Chapter Text
After a good few days, trickling into a great few months, Boyfriend had grown more than comfortable with the accustomed pleasantries, chaos, and fun that ensued when he let his heart and soul become engrossed in the city of Funktion, Newgrounds. The city was his—his home! He felt confident wherever he stepped—as long as he stepped in his city.
He knew he was overzealous, loud, and way too cocky for his own good sometimes, but it was him. His personality, his character, what everyone knew him by. He was that way with friend and foe alike. So when that was different, it tended to raise some brows.
Currently, he was sweating bullets as he haphazardly tried and failed to get a red bow situated around his neck. Boyfriend grumbled at himself in the mirror, letting a colorful flow of words float around in his head as he glared daggers at the crooked bowtie. If he took in more of his appearance, he’d scowl at another stray wrinkle found on his white suit, souring his mood further as that was the third time he had tried ironing the damn thing.
He sighed, biting down hard on his lip as he pushed his palms deep into his eyelids. He mumbled a curse, over and over again, until he willed himself to feel better. It wasn’t by much. Eventually, he heaved out another heavy sigh, running his hands up to curl tight clumps of his blue hair.
“Relax.” He said. “Relax.”
“In and out. In and out” He exhaled. “You got this. Just another day, like every day. No biggie,” He smiled tensely into the mirror, “no pressure.”
Who was he kidding? It wasn’t just another day! It wasn’t anything like the typical normal procedure of his life! He was having dinner. A fancy dinner at a fancy restaurant with his Girlfriend’s fancy, rich parents. But he'd eaten with them before. It wasn’t the most pleasant experience but he did it. It was no big deal. Shouldn’t be. Yet it was—because things were different. This time his parents were coming. And good God, Lord only knew what a piece of work they could be.
He could deal with the Dearest family anytime, he knew he could! He’s done it before multiple times. Hell, he was even willing to have dinner with just his parents and Girlfriend alone. But the universe was spiteful. So damn spiteful!
Dearest overheard them like he always did. What was originally a suggestion for him to take Girlfriend to meet his parents became a “whole thing” as Dearest barged in with his weasley smile and demanded he and Mearest meet them as well, saying something about wanting to explore the roots or some other creepy bullshit like that. And he was, of course, forced to relay the news to his parents about the restaurant booking for that very same Friday. Ironic.
To say he was nervous was an understatement. Both his parents were very…opinionated. He was a mix of both worlds—well a 75/25 percent mix as he adopted a decent chunk of his genes from his mother rather than his father, physically and behaviorally. That was both a good thing and a bad thing. Knowing how he himself could get, Boyfriend knew damn well what he was in store for with his mother. He could be as pleasant and civil as ever if wanted to, and so could his mother…if she wanted to. However, on days when he was at his angriest, his mother could take his anger, multiply it, and make the world tremble under her wrath. And that was enough to get the point across. Boyfriend had enough middle-school mishaps to know exactly what he wanted to avoid with his upcoming date.
Meanwhile, his father was milder than his mother—a bit boring even. Unfortunately, his father took his mother’s side 99% of the time, and while Boyfriend found him to be more quiet and awkward during the occasions when the two were squashed together, there were a handful of times when his dad didn’t take too much nonsense.
This would surely go only two ways: terribly wrong or pleasantly decent. The latter wasn’t looking too promising.
Just when he had managed to catch his breath, tiptoeing away from the edge that descended into despair, a loud knock reverberated through his hall echoing from the door. Boyfriend nearly choked himself to death. He snapped his head to the door and then whipped it to his phone. It was early. Too early! He wasn’t ready! He paled and scrambled to smooth his suit down before awkwardly huddling over to the door as another three, angry bangs rattled the doorframe.
“Uh, yeah! I’m coming, give me a minute!” He shouted back, hurriedly. If he was in a better headspace, maybe he would’ve caught onto a glaring detail that would’ve clued him in on the coming events to play. Like how the door bang was a little too aggressive and how there was a distinct lack of a familiar, vernacular cadence calling for him.
He gave a few loose spikes of hair a quick pluck and his red bowtie one last resentful tug before heaving out a sigh, closing his eyes, and clicking the door unlock. Ever so patiently, he awaited his doom.
“Hey, Ma–” he started, pushing the door open before snapping his mouth shut when he saw multiple people in front of him.
“Sheesh,” Boyfriend blinked stupidly when he was met face first with orange hair, the other boy’s gaze lowered with the typical sardonic delight of an asshole, reaching over to idly poke and prod at his chest with an intrusive finger. “You’re a bit overdressed, don’t ya think?”
“Yeah, dude.” Another voice butted in, and Boyfriend whipped around in horror to find a taller entity, lip pursed and head tilted in a way that it was hard to tell if he was perplexed or underwhelmed. “What the hell are you wearing?”
Boyfriend sputtered as embarrassment immediately sunk its hateful claws in, smacking Pico’s finger away as he exchanged incredulous glances between his gang—every single one of them was there! Pico and Agoti with their irritating and smug conducts. Hex with his usual smile, gelling a little more curious compared to the duo of cheesy grins Skid and Pump sprouted as they pointed and giggled at him. Whitty and Aldyx gave almost identical bored stances—if not for the intrigued brow Whitty had half-heartedly thrown up. And both Ruv and alas Tabi pinned him with uninterested, borderline impatient looks (though that was more on the latter’s end).
“What the hell are you doing here!” Boyfriend hissed in a voice that was a bit too sharp for even him to take and he found himself grimacing with the rest of his group.
Whitty’s voice cut in, flat and unimpressed, “Uh, hanging out?”
“What?” Boyfriend blinked in confusion.
“Movie night. Remember? You invited us?" Pico drawled in a mockingly deliberate way as if Boyfriend was stupid (which he kind of was, to some extent). One thoughtful pause later, Pico’s words had enough time to settle in his mind. Boyfriend found himself freezing in place just as a mischievous smirk played across Pico’s lips. The jerk wasn’t even trying to hide his amusement. “Forgot again, didn’t you?"
He had forgotten. He had forgotten all about them.
“Shit.” He muttered, rubbing his hands across his face, allowing Pico’s last teasing comment to slide under the radar. He was already on limited time and he already had his eyes set on how he wanted this night to go—at least start. This was not included. He let out a frustrated groan, “Damn it.”
“What’s wrong with you?” Boyfriend startled at Whitty’s voice and was promptly subjected to an uncomfortable sinking feeling in his gut as he looked back to find a bunch of half-curious, half-scrutinizing eyes on him. He quickly realized his mistake and jumped to correct it.
“Who me? Nothing!” He said, wincing at the crack in his voice and the brows it garnered. He coughed into his hand, lowering his voice, nice and smooth. “Nothing’s wrong.”
A heavy silence hung in the air after his response. And if that wasn't enough, the exchanged glances and raised eyebrows from his companions made their disbelief unmistakably clear to him. By now, Boyfriend was acutely aware of the impending disregard his group would take for his embarrassing attempt at a lie. He had just a moment to salvage the situation for his little blunder—that was until Skid, of all people, pointed a finger and, with the happiest grin he’d ever seen, declared, “Liar!”
Like the traitors they were, his group snickered. Whitty had the nerve to rub salt further into the wound by patting the younger’s head and additionally praising him with a proud, “There you go, call him out!”
“Pants on fire!” Agoti chimed in, barking out a laugh.
Boyfriend bit his lip and seethed.
“Oh for the love of—” He sucked in a sharp breath and pinched his nose, turning to brandish them with an annoyed glare. “Get in here! Now!”
Fortunately, Boyfriend was able to usher the group in fairly easily as, for once, no one attempted to fight him. They entered Boyfriend’s house only expressing their annoyance and grief through mumbled comments under their breath as he may have been a bit too harsh with some of his shoves. He’d apologize later (if he remembered).
Before anyone could complain further, Boyfriend peaked around the door anxiously, checking the outside area and every single ominous corner nearby. When the cost was clear, he pushed the door closed, leaning against it like it was his lifeline as he willed some type of pressure to minimize his growing stress.
“Okay, look guys,” he sighed, resigning to level with his gang honestly, “I can’t hang today; we gotta reschedule.”
“Ugh, why?” Agoti spoke first, groaning rather petulantly. And from afar he heard, “Better be something good,” mumbled from Pico most likely.
“Guys,” He stressed, giving another harsh tug and a nasty glare to his red bowtie, “I have like a dinner with Girlfriend, okay?”
A simultaneous groan reverberated from the group. Among the chorus of complaints came a series of protests: "Come on," "Aww," and a sarcastic "Should've known" chimed in by Pico. A not-so-discreet mutter of “Knew we shouldn’t’ve come,” had Boyfriend’s head snapping away to briefly shift his glare from the stubborn bowtie directly towards Tabi, who was unfortunately not looking at him to see it.
Suppressing any smoldering hostility, Boyfriend recentered his focus on the more pressing matter at hand (like his stupid bowtie), realizing that it demanded his attention far more urgently than petty bickering.
“Look, I don't wanna hear it!” He snapped, repressing the urge to drill his foot into the ground. “It’s not like I want to do this today either!”
The comment pulled the complaints to a screeching halt and Boyfriend found himself eyeing his group suspiciously when their annoyances were quelled to evident intrigue.
“Oh?” Came Pico’s voice and Boyfriend turned to narrow his eyes at him, immediately distrusting the lilt to his voice. “Well, that’s a first. Seeing as you just love spending time with her.”
“Key word is her!” Boyfriend spat with more bite than he intended. There was a sense of defensiveness poking under his skin that had caught him off guard. Yet, something about Pico’s comment irked him more than usual. Perhaps he was just being overly sensitive and aggressive, perceiving some sort of nastier negativity in Pico’s words that most likely wasn’t even there (at least nothing beyond the usual teasing). Or he could just sum it all up to being stressed and dumb—oh, so very dumb. Either way, he couldn’t help but react. It felt as if he were being backed into a corner. It was almost painfully apparent to Boyfriend how close he was to losing his mind. And God, who was he if he wasn’t so damn impulsive?
Despite his heated response and bullshit anger, Pico did not take the initiative to rebut back with something sarcastic as the gang often did (rightfully) when Boyfriend was being unreasonably snappy. Instead, Pico only raised a brow. That simple gesture was all Boyfriend needed to realize he had to regain his composure. And fast! For tonight at least.
Exhaling heavily, Boyfriend mustered whatever decency he could suck out of his irritably sorry state and focused his efforts on steadying his waning patience all while easing himself back into his typical-everyday temper. The one where everyone, including himself, could at least tolerate.
“There’s other guests this time.” He admitted between his teeth, cringing under the wave of embarrassment that tugged with his words. But, he concealed it beneath an act of overblown irritation and a roll of his eyes (as casually as he could of course).
Boyfriend suspected, with a mixture of relief and wariness, that the group hadn't fully caught onto just how badly he was unraveling at the scene. Not all of them, at least. Yet, he was fully prepared to commit to the role and play pretend like it was just another day where his fuse was running just a little shorter than it normally did. The type of day where his gang would roll their eyes at his overdramatic yapping, maybe tone down the jokes a bit, and by the next day they could proceed with the normal roughhousing and teasing.
Though Boyfriend wasn’t sure how long that gig would last. Boyfriend was miserably aware that his ruse wouldn't slip past one member's discerning gaze. Unfortunately, when you have years of experience with someone, you adopt an eye that can rifle through even the most intricate acts.
While the skill wasn’t as readily lent to most of his companions, Boyfriend knew from one look alone that he was screwed.
"Other guests?" Pico parroted, slowly, eyeing Boyfriend with his infuriatingly calculating look that said “I don’t know what’s up, but I know something’s up, and I fully intend to find out what.”
It was driving Boyfriend crazy. But he decided he could still salvage the situation. Somehow.
“Yeaaah," Boyfriend replied, forcing his tone to be as deliberately slow and measured as Pico’s. After all that thinking and fantasizing about salvaging the situation, his guard resurfaced to show its ugly face.
It felt like he had just endured a major setback to his progress, another blow to the newfound confidence he had been trying to cook up. No matter how much he denied it, Pico's presence always seemed to trigger that effect in the worst of times. It was the end of the world! He knew it was!
“As in Girlfriend’s parents?” Hex's voice interjected, a welcome sound in Boyfriend's ears. He felt a near-instantaneous rush of gratitude toward Hex's robotic voice. With Hex, there was no risk of the haphazardly constructed shield wrapped around his oh-so-big feelings being inadvertently agitated. The guy was too sweet to ever trigger his “WARNING: Asshole detected!!!” senses. There were no suspicions about ulterior motives buried deep down, only to spring out at the most inconvenient of times and fuel his doubts.
Hex’s authenticity and ever-lasting patience provided a sense of predictability in a way. It was almost like a sort of stable ground that Boyfriend could tread upon even when he was behaving at maximum levels of difficulty. And that was something he could always get by.
“Oh Hexxy, it’s so much worse than that.” He whined, finding it a bit easier to slip back into something a little more light-hearted. Where he could trick himself and his gang into thinking that he wasn’t suffering internally.
“What do you mean by worse?” Whitty questioned.
“Worse as in today might be the day the universe finally smites me!” He grumbled, pushing himself off the door as he went straight back to fiddling with his bowtie again.
“Is he being dramatic again or is he actually being serious?” Boyfriend heard Aldryx speak up. He was promptly followed by a clueless hum in response from his brother.
Boyfriend ignored them both just as he ignored the prying eyes on his person as he turned to maneuver through the taller bodies. With slumped shoulders and a nagging exhaustion at his back, Boyfriend trekked back into his living room.
“I’m sure it’s not that bad, Boyfriend, you can handle this,” Hex called from behind, his voice overlapping the pairs of footsteps trailing after him.
Boyfriend couldn’t say he was surprised to hear his gang following him into his living room, he was even less surprised to find each of them making themselves comfortable on his furniture.
“You’ve done it before!” Boyfriend heard Hex add cheerfully.
Boyfriend attempted to find some solace from Hex’s words, stopping in front of his mirror to try his luck with the damn bowtie again, and replaying made-up scenarios of every possible case, good and bad, on how this date would go.
“Maybe.” He mumbled because maybe Hex was right. Maybe if he played his cards right, maybe he could finally get into Girlffriend’s parents’ good graces. Maybe the night would prove his mother would like Girlfriend. Maybe she’d even turn and fawn over Girlfriend’s identical features shared with her mother—just like features he shared with his mom. And perhaps Dearest and his father could have a nice chat about golfing, or politics, or money, or whatever old men liked. Then the night would end and his parents would embrace him with open arms and say, “We love you and completely accept your decision and taste in women.”
The thought was nice.
Boyfriend shifted his bowtie. It was left crooked on his neck. He squinted, pursing his lip, and tried again. He let himself go and began thinking again. He conjured another scenario where they sat at a table, the Demon couple hissing out something snarky, the 50th and consequently the last snarky comment of the night as his mother took it upon herself to chew them out and sass them on whatever feature she found that displeased her. He tried again. His father was shaking his head, looking over with equal disdain and judgment. —The Dearests absolutely hated his parents' guts just as they hated his. His parents decided they hated his girlfriend—BOOM! The Dearest are offended! He tried again! There’s a screaming match! He tried again. The kitchen’s on fire! It’s hot as hell and he’s sweating his life away—and, crap! Did he forget to put on deodorant? He tried again! And, what—why’s the jazz music picking up? Oh god! Are they rap battling? What the hell? Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
A loud pop tore the room as Boyfriend ripped his bowtie off like a cat ripping off an accessory their owner had choked them with for the last and final time. The silence that followed was insufferable and he was well aware of the eyes on his back. A part of him didn’t care, his mind was too occupied with hurling as many internal curse words as he’d heard his mom throw in the heat of passion.
He didn’t want to do this.
So he closed his eyes, breathed in a sigh, clasped his hands together, and turned on his heels doing a complete 180. When he opened his eyes, the scene was just as he expected. All eyes were on him. All nine of them, ranging from worried brows to intense looks of confusion.
“You know what?” He snapped his fingers, “I think I should cancel.”
Boyfriend was not expecting the chorus to follow his declaration, nor the volume, and he found himself wincing as multiple startled voices cried, “What!”
Boyfriend found it even more surprising to hear from Pico next. “Wait, why?”
“Because,” he started, waltzing over to the couch and inserting himself between Pico and the incredibly luxurious left armrest, “I don’t wanna go.”
“What the hell?” Someone shouted.
Boyfriend decided he wouldn’t give a damn. He made up his mind! His phone was out and the messenger app was already in his line of sight. He had a plan. His mom first then Girlfriend. Hopefully, with them the cancellation could swiftly and properly be notified to the other parties, leaving him with the minimum amount of wounds to lick later.
“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?” Pico shouted.
“Sitting down.” He answered back, flippantly. “So what movie are we watching?”
“Is this man for real right now?” Agoti’s voice came most prevalent out of the others’ protest of confusion. If he were petty enough, he would’ve retorted back, “Yeah, this man is for real.” Before things could spiral further, Hex reeled the chaos to a halt.
“Uh Boyfriend, I don’t think you’re taking the best approach here.” He said, carefully. “Maybe you should rethink this.”
Boyfriend grimaced but before he could even begin to defend himself, Whitty was already talking over him. “Yeah, what gives? You’ve had dinner with them before, why are you freaking out?”
“Because there are guests this time!” Boyfriend emphasized, voice straining.
“You said that already.” Pico's voice trickled in from his right.
“But it's not just her parents, dude.” He cried, grappling onto Pico’s shoulders and startling him in the process.
“Who?” Ruv’s heavy voice broke into the conversation for the first time that night. He sounded serious, a bit more so than usual.
“Yeah, who the hell are you talking about?” Pico agreed, frowning at him anxiously. “You’re freaking me out!”
“It’s mine, y'all.” He admitted, defeatedly. “My parents are coming too.”
There was calm after the statement and the room felt like it was turned on its axis as he was met with blank stares. Aldryx was the first to break the silence.
“Your parents?” He questioned.
“Yes!” Boyfriend said through gritted teeth, not understanding the sudden lack of urgency present within the group.
“Is that necessarily a bad thing?” Hex asked, offering a sympathetic smile in return.
“Yeah, what’s the fuss about?” Whitty turned to him with bewilderment.
“Are they strict?” Skid asked.
“Ooh, are they spooky like GF’s parents?” Pump promptly followed him up.
“What, no?” Boyfriend sputtered. And then, he was promptly hit with a rather intrusive memory in which one of the many middle-school moments involved his pissed-off mom and whatever poor sap was the target of her rage for the day. “Well, maybe a little, but—”
Whatever explanation he had planned promptly died on his tongue as he didn’t know exactly how much he wanted to share. However, Agoti turned with a wide grin and a spark of interest twinkling in his eyes.
“Oh, is this another storytime moment where you get into how much of a dumbass you were, and how all the trouble you left behind is now coming to bite you in the ass?” He snickered, smugly.
“There’s no story to tell, dickhead!” Boyfriend bit back.
“Really?” Agoti grinned as if he didn’t believe him at all. “Then why so anxious? You’re shitting bricks!”
“Or maybe I’m just a little nervous about the aftermath of a restaurant involving my parents and my girlfriend’s shady parents.” Boyfriend huffed back sarcastically.
“Are you worried about your parents’ safety?” Hex asked.
“What?” Boyfriend blinked in confusion. He hadn’t really thought about the possible threats looming over his parents’ backs. But when he mulled over it more, his mind went straight to something more like the building being set on fire after his mother initiated a duel of some sort with Girlfriend’s parents. “No.” He shook his head, “No, I don’t think so.”
“I just haven’t introduced them to Girlfriend,” He admitted with a sheepish shrug, “You know, Face to face.”
His gang seemed immensely surprised by the reveal. After a moment of shocked silence, Whitty finally asked, “Why?”
“Just haven’t gotten around to it?” Boyfriend lied through his teeth. His friends did not believe him. That much was evident through their narrowed eyes of skepticism. Boyfriend didn’t bother to comment on it, instead, he rambled on, attempting to find a decent justification as he went.
“And to be honest, I’d rather not have the ceiling come down on us unexpectedly. Or deal with some other stupid, huge fight that stemmed from DD or whatever other bullshit that constantly follows me.”
Boyfriend missed the look Tabi gave. In all honesty, he wasn’t even thinking about the other connotations of his words. The group looked at one another briefly before Hex spoke up again.
“I’m sure it will be fine,” Hex said, although he sounded a little more hesitant than he did prior.
Boyfriend huffed out a dry laugh. “Pfft, you haven’t met my mother.”
“What, is she Kim Kardashian or something?” Whitty asked.
“First of all, fuck you,” Boyfriend huffed, “And secondly, what you see in me is what you basically get with her!”
“So you’re a chip off the old block.” Whitty hummed in a rather flat voice.
“Sure, man, whatever.” Boyfriend shrugged, helplessly.
“I don’t believe it!” Agoti tenaciously declared. “No way there’s someone as bad, if not worse than you. I have never met anyone else who acts the way you do, especially when half the shit you spout is a mix of cursing and beeping anyway.”
Boyfriend glowered at Agoti for what he perceived as a less than generous, overblown, borderline slander of himself. But perhaps there was some truth to his statement.
“Fine! Maybe it's more give or take with her but I didn’t exactly learn my vocabulary from Sesame Street!”
“No?” Agoti snorted, “So if it wasn’t Cookie Monster, was it the Animal Crossing Villagers?”
Boyfriend's sneer deepened as a prickling irritation itched persistently at his back, leaving him more perturbed than he cared to admit. His patience was wearing thin again, and Agoti's abrasiveness was not helping him at all!
“Oh, piss off!” Boyfriend snapped, “All you need to know is that my parents, specifically my mom, plus Girlfriend’s parents are not going to end well! So to keep the restaurant from going 6ft under, and more importantly me sane, I’m going to cancel the date or whatever and we can all go on with our lives happily.”
“But then aren’t you just gonna have to set up another meeting somewhere later down the line?” Whitty said, reasonably. “And I doubt Dearest will have a change of heart in the meantime.”
“Yeah, he’s going to be just as shitty as he would be tonight,” Pico offered his input, “And then we’ll have to listen to you go on and on about that shit forever.”
“And not a single person wants to hear any of that,” Aldryx mumbled as if he was already exasperated by the idea.
“Exactly, thank you!” Pico praised.
Boyfriend narrowed his eyes at the three, resenting them all for providing him with the logic he did not want to hear. He was desperately racking his brain for some sort of rebuttal when Hex chimed in.
“Yeah,” Hex nodded agreeably. “I think this dinner will be good for you. You should go, Boyfriend.”
“Ha!” Boyfriend barked out a laugh. “You must be joking? There’s no way you’re serious. Did everyone just forget that one time I had dinner with Girlfriend’s parents where somebody allowed two kids to ram DD’s car in the restaurant?”
“He’s talking about us!” Skid said with a proud grin in Pump’s direction who giggled gleefully in response. Pico facepalmed as grimaces of varying intensity rippled through, Whitty, Hex, and Ruv.
“Um, what?” Agoti asked, his confusion evidently mirrored in both his brother and Tabi.
“I’ll tell you later,” Whitty whispered to him.
“I’ll take that as a no,” Boyfriend grumbled as he eyed Whitty suspiciously. (He wondered what exactly was going to be shared in that inevitable storytime to three; he hoped it was nothing that would make him look too stupid).
“Well, that certainly wasn’t the most ideal dinner, but think of it this way, your parents will be here, and because of that, tonight will likely go much differently,” Hex said.
“Yeah, down the gutter,” Boyfriend grunted.
“Stop that,” Hex chided. “Tonight will be A-okay. It might even go perfectly well— I don’t know, something might surprise you!”
“Are you kidding?” Boyfriend scoffed, and in his stress, he had taken to jumping to his feet and pacing a little as he spoke. “Perfectly well? I can’t even get the damn bowtie around my neck.” he huffed, gesturing towards the item which lay discarded on the floor where he threw it. “I’m pretty sure this suit’s allergic to not having wrinkles, my hair won’t stay straight, and once again I can’t stand fucking bowties!”
“BF, if you don’t chill out,” Pico grumbled from his spot on the couch.
“That’s what I’m saying!” Agoti concurred in an exhausted voice.
“What they mean to say is you just have to take a deep breath,” Hex supplied for them, just as Boyfriend was about to snap back at the two. “Your suit and your hair look fine.”
“Eh,” Pico scoffed.
“Take a moment to calm down,” Hex resumed before Boyfriend could be tempted to bicker with Pico, “If you already expect the night to go bad, how can it go anyway but so?”
Boyfriend looked to the floor, humming doubtfully as he mulled over Hex’s words.
“There’s a lot of good that could come from this,” Hex insisted, and Boyfriend blinked up in surprise to find the robot rising from his seat to walk off into the distance. Boyfriend realized he was retrieving the bowtie.
“Besides, I’m sure Girlfriend’s excited to finally meet your parents,” Hex said, approaching Boyfriend after he had gently picked up the red bowtie from the floor.
“I don’t know…” Boyfriend admitted, quietly, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck as Hex reached over to situate the bowtie onto him with perfect ease. Boyfriend was utterly speechless at his efficiency. He blinked up at Hex, awestruck.
Hex smiled kindly at him. “Give it a chance.”
“I…” Boyfriend hesitated, but with a sigh he ultimately relented. “Okay, fine.”
“Yay!” Hex clapped, boasting a triumphant grin for his efforts.
“Finally, God! You’re always so indecisive.” And just like that, Pico ruined the moment (again). Boyfriend turned to scowl at him.
“I do not want to hear it from you!” Boyfriend retorted, jabbing an accusing finger Pico’s way for good measure.
“Ugh,” Pico groaned back. “You see, this is why—”
“Alright, let’s save this for later.” Hex sighed.
“Yes, let’s.” Ruv huffed, sounding a bit irritable.
Boyfriend rolled his eyes, shifting his gaze to lower at the floor as Pico took it upon himself to lean back apathetically on his couch as he lazily asked, “What time is this date anyway?”
“Nine.” Boyfriend admitted with a sigh. God, how could someone be a prick and nosy at the same time? “The restaurant’s not too far from here, my parents are gonna meet me here and we’ll drive over there together. It might take about 30 minutes or less if traffic isn’t as shit as it usually is.”
“Good luck with that,” Pico yawned and Boyfriend found himself rolling his eyes once more.
“Which restaurant are you going to?” Hex asked.
“You know that big red Italian one by the mall?”
“Yes,” Hex nodded as a thoughtful expression displayed on his screen.
“It’s that one.”
“Isn’t that place crazy expensive?” Agoti asked.
“It’s Dearest, whatever he picks is always going to be excessively pricey. “ Boyfriend said, already agonizing over the gaping hole that would soon be in his wallet, “If we had it my way, we’d be going to Olive Garden or something.”
“Olive Garden fucking sucks,” Pico spat.
“Agreed,” Ruv said.
Boyfriend gasped (in unison with Whitty) as he shot them both furious glares. “You fucking take that back!”
“No,” Pico said, defiantly. “Olive Garden is bottom of the barrel!”
“What about the breadsticks?”
“If a restaurant has one singular decent item on the menu, they are not a good restaurant!”
“Um, the soup?” Whitty chimed in, looking as affronted as Boyfriend was.
“Oh, for fucks sake!” Pico huffed. “Fine, two decent items. My point still stands!”
“Errr, it doesn’t even matter!” Boyfriend growled in frustration. “I’ll just see if they have chicken nuggets or a burger.”
“Now why the fuck would an Italian restaurant have either of those things?”
“God damn it, Pico!”
“What time are your parents coming over?” Hex hurriedly asked.
Boyfriend blinked over at him. “Um,” he tapped his chin, “like 8:20.”
“Oh, really? It’s 8:20 now.” Agoti said, eyeing his phone screen.
“It’s what now?”
Ding-dong! A loud chime echoed throughout his living room. Boyfriend went rigid as his stomach dropped to the floor. He turned and he could’ve sworn the walls were shifting and warping around him. Appearing close—too close—as if the very room was collapsing in on itself. The hallway darkened, stretching impossibly long in a dreadful line that led straight in the direction of his door. Shit!