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Knothing Without You

Summary:

Yoongi and Namjoon are perfect for each other, they wouldn't change a thing.

Until one day they get the worst news of their life; Yoongi isn't enough for Namjoon.

or

Pre established Namgi where Namjoon needs two subs to be satisfied. Yoongi happens to know the perfect person for the job: his co worker Hoseok.

Notes:

Hello everyone!! I hope you're doing well!

This fic is finally done!! I loved each and every second as I was writing it, and I'm so sad I won't be able to write about them anymore :((

BUT!! I hope you enjoy it as much as I loved writing it!!

Please please PLEASE read ALL the tags before continuing! This is a BDSM fic, and some kinks in the tags might be mentioned/used more than others, so please read at your own risk! If you don't like, don't read!

Prompt is at the end to avoid spoilers. As this is only the first chapter, I recommend not looking at it if you want to go through the next chapters spoiler-free.

Everything in this fanfiction is an alternate universe and does not reflect the BTS members in real life. The personalities may be different than what they actually are. I made this fanfiction for fun, I do not believe they are actually dating. Please respect BTS' privacy, they are real people with real lives.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Chapter Text

 

“Fuck, Yoongi.”

 

Yoongi wines, tilting his head to the direction of Namjoon’s voice. He can’t move much, the beige rope is restricting him and the thick black blindfold is making it hard to not be overly whiny with all of his senses heightened.

 

“You’re so pretty for me.”

“Only for you.” Yoongi pants.

 

Namjoon pulls at the rope harshly and Yoongi yelps, almost falling over from his kneeling position on the floor.

 

“Do we need to have another talk on how you should address me?” Namjoon’s voice is low and threatening, and Yoongi needs to ignore the way his hard cock twitches with interest.

“No sir, sorry sir.” Yoongi breaths. “I’ll be good, sir.”

“There’s my good kitty.” Namjoon lets go of the rope and Yoongi bounces back into place.

“Only want to be good to you,” Yoongi makes sure to add. “Sir.”

He can almost hear the way Namjoon’s smile perks up at that. “And good kitties deserve rewards, isn’t that right?”

 

Yoongi sits up straighter at that. Namjoon’s rewards can mean so many things, so many pleasant things.

 

He just wants to be good for Namjoon, he always wants to be good.

 

“You won’t get my cock today.” Yoongi deflates slightly, but he doesn’t dare pout. “But I think you deserve to cum, don’t you?”

 

Yoongi nods eagerly.

 

“Words, Yoon.”

“Yes sir, whatever you want sir.”

 

He feels Namjoon’s hand run through his hair, and Yoongi sighs. He’s starting to feel floaty, but he doesn’t let himself drop. Not yet.

 

“Good kitty.”

 

Yoongi smiles slightly as he hears Namjoon moving. The way he’s laying back on his heels is starting to tire him out. Usually they have a cushion so he doesn’t get sore, but Namjoon didn’t today. Yoongi knows he did it on purpose, everything that Namjoon does is with purpose, but he isn’t sure why.

 

He feels Namjoon’s cock poke at his cheek, but he doesn’t dare open his mouth until instructed.

 

“Should I fuck your pretty mouth this time?” Yoongi feels Namjoon grip his hair again. “Or should I let you do all the work?”

“Just want to please you, sir.” Yoongi breaths out. He knows Namjoon usually likes direct answers, but now is not one of those times.

 

And Yoongi is being truthful, he does want to please Namjoon. He just wants to be good for him.

 

“Do you think you can present like that until I cum?” He can hear the smirk in Namjoon’s voice, and Yoongi nods.

“Yes, sir.”

“You know what to say if it hurts too much?” Namjoon’s voice is still firm, but there's a slight softness to it.

“Yellow, sir.”

“And if you can’t speak?”

“Tap your thigh three times, sir.”

“And if you can’t find it?”

“Knock on the floor three times.”

“Good,” Yoongi’s smile widens slightly at the praise. He wants to be good, he’s so happy Namjoon thinks he’s good.

 

There’s a rustling of movement, Yoongi thinks Namjoon might be moving his clothes out of the way. But before he could think about it too much, he feels Namjoon tap his cock twice against Yoongi’s cheek. “Open.”

 

Yoongi opens his mouth wide. Usually he takes his boyfriend’s cock in his mouth, but they both get frustrated when Yoongi can’t seem to find it. As much as Yoongi likes the blindfold, he doesn’t like to find things in the dark.

 

He feels Namjoon slowly insert his hard cock in Yoongi’s mouth. It’s heavy against the older man’s tongue, but as much as he wants to, he refuses to close his mouth. Not until Namjoon tells him to.

 

“Close.”

 

Yoongi eagerly wraps his lips around the shaft, but he doesn’t move a muscle. He’s supposed to suck him off, right? He can’t remember if Namjoon told him what to do or not.

 

So he sits there cock-warming Namjoon as he waits for him to say what to do next.

 

“Make me cum.”

 

How? Yoongi doesn’t move, trying to think back to what they discussed he would do, but he can’t think of anything. He’s dropping, he knows he is. Namjoon can probably tell too, but he doesn’t say anything.

 

Tears of frustration prick at Yoongi’s eyes. He wants to be good for Namjoon, but he doesn’t know how to be good.

 

Namjoon must have noticed Yoongi’s hesitation, because he pulls his fingers away from Yoongi’s scalp and chuckles. “Do you forget how? I thought kitties were smart.”

 

I am smart. Yoongi tries to think really hard about what they discussed, but he comes out blank.

 

Lucky for him, Namjoon doesn’t torture him, because he lets out in a soft voice. “Do what you’re good at, Yoon. Use your tongue.”

 

Yoongi is relieved with the instructions and starts to work his tongue along Namjoon’s shaft. His boyfriend sighs.

 

“Make sure to suck too, baby.” Namjoon says it softer than Yoongi is used to. A bolt of pleasure goes down Yoongi’s spine when he realises Namjoon is too concentrated on his dick being sucked to be stern.

 

Yoongi makes sure to swallow around Namjoon before taking him deeper. Namjoon lets out a small groan and Yoongi relaxes his throat. It’s hard for him to bob his head properly with Namjoon standing up, but he does it slowly, making sure to suck and swallow as much as he can. He knows Namjoon loves it.

 

“Fuck, you’re so good for me.” Namjoon groans. “Such a good kitten.”

 

Yoongi moans around Namjoon’s cock and tries to bob faster. The dull ache in his legs is starting to get more and more uncomfortable but Yoongi doesn’t want to use a colour if he can help it.

 

He sinks so far down Namjoon’s cock he almost chokes. But he makes sure to press his tongue flat on the underside of his cock, hollowing his cheeks.

 

Namjoon pulls out unexpectedly with a pop. Yoongi was about to start begging for it, needing to please his dom. But he sits still from the sound of Namjoon jerking himself off.

 

“Be pretty for me,” Namjoon breathes out. “Show sir your pretty tongue.”

 

Yoongi opens his mouth again and lets his tongue slip out of his mouth. He knows that Namjoon loves his mouth- and more so his tongue. And he loves to mark Yoongi. Yoongi loves it too. He loves to feel like he belongs to Namjoon.

 

Namjoon groans right before the first rope of cum hits his face. Not enough of it lands on his tongue for him to be satisfied and he’s sad that the blindfold is probably now stained, but he sits there and takes it like he’s supposed to.

 

Yoongi closes his mouth after knowing Namjoon is done, savouring the salty taste. When Namjoon comes down from his high, he thumbs at some of the cum on Yoongi’s face before bringing it to his mouth. Yoongi happily sucks at the thumb.

 

“My little cum slut.” He can hear the smile in Namjoon’s voice and Yoongi gives him a smile back. “You’ve been very good, I think you deserve to cum. Don’t you think so?”

“Y-yes. Sir.” Yoongi lets out breathlessly.

“Yes what?”

“I…” Yoongi blanks for a moment.

“Did you forget how to speak?” He feels Namjoon’s hand on his face. “I need you to tell me with your words baby.”

“Cum.” Yoongi manages. “I want to cum.”

“You’re missing something,”

“Sir, please let me cum.” He begs. “I’ve been good.”

“I can’t disagree with that.”

 

Namjoon’s hand leaves his face and Yoongi misses the feeling. But he doesn’t think about it long as he feels that same hand wrap around his cock. Yoongi moans as Namjoon thumbs the precum dripping from the tip before giving him harsh tugs.

 

“You’re dripping everywhere kitty.” He can imagine Namjoon shaking his head. “Maybe we should lay out a towel next time.”

 

Yoongi flushes in embarrassment.

 

“No-” Yoongi groans when Namjoon angles his hand differently. “No towel.”

 

“No? Is it too embarrassing?” He can feel Namjoon’s breath against his ear, lowering his voice. “You should see the mess you’re making. It’s such a pretty sight.”

 

Yoongi moans, and it only takes a few more jerks before he’s spilling onto the floor. Namjoon makes sure to pamper him with kisses as he jerks him off through his orgasm. Namjoon stops his hand movements when he finally comes down, but he doesn’t stop with the feather light kisses. Yoongi basks in it, leaning against his boyfriend’s wide frame.

 

“You did so well for me,” Namjoon tells him softly. “I’m so lucky.”

 

Yoongi hums, not knowing what else to do but to accept what Namjoon is giving him. Lucky for him, Namjoon does all the work.

 

“Do you want me to take the ropes or blindfold off first?” He asks so gently, so different compared to earlier.

 

Yoongi frowns. He doesn’t want anything off of him. He loves the pressure that the rope is causing and the feeling of the blindfold around his eyes.

 

But Namjoon asked him a question and he can’t ignore it. He needs to choose.

 

“Rope.” Yoongi mumbles out and he hears Namjoon let out a soft “Okay.”

 

He feels Namjoon pick at the ropes, untying them slowly and gently. Yoongi tries not to pout when Namjoon removes the ropes completely. He can hear his boyfriend wrap them up properly and neatly. Yoongi is grateful for the extra time he has with the blindfold.

 

But his heart sinks when he hears Namjoon place the ropes down and he shifts so that he’s in front of him.

 

“Move your arms around a bit.” Yoongi does what he’s told without question. “Is it too sore?”

 

Yoongi shakes his head.

 

“Can I take the blindfold off now?”

 

Yoongi hesitates, but he ends up nodding. He’s glad that Namjoon doesn’t force him to talk when he doesn’t need to. Yoongi really doesn’t feel like talking right now.

 

Namjoon slowly takes off the blindfold and it takes Yoongi a few blinks to get used to the lighting of the room- even if it’s dim. He trails his eyes to Namjoon, who has a warm smile on his face.

 

“There’s my beautiful kitten.” The smile returns to Yoongi’s face at the praise, and it doesn’t help the fuzzy edges around his brain. Namjoon gives him a proper kiss. It’s soft and it grounds Yoongi a bit more. It doesn’t last long, Namjoon pulling away to say: “Try to start coming back to me, yeah?”

 

Yoongi nods, but it’s so hard to concentrate on Namjoon’s words as he watches the half-dressed man put away the equipment.

 

“I’m not sure if we can get the stains out,” He’s now holding the blindfold. “But it’s worth the try.”

 

Namjoon doesn’t leave the room to put it in the wash, he knows better with Yoongi being his sub for over a year now. Instead, he lays it next to Yoongi nicely before crouching in front of him.

 

“Do you want to shower with me?” Namjoon’s voice is so soft, but Yoongi frowns.

 

He doesn’t want to shower, as dirty as he feels, he likes it. He doesn’t want to wash away the only thing that reminds him of tonight. He knows the rope marks don’t stay for long. He wants to be reminded that Namjoon owns him.

 

Namjoon knows, because he always knows what Yoongi wants and needs, and says “After you shower, I can pick out a collar for you to wear to bed.”

Yoongi brightens at that. This time, he knows Namjoon is expecting words. “I would like that, sir.”

“Okay,” Namjoon nods. “I’m going to ask again, do you want to shower with me?” Namjoon’s voice is still so soft, it makes Yoongi smile slightly.

“Yes, sir.”

 

Namjoon stands up before helping Yoongi to his feet. Yoongi is still very naked, especially since Namjoon put his pants back on. They make their way out of the small playroom before entering the bathroom. Namjoon is quick to turn the water on, making sure it’s warm enough before switching on the shower setting. Yoongi stands still, waiting for Namjoon to give him some sort of direction.

 

“I’m going to clean off your face first.” Namjoon isn’t looking at him as he pulls out the wet wipes. “Then we can get the rest of you clean, okay?”

“Okay, sir.” Yoongi says quietly.

 

Namjoon turns to him before softly cleaning Yoongi’s face. The touches are light and almost make Yoongi’s skin tingle. After Namjoon is done, he throws the wet wipe into the trash before pulling his pants down.

 

“Let’s get you washed.” Namjoon smiles at Yoongi, and Yoongi returns it.

 

The shower isn’t big, but it fits both of them. They do need to take turns with the shower head, but Yoongi is okay with it. Mostly because Namjoon lets him have the most time under the water. Namjoon makes sure to clean him off thoroughly and carefully, almost disregarding himself.

 

“Don’t forget to clean yourself too.” Yoongi has a teasing smile. “I don’t want to fall asleep to the smell of cum.”

 

Namjoon lets out a chuckle and Yoongi grabs Namjoon’s loofah before drizzling some body soap onto it.

 

“I thought I was taking care of you? Not the other way around.” Namjoon raises an eyebrow at him, an amused smile on his face.

“You need to be taken care of too.” Yoongi points out. “You almost forgot to wash yourself.”
”I didn’t almost forget,” Namjoon rolls his eyes.

“Let me take care of you.” Yoongi gives him a look. “And turn around.”

“You can take care of me, but you can’t be bossy.” Namjoon gives him a sharp look, but turns around anyway.

“Sorry, sir.” Yoongi says quietly, before he starts to wash Namjoon’s back.

 

Namjoon hums as Yoongi drags the loofah across his back. He then asks, nicely this time, for Namjoon to turn around to work on his front. It doesn’t take long for them to both be clean, turning off the shower and stepping out onto the cold floor. Namjoon dries himself with a towel and Yoongi wraps one around himself.

 

“Are you okay being alone for a few minutes so I can clean up the playroom?” Namjoon looks at Yoongi as he says it and Yoongi tries not to blush.

“Yes, I’ll be okay.” Yoongi tells Namjoon honestly with a smile.

Namjoon nods. “Okay, go get dressed. I’ll be there soon.”

 

Namjoon takes his first step to leave, but Yoongi stops him.

 

“Wait.”

 

Namjoon halts, looking at Yoongi.

 

“Can I have a kiss?”

Namjoon smiles. “Of course you can.”

 

Namjoon places his lips on Yoongi’s sweetly and Yoongi melts into it. His boyfriend doesn’t let him stay lost in it for long, pulling away with a smirk.

 

“You’ll get more after you’re dressed.” He tells him.

“Okay.” Yoongi tries not to frown too much as he follows Namjoon out of the bathroom.

 

Their room isn’t far away, they don’t have that big of an apartment. It’s not like they need a big one, they don’t need anything else.

 

Sure it would be nice to have a bigger playroom, or a bigger living room, but it’s cosy. It’s home to Yoongi.

 

Yoongi met Namjoon at a house party his friends hosted. Yoongi was without a dom back then, he used to go on scene apps to find doms to fulfil his needs, but he resorted to pills from time to time.

 

He took one glance at Namjoon and was already in love.

 

But they got talking and decided to do scenes together to help each other out. It’s not healthy for either of them to go long without doing a scene, no matter how many pills Yoongi is taking.

 

They started to become friends, then started to become lovers.

 

Which led them to move in together, which was four months ago.

 

And Yoongi is enjoying each and every second.

 

Namjoon is the kindest dom he has ever met and always fulfils Yoongi’s needs perfectly.

 

Yoongi smiles at the thought of doing the same for Namjoon.

 

Yoongi walks into the bedroom and doesn’t waste time to unravel the towel around him and to grab the pyjamas Namjoon left out for him. After Yoongi puts them on, he walks right back out to put the towel in the wash before going back inside their room. Yoongi sits on their shared bed as he waits for Namjoon eagerly.

 

Luckily, he doesn’t need to wait for his boyfriend for long. Namjoon comes in, still naked but he now has a dark purple collar in his hand. Yoongi stands up eagerly and Namjoon gives him a playful look.

 

“Can you please put it on me, sir?” Yoongi gives him a pleading face and Yoongi knows Namjoon is holding back a chuckle.

“It’s hard to say no when you’re being so polite.” Namjoon takes a step forward before draping it over Yoongi’s neck. Namjoon fastens the back, making sure it’s the right tightness before taking a step back to admire his work.

“Thank you, sir.” Yoongi smiles at Namjoon, and the dom plants a small kiss on Yoongi’s lips.

“Crawl into bed so I can get my clothes on.” Namjoon tells him.

“So we can talk?”

“Yes, so we can talk.” Namjoon gives him an amused glance. “Now don’t make me ask you twice.”

 

Yoongi doesn’t wait another second before climbing into his side of the bed. He watches as Namjoon grabs a pair of sweatpants before putting them on. Yoongi doesn’t hide how his eyes linger on Namjoon’s ass as his boyfriend closes the door and turns off the light. Yoongi doesn’t have time to adjust to the new brightness before he feels the bed dip.

 

“Lay down for me Yoon.” Namjoon says softly and Yoongi obliges.

 

They’re both facing each other, so Yoongi leans in for a kiss. At first he thinks Namjoon is going to make him wait until after their talk, but Namjoon kisses back with as much love and passion as Yoongi does. The kiss calms Yoongi right down and almost makes him drowsy.

 

Namjoon doesn’t let the kiss linger for too long before he pulls away, a knowing smile on his face.

 

“You can’t fall asleep yet.”

“I won’t.” Yoongi protests as Namjoon wraps his arms around him, pulling him close.

 

His boyfriend hums and Yoongi has to resist the urge to close his eyes and fall asleep right then and there. 

 

But lucky for him, Namjoon distracts him.

 

“Was there anything you didn’t like about the scene?” Namjoon starts off with. Yoongi knew he would, he always does.

“Nope, it was perfect.” Yoongi smiles even though Namjoon can’t see it. “We didn’t try anything new.”

“I know, but your preferences can change.” Namjoon points out. “What were your favourite parts?”

 

Yoongi doesn’t answer Namjoon right away, thinking hard. He doesn’t think he really had a favourite part, he loved it all.

 

“I guess I like it when I’m yours.”

“I need you to be more specific, baby.” Namjoon plants a kiss on his head. “You’re always mine.”

“I like it when you specify, I like it when you say I’m yours.” Yoongi tells him. “And I like it when you mark me.”

“I love marking you.” Yoongi can tell Namjoon is smiling. “What do you mean by specific?”

“Like, um,” Yoongi’s face turns red. “When you called me your cum slut.”

“Hmm I see.” Yoongi can tell Namjoon is thinking about something, a next scene maybe? “Did you like it when I tugged you?”

“A little.” Yoongi admitted.

“Would you like it if I attached a leash to a collar and tugged at it?”

 

Yoongi already knows he doesn’t like the idea. He’s mentioned any rough play around his neck is a big no, he’s not even too sure why Namjoon is bringing it up.

 

“It’s a hard no, sir.” Yoongi tells him. “I don’t want anything harsh around my neck.”

“Thank you for being honest Yoongi.” Namjoon gives him a small squeeze and Yoongi relaxes slightly. “I know your neck is sensitive, I just wanted to make sure.”

Yoongi nods. “But I think I like being pushed around, I want to try it.”

“Our harness has a clip on the front, what if I hooked a leash to the front?”

Yoongi thinks about it for a moment, but eventually nods. “I would like to try.”

“Okay, I’ll plan it and I’ll let you know.”

“Can we do it tomorrow?”

Namjoon laughs at Yoongi’s eagerness. “We don’t need to do a scene tomorrow.”

“Three days is too far.” Yoongi pouts.

“Not tomorrow.” Namjoon tells him. “But if we go out for lunch the day after, we can have a small scene.”

Yoongi smiles. “Okay, thank you sir.”

 

Yoongi gives Namjoon a tight squeeze.

 

“If that’s everything, we can sleep now.” Namjoon tells him.

“Okay, good night.” Yoongi yawns, shiftling impossibly closer to Namjoon.

Namjoon doesn’t let go of his grip, inhaling before exhaling deeply. “Good night, love you kitten.”

“Love you too Joonie.”

 

──────────────

 

It’s days like these that Yoongi just wishes he can go back home and cry.

 

His manager is mean, not overly mean but he’s definitely not nice. He didn’t need to yell at Yoongi for making a mistake. It wasn’t a huge mistake either, something that Yoongi can easily fix in an hour.

 

But his manager didn’t see it that way. He saw it as a mistake. A reason for him to not trust Yoongi.

 

Yoongi doesn’t cry, but he doesn’t look anyone in the eye as he goes back to his spot. He debates calling Namjoon, but it’s not his lunch break just yet where he usually calls his boyfriend. Yoongi can wait an extra hour.

 

Yoongi is already trying to fix his mistake when he hears someone stop in front of him. Yoongi looks up, the stranger flashing a blinding smile at him.

 

“Hi! Are you Min Yoongi?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Hoseok! I was told that we would be working on the project together?” His smile doesn’t falter, but he almost sounds unsure.

“Yeah, I guess we are.” Yoongi tries to say it lightly but he hates the bitter feeling he has in his chest. He made one mistake, he doesn’t need any help.

“Great! Room two is empty if you want to work in there.” Hoseok offers and Yoongi nods.

“My lunch is in an hour.” He tells Hoseok. “We can work now but I will need to leave for a minute to take it.”

“That’s no problem.” Hoseok’s smile is still vibrant, it almost makes Yoongi feel lighter.

 

He grabs his things before walking over to room two with Hoseok at his heels. The room is small, but they don’t need a bigger one anyway. Hoseok takes a seat to his opposite, sitting up neatly.

 

“I haven’t seen you here before.” Yoongi says as he looks through his files.

“I’m new to the finances department.” Hoseok says. “How long have you been here?”

“For a few years.” Yoongi responds.

“And you’re still doing scrap work?”

“It’s not scrap work.”

“I’m new and on the same project as you.” Hoseok tilts his head. “It sounds like scrap work.”

 

Yoongi holds back from rolling his eyes.

 

“It’s not because you’re a sub is it?”

This earns a look from Yoongi. “What makes you think I’m a sub?”

“It’s obvious.” Hoseok gives him a playful smile.

 

Yoongi remains silent and looks back at his laptop.

 

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, obviously.” Hoseok tries to defend himself. “I’m a sub too.”

“You’re a sub?” Yoongi tries not to look too surprised as he looks at Hoseok. Hoseok is so confident and has a controlling atmosphere around him. He’s surprised the man isn’t a dom.

 

Or maybe he’s just a bratty sub.

 

“Don’t act too surprised.”

“I’m not.” Yoongi clears his throat. “You aren’t a switch?”

“Why? Are you disappointed?” There’s a teasing glint in his eye, one that Yoongi tries to ignore.

“Why would I be?” Yoongi asks him. “I already have a dom- my boyfriend.”

“Oh,” Hoseok’s smile falters, looking surprised. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to impose.”

“It’s fine,” Yoongi drags his eyes back to his screen. “You were just trying to make conversation.”

“It’s intimidating being a sub working in an office like this.” Hoseok smiles nervously. “They don’t mistreat subs, do they?”

“Not really.” Yoongi shrugs. “But don’t expect a promotion any time soon.”

Yoongi looks up after pulling up the file to find Hoseok frowning for the first time. “That doesn’t sound fun.”

“What can you do? You just have to keep working hard.” Yoongi turns the laptop towards him. “You’re on this project because I made a mistake. It will take about an hour to fix. Thirty minutes if there’s two of us.”

 

Yoongi turns his laptop back around and Hoseok opens his.

 

It doesn’t take them long to fix the mistake, like he expected. They finished right on time for lunch. He tells Hoseok they can work on the project after lunch, and goes outside to call Namjoon. His boyfriend picks up on the second ring, already expecting the phone call.

 

“Hi baby,”

“Hi,” Yoongi lets himself smile. “How are you?”

“Tired,” Namjoon sighs, but Yoongi knows he’s smiling. “But that’s to be expected.”

“I would be tired too.”

“How about you?”

Yoongi’s smile falters. “It’s been better.”

“What happened?” Namjoon sounds serious now, and Yoongi feels bad for worrying him.

“Nothing too bad,” Yoongi tries to reassure his boyfriend. “I got in trouble though.”

“For what?”

“I put a period in the wrong place.” Yoongi sighs. “But we fixed it, it’s all good now.”

“We?”

“He put someone else on my project, he said he couldn’t trust me.” Yoongi almost doesn’t want to tell Namjoon this. He hates being a disappointment. He knows Namjoon will take his side no matter what, but Yoongi still hates it.

“Seriously?” His boyfriend sounds as upset as he is. “You made one small mistake, I bet people make mistakes all the time.”

“You know how he is.” Which is him saying It’s because I’m a sub. “But it’s fine, the new guy is nice.”

“I’m glad.”

“I think he tried to hit on me.”

 

Namjoon stays silent for a moment.

 

“Did you tell him you were taken?”

“I did, and he stopped.”

“That’s good.” He can almost hear Namjoon relax. “Are you excited for our date tonight?”

“Yes.” Yoongi nods, feeling the nervous butterflies in his stomach.

 

They try to go on a date once a week. It’s usually a dinner date, but today they decided to go to the movies. It’s simple, but it’s nice.

 

And they always do a scene afterwards. Yoongi can’t wait.

 

“I am too,” He knows Namjoon is smiling. “I’m always excited.”

 

Yoongi tries not to blush at Namjoon’s words. He’s right outside his work where anyone can walk out at any given moment.

 

They keep the conversation light before Namjoons says goodbye and hangs up. Yoongi feels a bit lighter as he walks back into the office. He grabs his lunch before heading back to room two, where Hoseok is still sitting.

 

“Did you take your lunch?”

“Hi,” Hoseok looks up from his laptop. “I did, I ate my lunch in here.”

“Oh,” Yoongi blinks at him. “There’s a lunch room where you can eat if you want to.”

“I know.” Hoseok looks shy for a moment. “I just don’t like eating when there’s a lot of people around.”

Yoongi glances at Hoseok’s half-eaten sandwich. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, it’s okay.” Hoseok smiles. “I’m done eating anyway.”

 

Weird. But Yoongi doesn’t question it. He sits in his previous seat before pulling out his own lunch.

 

“Can I eat here?”

“Of course you can,” Hoseok gives him a playful smile. “You didn’t eat earlier?”

“I was taking a phone call.” Yoongi doesn’t specify more than that, pulling out his chopsticks and container of rice.

 

Hoseok nods and Yoongi opens his laptop back up. They sit in complete silence for a while, which Yoongi honestly prefers.

 

Hoseok must not think the same thing.

 

“So… where does he work?”

“Who?” Yoongi gives a questioning glance at Hoseok.

“Your boyfriend.”

“He works at a daycare.” Yoongi answers.

“That’s so cool.” Hoseok’s smile brightens. “Do you like children too?”

“They’re okay.” Yoongi wouldn’t be able to work in the same field as Namjoon, he would lose his mind. But having a kid of his own, he would enjoy it.

 

He voiced this to Namjoon before they got serious, and Namjoon smiled and was obviously on board. They may not do anything now, but it’s something to look forward to in the future when they have the money and space for it.

 

“What about you?” Yoongi finds him asking. “Do you have a partner?”

Hoseok shakes his head. “I’m sorta in the middle of doms right now.”

Yoongi nods. “It happens.”

 

Yoongi is relieved that Hoseok doesn’t have a partner, he wouldn’t know what to make of the small tease earlier.

 

They fall back to comfortable silence again, and Yoongi is once again grateful as he continues to work on the project.

 

──────────────

 

“You know what to do.” Namjoon still has his hand on the small of Yoongi’s back. “On your knees.”

 

Yoongi doesn’t hesitate to comply, dropping down on the thin pillow that Namjoon laid out for him prior. Excitement and anticipation buzzes through Yoongi. They had a great date night, but his boyfriend didn’t hint at what he will be doing tonight for the scene, Yoongi is going in completely blind.

 

Yoongi knows that Namjoon wouldn’t do anything that they haven’t discussed prior to the scene, but he’s still almost nervous. He has a feeling that his boyfriend will be trying something new today with the way he’s acting.

 

Namjoon walks away from Yoongi to grab the harness that he seemed to have left out. Yoongi perks in interest as Namjoon holds it out in front of him.

 

“Don’t get hard too fast,” Namjoon glances at his half hard cock hanging between his legs. “We haven’t even started.”

 

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, Namjoon hasn’t asked him to speak. He ignores the question of what they’re doing today that’s been burning in the back of his throat.

 

Namjoon takes a step closer to Yoongi before crouching in front of him. “I’ll help you put this on.”

“Okay, sir.” Yoongi nods before Namjoon starts to help him into the harness.

Once done with the hard fake leather fitting tightly against his skin, Namjoon pulls away. “How does that feel?”

“It feels good, thank you sir.”

“That’s good.” Namjoon gives a smile. “Wait here like a good kitten.”

 

Yoongi stays as still as possible as Namjoon walks away to grab a black leash. Yoongi blinks at it, eagerness clouding his brain.

 

“How do you feel about playing a game today?” Namjoon’s smile doesn’t leave his face as he reaches Yoongi.

“Depends what the game is, sir.” Yoongi doesn’t really care for games. He hates being teased and he hates to lose- both of which Namjoon knows. He trusts Namjoon and he knows he isn’t supposed to ask questions, but Yoongi doesn’t think he would like to go in blind for games.

 

And Namjoon knows this too, which is why he doesn’t scold him. Instead, he keeps his smile as he answers.

 

“Just a small one.” Namjoon hooks the leash. “Do you remember when you told me you wanted to try guided masturbation?”

Yoongi thinks he feels his cock twitch. “Are we doing that today, sir?”

“We are.” Namjoon takes a step back, the leash still in hand. “But with a twist.”

 

Yoongi blinks at Namjoon.

 

“Colour?”

“Green.” Yoongi tells him, and without warning Namjoon tugs at the leash.

 

Yoongi gasps in surprise and bounces right back. His boyfriend is quick to speak again.

 

“Still green?”

Yoongi nods. “Yes, sir. Very green.”

Namjoon chuckles. “Good.”

 

The dom moves so he’s a few more steps away from Yoongi, not too far but far enough for Namjoon to easily tug at his harness.

 

“I will be telling you what to do, and you will obey.” Namjoon looks at him with a glint in his eye. “If you don’t, I’ll pull.”

 

Yoongi blinks at Namjoon. It seems easy enough, the sub knows there must be a catch.

 

“Do I get to cum, sir?”

“It depends how good you are for me.” Namjoon smiles.

“And will you cum, sir?”

“Why? Do you want my cock that badly?” Yoongi nods eagerly, and Namjoon laughs. “If you’re good, I’ll let you finish me off.”

“I’ll be good.” Yoongi smiles, but gasps again when Namjoon tugs hard on the leash, making him hunch forward.

“You were doing so good with manners.” His boyfriend tisks. “If you’re not going to behave, I can just end the scene-”

“No!” Yoongi protests, sitting back up on his knees. “I’m sorry sir. I’ll be good from now on, sir.”

“You’ll be good to just anyone?” Namjoon raises an eyebrow.

“Just you, only good for you sir.”

Namjoon smiles. “That’s my good kitty.”

 

Yoongi smiles at Namjoon. He always wants to be good to him, hearing his boyfriend say it makes him overly happy.

 

He can be good for him, he will be good for him.

 

“Start by touching your nipples baby,” Namjoon glances at them. “They always get neglected, don’t they?”

 

Yoongi nods and goes to reach for his chest, but falls forward when Namjoon tugs at the leash.

 

“Use your words, you know that kitty.”

“Sorry sir, I’ll do better sir.” Yoongi gasps out, sitting back when Namjoon releases the pressure on the leash.

“Good,” Yoongi looks up at his boyfriend through his eyelashes. “Now let's try this again, touch your chest.”

“Yes sir.” He makes sure to say it this time before bringing his fingers to his chest.

 

Yoongi sighs at the contact before using his thumb over the sensitive buds. He makes sure to watch Namjoon’s face as he does so. He isn’t careful with them, pinching them roughly before smoothing his thumb over.

 

“Your pretty cock looks so painful.” Namjoon cocks his head. “Is it painful kitty?”

“It is, sir.” Yoongi nods but he doesn’t stop abusing his nipples. “Can I please touch it, sir?”

 

Yoongi has to stop touching his chest to stop himself from face planting on the floor. Namjoon tugs harder this time and Yoongi isn’t even fully sure what he did wrong. The edges are starting to get fuzzy and Yoongi is having a hard time concentrating.

 

“You do not get to ask what you want.” Namjoon’s voice is lower and Yoongi doesn’t look at him, holding back a whimper. “Appreciate what you’re given,”

“Yes sir, sorry sir.” Yoongi says, tears pricking his eyes. He doesn’t know why he’s messing up so much today. He likes being pulled around, he just hates disappointing Namjoon.

“Change of plans.” Namjoon drops the leash. “Stay here.”

“Yes sir.” Yoongi says quietly as Namjoon walks away. He doesn’t look at his boyfriend, too ashamed to look him in the eye.

 

Namjoon comes back quickly before placing a bottle of lube next to him. Yoongi looks up this time, almost in a questioning way.

 

“I want you to use the lube and your fingers to open yourself up.” Namjoon instructs, grabbing onto the leash again. “Slowly.”

“Yes sir.” He doesn’t hesitate to say, but stays still. He knows Namjoon wants to tell him step by step.

And he was right, because his boyfriend smiles and Yoongi tries hard not to smile back. “Open the lube, then squirt some onto your fingers.”

 

Yoongi does as instructed, not wasting any time to open the cap and putting a generous amount on his fingers.

 

“Spread your cheeks for me.”

 

Yoongi tries with his free hand, it’s difficult but he somewhat succeeds. Namjoon is satisfied, because he moves on.


”Insert one digit, slowly.”

“Yes, sir.”

 

Yoongi moves his hand behind him before inserting a digit slowly. He makes sure not to move it once he’s fully inside, he waits for further instructions instead.

 

“Move it around, you’ll be putting another finger inside soon.”

“Okay, sir.”

 

Yoongi gasps when Namjoon tugs the leash. It isn’t hard enough for him to fall over, just enough to catch him by surprise.

 

“I don’t like the word “okay”.” Namjoon tells him. “Yes and no sir only.”

“Sorry sir.” Yoongi looks at him. “I will do better, sir.”

“I know you will.” Namjoon smiles at him. “You’re my good kitty.”

Yoongi smiles back. “Only yours, sir.”

 

The sub starts to wiggle his finger around, making sure to purposefully avoid his prostate. He can reach it at this angle, this isn’t the first time he's fingered himself in this position. But Namjoon didn’t tell him to, so he doesn’t even think about it.

 

“I think you’re ready for another finger, don’t you?” Namjoon asks him in a deeper voice, one that brings shivers to Yoongi’s spine.

“Yes sir.”

 

Yoongi brings another lubed-finger up to his rim before inserting it. There’s a bit of a burn, but nothing that Yoongi can’t handle. He wonders if Namjoon wants him to insert another finger after this one, maybe to fuck him?

 

“I am not going to fuck you.” Namjoon says suddenly and Yoongi tries not to frown. “I can tell you’re thinking about it, your cock is twitching.”

 

Yoongi’s face heats up in embarrassment. He doesn’t usually get embarrassed with his boyfriend, but being caught thinking about something like that is embarrassing for him.

 

“Stretch yourself more.” Namjoon orders.

“Yes sir.”

 

Yoongi bites his lip at the burning sensation with each stretch of his fingers working against his rim. Namjoon doesn’t torture him for long.

 

“Touch your prostate.”

 

Yoongi doesn’t hesitate, jamming his fingers in the spongy tissue. It causes him to cry out and for Namjoon to curse under his breath.

 

“You’re so hot Yoongi.” Namjoon starts to palm himself through his pants. “Fuck yourself.”

 

Yoongi pulls his fingers back only to shove them back in at a quick pace. Yoongi moans when the fingers shove against his prostate again, but he doesn’t slow down, instead increasing the pace.

 

He watches as Namjoon wiggles out of his pants and boxers, his almost fully-hard cock on display. He grasps it, collects pre-cum at the tip before he jacks off. Yoongi whines, he hates it when he’s not the one helping Namjoon. He wants to be useful.

 

“Do you want to cum Yoongi?”

“Yes sir, I want to cum sir.” Yoongi pants out.

“And you want to help sir cum too, right?”

Yoongi nods enthusiastically. “Want to help sir cum.”

“Okay,” Namjoon takes his hand off his dick before sitting down. “Come here kitty.”

 

Yoongi takes his hands out of his ass before crawling over to Namjoon. The dom no longer has a hold on the leash and he’s waiting patiently for Yoongi to crawl over. Once Yoongi reaches his boyfriend, Namjoon runs a hand through Yoongi’s hair.

 

“You’re so pretty, kitty.” Namjoon whispers, his expression softening. “It took every bit of self restraint to not touch you.”

“Sir,”

 

Namjoon places his lips on Yoongi’s, and he doesn’t hesitate to kiss back. The kiss is sweet but short lived. Namjoon pulls back, his authoritative face back.

 

“I want you to make us both cum.” Namjoon tells him. “Do you think you can do that?”

“How sir?” Yoongi’s mind is blank on what Namjoon wants him to do. His mind is in the same fuzzy state that he’s used to feeling, one that he welcomes. But he can’t seem to do anything without Namjoon’s specific instructions.

“Jerk us both off at the same time.” Namjoon gives us a knowing smile. “Can you do that?”

“I can, sir.” Yoongi nods before shifting forward, enough for their dicks to be touching.

 

His fingers still have lube on it, but it’s not enough. He reaches for the small bottle of lube before squirting some onto his hand. He places the bottle back on the ground before aligning both their cocks. Namjoon’s is significantly bigger than his, but Yoongi doesn’t feel self conscious about it. He starts to jerk them off at a fast pace, earning a groan from Namjoon and pants from Yoongi. He doesn’t slow his pace, even when his own dick twitches and more precum oozes from the tip. Even when he feels his orgasm approaching.

 

“So good for me.” Namjoon groans. “Such a good kitty.”

“Can I,” Yoongi pants out. “Can I cum, sir?”

“Can you wait for me?” Yoongi looks up from their cocks, making eye contact with Namjoon.

“I can try, sir.”

 

Yoongi doesn’t know if he would be able to succeed, but he tries to put more pressure on Namjoon’s length instead of his own. He can tell Namjoon is close too by the way his cock is twitching and how his breathing has increased. Without warning, the dom cums, jerking his hips into Yoongi’s hand as he does so. From the sight of Namjoon cumming and the feeling of his boyfriend’s cum coating his hand and dick, Yoongi can’t stop himself from releasing the heat in his stomach. He orgasms with Namjoon, moaning loudly as he jerks them off through it. He feels hands touching his sides, but he doesn’t process it fully, not until he comes down from his orgasm. When he does, Namjoon is already looking at him with a small smile. Yoongi takes his hand off of their cocks, suddenly realising how gross he feels.

 

“We need a shower.” Yoongi mumbles, and Namjoon laughs.

“We do.”

“You got cum on my thigh.”

“I think that might be yours.” Namjoon quirks an eyebrow. “You were lost there for a second.”

“It was hot.” Yoongi admits. “I like it when you boss me around.”

 

Namjoon leans and kisses Yoongi sweetly. Yoongi accepts it, tangling his clean fingers in Namjoon’s hair, pulling slightly. Namjoon is the one to pull away first, a small smile on his lips.

 

“I like it when I boss you around too.” Namjoon grips the harness. “We should probably take this off.”

 

Yoongi nods.

 

“Is it okay if I take this off?” Namjoon gives him a careful look, and Yoongi realises he didn’t give him a verbal response.

 

“Yes sir.”

 

Namjoon first starts by unclipping the leash before he carefully starts to take off the harness. Once off, Namjoon grabs both items before putting them off to the side.

 

“Let’s go take a shower, I’ll clean those once we get out.”

“Sounds good sir.”

 

Namjoon holds out his hand which Yoongi gladly takes. He stretches, his legs stiff from being on the floor for so long. His boyfriend guides him to the bathroom. It isn’t until they reach the bathroom that Namjoon detaches his hand to turn on the faucet. He makes sure the water is warm enough before climbing in and inviting Yoongi. Yoongi sighs when the hot water touches his skin, almost melting.

 

“You didn’t completely drop.” Namjoon comments, and Yoongi opens his eyes.

“No, I didn’t.” Yoongi shrugs. “But I still loved it.”

“Are you okay?”

Yoongi nods. “I was satisfied, I didn’t need to fully drop.”

Namjoon nods. “That’s good.”

“What about you?” Yoongi doesn't take his eyes off of Namjoon’s face. “You seemed desperate to get the scene started.”

Namjoon looks away for a moment. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to be that obvious.”

“It wasn’t, but I know you.” Yoongi takes a step forward. “But something is going on, and you haven’t been telling me about it.”

“I don’t want to worry you.”

“We’re supposed to be honest with each other.” Yoongi reminds him. “This won’t work if we aren’t honest.”

Namjoon sighs. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“What’s going on?” Yoongi asks again, and this time Namjoon catches his eye.
”I don’t really know.” Namjoon admits. “But I knew I needed to do a scene, like my body couldn’t handle another minute of waiting.”

“But we did a small scene yesterday, even on our off day.” Yoongi frowns. “And you still felt like that?”

Namjoon nods. “I’ve been feeling off for about a week now, but it was manageable. Today was a bit worse.”

“Maybe we need to do the scenes a bit differently-”

“I love our scenes.” Namjoon takes Yoongi’s hand. “Our scenes aren’t the problem.”

“Okay.” Yoongi says, but he’s still having doubts. “But you need to book a doctor's appointment.”

“Yoongi-”

“It wouldn’t hurt.” Yoongi gives him a pleading look. “Please Joonie, I’m worried.”

Namjoon deflated slightly, bringing his hand to Yoongi’s cheek. “Okay, I’ll get it checked out.”

“Thank you.” Yoongi gives him a small smile.

“But I’m sure it’s nothing.” Namjoon reassures him. “The doctor will say the same thing.”

“Okay.” Yoongi says in almost a whisper.

 

He lets the words reassure him. Namjoon doesn’t seem too worried. So Yoongi doesn’t have to worry either. The doctor’s trip will put an end to all their worries.

 

After that, everything can go back to normal.

 

──────────────

 

The next day, Yoongi is back in the same room with Hoseok. As much as he hates needing help, he doesn’t hate the other sub’s presence. He keeps his days interesting.

 

“So, how did you land this job?” Hoseok speaks up, Yoongi is used to the attempts of small talk by now.

“My old office had to shut down, but they tried to take care of us before they did.” Yoongi’s eyes don’t leave the laptop screen. “They found this position for me.”

“And you haven’t left the position since then.”

“No.”

“Then why do you still work here?” Hoseok leans back on his chair. “They don’t seem to treat you very well.”

“The pay is good, and the hours are flexible.” Yoongi looks up at Hoseok. “And there are worse jobs out there.”

“I guess.” Hoseok crosses his arms. “But there are also better ones.”

 

Yoongi shrugs and continues to look at the excel sheet in front of him. He doesn’t get very far before his phone starts to buzz. He almost ignores it, but sees that it’s from Namjoon and frowns.

 

I’m not supposed to call him for another thirty minutes.

 

“I need to take this.” Yoongi tells Hoseok, standing up.

 

Hoseok gives him a questioning glance but he doesn’t question it. Yoongi doesn’t say another word before grabbing the phone and leaving the room, finding the nearest bathroom. The phone stops ringing once he enters. Yoongi finds an empty stall quickly before calling right back. Namjoon picks up almost right away.

 

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you somewhere private?”

“I’m in a bathroom stall, it’s not my lunch yet.” Yoongi turns around, his free hand fidgeting with the toilet paper lid. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m at the doctors.”

“You are?” Yoongi asks, surprised. “You were able to get in so soon?”

“Well,” He hears Namjoon sigh on the other end. “It got worse.”

Yoongi thinks he stops breathing. “Worse? How?”

“I’m feeling sick, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He can hear the fear starting to rise in Namjoon’s voice. “We just did a big one yesterday, I don’t know why I’m feeling like this.”

“The doctor will know.” Yoongi tells him. “And I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

“Yoongi-” Namjoon starts to say, but he pauses. “I… I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” Yoongi turns around, facing the door. “I’ll leave work early, I’m not the only one on the project anymore. It’s no problem.”

“Okay,” He says, but Yoongi thinks he mostly says it to himself. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Yoongi puts a hand on the lock. “Just sit tight, I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay, love you.”

“Love you too.”

 

Yoongi hangs up and as soon as he does, he’s already out of the bathroom.

 

“Is everything okay?” Hoseok looks at him wide eyed when Yoongi bursts into the room.

“Family emergency, I need to leave early.” Yoongi starts to desperately pack his stuff. “I’ll be here tomorrow, just try to get whatever you can get done without me.”

“Oh, okay.” Hoseok frowns. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

 

Yoongi shoves the rest of his papers in his bag before walking back out of the room, not sparing another glance at his colleagues. In the elevator, he sends a quick message to his boss before rushing to his car.

 

The drive to their doctor’s office is a mix of Yoongi trying not to panic too much and him trying not to hit anyone with his reckless driving. Yoongi gets to the office in record time, walking inside and finding the office quickly. The receptionist tells him which room Namjoon is in and Yoongi doesn’t waste time before knocking on the door. The door is slightly ajar, so the sub opens it slowly. Namjoon is sitting on the bed, already in a gown when he looks up at Yoongi. Relief flashes through his face before Yoongi rushes over to him and hugs him tightly.

 

“I’m okay, Yoongi.” Namjoon reassures him. “The doctor should be coming back soon, he left ten minutes ago with the tests.”

“He did them that fast?” Yoongi pulls back.

Namjoon nods. “He said they should be ready soon.”

 

Yoongi nods, holding Namjoon’s hand. They don’t say anything else, Yoongi can only assume Namjoon is as lost in thought as he is at the moment. Soon enough, the doctor walks in with papers in his hand. He looks surprised to see Yoongi standing with Namjoon.

 

“Who is this?” He doesn’t ask in an impolite way, but Yoongi is growing impatient.

“This is Yoongi, he’s my boyfriend.” The doctor doesn’t take his eyes off of Namjoon.

“And your sub?”

 

Namjoon nods.

 

“Is it okay with you for him to be in the room with us as we talk?”

“Everything you need to tell me Yoongi deserves to know too.” Namjoon tells the doctor, but Yoongi’s anxiety starts to rise.

“It’s not bad, is it?”

The doctor looks at Yoongi, before looking at Namjoon. “After running further tests, and with your symptoms, we were able to quickly distinguish that you have something we call sub slump.”

“Sub slump?” Namjoon blinks. “What’s that?”

Yoongi holds his breath, waiting for the doctor to continue.

“It’s when a dom is not satisfied. In this case, it means a dom needs two subs to keep them satisfied, not just one.” The doctor looks at the paper. “Going for long periods of time without being satisfied can lead to your body reacting the way it is.”

“I need two subs?” Namjoon sounds shocked, but honestly Yoongi can’t seem to move his eyes from the doctor to see his face. “Why would I need another one? I have Yoongi.”

 

Yoongi wonders the same thing, why would Namjoon need two? Unless…

 

“I’m not enough.” Yoongi almost whispers and he feels Namjoon look at him. “You need two now.”

“You are enough.” He hears Namjoon say it, but Yoongi knows it’s not true. They wouldn’t be in this situation if it were true.

 

Yoongi isn’t enough for Namjoon, and now Namjoon is facing the repercussions.

 

“Namjoon would be facing this regardless, he needs two subs.” The doctor points out.

“So what, we need to bring someone else in?” Yoongi can tell that Namjoon hates the idea. Yoongi does too, he hates sharing. He doesn’t want anyone to know Namjoon like he does.

“Bringing another sub in doesn’t mean you need to date.” The doctor points out. “But I would start looking for one. It may be uncomfortable at first, but the sooner the better.”

“And what do we do in the meantime?” Yoongi feels lost. He doesn’t even know where to start to find a new sub for Namjoon. Do they all do scenes together? Is it better for Namjoon to do it alone? He knows a lot of talking and research will need to be done after, but Yoongi can barely think about it without feeling sick.

 

He has to remind himself that Namjoon is also feeling sick because of this, he’s physically reacting to the slump. Yoongi might need to be the strong one in this situation.

 

It’s the least he can do, he’s the one causing this.

 

“Continue what you’re doing, but I’ll be prescribing suppressants to control the urges.” The doctor scribbles on his paper. “But the represents won’t last forever, so you need to start looking for someone else as soon as possible.”

 

Yoongi nods, but he isn’t sure if Namjoon even heard the doctor. Regardless, he hands them a prescription note with his business card.

 

“If you have any questions don’t hesitate to give us a call.” He says, standing back up. “I do want to see Namjoon back here in two weeks, I hope there will be progress by then.”

“There will be.” Yoongi tells the doctor. He feels Namjoon’s gaze on him again, but Yoongi ignores it.

 

The doctor exits the room, and Yoongi realises two things.

 

One, he can almost feel how distressed Namjoon is, and Yoongi needs to be strong for him. For them both.

 

Two, he needs to leave as soon as possible before he breaks.

 

“I’ll meet you at home.” Yoongi tells Namjoon, not making eye contact with his boyfriend.

“Okay.” Namjoon’s voice sounds so far away, but Yoongi doesn’t focus on the dom right now. He knows Namjoon is as broken as he is. They can’t resolve anything until they get home first.

 

It’s a blur when Yoongi leaves the doctor’s office. No one stops to talk to him and Yoongi is grateful. He isn’t open to having a conversation right now anyway.

 

He enters his vehicle and turns on the ignition. He backs out, spotting Namjoon’s vacant car as he drives out of the parking lot.

 

Once Yoongi is finally on the road, he breaks down. Tears threaten to spill from his eyes, but he doesn’t allow them to. He refuses to cry about this.

 

It’s my own fault, Namjoon is the one suffering the most.

 

Namjoon is physically feeling pain because of Yoongi, because he’s not enough.

 

Regardless of what the doctor said, this situation didn’t start until recently.

 

But he doesn’t want to leave Namjoon, he loves him, he completes him. And he knows Namjoon doesn’t want to leave him either. He just needs to suck up his pride and possessiveness.

 

For Namjoon. This isn’t about me.

 

He knows Namjoon doesn’t want to, but he has to. If he wants to keep Yoongi, he has to find another sub.

 

But Yoongi doesn’t even know where to start looking. Do they go on scene apps? Would it be better to try and ask someone they know, or would it be worse?

 

But Yoongi has a feeling that Namjoon will try to live off of the pills as much as possible, and Yoongi knows from experience how awful that can be.

 

He has to remind himself not to think of himself, but to think of Namjoon. Yoongi doesn’t matter in this scenario, it’s all about his boyfriend.

 

Yoongi decides to stop avoiding the house he’s been detouring for the past half hour. He knows Namjoon is probably waiting for him at the house right now, but Yoongi couldn’t face him. He doesn’t think he can even now, but he doesn’t have a choice.

 

Yoongi almost reluctantly pulls into their shared driveway, he wonders for a moment what it would be like with a third car added to the mix.

 

Yoongi slowly opens the front door, feeling the cold apartment sweep deep into his bones. It’s dark, but Yoongi knows Namjoon is in here, he sees his shoes and saw his car parked outside.

 

Yoongi closes the door tightly behind him before taking off his shoes. He makes his way to their room. All the lights are off so he keeps them off, but he finds their room light to be on. Yoongi slowly enters, watching Namjoon look up at him in shock from their bed. He had his phone in his hand, but quickly drops it on the bed and stands up after spotting Yoongi. He’s no longer wearing his work clothes, instead wearing comfortable clothes.

 

“You’re here.” Namjoon almost seems shocked, which confuses Yoongi.

“I told you I wasn’t going back to work.” Yoongi doesn’t move from the doorway. He wants to sit next to Namjoon, but he’s almost scared. He doesn’t know what his boyfriend has been thinking about. He knows what he wants, but he doesn’t know what Namjoon wants yet.

“I mean,” Namjoon blinks at Yoongi. “You came back to me.”

“I never left.” Yoongi isn’t sure why Namjoon is sounding like they broke up in that hospital room. “Why wouldn’t I be here? I said I would meet you at the house.”

“You weren’t here when I got home.”

“I was taking a detour.” Yoongi adds the next line more silently. “I needed to think.”

“About us?”

“About a plan.” Yoongi clarifies. “On how to get you another sub.”

 

It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn’t a lie. He was thinking about it briefly.

 

“Yoongi,” Namjoon looks away from his boyfriend, and Yoongi is scared Namjoon is going to break up with him then and there, that Namjoon means more to Yoongi than Yoongi means more to him.

But the dom doesn’t, and Yoongi is silently grateful. “I don’t want another sub.”

“But your body does.” Yoongi points out. “And you can’t ignore it. It can really hurt you Joonie.”

 

Namjoon sighs, still not looking at Yoongi. The sub then decides now would be a good time to approach him, so he does. He takes a few steps forward, standing in front of his boyfriend.

 

“I love you and I’m willing to do anything to make this work.” Yoongi tells him honestly. “I don’t want to be the reason why you’re hurting.”

 

Namjoon shakes his head but he doesn’t speak, a gesture Yoongi knows too well. The sub sits on the bed beside Namjoon before putting a hand on his shoulder.

 

“It’s not going to be easy.” Yoongi tells him softly. “But you aren’t alone through this, we’ll figure things out.”

 

Namjoon lets out a sob and Yoongi wraps his arms around his boyfriend tightly. Namjoon hugs back just as tightly, letting out another sob into Yoongi’s work shirt. Yoongi rubs his back through it, feeling his shirt dampen but he doesn’t pay any mind to it.

 

“I don’t want another sub.” Namjoon’s voice cracks through his tears. “I only want you.”

 

Me too. But he doesn’t say it out loud. He’s scared he’ll come off as discouraging and Namjoon won't seek another one.

 

“I know,” Yoongi almost whispers. “But it’s hurting you, I’m not enough.”

“Don’t say that.” Namjoon sniffles, pulling away from Yoongi to look at him properly. “You are more than enough.”

 

Obviously not. But he doesn’t say that either.

 

“Then let me help you.” Yoongi pleads. “Those supplements won’t last forever. You need to find someone else quickly.”

Namjoon’s gaze saddens at Yoongi’s request. “I wouldn’t be comfortable with anyone else.”

“Maybe not at first, but after hanging out a few times and starting off slow, you’ll get the hang of it.” Yoongi gives a small smile. “That’s how you got stuck with me.”

“I don’t want this person to be the same as it is with you.” Namjoon is shaking his head again. “I hate how we have to do this.”

“It will be good for you,” Yoongi reminds him. “You’ll warm up to it after feeling how satisfied you are after your scenes with them.”

“I don’t want to do scenes alone with them.” Namjoon looks at Yoongi desperately. “I want you to be there too.”

 

Yoongi holds Namjoon’s gaze for a few moments. He was hoping Namjoon would ask for him to partake in scenes, he would hate not being included in any intimate moments Namjoon would have with someone else. But part of him is worried that the other person might feel excluded.

 

We’ll have to talk a lot beforehand, all of us together.

 

“Of course I’ll be there.” Yoongi gives him a soft smile. “I told you, you aren’t alone in this.”

 

But Namjoon doesn’t smile. The tears have stopped and his voice is now stronger than it was, but softer than it usually is.

 

“You didn’t sign up for this.” Namjoon whispers. “I don’t deserve you.”

 

Yoongi brings his hand to cup Namjoon’s face, making him look at him.

 

“You are my world, Joonie. I would do anything for you.” Yoongi tells him honestly. “This isn’t your fault, we’ll figure something out.”

 

For the first time today, Namjoon seems a bit calmer. It reduces Yoongi’s anxiety, but it doesn’t go away completely.

 

Yoongi plants a sweet kiss on Namjoon’s lips. It’s sweet, but quick. Something he hopes puts some of his worries to ease. The moment his lips come into contact with Namjoon’s, he feels his boyfriend relax, causing Yoongi to relax in turn. He hates how he has to pull away so soon, but he knows he needs to talk to the dom without any distractions.

 

“Do you know where you want to start looking?” Yoongi says it softly, but the darkness surrounds Namjoon’s features again at the reminder.

“We could try scene apps.” Namjoon suggests. “I don’t know how else we would be able to find someone desperate enough to join our situation.”

“That’s true.” Yoongi was hoping they would avoid scene apps altogether, but Namjoon has a point. It’s not like they have any friends looking for friends with benefits.

 

Yoongi adjusts himself so that he’s side hugging Namjoon, pulling out his phone.

 

“Well, I guess it’s never too late to start looking.” Yoongi tries to put a lightness to his tone, but deep inside he can’t help but feel dread as he presses the “download” button on the first scene app.

 

──────────────

 

Yesterday was a very long night for Yoongi. Not only had their evening consisted of finding Namjoon another sub as soon as possible, but Yoongi couldn’t sleep at all due to the ringing thoughts clouding his mind.

 

So what if I’m not good enough? I might as well make myself useful.

 

It’s not easy trying to find a sub who would want to split the attention between another partner. It’s only been one night and Yoongi is already close to giving up.

 

He walks into the office, almost dragging his feet as he walks to the team room. As he walks in, he notices Hoseok is already working hard on his laptop, so hard that he doesn’t notice Yoongi walk in until the door is closed.

 

“Hi.” Hoseok looks up, his bright expression dampening. “What happened to you?”

“Long story.” Yoongi sighs before sitting down across from his colleague. He really doesn’t want to discuss this right now. He would prefer to get back home and solve their issue as soon as possible.

“Noted.” Hoseok looks back at his laptop. “I was able to get quite a bit done yesterday, you should be pleased.”

 

Yoongi opens his laptop before clicking on the files he was working on yesterday.

 

Only to find out, they have been completed.

 

“You completed my files?”

“And my own.” Hoseok gives him a smile. “I assumed you had enough on your plate, and a little overtime never hurt anyone.”

 

Yoongi blinks at Hoseok, he wonders why anyone would want to work so hard for a company who doesn’t pay attention to subs at all.

 

“Thank you, this does make things easier.”

Hoseok smiles brighter. “I made a list of things we should get done today, hopefully that’s okay.”

 

Yoongi pulls up the list, reading it carefully.

 

“It looks good.”

 

Hoseok nods before he starts to type on his computer. Yoongi is still trying to open up files to start his day, but his mind is still caught on finding another sub for Namjoon.

 

He was hoping it would be easier for them, he hoped that there would be subs desperate enough to throw themselves at Namjoon’s feet even if he had another sub that he was already in a romantic relationship with. It’s not like Yoongi didn’t consent, Namjoon isn’t cheating or anything.

 

“I hope your boyfriend is okay.”

“What?” Yoongi is snapped from his thoughts, looking at Hoseok in surprise.

“Your boyfriend was the one who called you yesterday before you left in a hurry, right?” Hoseok blinks at him. “Unless you have someone else called “love” with a million hearts-”

“It was him,” Yoongi clears his throat. “And he’s fine.” For now.

“I’m glad.” Hoseok flashes him a smile. “If there’s any way I can help, just let me know.”

 

Yoongi is about to thank him for the thoughtless gesture, especially where they don’t know each other very well, but he freezes.

 

Because Hoseok, a sub, is currently in between doms. Something he can’t be without for long.

 

And Hoseok has flirted with Yoongi in the past, which means he’s interested in Yoongi in some way, right?

 

“Actually, there is something that you might be able to help with.”

Hoseok looks up from his laptop curiously. “Sure, what is it?”

 

It almost seems too easy, but if he were to be rejected Yoongi doesn’t know how he would be able to face Hoseok ever again.

 

Regardless, he needs to try. For Namjoon.

 

“Do you want to sub for my boyfriend?”