Work Text:
Renjun can quite confidently say that this awful first date is entirely Chenle’s fault.
Because even though he’s the idiot that dragged himself out of bed- where he’d much rather be- to dress nicely and show up at this abysmal restaurant, it’s Chenle who made it his personal mission to talk Renjun into going out with strangers in the hopes that one would stick. Very insulting, Renjun thinks.
The date he’s on right now is definitely not sticking. In fact, it’s an absolute nightmare. He’s sure Chenle suggested this guy as a mean-spirited prank, which is why Renjun is hiding in the back alley of the restaurant, angrily jabbing Chenle’s number from memory into the phone he had to borrow from a waiter.
He had forgotten to take his as he left for the ‘bathroom’, the third time he’s used that excuse in the last hour. He almost hopes Daniel will think he has some severe UTI and stop trying to proposition him.
“I’m so pissed at you,” he hisses when the call connects, not waiting for a hello.
“This is the worst first date I’ve ever been on. The food is terrible and he spent half the time talking about his hot cheater ex. The other half was him eating like he has holes in his mouth and running his grimy sneakers up my jeans. He invited me to his place after this but I don’t know how to tell him no. I don’t know how you found this man or if this is a set-up but help. me. ”
The silence on the other end goes on for so long that Renjun moves the phone away from his ear to check if the call actually went through. The timer on the screen indicates that it did.
“You better not be laughing right now,” he warns through the receiver.
“Okay,” a stranger starts, with amusement in his tone, “I’m not who you meant to call, but you definitely got my attention, so I’m not gonna hang up.”
Oh shit. “Chenle?”
“Nope,” comes the cheerful reply through the receiver. “But I’m quite the expert on getting out of sticky situations, so I can help if you want.”
If Chenle was here, he’d lose his absolute shit at the thought of Renjun taking advice from anyone, let alone a stranger. But Chenle not being here is the crux of the problem, and desperate times call for desperate measures.
“Fine,” Renjun surrenders as he folds himself further out of sight behind an overflowing dumpster.
“Despite the fact that you’re phoning a friend just to figure out how to say no to a first date, I’m going to assume you’re not a teenager,” the mystery man starts.
“That’s very rude, I’ll have you know I am a full-grown adult. And I do know how to reject people,” Renjun feels his brows furrow.
“Are you or are you not currently hiding behind a garbage bin?”
Renjun groans. “Just tell me.”
“Give me your number and go back to your table. I’ll call you in five minutes with an emergency. You’re gonna leave right away, go home, and block that man forever. Easy right?”
It is easy. Renjun deflates in relief at the solution, but catches himself before he forgets where he is and leans against the side of the bin.
“I couldn’t trouble you like that,” Renjun argues for the sake of it.
“Are you kidding? This is the most interesting thing I’d be doing today,” the other guy is clearly smiling. “Do you need a pep talk?”
“No, I’m good,” Renjun responds, and rattles off his phone number. “I can do this.”
“Yeah you can!” the voice cheers. “Okay, get back in there. I’m about to come up with the worst emergency anyone’s ever experienced. Be prepared to run.”
“I will,” Renjun straightens his collar. “Okay, I’m going.”
Renjun hangs up and returns the phone to the waiter before going back to his table, where his date is gulping down wine at a record speed. Luckily, it’s only a couple more minutes of torture before his phone lights up on cue. Renjun flashes an apologetic smile and picks up the call, turning up the volume enough that his date can hear it.
“Hello?” Renjun answers.
“Thank god you picked up!” the guy starts yelling.
Renjun scrunches his face in an effort not to laugh and hopes it comes across as worried.
“I’ve been in a horrible accident…babe. Please help me, the walls are closing in.”
“Oh no,” Renjun puts on his most serious expression. Across from him, Daniel frowns. “I’ll be right there!”
The call ends and Renjun turns back to the table. “I’m so sorry, I have to go,” he gestures at his phone, pretending to be upset.
“Don’t worry about it,” Daniel waves his hands, motioning Renjun to leave. “Although, you should have told me that you were seeing someone else as well.”
“Huh?” Renjun replies, confused.
“The person called you babe,” Daniel points out.
“Oh right. It’s… complicated. But yeah, I really have to go, thank you for dinner,” Renjun picks up his things and stands quickly. “It was nice to meet you,” he throws out before hightailing it out of the restaurant.
In the first cab he manages to hail, he types out a message.
Renjun
Thank you for helping me
But also… babe? Really?
Unknown
It only occurred to me when I called that I didn’t know your name!! Had to come up with smth fast
I take it our mission was successful
Renjun
Oh. I’m renjun. And yes, I escaped
Unknown
Hello renjun!! :)
I'm jaemin
And you’re so welcome, I had fun
Renjun
That makes one of us, at least
Unknown
Hahaha
Def a story I’ll be sharing at parties
I’m actually headed to one rn, so I’ll have to cut our convo short
Have a good rest of the night, Renjun :)
Renjun
Thanks, enjoy your party. :)
Renjun turns off his phone and catches himself smiling. In hindsight, it is a pretty funny sequence of events, but one he doesn’t need a repeat of ever again. He leans back against the seat and watches the bustle of the city through the windows, content to forget about the whole ordeal.
//
Chenle apologises for the horrible date the next time they meet, appropriately sheepish. He also pays for Renjun’s bubble tea as a token of penance, which Renjun begrudgingly accepts.
“No more dates,” Renjun still warns. “If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.”
Chenle scoffs. “That’s if people can find you. You’re in your studio all the time.”
“And what about it?” Renjun argues. “I’m happy in my studio, and I make money off it. Way better than entertaining men, in my books.”
“I get it, you’re an artist, you’re rich,” Chenle rolls his eyes, as if he himself isn’t ridiculously wealthy. “It’s still not as good company as an actual person.”
“That’s why I have friends like you, isn’t it?” Renjun sips at his drink, looking around the park they’re walking through. “To bother me from time to time. It’s more than enough for me.”
Chenle looks at him, the corners of his lips flattened, clearly unimpressed.
“Three more dates,” he bargains, and Renjun groans. “If it still doesn’t work out then I’ll drop it forever, I swear!”
Renjun kicks at the rocks along the path, scowling.
“Come on, ge,” comes the final tug on Renjun’s resolve.
“Fine!” Renjun spins back around, raising his fist with the pinky finger extended to Chenle’s face. Seeing how Chenle doesn’t even flinch, it’s probably not as threatening as Renjun hoped it’d be. “Only three. And if they don’t go well, you pay for my bubble tea forever.”
Chenle hooks his pinky finger around Renjun’s with ease, satisfied. “Deal.”
//
A week later, Renjun’s phone vibrates from its precarious position on the windowsill. In the pin-drop silence of the studio, its sound startles Renjun badly out of his critical examination of his newest work.
Looking at the clock above the studio door, he can only think of a few people who’d be texting him at 2am. Either Mark, with a new voice recording of a new tune he’s producing (“You’re like, the only other artistic guy I know dude, your input is valuable”) or Chenle and one of those obscure Chinese memes from Douyin. Renjun uses the cloth hanging off his easel to wipe off as much paint as he can from his hands before picking up his phone.
To his surprise, it’s neither of them.
Unknown
Hey Renjun! :)
It’s jaemin btw in case you’ve deleted our chat
Are you free right now? I kinda need a favour
Immediately, Renjun’s interest is piqued.
Renjun
Hi jaemin
:)
What’s up?
Unknown
I’m kind of stuck with a guy and need an out
None of my friends are responding to me
Do you think you could give me a call?
Renjun can’t help but laugh.
Renjun
Sure. What emergency level should I make it?
Unknown
Nothing serious, just enough for me to look distracted and get away haha
Renjun huffs a quiet laugh and hits dial next to the unsaved contact. Jaemin picks up right after the first ring and the first thing Renjun registers is that it’s loud, with electronic dance music and the sheer noise that comes with crowds, clearly a club of some sort.
“I’m sorry, I have to take this,” a tinny voice yells in the background before speaking into the receiver. “Hey, Renjun! What’s up?”
Renjun is confident he isn’t on speaker, so he’s free to make shit up. There’s a small movement in the corner of the studio ceiling that he tracks easily. He rests his free hand on his waist and observes, “There’s a huge lizard in my studio.”
Jaemin gasps exaggeratedly, “No!”
“Yes,” he continues solemnly. “It’s humongous. It might be a dinosaur, even.”
“Oh no, that’s terrible!”
“It really is. Please come and save me.”
“Oh no, right now? Is it that urgent?”
“Definitely, I think it’s about to eat me.”
“Well in that case, I’ll go over now! Hold on a moment.”
Renjun waits as Jaemin speaks to the other person again, and listens as he clearly moves through the crowd, until there’s a sudden stillness, a clear indication that Jaemin had left the place he’d been in.
“Phew! What a nightmare. Thanks for helping me out.”
“No problem,” Renjun replies, sitting back down on his stool. “Bad date?”
“Nah,” Jaemin laughs, voice smooth and bright. “He’s a client, that’s why I couldn’t afford to offend him.”
“Oh,” Renjun says slowly, trying to put the pieces together. “Are you a stripper or something?”
“What?” Jaemin laughs again. “What gave you that idea?”
“Well, you’re meeting your clients in a club,” Renjun defends, a little embarrassed.
“It’s just for networking, I was forced to come,” Jaemin explains. “I’m a photographer, so my work depends a lot on connections and word of mouth.”
That’s something Renjun can understand. “That must be hard,” he offers.
Jaemin seems undeterred. “Yeah, but it’s part of the job. Oh well! Hope I didn’t interrupt your night, though. Unless you were on another bad date, then you’re welcome.”
It takes a moment for Renjun to register the joke. “Ah. No, not tonight.”
“Not tonight? So there’ll be more to come?” There’s the sound of a car being unlocked and the rustle of fabric.
“Unfortunately. My friend is very insistent that he can find the perfect guy for me, and I’ve agreed to go along with it for a while, despite my better judgement.”
“Blind dates not your thing?”
Renjun usually avoids talking to strangers, much less volunteering information about himself, but Jaemin is so nice and earnest that he finds himself enjoying the conversation.
“I’m more of the ‘when the right time comes’ kind of person.”
“Wow, that’s romantic,” Jaemin replies. His voice sounds a little farther away, like he’s put the call on speaker. “Like believing in destiny and all that.”
“You sound a little sarcastic there,” Renjun jokes. In front of him, the half-finished canvas is beginning to dry. Renjun rubs at a corner with his free hand, smearing the yellow paint enough to create the hazy detail he’d been going for. It’s nowhere near what he’d envisioned it to be.
“Of course not!” Jaemin assures. “Everyone has their reasons, and they’re all valid! I’m not really into dating right now either.”
“Oh?” Renjun continues to scratch at the paint. It comes off the canvas and digs into his skin under his fingernails.
Jaemin hums. “For less romantic reasons than yours, though. I just prefer to work. Although my best friend’s just like yours in that he tries to throw me to anyone he deems acceptable.”
“Best friends do that,” Renjun smiles faintly at the reminder. “Meddle.”
“And meddle he does. Still, I enjoy how things are going right now, and that’s good enough for me,” Jaemin replies cheerfully. There’s the sound of an engine cutting off, then a short gasp.
“Gosh, I had no idea it was this late. I’m sorry for keeping you up,” Jaemin says. “Thank you again for helping me.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Renjun doesn’t share that 3am is nowhere near his usual bedtime. There’s a short pause before Renjun continues, “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight Renjun,” Jaemin says. “Sleep well! Don’t be a stranger.”
Renjun hangs up and places his phone back at the window. As the usual quiet of the studio falls back into place back into place, it makes him feel strangely bereft.
Renjun turns back to his canvas, examining the harsh lines, the discordant colours. It looks as uninspired as he feels. With a sigh, he picks up the small tub of white paint at his feet and splashes its contents onto the canvas with a smooth sweep, erasing his work in seconds.
//
Doyoung shows up at the studio bright and early, startling Renjun awake from his slump on the table in the corner.
“Don’t tell me you slept here last night,” Doyoung warns, stepping carefully across the plastic tarp towards him. He holds a bulky paper bag with the name of a nearby bakery printed across the front and a disposable coffee cup that he slides neatly in front of Renjun.
“Okay, then I won’t tell you,” Renjun says tiredly as he sits up and stretches.
Doyoung tsks, but the hand he uses to smooth Renjun’s hair off his face is gentle. “Maybe I should start locking you out of the studio again.”
“I’d bite you,” Renjun warns. “It’s just until I finish the last two pieces for the showcase.”
Doyoung turns to look at the easel with the newly blank canvas. “I see it’s not quite going to plan.”
“No,” Renjun sighs. He pushes the heavy books he’d been reading before he fell asleep aside. His attempt to try to find inspiration through a different medium had been largely unsuccessful.
“Maybe a change of scenery would help?” Doyoung suggests.
Renjun groans. “If this is your way of telling me I need to go outside more…”
“That too, but actually I came to give you this,” Doyoung pulls out a pamphlet from his messenger bag. Renjun takes it and scans the headline.
“An exhibition?” Renjun guesses.
“Mixed media,” Doyoung confirms. “Supported by many of our own gallery sponsors. There’ll be quite a few new artists. Maybe it’ll give you new perspective.”
Renjun sighs. “You know I don’t like to mingle.”
“It’s an interesting lineup this time, I promise. Most of the artists are young like you too. Even if it doesn’t resonate with you artistically, it doesn’t hurt to make friends! Broaden your network.”
Renjun wonders what it is about him that makes people desperate to find him company, then promptly decides that it’s not worth going down that trail of thought.
“Fine,” he gives in, too tired to argue.
Doyoung nods, pleased. “I’ll send you an invitation.” He ruffles Renjun’s hair. “Now come on. I know you’ll refuse to leave the studio when you’re working, so I brought breakfast. You never eat enough.”
Renjun wants to argue, but remembers that Doyoung would probably just nag at him again, so he bites his tongue and takes the croissant Doyoung pulls out from his paper bag.
//
Jaemin
[photo attached]
Is this anything like the lizard that was in your living room?
Renjun
What is that?!??
Jaemin
Monitor lizard! It’s a big boy
Renjun
That’s definitely not the lizard I had in mind…
My lizard is a gecko named Bruce and he’s very polite
Jaemin
:0
He’s a pet?
Renjun
Not really
He just hangs out in my studio sometimes
Jaemin
Cute!
Maybe this guy can be my Bruce
Renjun
Really? Are you a big wildlife guy?
Jaemin
Nope! I just like weird things:)
Renjun
… you just reminded me of someone :/
Jaemin
Oh no. Another date?
Renjun
Yeah, last night
He was…
Jaemin
Soooo curious!
I’m about to drive so I can’t really text
But if you give me a call I’d love to hear all about it!
Renjun
Okay
Jaemin cackles for five minutes before he can even formulate a response, and Renjun can’t help but giggle along, covering his mouth with the sleeve of his hoodie to muffle the sound. Across the train carriage, a middle-aged lady shoots him a dirty look.
“So he just came straight out and told you he’s into feet?”
“You’re missing the point,” Renjun clarifies. “He’s into dirty feet. Like taking off my socks after a long day and sticking it right under his nostrils.”
Jaemin laughs again, a surprisingly little wheezy thing in contrast to his deeper talking voice. Renjun can’t help but think it’s kind of sweet.
“How did you get out of there?” Jaemin asks.
“After he asked me to go home with him for the third time, I pretended to use the bathroom and ran out the back door.”
“That sounds familiar,” Jaemin teases. “You could have just asked me to call you again.”
“Ah well, I had to learn to be brave. And most people have better things to do on a Friday night than help out strangers.”
The train reaches Renjun’s stop, and he hurries to squeeze through the crowd to get to the doors. It had been his own ego that made him refuse Chenle’s offer to pick him up for their weekly dinner, and now he’s paying for his folly with this serious invasion of his personal space. This is why he never leaves his studio.
As he speed-walks across the platform, Renjun presses his phone closer to his ear to hear Jaemin better.
“Strangers? I think we’re past that, no?” Jaemin clicks his tongue. “We’ve rescued each other in times of need, and we text. That automatically makes us friends, I think.”
Renjun flushes.
“I guess you’re right, sorry. We’ve never met, so I just thought…”
“Ah, Renjun-ssi, if you wanted to know what I look like you could have just asked,” Jaemin’s voice turns low and sultry through the phone.
“That’s not-” Renjun huffs, ignoring the trill down his spine. “You’re teasing me again, aren’t you.”
“Maybe a little,” Jaemin says, back to his usual cheery tone. “You sound cute when you’re flustered.”
Renjun stumbles and almost bumps into the teenager standing next to him at the crossing. Cute?
“I’m not cute,” Renjun argues, fighting through the butterflies in his stomach. “I’m 24.”
“No? I’ve been imagining you as an adorable little romantic who’s too polite to hurt people’s feelings.”
“ Little??”
“Is that the only thing you heard?”
“Only because it’s not true!”
“Ah, a cutie with a complex.”
Renjun is dismayed to hear the sound of protest that he lets out coming off more whiny than anything.
“I’m sorry, did I upset you?” Jaemin asks, quieter now. “I tease my friends a lot, it’s a habit. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not uncomfortable,” Renjun admits. “It’s fine. My friends tease me plenty too.”
“So it’s okay with you if I call you cute?”
“I guess?” Renjun’s cheeks may never go back to their usual colour.
“Good, good.”
“Yeah.”
“Mhm.”
Renjun panics.
“Uhm, I have to go. I’m reaching my friend’s place.” Lies. He’s still three streets away from Chenle’s gated community.
“Okay cutie. Talk to you soon!”
Renjun ends the call and his phone screen goes dark by default. His blush is deep enough that it reflects on the glossy surface.
“No,” Renjun tells his reflection sternly, and stuffs his phone into his pocket.
//
Over dinner, Mark plays them a snippet of the new song he’s working on. When it ends, Chenle groans loudly.
“I think I need to barf,” he mimes retching into his bowl of noodles.
Renjun rolls his eyes at him, before turning to smile at Mark.
“It’s really romantic. I’ve never heard you do a love song before.”
“A love song that isn’t horny,” Chenle corrects. “Marriage really changes a guy, huh?”
“I guess,” Mark smiles dopily, looking down at his phone lockscreen. Renjun feels a little pang in his chest.
Mark has always been the epitome of confidence. Not the cocky, brash kind when people took it too far, but the quiet, easy assurance of recognising something good and trusting that it’ll work out. And it always does, because it’s Mark. It was a big part of the reason for Renjun’s debilitating, embarrassing crush on him when they were still in high school.
It’s also that confidence that spurred Mark on to marry the love of his life at 25 after barely a year of dating. Renjun still remembers the midnight group Facetime Mark had hosted from a Las Vegas chapel, where he told them he was going to get married in 10 minutes.
He had argued calmly against Renjun’s gently-phrased concerns and Chenle’s indignant squawks: “It doesn’t matter if we’ve been dating one year or ten, I’ll never want anyone else. Yes, I’m sure. No Chenle, I don’t want a big wedding ceremony, we’re doing it here and now, stop screaming.”
Renjun wonders if he’s ever felt that sure about anyone, or anything for that matter. The feeling of envy is something he’s long familiar with, so he swallows it down, easily masked by how genuinely happy he is for his friend.
“I still can’t believe you eloped,” Chenle grumbles. “My only chance to be a best man, ruined.”
“Hey, you still have Renjun’s wedding,” Mark says.
“I don’t think I’ll ever live to see that day,” Chenle mutters.
Renjun stabs pointedly at a piece of fish with his chopsticks.
“I’ll make sure you don’t,” he says sweetly in Mandarin.
“Haha, anyway how are those dates going?” Mark says nervously, the way he always does when they lapse into their mother tongue. “No one caught your eye so far?”
“They’re definitely eye-catching,” Renjun grimaces. “Brow-raising, vomit-inducing…”
“Oh please, Sunoo wasn’t that bad,” Chenle waves his hand dismissively.
“He pretended to drop his spoon so that he could look at my feet under the table!”
“Wow,” Mark blinks. “That is weird, dude.”
Renjun gloats a little from Mark’s support, though he can’t help but compare it to Jaemin’s reaction and how much more vindicated he’d felt there.
“Normal guys are harder to find than you think, okay?” Chenle snips, gesturing in agitation. “At least I’m making sure he puts himself out there! If it was up to Renjun, he’d only talk to the two of us for the rest of his life. Doyoung hyung doesn’t count because he’s his manager.”
Untrue! Renjun wants to argue so badly. I am talking to someone else, and even though I’ve never met him, I found him all by myself, so take that!
Instead, he remembers Chenle’s innate need to pry and keeps silent.
“I have some friends who are cool and would be down to date. What are you looking for?” Mark offers.
Renjun’s answer hasn’t changed from the one he gave Chenle in the beginning. “I’ll know when I meet the right guy. It shouldn't be a checklist, but a feeling, y’know? The feeling of it just being right.” Like you and Jeno , Renjun wants to say.
“He’s really going to die alone,” Chenle tilts his head towards the ceiling and moans.
But Mark shoots Renjun a reassuring smile. “I know what you mean.” A gentle pat on the shoulder. “There’s someone perfect out there for you, Renjunnie, don’t lose hope.”
Renjun’s throat closes at the sudden comment, striking a chord he didn’t even know existed. He swallows around the dryness and musters a small, grateful smile at Mark before catapulting fried tofu into Chenle’s lap, eager to change the topic.
//
There’s a beautiful man in Doyoung’s office when Renjun visits on a Tuesday morning. It makes him feel inadequate, standing at the doorway in his paint-stained black jumper and loose jeans.
Both the man and Doyoung look up when Renjun knocks, the coffee table between them covered with professionally-printed photographs. Renjun sees the way the man blinks rapidly as he surveys Renjun, as though confused.
“Give us a minute?” Doyoung says to Renjun. “We were just finishing up.”
Renjun nods awkwardly and retreats to the couches right outside the office. Above the reception desk, one of Renjun’s painting hangs neatly in a gold-embossed frame. It’d been from the first exhibition he and Doyoung had done together, and it hangs in sight of everyone that passes by to enter the main gallery, a point of pride. Renjun thinks about the work he has now and can’t help but wince.
Doyoung had sent an incredibly detailed email listing the things Renjun needs to do before his showcase the night before, and it’s driving him up the wall, seeing how his last two canvases are still blank. His artist block is going to be the cause of his early demise, because Doyoung is absolute hell when it comes to sticking to deadlines, regardless of his affection for Renjun. If it comes down to it, Renjun might end up getting pinned directly onto those empty canvases so that there’s something to display.
Footsteps ring out across the wooden floorboards, and Renjun stands instinctively as the man appears from Doyoung’s office holding a large manila envelope, likely filled with the photos Renjun had gotten a glimpse of. At closer glance, his features are more striking, even with the black-rimmed glasses and dark hair covering his forehead. When he pauses a few feet from Renjun to place the envelope into his messenger bag, Renjun notices how he’s almost a full head taller than himself.
The man looks up when he senses Renjun’s presence and pauses as their eyes meet. On instinct, Renjun smiles slightly. His stomach flips with an unknown emotion when the man blinks before returning his smile. His lips part, as if about to speak. Renjun feels himself hold his breath.
A clatter rings out from behind the man and Doyoung appears, blithely unaware.
“I’ll send you an email by the end of the week after I view your material,” Doyoung says to the man. “It shouldn’t take too long.”
The man jerks slightly, turning to face Doyoung. Slowly, Renjun exhales.
“Thank you,” the man says in a low voice, so quiet Renjun barely catches it.
The man turns back to face Renjun, giving him a polite nod, before moving past him and disappearing down the stairs. Renjun catches himself staring and turns to follow Doyoung into his office.
“Who was that?” He can’t help asking.
Doyoung slides into his office chair and gestures for Renjun to take the seat across from him.
“A new artist I’m inviting for the exhibition. He’s new to our area, so he’s doing it for exposure, but his portfolio is already pretty impressive overseas,” Doyoung explains. He taps something into his laptop, before turning it for Renjun to see. “What do you think?”
It’s clearly a digital portfolio, with galleries of photos and minimal text. The focus is diverse, as Renjun spots silhouettes, landscapes, animals. One of the larger images shows an outstretched hand against a dark background, gold paint lining the wrinkled lines across the subject’s palm like a web.
“He’s good,” Renjun observes. He points at the right bottom corner where a signature is embossed. “Na?”
“His artist alias,” Doyoung explains. “If you’re interested, I’ll send you the link to his site.”
“Now,” Doyoung continues, turning the laptop back to face himself. “You would never come find me just to chat, so out with it. What’s wrong?”
“I’m here to beg for mercy,” Renjun says. He leans forward and clasps his hands together, holding them under his chin. According to Chenle, nobody’s ever been able to say no to him when he looks like that. “Can’t we do the showcase with what I’ve already given you?”
Doyoung sighs, sitting back in his chair.
“We can,” he replies. “But there’s no focal piece that we can center your showcase around. There’s still two weeks to go, isn’t there still time to come up with something?”
“That’s not how it works,” Renjun argues. “I haven’t been this burnt out since I was in college.”
“Okay, well, what got you out of it then?”
“My ex broke up with me,” Renjun deadpans.
Doyoung’s expression changes to be appropriately embarrassed.
“Ah. Well that won’t work.”
He taps his fingers against the table consideringly.
“We can scale down your showcase and market it as more of a preview to keep your sponsorships. Maybe use it to extend the time you have until the next one. I’ll think about it.”
“That would be great,” Renjun nods eagerly. “Thank you.”
“I’m always on your side, Renjun,” Doyoung replies seriously. “I would never push you to do things you don’t want to. As long as this is really just an issue of burnout and not something bigger that you’re not telling me.”
“It isn’t.” It can’t be. “I’ll figure it out.”
Doyoung looks at him before nodding. “If you say so.”
//
“Another weird one?” Jaemin doesn’t hang up after Renjun hurries out of the restaurant, leaving another of Chenle’s bad ideas behind.
“Disrespectful if anything,” Renjun replies as he walks down the street to the convenience store he’s spotted. He’d left before the food even came this time, and he’s hungry enough to settle for junk.
“He said art was a waste of time immediately after I explained my work.”
Jaemin is quiet for a moment before he replies. “Bastard.”
Renjun lets out a startled laugh. “Wow.”
“I’m serious, you should have put me on speaker so I could cuss him out before you left. You tell him something that’s important to you, and his first thought is to be demeaning? Bitch move.”
Renjun smiles. As he talks to Jaemin more, he feels like he has a good idea of the kind of person Jaemin is: witty, easygoing, but still practical, and quick to call things for what they are. All qualities that Renjun appreciates.
“I’ll let you know if I ever see him again so that you can say it to his face. Oh, he also ended that conversation by describing his car and its fully reclinable seats to me in great detail, then invited me to ‘take a ride’ in it.”
“Maybe you should give your friend a serious talking to about the kind of people he’s introducing you to. None of them have been very nice so far.”
“He’s doing it for my character building, I think,” Renjun replies as he enters the store, a cheerful little ding announcing his entrance. The cashier ignores him completely as he scans the aisles for something that looks appetising. “That or he’s trying to turn me off dating forever, jury’s still out.”
“I’ll say. It’s so effective he’s making me afraid to date.”
Renjun pauses in his reach to grab a sandwich off the shelf.
“Are you…actually going on a date?”
“I’m just thinking about it. Remember my best friend? He’s been dying to get me to meet more people since I moved here, and apparently there’s a really cute guy his partner knows.”
There’s a funny feeling in Renjun’s chest that he can’t place. He chooses to interpret it as excitement.
“That could be fun! You should do it.”
“I’m going to be honest, after hearing all your horror stories, I’m not really holding my breath.”
“Hey,” Renjun takes the sandwich and a bag of chips to the counter. “I’m sure you’ll meet better people than I have. And maybe I’m the problem, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
“No! Don’t say that!”
“I’m not being self-deprecating, just stating a fact,” Renjun takes his food to the tables outside the store after paying, all unoccupied. The seasons are changing quickly, and nobody wants to be outside in the early autumn wind. “When the only common factor in these situations has been me, it’s not a far reach.”
“The people you’ve met just weren’t right for you, Renjun. It doesn’t mean it’s your fault, I wouldn’t have vibed with your dates either.”
“Yeah, I know. I just can’t help feeling a little hopeless at this point,” Renjun sniffs in the cold as he unwraps the sandwich. Chenle’s laments echo in his head. “I keep thinking the right guy will just fall into my lap, but I’m starting to see how ridiculous that is. Maybe it’s not as simple as just ‘having a feeling’. Maybe I just have to make the best of what I’ve got.”
“No.” The severity in Jaemin’s voice catches Renjun off-guard. “Don’t let these situations get into your head, okay? Maybe it’s not as straightforward or easy as recognising the perfect guy right off the bat, but that feeling you’re looking for will come when you meet the person with the right qualities for you. It probably won’t be a complete match, but it’ll be enough for you to feel good about them, to know it’s something worth pursuing. Just keep an open heart till then.”
“You’re a great catch, Renjun, don’t settle. You deserve so much more than that.”
Renjun feels his stomach twisting, though he isn’t sure if it’s because of the sandwich or Jaemin’s words. It’s quiet over the receiver, and Renjun finds himself at a loss to respond, so he resorts to his usual diffuser- humour.
“How do you know I’m a great catch? I could be balding.”
“I doubt it. You sound like you have hair. You’ve got a hairy personality.”
The laughter bubbles up from Renjun’s throat. “That’s disgusting, what does that even mean?”
Jaemin’s voice is light, almost fond. “I don’t know, but it made you laugh.”
They talk until Renjun finishes his sandwich, but Renjun doesn’t stop smiling even long after he gets back to his studio.
//
Group Name: evil lurks here
Mark
Injunnieeee
Jeno’s friend says he’s free for lunch next Saturday!
Jeno and I will be there too so it’s like a double date
That way it won’t be so much pressure
Chenle
I have a competitor now 😡
Mark
Dude
Not my fault the last one sucked
Chenle
🙂
I know where you live
Renjun
Both of you be quiet
I’m trying to do my job and you’re killing my vibe
@mark sure i’ll go
//
“It was so boring, so I came back to my studio. My friend had brought a whole group of people, so I don’t think he even notices I’ve disappeared,” Jaemin says. Renjun adjusts his phone as he holds it against his ear with his shoulder. His hands are dripping with paint, but when Jaemin had called, it didn’t occur to Renjun that he could just call him back after. After the numerous calls back and forth, neither of them have ever missed one.
“Didn’t you find anyone worth talking to?” Renjun asks. “You were in a club on a Friday night, half of the city’s probably in there.”
“A few came up to me, but I didn’t meet anyone worth my attention. None of them made me stop in my tracks or want to take a second glance.”
“I think I know what you mean,” Renjun replies. “I saw someone like that the other day.”
Jaemin gasps. “Why have you been letting me moan about my boring night out when you met someone interesting?”
“Met is a strong word, I saw him for less than a minute and we didn’t even speak,” Renjun says. “But he was…yeah. He was really good-looking.”
“Nooooo,” Jaemin laments. “Will you get to see him again?”
“Maybe,” Renjun shrugs. “He’s part of an event my manager is hosting, so I’m sure we’ll meet at some point.”
“Promise me you’ll talk to him the next time,” Jaemin says.
“I don’t even know anything about him.”
“You have to start somewhere! If he’s worth a second look, he could be even better once you get to know him. Open your heart, remember?”
“Okay, okay,” Renjun surrenders. “Next time.”
“Good,” Jaemin replies. “Actually, I saw someone like that too. I almost tried talking to him but got cold feet at the last second. Talking you through this is also my way of convincing myself.”
Renjun’s phone buzzes against his ear.
“I think I’m getting another call, and it’s probably my manager. Can I call you back?” Renjun says apologetically.
“Oh sure! And don’t worry about calling me back, there’s some work I need to do anyway. Goodnight.”
Renjun uses a cloth to hold onto his phone as he switches calls. His guess is proven right when Doyoung’s voice rings out over the speaker.
“I have a proposition. Instead of condensing the space you’ll be using for your showcase, how about sharing it with another artist? I’ve just looked through Na’s submissions and they complement your themes really well. He’s an established photographer, and I felt bad putting him in the exhibition with rookies to begin with. Having a joint showcase befits his status better and also fills in the gaps in your work.”
“What are his themes?” Renjun asks, a little cautious. He’s never shared a space with another artist before.
“Youth, migration, searching for belonging,” Doyoung lists. “I can send you some of his drafts. I think it works out nicely, but it would be a new experience for you, so I’ll only ask him if you’re comfortable with it, seeing how both of you will have to talk and work together.”
It’s amusing how timely this opportunity is after just talking to Jaemin. Open your heart. “”Let me look at the drafts first. But I think it’s a good idea.”
“That’s great,” Doyoung replies, sounding relieved. “I’ll forward them to you now. Take your time to look at them and let me know your decision by the end of the week.”
Renjun hangs up and almost immediately, Doyoung’s email comes through with another buzz. He clicks on the attachment, and images in high resolution fill his screen immediately. They are definitely high quality, and clearly curated with an experienced eye for detail, much like the rest of the photographs he had seen on the digital portfolio.
Renjun scrolls slowly, and starts to pick out the themes they share in common, connecting the sequence in images. The storyline of Na’s work begins to come to life, and Renjun can see where his own work could fit between, resonating similar messages.
The last photograph makes Renjun lean closer to his phone screen. An arm angled downwards appears against a plain background, covered up to the wrist in a hanbok sleeve. While the rest of the image is in black and white, the hanbok is oversaturated in a deep red, with printed golden swirls glittering opulently. The subject suspends their hand loosely, with their index finger pointing towards the right of the frame. Renjun can’t bring himself to tear his eyes away, tracing the silhouettes and lines with intent focus.
When he finally does, it’s to reply to Doyoung’s email. I want to do it. Please ask him.
Renjun pulls out a blank canvas, covered under a linen cloth for the longest time, and places it on his easel. He regards his paints, before moving them away and pulling out a box of charcoal. He follows his instincts as he applies streaks of dark grey across the surface, ideas bubbling in his mind with urgency. Steadily, Renjun works to bring them to life.
//
Apart from taking a few short breaks in between, Renjun barely looks up from his easel, deep in his thoughts. It takes him a while to notice the insistent buzzing from the table behind him.
“Junnie?” Mark calls out over the receiver when Renjun finally picks up his phone. “It’s been half an hour since we got to the lunch place. Are you coming?”
“What?” Renjun replies confusedly. “What time is it?”
“It’s eleven. We were supposed to meet at ten thirty, remember? The double date?”
“Oh shit,” Renjun replies, registering the streaks of midday sunlight coming in from the windows for the first time. He’d started working at midnight. How did time pass so quickly? “Uhm, sorry, I was working.”
“That’s okay, can you still make it?” Mark sounds unsurprised by the revelation. It’s something he’s heard before numerous times.
“I don’t think so, I’m sorry,” Renjun grimaces. In his sudden clarity, the ache in his muscles from sitting upright for so long come out with a vengeance. He probably looks like hell, and there’s no way he’d be able to clean up enough and head to the other side of the city before the lunch hour is over. “You guys go ahead. Sorry for giving such a bad impression to Jeno’s friend.”
“Hey, it’s okay dude,” Mark says easily. “Things happen. Take care of yourself, okay?”
“Thanks Markie, see you soon.”
Renjun stretches as he places his phone back on the table, then turns back to look at his canvas. In grayscale, his answer to Na’s photograph spreads across the canvas, the most progress he’s made in weeks. A little delirious from the lack of sleep and incredibly relieved, Renjun huffs out a laugh.
//
Group Name: evil lurks here
Renjun
Did you guys get my email?
It’s the tickets for the showcase this weekend
Mark I sent you one for Jeno too
Chenle
I got it
Do I have to go
Renjun
Idk do you still want this 10 year friendship
Chenle
Damn
Mark
Hehehehe
Chenle
Wtf
Mark
We got it, thanks Junnie :)
Also, there’s a surprise for you
Renjun
What is it
Mark
We’ll tell you at the showcase
See you on Saturday!
Renjun
…Okay?
See you guys
Chenle do not wear sweatpants
//
Renjun
Hey Jaemin
Would you be free this weekend?
Jaemin
What’s this?
Is Renjun-ssi finally granting an audience for little old me? Be still, my heart
Renjun
Haha there’s a thing that I’ve got tickets for
Wanted to see if you have time
Jaemin
I’m actually busy with work, sorry :(
Maybe another time?
Renjun
It’s okay!
Yea let’s meet another time
//
Renjun hasn’t felt this nervous at a showcase in years. It isn’t because of his work - his usual sponsors and friends of the House are already moving around the space, oohing and ahhing at appropriate intervals.
It’s because the beautiful man he’d seen the last time is standing at the other end of the room, dressed in dark jeans and a black leather jacket. His hair is blonde this time, dark at the roots, and his glasses are nowhere to be seen, putting the sharp angles of his face in full display. Renjun had seen him enter five minutes ago, and he’s still trying to catch his breath.
The man - Na - is talking to one of the gallery sponsors. From the looks of it, it’s going well; the sponsor swooning with every smile Na directs her way. Renjun isn’t even the focus of those smiles, and yet he understands her completely.
Na turns to face the room and immediately locks eyes with Renjun, probably feeling the weight of his stare even from so far away. Renjun promptly panics and whirls around to stare at the display on the wall. It’s a few of Na’s landscape photographs, blown up to fill up the space. He waits for a few seconds before daring to turn back around, but when he does, Na has disappeared into the crowd.
“Get a grip,” Renjun mutters to himself. “He’s your collaborator, you have a reason to talk to him. Stop embarrassing yourself and just do it.”
Renjun squares his shoulders, preparing himself to look for the man in the crowd when his phone starts to ring. It’s Jaemin. Renjun retreats back to the wall to pick it up.
“Hey, so, remember the person I told you about? The one I almost talked to but then chickened out? I just saw him again,” Jaemin rushes out.
“That’s good, right?” Renjun encourages. “Go talk to him! Trust your instinct and all that, remember?”
“Yeah, just…maybe I’m more nervous than I thought. Renjun, he’s so pretty. He looked over at me and I swear my heart stopped.”
“If he has that effect on you, then it’s definitely worth a shot, right? Who knows? Maybe he thinks the same about you too.”
“I don’t know,” Jaemin says doubtfully. “I feel a bit hypocritical now. I’ve been telling you all this time to follow your heart and pursue what feels right, and yet here I am, hiding in the bathroom.”
“You also told me to trust the process,” Renjun reminds him. “If a five minute pep talk from me is what you need, it’s part of the process too. Believe in yourself! There must be a reason why you’re getting another chance to see this person again.”
“Destiny right?” Jaemin muses. “Okay, I feel better. I’m going to go find him.”
“Great! Tell me how it goes,” Renjun smiles. “You got this.”
“Yeah,” Jaemin puffs out a long breath. “Thanks, Renjun. Talk to you later.”
Renjun puts his phone back into his pocket, turning back to his mission with renewed vigour. Who knew talking to Jaemin would also boost his own confidence?
Renjun walks along the perimeter of the room in an attempt to look casual, scanning the faces in the crowd with no luck. He comes to a stop somewhere in the middle, right in front of his latest work. As he idles, he bends slightly to read Doyoung’s careful labelling of the charcoal work in the bottom right corner, copied directly from the email Renjun had sent. Title of Work: A Response - 感应 (Empathy; Telepathy)
Before he can straighten up again, there’s a gentle tap on his shoulder. When Renjun turns, Na is standing right behind him. There’s an anxious pinch between his brows that Renjun can’t understand.
“Hi,” Na finally speaks. “Huang Injun, right?”
Renjun watches his lips move, still trying to understand why the man looks terrified, that it takes him a few seconds to recognise the voice.
No. No way.
Renjun stumbles backwards, covering his mouth with one hand. Immediately, the man in front of him lurches forward, as if to catch him.
“No!” Renjun flails. “ Jaemin?”
Jaemin startles at the sound of his own name, before his mouth drops open as he visibly puts the pieces together. “ Renjun ?”
“Oh my god,” Renjun sags against the wall. Reality hits him again, and he starts to laugh into his hand, loud and uncontrollable. “Oh my god.”
Jaemin looks like his brain has stopped working altogether. “It was you?” He asks slowly, like he’s solving a very difficult puzzle. “You’re Huang Injun?”
“Na? Na Jaemin?” Renjun asks in return. “Why did I never think to ask you for your last name?”
“I don’t know,” Jaemin replies, still clearly winded. Suddenly, he seems to recall something, and his face pales.
“Oh my god. I freaked out over the phone with you about talking to the 'cute guy' just ten minutes ago, when the cute guy was actually you all along,” Jaemin squats and covers his face with his hands with a shudder. “Just kill me now and save me from this humiliation.”
Everything seems to come to a pause, the noise around them drained away in an instant. “What?”
“What do you mean? You were talking about me?” Renjun asks, ears filling with static.
Jaemin tilts his head up and moves his fingers to reveal one glaring eye.
“Of course I was talking about you, do you see any other cute guys around here?”
“I- What- Huh?” Renjun sputters.
“Renjunnie!” Someone calls out in that moment. Renjun snaps his head up to see Mark bounding across the floor towards them, Jeno right behind him.
Before his feet, Jaemin chokes.
“Jeno??” He almost yells.
“You know Jeno?” Renjun stares, completely lost.
Jaemin stands and scoffs. “Of course I know Jeno, he’s my best friend. How do you know Jeno?”
“He married my best friend,” Renjun says, just in time for Mark to come to a stop before them.
“Yep!” Mark says proudly. “By the way Renjunnie, this was the surprise I mentioned. Jaemin was the guy I was going to introduce you to at lunch the other day, but turns out both of you already know each other. What are the odds!”
“Oh my god,” Renjun clutches his head in despair.
Jaemin turns to look at Renjun again with wide eyes. “You stood me up!”
“It was your fault!” Renjun fires back. He gestures at the charcoal painting behind them. “Your photograph made me work and lose track of time!”
Jaemin seems to see the painting for the first time. Recognition colours his features. “Is this-”
“Yeah,” Renjun replies, hit by a sudden wave of embarrassment. “It parallels your focal piece.”
“Connection,” Jaemin recites the title of his photograph, then goes silent, staring up at the painting. In it, Renjun had used hues of gray to depict another arm covered in a changshan sleeve, this part coloured in acrylic pink and blue, pointing to the left of the frame. The outstretched fingers are close enough to the edge of the canvas that if both works were placed next to one another, it would look like both subjects were touching.
“My head feels like it’s going to explode,” Jaemin announces dully. “I cannot deal with any more surprises today.”
“Well, in the name of being honest,” Renjun says haltingly.
Jaemin turns to look at him.
“The…person I mentioned. The one I promised to talk to. It was you,” Renjun continues, heat rising up to his cheeks. “So, that makes us even, I guess.”
Jaemin looks dumbstruck. “Oh,” he manages after a long silence.
“I told you they’d get along,” Mark says to Jeno brightly, abruptly reminding Renjun of their audience. “And since they know each other, now they can plan their own date.”
“How fun,” Jeno smiles. "A whole series of coincidences. It's basically fate."
Renjun blushes even harder. Across from him, Jaemin does the same.
//
Group Name: evil lurks here
Chenle
What!!! All that happened without me!!!
I’m fucking suing
Renjun
That’s what you get when you’re always late
Mark
Also you owe me fifty bucks dude
I totally won
Chenle
Uh NO
You weren’t the one who introduced them
Mark
Eventually I would have!
Renjun
Technically, Chenle won
I dialled Jaemin’s number when I was trying to curse Chenle out
Chenle
I’LL TAKE IT
//
Outside the restaurant, Renjun taps on the first contact in his messages and dials.
Jaemin picks up on the second ring.
“Renjun? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m on a first date right now, and it’s kind of tradition to call you, so.”
“Right, right. How are you feeling about the date so far? Need me to help you escape?”
Renjun laughs.
“No, I’m enjoying it, actually. I think…this will be my last first date. Or, well, I’m hoping it is.”
“Really? That’s great to hear,” Jaemin says warmly. “You deserve it. Any guy who gets to take you on a date is a lucky man, and they better appreciate it. Has he been good to you?”
“Yeah,” Renjun smiles at the reminder. “He brought me flowers and pays attention to the things I say. He’s respectful, and he makes me laugh.”
“Does it feel right?” Jaemin asks.
“It does,” Renjun answers without hesitation. “Maybe it’s not perfect, but it feels like something worth pursuing. He’s someone worth pursuing.”
“Then that’s all that matters,” Jaemin replies. “Make sure he keeps it up, alright? Call him out if he isn’t nice to you, or call me and I’ll beat him up for you.”
Renjun laughs again. He looks through the little window into the restaurant, seeing his date at their corner table, smiling.
“I should go, otherwise my date’s gonna think I’ve run away,” Renjun says.
“Sure,” Jaemin replies warmly. “Take care Renjunnie. Enjoy your date, and whatever else that comes after. Be happy, okay?”
“You too,” Renjun says, and ends the call. He tucks his phone into his jacket pocket before walking into the restaurant, settling back into his seat.
Across the table, Jaemin beams and reaches over to hold his hand, before leaning down to press a kiss on his knuckles. Renjun smiles back at him.