Work Text:
“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”
Question one.
“Would you still love me if I killed a man?”
Question two.
“Would you still love me if I spilled a chocolate milkshake in your car?”
Chifuyu rolls over in his double bed and stares at the man lying next to him, eyes open wide, face blank as he stares Chifuyu dead in the eyes. The time on the alarm clock on the other side of Hanma’s head reads ‘2:00’ and Chifuyu knows instantly that it’s two in the morning, he has to work in several hours, and Hanma is still awake. “Why aren’t you asleep?”
“Uh, because we’re playing two truths and a lie?”
“No, we’re not, you should be asleep. Doesn’t your boss want you early today?”
“Maybe.” Hanma rolls over so he’s not facing Chifuyu anymore and Chifuyu sighs loudly through his nose.
Looks like he’s not going back to sleep. Not that he really was asleep before- it’s much too hot in this poorly insulated apartment without a duvet and Hanma keeping him overly warm in his bed. It’s not even half as bad as his car, though, which is constantly sticky with sweat and smells like someone left a whole carton of milk and dust in the trunk and left them to have a baby. At least the shop has air conditioning, if only to keep the animals from overheating…
Wait.
“Shuji.” Silence. “Shuji,”
“Yeah?” Hanma asks, fake sleepiness in his voice as he rolls over to face Chifuyu. The blonde feels something akin to dread and possibly rage building up inside of him.
“Shuji, did you spill a chocolate milkshake in my car?”
“You know what, now that you mention it, I might’ve done something like that,” Hanma replies with a soft half-shrug that pulls more of the duvet on his side, though whether that’s a bad thing or not, Chifuyu doesn’t notice. That dread/rage is about to become very prominent, and that’s more important than some stupid duvet, even if it was a gift from Hanma when they were still ‘dating’. “Or was it a strawberry milkshake?”
“Shuji…”
“Or banana pudding? It could’ve been banana pudding.” Now Hanma’s just sleepily mumbling into his pillow, his eyelids half-closed as he grins at Chifuyu, “Chocolate pudding, I could go for some right now, or some oven cheese,”
“Shuji-”
“- Those root beer floats we had at Luna’s birthday party the other day were pretty good too-”
“Shuji.” Chifuyu throws the duvet off his legs and circles around to Hanma’s side of the bed. “What did you spill in my car?”
He glances from Chifuyu’s eyes and then up at the ceiling before his grin turns into something more calculating.
“What did I spill in your car?! Oh just… a dirty, dirty secret, to your biggest enemy Keisuke Baji! I told him I’m in love with you!”
And with those last words Hanma leaps from the bed, cackling like some kind of goblin and circles Chifuyu twice before he pulls the blonde back into their bed and tucks him in in a way that he knows Chifuyu hates because it’s so damn hot in this room!
With one final glare, Chifuyu rolls over and decides he’ll try and get as much sleep as he can, and tomorrow night he’ll find the couch to be satisfactory.
“Oh, I remember now! I spilled a jar of kefir on the passenger seat last night,”
“You what?!”