Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tony was trying to be fine with everything, really he was. 

The so-called Rogue Avengers, Wanda, Nat, Sam, and Cap were all back, having brokered a deal with the government for clemency. The four of them (and Vision because where Wanda went, he went) were now essentially government gophers, having to respond when Secretary Ross called on them, but none of them seemed to mind. If anything, three of them already knew how to deal with a government agency and Wanda, well, she listened when it came to Nat, Sam, and Cap.

So they were back, which meant they were living at the Compound. And Tony really tried avoiding going there. Maybe the government and general public had forgiven them, but Tony hadn’t forgiven Cap. How could he when those images of Barnes choking the life out of his mother still haunted him? He didn’t hate Barnes, the guy was brainwashed, unable to control his actions. No, Barnes was just as much a victim. But Cap? Cap knew exactly what he was doing. He had made a decision to keep that information from Tony, all while preaching they were a team.

Well that team didn’t have Iron Man and Cap didn’t have his forgiveness. And yet somehow, he kept ending up at the Compound. 

Maybe it was because Rhodey was there a lot, acting as the go between between Ross and the team. He could ignore calls from Cap and Nat, but if Rhodey called, well Tony was there because it was Rhodey. Rhodey stuck by him during his worst moments, he could handle a few trips to the Compound for his oldest friend. 

On one of those trips, he had made the ill-fated decision of bringing Peter. And it took Natasha Romanov, expert spy, all of two seconds to deduce that the overly talkative teenager who worked closely with Tony Stark was also the kid behind the mask of their overly talkative ally Spider-Man. Tony had dragged Peter out of there before anyone could say anything. And by anyone, Tony meant Cap because he was certain Mister Truth and Justice would have something to say about it.

But the comments never came. In fact, the team seemed interested in knowing more about Peter and his abilities. And as much as Tony wanted to shield Peter from people he felt like he couldn’t trust, the kid loved it. And why wouldn’t he? He was a kid from Queens who had grown up watching the Avengers save his city, leading him to don a onesie and save the city in his own way. 

So, Tony was trying to be fine, to the point that he had actually popped a stitch in the pocket of a pair of slacks, having shoved his hands in so roughly trying to look casual and not like he was two steps away from losing it on the one person he couldn’t help but hate.

Until it all went too far. 

“Captain Rogers?” Peter refused to call Cap anything but that, even though he had been corrected multiple times. And if Tony had been in a joking mood, he would’ve teased the kid about it. But he was never in a joking mood when Cap was around. No, when it came to Cap, Tony was in a ‘say the wrong thing and you’re going to find out’ kind of mood.

“What’s up Queens?” They were in the training room because Natasha pointed out that Peter’s fighting could use some improvement if he was going to keep protecting Queens. And yeah, Tony couldn’t disagree with that. He was certain the kid had gotten by on his enhanced abilities and some online videos and fighting basics. They had just finished up, everyone filtering out of the gym except Tony, Rhodey, Peter, and Cap.

Everything about Cap’s interactions with Peter drove him crazy. They were both city kids, talking about their respective boroughs, even though Cap hadn’t lived in Brooklyn in seventy years. He got to tell Peter that powers didn’t make him a hero but rather who he was before those powers. He got to be this symbol of good and Tony couldn’t blame Peter for thinking Cap was so great. After all, he hadn’t given him any reason to think otherwise. Peter didn’t know what happened after the airport battle. And Tony could be selfish and could crack Cap’s perfect exterior, but could he really do that to Peter? Could he really tell this kid who had wormed his way into Tony’s inner circle such an earth-shattering truth?

No, the kid didn’t deserve that. All of this was to make him better, at least that’s how Peter saw it. And Tony liked the kid too much to take that away from him. 

“What was the whole serum thing like?” Peter asked. Cap raised an eyebrow at that. “I mean, I just was curious because in history they just say that you were given this serum and you, you know, became Captain America. But with my spider bite, it wasn’t immediate, you know? I felt really weird, like I was getting sick and then I woke up and boom.”

Cap chuckled and Peter looked a little embarrassed by his rambling. Most of the time, Tony found the rambling charming. The kid could talk forever and often it was exactly what Tony needed, to turn the rest of the world off and listen to the kid.

“Well it actually was pretty immediate,” Cap said, tossing Peter a water bottle. Peter caught it deftly, listening attentively. “This scientist had essentially selected me for this experiment.”

“Dr. Erskine, right?” Peter asked. Cap looked impressed by that reaction and Peter shrugged. “I go to a STEM high school, Captain Rogers. I know all about Dr. Erskine’s work on the super soldier serum.” Cap nodded, smiling a bit, and Tony pressed his fists deeper into his pockets. Rhodey noticed, leaning towards him. 

“You know I can distract Cap if you wanna get Peter out of here.” Tony glanced at his friend, who offered him a comforting smile.

“It’s fine,” Tony grumbled. “I’m sure the kid will wrap up the conversation soon. He wanted me to look at something to do with his suit in the lab.” Rhodey nodded, pursing his lips in the way he did before he said something serious. 

“You know that kid looks up to you more than anyone else here.” Tony huffed out a breath, looking away from Rhodey back to where Peter was standing. In that moment, with the way he was talking to Cap, it didn’t really look like that.

“Dr. Erskine was a good man.” Tony turned his attention back to Peter and Cap’s conversation, not bothering to voice his thoughts aloud to Rhodey. After all, based on Rhodey’s expression, he was pretty sure his friend already knew exactly what he was thinking. “But his collaboration with Stark, Howard Stark that is, really solidified the work he had spent years on.”

“Oh.” Tony noticed Peter glance over at him, an almost unsure look on his face. It occurred to him that Peter had never asked him anything about his father, which was fine by him, but he did go to a genius school. He was sure Peter had heard the name Howard Stark more than a few times. But the kid had never once asked about him. It was almost like he knew it was a road Tony didn’t want to go down. 

“Howard was a smart guy.” Tony just crossed his arms over his chest, feeling his blood start to boil. “A little out there sometimes, but smart as you could be. He was a good man.”

“Are you kidding me?” He couldn’t contain it anymore, finally hitting that boiling point. 

“Tony.” He could tell Rhodey was trying to keep him calm, but Tony couldn’t stay calm. He couldn’t keep his mouth shut when it came to Captain Hypocrite.

“No, I refuse to listen to this anymore,” Tony said, moving towards where Peter and Cap were standing. “I refuse to listen to the crap that you’re spewing, Cap. My dad was a good guy? You knew him for what, a year?”

“It’s enough to judge someone’s character,” Cap said, giving Tony a look. 

“Is it now?” Tony asked with a humorless laugh. “You think because he helped make the super soldier serum that that makes him good? You think that makes him such a good guy? You didn’t know him. I spent years with that man, being told just how stupid and worthless I was, being put down every chance he got. I graduated early, not to be some boy genius, but to get the hell away from my dad. He wasn’t a good guy. He was a bastard and a drunk who got murdered by your brainwashed buddy. So don’t you dare stand here and tell me what you think of him when you didn’t even have the guts to tell me the truth about what happened to him and my mother.”

And then Tony was storming out of the room.

He kept moving until he found himself in the lab, dragging a hand down his face, trying to calm his rapid breathing. He had tried so hard to keep it together, to keep those ugly feelings to himself. He had tried so hard to keep it all together, for Peter’s sake. The kid didn’t need to see him like that. 

“Mister Stark.” He turned, seeing Peter standing at the door of the lab, looking a bit unsure. “Can I…can I come in?”

“Yeah kid,” Tony said, taking a seat on a stool. “You know you don’t have to ask about entering the lab.”

“I know,” Peter said, tentatively walking in. “I just thought you might want a moment alone. You were…you were really mad at Captain Rogers.” Tony shook his head, dragging his hands down his face. “I’m sorry Mister Stark.”

“What?” Tony looked up, surprised by Peter’s words. 

“I’m sorry that I’ve been spending any time with Captain Rogers,” Peter said, walking towards Tony. “You just made it seem like it was fine, like everything was okay between you and the others.”

“Peter.” But the kid, ever the talker, kept going.

“And your dad, I didn’t…” Peter’s face was mournful, like he was carrying the weight of pain that he didn’t deserve. “I’m so sorry Mister Stark.”

“Yeah well,” Tony sighed, rolling his shoulders back to reduce some of the tension that was creeping through him. “Sometimes the scars we can't see are the ones that hurt the most."

“Mister Stark…” Peter was clearly fumbling for words, for something to say. But Tony just shook his head. 

“My dad was not a good guy,” Tony said. “Smart? Business savvy? Sure. But he wasn’t a good guy and he certainly wasn’t a good father.”

“You didn’t deserve that.” Tony shook his head, ready to argue that it wasn’t about what was deserved, but Peter continued on. “Mister Stark, you’ve been nothing but kind to me. You built me a new suit, took me under your wing, let me come to your lab and the Compound. You didn’t have to do any of that. And yet you did. You had a horrible dad and yet you…”

Tony couldn’t help but stare at Peter, a little awed by his statement. He couldn’t believe how this kid, this kid with so much goodness, could see so much good in him. 

Tony could only stand, pulling Peter into a hug. 

“Thanks kid.” He felt Peter’s arms tighten around him and he rested his chin on the kid’s head. 

“Anytime Mister Stark.”