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Where the hell were the borderlands, exactly? Neither Wade nor Logan really knew. They had been aimlessly walking in the vague direction of Somewhere for quite a while now. The silence was driving Wade crazy, but the Wolverine wasn't much of a conversationalist.
"Think we're close?" he said, just to say something.
"Maybe." Logan answered. He yawned, like the mere sound of Wade's voice tired him out.
Hold up?
As Logan had opened his mouth to yawn, Wade had been looking at him, and in that brief moment, the possibly-afternoon-but-it-was-hard-to-say-what-time-it-was sun overhead had glinted off of something. Something white. Something pointy.
Wade stopped walking. "What was that?" he asked.
Logan stopped, too, looking around and sniffing the air, hoping there wasn't some new horrible thing about to give him an additional pain in the ass in this shithole dimension. "What was what?"
As he spoke, Wade watched closely. Holy shit. In the chaos that had ensued since his retrieval of the Worst Wolverine, between the evil British people and the ass-kickings, Wade hadn't really gotten a moment to notice what he was seeing now.
"Wait, wait, waitwaitwaitwait," he said, "Put a sock in it for a second. Do you have fucking teeth in your mouth?"
Not that Wilson had been coherent for more than a minute at a time since he'd walked into Logan's life, but the Wolverine couldn't even begin to follow this particular nonsense.
"What the fuck kind of question is that?"
"I mean...those!" Wade stuck his index fingers up and dangled them in front of the approximate location where his mouth would be under his mask, wiggling them for emphasis. "You've got little fuckin' Draculas in there!"
Oh. His fangs.
Logan looked away and tightened his jaw. He hated when people noticed. He'd been trying to file the stupid things down for as long as he could remember, but they always grew back, and capping them off with Adamantium would only have drawn more attention.
"Fuck off."
"No, now I have to know. Are you the only Wolverine with werewolf teeth?!"
"What?"
"None of the other Logans I interviewed for your position had those. At least, I don't think they did, but most of them tried to kill me on sight, so I didn't get a good look at the chompers."
"Hmh." Good to know his were a special gift, Logan thought. Fucking peachy. Worst Wolverine, indeed.
Wade watched his brow furrow so deeply it threatened to add new lines to his forehead, and he could swear he saw the faintest hint of red twinging the Wolverine's cheeks.
Is he...embarrassed?
"Can I see 'em again?"
"Fuck. Off."
Oh my god, he's embarrassed.
Logan shot eye-daggers even sharper than his claws, and his lip started to curl the way it did every time Wade got on his fucking nerves, but he quickly dropped the expression before giving the freak another peek into his mouth.
That's so fucking cute.
"Come on! They're sick as fuck! The Logan in my universe didn't even have those. You don't want to know how I confirmed that."
He was backed into a corner, Logan thought. Deadpool was not going to drop this topic until he got what he wanted, and if he kept avoiding it, he'd let on that this was a point of weakness, and that was the absolute last thing he wanted Wade to know about him. "If I let you look, will you shut the fuck up about it?"
Wade crossed his heart. "I prommy."
Ugh. Logan quickly gave him a silent snarl, displaying the top and bottom rows of teeth as broadly as he could, hoping a large eyeful would appease the idiot. The fangs clicked together as he shut his mouth. "Happy now?"
Hopping up and down like a giddy schoolgirl, Wade clapped politely and nodded his head.
This Logan had just decisively claimed the title of Most Attractive Wolverine.
******