Chapter Text
1st September 1977
Hermione could not believe that she had agreed to this, she wanted to protest the fact that she had to take the Hogwarts Express, given that she was already living in the castle. Both Dumbledore and McGonnigal insisted that it was paramount that they didn't draw any further attention to her situation. Hermione would admit that they had a point, it wasn't like there were many seventh year transfer students, or any sort of transfer students to Hogwarts at all for that matter.
It was decided in the days after the Order meeting that Hermione needed a cover story for being in this time period. McGonnagal offered, given the fact that her brother had just died, it would be an option for Hermione to pose as her niece. She knew that despite being 18, technically she needed a guardian, and if it was to be anyone she was grateful to the witch for volunteering herself. She had been staying in the Professor's private quarters at Hogwarts, it was quant but perfect for her. Hermione had enjoyed spending more time with her most trusted Professor, McGonnigal was a fantastic sounding board for a lot of Hermione’s planning and liked to remind the young witch to make sure she also took time for herself. She had her own space for the first time in over a year, and she didn't realize how nice it was to not share her space with two messy teenage boys.
So here she was, now Hermione Ross, ready to take on her 7th year at Hogwarts. She tried to be excited about it, since she was forced to drop out the first time around. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't find that knowledge hungry bookworm excited about her studies, she was long gone, replaced by a traumatized young girl with a mission to bring down, as Ron would say, Lord MoldyVoldy and save the wizarding world from bigots on a whole. She knew that it was important for her to be at Hogwarts for the sake of the mission, but honestly if she was given the choice she most likely would not have returned to Hogwarts ever again, after the horrors that she witnessed during the battle and not having her best friends by her side she had no interest in it at all, not that she had interest in anything anymore, well except for bringing an end to Voldemort.
The platform was exactly the same as it was in the 90’s. Hermione fought the urge to start looking for a mess of black hair and a towering ginger amongst the crowd. Hermione didn't want to think that she would be embarking to Hogwarts without them by her side, even though she had been in 70’s for a month. It felt different now that school would be starting, it made everything feel more real. Planning for her mission and actually experiencing the reality of it are two different beasts.
The train’s whistle pulled her out of her thoughts, as Hermione began to drag her trunk to board the handle snapped, that is what she got for buying second hand supplies. Despite having all of the savings that both she and Harry had withdrawn before they were forced on the run, and it being more than enough for her to live comfortably, she wanted to make sure it lasted as long as possible given that she was now stuck in the 70’s without any family or financial support. She was struggling with her broken trunk by the bright red door of the train when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
“Would you like a hand with that?”
At the sudden sound of the voice she dropped her trunk, probably breaking it further, she whirled around only to come face to face with the hazel eyes that had been haunting her thoughts since the last Order meeting. As James was smirking down at her she noticed that he must be at least 6’2 towering above her 5’4 frame, much taller than Harry. As he caught her gaping up at him for a second time his smirk grew into a full blown smile showing the most adorable dimple on the right side of his face.
“It’s you again! Hello, I don’t believe we actually had time for introductions the last time we met, James Potter at your service” He dipped down into a sweeping bow, and for the first time since arriving in 1977 Hermione laughed, it was a completely unbecoming snort and surprised her so much that she didn't even register that the ungodly noise had come from her.
Hermione cleared her throat trying to regain some composure, her first passing with the boy was less than impressive being brought directly to his house from battle, at least she knew she looked better this time. She was wearing a simple white dress with her beloved weasley jumper that actually belonged to Harry over the top, it swimmed on her but the preserving spell that she had cast on it had it still smelling of Harry, it was almost like he was with her. She finished her look with a pair of converse, she was struggling to acclimatise to the 70’s fashion so finding comfort in wearing things that she would have worn in her time made it a little less jarring.
“Well sneaking around your own home spying on your parents didn't leave much room for introductions now did it?” Hermione tried to keep her tone light and teasing, not wanting to give away any of her unease with the young man’s attention.
“Touche, seriously let me help you with that, we should probably get out of the way. '' He reached down across her body to collect her trunk, and began maneuvering it onto the train for her.
“Uh thanks I guess” he turned and flashed another smile her way, and by Merlin he needed to stop doing that or she was going to have a heart attack. Thinking of things that were going to give her a heart attack, James could have walked out of a male modeling catalog. He had a plain black t-shirt that was just tight enough to make his arms look incredible, a long sleeve flannel was tied around his waist. Not to mention he looked as if he was made to wear muggle jeans, his legs especially benefiting from all of his quidditch training not to mention his - Hermione shook her head, willing the thoughts of how perfect James' ass was as far out of her mind as possible. She needed to get a handle on herself, because there was no way she should be looking at her best friend's father like that.
“It was my pleasure, truly how could I deny a damsel in distress” his voice was husky but sweet, nothing at all like Harry’s. Hermione tried to stop comparing the two of them, but it was so hard not too. Harry always had so many questions about his dad, and in result made Hermione curious as well.
“Please, I was hardly in distress, I think you just wanted an excuse to interrogate me” she laughed at the put out look on his face, becoming evident that it’s exactly what he intended to do. She didn't blame him for wanting to know what his parents are up to, with the Death Eater activity picking up it was only natural for James to want to be in the thick of it, ever the bloody Gryffindor.
“So how was the rest of your summer? it looked like you had a rough start” James winced at his own words, yes it was less than tactful of him, but she didn’t really mind. It didn’t mean she was going to give him any more information about it.
“I don't know what you’re talking about, I spent my entire summer sunning myself along the french riviera” she deadpanned as they continued to walk down the train car, supposedly looking for an empty compartment.
He laughed, a full belly laugh and Hermione repressed the need to join in, this boy radiated pure joy, maybe that was why it was so hard for her to see the similarities between him and his son. Where Harry is all stoic and serious James is all laughs and charm. Hermione scolded herself. Was, Harry was all stoic and serious, her Harry is dead. Hermione tried to numb the sting of that fact but it was still just as jarring as it was a month ago. It hurt a deep buried part of Hermione to think about who Harry could have become with James’ influence and without all of the trauma from his horrible upbringing, would he be tall like james? would she see more of that matching dimple that they both have? The horrible truth was Hermione would never know. She tried to shake the darkness away, not wanting to seem suspicious, but the emotions on her chest were too heavy to lift.
“You, my friend are going to fit in with the Marauders perfectly” James shook his head in mirth, Hermione had to remind herself that she wasn't alone wallowing in her room, there would be time for her brooding all she had to do was make it through this train ride, and her re-sorting. James placed his hand on her lower back and guided her into the compartment that he had deemed acceptable, his small action shocking her like an ice bucket being dumped on her head, effectively snapping her out of her
“The Marauders?” Hermione questioned, playing dumb. Of course she knew exactly who James was referring too but he didn't know that.
“Only the best group of pranksters that Hogwarts has ever seen” it wasn’t James that replied, she turned to see that the compartment wasn’t in fact empty. Sirius Black was spread out taking up most of one of the benches, lying down with his head in the lap of a lanky boy with sandy blonde hair, that could only be a young Remus Lupin.
Sirius dressed like a typical punk, his perfectly messy black curls hiding most of his face although Hermione thought that she could make out some smudged eyeliner around his silver eyes, a ripped sex pistols t-shirt underneath a leather jacket although the weather was way to warm for one, ripped distressed jeans and some well worn doc martin boots finished off his outfit. Remus dressed a lot more casually, in a white t-shirt, knitted red cardigan, blue jeans and black converse, Hermione felt like it was an accurate representation of both the boy’s personalities. Sirius sat up and was suddenly stood in front of her, he made a show of looking her up and down,
“I’m Sirius Black and this here is Remus Lupin, also fellow Marauders. and you are?” He took Hermione’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it in a proper pureblood greeting. It was quite the juxtaposition considering how he was dressed and his entire personality,
“Regretting letting James here take my trunk hostage” she laughed at the faux hurt expression on Sirius’ face as he slumped back down next to Remus. Hermione took a seat opposite him by the window as James kindly stowed her trunk for her.
“Hey now, no trunks were harmed in the process of me getting you to sit with us, I was just taking my job of Head Boy seriously, ensuring that all new faces receive a warm friendly welcome” the handsome smirk on his face made shivers run down Hermione’s spine, she tried not to focus on the way her entire body reacted to him, it was something that she had never experienced before. It was by no means normal and Hermione needed it to stop.
“How you ever made Head Boy will remain a mystery to us all” Remus’ tone was light but the words had an edge to them, making Hermione think that there was a possibility that he had been passed up for the prestigious role.
“Honestly Moony I have no idea what good old Dumbles was thinking” James was laughing, as the train started to move they all settled into the compartment further. The boys talking amongst themselves, Hermione pulled out a book, she still refused to go anywhere without her beaded bag, she was sure that the need to have it with her at all times would not go away. She had already extensively warded it so that no one other than herself could open it, it contained too much sensitive information, there would be catastrophic consequences if it fell into the wrong hands.
“How did you do that?” it was Remus that questioned her, pointing to her bag that was significantly smaller than the large book that she pulled out of it, Hermione chuckled
“Honestly Remus? you’re a wizard! Are you going to ask me next if I can pull a rabbit out of a hat?” Remus laughed, clearly understanding her. The other two boys just looked at her with abject horror,
”Why would you pull out a rabbit?”
”Have you got a rabbit in there too?” The two pureblood’s spoke at the same time and the same level of distress, causing Remus and Hermione to laugh harder at their ignorance to her clearly muggle reference.
“I just mean that isn't the undetectable extension charm illegal?” Hermione was glad that this younger version of her most favored professor seemed to have the same sense of humor. The two of them always got along in her time, and she was relying on the fact that they would now.
“I have special permission” She didn’t really, however there was no one to question it, all of the adults within her direct orbit were all in need of her assistance too much to question her.
“From who?” It was Sirius that asked, his interest clearly peeked at the mention of illegal activities,
She leaned over the space between the benches towards him and indicated for him to do the same. When his face was mear inches from hers, she delivered in a stage whisper
“That's need to know information, and you Sirius Black do not need to know”
“Oh come now Kitten no one likes a tease” he smirked at her clearly amused that there was someone that would give back just as much as he would put out, little did he know that she was practically raised by his older self from the age of 13, most of her formative years being spent with his sarcastic childish arse definitely left a lasting impression. It was not lost on Hermione that younger Sirius had adopted the same nickname for her as his older counterpart. Her heart clenched at his use of it, no longer hating it, she missed him so much that she would take whatever little pieces of him were in front of her now.
“Something tells me that you do enjoy a good tease Padfoot” she sat up abruptly as she said it, noticing her mistake immediately, but by the will of Godric himself the others didn't seem to notice her slip up too busy laughing at the expense of their friend.
The door to their compartment flew open violently, and Hermione felt the temperature drop, the ghost of a memory from her third year train journey jolting her into action. She was on her feet in an instant, her wand raised and hex on the tip of her tongue. She couldn't make much sense of anything, her sole focus on the figure in the door, she felt her breath coming in fast and the edges of her vision darkening, all she could see was the mocking glit of a silver death eater mask. The whooshing in her ears was the only sound she could focus on whilst her heart was ready to burst out of her chest. She was completely frozen until she felt a strong arm wrap around her, she looked up to see the concerned gaze of James, she could see that he was talking to her but she couldn't make out the words, as her heart rate started to slow she realized her major overreaction. James started to make soothing motions on her arms, she wanted to disappear into thin air. Hermione was always the rational one, she always had complete control and the longer she was in the 70’s the clearer it was she was unraveling, thread by thread.
“Now Kitten I know her hair is terrifyingly bright but it’s only Evans, she has a worse bark than bite I assure you” Sirius laughed it off but the hard glint in his eye gave his concern away,
“Shut up Black, I was just coming to get Potter for the prefects meeting, but clearly I’m interrupting something” Lily Evans was nothing like Hermione expected, She was beautiful and her striking eyes were in fact identical to her sons but they held a hard edge to them, Hermione saw none of the kindness that she had grown accustomed to seeing when looking at them, but maybe it was because James Potter was currently practically suffocating Hermione with affection, Hermione quickly stepped away from him,
“I'm Lily Evens, Head Girl, and you are?” Her tone was bitter and Hermione didn't miss the emphasis that she put on her title, clearly very proud of it. Hermione cringed thinking if that's what she would have been like in her position. It was all too much, Hermione felt her breathing pick up as the walls started to close in on her again, she needed to get out of there otherwise she was going to have a full blown breakdown, something that she has become familiar with in the last month,
“Im so sorry” she breathed out as she pushed past Lily, rushing out of the compartment not listening to the voices that called after her. She desperately needed air so she went to the only place that she knew she could get it whilst stuck on the moving train. Hermione couldn’t remember if she had passed any other students on her way to the small outside ledge between carriages, she collapsed unceremoniously onto the railing taking gulping breaths of air like she had just run a marathon.
“You look like you’ve had a rough journey” she snapped her head up at the deep voice and faltered, there is no way that Sirius could have followed her this quickly but when she took note of her unwanted companions perfect wizards robes she quickly realized that this was not Sirius,
“Yeah well PTSD will do that to you” she choked out the words and laughed, despite the situation. The one student that she needed to make contact with and tread extremely carefully around was thrown into her path in the middle of a breakdown, fan-bloody-tastic. Regulus extended an arm and held out a packet of cigarettes to her, her knee jerk reaction of declining already on her lips, but on a complete whim she took one, lighting the end of it with her wand. This was not the first time she had smoked, no matter how much she was painted as the perfect Gryffindor princess there were a lot of sides to Hermione that no one knew. She felt the burn travel down her throat and into her lungs, relishing the feeling using it to further ground her in the moment.
“Thanks, I didn’t realize how much I needed one” Her voice was shaky but she was able to form words so that was an improvement from moments ago. She smiled at him, and really looked at Regulus for the first time. He was a spitting image of Sirius, although more put together with his hair gelled perfection not a single strand out of place. If not for their fashion sense they really could be twins.
“Nothing like a death stick to make you feel alive” Regulus really was as charming as his brother, more reserved maybe but the slight tilt to his head and his confident posture was screaming womanizer. Hermione laughed at his observation, noticing that he was also hiding out here, clearly avoiding some of his own demons.
“So what has you in need of reprieve then? you know why I’m out here, it's only fair I know why you are” she watched as his demeanor changed, the cheeky glint to his eyes disappearing completely. His answer throwing her off
“Do you ever get tired of the show you have to put on for other people?” His outright admission shocked her. Hermione never expected him to open up to her so quickly or at all with little to no prompting from her,
“All the time” She didn't elaborate or ask him too, right now they weren't two teenagers with the ability to completely change the tides of the war. They were just two teenagers feeling the immense pressures of their retrospective lives. So she just stood there in silence enjoying the company of misery.
Hermione wasn't sure how much time passed, they had both smoked two more cigarettes watching the magical view of the Scottish countryside as they waited to arrive at Hogsmeade. Hermione was sure this was most likely going to be her last chance for peace and quiet before the chaos of the year swept her up. She noticed Regulus fidgeting with a pocket watch, not saying a word when Regulus made to move,
“Well I'm sure I will see you around witch” he paused before turning, flashing her another smirk to which she responded with her own,
“I’m sure you will, I hear the astronomy tower is a good place to get some not so fresh air” she veiled her intentions, knowing that there would be no use outright inviting him. He nodded laughing to himself as he made his way in the direction from where Hermione had come.
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Hermione made her way back through the train car. It was only moments ago that they had pulled into Hogsmeade but she hasn't gone back for her trunk until now. She was too scared to face the Marauders after her episode, Hermione wondered how that would affect her upcoming sorting. She was no longer the brash and brave Gryffindor that she once was, She couldn't even face 3 teenagers after embarrassing herself for Godric’s sake. The way she was going she would need to get used to swearing to another founder.
She was relieved to find the compartment already empty and promptly began to change into her plain coloured school issued robes, It was strange not immediately donning the crimson and gold that she had become so accustomed too, she didn’t know where she wanted to end up, the thought of wearing any of the other house colours horrified her but she wasn’t sure if the thought of going into the common room and not finding any of her own housemates was worse.
Once she was dressed she made her way out onto the platform and towards the carriages, The one argument that she had won with the headmaster and ‘Auntie Min’, As she had so insisted Hermione call her, was that she would not be taking the boats with the other first years. Honestly it was a ridiculous request on the Headmaster’s behalf and she insisted that she would rather swim the entire way than set foot on one of those rickety boats. She was jolted out of her thoughts when a small arm linked into hers, Hermione turned to see a long mass of white blonde hair and a pair of bright pink iridescent glasses, they where on upside down but Hermione supposed it didn’t hurt anything given she was sure that the young witch probably couldn’t see out of them anyway.
“Hello, My name is Pandora, and I believe you are a friend of my Luna’s?” Her voice was so sickly sweet it made Hermione’s teeth ache. She of course knew exactly who the young witch was, Luna was a spitting image of Pandora in both looks and personality it seemed.
“I… ah.. How?… you know then?” Hermione tried to hide her fluster, she wasn’t ready for anyone to know who she really was, not yet at least and here Pandora was blowing her cover before she had even said a word to the witch,
“I do, or at least I will. It's all a bit confusing this time business. I just wanted to come and say hello so you know that you always have a friend here. I can be quite perceptive but people tend not to listen to me because they think I’m strange” Hermione chuckled at the similarities between her and her daughter, clearly cut from the same cloth.
“Pandora!” A voice belonging to a gruff looking teen called out, he was wearing his robes in complete disarray and his hair unkempt. The lanky boy stood with two others, a blonde that Hermione didn’t recognise and the tall imposing presence of Regulus Black, the three clearly waiting for their eccentric companion to stop talking to the stray. Regulus raised a single questioning eyebrow at her, clearly interested in how she had captured Pandora’s attention
“Well thank you Pandora, I appreciate it. Let’s just keep this between us for now, I can’t risk the wrong people finding out about me” She patted the hand that the blonde still had linked through her arm, genuinely happy to have met her if not slightly concerned about the fact that she knew her biggest secret, well maybe not her biggest secret.
“I assure you no one would believe me anyway. '' She smiled a toothy smile and began skipping in the direction of her waiting friends, looking like she had not a single care in the world, she watched as they all piled into a carriage departing quickly. Hermione wished that she could be more like that, not holding onto every single heart wrenching truth of her life, she supposed she was never built to be like that, even as a child she held herself with the utmost seriousness.
“Well look at you Kitten making friends everywhere you go” as if just thinking of the word made Sirius appear from thin air, she turned to see the Marauders all stood waiting by one of the last carriages. Hermione sighed and made her way over to them, walking up to the castle no longer an option if she didn’t want to miss her sorting, well now that she thought about it that wasn’t such a bad idea.
“You know me just a ray of bloody sunshine and all” she tried to forget about their last encounter, choosing not to focus on the embarrassment heating her cheeks.
“Glad you actually made it, we weren’t sure you had given the fact that you disappeared on us” it was James that spoke next eyeing her with a different level of scrutiny than he had before, She noticed another boy stood to the side, he was significantly shorter than the others only a head or so taller than herself. His dirty blonde hair overgrown so much that it seemed to block some of his vision he was wearing an army style jacket with denims and converse, Hermione blanched when she realized who it was, this young boy would grow to be the repulsive, spineless man that she met in the shrieking shack all those years ago. Peter. Bloody. Pettigrew.
Hermione failed to hide her grimace when looking at the boy, she tried to remind herself that he had yet to betray his friends and send them all down the road of misery and despair, this boy will be the cause of all of the suffering that her best friend had ever experienced and she didn’t know how to quell her rage. She knew that she was going to have to find a way to co-exist with the boy without strangling him. Something she felt the need to do deep in her soul.
Peter looked her up and down, clearly unsure of why the witch already seemed to hate him. “So this is the mystery girl then?” His voice was more jovial than she would have ever thought possible, he really was completely opposite to the quivering man that she once knew.
“Yes and we are going to be late if you all don’t hurry up and get in the carriage” she tried to smile through the interaction, but she was sure it was more like a forced sneer.
“Ladies first,” Sirius black extended his arm to help her up the steps, she promptly ignored it and prayed that she wouldn’t fall up the stairs. She positioned herself facing away from the front, not wanting to acknowledge the fact that she can now for the first time see the thestrals. Hermione was beginning to become adept at avoidance techniques, she knew in the long run that it would all catch up to her but today was not the day to deal with it, not when she had already had to face so many demons.
The boys were as boisterous when they were all together as she would have expected, laughing and joking with one another. She tried to tune them out focusing on what she still needed to accomplish tonight, unlike the first time around, Hermione relished in the fact that the decision about her house would not be her responsibility, she remembered being so anxious at putting her fate in the hands of a old crusty hat and now it was something that brought her peace. The truth of the matter was that there was no impact on her mission wherever she ended up, all she needed was a plausible cover for being in the school.
As the carriage began to slow Hermione began to ready herself, she noticed the boys all watching her, waiting to see her reaction to seeing the castle, for what they thought was the first time. She tried to find the wonder that Hogwarts once brought her but came up empty, she smiled at them softly.
“Let’s get this over with then” she said dramatically and pushed past them to exit the carriage first. She didn’t turn back before making her way up the steps. Yes she thought, let’s get this over with indeed.
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