Chapter Text
Chapter 11:
He couldn’t tell Basti. He couldn’t admit it. That the kiss last night had thrown him into even more turmoil. That everything he thought he knew about himself was unraveling before his eyes. He wanted and needed to tell someone so bad but at the same time he was dead scared.
The question hung in the air between them, as if the world had suddenly gone silent. Manu’s eyes widened for a split second before he quickly looked away, his body tensing. Basti’s heart raced as he watched his friend’s reaction, the pieces of the puzzle seemingly falling into place.
Manu’s silence was answer enough.
Basti took a step closer, his voice softer now. “Is that what’s been going on?”
Manu didn’t respond immediately. He stared at the floor, his jaw clenched, struggling with the weight of everything he’d been holding in for so long. His hands were balled into fists at his sides, and Basti could see the battle raging inside him - part of him wanting to deny it, to push it all away, and another part, desperate to finally let it out.
After what felt like an eternity, Manu spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s not that simple.”
Basti frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”
Manu sighed, running a hand through his hair. His shoulders slumped, as if the very act of keeping this secret had exhausted him. “It’s… it’s not just liking him,” he admitted, his voice strained. “It’s everything. It’s how I feel when I’m around him. It’s how I’ve been feeling for years and I don’t know how to stop it.”
Basti listened, his heart aching for his friend. Manu’s voice was raw with emotion, something he rarely let anyone see.
“And then there’s Lisa,” Manu continued, bitterness creeping into his tone. “He’s with her, and I just-” His words faltered as he shook his head, unable to finish. “I thought if I ignored it, if I pretended it wasn’t there, it would go away. But it hasn’t, Basti. It’s just gotten worse. And last night…” His voice cracked slightly as he trailed off, the memory of Thomas’s kiss flooding his mind. “Last night he kissed me.”
Basti’s eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t interrupt. He could tell how hard this was for Manu, how much it was costing him to say these things out loud.
“I don’t know what that meant,” Manu went on, frustration building in his voice. “I don’t know if he was just drunk, or if it was some kind of joke. But I can’t stop thinking about it. And I hate that I can’t stop. I hate how much I want it to mean something.”
The silence stretched between them, heavy and charged with everything that had been left unsaid for so long. Basti finally understood - understood why Manu had been acting so strangely, why he had seemed so lost lately. He stared at Manu for a long moment, processing what this meant. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again, clearly at a loss. Finally, he let out a heavy sigh, his hand resting on Manu’s shoulder.
“Okay,” Basti said, his voice steady despite the slight tremor of uncertainty. “I’m not going to pretend I fully get it right now. This is… a lot. And yeah, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little overwhelmed. But you’re my friend, Manu. That’s not changing.”
Manu exhaled, nodding, though his shoulders remained tense. Basti’s reaction wasn’t exactly comforting, but at least he hadn’t freaked out. That was something.
“You don’t… think I’m crazy?”
“Crazy? No,” Basti said quickly, shaking his head. “But maybe the timing’s a bit crazy.” He cracked a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. “I mean, couldn’t you have picked literally any other time to have a massive personal crisis? You know, like not during the World Cup?”
Despite himself, Manu let out a soft, dry laugh, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly. “Yeah, well, trust me, I didn’t plan it this way.”
“Well, it’s a terrible plan,” Basti said, his tone more playful now. “But hey, maybe we can figure out what to do about it. Together. I mean, I have no idea how to handle… this,” he gestured vaguely, “but we’ll figure it out, okay?”
Manu nodded, a small wave of gratitude washing over him. Basti didn’t have the answers, but he didn’t need him to. Just knowing that someone was on his side made all the difference.
-
A few days passed, but the tension between Manu and Thomas had not eased. If anything, it had thickened, palpable enough that even the rest of the team began to notice.Training sessions were sharp, and the camaraderie that usually lifted the team felt strained, as if everyone could sense something was just slightly off.
Mats, in particular, seemed concerned, confiding in Basti over lunch.
“You noticed it too, right? Manu’s not himself. And Thomas… he’s acting weird. If we don’t fix this, it’s going to affect the whole team.”
Basti nodded. “Yeah, I’ve noticed. I’m working on it. But it’s not exactly something you can fix overnight.”
-
By the time the next evening rolled around, their coach seemed to sense the unspoken tension as well. After another successful training session, he suggested the whole team head to the beach for a bit of downtime. A few hours to unwind, relax, and shake off the stress before the next game.
The beach was lit by soft lanterns and the fading sun, casting long shadows across the sand as the team set up a bonfire and lounged by the water. Laughter echoed across the shore as some of the players playfully wrestled or raced along the waves.
Manu sat slightly apart from the group, letting the sound of the ocean and the cool breeze calm him. He tried to focus on the conversation, the laughter of his teammates, but his mind kept drifting back to the other man, who was seated several meters away, laughing at something Mats had said. He hadn’t spoken much to Thomas in the past few days - not beyond the usual pleasantries during training. And Thomas hadn’t reached out either. It was as if they were both walking on eggshells, afraid to crack the fragile balance they had.
Manu was half-zoned out when a soft voice pulled him from his thoughts.
“Hey,” a soft voice interrupted his thoughts.
Manu blinked and turned his head. A woman stood nearby, her smile warm and inviting. “Mind if I join you?” she asked.
“Oh, uh…” Manu stammered, caught off guard. “Sure.”
She sat down beside him, her body angled toward his as she began to chat. She was beautiful, her laughter light and easy, and Manu tried to focus on her words.
“So, you’re one of the players, right? I saw you at training the other day. You were killing it out there.”
Manu chuckled lightly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, something like that. Thanks.”
Nothing about the woman was even remotely his type - even if he was interested in women. But it was nice to think about something else for a few seconds. They talked for a while, the woman’s casual flirtation growing more obvious with each passing moment. Manu found himself distracted, his mind half on the conversation and half wondering where Thomas had gone.
Across the circle, Thomas had gone quiet. His gaze flicked towards Manu and the woman, his expression unreadable at first. When the woman laughed and touched Manu’s arm lightly, Thomas’s demeanor shifted. He leaned forward, interjecting loudly into a conversation he hadn’t been part of, his tone uncharacteristically sharp.
The team exchanged curious glances, Mats raising an eyebrow. “What’s gotten into him?” he muttered under his breath.
When Thomas finally stood and made his way toward Manu, there was an air of tension about him that was impossible to ignore. He stopped a few feet away, crossing his arms. “Hey, Manu,” he said, his tone light but laced with something almost territorial. “We were about to play a game of beach golf. You in?”
Manu glanced up at him, caught off guard. “Uh, maybe in a bit?”
Thomas’s eyes flicked to the woman, then back to Manu. “It’s starting now,” he said firmly, his meaning clear even if his words weren’t.
The woman raised an eyebrow, sensing the shift in dynamics. “Well,” she said, standing gracefully. “Maybe I’ll see you around later.” She gave Manu a small smile before walking off, her figure disappearing into the growing twilight.
Manu stared after her, confused and slightly annoyed. “What was that about?” he asked, turning to Thomas.
Thomas shrugged, his posture stiff. “Nothing. Just thought you’d rather be with the team.”
Manu frowned, studying Thomas’s face. There was something there - something just beneath the surface that Thomas was clearly trying to hide. The sound of the waves filled the quiet space between them but before Manu could say anything else, Thomas had already turned and walked away along the darkening beach, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. His shoulders were tense, and his steps were a little too forceful, leaving footprints in the damp sand.
Manu stared after him in disbelief for a moment.
He pushed himself up, brushing the sand from his shorts, and ran after Thomas.
“Hey!” Manu called out, his voice cutting through the fading light. Thomas didn’t stop. He just kept walking, eyes fixed ahead as if Manu’s voice hadn’t reached him.
“Thomas!” Manu tried again, jogging to catch up. His pulse hammered, but it wasn’t from the physical effort. The irritation bubbling inside him was reaching a boiling point.
Thomas finally stopped, his back still to Manu, gazing out over the water as if the ocean held all the answers.
Manu came to a halt a few feet behind him, panting softly, hands clenching at his sides. “What the hell was that?” he demanded, his voice sharp. “You drag me away from her like… like you’re jealous or something - and now you’re just ignoring me?”
Thomas didn’t turn around. “I'm not jealous,” he said quietly. His tone was so flat it almost felt rehearsed.
Manu let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Right. So, you kiss me out of nowhere, forget it ever happened, pretend like nothing’s changed, and then pull that stunt back there? Seriously, Thomas, what the hell is going on with you?”
Thomas’s shoulders visibly tensed at the word “kiss”, but still, he said nothing.
The silence gnawed at Manu’s nerves, his chest tightening with frustration. He stepped closer. “You don’t get to keep doing this,” he snapped. “You don’t get to confuse the hell out of me, then act like I’m the one being unreasonable.”
Thomas shifted, finally turning his head just enough to glance at Manu from the corner of his eye. His expression was guarded, but something flickered beneath it.
“I didn’t mean to confuse you,” Thomas said quietly.
“Well, congratulations,” Manu bit out. “You did.”
A brief pause hung between them, filled only by the sound of the surf. Manu searched Thomas’s face for some kind of explanation, but all he saw was avoidance.
“You’re not even going to explain it, are you?” Manu’s voice dropped, but the weight behind it remained heavy.
Thomas’s gaze flickered to the ground. “There’s nothing to explain.”
That was it. Manu felt the last thread of his patience snap.
“No. I’m done with this,” he said, stepping right in front of Thomas, blocking his view of the water. “You don’t get to just walk away this time.”
Thomas finally looked at him - REALLY looked at him - and for a fleeting second, Manu saw something there. Guilt. Doubt. Maybe even fear.