Chapter Text
November 2nd, 2552, 0200 Hours
UNSC In Amber Clad, Unknown Slipspace Trajectory
Deployment clock +00 00:00:00 [Days Hours:Minutes:Seconds]
Alex was alone in the gym as she began her warm-up stretches, Cody was chatting with the ODST's and Macmillan had retreated wherever it was the AI's had decided to gather for the trip. It was just how she liked it, no one bugging her, no one trying to make small talk. Just her, the equipment, the music Johnson had so graciously provided, and all the rage she still felt inside. It had pissed her off leaving the fight on Earth behind to chase after some covie leader; she had been in the gym nearly every night when her assigned unit wasn't on standby trying to work through all the anger.
With no idea to know when they would drop out of slipspace the Commander had ordered the ship to rotate shifts on standby for rapid deployment, three shifts each with a Spartan attached. That meant hours of standing around in full kit in the drop pod bay waiting for something to happen only to end up doing nothing, nothing to shoot, nothing to take her mind off everything that had happened, nothing to take her mind off all the deaths she had seen, nothing to keep her mind off of Kat who still haunted her thoughts. The smell of blood and death, the sound of the needle rifle firing, the view of the cracked faceplate with a hole through the middle of it that was etched in her mind.
The door to the gym opened and Alex turned in surprise to see Kendra dressed in her PT gear. Alex almost let out a laugh “You got some kind of sixth sense for when I'm in a gym?”
Kendra jumped slightly; she must not have noticed her, a look of slight fear washed over the medic. “Oh, uh sorry I'll just come back later.”
“Hey wait,” Alex called out in a soft voice, she didn't know why or what made her but the fact that the young woman was afraid of her didn't sit right. “There's room enough for two here.”
Kendra smiled slightly “You sure? I don't wanna intrude.”
“I'm sure,” Alex lied, if she went back on it now it'd only make her feel worse.
Kendra made her way over to the pull-up bar and began to stretch herself “I promise I won't hit you upside the head like last time” she said with a light laugh that made the corners of Alex's mouth turn upward in a small smile.
“Ah well everybody gets one free shot, that was yours,” The Spartan said as she finished running through her stretches and made her way over to the bench press and began to set it up, piling weight plates onto the bar until it was maxed out “So what brings you down here so early?”
“Couldn't sleep,” Kendra said “What about you?”
Much of the same, she thought before answering “Force of habit mostly” Alex layed down on the bench press and adjusted her grip until she was satisfied. “That and I tend to move from equipment to equipment, don't enjoy having to wait.”
Kendra laughed again “Understandable, especially with the ODST's around. They like to think they own the place.”
Alex lifted the bar from its cradle and brought it down slowly “Oh yeah, typical helljumpers still not sure why my brother hangs with them so much.” She said with a slight grunt as she pushed the bar back up
“Well, there's a few hunches going around the ship. About him and Lieutenant Khalid.” Kendra said as she hopped up grabbing the pull up bar.
Alex nearly dropped the bar in surprise as she brought it down, she quickly tightened her grip and pushed it back up “What? Really? I mean I know I teased him about it but…”
Kendra grunted with effort as she pulled her head above the pull-up bar. “Oh yeah, but I wouldn't put too much stock in marine scuttlebutt though. They love to make something out of nothing.”
“Ah well, I'll have to interrogate my brother later.”
“I've never heard of a Spartan in a relationship before, everyone always well we didn't think… eh” Kendra trailed off
“What? That we don't have the capacity for it or something?” Alex chuckled “It's just very, very uncommon, I heard a Spartan II even retired and settled down.”
“You say that like you aren't one of them,” Kendra said as she crested the bar again. “A Spartan II I mean.”
Shit, she's observant, Alex thought, Ah well can't hurt right? “Me and Cody are from a later generation of Spartans from the Chief and his group they're II's we're III's”
“What's the difference?”
“How we were augmented mainly, theirs was more surgical, ours was mostly chemical, still hurt like a bitch.” Alex explained
Kendra dropped down from the bar and turned, wiping her sweaty hands with a towel. “I wouldn't say that's the main thing, after all you don't seem as… robotic as the Chief.”
Alex hefted the bar into its cradle once more before sitting up and raising an eyebrow at the young woman “What's that supposed to mean?”
“Ah well you just seem more emotional is all,” as Alex stood up Kendra made her way over. “N-not that it's a bad thing! It's actually kinda nice to know that you're just human even under all that armor and enhancements.”
“Human…” Alex repeated under her breath, the word felt wrong in her mouth at least when referring to her. “No, I'm not,” she muttered, turning away from Kendra lost in her own thoughts. “I'm a weapon, a monster to fight monsters, it's what I have to be, It's what I was made for.”
Alex felt hands grab at her shoulder and her fighting instincts kicked in, she spun on her heel the sudden action sent Kendra stumbling back causing her to fall backward. Realizing what was happening Alex quickly reached out and caught her before she hit the ground but the moment she did Kendra was replaced by Kat with a single neat hole in her head, blood running down her forehead, and a dark, devious grin on her face. “Déjà vu hmm?” Kat snickered.
Alex dropped her to the ground and stepped back shaking. “K-kat?”
Kat stood up unnaturally without bending her legs, the unsettling grin still plastered on her face. “Who else?” She asked, “Isn't this what you were talking about?” Kat asked her head, cocking to the side unnaturally sudden, “Monsters?” Alex's face turned white whatever that thing was, it wasn't her comrade, it wasn't Kat. She turned and rushed out of the gym bolting through the ship's corridors until she reached the officer's quarters and finally her assigned room. As soon as the door closed she pressed her back against it and closed her eye trying to calm her frantic breathing “Really? Running again?” Kat whispered into her ear. Alex's eye shot open only to find the new twisted visage of Kat inches away from her face.
“No! No you're not real! You're dead!” All of the breath left her body like she had been punched in the gut and she collapsed to her knees.
Kat crouched down and crossed her arms “Aww, where's that fighter who kept me company during training? The one who watched my back in New Alexandria?”
“Why Kat?” Alex whispered “Why won't you leave me alone?”
The woman ignored her question, tapping her chin a few times in thought, “Oh that's right,” she said, her voice lowering to a growl “She died on Reach. Where she should have stayed.”
“I KNOW!” Alex yelled before softly repeating herself “I know…”
Kendra had been too stunned to even try to follow the Spartan as she retreated from the gym with all the speed of a startled cat. What had caused such a reaction? Was it what she said? And who the hell was Kat?
These questions bounced around in the young woman's mind as she made her way toward the crew quarters. As she passed one of the Amber clad's rec rooms, she heard the telltale accent of Chips Dubbo followed by loud, boisterous laughter and decided to poke her head in.
Sitting at one of the round tables was Lieutenant Khalid, her squad, a small grouping of marines, and most curiously Alex's brother Cody. Maybe he knows who Kat is? Kendra thought to herself as she stepped into the room as Dubbo continued the story he had been telling. “So there I am, a magnum with one bullet and a lone wormbag between me and my ticket off that bloody ring.”
“Bullshit Dubbo no way you took out a Hunter with a single pistol shot.” One marine said, holding out his hand in the universal stop gesture.
Dubbo grinned at the man “It's the truth my friend swear on me mum. After all, aren't I standing in front of you? Can't no walking fish bait stop,” he stood up and flexed his arms “Chips, fuckin Dubbo the alien hunter!”
A collective laugh went up from the group and Zia spoke up once she was done laughing “Did the Corps teach you to make that bullshit up?”
“No, ma'am that is one hundred percent a Dubbo specialty,” the Australian proclaimed proudly to everyone's amusement. As the laughter died down, he took notice of Kendra by the door and waved “Hey doc! Want us to deal you in? Be careful though the Spartan here has one hell of a poker face.”
Kendra smiled and walked up to the table “No thanks I'm broke enough as it is don't need to gamble my latest check away.” As the room laughed along she caught Cody's eye “Hey Spartan, can I chat with you for a minute?”
Cody nodded and set his cards face down on the table “Don't get any ideas about peeking or I'll show you all just how I got so good with a blade.” he threatened the table with a smile on his face but murder in his eyes as he stood up. It seemed he took games seriously, not that Kendra expected anything less from a Spartan.
Stepping out into the hallway Kendra shut the door behind her and turned to the Spartan “So what's up? Seemed kinda important the way you marched past the rec room at first.”
“It's about Alex,” she said as she fidgeted with her short’s pocket “Your sister”
Cody nodded slowly “Yes she's the only person I know with that name, what about her?” A slight smirk formed on his face “Wait you and her aren't…?” He trailed off.
Kendra felt her face heat immediately “W-what? No, no I mean she's growing on me when I actually get her talking but it's n-nothing like that. No, it's about something else, more serious.”
Cody's face dropped into the professional mask that she imagined all Spartans perfected from birth “Alright… lay it on me.”
Kendra took a deep steadying breath “I think she's not okay… mentally.” If this was new information to him the man's face didn't betray his ignorance.
“What makes you say that?”
“We were in the gym and everything seemed fine but when I tried to say she was more than just a weapon, she seemed to… I don't know, start to block me out.”
“Well when you've done as many missions as we have it's only natural to treat yourself that way, she's fine-”
“No, that's not all!” Kendra interrupted him, surprising them both. “When she started to leave, I went after her and I tripped, she caught me but after that she looked at me differently like she was afraid… and then she said a name.”
Cody frowned deeply “A name?”
“Does the name Kat mean anything?” She asked as soon as the name left her mouth Cody's mask slipped away and his face shifted to one of concern.
The Spartan looked away “Someone we knew… look I'll take care of Alex thank you for telling me.” as he spun on his heel to leave Kendra reached out grabbing his arm.
“Wait, I've had training albeit limited in battlefield stress management and mental health. I'm more qualified to help.”
Cody turned back a slight glare on his face “She doesn't need a shrink. I'll handle it.” he grumbled looming over her more.
Ouch, that hurt. But Kendra wasn't one to be deterred. “I'm not a shrink, I'm a concerned friend and comrade who just wants to help.” The glare didn't disappear from the man's face but it did waver so she pushed onward. “Look I'm not going to demand she gets pulled off missions or anything like that, it wouldn't do us any good in the middle of a slipspace jump, anyway.”
The glare completely left Cody's face with a sigh and after a moment of thinking he nodded “Okay, just don't expect her to open up right away it's not how we were ra-...” he paused as if catching himself “Trained.”
Kendra decided not to press him any further sensing that if she did, she might lose the goodwill she had gained. “I won't, I've talked to plenty of marines who feel the same way. I'll do my best to help her, you have my word.” She said with a smile before gesturing back to the rec room “Now get back to your game before you have to take someone aside for CQC training.”
“Yeah right, that wouldn't end well for anyone.” Cody chuckled his shoulders losing the rigid posture they had taken on.
Before she could stop herself her next comment came tumbling out of her mouth “Except for maybe the Lieutenant?” The glare he shot her way could have put a hole through In Amber clad if the UNSC found a way to weaponize it. She took that as her cue to leave stammering an apology as she beat a hasty retreat down the hallway “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!”
Alex wasn't sure how long it had been silent for, she had done her best to block Kat out but even then the ghostly woman had gone on for what felt like hours. Her head pounded, her mouth was dry, and she was fairly certain she felt tear tracks running down her face. Most importantly, however, she didn't hear, or see Kat. A shaky sigh of relief left her lips that was quickly replaced with a small yelp of surprise as a light knock sounded on the door behind her. She stood up and opened the door doing anything less would be suspicious and that was the last thing she wanted.
As the metal portal slid open, she saw the small form of Kendra on the other side and quickly reached for the control to shut the door again. “Wait!” Kendra yelled, sticking her arm in front of the door, keeping it from closing. “I'm not here to judge or anything, I just wanna talk.”
“There's nothing to talk about now if you don't mind I'm trying to get sleep” Alex pressed the control to close the door and stepped away.
Kendra however proved annoyingly stubborn as she held the door open with her body “I'm not leaving Alex, you don't wanna talk about what happened fine. But let's just talk, you shouldn't be alone right now, give me an hour and then I'll go. Okay?”
Alex stared into the medic’s eyes and found no trace of anything that was saying she would be easy to get rid of. “Fine, an hour no longer got it?” She grumbled waving the woman inside.
Kendra quickly made her way inside, closing the door behind her and sat down on the small bed “Who's Kat?”
Alex felt like she had been caught by a surprise left hook to the gut and did her best to hide the reaction of anger that rose up within her “That blunt?”
“I've learned you have to be that way with Spartans. So, who's Kat?”
“Another Spartan me and Cody trained with, after training we got separated for… a few years”
“Hmph, try nearly ten.”
Alex directed her thoughts to the unwelcome voice, Hello again Kat, “We were always close even during training.”
Kendra sat up a bit straighter and set her hands in her lap clearly interested. “Tell me about her.”
“She was kinda like me I guess. Headstrong, curious, always believed she knew the best,” Alex chuckled softly “God she could be such a bitch sometimes though. I remember the day I first talked with her in boot camp was to yell at her for snitching on me for sneaking out of the barracks the night before to try and get into the instructor's barracks for some snacks.”
Kendra raised an eyebrow “How did she find out?”
Alex grinned “Because I fell on her when I climbed out the window, turns out she had the same idea.” Kat let out a laugh in the back of her mind and for just a moment Alex was almost glad she was there just to hear that laugh again.
“So she was just beating you to the punch then?” Kendra said with a wry smile of her own.
Alex was quick to counter the accusation “Hey! I'm a lot of things but a snitch? Not in a million years. Anyway, it didn't work out well for her because our DI made us both run laps from sunrise till sunset without breakfast or lunch.”
“What, both of you?” Kendra asked “I mean I get why you would have to run, but why Kat?”
“Because she sold out a comrade. We were trained to treat our other Spartans like a second family.” Alex explained
“Ahhh so that's why you were so close.”
“Don't ahhh me, you sound like an Elite and no there was,” Alex looked away before continuing “More to it than that, we talked a lot, about everything going on, what we wanted to do after boot camp, but we never talked about our pasts though wasn't any point in it. Anyway, about halfway through our training I realized I had a crush on her, didn't know what to do about it though I wasn't…” she racked her brain for how to continue. She wanted to say old enough to understand, but that was classified, she was already pushing her luck revealing the third generation of spartans earlier, and even though they were on an uncharted course to the middle of nowhere ONI had ears everywhere, she finally settled on. “Experienced in romance enough.”
“I'm sensing a but there?” Kendra said nodding for her to go on.
“Me and Cody got pulled from the main unit after some test, they took us out of the barracks in the middle of the night.” A wave of sadness washed over her “Didn't even get to tell her goodbye…”
Kendra gasped softly “That's awful. I'm sorry Alex.”
If only you knew the entire story. Alex thought bitterly, Kat had been the first friend she had made after the fall of her homeworld only for her to be ripped away just as Alex had finally begun to work out her feelings for her. “That's not even the worst part. We met again years later when me and Cody got transferred to Noble team. We had both changed, in a lot of ways.” She thought back to that first icy stare she had thrown at both her and Cody when they entered the FOB three months ago, God has it really only been three months?
She shook off the despair that threatened to take hold and continued her story “It was odd at first but then as we fought together in less than a month everything came flooding back like some sort of floodgate was opened including my crush.” Alex looked back up at Kendra and found her at rapt attention. She kept going “You heard about what happened on Reach?” Kendra nodded “We were caught in the middle of the battle for New Alexandria and even with the bullets and plasma flying all around I didn't want to be anywhere else, I fought with her for a week running from foxhole to foxhole. I had never felt more alive… then the Covenant started to glass the city.”
“Oh, God…” Kendra whispered
Alex laughed a mirthless laugh “Oh it gets better, we were running for shelter and then… and then…” she felt bile coming up in her chest again her closing in on itself.
“Go on Alex, what happened next?” Kat asked in a prodding whisper right in her ear.
She was lost in the memory now just like before “A sniper put a needle rifle round right through her helmet.” Her vision grew blurry as tears began to fill her eye but she kept talking, closing her eye tightly trying to keep from letting the tears out “Sh-she never even had a chance, and when we got into the shelter we got her helmet off and her face god, the blood-” she was interrupted by a choking sob as the image of Kat's perforated head filled her mind.
Suddenly she felt arms wrap around her and pull her into a tight hug, for a moment she was confused, only a select few people had ever hugged her before and only one of them was still alive. Finally, she opened her eye and saw Kendra or more accurately overtop of Kendra's head she quickly disentangled herself and jumped backward. Kendra sniffled softly, was she crying as well? Why, it hadn't happened to her. “Sorry, I'm sorry It's just… that's terrible to have happened to you. I couldn't even imagine…” She trailed off
“It's better that you don't, now do you see why I didn't want to talk?” Alex asked, hoping she had succeeded in proving her point. She didn't need anyone else to suffer on her behalf; she was plenty capable of that herself.
Kendra nodded, wiping away her tears “But I don't regret pushing you to do it. I said earlier that it's nice to see you as a human and I meant it, even more so now.”
“What?” Alex shook her head multiple times “No, no you shouldn't, that's not what I was made for, I was made to fight. Nothing else.”
“You don't get it do you?” Kendra asked, her eyes locking onto Alex's “The effect you have on people?”
“What are you-?” Alex was cut off as the door to her room opened and Cody appeared.
“Sorry to interrupt but we've gotta get armored up sis, like now.” He emphasized “Mac said to come get you we don’t have much-” In Amber Clad's alarms began to blare. “Time”
Cortana’s voice echoed over the PA system “All hands action stations action stations we are dropping out of slipspace in five minutes, Alpha through Charlie companies prepare for immediate deployment, this is not a drill. I repeat this is not a drill.”
Alex looked at Kendra then back at Cody “Go on ahead I'm right behind you.”
“I'll get your armor set out for you but make it snappy alright?” Cody said before running off down the hall.
When she looked back at her Kendra fixed Alex with a stern gaze “Promise me you'll make it through this and I'll tell you… deal?”
Alex searched the smaller woman's eyes and found steadfast determination she clearly wasn't going to take no for an answer “Okay, deal.”
“I'll hold you to it Spartan.” Kendra said as she stood up “See you out there.”
Alex nodded and waited for her to leave before calling out to Mac “How long were you watching?” She asked angrily.
“Ever since you first entered the room.” The AI admitted.
Alex glared over at the wall mounted comm display where the AI had appeared “And?”
“And what?”
“No comment? Not gonna report me to the Commander?”
“No, you seem to have all the help you need already.” Alex felt her cheeks heat up ever so slightly. “Now come along it's time to get dressed, I think you're going to enjoy what we found.”
She nodded and quickly changed into her tech suit and grabbing the AI chip from her desk holding it out to the comm display Macmillan transferred himself into the chip and once he was settled; she began marching to the armory with something she hadn't had in months. A reason to fight besides anger.