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Their lives are different now.
They go to the Manchester farm to celebrate holidays and birthdays, not to strategize. They sit together with beers rather than file folders. They smile and laugh and no one even thinks about politics for more than a few minutes.
Josh and Toby have settled on the porch stairs, nursing their final beers of the night. They’re quiet and still, both of their attention more on the two women sitting in the grass than each other.
Donna’s belly is round and full and any day now, the Lymans will be welcoming their first born. Toby’s already promised Josh he’ll keep his ringer on for the next few months. He knows how hard it is to be a new father.
He can hardly believe it’s been five years since Abigail was born. She was so tiny back then. Now she folds her long legs up so she can sit in her mother’s lap. She pulls blades of grass from the ground and giggles as the wind blows them away. She pats Donna’s belly and promises to be the perfect cousin to the little boy, even though she was hoping it would be a girl.
Toby can hear CJ’s laugh from the porch and it makes him smile. There were times where he wasn’t sure he’d ever hear her laugh again. Times when people were shooting at them or they were sniping at each other or the job was weighing her down so much he wasn’t sure the light would ever return to her eyes. It’s all different now. She’s grown out her hair and she smiles every time Abigail speaks. She plans family beach days and packs lunches and kicks ass at the Hollis Foundation. They go on date nights and shower together every morning. He makes up for lost time and worships every inch of her body he can touch.
Josh sits up a bit, turning to look at Toby. “What was your first thought when you first met her?”
Toby chuckles and takes a slow sip from his beer before setting the bottle down on the porch. “I remember thinking, ‘God, I’m stupid.’ ”
Toby doesn’t need to look over at Josh to feel the confused look on his face.
“I spent all this time thinking love was so…complicated. That it was something that happened despite all the shit in the world that tries to stop it. That it was something that had to be battled for and won. I just thought it was so complex,” Toby chuckles, as if that line of thinking is the most absurd thing he’s ever heard. “And then I met her and I realized that…it’s not.”
Toby glances at Josh for a moment, mostly to ensure that he’s following, before looking out at his wife again. “Sometimes, love is just…there. I looked at her and I saw the rest of my life. I looked at her and I knew I would love her if I never saw her again and I would love her if I saw her every day for the rest of eternity. I loved her before I even knew her name.”
It’s the most un-Toby thing Josh thinks he’s ever heard. And yet somehow, it’s certainly the most Toby thing Josh has ever heard.
They sit in the moment, both looking out at their girls and wondering - not for the first time - what they had done to get so lucky.
And when the moment’s almost passed, when the bubble has nearly popped, Josh speaks. “The first time I met her, I heard the J in her name and wondered if it stood for Joanie.”
Toby’s hand is on his shoulder, squeezing just slightly. He doesn’t have to say anything, they both just…feel it.
Their lives are different now. They’re family.