Chapter Text
The next time the Doctor left the Tardis was because the scanners had picked up a temporal anomaly on Bhazuut-9B3. It was easily dealt with and it had kept him busy for a few hours which was better than the wallowing he had been doing. Not that he had been completely idle on his ship; in fact he had been spending an impressive number of hours under the console completing upgrades. There was a reason, after all, that he had managed to pick up on the signal from Bhazuut-9B3 when he was a few star systems over. He had been improving the range of the ship’s scanners. It was something the Time Lord was chastising himself for not having done sooner because perhaps with an increased scanning area he could have found a crack in the walls of the universe quicker, maybe even one that was big enough for the Tardis to squeeze in and out of. Then he wouldn’t be in this mess. Then he wouldn’t be alone. The Doctor hadn’t given up on scanning for any further breaches though. He wasn’t particularly hopeful but he ensured the Old Girl kept a watchful eye on the walls just in case. Really he shouldn’t be wanting for such a thing to happen and not just because it didn’t necessarily mean he’d find Rose with the multitude of parallel universes out there. What it did mean, however, was the highly likely event involving the entire collapse of the universe which was, you know, nothing much to worry about.
He swooped back into the Tardis from the dusty planet and moved straight to the console where he rapidly set the controls to take them to the next destination. ‘Where’re we going next, Old Girl?’ He crowed as he danced around twisting dials and flicking switches. ‘Somewhere fun hmm?’ He suggested before pressing the randomiser button so she knew she could take the lead. Earlier, the Doctor hadn’t particularly wanted to leave the Tardis and had gone out rather begrudgingly but in the end had found it a much better distraction than the maintenance and upgrades he’d been conducting. Now he was hoping to throw himself into another adventure and then probably another after that because if he constantly kept himself busy, especially in high octane situations, then he didn’t have the time to get locked inside his head and remember.
The Doctor flipped the dematerialisation lever and the Tardis whirred into life, the time rotor bobbing up and down as the ship shook and shuddered giving the lone occupant a bumpy ride. Clinging on tightly, he braced himself for impact but with a last violent jolt the Time Lord lost his footing and was thrown backwards onto the grating. A laugh escaped the Doctor as he lay there; it was a hearty laugh that was joined by a slightly higher pitched cackle from beside him. He tilted his head to the right and his laughter died. Of course she wasn’t there. He’d just imagined it. His mind had replayed one of the many memories of her amusement at such a landing which was far too common an occurrence but neither of them would have had it any other way because it was all part of the fun. Well, it had been. His eyes darkened at the empty spot beside him before he tore his gaze away and pushed himself to his feet with a sigh. He headed for the door next, swooping his long coat on as he walked down the ramp, needing that distraction that lay just outside more than ever.
The summer sun bounced off his pasty skin the moment he stepped out of the Tardis. The sounds of children playing and having fun emanated from just behind him as he brought out his sonic screwdriver and glasses and used the sonic to tint the lenses, darkening them so he could see better under the bright UV rays. He slipped them on, pocketed the screwdriver, and began to look around, something he didn’t have to do to already know he was in London. Ignoring the smell of freshly cut grass from the field he was standing in, there was the tang of limestone, smog remnants, exhaust fumes, the slight saltiness of the Thames depending on which way the gentle breeze blew and, as Rose had put it, that eau de piss. The combination left no doubt where he was in his mind and, from the distant beeping of car horns plus the general drone of those vehicles, he made an educated guess that he was in the late twentieth or early twenty-first century.
Walking around the side of the Tardis, the Doctor’s eyes fell on a fenced off playground full of equipment and the children he could hear. It looked disturbingly familiar and looking upwards he realised why. Not far away, looming over the playground, were the towers of the Powell Estate. He swallowed dryly at the now imposing sight, even feeling his knees weaken a little at the shock of his destination. He hardly tore his eyes away as he made his way over to the nearby bench that he’d noticed earlier just in case his legs gave out. The Doctor slumped upon it, his eyes finding the rooftop of Rose’s building, a rooftop filled with mostly much happier memories of their time together.
His mind was trailing through those memories when his hearts stopped at the familiar voice. Dropping his gaze to the playground, which he hadn’t particularly taken in even though he was sitting on a bench facing it, he looked past all the running and laughing children until he saw the two blondes by the gate.
The adult of the pair, easily recognisable as none other than a younger Jackie Tyler, bent down a little to speak once more to the even younger blonde, ‘alright sweetheart, go have fun with Mickey and the others’. She stood back upright as the child Rose Tyler opened the gate and ran into the park.
He shouldn’t be here. It wasn’t as bad as going back on your own personal timeline but a past him and a future Rose’s timelines would entwine, if only for a little while, and he didn’t want to muck that up by staying. The only thing was the Time Lord couldn’t tear himself away. His gaze was transfixed on the perhaps seven year old Rose running around in her lilac T-shirt and pale shorts, her shoulder length hair appearing especially golden in the sunlight. He watched as she chased after the other bigger children who were all probably a few years older just like Mickey who he’d spotted among them. Then she laughed. His stomach flipped and his hearts skipped a few beats at the joyous sound. Her beautiful giggle with a matching smile brought a smaller and sadder one to the Doctor’s face. It was a truly bittersweet moment and he couldn’t tell if it was healing or hurting him further. Probably hurting, he decided with a sniff, his head was starting to feel horrible and a small voice inside him was screaming that it was wrong but he still couldn’t drag himself away.
The single thing that averted his gaze was Jackie, who’d been outside of the fence watching over her daughter, calling out to say, ‘Rose, I’m just going to have a word with Sarah about next Wednesday, I’ll be back in a moment’. The Doctor’s gaze briefly flicked back to Rose who was hardly distracted from copying what the older children were doing on the play equipment. She did, however, nod a little to at least show she’d heard.
He sat up straighter, appearing more vigilant, as he watched Jackie’s retreating form before he focused completely on the younger Tyler. Or perhaps the younger younger Tyler. She was waiting for her turn on the swing, watching as each of the older children had a go at swinging themselves as high as they dared before jumping off. They flew through the air then landed on the ground, some of them shouting out “Superman” whilst they did so, clearly emulating the superhero. One by one the children had their go before running off to the climbing frames at the far end of the park. Then it was Rose’s turn. She had waited patiently and was now the only one left by the swing. She sat on it wearing a determined look on her face and pushed off, her little legs swinging back and forth just like the swing was as she began to gather momentum. The swing rose higher and higher and then she jumped. Well, that had been the intention anyway. She’d tried to jump but had gone too soon and had ended up catching her foot on the ground which caused her to come crashing down with a yelp.
The Doctor had leapt up from the bench and hurdled the fence before he’d registered what he was doing. At that moment he didn’t care about any possible consequences of his actions because his Rose was hurt and he wasn’t going to sit by and watch; evidently such lack of action was impossible for him. He rushed over and got down on one knee by her side, his hand automatically reaching out to her to offer some form of comfort. ‘Oh, sweetheart, are you okay?’ He asked softly, his hand gently resting on her shoulder as she shuffled a little on the dusty ground letting out a muffled reply that he couldn’t quite work out. ‘Do you think you could sit up for me?’ He removed his hand as she did just that, turning and sitting on her bum with her legs stretched out before her though the left one was slightly bent at the knee where there was a fresh graze. ‘There we go,’ he praised with a smile as he took off his glasses and slipped them into his pocket so he could see her better. Externally he was calm and collected, he was just a doctor helping out an injured child, but internally his hearts were hammering because this wasn’t just any child, this was Rose. ‘Let’s have a look at you, eh?’ Now he was close up he could see that her hazel eyes, now wide and a little glossy, were just the same. Her face was rounder, her cheeks fuller like all children had until they grew up and matured. Her nose was small and what people would describe as a button and her pouting bottom lip was just beginning to wobble. He wished he could make it stop. ‘Oh, Rose, please don’t be upset, it’s alright,’ the Doctor said gently, restraining himself from simply scooping her up in his arms and holding her close until she felt better. He couldn’t do such a thing though because this Rose didn’t know him; he was a stranger in her eyes.
That apparently didn’t deter her though. Sniffing as she tried not to let her threatening tears fall, Rose pushed herself up and threw her arms around the startled Doctor’s neck. She stood a little bit taller than him, with how he was positioned on the ground, and leant into him whilst the Time Lord’s respiratory bypass kicked because he had momentarily forgotten to breathe. Then he took in a shuddery breath, unintentionally mimicking the smaller ones he could feel against the crook of his neck where Rose was burying her face. Thankfully she was too wrapped up in her own emotions to notice his. Gingerly he curled his arms around her small body. When she didn’t push away and only clung to him tighter he relaxed into the hug, rubbing one hand up and down her back in what he hoped would be perceived as a comforting gesture whilst mumbling soothing words as he tried to calm her. She wasn’t crying a lot from what he could tell but she’d evidently wanted consoling after her fall. Why she had trusted him to be the one to offer it he had no idea. Surely she knew about stranger danger. There were some dodgy people about and not just on Earth but all around the universe. She shouldn’t just latch on to someone even if they were trying to help her. Perhaps this young Rose vaguely knew what they would be to one another in the future, knew that she could trust him, knew that he would always care and provide comfort for her no matter what. He recalled what Rose had said about the young Mickey’s reaction upon seeing her when they went to the wedding where her father was supposed to have died in the car accident outside. She’d told him that Mickey had come running up to her and had hugged her tightly until Jackie pulled him away. Perhaps he’d known too. The Time Lord sincerely hoped that Jackie wouldn’t come along now and drag Rose away. Oh the slap he’d get for being a strange man hugging her daughter would send him into his next regeneration he was certain.
Whatever the reason behind it, the Doctor cherished the hug. It helped hugging this younger Rose. It mended his hearts a little to be back in her embrace even though it was a bit different than the one he was used to. She didn’t know it but she was comforting him as much as he was hoping to comfort her and he hadn’t realised how much he’d needed that, not until she’d wrapped her arms around his neck.
Even though he didn’t really want to, he immediately lowered his arms when she began to pull back because what he wanted more was for her to be comfortable. He had to keep reminding himself that he was still a stranger no matter how Rose had reacted and he really couldn’t face her reacting badly to him now, not after that.
‘Better?’ He asked quietly as she leant back against his upright knee and rubbed her eyes with her small fists. She sniffed and nodded so the Doctor moved onto his next question. ‘Were you crying because it hurts or because it was a bit of a shock that you took a tumble?’
‘Shock,’ she answered simply. Her voice was higher and obviously childlike compared to the one he knew but her London accent was clear even in just that one word. Lowering her hands, she gazed at him, her red rimmed eyes trailing over his features whilst he offered her a sympathetic smile. He’d seen that look on her before, thankfully not many times, but it made his stomach clench a little more upon seeing it on her face so young.
‘Bit of a nasty surprise wasn’t it?’ He continued softly. ‘But that’s how we learn, learn to pick ourselves back up and try again.’ Leaning in a little, as though speaking to her conspiratorially, he added, ‘those older kids made it look so easy didn’t they? But that’s because they’ve practised and I bet they’ve fallen down a few times too’. The Doctor gave her a knowing look and Rose’s eyes widened at his words.
‘Really?’ She asked as though she couldn’t believe it.
The Doctor nodded adamantly. ‘Oh yeah, definitely.’ He warmed at the hope brewing in her eyes and the small grin that was trying to tug on her lips. Now she was starting to feel better he wanted to get back to checking her out for any injuries. He’d noted the grazed knee earlier but suspected her hands would be grazed as well from having taken the brunt of the fall in supporting her head from not hitting the ground. ‘Do you think I could see your hands, see if you’re hurt?’
Rose nodded and held her hands out to him, palms facing upwards. ‘I hurt my knee,’ she mentioned as he eyed her palms which were grazed as he had suspected but they weren’t that bad and would heal in no time.
‘Yes, I noticed.’ He looked back up at her with a reassuring grin. ‘Just a few grazes, you’ll be fine. Now,’ he drawled. ‘Let’s see what I’ve got in here…’ The Doctor trailed off, his right hand diving into his coat pocket in search of some antibacterial wipes for her minor injuries. He pulled out a ball of string, a rubber duck, a chopstick, half a packet of gum and the left shoe of the older Rose’s spare set of trainers before he found what he was looking for plus a packet of plasters he hadn’t realised he had with him. All the other items had ended up on the ground, the appearance of the shoe in particular making the young Rose giggle. The sound was delightful to his ears and he beamed at her, just catching a hint of her tongue touched grin before she reached down to pick up the shoe as though needing confirmation that it wasn’t some fake and easily malleable object that could fit into his pocket but the real and impossible thing.
‘You’re funny,’ she said, bending the shoe a little and turning it over in her hands like she was looking for a way to reveal its secrets.
He continued smiling at her as he ripped open the packet of wipes. ‘Well, they do say that laughter is the best medicine,’ he commented lightly as though Rose’s own laughter hadn’t just made his day, made his entire life since he had become separated from her future self. ‘Alright, hand please.’ He held out his own, palm up, and she placed one of her own into it. ‘It will be cold but it shouldn’t hurt, okay?’ Rose nodded and he began gently wiping the graze before moving onto her other hand with another wipe. ‘I’ve fallen off the swings too you know,’ he began as he disinfected her wounds. ‘It hurt but I got up and went back on them. I learnt from my mistake because like you I was trying to jump too early so, when I did it again, I counted to one at the point where I jumped previously and then I went for it. Then my foot didn’t catch on the ground. Just got to remember to bend your knees when you land and you’ll do brilliantly I’m sure.’ The Doctor glanced up from her leg, which he had since moved onto, and gave her a big assured grin. Then he opened the plaster box and applied one of them to Rose’s knee which had a deeper cut than the smaller grazes on her palms. ‘There you go!’ He exclaimed with another happy smile as he looked back at her. ‘All cleaned up and a plaster with some spaceships on it.’
Rose surveyed his handiwork before giving him a grateful smile of her own. ‘Thank you.’
‘No problem.’ His look now had faded a little into sadness because he knew this meeting with the younger Rose was nearly finished. His time with Rose Tyler was almost up and once again he’d have to say goodbye. He swallowed at the thought and quickly focused on gathering the items from the ground in front of him and putting them back in his pocket.
‘Will you watch me?’
The Doctor looked up at her words, just pocketing the final discarded object. He raised his eyebrow. ‘Watch you?’
She nodded. ‘On the swing. I wanna have another go.’
He saw her determined look, the one that she still wore when she was older, the one he found particularly hard to deny when it was aimed at him. ‘Oh, alright then,’ he answered with a groan as though it would be a hardship for him to do so.
Rose giggled at his behaviour, seeing through it for what it was just like she always did, before getting up from his knee and jumping on the swing. ‘You’ve got to move so I don’t hit you.’
He smirked. ‘Yep,’ he said, popping the “p” as he got up and stepped out of swinging range. ‘I’m moving.’
She dragged the swing back as far as she could until she was on the tips of her toes. ‘Ready?’
Giving her an encouraging look, he nodded his head. ‘Always.’
Rose lifted her feet and the swing flew forwards. Her legs were swinging back and forth, in time with the swing, giving it more height until it had built up enough for her to perform the jump. He watched her determined face as she mouthed the word “one” just before she let go of the chains and propelled herself through the sky. The jump was timed perfectly and her bent kneed landing was just as good. She turned immediately and ran towards him beaming, the look matching the one he wore on his own face at her accomplishment.
‘That was fantastic,’ he crowed, his voice full of pride.
Rose was ecstatic with her leap and the Doctor’s praise and couldn’t decide between hugging his legs, giving him a high ten or simply jumping up and down for joy. They ended up celebrating by doing a bouncy dance thing where she held onto his hands whilst they jumped on the spot together, laughing as they did so. ‘You’re very tall,’ she commented once they had stopped bouncing, craning her neck up to look at him.
‘I am, aren’t I?’ The Doctor crouched down. ‘That better?’ Rose nodded. ‘See, I knew you could do it,’ he told her, the pride still evident in his tone, ‘you can do anything you set your mind to and if it doesn’t work out the first time what do you do?’
‘Get up and try again,’ she answered without a moment’s thought.
The Time Lord grinned and nodded. ‘Exactly!’ He exclaimed, pleased that she had taken on his message. ‘Now, go on,’ he began, nodding his head over to where the other children were still on the climbing frames. ‘Go play with your friends and show them how good you are on the monkey bars.’ The Doctor didn’t really want this encounter to end but it had to at some point and he’d rather do it on his own terms which meant doing it before Jackie returned. That thought about Jackie made another pop into his mind. ‘And if your mum asks where you got the plaster from tell her that there was a doctor passing by who helped you up, okay?
Rose nodded. ‘Okay,’ she said quietly, looking a little disappointed that they were about to part.
‘Go on,’ he encouraged softly, giving her one last smile. She returned it with a bright one of her own before turning and running off in the direction of the climbing equipment. He was about to get up when Rose was running back and barreling into him, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck once more. The force knocked him backwards and he just caught himself with one hand splayed out on the ground behind him as the other curled around her small body. He wrapped his other arm around her too once he was more secure in his crouched position, returning the unexpected hug.
‘Goodbye, Doctor,’ she whispered. Then she was pulling back and offering him a quick tongue touched grin before racing to actually join the other children.
‘Goodbye, Rose Tyler,’ he whispered to her retreating form, knowing that she was too far and his words were too quiet to reach her ears. He felt a little bit healed and yet a bit more broken from the encounter. He dropped his head with a groan before shaking himself and getting up, intending to head back to the Tardis where he could watch over Rose from the external cameras and ensure she was safe until Jackie returned. The Doctor glanced over to the climbing frames for a final time, his eyes landing on the young Rose who had just reached the top where she was sitting proudly. A small smile grew on his face which brightened when she looked over at him. She beamed and waved and he returned the gesture before turning to head back to his ship.
The Doctor didn’t get very far. He had only taken a few steps before his gaze focused on who was standing just beyond the fence in front of him.
**********
Captain Jack Harkness was having a day off. As bizarre of an eventuality as that may sound for a Torchwood employee, especially for one at the small base of Torchwood Three, they did actually get holidays. This wasn’t something that Jack particularly took advantage of but he’d had a bit of a blow at the start of the week and decided he needed a pick-me-up. Well, his chosen destination was more bittersweet than anything but it was what he was feeling driven to do. He’d mentioned it to the boss, Alex Hopkins, the day before that he was hoping to have either Saturday or Sunday to himself and Alex had agreed, if nothing big came up the next morning, that Jack could have the following day off. Luckily the rift had been quiet so Jack borrowed one of the big, black, company SUV’s and got on the motorway heading east. That was a few hours ago now and, with Jack’s driving style, he had ended up in London quicker than any of the new satellite navigation systems would have predicted. It was only a couple of years ago that such a system had been built into a vehicle destined for public use but Torchwood was not the public nor was GPS new to them; they’d been using it in their vehicles since the eighties. Jack always liked to use the destination arrival time feature as more of a guideline that he should try to beat but today the arrival time was looking a lot more accurate than it normally did. He hadn’t realised it was the first day of the school holidays so the traffic of families trying to get out of London for a trip away, plus the influx of tourists to the capital, really clogged up the roads. At least his destination for the day wasn’t a hotspot.
He pulled up and got out of the car choosing to leave behind his great coat due to the hot temperatures; he may be immortal but the heat got to him like any other man. The day really was quite beautiful with the sun shining down and hardly a cloud covering the bright blue sky and the Captain smiled to himself, rolling up the sleeves on his light blue shirt as he stepped from the public footpath and onto the grounds of the estate. He’d visited the Powell Estate once before back in 1988 and had inadvertently bumped into Jackie Tyler and her baby. He grinned a little smugly as he thought about the older Tyler woman expressing quite an interest in the “American”, as she had called him. He had flirted back a little of course but didn’t give her the full Jack Harkness charm because she was Rose’s mother and he wanted to remain firm friends with the other Tardis companion when he eventually found the travelling pair again.
Since being left behind on the Game Station and discovering his immortality, Jack had done quite a lot with his already abnormally long life. He’d also spent a bit of that life looking for the Doctor but unsurprisingly an alien with a time machine that could travel all across the universe was quite a hard man to find. When his vortex manipulator malfunctioned leaving him stranded in the nineteenth and not the twenty-first century, where he thought he had a better chance of finding the Doctor due to it being Rose’s era, he had stayed in Cardiff because he knew that the Tardis would need to refill at the rift eventually. So far he’d either not been at Roald Dahl Plass, where the rift was located, when the Tardis had landed or that pit stop hadn’t happened yet. Who knew how long it took between refills for a time machine anyway? And it wasn’t like he could get much information on the ship like he could when he was a Time Agent.
Jack had heard the story of how Rose and the Doctor had met in 2005, back when they were all travelling together in the Tardis, and she’d told him a little about growing up on the Powell Estate. He had never learnt of her exact age though so when he just so happened to be in the area in 1988 he was happily surprised to quite literally bump into Jackie Tyler as she pushed a baby Rose in a pushchair through the courtyard. That meeting had given the Captain hope that his long wait would soon be over.
He guessed that Rose would only be about six or possibly seven by now but he thought that seeing the young girl would brighten his mood. Rose could always do such a thing when they were travelling together, her big beaming smile lit up any room and could even have a positive effect on a certain grumpy Time Lord. Jack also thought it would be nice to simply check in and see how she was getting on as she grew up. That was if he could find her of course. He didn’t know which of the buildings let alone which flat she lived in and wouldn’t go looking because he didn’t actually want to meet Rose, he knew enough about disrupting time lines from his time in the Agency, he only wanted to see her because he was missing his friend.
After a quick walk around the courtyard the sound of children playing drew his attention to the nearby park. Perhaps, if he was lucky, Rose would be over there enjoying the beginning of her summer and playing in the sun with her friends from the estate. As he crossed the grass what the Captain hadn’t expected to see was the familiar shape of a blue box partly obscured from his sight by a tall piece of play equipment. The Doctor was here? It was the early nineties, why would the Doctor be here? Perhaps he too thought to keep an eye on Rose as she grew up but why the Time Lord would need to do such a thing when he travelled with the older version Jack didn’t know, especially when he was the one always so overly cautious about the timelines. His eyes roamed across the park trying to spot the leather clad man but he was nowhere to be seen. Jack did, however, spot the familiar blonde figure of Jackie Tyler which assured him that Rose was at least in the park like he had hoped. Keeping to the side of the nearby sports hall, Jack had a quick look in the fenced off playground section and easily spied the young blonde that could only be Rose. She was smiling and laughing, playing with a group of slightly older boys and a couple of girls. The Captain, knowing how Rose had grown up with Mickey on the estate, guessed that one of the boys could have been him.
Having seen Rose he went to make his way to the Tardis but Jackie’s voice stopped him. She was telling her daughter she was going to leave her at the park whilst she spoke to someone and soon turned her back on the playground to do such a thing. He decided he could wait a little longer and watch over Rose, just until Jackie got back, and then go to the Tardis. His decision to do just that was proven correct in his mind when a movement caught his eye. There was a wooden bench not far from the railings of the park. It looked into it so that parents and guardians could watch over the children and have a bit of a rest on the bench whilst doing so. He hadn’t noticed the man sitting there before because he had been hunched over plus with his brown hair and coat he rather blended in with the brown bench. Now the man was sitting upright and he was watching the departing figure of Jackie before his gaze went back to the park. Being a man dressed in a suspiciously long coat, and even the fact that he was wearing a coat at all in this weather, should have at least raised Jack’s hackles. He should have been wondering if the man truly knew one of the children and wasn’t just a stranger being a creep. But even though he could only see the back of him, the Captain found that there was something about him that assured him he meant no threat.
This was confirmed only moments later when a small yelp filled the air followed by the man jumping up from the bench and vaulting over the fence to the fallen child. Jack hadn’t seen what had happened but Rose must have had some sort of accident on the still moving swing which she lay in front of. Jack found his feet moving closer to the railings as he gazed at the kneeling man comforting the crying Rose. As he watched, the identity of the man became clear to the Captain. He knew of regenerations from his time in the Agency and there was no doubt now in his mind, as the man brought a giggle out of Rose, who this supposed stranger was. Jack continued watching the Doctor tending to her injured knee and then as Rose demonstrated the jump she had been attempting to do from the swing in the first place. He laughed quietly as the pair celebrated together and smiled as Rose ran back to the Doctor to give him a final hug before re-joining the other children on the play equipment. Then the Time Lord got up and turned, taking a couple of steps before stopping in his tracks when he saw Jack, completely confirming his suspicions.
‘Doc,’ he greeted the newly regenerated Time Lord, in Jack’s eyes at least, who warily began to step closer. That wariness reminded the Captain of the reason he was here in the first place and it made him feel a little smug that he could garner such a reaction from the ever assured Doctor.
‘Jack?’ His brow creased painfully at the man before him, confused by his appearance. It explained something at least, the reason as to why his head felt so bad. He’d believed it was a warning about the timelines he was meddling with by attending to Rose but perhaps it was simply the appearance of the one and only Jack Harkness. A man who was impossible. A man who was wrong. ‘What are you doing here?’
Jack folded his arms, cutting himself an imposing figure as he shook his head and watched as the Doctor climbed back over the fence. ‘No, what are you doing here?’ He asked a little forcefully. He knew that the Doctor, in the previous body he’d met, loved Rose and that he oftentimes felt like a bit of a third wheel around them, but he hadn’t minded that. They were his friends and he loved them both. And then Jack had been abandoned by the pair of them on the Game Station. Going by this Doctor’s very emotive eyes which he’d seen flash with guilt, it had been a purposeful move. The Doctor before him took the time to visit a younger Rose but couldn’t be bothered to return for Jack. His anger was building because he wanted to know why, why a supposed friend could do such a thing.
The Doctor’s shoulders slumped and he let out a deep sigh because he really couldn’t face this confrontation right now. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to retreat from the universe inside his ship, just for a little while, whilst he processed his meeting with young Rose. Jack’s stance told him that he wanted no such thing for the Time Lord. ‘Jack,’ he groaned, drawing out the other man’s name in complaint at his atrocious timing.
Jack was about to go into a tirade about him being left behind but there was something that stopped him. He looked at the man before him. Properly looked. There were shadows beneath his eyes that spoke of a deep exhaustion. They also had a haunted quality to them that didn’t appear natural either, though it was a little hard to tell because this was a new face to Jack after all. There was something about his posture that didn’t sit right with him. The Doctor always stood tall and commanding, dominating even, particularly when complaining and arguing with Jack, but now he looked, well, defeated. There was no better word for it. It was like he had no fight left in him. The way he acted, from what the Captain could see, was not the same with the young Rose in the playground. The Time Lord had even jumped for joy with the young girl, but he recalled the way his entire body drooped once Rose had re-joined the other children and he wondered if she, the future Rose which Jack knew, had something to do with it. It was strange after all that the Doctor had decided to pay her younger self a visit. The Captain sighed a little and decided he’d do this on the Doctor’s terms and hoped that would make him more amenable to his own questions. He doubted it though with what he was about to say. ‘I wanted to visit Rosie. I - I have before actually but I try to stay out of the way, don’t get involved.’ He paused, waiting for the inevitable scolding from the Time Lord but it never came. Instead something barely perceptible crossed the Doctor’s face before he shoved his hands in his trouser pockets without saying a word. ‘I miss you guys,’ Jack admitted quietly, ‘I miss her’. The Doctor swallowed thickly causing a deep frown to furrow the Captain’s brow. Something was seriously wrong. ‘Why are you here, Doc? You should be the first to know you shouldn’t be in case it messes with the timelines. Hell, you should have shouted at me by now for admitting I visit her. What happened?’ Jack watched as the man before him tightened his jaw and shook his head, refusing to answer the question. Not answering a question was normal for the Time Lord but the sadness in his eyes as he refused was anything but. There was now only one thing running through his mind from the Doctor’s reaction. Something bad had happened to Rose. ‘Is she - is she…’ He stuttered, not wanting to say it, not wanting for it to be true.
The Doctor shook his head again. He may not be able to tell Jack what had happened but he could at least offer the man some comfort. ‘She’s alive,’ he managed to say through the tightness of his throat.
Jack looked at him with wide, incredulous eyes. ‘Then what the hell happened?’ He asked, raising his arms in the air in question.
‘I can’t tell you that, Jack,’ the Time Lord sighed.
‘Oh, so now you’re worried about the timelines,’ he shot back, his anger at the man making a brief reappearance before he dampened it again.
The Doctor looked at him for a moment, unfazed by the outburst before he nodded to himself and muttered, ‘you’re right. I shouldn’t be here’. He made to walk around Jack and to the Tardis but the other man was clearly not done with the conversation.
‘Wait, Doctor, I get that something bad has happened…’ At those words the Time Lord stopped. His back was still to Jack who hurried on quickly so he could get out what he wanted to say. ‘…something with Rosie and I’m sorry and I wish I could help or do something at least because she’s like a sister to me but I know I can’t. What I also know is that I have waited for far too long to find you again and I think I deserve at least an explanation as to why you abandoned me.’ He paused briefly but when there was no reply he continued. ‘And, oh yeah, here’s a fun fact for you,’ he said, his tone laced with sarcasm, ‘I can’t die. Learned that one the hard way. I managed to get off the satellite and aimed to try and find you in the twenty-first century but my vortex manipulator was busted up by the Daleks and left me in the nineteenth. I’ve been waiting out by that rift in Cardiff for hundreds of years thinking you’d pop up there to refuel, but now I end up running into you here. I need answers Doc, I’ve waited long enough.’ He crossed his arms and waited for the Doctor to say something, anything. Finally, with what appeared to be a gargantuan effort, he turned.
‘It was Rose, Jack,’ he said quietly. He paused as he worked out what to say. Jack was right, he did deserve an explanation and the Rose voice in the Doctor’s mind was telling him just as much, as well as scolding him for leaving the other man in the first place of course. ‘You know I sent her away but she found a way back to the satellite. She opened the heart of the Tardis and absorbed the time vortex itself. If a Time Lord did that they’d become a God, a vengeful one at that, but Rose was human. Everything she did was so human,’ he said a little wistfully, his eyes trailing back over to the park behind the Captain before settling on him once more. ‘The Goddess she became held all of that power and she used it to bring you back to life but she couldn’t control it so she brought you back forever. That’s something I suppose,’ he added with a shrug as he considered this line of thought that he had never ventured down before. ‘That the last act of the Time War was life.’
‘You knew?’
Jack’s slightly accusatory tone brought him back out of mind. ‘Why do you think I ran?’ He said, eyeing the man seriously. ‘You shouldn’t exist. You’re a fixed point in time and space. A fact. It’s not easy just looking at you, Jack. You’re - you’re wrong,’ he said plainly. ‘I’m a Time Lord. It’s instinct. It’s in my guts.’
The Captain took a moment to contemplate his words. ‘So, what you’re sort of saying is you’re prejudiced?’
A huff of laughter escaped the Doctor. ‘I never thought of it like that,’ he admitted, tilting his head to the side whilst he pondered it and rubbed his eye.
‘Shame on you.’ There was no harshness in what Jack was saying, really he was more pleased that he had managed to elicit a bit of amusement from the Time Lord who otherwise looked so broken. ‘Can she change me back?’ He asked, returning the topic to his immortality. ‘Can you change me back?’
‘I can’t do anything,’ the Doctor told him with a shake of his head. ‘And I took the power out of Rose. It was killing her,’ he added softly.
‘You sacrificed yourself for her,’ Jack stated. He wasn’t shocked by the revelation, really it made a whole lot of sense knowing the Doctor how he did.
He shrugged. ‘She only has one life.’ He watched as Jack nodded in agreement and the Doctor scratched the back of his head awkwardly. ‘Look,’ he said with a sigh, ‘Rose, she doesn’t remember any of this, at least I don’t think she does, but she definitely doesn’t know about you. That was all me leaving you there. Rose was unconscious, I was about to regenerate and you were - you were impossible and wrong and I - I ran,’ he admitted. ‘I wish I could help you Jack,’ he added quietly, ‘I of all people know what a curse a long life can be. Well, it is, I’m not going to sugar coat it. It’s not easy’.
‘Hey, at least you can get some free work done every once in a while,’ Jack joked, gesturing to the Time Lord who was smirking at his words.
‘Rose! Come on sweetheart!’ The voice of Jackie Tyler rang through the park and the Doctor warily looked over Jack’s shoulder.
‘I better go,’ he began, his eyes flitting between Jack and Jackie, assessing the situation whilst talking to the man before him. ‘I don’t think I’ve altered the timelines but meeting Jackie might just push them over the edge.’
Jack nodded. He knew he wasn’t going to get an offer to travel with the Time Lord again, he’d realised that quite early on into the conversation but it was still hard to hear and hurt him a little. Clearly his hurt was nothing on the Doctor’s though with whatever had happened in the future. ‘Are you gonna be alright?’
He sniffed, knowing immediately what Jack was referring to. ‘I will be.’ The Doctor turned to step around the side of his ship and to the blue wooden doors, rooting through his trouser pocket for the key as he did so.
‘Come find me,’ the Captain suggested, tailing after him. ‘When you’re back in linear time. We could talk about it if you want.’ The Doctor shot him a look as he fitted the key into the lock and Jack smirked. ‘Yeah, I knew you wouldn’t want to but the offer still stands. If you ever need me for anything and I mean anything, Doc,’ he said firmly, ensuring that the Time Lord understood that he truly meant it. ‘I’ll be in Cardiff, by the rift.’
‘Yep.’ His voice was a little weak. The Doctor swallowed as he nodded and stepped inside the Tardis before he turned and gave one last look at Jack.
‘Good luck out there, Doctor.’
A small smile tugged on his lips. ‘And you, Jack.’ He performed his customary eye roll as Jack saluted him and then the Doctor shut the door and sent the Tardis off into the vortex.