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Chapter Text

Colin Bridgerton was a man of many faults, and one of the biggests ones that concerned him was just how late he realised he was in love with Penelope Featherington. She was the most beautiful woman in his eyes, the smartest, the wittiest, the bravest and most definitely, the woman he wanted no, needed, to make his wife. He knew he would worship the ground beneath her. He would make everyday an adventure for her, just so that he could prove to her (and himself) that he was worthy of breathing the same air as her. Penelope deserved more than a third son, and she had captured the attention of an Earl, Lord Debling. If they were to marry, she would become a Countess. If she were to become his Colin's wife, she would simply be known as Mrs Bridgerton. Although it was not much, he quite preferred that. 

Mrs Colin Bridgerton. His Pen.

He had not realised just how long he was sitting in his study dreaming of every aspect of her, so long he forgot he was originally meant to sit and wallow in his feelings. His wallowing subsided at the thought of making her his wife. And so, he got up. He made himself look somewhat presentable to go and stop their engagement. He became a man on a mission - a mission for love. 

As he made his way downstairs, a small smile curved his lips, but to his surprise, his family had already been gathered in the drawing room, looking rather exhausted in their efforts of their little conversation. 

"Oh, how I long to debute so I could attend balls and become fast friends with the debutants." Hyacinth beamed as leaned closer to her mother. 

"Patience, my love. Your time will come. And when it does, I am certain you will become the Diamond of the Season. You are simply too beautiful to not be." Violet said, giving her youngest daughter a side hug. 

"If you wish, I could teach you all about the many ways to persist the attention of a suitor," Eloise quipted, and their mother shot her a deadly stare. "I was making a joke, dear mother," Eloise defended, pulling her book back up to her nose. 

"When your time comes, you must know I will be an active participant in your season. The man you marry must meet certain requirements. It is that or nothing." Benedict said, and Hyacinth laughed. 

"As long as you do not scare them away as Anthony did with Daphne's suitors," the family shared a little laugh and Colin stood before then with a little smile. 

"Family! What brings you home so soon?" His hands were placed on his hips as he looked around the room. Francesca sat by the pianoforte, Violet and Hyacinth sat snuggled next to one another whilst Benedict, Eloise and Gregory sat opposite them. 

"I wished to return home early, but the gathering ended a little while ago. Eloise has just returned with Benedict." Colin shot his mother a quick glare, and his heart stopped when he saw her gaze soften. 

"What do you mean? I was merely sitting in the study for an hour." He quickly said. 

"Have you no concept of time, brother? We left for the ball nearly five hours ago." Eloise said, and Colin deeply sighed. 

"Am I too late?" He turned to his mother, his voice threatened to break. 

"Too late for what?" Gregory asked.

"You did miss a proposal. Your dear pupil, Penelope is going to become a Countess." Benedict said, tossing a piece of candy in his mouth. He looked at Eloise, who nodded. 

"I left before that happened." Violet said. He wanted nothing more than to run across the square to Penelope and ask her if it was indeed, the truth. But why would Benedict and Eloise lie? They had no reason to. Slowly, Violet stood up. She held his shoulders. 

"Dear, I wish you would have taken my suggestion to heart. I informed you she was getting a proposal tonight and yet, you stayed home." She said, and Colin did not want to hear how it was his fault, although he knew it was not what his mother meant, but he felt like it was. He missed out, and now he had to bare the consequences. 

"It is not over unless the wedding bans are read." Colin said, moving quickly out of his family's view and back up the stairs where he retired to his room. He knew what he had to do, and he needed the help of her ladymaid, Rae. 

"Why is he all of a sudden so gloomy about Penelope's engagement?" Eloise asked as she fought with Benedict to have the last sweet. 

"It is a matter of the heart, Eloise." Eloise quickly looked at her mother while Benedict threw the last sweet in his mouth. 

"Mama, do not tell me-"

"Yes, Eloise." Violet turned to her daughter. "Your brother is in love with Penelope." Every Bridgerton turned to their mother, a look if shock and awe filled their faces. They could hardly believe what they had just heard. 

"It took him long enough to realise this." Francesca mindlessly said, and they all looked at her. 

"Has he spoken to you about this?" Eloise asked, quickly offended. 

"No, but I do like paying attention. Colin is always at his happiest when Penelope is besides him. He always approaches her, and when he does Penelope's face lights up the room. They definitely harbour feelings for one another, and yet, not one of them had the courage to admit it sooner." Francesca shrugged. 

"Colin and Penelope?" Eloise asked with confusion.  

"I would assume you maybe knew, since you have been tied to her for much longer. Could you not have seen the way she looked at our brother?" Francesca asked, and Eloise was at a loss for words. She recalled every interaction with the three of them in mere seconds, but she still could not tell. Her best friend was in love with her brother. Ex-best friend, rather since they were no longer on speaking terms. 

"It is no wonder she is no longer your friend. You do not pay attention to her." Hyacinth said, and Eloise stood up. 

"We have simply grown apart! How many times must I inform you all of this?" Eloise huffed, then hurried off to her room. 

"Hy, was that truly necessary? You know how your sister feels about Penelope." Violet asked. 

"Somebody needed to inform her." Hyacinth say back, folding her arms. 

"And you need to learn to read the room, dear sister." Gregory said and for once, Hyacinth did not have a comeback. 

"Francesca, how long have you known of their feelings for one another?" Benedict asked. 

"Penelope has had them for much longer. Our brother, it is hard to say. I only noticed the change this season." 

"So mother, what do we do?" Benedict asked, and Violet sighed.

"There is nothing we can do. Clearly, Penelope has made her decision. There is nothing we can do but hope for the best, and that you brother does whatever he must do in a gentleman like fashion." Violet said as she sat next to Hyacinth once more. 

---

In her room, Eloise paced the floor endlessly. She did not know what was real with Penelope any longer. Since she had met Colin first, was their friendship just a ploy to get with Colin? Was anything they shared real? Did she laugh at Eloise for believing such a lie? She was more than thankful she no longer had Penelope around. It felt like she no longer knew this person. 

At a point in her life, Lady Whistledown was all she aspired to be. A working woman of the ton, most likely unmarried and living her life to the fullest extend. Her mysetrous identity led her to Theo Sharpe, the boy she believed she had fallen in love with. His mind, his wit and his personality is what made Eloise go back each and every time. It was not about Whistledown anymore, but Theo. 

Eloise was upset Penelope took Theo away from her. She was upset Penelope wrote about her secret. She was upset Penelope nearly ruined her, and all to protect her identity. She had reason to be upset. Penelope betrayed her trust, and she had no interest in hearing Penelope's sob stories, why she started Whistledown and why she wanted Eloise to forgive her. No, she wanted nothing more than to stay away from her, but now more than ever, she wanted to see her. So, she sneaked out of the house the way she usually did and made her way to the Featherington servants entrance. 

She was amazed she was still able to get in unoticed. They really had to up their security since it was just women staying in their house, but Eloise did not ponder on that fact. 

She quickly found Penelope's door to her room as just as she was about to turn the handle, she heard low voices, then an even more familiar voice emerged. She quickly identified this voice. Colin. 

What has gotten into my daft brother's head? Is he truly so in love her with he decided to sneak into her room? An betrothed woman's room? 

Eloise froze for a second, wondering if she should interrupted, but she decided to stay still. The house was dead silent. Nobody would notice her. 

"Colin you do not understand, we cannot do that! I am to marry Lord Debling." This was Penelope, and her plea sounded stable.

"We have kissed once, and since then I cannot imagine how I am to go the rest of my life without every kissing you again, or simply holding you." Eloise's jaw dropped to the floor. Her brother and Penelope had shared a kiss?

"If you do not choose to marry me even after I have declared my love for you, please do not deny me the pleasure of saying goodbye to you, on my own terms." Colin said, and Eloise did now know why, but her heart fluttered a bit. She truly did not know her brother cared so deeply for Penelope. 

"I want nothing more than to marry for love, Colin. But we simply cannot be so fortunate. For reasons unbeknownst to you, I require my privacy. Lord Debling has offered that to me, and we will make each other very happy. I have always know a love match would not be on the table for me, and I have made peace with that. Not only can I continue to do what I love, but I will be happy. We may not love each other, but it is what I require. So no, I will not kiss you because if I do, I will lose all senses and you will cloud my judgement. I simply cannot afford to let you do that do me." Eloise sighed. She wanted to marry Debling because it will offer her privacy to continue writing Whistledown. Eloise became even more envious. Not only would Penelope be getting a title, but she would be a working woman with a job she loved. 

"I wish for you to tell me why you cannot marry for love. What could be so much more important that you wish to never marry me?" Colin sounded hurt. 

"Colin-"

"Penelope, I love you. It has always been you. Nothing you will ever say can make me change the way I feel about you." Colin professed, and Eloise wanted to let them sort this out without eavesdropping, but it was like she was being pulled back in. She heard Penelope exhaled deeply. 

"I have a passion, one that has allowed me the privilege to voice my opinion and be heard. I have grown up in a home without being heard or seen and my passion allows me to be both." She was talking about Whistledown. 

Being Lady Whistledown is her passion? She does not feel seen and heard in her own home? Is that why she chose to write? To be seen and heard? Is that why she chose to get married? She allow her to continue this passion in private?

Eloise had so many questions, but she would get them at a later stage. For now, she was far too invested in their conversation. 

"You can have that passion and still be married to me. You can have a love match and still do what you love." 

"Women cannot have both. Such luxuries are not afforded amongst the women of this ton. Look at Eloise. She wants nothing more than to go to a Univeristy but she cannot. She is a woman. She wants to travel, but she cannot, unless she is married. The same applies to me." Eloise was touched that she mentioned her. 

"Once we are married, we could travel the world, with you as my wife." 

"I do not wish to travel. I wish to continue to do what I do."

"As I mentioned, nothing will make me stay away from you." Yet another deep sigh escaped her lips. 

"Colin, I am Lady Whistledown."

Eloise gasped, but just as she was getting to the interesting part of this conversation, she was captured. 

"Miss Eloise?" It was Rae, whispering. "What are you doing here?" 

"I came to see Penelope," they moved away from the door. Rae gently leading her to the exit by the servants courter. 

"She is otherwise occupied. Do come tomorrow. Good night."

Eloise stood outside, then strided on home. She told him, and she could not bare not knowing. She had to see Penelope, and soon. 

Chapter Text

"You do not know what you speak of." Colin scoffed, letting go of her hands as they sat comfortably on her bed. For a moment, Penelope looked at him in silence. She did not want to confuse his thoughts with any more words. She decided to let him try and get to that conclusion on his own. She watched as his mind wondered and his eyebrows knit closer to together. "You simply do not mean that." He said once again, and more so in a plea to convince himself. She remained still. 

By now, Penelope knew what she had to do to ensure she goes through with the wedding to Lord Debling. She had to use her cunning words to chase him off. That was the only way. She believed Colin when he said he loved her, but she knew he meant it in a sense as to how to loves his sisters, of course. 

I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington. Not in your wildest fantasies.

Those harsh words, although she had forgiven him, played in her head. He simply did not mean that he loved her. He was confused, and she certainly was not going to allow him to be trapped in a marriage of lust with her. He would find his true love someday, and it pained her to know it would never be her. He would make some woman very happy one day. It pained her to know it would not be her. He would make such an incredible father. It pained her to know it would never be to their children. It was the harsh reality, so she decided to go with her passion instead. 

"Penelope, you cannot force me away by telling lies." He suddenly turned to her. At this point, she grew rather tired. 

"Why can it not be me who is Lady Whistledown? Is it because she is vicious? Is it because she shatters relationships? Or is it because someone like me has the ton eating out of the palm of her hands?" She asked, her voice slightly raised. Colin stared at her in confusion once more. 

"I know you, Penelope. You would never write such damning words! You are too kind." 

"What I write is the truth, Colin. And I make quite a hefty sum for it. That is my passion, my writing." She said, assertive. He shook his head in denial. 

"I do not care." He replied, still shaking his head. Now, she had to unleash her inner Whistledown. He would get over his feelings eventually. But this, this was not love. She was certain. 

"I am Lady Whistledown, the same woman who ruined your engagement to my cousin. The same woman who spoke ill of your family on countless occasions. It is I who wrote about your brother's rakish ways. It is I who almost ruined your sister and in the process, lost her trust and it is I who wrote about you this season, saying how you had put up a persona, one that does not quite suit you, by the way. And yes, it is I who plays mind games with the Queen simply because I can. And do you know what, Colin?" She breathed heavily as he stared at her with an all new blank expression. "I quite enjoy it. So if you will excuse me, I have to get some rest. I have a wedding to plan in the morning." She showed no fear, and she was proud of herself. She was proud that she had not cried, although she so desperately wanted to. She spoke to him in such a cruel manner, but it is what he had to hear.

"Eloise know?"

"We did not grow apart, she found out it was me who had almost ruined her and her new friendship with a printer's associate. She said she never wishes to speak to me again, and now here we are, without each other. And although my heart breaks that we can no longer be as we once were, I do not blame her. I broke her heart, and I broke mine by breaking hers. So yes, I am Lady Whistledown and Eloise knows." Colin stood up from her bed in a rush. 

"I once told Eloise I would never forgive whoever Lady Whistledown is. Her words are cruel and unkind. One should never aspire to be like that. You should not have been like this." Colin said, and Penelope scoffed, standing up to face him. 

"You do not get to tell me how I should be. Just mere moments ago you were begging me to marry you instead of Debling. Tell me, Colin. If I were to marry you, would you allow me to continue my column?" She asked, and his expression said it all. "And that is exactly my point. You would not."

"You are playing a very dangerous game!"

"You do not need to worry about my safety, Colin! It is not your place."

"But it should have been my place. You do not have any gentlemen in your family to guide you on the right path, and I should have been that person for you." Colin said. 

"No, do not do that! My papa was very much alive when I started writing. Cousin Jack was here and I was still writing. My mama is here and I am still writing. I do not need your protection or guidance, Colin. I can take care of myself. I have been doing so for much longer than you think." She added, and he moved further away from her. 

"Penelope, this is uncalled for. Are you really choosing Whistledown over me?" He asked, a little hurt. Penelope wanted nothing more than to hold his hand once more, despite the burning anger she felt in her chest. The answer was simple. 

No, I love you.

"Yes." Her head answered, her heart felt betrayed. Just as betrayed as her heart felt, so did Colin's. A single tear rolled down his eyes, onto his cheek. He wiped it away.

Penelope, what have you done?

What if he actually loved her more than how he loved his sisters? What if he truly wanted to marry her because of his love? What if she truly was his true love? Penelope would never know, because as she reached for him, he opened the door to her room. There, stood Rae and she quickly escorted him out. 

As her door closed, she was overcome with so much emotions and she did not know how to deal with them. In a shift move, she threw herself on her bed and cried herself to sleep. 

She had made a huge mistake with all those 'what if' questions, and that is something she had to held accountable for. Her punishment, a marriage without love to an Earl who would leave her to manage his estate while he pursued his passion. At least Colin offered to take her with to see the world. She would simply be his wife, The Countess. But also, she had Lady Whistledown. And hopefully, Lord Debling would give her children to love. She would be happy. Children and Whistledown, but no Colin. 

Women could not have it all, and Penelope Featherington was a prime example of that. 

___

The sun poked through Penelope's window the following morning and to her surprise, her mother and Varley were in her room, discussing something before they saw her stir in bed. 

"Ah, Penelope! My soon-to-be Countess!" Lady Featherington sat next to Penelope in bed as she held her shoulders. Her mother was delighted that she would be married soon. 

"Good morning, mama." Penelope said, wiping the sleep from her eyes. 

"Good morning, dearest. Varley and I were just discussing the wedding plans. Since you are betrothed to an Earl, I wish to throw you the grandest wedding Mayfair has ever seen." Portia bit her lip, and Penelope smiled. She had never been the source of her mother's happiness. 

"Can we not have a private event?" Penelope asked. 

"Nonsense, we are to marry you off in style. And besides, the wedding breakfast is more for the guests anyway." Portia smiled. She liked that her mother was happy, and so she agreed. Varley and Portia trotted off while Penelope pondered her situation. Of course, she was happy. A practical match. It was all she hoped for. 

As Rae got her ready for the day, she thought of Colin and his love confession. She wondered how she would react while they were out promenading. She wondered if Lord Debling would pick up the tension, and she hoped he would not. So, she focused solely on Debling. He was giving her exactly what she hoped for. 

"You are in Whistledown this morning. Have you read it?" Rae asked. In truth, Penelope did not have to. She knew exactly what she wrote. 

"Do you have a copy?" Penelope asked, and Rae pulled the sheet from her pocket. Penelope took from her while Rae continued working on her hair. 

Dearest Gentle Reader

Although it may seem out of the ordinary, this author can confirm that in the most unlikely turn if events, Lord Debling and Miss Penelope Featherington are betrothed! It seems this wallflower has blossomed into the flower she had hoped to be. 

Congratulations to the pair, and strongs to Miss Featherington. As shocked as some of you may be regarding the news, this author knew this was coming since Lady Featherington would not stop telling anyone who might listen. It seems this author must chew her words as she deemed Miss Featherington an unlikely participant in the successful marriage mart. For that, this author is shocked. 

Penelope put the pamphlet down and smiled. For once, she had not written a bad word about herself. Things were about to change for the better, and Penelope was hopeful. 

___

Dowager Viscountess Bridgerton saw many aspects of her husband in each of her children, but Colin stood out the most. He was not only the splitting imagine of her father, but he had his father's soft and gentle heart. When her beloved Edmund felt pain, he would feel it deeply and she feared Colin might inherit that from his father. 

In silence, she watched as her son made preparations for yet another tour, and an even longer one, at that. She would not see her son for almost a year, and it was because the woman he loved was marrying another man. 

"Colin, dearest?" Violet finally spoke up, and his swollen red eyes perked along with his head from his journal. He had made it abundantly clear that he would be leaving, and he would inform Anthony himself upon their arrival. 

"Yes, mother?" The pain in his voice was evident. 

"I take it your talk with Miss Featherington was unsuccessful?" Violet closed the door to the study behind her. 

"I have not spoken to her."

"If you are anything like your father, of course you have spoken to her." He sighed, placing his head in his hands. 

"I cannot be here when she marries him. I must leave." Colin confessed, and Violet sat opposite him. 

"You could do with some fresh air. We are leaving for the park soon. Please, do come. I will inform to cook to pack extras of whatever you love." Violet encouraged. 

"I will come, but I am still leaving, mother. I cannot stay." Colin said. 

"I understand, but do not stay away for too long." 

_

As they family gathered outside under the tent, Anthony and Kate had announced their happy news of a baby joining the family soon, which lead to the family celebrating in their news for much longer. All the while, Eloise watched Colin. Knowing what she did, she did not understand why Colin had not just asked Penelope to marry him after they had kissed. It seemed like the proper thing to do since he had compromised her. And he knew she of her secret life? She wanted to know how he felt about it, if he was as upset with Penelope as she was. 

"I read some interesting news in Whistledown this morning. You should be happy, Colin. Your pupil did well." Kate said, and Violet turned to face the happy couple, indicating that that specific topic should not be brought up. Their mother had already informed them not to bring up Penelope or the engagement, but Anthony and Kate had just arrived. "Did I say something I was not supose to?" Kate asked, confused. Anthony just as confused. 

"Excuse me, I should like to take a walk." Colin said, getting up and waking quickly off. 

"What is wrong with Colin?" Anthony asked.

"We shall discuss that at home. For now, let us just spend some time together. Benedict -" Violet turned to her second son. "Go after your brother." Benedict sighed, but Eloise stood instead. 

"I will, mama. We have both lost Penelope in some sense. Perhaps we shall bond over this." Eloise said, going after Colin. As she walked off, she heard Anthony's question. 

"Lost Penelope? Dear mother, what did we miss?"

As Eloise tried to run up to her brother, Cressida spotted her and quickly linked arms with her. 

"Have you seen Whistledown? It seems Penelope must have used a magic spell in one of her books to trap Lord Debling." Cressida snarled, but Eloise paid her no attention. "I do not understand. Why her? I am all but available." She cried out, making Eloise stop walking briefly. 

"Cressida, would you mind? I mean to speak to my brother urgently." 

"Can I accompany you? My mama wants me to speak to one of my papa's aged friends." 

"It is a family matter, I am afraid not." Eloise said, and before Cressida could comment, Eloise ran off. She found Colin standing by a tree and as she follow his gaze, there stood Penelope and Lord Debling talking. She seemed genuinely happy around him. After hearing his declaration, Eloise placed a firm hand on his back. Colin saw it was Eloise and then, continued watching them. 

"I do not wish to speak to anyone." 

"I know that you know about Whistledown. We cannot discuss this here. Cressida is nearby. At home, see me in my room." Colin shot her a quick glance.

"How do you know?" 

"I told you, not here." Eloise said, and he nodded his head. "Now, will you please tell me for how long you have had feelings for my best friend."

"I thought she was no longer your best friend, after what happened last season." Colin said, not taking his eyes off Penelope. Eloise did not either. She had to admit, Penelope looked beautiful in her day dress. It was a warm blue dress with silver crystals. Her hair was loosened with a small curl to frame her face. She admired Penelope as she stepped into her own this season, but the hurt and betrayal was too real to admit it to her. 

"Just answer me, please?"

"It has always been there, but something happened which made me realise my feelings a lot quicker."

"The kiss?" Colin looked at her.

"How do you-"

"I told you, we are not discussing how I know here." Eloise sighed, then looked back at Penelope. They watched as Lord Debling kissed her gloved hand and made his departure from her. 

"I cannot be here when she marries him. I am leaving for Italy." 

"Mama has mentioned you would be taking a lengthier trip this year." 

"I know you do not wish to speak to her, but will you please just make sure she is well? He will leave her for his adventures and she will be left by herself in his large estate."

"Colin, I-"

"Eloise," she pleaded with her, and then she nodded her head. That would mean she would have to speak to Penelope. She wanted to, but not for his sake. "Thank you," Eloise smiled at him as he made his way in the direction they came from. Eloise looked ahead as Portia and Penelope smiled at one another. Her mother seemed over the moon. Her daughter was marrying into a noble family, and Eloise knew that is all Portia wanted for her daughters. But together, they seemed so good. Perhaps their time apart healed Portia and Penelope's relationship. Perhaps it was Portia who finally listened to Penelope she she said she did not like wearing citrus colour dresses.

"Stalking Penelope?" Cressida loomed behind her. "This would only be acceptable if you knew of ways we could end her engagement." 

"I do not wish to ruin her engagement. I simply... miss her companionship." Eloise admitted. She was growing rather tired of Cressida and her abusive ways. The manner in which she handled Penelope hurt Eloise's heart. Although she did befriend Cressida out of spite, she did not want to see Penelope suffer. 

"You miss her? But why? You have me." Cressida complained. 

"Do you not grow tired of your cruel ways, Cressida?" Eloise asked. "You are too much to be around, some of the time." Eloise said, and Cressida looked hurt. Eloise sighed. Perhaps she was a bit too harsh. "I apologise, Cressida. I did not mean-"

"Yes, you did." Cressida turned and marched off. In truth, Eloise did not feel bad. Instead, she made her way to the Featherington tent. Varley was the first to notice and she called Lady Featherington. 

"Ah, Miss Bridgerton. Have you come to congratulate my daughter?" Eloise smiled, and Penelope quickly looked up from the book she was reading. 

"Good day, it is good to see you all." Eloise waved. "I have come to speak to Penelope. Perhaps she could teach me a thing or two about attracting a suitor?" Eloise feigned a smile. Portia looked pleased. 

"If you wish to speak to my Penelope you could have just told me. There is no need to lie, Miss Bridgerton." Portia said. 

"Of course, forgive me." Eloise politely said as Penelope bookmarked her novel. She handed the book to Rae. Penelope walked pass her sisters, who snickered silently and then smiled at her mother.

"I shall see you soon, mama."

Chapter Text

"So, as it turns out, we will not be spinsters together." Penelope said, breaking the silence as they took a slow stroll together. 

"I am just glad you got what you were looking for this season," Eloise said, her eyes still tracing her steps on the floor. Penelope stopped their stroll and grabbed her arm. 

"Eloise-" Penelope hoped she would at least look at her and after a minute, she did. She was met with Eloise's eyes and she gave a small smile. 

"I am mad at you, but I miss you, Penelope." Eloise confessed, and Penelope smiled even brighter. 

"I miss you too, El. Not being by your side is torture." Penelope added. 

"We must fix this. I cannot keep conversing with Cressida. It has proven to be too much for me to handle." Eloise confessed. Penelope's smile faded.

"So you came to me because Cressida is not all that you hoped she would be?" Penelope lowered be hand from Eloise's arm. 

"No, not at all. I have been feeling a certain way about her. Truly, I enjoyed her company at first but in all honesty, I may have befriended her to spite you." Penelope was grateful for her honesty. 

"I understand why you did not wish to speak to me, but you hardly gave me a second to explain myself." Penelope said. 

"I was too hurt, and upset. And I had the right to be. What you did -" Eloise stopped her words in their track. 

"I know what I did. It was shameful and hurtful." 

"And you have tried to apologise, but I would not listen." 

"Eloise, you had reason to be upset with me. Please, just stand here and allow me to apologise." Penelope took a deep breath as Eloise looked on. "I apologise for what I did. If I knew of another way to protect you, believe me, I have have done that. But I was selfish. I thought of just myself and protecting my own identity. For that, I can understand why you chose not to be my friend anymore." Penelope took a small break from talking to register Eloise's face. She was expressionless. "And above all else, I betrayed your trust. You shared a secret with me, and I used it as a topic of conversation in my gossip column. For that, I can understand why you would not want to be my friend anymore. What I did was wrong and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make amends." Penelope confessed as Eloise's eyes watered lightly. 

"Pen, if you had said this to me sooner, I would have forgiven you in an instant. In truth, I was a bit envious of you. You were living a life I wanted for myself. I enjoyed the gossip, but not when it involved me." Eloise said. 

"And it should not have been like that! I have made a promise to myself to use my quill more responsibly. We have a lots to discuss, but please, can you ever forgive me? I will understand if you do and we can never be friends again." Eloise shook her head. 

"We simply cannot have that. I will forgive you and we can still be friends." Eloise pulled her in for a hug, and it was better than any hug Penelope had ever received. She longed to have her best friend by her side, especially since she was about to a married woman. They stayed in each other's embrace for longer than expected, and neither of them complained about it. All felt right in the universe. Eloise had forgiven her, and she was about to marry Lord Debling. 

"No tears," Penelope wiped Eloise's years from her cheek as they broke their warm hug. "You are going to make me start crying." 

"Well then forgive me, but Penelope, you are who I aspire to be, except for the married part." Penelope laughed. Eloise laughed. It was a wonderful day, indeed. The clouds above proved so, but Eloise and Penelope were back. 

They continued their little stroll, going to their secret spot. Together, they sat on a little bench overlooking the river. 

"So, Lord Debling?" Eloise asked. 

"Yes, Lord Debling. He is kind and caring, and I can continue Whistledown in peace." Penelope said. 

"I get that. I wish I paid more attention to you. Have you always wanted a husband and children?" Eloise asked, and Penelope looked at the beautiful scenery ahead. 

"In truth, yes. I wanted to marry for love."

"Do you not love Lord Debling?" Eloise asked, and Penelope lowered her head. 

"He is kind, and someday, love might grow." 

"Does your heart call another's name?" Penelope looked sharply at Eloise. She had a small smile on her face. "It is more than okay if it does." 

"I do not know what you speak of." Penelope lied. 

"We just got our friendship restored and you lie to me?" 

"I do not think you will like what I have to say."

"It is my brother, is it not?" Penelope sat there in silence. How could she possibly know. Did Colin speak to her?

"Eloise-"

"Penelope, it is okay. We are the best of friends, but I would have loved the idea of you being my sister too." Penelope sighed with relief. She was not upset. 

"How do you know?" She curiously asked. 

"Colin was not too thrilled when he found out you got engaged. And, my mama knows. In fact, we all know. Colin was not very subtle about his love for you."

Penelope really screwed up. He loved her and his family knew? Why did she allow her head to answer? She would have lived a happy life with Colin. She would have been the wife he would make happy. He would have been the best father to their children. What had she done?

"He truly loves me?" Penelope asked. 

"Yes, Penelope."

"Have I made a mistake?" 

Of course you did, Penelope! What sort of question is that? 

"I am not going to tell you what to do, Penelope. You are about to become a Countess. With all your new resources you could take Lady Whistledown to new heights. I understand why you are choosing to marry for practicality. But what of your heart, Penelope. You say love might grow between you and Lord Debling, but love already exists between you and Colin." Eloise said, practically shaking reality into her. 

"I have already ruined my chances with Colin. He knows I am Lady Whistledown." Penelope said, and Eloise sighed. 

"He will get over it. I hope it does not take him as long as it did with me, but he will. Colin is more sensible that I am." Eloise said, then quickly retorted. "Actually, I take that back. He came to realise his feelings for you a lot later than he was suppose to."

___

"Eloise, where have you been? I was just about to send a search party to look for you!" Violet scolded. 

"Forgive me, I was having tea with a friend and her family." Eloise said. 

"I did not see Lady Cowper here." Violet looked around. 

"I was having tea with Penelope." They all looked at her. 

"I thought we were not allowed to bring her up!" Anthony quickly said. 

"He is not here, so we can." Eloise said, sitting next to Benedict. 

"Since he is not here, since when does Colin have feelings for Penelope?" Before anyone could answer, Lady Danbury approached the tent. 

"I do hope I am not intruding in some Bridgerton shenanigans." She said as they all greeted her.

"Shenanigans? I children would never." Violet said. 

"Anyway, it is so lovely to see you all."

"How about answering my question, dear siblings?" Anthony shot up. 

"How about we go for a walk, Lady Danbury." Violet said as the two of them went off. 

"Apparently, Penelope has always been in love with our brother. Colin also loves her, but he did not say a word to her about her. And now she is engaged to an Earl and he is sad." Hyacinth said, and Anthony looked at his little sister in shock. 

"Well, that is certainly plenty of information to digest." Anthony said, looking at his wife. "Kate, can you believe this?" 

"Never a dull moment in our family." Kate shrugged. 

"Truly, and now our brother is where, exactly?" Anthony asked. 

"He is talking a walk around. I saw him stalking Lord Debling and Penelope when I found him." Eloise said. 

"My, my! Our brother is down bad!" Benedict added. 

"Let us not joke about this. What do we do? I have spoken to Penelope. She loves him, but she cannot marry him." Eloise said. 

"Why not? Every young lady wishes to marry for love." Kate asked. 

"That is... personal. But now, Colin is going away again because he cannot bare to see them get married. He leaves in two days." Eloise said. 

"It breaks my heart to see Colin suffer. Ultimately, the ball is in Penelope's court. She should play wisely." Kate said, and that was the last time they mentioned Penelope again as Colin made his way back to the tent. 

"Family, I think I should like to take my leave now. I will see you all at home. Please do inform mother." Colin said, then ran off. 

___

"Where have you been?" Colin asked as he waited for Eloise in her room. 

"Goodness, Colin! You scared me!" She placed a hand over her chest. 

"Forgive me, sister. Now shut the door." Eloise did as she was told. "How do you know?"

"I overheard your conversation. I snuck in too. I wanted to speak to Penelope but you were already there. I left after she told you she is Whistledown. Rae caught me and ushered me out." Eloise said. 

"You overheard a private conversation."

"You both were talking loud. It was hardly private." Eloise folded her arms. "Now tell me, will you accept Whistledown. That is the only way I see fit for her to marry you." Colin's interest peaked. 

"Has she spoken to you?"

"Yes, and she is marrying for practicality. If you allow her to continue, she will come around." Eloise said. 

"I cannot accept Lady Whistledown. I wish to marry Penelope Featherington." Colin said. 

"Then I am sorry, brother. You cannot marry her." Eloise said. 

"Can you not see how dangerous this game is that she is playing? How am I supposed to protect her? And she chose Whistledown over me!"

"Then choose Lady Whistledown too. Accept her and her flaws. Now I am not saying what she did is right, but if you love her, you will take her as she is. Lady Whistledown and all." The door behind Eloise slowly opened. Benedict popped his head in. 

"What?" Benedict's eyes looked as if they were going to pop out of their socket. "Penelope is Lady Whistledown?" Eloise pulled their brother inside and shoved him next to Colin. She slammed the door behind her, and moved closer to them. 

"Benedict, shut up! You will not breath a word of this to anyone!" Eloise warned, and he zipped his lips. 

"Colin, what will it be?" Eloise asked. 

"I cannot accept Lady Whistledown." 

"Then you are a fool undeserving of Penelope. She has found something that makes her happy! She writes, that is her passion. She promises to write more responsibly and now you wish to take the one things she is passionate about away from her? Honestly, I would marry Lord Debling too if I were her!" Eloise exclaimed. 

"You do not mean that."

"Oh, but I do. She has found purpose. Something you have not yet. In all honesty, taking something away from her because you do not have it is petty and it makes you seem jealous." Colin hoped his silence would go unnoticed. 

"Oh, dear God, brother! Are you jealous?" Benedict asked. Eloise eyed him. 

"He is!" Eloise exclaimed. "That can be the only acceptable reason why he will not accept Lady Whistledown!"

"You mentioned wanting to publish your journals. Penelope is a published writer. Brother, I cannot believe this!" Benedict said. 

"Does a woman having a job and a purpose frighten you? If so, mother has dropped you a few times on the head when you were a babe." Eloise crossed her arms. 

"This is ridiculous! I am not jealous." In truth, he was. Penelope made something of her life and he had not. 

"Just, get out of my room." Eloise jerked her thumb towards the door. Colin followed and left her room. 

"I did let him fall once. We were children. Could that he the reason?" Benedict asked.

"You too, out!"

Chapter Text

The wedding was a week away; Colin was set to leave for Italy in a day. His conversation with Eloise the day before did not go as planned. Benedict knew who Lady Whistledown was, and they were disappointed to learn of his jealousy. In truth, he was jealous. He did not think anyone else would notice. How could he not be? It is exactly what Colin wanted to do, just not how she went about it. As Colin sat in the drawing room with his family, he was pleased to learn of his sister's engagement to Lord Kilmartin. He was a good man and he would make Francesca very happy. 

"Colin, I beg of you. Please stay for the wedding. I must have all my siblings here." Francesca pleaded. 

"Of course, I will delay my trip until after your wedding. I would not miss your wedding, dear sister." 

"What of Daphne?" Hyacinth asked?

"What of me?" Daphne came into the drawing room and her family immediately huddled around her. Simon and Augie came hand in hand afterwards. Little Belinda was all but three months old and yet she travelled to come see her family. Colin admired that about his dear sister. 

"Daphne, what are you doing here?" Violet asked as she immediately grabbed a hold of her new grandchild, her first granddaughter. 

"I got a letter from the Earl of Sterling and he wished to have me present at my sister's wedding. I would not miss this, so of course I came." Daphne said, holding Francesca's hand. 

"You certainly did not have to come, I would have come to you, dear sister." Francesca hugged her sister tightly. 

"Do not be silly. I had to! And, it gives me the opportunity to have a word with Lord Kilmartin." Daphne said, going to speak to Francesca's betrothed. Colin stood beside Simon and Anthony. 

"Good to see you, brother." Simon said, and briefly hugged Colin. 

"You too, Simon. I see fatherhood looks rather good on you. It suits you." Colin said. 

"Oh, it certainly is the best." Simon smiled, then made his way around the room to greet his family. That is all Colin every wanted for himself. Perhaps his actual purpose was family.

A family with Pen.

Nothing warmed his heart more than family. In truth, family over writing. Perhaps he might find some solitude in raising a family and loving his wife. 

A family with Pen and loving her unconditionally.

Colin shook his head. The thoughts that flooded his mind (all of Penelope) was taking away from the joy right in front of him. His family. 

"Now, since we all here, what did I miss? Surely one of my siblings have has done the unthinkable and gotten themselves in trouble." Daphne teased. 

"Whatever do you mean?" Gregory asked.

"Last year, it was Anthony. He nearly married the wrong sister and the year before, I was me. I nearly married Lord Berbrooke. So tell me, who almost married the wrong person this year?" Daphne asked. Kate seemed a little uncomfortable at the mention of her sister, Colin noticed. 

"That is no joke to be made, Daphne. There were serious consequences that followed." Colin quickly said. 

"Colin, I was making a joke. I am sorry if it offended anyone." Daphne asked, earnestly. 

"Forgive me, I should not have snapped. I do not think Miss Edwina should be used as a lesson for us." Kate smiled at Colin. 

"I apologise, Kate. That was insensitive of me." Daphne said. 

"It is quite alright, although Colin makes a very good point. My sister is happier now, but still." Anthony grabbed her hand. 

"Benedict, what have you been up to?" Daphne's question quickly shook Benedict out of his daze. 

"Ask Colin, he is the one who snapped because the woman he loves is marrying another." Colin gave him a death stare. 

"Benedict -" Violet said. 

"Forgive me, mother. I merely forgot you told us not to mention Penelope in front of Colin." Benedict seemed upset, probably because of Colin's jealousy towards Penelope. It was rightfully intended. Colin deserved it. How dare he be jealous of a woman with passion and purpose?

"Penelope Featherington?" Daphne asked, looking at Colin. 

"Yes, and she is going to make such a beautiful bride! I saw her just yesterday at the modiste. Mama allowed me to attent with Eloise and Francesca. She was looking at wedding materials." Colin deserved to sit through this agony, that is what he told himself.

"Colin, have you spoken to Miss Penelope?" Simon asked. 

"I have, but she has already decided." Colin told them. 

"I am sorry, dear brother." Daphne said. 

"It is quite alright. After Francesca's wedding, I will be leaving for Italy. And when I write to you, please respond." Colin smiled at Daphne. 

"I will, do not worry."

"We will not be making those same promises. Sorry, brother." Anthony smiled wickedly. 

"Then what is the point I write?"

"For us to know you are alive, Colin. Anything can happen out at sea. We feel a sense of relief when we receive your letters." Kate said. 

"We read them, yes, but sometimes they can be too lengthy." Hyacinth said. 

"Mother, do you feel the same way?"

"Of course not, dear. And I always respond, do I not?" Violet smiled.

"You do, please do not ever stop responding to my letters. Penelope used to, until she did not." Colin brought her up and the room fell silent. 

"Since you brought her up, who is she marrying?" Daphne asked. 

"Lord Debling." Colin replied. 

"Alfred Debling? Why, he is a very honourable man. I have met him a few times outside London. He even assisted me when my carriage broke down a few years back." Colin did not want to hear how great Lord Debling was from Simon. 

"Cressida tore Penelope's dress and he was so quick to assist her. He certainly is quite the gentleman." He was glad Daphne picked up his uneasiness after Francesca's comment. She shifted the conversation. 

"Cressida Cowper is still a bully? Some things never change around here." Daphne said. 

"Although some things did. Eloise and her are friends." Daphne nearly spit out her tear. 

"Oh, Eloise please tell me Hyacinth is making a terrible joke." Eloise rolled her eyes. 

"I was her friend. Past tense. I have grown rather tired of her abusive ways." Eloise quickly said. 

"Eloise, I should keep a record of your friendships. You and Penelope stopped being friends, then you befriended Cressida, and now you and Cressida are no longer friends, and now you are friends with Penelope again. That certainly is a mouthful to say out loud." Hyacinth said. 

"Then perhaps you should not say anything at all." Eloise defended. Colin sulked back in his chair, as Eloise did. At least one of them had Penelope in their corner, and it was not him. 

___

Penelope prepared for the Mondrich Ball that night in a positive light. She had been looking forward to the ball planned by the Mondrich family. She looked at herself in the mirror for a moment, and she felt confident. She had never felt that way about herself. She always tore herself down as she knew that is how people would perceive her - just as a woman who had no marriage prospects and was destined for spinsterhood. Now, she was to wed an Earl. She felt a sense of pride. All her efforts this season had paid off. 

"Miss?" Rae said, interrupting her thoughts. "Eloise is here." Penelope looked at the door of her room. She was dressed up for the ball already. Rae took her leave and left the girls by themselves. 

"Eloise, what are you doing here?" 

"Francesca and Lord Kilmartin are engaged." Eloise said. 

"Oh, that is wonderful news."

"The date for the wedding is unknown, but they will likely be married after you."

"And why are you telling me all this?"

"Because Colin would never miss one of his sibling's weddings. He has postponed his trip until after Francesca is married." Penelope did not know what to say, so she did not say anything. 

"Pen?"

"He is going to be here when I get married?"

"Yes, Pen. I just said that." Penelope turned back to the mirror she once looked at and soothed her hair. 

"Okay, I am ready to go." Penelope turned back around.

"Pen!"

"What?"

"My brother loves you. You love him. You are getting married and it is not to him." Eloise said as Penelope shrugged. 

"Eloise, I do not care. He cannot accept Lady Whistledown, so I cannot accept him. He has made that clear, and I have made my decision. There is nothing to discuss." Penelope replied. 

"I have spoken to him. I have told him he is undeserving of you if he cannot accept you fully. What if he comes around and decides to speak to you before your wedding? My brother is impulsive." Fear ran through Penelope. She did not what to be the source of yet another scandal. Colin was daring enough to come see her in her bedroom. Of course he would try and speak to her before her wedding. 

"Penelope?" Portia came into her room, seeing Eloise there as well. "Miss Bridgerton. Lovely to see you. Perhaps you would like to come through the front door, next time?" Portia weakly smiled. 

"Of course." Eloise nodded. 

"And you, my girl. Are you all done?" Portia asked. 

"Mama, I do not think I should go tonight." Penelope said. "I do not think I should make any more public appearances until my wedding."

"Penelope, where is this coming from?" Portia asked, then looked at Eloise. "What does she mean?"

"I do not know." Eloise replied. Penelope did not want to be the cause of a scandal and embarrass herself, her mother and Lord Debling in the process. If something were to happen, it would be her facing public scrutiny. 

"Penelope, this is quite normal." Portia said, moving closer to her daughter. Penelope looked up at her. 

"How?"

"You are nervous. A blushing bride nervous to come across her husband." Portia smiled. It was far from the truth. "But do not worry, Penelope. I shall chaperone you and Lord Debling. I will try my very best to make sure you are taken care of." Portia rubbed Penelope's shoulders. "And, you look beautiful." 

"No, mama-"

"You are already dressed." Portia added. She knew she was not going to win, so she plastered a small smile on her face. 

"Okay, but please, do not let me out of your sight." Penelope pleaded. 

"Of course not, dear." Portia smiled, then turned to face Eloise.

"Miss Bridgerton, is your family not waiting for you?" She asked, and she watched as Eloise nervously smiled. 

"I was hoping to take a lovely ride with the lovely Featherington ladies to the Mondrich Ball tonight." Eloise said as Penelope stiffled a laugh. 

"Mmmm, I see. Next time, let me know beforehand. And since you like being around us so much, perhaps you can keep me company in a carriage rides after Penelope is married. I will be so lonely, since all my girls will be off married." Portia scrunched her nose, and Eloise mimicked her. 

"I will think about that tempting offer, Lady Featherington. Truly." Eloise said. 

"Do not think too long about it. The offer has an expiration date." 

"Oh, well then I better start thinking about it." Eloise faked a smile, so did Portia. Penelope smiled as she watched their interaction, then she watched as her mother left them once again. 

"You mother certainly knows how to make a girl feel special." Eloise joked. 

"That is Portia Featherington." 

__

The Mondrich Ball was exquisite. The Queen made an appearance and she was impressed. Penelope could not wait to include this in Whistledown. She knew how many people did not like how Alice and Will came to their fortune, but she was excited to write a spendid review on their behalf. 

"Miss Featherington, I do hope you have space for me on your dance card." Lord Debling asked, and she smiled. 

"Of course, my Lord." She allowed him to fill his name on her card and then, he took his hand in hers. Eloise and Portia smiled at her. 

"Mama, Eloise, behave." Penelope warned them before walking off. 

"Behave? Do they not like one another?" Lord Debling asked. 

"They certainly do put on a good show, but I am sure underneath all that, they like one another." Penelope joked. 

"You must tell me all about their dynamic. It seems absurd." 

"Of course, I shall. Once we are married I will tell you all about my family dynamics." She added, and he laughed. 

"We might have a longer discussion then, since you must tell me how you became fast friends with the Bridgertons." 

"That is easy, I befriended Eloise, and in doing so, I gained the friendship of all her siblings as well." Penelope smiled.

"Even Colin Bridgerton?" His name coming from Lord Debling's mouth left an unwanted taste in her mouth. 

"Even him, my Lord."

"And he is the one who helped you seek a husband? You mentioned this one time." 

"Yes, and it helped. Here we are, betrothed." Penelope said. 

"I suppose I should thank Mr Bridgerton. I get to call you my wife in a matter of days." Lord Debling was kind and caring, and he had a heart as pure as gold. She knew she would be happy with him, and she convinced herself love might grow. She had to be hopeful. Conversation with him was easy, and she enjoyed it. They could talk about anything, and he would not judge her for little comments. In fact, he loved that she spoke her mind so freely. She was getting all she needed out of this partnership. She was happy.

_

"Miss Bridgerton," Portia said, her eyes lightly tracing the girl. 

"Lady Featherington." Eloise responded. 

"I must say, I rather enjoy your little witty comebacks." Portia said, and Eloise smiled. 

"I am pleased to hear that. My mother is not entirely a fan of it." Eloise said. 

"At least you know you can be your true self around me. I would love to see just how far you can go." Portia said. 

"You know, I like that you enjoy my company. I truly am the greatest to be around, right?" Eloise teased.

"Oh, do not get ahead of yourself. I merely complimented your wittiness, not your presence." Portia said. 

"Oh, but they come as a package deal. My wittiness and my presence. You enjoy it either way. I am certain you missed me while I was not around your lovely home." 

"Why is that you no longer came to our lovely home, Miss Bridgerton?" Portia asked. 

"I had an argument with Penelope. We needed space." Eloise said, and it was not in any way a lie. 

"So you stopped visiting? And here I thought you would have came over just to say hello to me. You have broken my heart, Miss Bridgerton." Portia joked, and Eloise turned to her. 

"I have just thought of your offer. I will accompany you to some balls after Penelope is married off." Eloise said, and Portia smiled. 

"That is okay. I would rather sit in silence." Portia smiled, then walked off to go see her daughters. Eloise watched in surprise as Lady Featherington marched off. 

"She is one confusing lady." Eloise crossed her arms. "And I quite like her." 

"Who?" Benedict asked, handing Eloise a glass of lemonade. 

"Lady Featherington. She admires my wit." Eloise took a quick sip. 

"She might be the only one."

_

Colin arrived later than his family only to see Penelope and Debling in the middle of a dance. His blood boiled, his heart broke. He was angry, but he was also hurt. His Penelope was dancing with another, another man she intended to marry. He suddenly did not feel like being in the very same room as them, and as he turned around to leave, his mother grabbed his arm. 

"Stay, only for a little while." She said, and he agreed. For his mother's sake. He found Benedict and Eloise in conversation and decided to join them. 

"Ah, look who decided to show up." Benedict patted his back harshly. 

"I am here on mother's behest." Colin said, taking Benedict's drink and sipping it. 

"Hey!"

"Boys, behave!" Violet silently scolded, then hurried off. 

"So, I take it you plan to slip out soon?" Eloise asked. 

"Once mother is thoroughly occupied, I will take my leave." Colin said. His eyes wandered to Penelope and Debling once more. She looked happy. They looked good together. 

"I spoke to her, Colin." Eloise said as he felt his eyes burning on his. "She has made up her mind about you. You cannot accept her fully so she is choosing Lord Debling fully. She does not have any doubts. It is over for you, Colin. I am sorry, but I did try and speak to her in your favour." Eloise replied. He watched as she laughed at something Lord Debling said. Perhaps they would be happier together than she and him would ever be. He had to accept that. Hopefully his travels will ease his mind of Penelope Featherington, the one that got away. 

_

"Miss Featherington -"

"Penelope, please." She said, and he smiled.

"Very well, Penelope. I wish to ask something." Lord Debling asked.

"You already asked, and I said yes." She joked. 

"I am glad to know you still feel the same way. But I wish to ask you another question."

"Okay, my Lord."

"Alfred." 

"Very well, Alfred. Ask your question."

"Do you remember when you asked me if love could grow?" Penelope's heart raced. 

"I do, you said your work takes up too much space in your heart."

"I do believe love can grow. I only said what I did because I thought maybe you might think so." Alfred said, gazing into her eyes with his blue ones. "You are kind, beautiful and I would be so lucky to call you my wife, my beautiful wife." Penelope's heart felt fuzzy and warm, a feeling she did not think anyone buy Colin could give her. Alfred Debling was a handsome man with a loving soul. She could fall on love with him wholy. 

"I believe I could fall in love with you too, Alfred. My interests take up a large portion of my heart too, as does yours but I believe there is some space for love to blossom between the two of us as well."

"I am glad to hear that, Penelope." Penelope lightly blushed. 

"This night could not be any more perfect. And I know you will still travel, but I will write to you constantly. You will never miss me, I promise." He laughed a bit, making Penelope smile. 

"And I will write back all the time, Penelope. You will never miss me either. In fact, you might get tired of my constant letters."

They danced the night away in bliss, and Penelope could not be happier. She had not thought of Colin in the slightest bit. Alfred Debling was her future, Colin Bridgerton was her past. One conversation changed all of that, and she was proud. 

_

As Penelope and Lord Debling stood by the lemonade station, the Queen arose from her perched chair and she called for the music to stop playing. 

"I wish to make an announcement." Everyone watched on in silence and anticipation. "As it seems, Lady Whistledown has been in a rather good mood. She speaks highly of your Queen, and as much as I appreciate, the identity of this gosip monger still haunts me. So this brings me to my next point."

Penelope held her breath as Eloise stood beside her. They shared a quick look between one another. 

"Everyone not a Bridgerton, Featherington or Cowper, get out. Of course, Mondrich and Danbury, you are excused from leaving. But everyone else, out!" The Queen demanded, and the room stood still. 

"Now!" They scurried off in a hurry. Penelope crossed her arms. Benedict and Colin stood besides Eloise and Penelope. 

"Someone in this very room is Lady Whistledown." They looked around at one another, and Penelope noticed Lady Danbury's look lingered on her the most. She grew nervous and anxious, and she felt as if her stomach was about to make her sick. 

"Your Majesty, if I may speak?" Lady Cowper stepped forward. 

"Oh, you are a Cowper too. I merely wanted the Cowper girl. Lady Cowper, you are dismissed." The Queen pointed her in the direction of the door. She bowed as she made her exit, leaving her daughter behind. 

"Now if I may continue, I have reason to believe someone in this room is Lady Whistledown. I cannot say for certain who, but I am hardly ever wrong." They listened attentively. Colin's hand grazed against Penelope's, and she hoped it was a way to show he was supporting her. She told herself that. 

"You see, I accused Eloise Bridgerton just last season of being Lady Whistledown." The Bridgertons, unaware of this information, turned to their daughter. Violet looked as if she wanted to scold her daughter right then and there. "I had my people follow Miss Bridgerton as she met with those radicals. But the day after I accused her of such an act, she appears in Whistledown. Her secret was exposed. Now, here is what I think happened-" The Queen moved much closer to Eloise. Penelope's heart was beating faster with each step the Queen took. 

"You spoke to someone about my accusation, and this person is Lady Whistledown. You asked her to share your secret so that I would be thrown off and you would no longer be my prime suspect." Eloise closed her eyes, the image just as intimating to her as it was for Penelope. 

"The cat caught your tongue?" The Queen asked, and Penelope felt the need to speak. 

"Forgive me, your majesty, but was it not your majesty who asked Miss Bridgerton to discover Lady Whistledown's identify two seasons ago?" Penelope found herself saying. The Queen turned to her. 

"Miss Featherington, I believe I know I am onto something here. Perhaps she did this so she would not be a suspect on my list. Perhaps she wrote such things about herself. She is a Bridgerton, she has the resources to run late errands if she pleases, just as she did last year." 

"Your Majesty, if I may?" Anthony stepped forward. 

"You may."

"I can assure you, nothing of that sort is happening under my protection." Anthony replied. 

"Perhaps Lady Whistledown is a Bridgerton protecting their own, or perhaps she is a dear friend of Miss Bridgerton, which brings me to Cressida Cowper." The Queen turned to her. Cressida looked stunned. 

"Your majesty?"

"Do not look so surprised. What I failed to mention is that whoever brings me evidence of Lady Whistledown's identify will be rewards handsomely." Cressida seemed as if she was struck by lightning. Eloise mentioned her father planned to marry her off to one of his aged friends. Knowing Cressida, she would stop at nothing to find whoever Whistledown is just for the reward money.

"I intend to pay whomever brings legitimate evidence to me, so I turn to you, Miss Cowper. You have been a suspect on my list too. Your friendship with Miss Bridgerton has opened your world to more people. I have never seen you conversed with Miss Featherington and yet, her secret ended up in Whistledown. Miss Bridgerton must have informed you of her lessons with Mr Bridgerton and you wrote to embarrass her. You must have written about Miss Bridgerton to protect her. You must have written about everyone else because you are miserable at home. I know your father plans to marry you off, so I have watched you for a while."

"And Miss Featherington has been but a wallflower for most of her seasons out, and I heard you tried courting her betrothed. You have reason to embarrass her and her family. I went back and re-read some of those sheets. The Featherington's have been but a laughing stock because of Whistledown." The Queen stated. "It is that, or The Featherington's wrote about themselves." She turned to Lady Featherington. 

"Your Majesty, we do not pride ourselves in being the laughing stock of the ton. We would never do such a thing." Portia replied.

"But your youngest daughter would -" she turned to Penelope, then slowly made her way to Penelope. 

"You would protect your best friend, would you not?"

"Yes, your majesty." Penelope replied, nervously. 

"Would you embarrass yourself to protect your identity as Lady Whistledown? Would you allow your family to become a laughing stock to protect your identity? Would you-"

"Your majesty?" The Queen looked annoyed, as Penelope observed. Her head titled as she rolled her eyes in Cressida's direction. 

"You dare interrupt me, young lady?" 

"I have a confession to make." The Queen did not dare move away from Penelope, which made her extremely nervous. All she did was turn to face Cressida. 

"In my first season out, I learned it was easy to listen and gossip with the other ladies of the ton, and so I continued this journey. This season, I became friends with Miss Bridgerton to learn about her secrets and what might happen behind the doors of her home. I learned Miss Featherington had captured the attention of Lord Debling, so I shared her secret involving with Mr Bridgerton. I knew it would scare her potential suitors away, and hopefully they would come to me. That did work in my favour as now she is bethrothed and I am not." Cressida said, a small smile emerged on her face. 

"What are you saying, girl?" Lady Danbury voiced. Everyone looked at Cressida with shock. 

"Your accusations are right. I am Lady Whistledown." 

Chapter Text

Lady Danbury sat in the presence of her Majesty, The Queen after the little show she put on at the Mondrich Ball the night before. It was a little out of her nature, Lady Danbury recalled. She did not think the Queen would do what she had done. 

"I know you simply did not call me from the confines of my home to sip tea, your majesty." Lady Danbury stated while a smirk crept on The Queen's face. 

"Lady Whistledown has been good as of late, and I grew rather bored. She has not written anything scandalous or salacious as of late. I miss the rivalry we once had." 

"So you decide to temp her to write something scandalous?"

"Yes, but I do think my plan may have backfired, Lady Danbury." The Queen confessed, leading Lady Danbury towards the brim of confusion. 

"Backfired? You must explain what you mean." 

"Well-" she placed her teacup on the little table before her. "I wanted to goad her into writing about me again, but instead, I got another claiming to be Lady Whistledown all for a measly £5000. Admittedly, that was my mistake."

"Your Majesty, did you just admit to making a mistake?" Lady Danbury sat back in shock. 

"And if you tell a soul I shall simply deny that. I did not expect anyone to come forward. But I really do believe Lady Whistledown was in that room last night. If not Cressida Cowper, I do believe it is someone closer to Miss Eloise Bridgerton." The Queen replied. 

"And you are basing this theory off your accusations last season?" 

"I had no other leads. Miss Bridgerton was a dead end. I had to reel Lady Whistledown out somehow. That Featherington girl was quick to defend her." The Queen said, lifting her cup once more. 

In truth, Penelope had been a suspect on Lady Danbury's radar as well. Nobody would suspect her, and to be Lady Whistledown meant anonymity. Penelope Featherington could pull that off with ease. Or rather, she could. She is set to become a Countess. But the advantage of her match would be that her husband is an admirer or nature. He would be off travelling and it would give her much more freedom to write as she pleases. 

"Penelope Featherington is a friend to Eloise. Of course she stepped in, as I would for you, Your Majesty." Lady Danbury said, and the Queen smirked once more. 

"You would defend me like that? Lady Danbury, I am pleased."

"I have known you for a very long time, your majesty. I consider you a dear friend, as I do Violet Bridgerton. I simply do not believe any of them are capable of being Lady Whistledown."

"Your loyalty to that family surprises me." 

"The Duke, whom I practically raised, married Violet's oldest daughter. They are like family to me." 

"I understand, Lady Danbury. So, my boredom has led me to a false Lady Whistledown. What do you suggest I do?"

"Play the game, your majesty. Who knows, perhaps she is the true Lady Whistledown. Let her write a convincing column, and if she has the ton eating out the palm of her hand, as she usually does, you will know, for nobody else can make the ton swoon with her words much like Lady Whistledown."

___

TWO DAYS LATER

The ton had been abuzz with the Whistledown accusations from the Queen, and Penelope had figured it would be best to lay low, not not publish anything at point. Her wedding was three days away, so she occupied her mind with wedding planning with her mother. Eloise occasionally joined for the sake of Penelope, but grew rather bored since she had no interest in marriage. 

As Eloise made her way home for the day, Varley made her way into the drawing room announcing a visitor. 

"That solicitor is here, ma'am." Portia looked at Penelope and quickly escorted her out of the room. Penelope was escorted out by Varley, and it left an unsettling feeling in her stomach. Her curious nature had to know what their meeting was about, so when Varley resumed her hously chores, Penelope snuck back into the room. Her height played an advantage. 

"-cousin Jack stole from the ton. That is how you came into your fortune. You are profiting off his ill-mannered upbringing."

"I have informed you, my dearest aunt left us with great fortune. I cannot be any clearer."

"You lie to me, Lady Featherington. I have spoken to your Aunt's financial advisers and the people around her. She did have a penny to spare since she was living a life of extreme poverty." Penelope heard her mother sigh. "My finding will be brought forth to the Queen. Good day, Lady Featherington." He turned and Penelope panicked. She had been caught. "Ah, good day." He bowed, and she did too. Penelope felt an urge of anger rush through her chest. Her mother, whom she was so convinced had changed for the better, had profited off stolen money. 

"Is it true?" Penelope asked, and Portia took a seat. "Is your money from Cousin Jack's?" Penelope asked once more. 

"Oh, do not question me, young lady!"

"That is a crime! The Queen will definitely pass this estate onto the next eligible Featherington in the family and you would be left destitute. Mother, what were you thinking?" 

"I was thinking... I had to find some way to support my family and keep this household afloat! All my life I was told power comes from a man. All the men in my life was just as dumbwitted and fools as my father once was. How was I supposed to raise girls when I was told that very sentiment? No male around, so I had to do what I could to protect my family." Portia sighed in defeat. 

"It still does not justify what you have done, mother!"

"You do not have children of your own yet, Penelope. You will not understand. One day you will, but for now, I wish not to speak on this matter any longer." Penelope knew her mother was right. Portia did all she could to take care of her children. 

"For all my life-" Portia said as Penelope say next to her. "Or for as long as I have been a mother, I wanted nothing but the best for my daughters. Now, Phillipa and Prudence is married off and they are safe and secure. You will be married soon and I shall be glad knowing I have played my part. All I ever wanted was my girls to do better than I did, and they have. I do not care what happens me to. As I long as I know my girls are okay." Penelope reached forward and grabbed her mother's hand. 

"You are right, I do not understand what you are going through, but mama?" Penelope asked, and Portia turned to her daughter. "You have done well. You have managed this household well, without any need of a husband. How you came to your fortune is a crime, but you have done well with the resources you were given." Penelope smiled. 

"What will Lady Whistledown write of my ruin? Of my criminal offense?" Penelope looked away from her mother.

She will write whatever I choose.

"She will not say anything, because nobody will know." Penelope said as a plan unfolded in her head. Her mother had come so far in her growth. Portia Featherington did not deserve to be humiliated by the ton or Lady Whistledown anymore. 

"What do you mean?"

"Do you trust me, mother?" Penelope asked, staring into her mother's eyes. 

"Of course," Penelope felt her mother's thumb run over her knuckles. 

"Okay, then leave this to me. I shall repay you for all you have done to keep me safe."

___

Penelope made her way to the Bridgeton house and as she entered the drawing room, she was surprised to see all Eloise's siblings look up from whatever they were doing just to stare at her. In truth, Eloise had told her all about them knowing about Colin's feelings towards her, but she did not expect them to just stare at her. 

"Penelope! It has been a while since I have seen you at Bridgerton House!" Violet said, and immediately hugged her. The warmth she felt from Lady Bridgerton never seized to surprise her. 

"And it lovely to be back here, but I only wish to speak to Eloise. Is that alright?" Penelope asked. 

"Of course, dear." Penelope watched as Eloise placed her box of chocolates on her seat where she sat. 

"I know how many I have in there." She warned Benedict. Eloise hooked her arms with Penelope and they ran off together, up the stairs and to her room. 

"I wonder that that is all about," Hyacinth asked. 

"It is probably just to talk. You did mention they have not been friends for a while." Daphne added. 

"That seemed a little more than just talking? Did Penelope seem nervous at all?" Violet asked. 

"It is probably because Colin is here." Gregory said. Colin's eyes still lingered on the spot where they left the room. 

__

"So, you wish to tell me what colour your mama has changed your wedding cake to?" Eloise laughed. 

"I am going to tell the Queen I am Lady Whistledown." Her smile faded.

"What?"

"Something has come up, something I cannot disclose with you at this very moment but-"

"Let Cressida take the fall. There is no way she is able to write something nearly coherent." Eloise said. 

"No, I cannot. I am doing the right thing here. If you knew why, I am certain you will also agree." 

"Then tell me, Pen. Why are you putting yourself in such danger?" 

"I cannot, not just yet. I first need to talk to the Queen. Then, I will tell you whatever it is you need to know." 

"Then let me come too." 

"Absolutely not!"

"Pen-"

"Eloise, no! This is not up for discussion. As soon as I leave this house, I am going to the palace. She will see me because I know she certainly does not believe Cressida is Lady Whistledown." 

"What if she decides to throw you in the dungeon?"

"For writing gossip? Even our Queen would not do such a thing." 

"She is angry. You may never know."

"I have prepared for a situation like that. It is all written in this letter." Penelope handed Eloise a letter. "If you do not hear from me before my wedding, I want you to follow the instructions I have written out for you." Eloise quickly opened the letter. 

"You want Lord Debling to purchase a Dower House for your mother?" She asked, reading the first instruction. 

"Yes, it is because of her I must confess, and that is all I will say."

"Does your mother know you are Whistledown?"

"No, and I would like for it to stay that way. As a woman, I cannot purchase the property myself. I know Lord Debling, he will not let my mother suffer if the Queen chooses to lock me up. He also will not have to pay a cent. All my Whistledown earnings will go to her. I have written them all down in case you might forget. And of course, you know where I store all my earning, but I added that just in case." Penelope said. 

"I have a feeling I will not be able to change your mind." Penelope shook her head at her dear friends statement. 

"My mind is made up."

"Penelope, I wish you nothing but the best in your endeavour. I truly hope you get the outcome you are looking for." Eloise said, then pulled her in for a lengthy hug. 

"Thank you for being my greatest friend." Penelope added, then left her room. Eloise hid the letter in her draw and rushed downstairs to her family. She stood before two other brothers, who had her box of chocolates open before them. That was the least of her concerns at that point. 

"Benedict. Colin. A word?" 

__

As soon as Penelope spoke to the foreman about having a word with the Queen about Lady Whistledown, she waited for a while until Brimsley arrived.

"Your majesty will see you now, Miss Featherington." He said with a blank expression. She followed him to where the Queen was, sitting on her throne. Penelope felt nervous and uneasy, and she knew she had to act without the feeling in her stomach overpowering her. Once she was in reasonable distance with the Queen, she bowed. 

"Your Majesty."

"Rise, child. I have been informed you know something of Whistledown. I do hope this information is not false, and you have not come here just to claim the reward."

"No, your majesty. I do not come here hoping for a reward. You can keep your money. I do not need it. I am here to tell you a truth, and I will answer all your questions." 

"Then speak." Penelope looked around at the Queen's entourage. 

"Could we speak alone?"

"We may, but Brimsley stays." She said, and then it was just the three of them. "Now, if you will speak?"

"Yes, I will. But before I do I would like to beg for you mercy. I, in no way, intended for us to be in a predicament where you would not like what I had observed about the members of this ton."

"Miss Featherington, what are you implying?" Penelope looked between The Queen and Brimsley, nervously. 

"I am the true Lady Whistledown." They exchanged a look, Brimsley and Queen Charlotte. 

"I do not believe you. Lady Whistledown would not come out of her shadows. You are here for the money, girl."

"With Whistledown I have made far more than a measly £5000. If I wished, I would not have to marry because I could live off my Whistledown earning."

"And yet, you stand here bethrothed?"

"I am marrying Lord Debling for practicality. He has made it clear that he will be travelling most of the time in our marriage, and with him gone I will be allowed my privacy to write." Penelope said. 

"Okay, I will play along. Give me proof. Convince me." She leaned back. 

"Lady Whistledown has been writing for three years, for as long as I have been out in society. You see, it has been easy for me to walk about a room unnoticed because no one truly notices me. I am a wallflower, so the ton has deemed me so. I felt voiceless in own home and within the people I surrounded myself with, so I wanted to be heard. I have always loved reading and writing and after my sister fainted because my mama squeezed her corset too tight in front of your majesty in our first season out, I wrote about it, and I wrote about what I observed and heard from the balls I attended. I did it merely to report back to Miss Bridgerton, Eloise, that is because we had always planned to be spinsters together. Someday we would take a cottage and just live out the rest of our lives peacefully. I wrote so we could laugh about the expectations of women but in truth, I found myself being more and more captivated by the marriage mart. So I abandoned that dream of spinsterhood and I wrote what I had seen. My father's solitator happened to come across my writing and he told me he quite enjoyed it, and he encouraged me to publish it, so I did. I went with Lady Whistledown and it was the start of my anonymous power in society."

"Miss Featherington, that is good to hear why you started this column, to be heard. But why are you telling me all this? I want actual proof." 

"Yes, I was getting to that. You see, last year I followed Miss Bridgerton to her private meetings with the printer's apprentice, and I feared he might expose me and would take away the one thing I had for myself, so when she came to me in a state of panic about you accusing her of being Lady Whistledown, I did what I thought I had to do to protect my friend and my identity. Selfishly, I chose to ruin her and in the process, she would be protected and I would live another day as Lady Whistledown. It was not my finest moment, I will admit. That lead to serious consequences. Miss Bridgerton discovered it was I who nearly ruined her so she unfriended me. She could no longer trust me, and I did not blame her. I was friendless and made a mockery of in my own home, so I decided it was time to take a husband, one who allowed me my privacy. I wrote about myself in there because I had to. Not just to protect my identity, but because I was made a laughing stock of the ton. It would be suspicious if my acts were not reported. It seemed only fair after what I have done to Eloise." 

"And you do not feel remorse for what you have written about the rest of the ton?"

"I do not care about them, so no."

"And what you have written about me?" Penelope paused. 

"In truth, I felt powerful. I had your attention and you did now know who was making a mockery out of you. Perhaps not my finest moment either."

"I admire your courage to speak the truth."

"Thank you, but I believe I am not done just yet."

"There is more?"

"Unfortunately, yes. That is why I have asked for you mercy."

"Continue."

"After my cousin, who was here to claim his right as the new Lord Featherington stole money from the ton and took off, I knew my family would be left destitute. So I funneled my income as Lady Whistledown to my mother though a deceased aunt. It was the only solution I could think of and I did not believe anyone would look into my mother's aunt. Only, someone did. A solicitor came by and accused my mother of pocketing stolen money when in truth, I have been funding all her endeavours." Penelope lied to the most powerful woman she knew with ease. She hoped she would not be discovered. 

"You used your Whistledown money to fund your family?"

"I am merely a woman who collected money from her gossip sheet, and hid it under my floorboards. I purchased new gowns with my money but I still did not know what else to spend it one. Cousin Jack ruining us allowed me the opportunity to put my money to good use." She lied.

"That is honoured, but why have you begged for mercy?"

"Miss Bridgerton feared you might throw me in a cell and throw away the key because I have angered you, and I do not wish to be a prisoner." 

"What would become of your mother of I were interest in making you my prisoner?"

"I have planned in case that were the outcome of today as well. My mother would be put up in a Dower House if the solicitor took her estate away, all paid for by me. Miss Bridgerton would inform Lord Debling where I hide my money and he would purchase it for her using my money, and the rest of my funds would also be given to my mother so she could live a comfortable life while I am made to be your prisoner." Penelope confessed. 

"So you have only come forward because of this solicitor?"

"Yes."

"And do you wish to continue writing, Miss Featherington?"

"Yes, but I wish to aim my quill more responsibly under your permission. If not, I will no longer write. If you are still not convinced, I will gladly take you to the place where I get my column printed. They know of me, and they know I come at a certain hour of the night."

"That is quite a dangerous journey you make. Leaving your home in the middle of the night?"

"Yes, but I have hired a private hack and I trust them. They get me to the printers and back home safely."

"Okay, I am convinced. Although, I had already suspected you."

"Then why did I have to explain myself?"

"To confirm my suspicion."

"So what will happen to me now? Do I need to call off my engagement?" Penelope asked. 

"No, what is life without a little bit of gossip?" The Queen said, standing up. She made her way down the steps and stood before Penelope. "You have a way with words, Miss Featherington. I admire a woman with as much passion as you."

"Thank you."

"I will allow you to continue. I take it you would like your identity to remain anonymous?"

"Yes, please."

"You have my word, Miss Featherington. And please, extend the invitation to your wedding. I do not wish to miss the wedding of the esteemed Lady Whistledown." Penelope smiled. 

"Of course. You will have one by the end of the day." Penelope smiled. "But can I ask one more question?"

"You have the floor."

"What will happen to Miss Cowper?"

"Oh, that dreadful girl. I have asked her to write a convincing column and bring it to me before publishing it. She has yet to make her presence be know. I suppose I will have someone write to her and inform her not to worry." The Queen said. 

"My next issue will be in favour of you, your majesty. Just as all my future issues will be." 

"I should hope so. Make sure to mention just how good I will look at your wedding." Penelope smiled, then bowed. She was dismissed by the Queen and she felt a sense of relieve. She had saved her mother from embarrassment, and she could live another day to write as Lady Whistledown. All was well for her. 

__

"She cannot do that!" Colin exclaimed as the three Bridgeton siblings hid out in Eloise's room. "The Queen will have her head!" 

"She is already on her way. I could not stop her."

"You should have tried harder, Eloise!" Colin yelled and his siblings looked at him in shock. 

"Do not raise your voice at me. I am only sharing this secret with you because it is a bad idea. Penelope said she had to because it will save her mother. And perhaps she would like a clean conscience as well. I have been given instructions if I do not hear from her. I am a nervous wreck so please, let us just sit here and how it all works in her favour." 

As Colin sat on her bed, his leg anxiously pounced, awaiting her arrival. He wanted nothing more than to see Penelope come through the doors and soothe his aching, troubling heart. He had never imagined Penelope would be so daring and so decisive on her decision. He was nervous, but also proud. She tackled the issue a lot better than he knew he ever would, but that did not erase the uncertainty he felt. They sat in silence for a lot longer than Colin had hoped. Eloise was nervous, Benedict was just grateful to be included since he knew her secret identity. The feeling that Penelope might be in trouble bothered Colin. A lot. He simply did not want to wait around for her. 

"I will be back." He stood. 

"Where are you going?" Eloise asked. 

"Just to take a walk." He lied. He knew exactly what he wanted to do. He was going to see the Queen himself.

_

As Colin entered the room, he ignored the nervousness he felt. The unsettling feeling of the entire situation made him question his sanity, but he knew he had to be there because he loved her and he knew he would not be able to live with himself if something happened to her. 

"You are not the Bridgerton I was expecting." The Queen said, and Colin greeted her with a bow. 

"Forgive me, your majesty, but I am here to speak on Penelope - uh, Miss Featherington's behalf." Colin said, and then she exchanged a look with Brimsley. 

"How many of your know of Miss Featherington's secret ventures?"

"Just three of us, my brother Benedict included. Apart from myself and my sister, Eloise."

"And why are you here, young man?"

"Miss Featherington is a kind person. Yes, her words may be sharp but she is quite the opposite of Lady Whistledown. If you knew her like I do, you would know she is a warm person. Her laugh is infectious and on that same note, you will try to make her laugh for as long as possible just so your own heart could smile. She is smart, caring and a force of nature . She is the smartest woman I know, and I say this because I grew up with women, none of which possess Miss Featherington's good humour and gentle soul. She is my dearest friend, I and I cannot let her suffer the consequences by herself. She is too good."

"And why have you come instead of Lord Debling? Is there something you wish to share with your Queen?" A visible smirk appeared on her face. 

"As I mentioned, she is my friend."

"That is uncommon and improper. A lady is not simply friends with another gentleman, and that gentleman certainly does not just come before his Queen and pleads for my mercy, all for a dear friend." Colin shifted his eyes around the room uncomfortably. 

"That is all she is, your majesty. She is to be married in three days." 

"And how does that make you feel?"

"If she is happy, I am as well."

"As you wish, although I already know what your heart says. You cannot keep that from me since it is written all over your face."

"What my heart says does not matter. It is Miss Featherington we are meant to speak of."

"Alright, but if you must know, Miss Featherington pleaded her case already. I have passed my judgement already." Colin did not think it was possible for him to be more nervous than he already was. 

"Was it a positive outcome?"

"Yes. In fact, Lady Whistledown and I have mended our strained relationship. I have been invited to her wedding and I certainly will attend." The Queen stated. A sigh of relief exhaled through his mouth. 

"That is good to hear. Thank you for seeing me, your majesty." Colin bowed. 

"Before you leave, I wish to speak freely." 

"You do not need to ask, your majesty."

"I know." She said as Colin straightened his posture. "Why is that she is marrying Lord Debling? Have you not told her you love her?" Colin soon realised the Queen was a fan of a good love story. 

"I have, but in the same conversation I have told her I cannot accept Lady Whistledown. She is happy with her match to Lord Debling. I do not wish to destroy her happiness." 

"So you will be miserable for the sake of her happiness?" The Queen asked, and he nodded his head. "That is sad."

"It is what I deserve after why I discovered I cannot accept her. She is too good for me. Lord Debling will treat her well. Not a single person has a bad word to say about him." 

"And what is it that you have discovered?" He feared if he mentioned it the Queen would thrown him in the dungeon because of how simple minded he was. 

"She has always encouraged me to find my purpose, and I still have not. In truth, I have been envious of her. She has found something that gives her a purpose, something I cannot relate to. I overcame this envy by going back and reading all of the letters she has sent me while I was away travelling. I have long tried to seperate Lady Whistledown from Penelope, but I cannot. They are one in the same. Penelope is Lady Whistledown. I cannot change that, and now I would not want to. I cannot take away her purpose or her passion. It brings her joy." Colin said, and he was glad he could get that off his chest. 

"And have you told Miss Featherington that?"

"No, and I do not plan to. She is to be married." 

"You only come across one great love in your life. Some people are fortunate to have more, but the rest of us are clinging to memories of the one they love. Be smart, young man."

_

Colin thought of Queen Charlotte's parting words all the while making his way back home. He knew what he wanted to do, but he could not. This was a battle he was going to lose. He would rather let Penelope think he could not accept her than ruin her engagement to Lord Debling. 

In so, he did not make a smart choice. Instead, he only wanted to leave sooner. He had to ensure Francesca's marriage to Lord Kilmartin would happen in the next two days, before Penelope's wedding. 

Chapter Text

The day was finally upon them, their little Franny was getting married. It was a momentous occasion for that Bridgerton clan, who decided to celebrate this moment in private. Francesca wanted nothing more than to marry the man she so dearly loved and through Colin, she was able to do so a week quicker. Nobody knew it was Colin who swayed the bishop. All they were told is that God worked in their favour. 

Eloise watched her siblings in awe, all ready to embark on new and improved chapters in their lives and she was still here. She wanted to change the world, but all she knew was Mayfair. She could ask Anthony if she could accompany them to India but she did not want to be gone for too long. She could go with Daphne and Simon but she did not want to be around children all the time. She could accompany Colin but she did not like him very much at the moment. Benedict stayed in My Cottage, and it was not too far from home. She did not want to be close to home. Francesca was leaving to Scotland a day after Penelope's wedding, so she concocted a plan to ensure she had passage on their voyage. She would speak to Francesca after Penelope's wedding. 

She found her mother sitting with her grandchildren around her. With Eloise possibly leaving soon, it would just be Benedict, Gregory and Hyacinth in her care. She could use a break from her rowdy bunch. She and Kate planned a marvelous and intimate wedding for Francesca in a short period of time. She really could use a break. 

Penelope had gotten the break she deserved too. After speaking to The Queen, Penelope confessed the Queen would allow her to continue writing more responsibly. Everyone was moving on with their lives, and Penelope was getting married the next day as well. 

"Mama," Eloise said as she sat next to her mother. "I wish to ask you something." 

"Of course, dear. What is it?"

"Of course I have not spoken to Francesca about this yet since I wanted to speak to you first."

"Eloise, what are you saying?"

"Would it be okay if I accompanied her to Scotland for a little while? I only ask because I wish to see the world." Violet looked up from Belinda with a small smile. 

"You feel left out, am I correct?"

"Yes, mama. Anthony and Kate are going to India. Colin is going to Greece. Francesca is going to Scotland. Benedict is going to My Cottage. Daphne is going home after this. I wish to see more of the world, that is all."

"Okay." Eloise looked surprised. She was convinced she had sell her story more. 

"What?"

"Eloise, do not be surprised. I know you, my dear daughter. You wish to see the world before you change it for the better. Penelope is getting married tomorrow. She will not be across the street any longer. Your siblings are going off. You want to be included as well."

"Yes, I do!"

"And my answer remains the same. Yes, but you must come home before the next social season starts." Eloise lightly hugged her mother, then kissed her on the cheek. 

"Thank you, mama. You simply are the best."

"That I am aware of."

"I will speak to Francesca after Penelope's wedding." 

"How is Penelope?"

"Mama, she is a nervous wreck! But Lord Debling has been good to her. Since he discovered her nervousness, he has brought over little gifts to ease her and to assure her that all will be well." Eloise smiled. 

"I am happy for her. She deserves to have love." Eloise simply looked away. 

"Yes, love. Lord Debling is a good man for her."

"Colin would have been too." Violet said, and they both watched as Colin looked at the time. He was set to depart soon. 

"He would have, but he is a fool. He should have fought for her."

"Matters of the heart are complicated, dear. He knows Penelope will he happy with Lord Debling, that is why he had not interfered."

"She could be happy with him too."

"I know, but what is done, is done. Colin knows we will always have him. That is all that matters. Now for his heart, he will have to mend that by himself." 

___

Across the square, Penelope looked out the drawing room window for one last time. The view of Bridgerton House was always her favourite merely for the boy she had loved for years. For the last few days, life had been remarkably kind to Penelope. Her mother was eternally grateful to her for saving them, but even after her mother asked how she managed to save them, she would not tell her. 

"Miss?" Rae snapped her out of her thoughts. "You have a visitor." She got up and followed Rae to the garden, where she found Colin. He was sitting on the bench where he had once found her at the beginning of the season. Rae made her exit and Penelope stood before him. For once, her heart did not flutter at the sight of him. For once, she did not imagine what it would be like to be his wife because Lord Debling was her future. 

"Pen. I simply had to come see you before I leave later today." Penelope was shocked. 

"You are leaving?"

"Yes, now that Francesca is married, I have no reason to stay." She nodded her head and sat next to him. 

"Why do you wish to see me, Colin?"

"To say goodbye. This is the last you will see me for a while. I am leaving for Greece in a matter of hours." He was leaving because of her. "By the time I am back, you will be a married woman." He was so mature about it. The last time they spoke he begged her to marry him instead. 

"I wish you good luck on your voyage, Colin. Do not be a stranger." 

Do not be a stranger? Seriously, Pen!

"Does this mean you will respond to my letters this time around?"

"Forgive me, I should not have said that. I am to be married. It would be improper to respond to your letters. I will read them, but do not expect one in return." He simply nodded his head. 

"I have come to terms with your marriage to Lord Debling. It is for the better, but I do wish to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"My love for you was real. You were all I thought of after our first kiss. I wanted nothing more than a life with you, Pen. I did not lie. I meant every word I said to you." 

"And I meant it too, Colin. From now until the day I die, you will always be my first love. Not even Lord Debling can take that honour away from you."

"And you are mine, Pen. What I felt for Lady Crane was mere infatuation. This was love, Pen. And I have been a fool. I should have realised it sooner, but now here we are." 

"I am to be married and you are leaving for a lengthy stay in Greece." 

"I think I might travel the world, see how far I can go. Perhaps I shall find my purpose along the way, as you did." 

"And I wish nothing but the best for you, Colin. I hope you find your purpose." He reached out and grabbed her hand for the last time. 

"Thank you for the encouragement and friendship, Pen." He kissed her ungloved her hand, and she looked into his deep blue eyes. 

"Likewise." He placed her hand firmly on her lap, then stood up. 

That was the last conversation they had and Penelope felt at ease. It was mature and sensible. Now they both could move on. It was necessary. 

As Penelope made her way back into the house, she pondered what the next issue of Lady Whistledown would look like. She would include The Queen somehow and she would include Francesca's marriage to Lord Kilmartin. Perhaps she should include Colin and his travels and wish him a safe journey. As she sat comfortably at her desk, she picked up her quill and planned her next issue out. For once, she felt contend with her column. The Queen approved, and that was all she needed to continue in peace. 

___

The night sky was peaking above as Penelope's hack made its way to the printers for one last time as Penelope Featherington. The next time she would publish as Penelope Debling. As looked at her engagement ring on her finger. She still felt like she had to pinch herself. She really was going to be married the next day. It felt surreal and she hoped to be blessed with many children, above all else. 

As she stepped outside her hack, she noticed another slowly pulling up to. Quickly, she delivered her piece and hurried back to her hack, where someone already awaited inside. 

"Alfred?"

"Penelope, what is this?" 

"Why are you in my carriage? Did you follow me here?" She asked.

"I came to see you before we are to be married. I thought you might be a little nervous but clearly you are too occupied with your secret dealings!" Alfred said, and Penelope scoffed. 

"That does not give you reason to follow me!"

"I care about you, Penelope. And seeing you get in the back of a carriage at this time of the night worried me immensely! Explain yourself!" He demanded. 

"As you can see, I am safe. I have been doing this for years." She folded her arms as she sat back. The carriage had not moved yet. 

"Why are you here?" 

"Why did you feel the need to come see me at such a late hour?"

"Do not try to steer the conversation in another direction."

"Look at us, we are not even married yet and we are arguing like an old married couple already." She looked out the window. 

"Penelope, this is rather strange, you must see how this looks from my perspective. You are a young woman out here all by yourself. Forgive me for caring about your safety." He moved to sit next to her. "You may not think so, but I do care. You are to be my wife." It felt wonderful hearing him call her that. She was acting like a petulant child. She had to be mature about this. 

"Do you wish to know the truth?" She asked as she nodded his head. "I fear you might not want to marry me if I tell you." 

"Nothing you say will make me change my mind, Penelope." 

"Not even if I tell you I am Lady Whistledown?"

"Are you Lady Whistledown?" He asked, his remarkably blue eyes gazing into her. 

"Yes," 

"So you are not doing anything dangerous then?" He asked. 

"No,"

"Does the Queen not despise you?" He asked, his voice softening a bit. 

"I have spoken to her. She is aware I am Lady Whistledown." She was surprised he was not as upset Colin was. He really was the perfect man. 

"Oh, well then I guess I will follow behind you to make sure you get home safely." He said, attempting to stand but she pulled him back down. 

"Alfred, are you not upset? I write gossip and earn off money off it."

"I am not a fan of the people of this ton. They are condescending and mean. Do you enjoy what you do?"

"I do, actually. Writing is liberating." 

"I am not upset, Penelope. I was just greatly concerned for your safety." She smiled. She was so used to people being upset about her double life, but Alfred Debling surprised her in more ways than one. "So this was the passion you spoke of?" She nodded her head. "Well then, you must continue with your passion. Perhaps you could become a novelist with your gift." 

"I do hope for that someday. As you know, I am a fan of romantic novels. I wish to write one someday." 

"Then perhaps you could sign a copy for me, because this dream of yours is what I will support dearly." He smiled.

"I cannot believe you are okay with this." Life truly was being kind to Penelope.

Do I truly deserve this man? She asked herself. He was way too kind.

"Why would I not be? You enjoy it, and I am not going to take something you enjoy away from you. I do not wish to be cruel." Alfred said. 

"You do know what your support means to me, especially since we are to wed." Penelope said as she daringly placed a hand on his cheek. His face was soft and smooth, and he closed his eyes as her touch lingered on his skin. 

"Penelope -"

"I know you are a gentleman, but I wish to kiss you. Would that be okay?" She asked as his eyes slowly fluttered open. He did not answer. She feared he might think some sort of way of her. Instead, he answered by dipping his head forward. She gently grabbed his face with her hands and planted a kiss on lips. It was soft and delicate, and it was perfect. Slowly, he picked up the pace by slipping his tongue against her bottom lip. She allowed him entry and explored every aspect of her mouth with his tongue. His hands rested comfortably on her hips. Her hands traced the the bag of his neck. It was better than she imagined. 

As they pulled apart, Penelope's hands on his cheeks once more, caressing them with her thumb. 

"You are so beautiful, Penelope. I cannot wait to make you my wife." 

"I cannot wait to be your wife."

"Now come, let us get you home. You need your rest before becoming my Countess." She smiled, then he pecked her lips onces more before leaving her carraige. 

Butterflies...

Her smiled lingered as the carriage took off. She certainly was living her dream life with a man as wonderful as Lord Debling to be her husband. Her fingers traced her lips where he once was, replaying the memory in her head vividly. 

Penelope and Alfred...

She immediately begun brainstorming some cute ways to shorten his name. Alfie? Fred? Freddy? She would have to hear which one he liked best. Of course, he could call her whatever he wanted, as long as he called her his wife. 

Chapter Text

Penelope woke up the morning of her wedding with a smile on her face. She was about to become Alfred Debling's wife, and it was exhilarating to know that very fact. She got out of bed with an extra pep in her step and a sweeter tune to her melody, all until her mother came into her room, just as excited but at the same time, she had a message to deliver. Her mother sat her down comfortably. She knew what was to happen, the very same thing that happened when Phillipa and Prudence got married. She overheard a snippet of the conversation between her mother and Prudence while they out at the countryside, and it made Penelope ponder. It left her with more questions than ever. And so, she abandoned those questions that stirred up in her mind and focused on finding a husband. Now that she found a husband, perhaps the questions she had would answer themselves through her mother's little talk.

"There are things that might happen on your wedding night, things that might look and feel strange." Portia added, and Penelope grew more confused. She wondered what might occur that would look and feel strange. "I am merely letting you know because I do not want you to go into your wedding night oblivious."

"Okay..."

"Okay, so there is an act that a husband and wife perform on their wedding night, and it stretches far beyond their wedding night, in truth. This act is done mainly to please your husband and for a wife, to bare children."

"So this act is done to bare children?"

"Yes, Penelope. That is how children are made. You see, your husband will release a seed into you-" Penelope was perplexed, to say the least, but she was quick to interrupt. 

"A seed?" Portia sighed at her daughter's innocence. "Like a seed one might use to plant a flower?"

"No, it is sort of a liquid seed."

"Mama, you are confusing me. I did not know you get a liquid seed."

"No, Penelope. Seeds are seeds used for planting."

"Then why do you keep saying the seed is liquidated?" Portia took a deep breath in, then exhaled. Penelope was confused. It certainly was ruining her happy mood. 

"Seeds used for planting are normal used, although metaphorically speaking, his seed will allow for a child to grow in your womb."

"Mama, I am so confused."

"Sex, Penelope! You husband will expect to have sex and he will insert himself in your lady part with his manly part. Penetration will happen and he will find his pleasure and release his liquidated seed into you, which will allow for a baby to grow in your womb!" She exclaimed, Penelope's eyes widened in shock.

"Oh. Will it hurt?" She asked.

"At first, it will. After a while it will not." Portia added.

"And this act, he will enjoy it? You mentioned pleasure."

"Yes, Penelope."

"Will I enjoy it?" Penelope took her mother's silence as her answer. She will not enjoy it. She did not like that. "So Lord Debling will enjoy it, but I will not? That hardly seems fair."

"My girl, life is never fair for a woman. I speak to you based off my own experiences. Perhaps Lord Debling will be more giving than your father ever was. Perhaps you will find your own pleasure in this act. Perhaps you might enjoy it." Her mother sighed.

"So you did not enjoy it?"

"No,"

"So even though I might not enjoy it, will it still bring me children?" Penelope asked, her innocence written all over her face.

"Yes, Penelope, and that is all you need to worry about, producing an heir for your husband through this act."

"Okay mother, I understand. But please, the next time you need to explain something to me, please be more direct. The metaphors were not a good use at all." Portia laughed, as did Penelope.

"I am proud of you, my girl." Portia leaned forwards and planted a small kiss on Penelope's forehead, then left her room. There was much for her mother to prepare.

__

Eloise had not seen Penelope that morning. She had not even seen Penelope's wedding dress. She wanted to be surprised with everyone else. She had no doubt that Penelope would look absolutely beautiful, as she always was. Lord Debling made an appearance in front with the priest and he looked rather dashing. She noticed his demeanor, the way he exhaled his nerves away and the way her crossed his arms, awaiting in anticipation for his bride. Although people watched in awe as the little flower girls spread petals on the floor, she watched Penelope's soon-to-be husband. He smiled as he watched the girls walk down the aisle, but what Eloise like him even more for Penelope was the awe-struck look on his face when the veil opened, revealing Penelope. His eyes lit up like a candle in a dark room. She did not dare look at Penelope just yet as she watched as this man stared at his almost wife. Although their match was practical, Eloise was convinced it might grow into more with time. She was not convinced at first, but just the way Lord Debling looked at her friend was enough to convince her. He looked at her with admiration and delight, with love and protection. She loved that for Penelope. Lord Debling was a keeper.

After her observation, she turned to see Penelope, and she gasped at the beautiful woman walking down the aisle with her mother by her side. The simplicity of her dress made it all the more beautiful with a v-shaped neck. Penelope had blossomed into quite a beautiful woman. Penelope was always beautiful, but seeing her in a wedding dress made her extra beautiful. Eloise could not find the right words to describe just how beautiful her best friend was, and how amazing she looking in her wedding dress. She stepped out of the regular tradition of a white dress. She opted for a light pink, almost peachy dress, similar to white. 

"She looks magnificently beautiful." Eloise whispered to her mother.

"Absolutely, dear. Madame Delacroix certainly outdid herself with that dress, but Penelope is wearing is wearing it so beautifully." Violet added.

__

Penelope was nervous upon the veil opening, revealing her to the rest of the ton. Their perpetuate wallflower was about to be married, and she certainly admired the way she looked. She felt a level of confidence she had never achieved in her life.

"Are you ready? All eyes will be on you, but I have heard it helps if you look at your betrothed." Portia said.

"Then that is what I will do, mama. And yes, I am ready." Her first step out was the most difficult. Penelope was not used to having so many sets of eyes on her. She fought every urge to to turn around and  run, but then she remembered her mama's advice.

Look at him, Penelope.

She followed that advice and the moment she did, the urge to run was gone. She became more and more confident in her steps, her mother tied to her side. The look on his face was priceless, as well as indescribable. He made her feel wanted and desired. When she finally reached him, her mother took her bouquet and pulled her in for a quick hug. Penelope smiled. Before turning to Alfred, she saw Prudence and Phillipa fighting back tears, then her eyes shifted to Eloise fighting that same battle. She quickly winked at, then turned to Alfred. He took both her hands in his and gave her an assuring nod. She nodded in response.

This is really happening!!

Their hands still enclosed with each other's they turned to the priest as he spoke on until it was time for them to exchange wedding rings and vows. Penelope was glad her mother encouraged her to have a larger wedding. She quite enjoyed having this moment with Alfred and the people that she loved, and the rest of the ton who doubted her ability to find a husband. 

"-husband and wife!" those last three words erupted in mass cheer and celebration. They were married, and as a token of their marriage, Alfred leaned in and kissed his wife. It did not last as long as their carriage kiss, but she quite loved it. His forehead rested on hers as they broke off their kiss. Penelope Featherington, she was no more. Penelope Debling, in the eyes of everyone in the ton now.

__

"So, how does it feel to be a married woman?" Eloise came up to Penelope after she had greeted her guests and thanked them for coming to her Wedding Breakfast.

"In truth, I feel regular. Nothing but my name has changed, although I must admit, I was given some very thrilling information from my mama this morning. But do not worry, I will tell you all about it some time this week. I possess knowledge you might want." Penelope told her friend, who looked at the floor nervously. "El?"

"Yes?"

"What is wrong? I can sense something is wrong." Penelope said, grabbing her hand and pulling her into a more private room. 

"I am leaving tomorrow." Penelope felt her heart drop.

"Leaving, whatever do you mean?" 

"I am going to Scotland with Francesca and Lord Kilmartin. I plan to return before the next social season, or earlier, perhaps." Penelope felt like she had just gotten her friend back after their drought. She did not want to lose yet another friend to travels.

"Eloise, are you serious? I do not like this joke one bit."

"I am not joking. We leave tomorrow. I do wish you will come and see me off." Eloise said. Penelope sighed through her broken heart.

"Okay, I will be there." She replied.

"Are you upset with me?" Eloise quickly asked, and Penelope smiled through her pain.

"Absolutely not, my dear Eloise. I am happy for you. I am just sad to see my friend leave. I just got you back."

"I know, Pen. But it will not be long. You will be busy with your new husband and your other side activity. You will hardly know I am gone."

"I will know, because nobody else in the world has the ability to be my Eloise. Your presence in my life will be missed while you are gone." Eloise weakly smiled, then pulled her friend in for a hug. 

"And by the way, I saw you cry when I was up there at the alter." Penelope said as they parted from their hug.

"I do not now what you speak of. I am stone cold, Penelope. I do not possess the ability to cry." Penelope laughed at her response.

"Sure, Eloise. The church was probably dusty then?"

"Yes, and I better leave before this room's dust effects my eyes as well." Eloise said as she hurried off to find one of her siblings to annoy. 

Sometime later, the room was filled with gasps. True to her word, the Queen made an appearance, and she smiled as she made her way through the crowd.

"You really were not joking when you said you mended your relationship with the Queen?" Alfred asked.

"I really was not. We are the best of friends now." She smiled as she joked, and she took his hand in hers as she made her way to the Queen.

"Your majesty.." Both Penelope and Alfred bowed. 

"I do love a good wedding, and when you so graciously invited me to your wedding, Lady Debling, I simply could not resist." The Queen replied.

"We are delighted to have you here." Alfred said.

"And you must be the dashing Lord Debling," The Queen said, and he nodded with a smile. "It is lovely to meet you."

"Likewise, your majesty."

"Congratulations on your nuptials. I wish you both nothing but prosperity as you venture on your new journey together."

"Thank you, your majesty."

"It means a lot coming from you," Penelope added.

"I will stay for a little while longer. Now if you both will excuse me, I must find your mother. I simply adore what she has done to the place." They bowed once more as the Queen departed. Portia seemed as if she was about to pass out as the Queen approached her. 

"Your poor mother, look at her face." Alfred laughed.

"I wonder how I will explain to her I managed to get the Queen to come to our wedding."

"We can brainstorm believable options tonight," He replied. Her mind immediately going to the marital act and what her mother had told her. She wanted to ask him about it, but decided to wait until they arrived at her new home.

"She called me Lady Debling." Penelope smiled, and Alfred took her hands in his once more.

"That is who you are now, but most importantly, you are my wife. I very much prefer calling you that." Before she could respond, Portia ran up to them.

"The Queen of England is here, Penelope! She told me she loved how I decorated this place!" The excitement was evident in her face.

"Mother, breath." Eloise and Violet were the next two to join their little gathering.

"You invited the Queen and she actually came?" Violet asked.

"And it was a well-kept secret. Look at my poor mother!" Penelope laughed.

"Penelope, I wish to have the words she had just said to me framed somehow in my house! I know this is your wedding, and I am happy for you, my precious girl, but The Queen is here, and she gave me a compliment. I wish to have her words inked on my skin permanently!"

"Breath, Portia. Let us get you a drink." Portia and Violet went off together and Eloise stood by the newlywed couple. She crossed her arm and stared at Lord Debling, or rather, her husband.

"You know, I have not been given the proper chance to scare you yet."

"What do you mean, Miss Bridgerton?"

"You know, like my brother's would if one of our sisters were to get married. I am that person for Penelope."

"Okay, the floor is yours, but after I make my declaration." Alfred cleared his throat. "Penelope is a wonderful woman, one that I will not take for granted. She will be loved and provided for and taken cared of. That is my vow to her, and now to you, until my last breath."

She will be loved and provided for? He said love, I am not hallucinating, right? He said love.

That very four letter word fluttered Penelope's heart uncontrollably, and she responded by holding his hand in hers, placing her other hand over his. 

"Alright, I will take that. And also, I want you to remember that I have impeccable aim."

"Oh, Eloise!"

"What, it is the truth!" Eloise defended.

"Aim?" Alfred asked as he looked between the two of them.

"She is telling you she is quite gifted in her shots. Her brother, the Viscount, taught her how to shoot after she begged him to teach us."

"You shoot too?" Alfred looked at her amusingly. 

"Oh, God no! I did not show up for those lessons. Eloise just assumed I would like it."

"And I am so glad I forced my brother to teach me. Now if you mess up, I can put those skills to use." Eloise pointed at him.

"Miss Bridgerton-"

"You may call me Eloise. You are married to my best friend, after all." Alfred smiled at her.

"Very well, Eloise, I can assure you, you will never need to use those skills against me."

"That is good to know."

__

"Just a few days ago you did not know Lady Debling. And now, you are at her wedding. Care to explain, Your Majesty?" Lady Danbury asked.

"Let's just say the author and I are well-acquainted now." Queen Charlotte smiled. Lady Danbury's suspicious had been put the rest. Penelope is Lady Whistledown. 

"I am glad to hear that."

"You do not seem surprised?"

"I had my suspicions."

"Of course you did, you are Lady Danbury, after all."

"That, I am." 

__

Penelope was certain she would never forget the look on her mother's face as they left her childhood home. Portia cried, and so did her sisters. They blamed their tears on their pregnancy hormones, of course, but Penelope hugged them a little longer than she intended to. She would never forget how Phillipa told her how proud she was of her, and how Prudence had told her she would make an excellent Countess. Her sisters expressed emotions Penelope was not aware of, and she was glad she got to share that with her sisters.

The carriage ride to their new home was thrilling. Penelope found excitement in her shyness, and Alfred teased her mercilessly about it. 

"We have been inside a carriage together, have you forgotten?" He asked her.

"Only now we are married, Alfred. I am shy, and you are making it worse." She replied. 

"Well, forgive me then, but you have no reason to be shy. You are a force of nature, Penelope. If I recall it was you who asked to kiss me first. I do not understand why you are shy."

"Because now I know we can do so much more than kiss, Alfred. I am shy because my mama had a very enlightening conversation with me this morning." Penelope's face was drenched in redness.

"So, you have been informed of what will happen between the two of us now that we are married?"

"Yes, and I must admit, my mama was extremely vivid in her descriptions."

"You know-" he kneeled before her, Penelope's heart felt like it was about to explode. "I could always show you what is to come, only with your permission, of course." He said, placing his hands on her thighs. She took a deep breath. "And I bet your mother has told you about it is mainly for my pleasure?" She nodded in agreement. "I respect your mother, but she is wrong. This is an act between two people, so it is important that we both experience those pleasures together. It hardly seems fair to allow me my pleasure alone, now does it?" She shook her head.

"She also told me that act is how babies are made."

"And she is right." His fingers traced gentle circles on her thighs. The way he spoke and the lingering of his fingers on her thighs allowed for a warmth to grow between her legs. She wanted, no, needed more. This feelings made her feel brave and hungry. She craved for more.

"I wish for you to show me, Lord Debling." Her eyes were darkened with lust the moment those words escaped her lips.

"Your wish is my command, Lady Debling." His fingers trailed down her legs in anticipation, and as he lifted the hem of her dress, she held him up by his chin and kissed him ferociously. She was overcome with this feeling, this feeling of lust and desire. As they kissed, he managed to let the hem of her dress rest on her lap. He teased her as his fingers found her ankle and he trailed upwards. He was dangerously close to her core. He pressed his finger against her and she moaned into their kiss. Without giving a second to process her thoughts, he slowly pushed one finger into her, and her hips jerk almost all the way off the seat. He held her hips for a second, then his hands tangled in her hair as she pulled him in for yet another kiss. She did know what else to do so she was going to devote all her passion to their kiss. He slowly inserted another finger, and she was certain she had lost all her ability to speak. She was experiencing pleasure beyond her wildest dreams with just two of his fingers. His pace was quickening and her breath hitched as she realised she was washed with a feeling she could not describe. 

"Alfred, I want-" she begged against his lips, unsure what she was begging for as her stomach became knots. She groaned deeply as she moaned, her lips moving to his earlobe. 

"Release, Penelope. I can feel you need to." He said, and she was unsure how it was to occur. "Do not overthink it, let it happen." As his fingers moved methodically inside her, the little curl he did inside nearly had her lose all her sense at once and before she knew it, she had released herself. It was an odd sensation, to say the least but it also felt exhilarating at the same time. She opened her eyes, trying to level her breathing back to it's normal pace but it took her a while to come down from that exciting high. 

"Is it always like that?" She asked as he used a handkerchief to clean his fingers and between her thighs. 

"I should hope it is always is pleasurable for you, yes. Where my fingers were, that is were we will meet." Her chest was still heaving as he lowered her skirt. This was a man she must have made up in her dreams because he wanted to make sure she experienced pleasure too. She scanned his body for a minute and noticed a bulge in his pants.

"And what of your pleasure?" She asked as he laughed.

"I will see to mine once we are home, dear wife."

"Can we do that again? The one we just did with your fingers." He placed the used handkerchief in his front pocket, then kissed her once more. She held his chin. 

"We can do that and so much more for as long as you want."

Chapter Text

Alfred Debling was but a man falling in love with his wife. He did not expect it to happen so quickly, but he knew for certain he would protect her and keep her safe. She changed his perception of love, and basically what he knew of it. He grew up in an unaffectionate home with cold parents. When they passed away, he shed a tear once, and never again. His younger brother shared their parents mannerisms and their ways, and as much as he tried to sway him in a new direction, his cruel ways would peak. He still supported his brother and his wife and children financially, but he knew he did not want to be around them. 

When he met Penelope Featherington, he knew he had met his match because she had an interest in life too, one that would take up her time. It was the perfect match since his love for nature would take up plenty of his time too. Slowly but surely, he got to know her and what made her happy and what she disliked, all thought courtship. Now that she was his wife, he had the rest of his life to make her happy, simply because he loved her. What was there not to love about her? She was kind, caring and extremely beautiful to look at. He wondered why men of the ton where not going to war for her. Her beauty was impressive, as well as her brain.

She was a well-spoken woman, so Alfred was not too surprised when he learned her secret and passion. Lady Whistledown was the ton's most esteemed writer, but a writer of gossip. She knew exactly what she was doing when she started her little empire. His wife was brilliant and she had dreams of her own, dreams he would make a reality someday. 

And so, there they laid after their passionate act the next morning, arms and legs intertwined with one another. 

How is it possible to fall in love so quickly?

He wondered for a second, then remembered, she was Penelope Featherington, or rather, Lady Penelope Debling. She was impressive and remarkable. Of course he was falling in love so fast. 

"I can feel you staring at me," Her eyes were still closed as she uttered this words softly. Of course he was, she was truly breathtaking. Her head rested on his arm, and althought it was a little uncomfortable, he did not dare to move her or disturb her sleep. 

"Of course I am staring. Have you seen my wife? She is a Goddess sent from above!" She smiled and then her eyes fluttered open. How her eyes managed to trap him in a trance, he was unable to explain. Nonetheless, he was hers to trap. 

"Good morning," she said.

"Good morning," he replied, then kissed her on her lips. "I hope you slept well."

"It is the best sleep I have had in ages." 

"I am glad to hear that. Now, how would you like to spend our first morning as a married couple together?"

"Oh, Eloise is leaving for Scotland today. I told her we would go see her off. And perhaps you would like to get to know my sisters' husbands?" She asked, and he smiled.

"They are my new family too, of course I would like to get to know them."

"And I am sorry for not informing you sooner. If you do not wish to see Eloise off with me, I can go alone." 

"Nonsense, she is important to you. We will go together. Perhaps you could formally introduce me to the Bridgerton's." She smiled once more. Oh, how he loved her smile. 

"Of course, although half of them are gone already. Kate and Anthony left for India, and Colin is off to Greece. Daphne, I heard, is also home by now with her husband and children." 

"So that leaves who?" He asked. 

"Well, I shall introduce you to Lady Bridgerton, and Benedict, and Eloise, Francesca, Hyacinth and Gregory." 

"And Eloise is going to Scotland with her sister, Francesca and her husband?" Alfred asked. 

"Yes, she is. She will be back before next season." Penelope sat up in their marital bed. Her night gown was an exquisite blue, matching her eyes. 

"And by the time she comes back, I will be gone already." Alfred examined her expression. She did not seem all too pleased. "Penelope?" He asked. 

"Everyone is leaving. Eloise is going to Scotland and you will be travelling North soon enough." 

"I would ask you to accompany me, but the North passage is dark and dangerous. I do not wish for you to be bored while I am busy either." 

"I understand this, I truly do, but I will be all alone." Penelope said, and he wrapped his arms around her. 

"I will come back as soon as I can. Eloise will too." He assured her. 

"I know, but when I write to you, please respond. I will need to know if you are alive." Penelope said, resting her head against his shoulder. 

"I will." He pressed a kiss against her temple, and she smoothed her fingers against his chest. 

"Good." They stayed like that for a few minutes longer. 

"Is it supposed to ache between my legs?" Penelope asked after their prolonged silence. 

"Is it not a good ache?" He asked with a smirk. 

"I suppose it is, but truly, it hurts." Her fingers rubbed her inner thighs. 

"I am sorry. Would you like for me to kiss it better?" He asked, and she hit his chest. 

"You are a freak, Alfred."

__

Penelope enjoyed their little banters and teasing of each other so early in the morning. As she would every morning, Rae helped her dress for the day. Another helper came into their room and got her a copy of Whistledown. This issue was special since it included her nuptials. She wanted it to remain in their bedroom and probably have it framed. 

Dearest Gentle Reader 

At last, the day has come! This author has come out of hiding to congratulate two very special pairings this week. It has come to this author's attention that Miss Francesca Bridgerton and the Earl of Kilmartin, Lord John Stirling, are married! The pair exchanged their vows in a private ceremony at Bridgerton House this week. The Queen certainly knows how to pick a sparkler, because this author is certain Miss Francesca looked absolutely remarkable. A happy pairing they make, and strongs to the couple as they rush off to Scotland to live in marital bliss. 

This season has been full of surprises and magical turns of events, as yet another Featherington is married! This author is certain Lady Featherington must be thrilled to have all her daughters married off. Well done to their mama for this major success. Miss Penelope married Lord Alfred Debling in a most stylish fashion. Our dear Queen has also made an appearance and I must admit, our Queen certainly dressed up for the event, looking as radiant as ever. This author is happy for the newlyweds, and I wish them nothing but the absolute best as they journey through marriage together. 

Penelope placed the sheet on her dressing table, smiling at her latest issue.

"She has positive words to say about you, as of late." Rae informed her. 

"She is awfully kind, yes. Let us hope it remains that way." Penelope added as Rae continued to brush her hair. 

"And so?" Rae asked, looking at Penelope through the mirror. 

"And so, what?" Penelope shly smiled, knowing exactly what she wanted to know. 

"Miss, you promised to tell me about it." 

"I did, yes. I will not go into detail but I will tell you that I enjoyed it very much." Penelope said, referring to her wedding night.

"And that is all I need to know. I am glad you enjoyed it. Most women I know do not." Rae said. 

"How come? It is a very pleasurable experience. I enjoyed it almost immediately." Penelope said. 

"Some men do it just to please themselves. You got lucky, Miss. You have a husband who wishes for your pleasure as well." Penelope was grateful for that. She truly was. 

"I suppose I am lucky. Mama informed me she did not enjoy it." 

"And I heard your oldest sister does not either." Penelope's eyes widened. 

"Really?" 

"Yes, she said it flattens her hair also, so she does not enjoy that either." Rae replied. 

"That is surprising. Do you think after just one experience I could talk to her about it? I wish for her to feel as I did. It is liberating." Penelope said. 

"Most people do not talk about it. I simply overhead her talking to your mama about it. It is considered improper conversation amongst women." 

"I know, but I cannot even pull her aside?"

"I do not think it is wise, then she will ask how you came about this information."

"I suppose you are right. I will not bring it up."

"That is a wise chose, Miss."

__

Penelope felt nervous as the carriage stopped before Bridgerton House, not because of Colin, but because they will simply see her as the one who broke his heart but choosing not to marry him. He was so hurt he ran off to another continent. It was rather dreadful that Colin could not ser her get married since he was her dearest friend, but it simply was for the best. And now, here she was bringing her new husband along with her to say goodbye to her friend. She felt like she was rubbing her happiness in their face. 

"Are you quite alright?" Alfred asked after stepping out of their carriage. 

"Yes, I am fine. Just Eloise-"

"She is leaving, yes. Of course you are sad. Forgive me, it was a foolish question."

"No, it was not. Thank you for caring enough to ask." In truth, she was sad. Eloise was leaving her once more. He extended his hand for her to grab. She took his hand, assisting her out of the carriage. Arm-in-arm, they walked towards Eloise's home.

"It is rather cute, their house." Of course he could call it cute. His estate was larger and much more stylish. Penelope felt as if she was walking through Buckingham Palace as she first stepped foot in their home. 

"It is, I admire their home so much. It is so warm, too." 

"That will be the two of us someday. Our children will fill our home up with warmth." She smiled at him, and as if she could sense Penelope's arrival, Eloise ran outside to greet her. 

"Pen, you came!" Eloise gave her a hug. 

"Of course I would, silly. And look, I brought my husband!" Penelope exclaimed. 

"Indeed, you did. Lovely to see you again, Lord Debling." Eloise greeted him. 

"Alfred, please. I am married to your best friend after all. No need for formalities." 

"You know, I liked the moment I met you, Alfred." Eloise said. 

"I am glad, Eloise. Now introduce me to your family. I must know them." He walked ahead of them, eagerly. 

"Why does he wish to know my family?" 

"Because he knows your family is important to me, so now they are important to him." 

"You went and caught yourself a good fish."

"Did you just compare me to a fish?" Alfred turned, his hands on his hips as he awaited them by the door. 

"Not in a bad sense, Alfred." Eloise said as she lead them inside. "Come along, you crazy kids!" They followed Eloise into the drawing room, where Violet's face instantly lit up at the sight of Penelope arm-in-arm with Alfred. 

"Oh, Lady Debling!" Violet said, kissing her cheek, then giving her a hug. It felt strange hearing people call her by her noble title. 

"Lady Bridgerton! It is so lovely to see you. But please, Penelope is fine. There is no need to be formal, and thank you for coming to our wedding. Your presence was appreciated." Penelope said. 

"You do not need to thank me. Of course I was going to come. I have known you since you were a little girl." Violet turned to Alfred. "Lord Debling, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Violet said. 

"The pleasure is all mine." He politely replied. "But you must tell me stories of Penelope as a child." He said as Violet led them to the settee. 

"Nothing embarrassing, I hope." But before Penelope could sit, Eloise grabbed her arm. 

"I must steal your dear wife for a second. Is that okay?" Eloise asked Alfred. 

"You need not to ask me." She pulled Penelope by the arm and dragged her up the stairs to her room. 

"You are stronger than you look!" Penelope shook the numbness out of her arm as Eloise closed the door. She eagerly sat on her bed, awaiting Penelope. With a sigh, Penelope sat next to her. 

"Yes, Eloise?" 

"No not play dumb with me, Pen. Yesterday you said you had information I might like to hear. Now talk!" Penelope was not too sure she wanted to tell Eloise any longer. 

"I changed my mind. There is a reason why mamas only tell their daughters of the marital act before they get married."

"Is it because this act leads to babies?" Eloise asked. 

"In truth, yes." 

"Oh Penelope! You must inform me!" 

"I do not." 

"But you wanted to, just yesterday." Penelope remained silent. "Is it because you did the act? Is it odd for you to speak about?" Eloise gasped. "Your silence is deafening! You did it! Does this mean you are with child?" Eloise asked.

"I do not know, but I could be. I might not know until I miss my course." Penelope replied. 

"Oh, this is exciting. Now, tell me everything. I must know so I can ensure this does not happen to me." Penelope smiled. 

"You will need to fall in love and get married first, Eloise." 

"Love is not a requirement. You do not love Alfred."

"But I am falling in love with him. He is kind and brilliant. I believe I will be besotted with him very soon." Penelope replied. 

"And I am happy for you, Pen. But tell me, please?"

"Alright, I will tell you. But you have to promise you will act mature about this. I will tell it to you as my mother explained it to me." 

"I promise."

"Okay, you know how men and women have very different parts down there?" 

"Down where?" Eloise asked, and Penelope jerked her head to her downstairs area. 

"Men do not have the same parts as we do down there?" Eloise asked, her mind was already blown. 

"No, just as our breasts are different to those of a man. Everything else is the same, except those two aspects."

"My mind is blown, but continue."

"Right, so when a man puts his manly part into a woman's, he-"

"Woah! What?"

"Yes, so when a man is aroused, his part will stick up, like this." Penelope used her index finger as an example. First, she fisted her hand but her index finger pointed towards the ground. Then, it slowly lifted and pointed it out. 

"Surely you jest." Eloise laughed for a minute, amused by this very fact. Penelope awaited patiently for her laughter to die down and when Eloise noticed her expression, she stopped. "You are not making a joke?"

"I am not, Eloise. That actually happens. So, the part that is stuck out enters through our lady part, and then that stuck up part will release something into you, and that is how a baby is made. That baby will grow in your womb." 

"That sounds extremely complicated."

"I thought so at first, but it really is not. It is very simple."

"That is easy for you to say. You have done it!" Eloise exclaimed. 

"And I now can see why mamas do not tell their daughters. Not only can it lead to a baby, but feels really good." Penelope added, and Eloise closed her ears. 

"I do not care to know that."

"But you asked!"

"Yes, but now that I know the logistics, perhaps we should stop." Eloise lowered her hands from her ears. 

"Okay, but you promised to act maturely. It is completely natural." Penelope defended. 

"I suppose I did. But I do have one more question. Does it hurt when he sticks it in?" Eloise asked. 

"It really hurt at first, but then it got better."

"So it hurts when he sticks it in at first?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I am never going to do that." Eloise said. "Thank you for telling me."

"For the record, I was not the one to explain this to you when the truth is out. Your mama will have my head."

"Do not worry, nobody will know."

"That is great."

"Now tell me, should I bring something for you or something for the baby back from Scotland?"

__

"Penelope, you did not inform me Mr Bridgerton is an artist!" Alfred stood in the middle of the drawing room with Benedict. 

"I did not know that would interest you, Alfred." Penelope replied as she and Eloise made their way back into the drawing room. 

"It certainly does! Your work is impeccable! Thank you for sharing it with me." Alfred said as Benedict smiled.

"You are welcome, and thank you for your kind words."

"Penelope, Lady Bridgerton told me the funniest story." Alfred said, sitting back down. 

"Oh, I hope it does not include snails." Penelope said. 

"It certainly does! I cannot believe you and Miss Bridgerton -"

"Eloise." Eloise sternly said. 

"Right, forgive me. You and Eloise put snails on each other's faces and let them get their slime all over your skin!" Alfred started laughing. 

"Mama!"

"Lady Bridgerton!"

"It is the silliest story, indeed. I remember you both chasing Colin and Daphne around the house. They were mortified!" She laughed. 

"And your eldest daughter, she is married to Simon Bassett?" Alfred asked. 

"Yes, the Duke of Hastings."

"I have had the pleasure of meeting him. He is a lovely man. Very pleasant to have a conversation with." Alfred said. 

"Indeed, he is." Violet said. 

"And you son, the Viscount, he on his way to India?" 

"Yes, his wife is from India. There they will prepare for the birth of their child."

"It is so lovely that your children grew up so close. I did not have that honour. My brother and I are estranged." Penelope did not know that about Alfred, but she wanted to know, and she made a mental note to ask later.

"I am glad as well, and I am sorry you and your brother are no longer close. Family is everything."

"That is alright, I have Penelope now and her family she so graciously shared with me." 

"I must say, you have managed to handle my mother with ease. Lady Portia Featherington is not easily swayed." Penelope added. 

"Oh, I was afraid of her at first. But her fierceness is out of love for her daughters."

"You are right about that."

"And your son, Mr Colin Bridgerton. Does he travel often? Penelope mentioned he is off to Greece."

"He certainly loves travelling, yes. He has an affinity for warm places, it seems." Violet said. The Colin mentioned dropped Penelope's heart to an extremely low place. She hoped he did not have anymore questions about Colin or Greece. 

"Lord Kilmartin, Lord Debling, care to join me in the study while the ladies chat? We must bid Lord Kilmartin off in a fashionable sense." Alfred smiled at Penelope before trotting off with the men. Gregory followed behind closely. Penelope was glad Benedict intercepted when he did. 

"So, Pen? You are a married lady now." Francesca said. 

"As are you, Francesca. Lord Kilmartin is lovely." Penelope told her. 

"As is Lord Debling. You will make a fine Countess, indeed."

"So will you. And I am certain you are eager to visit your castle in Scotland?" Penelope asked. 

"I certainly am, and I am in a great mood. Lady Whistledown had such wonderful things to say about me, and you too, Penelope." Francesca beamed. 

"For once I agree, it certainly was a lovely little sentiment." Violet replied. "And the Queen showing up to the breakfast? I certainly did not predict that. However did you manage that?" Violet asked Penelope. 

"I have my ways, Lady Bridgerton." Penelope smiled. 

"Your way is certainly powerful." Hyacinth replied. "And she looked really beautiful. Whistledown was right, she looked as radiant as ever." The positive reviews made Penelope smile. It certainly was a step in the right direction in her career path. 

"Are you planning a getaway honeymoon with Lord Debling?" Violet asked her, and she shook her head. 

"He has plenty do do before he must leave for his tour to the North. Once he returns, we will see how it goes." Penelope shrugged. "But I also do not mind staying in Mayfair. I have plenty to look forward to here. Not to mention, things have been great with my mother and sisters as of late." 

"I have noticed. I am happy that things are going your way, Penelope." Violet grabbed her hand.

"I, however cannot wait go get out of Mayfair. I get my own wing in the castle in Scotland! Can you believe it?"

"Eloise would not stop telling me about her own wing." Penelope joked. 

"It certainly is a large castle, according to John." 

"Perhaps you could find a match for Eloise while you are there?" Violet asked Francesca and Eloise scoffed. 

"Mama, I am no going to Scotland in search of a husband!"

"At this rate I will be married before you," Hyacinth added. 

"Do you not have something else to do?" Eloise teased. 

"Do you really wish to argue with me before you leave?" Hyacinth asked. 

"I do not, so please act decent."

"So what will you and Lord Debling do for the remainder of the day?" Violet asked. 

"We will be going to see my mother and sisters after this, then I suppose we will go back home." Penelope replied. "Eloise, how I wish you could have seen the estate before you leave!" Penelope said, turning to her best friend.

"I have heard Lord Debling has one of the largest estates in Mayfair." Eloise said.

"And your are right! It is massive! I nearly got lost in my own home this morning." Penelope added. 

"That gives me yet another reason to look forward to seeing you once I return." Eloise said. 

"There are other reasons we do not know of?" Francesca asked. Penelope knew exactly what her friend meant. She wanted to see if Penelopen would be with child, or have the babe already. 

"Just Penelope, in general. I look forward to seeing her once I return. And now, I wish to get lost in her new home." 

"And how is the staff?" Violet asked. 

"They are so kind! They have welcomed me so open heatedly." Penelope said.

"That is wonderful to hear, Penelope." Violet smiled at her. "Just because you are married now, that does not mean you must stay away. We still have afternoon tea here. Lady Danbury comes when she can, and I have extended the invite to your mother as well." 

"I have missed Sunday teas, of course I will be here."

__

The time had come. It was time for their departure. Penelope knew it was going to hurt, but she was so happy for her friend. They gathered outside, saying their goodbyes one last time. 

"I will write to you everyday, so you better respond." Eloise said as they hugged once more. 

"Of course. I will make sure to tell you all about my day as well, so please, you do the same. Do not leave a single detail out." Penelope said as they broke their hug. 

"Well, here I go."

"I hope Scotland is ready for you." Penelope said. A little tear prickled in her eye. 

"They better be, because I am coming."

"I will miss you dearly."

"Oh, Pen. Do not start crying. If you start, I will too." Eloise's voice went up an octave. Her tears were flowing, so were Penelope's. "Why did you start? I cannot turn it off!"

"Forgive me, but will miss you so much!"

"Me too. I love you, Penelope."

"I love you, Eloise." She quickly wiped her tears away and got into the carriage. Francesca and John followed after. 

"There goes my babies." Violet stood next to her. 

"Yep, and there goes my best friend." 

"They we will be okay. She will be back in no time."

They watched and waved as the carriage pulled away. She was going, then the carriage disappeared and she was gone. Penelope was heartbroken, and Alfred held her hand the whole time. Now, she had him. She wondered how she might react the day he had to leave as well. 

__

"Penelope, Lord Debling!" Portia hugged her daughter as they entered the home and into the drawing room. 

"Mama, am I to breath?" Penelope joked. Her mother held onto her for dear life. 

"Forgive me, but I have missed you. Have you been gone for just a night and I could not stop thinking about you." Portia said. 

"You need not to miss me, mama. I will come see you as often as I can, and you are most welcome to come over for tea as well." Penelope said. 

"Oh, can we come too?" Philippa said, and Penelope looked at her sister's belly. It was swollen and round in figure. 

"Yes, of course." Her eyes shifted to Prudence's belly, a little smaller than Phillippa's. 

"That is excellent!" Prudence exclaimed. 

"Come, sit." Portia led them both to a seat, where Penelope sat next to Alfred. 

"So, how have you both been?" Portia asked Penelope and Alfred as she sipped her tear. 

"Very well, mama. And I have missed you too." Penelope smiled. 

"Oh, that is good to hear. Varley missed having Rae around. You should tell her to come and say hello." 

"I certainly will." They dabbled in conversation, the men were aside chatting and Penelope was glad Alfred was getting to know his brother-in-laws. Mr Finch and Mr Dankworth certainly were such a delight to be around.

"Excellent, now that mama is not here-" Phillippa leaned in closer to her sisters. They huddled up nicely, all sitting on the sofa with Penelope in the middle. "You must tell us, Penelope. Do you think you will be with child soon?" The very question made Penelope blush. 

"We must know. If we somehow have girls and you have a boy, your son will be extremely wealthy. He would inherit this estate and your husband's." Prudence added. 

"I am certain one of you will have a boy." Penelope added. 

"But it is so much more exciting knowing you are a part of the heir race as well." Philippa said. 

"I am glad to be a part of it, but it is far too soon to tell."

"So, did mama give you a detailed description as she did with us?" Prudence asked. 

"It was explicit, indeed. And it was better than I imagined it would be. Quite exhilarating, in fact." Penelope lightly smiled. 

"Albian and I quite enjoy it too."

"Am I the only one who does not?" Prudence asked, a little annoyed.

"What makes it so unpleasant for you?" Penelope curiously asked. 

"I do not like being on my back most of the time." Prudence's folded her arms. 

"Well, have you tried being on top?" Penelope turned to Phillippa as well, looking just as shocked as Prudence was. 

"That is, a possibility?" Prudence asked. Penelope did not know this either. 

"Well, yes."

"You must explain yourself then." Penelope replied. 

"Wait, so you like it laying down?" Prudence asked Penelope. 

"Yes, and the other things as well." This time, both Prudence and Phillippa looked at her in shock. 

"Other things?" Phillippa asked. 

"You husbands do not do other things for you pleasure?" Penelope asked.

"Well, no." Phillippa replied. Penelope really was lucky in that sense. 

"Alfred said it is an act between two people, so we both should share the pleasure." Penelope said. 

"I wish mama was a little more direct in her explanation!" Prudence replied. 

"She has kept us in the dark. I did not even know he had to insert himself and I was well into my marriage already." Penelope nearly spit her yes out. 

"What?"

"All she told me was that something will happen and it is natural and I should just lay still while it happened. I assumed it was the kissing she was talking about." Phillippa said. 

"So for the most part of your marriage before you became a child, you and Mr Finch just kissed?" Penelope asked. "How are you not as shocked as I am?" Penelope turned to Prudence. 

"I knew of this already. You were not included in this conversation because you were not married yet." 

"That is wild!" Penelope said, with shock. 

"We are going off track, sisters. You spoke about being on top, Phillippa and you, Penelope spoke of other pleasures. Phillippa, you first -" Prudence demanded, but before she could answer, their mother came back into the room. 

"The cook has been informed. My children will be having dinner here tonight with their husbands." Portia smiled. 

"Oh, that is excellent!" Mr Finch replied. 

"And do not worry, Lord Debling. The cook had been informed of your diet as well. She will prepare a delicious meal for you well."

"Thank you, and you must call me Alfred. We are family, after all."

__

Their carriage ride home was jolly as they spoke much about their productive day. A day with the Featheringtons and Bridgertons. Penelope was so glad she got to introduce Alfred to Violet most, especially since Violet had always been the warm motherly figure so she desperately craved as a child. 

"You seemed to have gotten along well with everyone." Penelope said. 

"I certainly did. I must admit, I was extremely nervous."

"Why? You are lovely!"

"Well, I am also introverted. I did not think I would be able to speak up as much as I did. But the conversations were easy and pleasant."

"I am glad to hear that, Alf."

"Alf?" He laughed. "Is that truly what you are going to call me?" 

"It is better than the alternatives. I had Alfie and Freddy. Alf is so much cuter, and in some sense, it matches my shortened name too. Eloise calls me Pen, it is the first three letters of my name. I will call you Alf, the first three letters of your name." She smiled. 

"Well, I simply adore it, Pen." Him calling her Pen made her heart flutter with happiness. 

"Does this mean you like it?" She bit her lip in anticipation. 

"I like it very much." 

"Can I ask you something?" Penelope asked as her face drew red. 

"Of course you can." 

"Well, I was talking to my sisters and they wanted to know if I could be with child already, but then Phillippa said the strangest thing." Penelope said. "She said she likes being on top. I am extremely inexperienced when it comes to what happens in our marital bed, but I wish to explore it all with you. Could you perhaps show me what it would be like if I were on top instead?" Penelope felt embarrassed just saying and asking that out loud, but her bravery surprised her, in more ways than one. 

"Of course, that is what we will do first."

"And, when you say first, do you mean to say there might be more ways?" Penelope asked. 

"Do we have any plans tomorrow?" Him suddenly changing the topping made Penelope feel raw with embarrassment once more. 

"No, we do not." She sighed. 

"That is excellent. That means we will have plenty of time to explore and to rest throughout the day." 

Chapter Text

Some months had passed in their marriage, and yet another Sunday had come to bless them. It was truly a great day because for the third month in a row, Penelope had missed her course. She knew what that meant, and she knew what it meant for Alf. Not only, if they were to have a son, would there be an heir, but also a child for them to love unconditionally. 

She decided to include this news in her daily letter to Eloise. Writing to her every morning had become sort of a ritual for her. She would receive a letter and send one off as each day would pass. Eloise was thriving in Scotland. She was mostly excited to learn of their ways and culture. Learning had always been something Eloise loved the most. 

That morning, Penelope had her day all planned out. First, she would inform Alfred of her missed courses, write a letter to Eloise and then make her way to Bridgerton House while he attended to his business. Her Sunday teas always went on longer than expected, but Penelope appreciated the company she sat in. Although all three women were widows, the stories they told were quite thrilling and entertaining, to say the least. They saw Penelope as a woman, a married woman, no less so they were not shy to speak about what others who consider improper.

There was something truly remarkable about knowing she was with child. Not only would she share this experice with her sisters, but with her husband as well. 

Phillippa was roughly eight months in, while Prudence was just behind her with seven. Since she was three courses short, she assumed she was three months into their pregnancy already. 

"Alf?" Penelope stood with her hands behind her back, slowly pushing the door to his study closed. 

"Yes, dear?" He asked, not looking up for a second. His face had its signature concentration look attached, which she found rather cute. 

"I wish to tell you something." She said, slowly walking towards him. He looked up from his papers and pushed it gently aside, being careful not to mix them up. 

"I am listening." He asked, his hands were tucked underneath his chin together. 

"You know how tender I have been all week?" She said, remembering how sensitive his bare hands against her breasts were, and how she flinched in pain as a response, not in pleasure as she usually did. 

"I do, I thought maybe it was something I had done."

"Well, you did do something." He stood up from his desk in an instant. She wondered what was going on in his beautiful brain because it seemed as if he were putting pieces of a puzzle together. He stepped aside, giving her a full view of him. "I have missed three courses." She silently said, and the way he smiled made her heart melt. It liquified instantly, but what made her heart burst with happiness was how he approached her, with such speed. She did not know if she had to move out of his way or let it play out. She was glad she went for the latter and before she had time to react, she was immediately lifted off the ground, her feet dangled in the air almost as if she weighed feathers. 

"Penelope, this is the greatness news I have ever received!" He spun her around, making her dizzy in the process. As he brought her back down to the floor, she held his face and captured his lips in the sweetest, most delicate of kisses. This moment was beyond perfection, and a moment she would treasure forever. 

"We should arrange for a doctor before we start telling people, I think." Penelope said as her feet firmly touched the ground. Her hands rested comfortably on his chest. 

"Then I shall arrange for one first thing tomorrow morning." He replied, pecking her lips with soft kisses once more. 

"Alf!" She exclaimed with a giggle. "I have appearances to make!" She said as he assaulted her chin and neck with kisses. 

"Let them wait," his deepened voice did things to her, and she believed he could ask her to commit a crime in that voice and she would do it with a smile on her face. She could not get enough of it, and gave into every temptation he had. So of course, she could not resist to a quick session against the table in his study. 

_

Later that morning, Penelope sat by the table in her room and wrote Eloise a letter, sharing her news. Of course she was going to mention this to Eloise first. 

Dearest Eloise.

Your last letter had me in hysterics! I cannot believe you got chased by a sheep and you nearly wet yourself in fear! Of course, I shared this news with my dear husband Alfred, and he simply could not control his laughter as well. Oh, how I wished I could have witnessed that in person. It would have certainly made my day! I do hope your dear sister is still enjoying herself and her privacy in their castle, and this Michael, Lord Kilmartin's cousin, sounds extremely cheeky. You should remind him you did travel to seek a husband. Although, you are extremely beautiful. Of course he would tell you he finds you so. 

How are things with me, you ask? Well, you might have to shop for an extra gift after all. Alfred obviously hopes to receive one, as do I, but since I have missed my course for the third consecutive month, you might have to bring one for the baby as well! Yes, there is no need to read that part again. I am with child! We have not seen a doctor just yet, but I know I am. The signs are all there. I have told Alfred and he is over the moon. We cannot be more happier to welcome this babe to the world. Of course, your discretion would be appreciated. Tell my secret to the sheep if you must, but not tell anyone else. Alfred and I will tell my family once we have seen a doctor. 

Do write back soon, you are dearly missed. 

Yours truly,

Penelope. 

(But you can also call me Lady Debling, if it pleases you. I would not object.)

She sent the letter off to be posted to Eloise with her heart full of love. Her day could not not spoiled, or so she thought. She had no idea what the rest of the day had in store for her.

__

After her tea with her mother, Ladies Danbury and Bridgerton, Penelope arrived home to find her hand in conversation with a gentleman she had not met before. 

"Penelope, here you are. I wish to introduce you to someone." He placed his hand on her back after greeting her with a kiss and lead her to the gentleman before them. He bore a striking resemblance to her husband, and he seemed not too much older than her. Still, he was handsome. 

"Penelope, this is my brother, Patrick Debling." Penelope greeted him with a respectful now. 

"Lady Debling, it is a pleasure to finally meet you. I have heard nothing but wonderful things about you." She smiled.

"Lovely to meet you too, Mr Debling. Your brother speaks highly of you as well." 

"That is good to hear but I must say, Alfred-" Patrick turned to his brother. "You undersold how beautiful your wife truly is." He said, then his eyes raked over her body. Something in the way he did it made Penelope feel uncomfortable. 

"You are too kind. To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?" Penelope asked.

"Well, I am in Mayfair on some business. I was wondering if I could stay in one of the many rooms in this estate, since I might be here for a while." Alfred quickly looked at his wife, then back at his brother. 

"I might need to have a quick word with my wife. Excuse us." Alfred led her to the nearest private room he could find, which just so happen to be a supply closest. 

"My brother, he cannot stay." He softly said. 

"He is your brother, Alf. Perhaps it is time to mend your relationship with him." 

"Absolutely not. He is a rake, and I do not want him anywhere near you, especially now since you are with child." 

"I thought you said he is married, with children."

"He is unfaithful to his wife. I have spoken to her about his rakish way. She does not wish to leave him because she has children to support. I have offered to purchase her a cottage away from him and support her financially but she refuses. He just does as he pleases without any regard for his wife." Alfred said, his temper slowly rising. 

"You are a very good man, Alfred. And we will be fine. I will not be tempted by him in any way. You are the only man for me." Penelope said.

"This is probably not the most ideal place to say this to you, but I love you, Pen. I have for a long time now." She pulled his face down for a kiss. 

"I love you too, Alfred. I have for a long time too. I was just afraid you might not feel the same way so, I kept that to myself. I know of unrequited love, so I did not say anything in fear I might lose you." 

"How can any man be daft enough not to love you back?" Then, she thought of him. Colin Bridgerton. She had not thought of him in months. 

"That is a story I shall tell you all about later. I promise." She said. She meant it when she said Colin was in the past and Alfred was her future. She no longer loved Colin Bridgerton. She loved Alfred Debling. 

"Okay, so I should probably let me brother stay, right?"

"It is the honourable thing to do." He sighed as he placed his forehead against hers. 

"Fine, he can stay. But the moment you feel uncomfortable, you let me know. I will throw him out faster than what he came in." 

"I certainly will, and for the record, this supply closet is now my favourite room in our home. It is where we said we love each other for the first time."

"You and your sentiments. It is what I love about you dearly." 

"And carriages will always make me blush because that is where we kissed for the first time." Penelope added. 

"We better leave before we overstay our visit in this closet." Alfred requested. 

"Just let me hear it one more time." She pouted her lips. "Please?" He smiled down at her.

"I love you, Penelope."

"Perfect, now we can go." They left the closet and found Patrick exactly where they had left him. He was looking around the place. 

"You are finally back!" He exclaimed after he saw them. 

"We just had something we desperately needed to discuss." Alfred said. "And your question from earlier, you are welcome to stay, brother. Make yourself at home." 

"Thank you, and Samantha says hello. She was very sad she could not come along and meet you, sister." 

"Hopefully in the future we could travel to Ireland and meet your beautiful family. Alfred mentioned you have children?" Penelope asked as they walked into the drawing room. 

"Two, yes. My daughter, Whitney is four years old and my son, Vincent is two." He replied, helping himself to a drink. "Would you like one, sister?" Patrick asked. 

"No, thank you. I do not drink." 

"That is peculiar. The women in Ireland love a good drink. Will you be having a drink, brother?" 

"No, I will not have one, thank you for offering."

"Well then I suppose that is a good thing. More for me." He turned, then raised his glass. "Sláinte!" He exclaimed, then downed his drink before making himself comfortable. 

"So, Penelope, can I call you Penelope?"

"Oh-"

"Grand, Penelope! Alfred says you enjoy reading. Anything good, as of late?" 

"Uh, yes. I read lots of literature, mainly Shakespeare. I am a lover of romantic novels as well. I just encouraged Alfred to read Pride & Prejudice. It had long been one of my favourites." 

"You read, brother?" He laughed, as if it were a bad thing. 

"Penelope encourages me to do many things, reading is one of them. So yes, I read. Although I have not started on Pride & Prejudice just yet." Alfred replied. 

"That is certainly unexpected of you, brother. You must really love your wife to take up reading and cancel your trip to the North." Penelope looked at him, shocked. 

"You cancelled your trip? But why?" 

"Because everything I need is right here. I was going to tell you later tonight."

"You cancelled a month ago, brother." Patrick replied. 

"A month ago? Alfred! You cannot cancel this! Your work is what you love!" Penelope said. 

"And I did not think this to be possible, but I love you more."

"You did not think it were possible to love your wife more than your travels?" Patrick asked. He did not know a thing about their marriage, so she wished he would just stay out of their marriage, and that he would just stop talking altogether. 

"Patrick, I would appreciate it if you did not say anything anymore." It was as if he read her mind. 

"Scared I might reveal your secret?" Now Penelope was flabbergasted. He had a secret hidden from her? What could it possibly be? In truth, she had one hidden too. She had no right to be upset. 

But I did mention I would tell him all about my unrequited love for Colin Bridgerton. That is the only secret I have not shared with him. 

"I think it is time for you to get some rest, brother. Did you not say you have business to attend to in the morning?"

"The night is still young, brother."

"Just, get lost."

"I should like to stay. What do you think, Penelope. Do you want me to stay?"

"Do not speak to my wife, Patrick." Alfred stood up and smoothed his attire. He extended his hand out, which Penelope quickly took. "And you will address her as Lady Debling, not by her name." He led her upstairs, to their bedroom. She was purplexed, to say the least. She was unsure as to what might happen next. 

"Perhaps I should explain myself-"

"You cancelled a month ago? Alf, why did you not tell me?" Penelope asked. 

"Because-" he sighed. "I do not know. We are so happy together, Pen. Me going away for three years would be miserable, not when I possess so much love for you. I simply cannot stand being away from you for a second. Three years would certainly be the death of me." Alfred confessed. She held both his hands in hers. 

"And I love you too, Alf. More than you know. But I do not want you to wake up in a few years time and somehow resent me because you could not travel North and explore."

"I will never resent you, Penelope. Look at us. We are growing. You are with child. I was serious when I said everything I need is right here, in Mayfair."

"Are you sure? I do know you love travelling and you love exploring nature. Perhaps you could explore places like Scotland or Ireland. Maybe even further that does not allow for you to be away for three years." Penelope suggested. 

"That we will do together, Penelope."

"And what of that secret your brother spoke of?"

"He is simply referring to my previous bethrothal. Her name was Mary, also an Irish woman. She is good friends with my brother's wife."

"Did you love her?" Penelope asked. 

"Yes, immensely. And part of the reason I seeked practicality was not only for my work, but because I did not think I could love another as much as I loved Mary." He confessed. 

"Okay, that is not so bad. The way your brother spoke, it was as if they were dark secrets." 

"He exaggerates. I promise you, you know everything now."

"So what happened to Mary?" 

"She did not love me as much as I loved her. It simply was a one-sided engagement. She simply wanted to be called a Countess." 

"I am sorry you experienced that. It hurts, does it not?" Penelope asked, and he nodded his head. "I know the feeling very well."

"You spoke of unrequited love in the supply closet." 

"Yes, and it was a one-sided love, up until we got engaged."

"I am confused."

"Let us sit. This will probably be a lot to digest. You will probably be upset, so it is better if we sit and talk about this." Penelope suggested, so they sat on their bed. 

"You see, I met Colin Bridgerton when I was ten years old and it seemed strange at first, but I loved him since the moment he fell of his horse."

"Colin Bridgerton? The same man who helped you find a husband?"

"Do you know of any other Colin Bridgerton in the ton?" Penelope asked.

"I do not. Please continue."

"Right, so I loved him instantly. He saw me as nothing more than his sister's friend. My love was unrequited, until the day you proposed. He came to see me that night. He told me to marry him instead, that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me." 

"He loved you back, but you still married me?" 

"I told him I was Lady Whistledown and he instantly rejected me. We were marrying for practicality, and I needed that to continue Whistledown. Love would complicate things, and as much as I loved him, I could not push my dreams aside."

"And if he accepted Whistledown, do you think you would have married him?" Penelope looked into his eyes trying to predict what the outcome to her answer might be. His chest expanded as he took deep breaths. 

"Yes," His silence was enough to drive Penelope insane. 

"Do you still love him?" He asked. The answer was as clear as day to her. She did not. 

"No, he is in the past. I have fallen so deeply in love with you, Alfred. Do you want to know the exact place I was when I realised I was no longer in love with him?" Penelope asked. "At the Mondrich Ball. We spoke about the possibilities of love growing between us, and I hung onto that conversation for dear life. You are my future, the man I love, the father of my children." 

"It certainly does hurt a little bit to know you loved another not so long ago." 

"I am so sorry for that, Alfred." 

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I hurt you, me having loved Colin Bridgerton once hurt you. I do not want to be the cause of your pain, not ever again." 

"So he was the daft man you mentioned in the supply closet?" 

"Yes."

"So if he were to come home, those feelings would not come back?" 

"It would not. I am completely and utterly in love with you. You have made me feels things about myself no person has ever done. You make me feel special and wanted and loved. You accept me, flaws and all, and that is why I feel like I am the lucky one between the two of us." Penelope said. 

"You do not have flaws, Penelope. You are perfect in every sense. Colin was a fool not to realise that sooner." Penelope smiled. Colin Bridgerton certainly was. She did not disagree with him. 

"So, now that we know everything about each other, will you forgive me?" Penelope asked. 

"You do not need to ask for my forgiveness, Penelope. You did nothing wrong. We cannot help who we fall in love with."

"You are too kind to me, Alfie." 

"Oh, dear God! Now we are going with Alfie?" He laughed. 

"The baby likes it, so we are going to call you that from now on." He placed his hand over hers on her belly. They sat in silence just holding each other. Alfred was probably the most understanding man in the world, and although he though she was perfect (she knew she was not), she still felt like she did not deserve him. He was too good and too kind. He was perfect. 

"What do you think of Eloise for a girl? If not, Eloise could be the middle name." Penelope asked. 

"I thought maybe you would want to name our children after your parents."

"There can be only one Portia in our lives. There is no room for another." Penelope laughed. 

"Eloise is perfect, middle name or first name. I do not oppose."

"And for a boy, what did you have in mind?" Penelope asked.

"I have always loved the name George."

"George Debling. That sounds exquisite."

"Not as exquisite as Eloise Debling." 

"Whatever the name or gender, this baby is going to be so loved and so spoiled." Penelope said, resting her head against his shoulder. 

Alfred Debling, the owner of her heart and the father of her unborn child. Life was being unusually kind to her. Usually she would wait for the other shoe to drop, but she was far too happy to do such a thing. 

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she should have waited for the other shoe to drop...

Chapter Text

Eloise stood outside waiting the the mail to come that morning. It always arrived at a certain time of the day, and as she eagerly awaited, she felt his presence behind her. She did not dare look to the back. Instead, she wondered why the mailman was three minutes late. She thought of possible reasons why:

1. Perhaps there is a new mailman and he got lost. 
2. Perhaps the regular mailman woke up a little later than usual. 
3. Perhaps he died on the side of the road..

Her last thought was rather cruel and she instantly regretted thinking so. Mainly because she hoped he was alive. How else would she then receive Penelope's letter?

"Waiting to hear from the infamous Penelope, are we?" Michael asked. She rolled her eyes in annoyance. 

"I do not believe that is any of your concern, sir."

"Now now, we have been trapped in this castle together for four months. Are we not friends?" He asked, and she scoffed as she turned around. 

"You have the choice to leave. And as far as friends go, we are not. And you will address my friend as Lady Debling if you wish to speak of her. She is not your friend either." Eloise replied, turning back around. 

"Do I make you shy? Is that why you hide your beautiful face from me?" Michael's insistent chatter was by far, her greatest annoyance. He was not a gentleman, and he was rather proud of that fact. She noticed how the women servants in the castle swooned around him. They quickly met his demands and he would thank them with a lingering smile. She had to admit, he was quite a looker, but she was not looking at him. Perhaps that is why he was so persistent in his advances at her. She was, apart from Francesca, the only available woman who did not want a piece of him. 

"Go away, please." She begged, but he stayed. 

"You are here so early in the morning. Something might happen, so I must stay by your side until your letter arrives." Michael said. He was standing next to her. 

"Are you a child who simply ignores instructions? Is that why you ignore my requests?" Eloise said, looking at his side profile. He was devilishly handsome, but Eloise was not falling for his antics, no matter how hard he tried. 

"You may call me a child, but I will not let you, a lady, wait out here alone." Michael replied. She noticed the mailman coming on, and her excitement grew. 

"Finally!" She exclaimed, then turned to Michael. "The mailman is here now. You can leave."

"What if you need protection against the mailman?" He asked.

"Drew is a good man, sir."

"You know the mailman by name?" Michael asked. 

"Yes, and he has three children. His wife is a baker. She makes the most delicious tarts."

"So you really know the mailman and his baker wife then?" Michael asked with a grin. She thanked the mailman as he handed her letters. Some for Francesca, some to her and some to Lord Kilmartin. 

"No, I do not know him at all. You are just extremely gullable." She playfully smiled, then hurried back into the castle. She was running, he simply walked behind her. She handed the letters that were not addressed to her to one of the helpers and hurried to her room. Once the door was shut, she took of her shoes and sat on her bed with her legs crossed. She had a total of four letters.

1. Lady Violet Bridgerton 
2. Hyacinth Bridgerton 
3. Mr Colin Bridgerton 
4. Lady Penelope Debling 

She decided to skip the first three and immediately opened Penelope's. She always admired Penelope's penmanship. She wrote so elegantly and so neat. Her writing was always legible. For a moment, she thought her eyes were not reading a sentence correctly because she saw something that stuck out like a sore thumb as she skimmed through the letter. She shook her head, then read the letter from the top. 

Classic Pen! Laughing at my misfortunes

Of course she told Alfred I got chased by sheep. 

WHAT!!???

Her eyes did not deceiving her, and just as Penelope knew she would, she wanted to read that part again but Penelope informed her she would not have to. 

"Penelope is with child!?" Eloise exclaimed, her jaw nearly swept the floor. She finished reading the letter in an instant, then immediately ran to her desk to reply. 

Dearest Penelope

Before we celebrate your news, I wish to inform you that Sir Michael Stirling is a very cheeky man, one I find slightly attractive. His means and ways are that of a rake, but I cannot deny that he is charming. But do not worry, I am not falling for his charm. He tries his best, simply because I am one of the only few people who does not swoon at his feet. He is arrogant and self-centred also. The less I speak to him the better. 

In other news, WHAT? Surely you jest! You, Penelope Featherington (Lady Penelope Debling, if it pleases you) are with child?! This is simply remarkable news! I am so happy for you and Alfred! You both will make the most impressive parents. But tell me, does Eloise not sound like the perfect name for a little girl? Surely I think so. And do not worry, Baby Debling will receive a gift from me. (Elliott for a boy even, just to honour me would sound perfect too.)

Do not worry, your secret is safe with me. Although I wish to scream with joy at the top of my lungs, I will not. I am set to arrive back home in two months. I simply cannot wait to see you in all your glory. 

Yours truly,

Eloise Bridgerton. 

Eloise sighed with joy. Her best friend was going to become a mother. The rest of the letters did not matter, although her journey had left her rather hungry. Leaving Penelope's letter and her response side by side, she got up and made her way downstairs to enjoy some breakfast with her sister and her husband. 

_

"You seem rather chipper this morning." Francesca asked Eloise from across the table. 

"She received word from her dear friend back home." She was so happy, she had not even noticed Michael sitting with Francesca and John at the table. 

"How is Penelope?" 

She is with child!!

"She is quite well. She sends love our way." Eloise replied as meek as possible. 

"You waited all that time just for her to only send love?" Michael asked. 

"And she mentioned other things I do not need to mention to you." Eloise replied. 

"Do you see how mean is she to me, dear cousin?" Michael turned to Francesca. 

"Eloise, be nice to Mr Stirling!" Francesca sternly said. 

"I am as nice as I can be, sister. It is not my fault he acts like a child."

"Eloise!"

"It is the truth!" Eloise defended. 

"Michael, just leave Eloise alone, will you?" John asked him. 

"I will, but she simply cannot leave me alone." She wanted to throw her food at him, but it would go against everything she was taught - not to waste food. Why did he feel the need to taunt her? She did not understand. Instead of replying, Eloise ate her breakfast in silence. Michael chatted to both Francesca and John as she simply listened in on the conversation. 

"Oh, Eloise? Have you read mama's letter? She wants us to attend the masquerade ball is is hosting." Francesca said. 

"Sounds like fun. Can I come?" 

"You would not like it." Eloise quickly chimed in. 

"Of course I would." 

"Yes, you can come, Michael. That is what my sister meant to say." Francesca replied as Eloise rolled her eyes. 

"Sure, please come. However will we entertain ourselves if you, the great Michael Stirling did not accompany us back home to England?" Eloise replied. 

"That is a great question, one that you will not need to ponder on. I am excellent entertainment. Just you wait and see, Miss Eloise." Michael winked at her. She rolled her eyes. This pompous man certainly thought the world of himself. He needed to be pegged down a few levels. 

"Thank you for breakfast, it was lovely. I believe I have some lessons to attend." Eloise, excusing herself. 

__

As she made her way through the day, her mind was only on Penelope. How she wished she was back in London with her friend. It did not seem like too long ago when she left, but missing Penelope certainly made it seem longer. The irony. The end of the day was approaching. She had been out and explored the town with her ladymaid, and got to talk to the people of Scotland. They were so kind and generous. 

The sky was an ombre of orange and red as she made her way back to the castle with Piper, her ladymaid in Scotland. 

"Do you really mean it? You will teach me to mount a horse?" Eloise asked.

"I did not think you would find interest in that. You said you do not care for horseback riding."

"Yes, but I am in Scotland. Perhaps I shall like it. So you will teach me?" Eloise asked, her eyes glimmered with hope. 

"I could call in for an instructor."

"But you said you have been riding since you were a child. I wish to learn from you." Eloise said. "Please?" She asked, and Piper smiled. 

"Of course, but you must share a cigarette with me tonight, one of your good ones." 

"That is acceptable. Come to room later tonight. I smoke by the window." Eloise said. 

"Of course, although I must admit. I do have a smoking partner. Can I bring him too?" Eloise sighed. She knew exactly who. 

"Absolutely not. Michael is not welcome in my room."

"Have you seen his eyes? The way they shimmer in the dark is quite magnificent to look at." Piper replied. 

"I do not care about his eyes. You can come, leave your smoking companion."

"Very well, I will come. Then you can tell me all about why you despise that man."

"I can tell you now. He is self-centred and annoying. Yes, his looks may make women flutter their eyelashes at him, but I simply am not one of those women."

"I flutter my eyelashes at him. What does that make me?" Piper asked. 

"That a woman infatuated with a man, I suppose. That was me once upon a time." Eloise said, thinking of Theo Sharpe. In a sense, she believed herself to be in love with him, with his passion and his mind. But Theo Sharpe is in the past. Now, she had a new hope. Attain knowledge and change the world. That was her hope, that was her purpose. She was not going to let anyone come in the way of it. 

__

As Eloise made her way after an eventful day to her room, she found her door slightly open. She examined the situation for a moment, wondering who possibly could have left her door open. Perhaps her room was cleaned while she was gone, or someone had gone and snooped around. Then, she remembered the letter Penelope wrote, and she hoped it was not Francesca in her room who might have possibly read it. But her sister was not like that. She would not invade Eloise's privacy.

As she pushed the door open, she was overcome with a rush of emotions, for it was not the Bridgerton she hoped it would be. 

"Colin?" He stood by her desk, a small carry on bag in one hand. Her voiced startled him, and he quickly placed the letter on the desk. 

He knows.

"Eloise!" He suddenly smiled, throwing his bag on the floor. He came to her and gave her a hug. 

"What are you doing in Scotland? What happened to Greece?" She asked. 

"I decided to pay my sisters a visit. Mother had told me you were here as well. I simply had to see you." 

"It is good to see you, brother. I have missed you." She said, her eyes darted to the letter on her desk. 

"I stayed in Greece for a little while, but I grew bored of same scenery. I have never been to Scotland, so I quickly boarded a ship here." He replied. She wondered how far he had gotten in their letters. She closed the door behind her and made her way to her table. 

"Have you spoken to Francesca?" She closed her letters and placed the in a draw. 

"I spoke to her and she suggested I surprise you in your room. She had some other things to do, but she will call for us a little later for some tea before bed." Colin replied. 

"That will be nice. So tell me, Colin. How much did you see?" Eloise asked, turning to him. His silence was answer enough he read everything. 

"I am glad she is well, and now, with child." He replied. She could sense the hurt in his voice. "I am happy for her."

"She is happy, Colin. Lord Debling is very good to her." 

"From what I have read, he does. She shares stories of your time in Scotland with him." Eloise sighed. 

"Do you wish to sit?" She asked, slowing him her bed, and he sat. She sat next to him. "What did you think would happen, Colin? You left, and she got married." 

"I am aware."

"And she told you her secret. You could not accept it."

"That, I am aware of as well."

"You could not accept her, even when she Queen did."

"I wish to confess something to you, sister." Eloise waited contently for his confession. She could not overlook the hurt in his eyes, the crack in his voice when she spoke of her. 

"What is it?"

He told Eloise about his meeting with the Queen, what was said and how Queen Charlotte responded. He also mentioned how he managed to get Francesca's wedding moved up so he did not have to see Penelope marry Lord Debling. But what made her upset the most was when he confessed he had accepted her, Whistledown and all. He was a mere fool for letting her slip through his fingers. A fool in love, a fool who made a mistake. A fool who was now suffering the consequences of his actions. 

"You are unbelievable, brother." She shook her head. She did not believe her brother could be so sensitive and daft about his heart. 

"Eloise, I do not wish to here how I have messed this up." 

"No, but that is exactly what you will hear from me! You spoke to the Queen in her favour, basically telling the most powerful woman in England she did not deserve to be punished and you basically told the Queen you love her, in so many words. And now, you sit here with your tail between your legs because she is married to another with a baby on the way. This is your fault, brother. If you had simply put your jealousy aside earlier and spoke to her, we would have been in very different positions right now. She would have been your wife, and she would have been my sister as well as my best friend. You both would have been so happy together! This is all your doing, Colin. By telling me that story did you wish I sympathize with you? Whyever did you think it would be okay for you to not speak to her?" Eloise asked, her chest heaving with anger. 

"She was betrothed to another!" 

"And she would have left him for you, because she did not love him. Penelope has always dreamed of a love match. Do you know how long she has loved you?" Eloise asked. He looked confused. "Since we were children, Colin. She did not understand what she felt the moment she saw you, but she learned it was love. She has loved for an embarrassingly long time, Colin. And now she loves another, because she realised her worth. She could not sit around and wait for you to love her back fully."

"So I suppose I should move on. Penelope has." Her anger subsided the moment she heard her brother's gentle voice. 

"Yes, brother."

"So, she is truly happy?"

"From what I can tell, yes." Eloise sighed. 

"Then I suppose there is nothing left for us to discuss. Penelope is happy, and I should move on." 

"Will that be difficult for you?" Eloise asked. 

"Extremely, yes. I had not truly seen Penelope and when I did, she was with another. I did not expect to fall in her with her as hard as I did and as quickly too. It will take me some time to get over her, but I have faith I will." Eloise took his hand in hers. 

"Penelope and I had a dream. We were to become spinsters together. Perhaps that can be our dream now." Eloise smiled. 

"That sounds quite remarkable, actually. Let us be spinsters together." 

Chapter Text

Penelope was in her fourth month of pregnancy, and it was a rather thrilling experience. Alfred was happy, and she was too. The doctor had informed them she and the baby were in good health. Her bump was little and noticable if anyone paid close attention to her. Much to their dislike, Patrick was still around, and as Penelope made her way around their home, he would try and make small conversation with her. She would participate, but she always searched for reasons to take her leave. She was beyond grateful Alfred was nothing like his brother.

"When do you think we should start telling people about the baby?" Alfred asked Penelope as she read a book. They were sitting together in his study. 

"I quite like that this is just between the two of us. My mama will be here all the time. Look at Phillippa. She has given birth and my mama has not left her side. Do you really wish to have her here hovering over us?" Penelope asked. 

"It would certainly give Phillippa a break from your mama." Alfred replied. 

"I suppose she could used it. It has merely been three days since Phillippa gave birth to little Philomena, and she has already written letters stating how mama is hovering." Penelope laughed. 

"We have some time before she does the very same to us. Prudence is next, so perhaps her attention will shift to her." Alfred replied. 

"Prudence took one look at Philomena and decided she wanted a girl as well. She was so determine to give birth to the next heir, but then she went on about how she would dress her daughter in the prettiest of dresses." Penelope added. 

"And what is it that you hope we have?" Alfred asked. 

"I am happy with either." Penelope said, placing her hand on her stomach. 

"I am glad, because I am happy with either as well."

"Do you think we should tell my mama? It is Sunday so she is expecting to see me at Bridgerton House." Penelope asked. 

"I think you should decide if that is what you wish. I do enjoy this moment we get to share alone, but they are family too. They should get to share our joy too."

"So you will tell your brother then?" 

"He does not need to know just yet." Alfred replied. 

"One of these days, he will notice."

"I pray he is gone before he notices anything." Alfred said. 

"Do you wish to accompany me for afternoon tea?" Penelope asked.

"That sounds splendid, but I cannot. I am swamped with work, my love." Alfred replied. 

"Alright, but please do not work too hard." Penelope smile as he pecked her lips. "I will not come home too late." 

"I will be eagerly awaiting your arrival, dear wife." 

__

As Penelope made her way through Bridgerton House, it was immediately filled with laughter and quick banter. She recognised the voices as Lady Bridgerton and her mama's. Lady Danbury was probably running a little late. 

"Penelope!" Violet stood up and greeted her. "So glad you came!" Violet hugged her. 

"I would not miss our teas. I treasure it too much!" Penelope replied. 

"You look well, dear daughter." Portia hugged her daughter. The three women sat around the table. 

"What did I miss?" She asked, and Violet and Portia exchanged a look. 

"We were just talking about our debut in society and how we did not care much for one another." Violet said. 

"I believe you both came out the same year?" Penelope asked.

"Yes, and our mothers were good friends as well. But we simply could not stand one another." Portia replied. 

"That is rather strange. How come?" Penelope asked, but they were interrupted by Lady Danbury. 

"Forgive me for my tardiness. I met with the Queen before arriving." Lady Danbury said. 

"It is wonderful to have you here, Lady Danbury. Come. Sit." Violet said as they greeted her.

"Lady Debling, you look radiant as ever."

"I wanted to say the very same thing. She is glowing!" Violet added. 

"Perhaps you have something you wish to tell us?" Portia asked. 

"All in good time, mama. Now tell me, why did you not like Lady Bridgerton?" Penelope asked. 

"She was much like you, Penelope. Always reading and I did not care much to have conversation with someone who had their nose in a book." Portia replied.

"You were cruel to me, Portia. Do you remember when you threw my book in the lake and mocked me for not having a husband?" Violet asked. 

"Mama, that is rather cruel!"

"My mother raised me a certain way, and I am not proud of it, dear girl. I only came to realise my mistakes later in life." Portia said. 

"I am glad you did, Portia. Or else your invitation to tea would have been non-existant." Violet laughed, as did the rest of the women at the table. 

"Your daughter, how is she? I believe she had a girl three days ago." Agatha asked. 

"Oh, Phillippa is wonderful! She is just over the moon with excitement! Her little girl is the splitting imagine of her." Portia gushed. 

"And congratulations to you as well, Portia. You are a grandmother now. Soon, you will have yet another grandchild to love and care for." Violet replied. 

"Thank you, Violet. But I must admit, the Featherington Estate is still in need of an heir. After seeing her niece, now Prudence hopes for a girl as well."

"Perhaps that fate lies with Penelope here." Agatha replied. 

"But how would that work? If Penelope were to have a boy, her son would inherit her husband's and the Featherington Estate." Violet asked. 

"Your son would be an Earl and a Baron." Portia added. 

"I do not know. Perhaps there are rules we are unaware of in case an instant like that occurs. Of course, we will only know after Prudence gives birth, and of she has a girl, and Penelope is with child and has a boy, a solicitor would come by and explain these rules." Agatha replied. 

"Prudence will have a boy, I am certain." Penelope replied. 

"How can you be so sure, dear?" Violet asked. 

"I am hopeful, rather. She will have the heir." Penelope replied. 

"Well then, as we await the arrival of Baby Dankworth, I suppose we will not have to wait even longer for your announcement, dear?" Portia asked, and Penelope smiled. Her nerves were slowly getting a hold of her throat. 

"Perhaps not so long, mama." She managed to say. 

"Does this mean-" Portia asked, and Penelope nodded her head. 

"Lord Debling and I are expecting!" Before Penelope could even fathom the words she had just spoken, her mother wrapped her arms around her in the tightest of hugs. 

"Oh, Penelope! I am so happy for you!" Portia said while they hugged as Penelope hugged her mother back. 

"Thank you, mama!" She smiled. 

"And for the record, I knew it." Portia said as they parted their hug.

"How did you know?" Penelope asked. 

"About two months ago, I noticed your eating habits had changed. You became nauseous very easily. I spoke to Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury about it, and they said they noticed a slight change in you as well." Portia said. 

"And you did not say anything to me? I only discovered a month ago!" 

"I thought you wanted to keep this between you and your husband for the time being." Portia said.

"So have you seen a doctor yet?" Violet asked. 

"I have, I am in my fourth month already." 

"You are nearly at the halfway point, Penelope." Agatha told her. 

"I suppose I am." 

"Did you write to Eloise?" 

"I wrote to her a month ago, and she suggested I name our girl Eloise and if it is a boy, Elliot." Penelope laughed.

"Of course she did." Violet laughed with her. "And since I know my daughter cannot keep a secret, I suppose Francesca and Colin already know." The mention of Colin made her lose colour in her cheeks. Her smile faded.

"How would Colin know?" She asked. 

"He has been with them in Scotland for a few days. He is probably on his way to India to pay a visit to Kate and Anthony by now."

"Eloise did not mention that in her many letters I have received. That is strange." Penelope replied. 

"Oh, that reminds me dear, Colin wrote to you, at least three times. Your mail still gets shipped to me." Portia said. 

"It is probably just to congratulate you." Violet replied, and Penelope noticed as she nervously sipped her tear. 

"Yes, perhaps." She replied, and copied Violet's sentiment. 

"Violet, we must know, when are your two oldest sons planning on taking wives?" Agatha asked. 

"Oh, Agatha. I do not wish to get involved in their affairs. I have tried and failed with Benedict and Colin. I hope they will come to their senses by themselves, and soon." Violet chuckled. 

"Perhaps Anthony should have a little talk with them." Agatha added.

"Anthony is too busy being a father to care. He writes little Edmund is a champion. He is too besotted with his wife and new son." Violet smiled.

"You did not mention Lady Kate had given birth! Congratulations to you too, Violet. You are now a grandmother of three, as I will be soon." Portia said. 

"Thank you, Portia. Yes, and I fear Anthony might be falling in love with India. He says it is charming, and Kate loves being back home." Violet said. "But he says they will be back in time for the masquerade ball. He cannot wait to introduce us to Edmund." Violet added. 

"And by then, my Penelope will be a mother as well." Portia beamed over at her. 

"I must say, your children certainly are growing into fine individuals." Agatha said, referring to Portia and Violet. 

"Do not let me start crying, Agatha. Perhaps we should change the topic. But Penelope, we are happy for you." Violet smiled at her. 

"Thank you." Penelope felt teary. Now she could blame her hormones as her sisters once did. 

"I wonder what Lady Whistledown will write regarding your pregnancy." Portia added. 

"She has been quite of late. With the social season done, perhaps she has gone to the countryside." Violet replied. 

"Perhaps, or she is simply otherwise occupied." Penelope looked at Lady Danbury with shock. 

"Perhaps, but she always takes a break this time of year. And she has been rather kind with her words. I am sure the Queen loves the positive reviews she has received from the writer." Portia said. 

"It seems the Queen and Lady Whistledown has put their fued aside. Our Queen simply is delighted to know Lady Whistledown is on her side." Penelope smiled. 

"That is good to hear." Penelope said, then took another sip of her tea. Life was good for Penelope, and now it was even sweeter knowing the Queen did not hold any remorse for at her all. 

___

Three days later

"Ma'am, you have an invitation from the Queen." Patrick, Alfred and Penelope looked at the server at the door of the drawing room in shock. 

"The Queen of England?" Patrick asked. 

"Yes," the server replied. Penelope got up in an instant and thank her for the letter, then sat back down next to Alfred. 

"I wonder what she wants." Alfred asked, looking just as interest as Penelope was as she opened the invitation. 

Dearest Lady Debling.

It has come to my attention that you have news you wish to share with me personally. I had Lady Danbury at the palace for tea yesterday and she mentioned some good news to me, news I wish to hear from you myself. 

And so, I write this to invite you to tea tomorrow afternoon at 3. 

Her Majesty,

Queen Charlotte. 

"She wishes to have tea with me." Penelope said. 

"But why?" Patrick asked. Alfred read the letter after she handed it to him. 

"I do not know." Penelope lied. Lady Danbury must have informed her she was with child. It was not a secret, after all. All who mattered knew, except Patrick, of course. 

"You should go have tea with the Queen, my love." Alfred said. 

"Indeed, I should write back and accept." Penelope replied. 

"And here I thought nothing exciting ever happened off-season." Both Alfred and Penelope looked at Patrick. 

"What do you mean?" Alfred asked. 

"Well, I spoke to some people in Mayfair and they said the off-season is rather dull, and that I should come back when Lady Whistledown starts writing again." He replied. "Apparently this writer is a main source of gossip. The Queen even offered a £5000 reward to whoever can identify her. Perhaps I will come back then." Patrick replied. 

"As you wish, Patrick. But nobody in Mayfair has been able to identify her. What makes you think you will be able to?" Alfred asked.

"Because she is bound to make a mistake, what woman is not?" Patrick laughed. 

"When did you say you are leaving again?" Penelope, rather agitated. 

"My my, Penelope! Are you perhaps this notorious writer? You wish for my presence to be gone." Patrick asked with a smirk. 

"Lady Debling, Patrick! Brother, why do you wish to taunt my wife in such a manner? I have warned you to address her appropriately! I will not tell you again." Alfred warned.

"It is okay, Alfred. Will you accompany me to our room? I wish to rest for a little while." Penelope asked, and he gently nodded his head. Together, they left Patrick by himself in the drawing room. 

_

"I should make him leave." Alfred said as soon as he closed the door to their room. 

"Just two more months, Alf. Two more. Then we will be rid of him." Penelope replied. She made her way to her side of her bed and laid down. 

"Are you alright?" He asked, coming to her side. 

"Yes, just tired. Perhaps I should take a little nap." He got on his knees beside her, and Penelope turned to face him. 

"Okay, rest. I will come check on you shortly." His hand gently stroked her hair. It made her even more sleepy. He kissed her forehead, then got up and left her in their room. 

As she closed her eyes, she thought of Eloise. She would be leaving Scotland in a month and on her way back to London. Penelope did not think her time away would be that short. Eloise intended to stay for at least a year, but her letter indicated she would be home in a month's time. The next social season was to start in at least seven months, and for the first time, Lady Bridgerton would host the first ball of the season and she already had people taking about her masquerade ball.

By then, her baby would be two months old. She wondered if she would attend the ball with a baby at home, or how she would continue to write about the social season if she had a child to look after at home. It would certainly be extremely difficult to juggle her responsibilities as a wife, a mother, a Countess and a writer. She did not linger on that long. That was a problem for future Penelope to worry about. 

__

Penelope waited for the Queen to make her presence be known and as she she did, she recalled the last time she was in Buckingham Palace. She had pleaded for the Queen's mercy as she revealed her literary persona to her. It was the scariest day of her life. She was filled with such bravery as well, and she was proud of that. How far she had come. She was amazed with her progress as a woman. 

"Your Majesty," she bowed as the the Queen entered. 

"Lady Debling, it is good to see you." Queen Charlotte replied as Penelope smiled.

"You look well, your majesty, and thank you for inviting me over for tea." Penelope replied as she mimicked the Queen's movement as sat opposite her. 

"I simply had to speak to the one and only, Lady Whistledown." The Queen smirked. "You know, I have not told you how much I admire your work. Other than teasing me, you truly are a gifted writer." Penelope was in awe of her comment. 

"Thank you, as I previously mentioned, I have always had an affinity for reading and writing. It comes naturally for me." Penelope replied. 

"And I hear you have regular tea dates with Lady Danbury, Lady Bridgerton and your mother?" She asked. 

"Yes, we gather at Bridgerton House for tea every Sunday." Penelope replied. 

"That is an esteemed group of women. You see, I am trying to get to know my loyal subjects a little better. I wish to be included in these Sunday teas." Penelope jaw dropped, then she quickly regained herself. 

"Ye-yes, of course! I will inform Lady Bridgerton to extend the invite to the palace right away!" Penelope replied.

"No, I wish for it to happen here. For most Sundays. Of course, I will not be able to attend all of the teas hosted, but I would never much like to host." Queen Charlotte said. 

"I am certain my mother and Lady Bridgerton will be thrilled." Penelope replied. 

"Excellent. Now of your news. I must say, I was surprised to hear it from Lady Danbury. I thought we were well-aquainted enough to share such news with each other." The Queen stated. 

"Do forgive me, your majesty. I did not think you would care about my news." Penelope replied, in all honesty. 

"Whyever not? You are Lady Whistledown. The ton hold you in almost the same esteem they hold me." 

"Does that not make you feel a certain way?" Penelope asked. 

"As long as they do not think more of you than they do of me, I do not care. Look at Lady Danbury. She is my greatest friend and yet, the ton holds her in high esteem as well." 

"It also helps that I am anonymous, I suppose." Penelope shrugged. 

"That helps too. Now tell me, does Lady Danbury speak the truth?"

"If she mentioned that I am with child, then yes, I am." Penelope smiled as she Queen in turn, smiled. 

"That is marvelous news, Lady Debling. I am excited for you. I take it your husband is just as excited. You could be carrying the heir to his fortune." The Queen said.

"He is simply happy we are expecting. He does not care if it is a boy or a girl." Penelope replied. 

"Lord Debling is a good man. Most men would certainly wish their wives had boys. I am certain if they had a choice of the gender, they would select a boy each and every time." The Queen stated. 

"That is true. My papa certainly wished for boys but my mama birthed three girls instead." Penelope replied. 

"I have a gift for your baby. It is not much, but I certainly hope you will like it." As she said this, one of her helpers handed her a golden coloured box. Penelope stood up and accepted the gift from her majesty. "Well go on, open it." She said with a smile. 

Penelope opened the box and found a white knitted blanket, and at the bottom in red print was knitted Baby Debling. The gift certainly made Penelope smiled, and before she knew it, a puddle had formed in her eyes. 

"Oh, do not tell me you are going to cry." 

"No, the room is dusty!" Penelope said, her voice going up an octave. 

"The room certainly is not, Lady Debling." 

"Forgive me, it is not dusty at all." Penelope said as the tears rolled down her cheek. "This is the best gift ever. Thank you, your majesty." Penelope said, wiping her tears away. Her voice back to normal. 

"You are welcome. Now tell me, how are you going to manage your career with motherhood?" Queen Charlotte asked.

"It is strange that you should ask me, because I was wondering the same thing. I did not think much into the matter and decided to let future me handle that." Penelope replied. 

"And your husband, does he know you are Whistledown?" 

"Yes. A day before we married, he saw me leave my home in a hack and he followed me to the printers. He was merely concerned for my safety being so late out, but when I told him, he was proud, actually. That is part of the reason I grew to love him very much, apart from his generous heart, of course."

"You fell in love? I thought you married for practicality, to keep you business alive." 

"That was the plan, yes. But I could not stop myself from falling in love with him, and he fell in love too. He even cancelled his trip through the North passage because be could not be away for three years." Penelope smiled.

"That is really sweet, Lady Debling. You found a love match after all. You certainly have it all." The Queen stated. "The husband, the business and now you are with child. Women should certainly look up to you. You are proof that a woman can do it all." 

"If they should look up to any woman, it should be you. You are the Queen of England. That certainly trumps any of my accomplishments." Penelope said. 

"You flatter me, Lady Debling. I am certain Miss Eloise is proud of you." 

"She is, and I am proud of her as well. She is in Scotland. She wished to see more of the world before she intends to change it." Penelope replied. 

"Change it? Whatever does she have planned?"

"I do not think she knows that just yet, but whatever she chooses to do, I will support her as she does with me." Penelope smiled. 

"Have you always been close to the Bridgertons?" 

"Since I was a child, actually. I was at their house all the time." Penelope recalled. 

"That makes a lot of sense. Now it does not seem all that strange when Mr Bridgerton came and defended you for being Lady Whistledown." Penelope placed her cup on the table in shock. 

"Benedict Bridgerton?" She asked, since she knew he knew. 

"No, the third oldest son. What was his name now again? I know it starts with a C."

"Colin?" 

"Yes! Him!" She replied.

"Colin came to see you about Whistledown?" She asked, a little shocked. 

"I thought you knew. The day you revealed your literary persona to me, he came mere moment after you had left. He said you did not deserve whatever punishment I had, and he also told me he was envious of you." 

"Envious of me? Did he perhaps mention why?"

"Something about you having found your purpose, and he had not. He came to see me as man protecting the woman he is in love with." 

"Perhaps you are mistaken, your majesty." Penelope said. 

"I am not, he was quite adamant. I also mentioned that a great love comes only ones for some people, and he should tell you he has accepted Lady Whistledown." Penelope's eyes widened with shock, once more. 

"He has accepted Lady Whistledown? He has not told me this. For the longest time I assumed he would never accept me as Lady Whistledown."

"I told him to be smart as well, clearly he chose not the be. But all else worked out in your favour. You are married to a man you love, and you have a baby on the way." Queen Charlotte said. 

"Yes, I am happy." She did not lie. This was certainly the happiest she has been in years. 

"Then you need not to worry about Colin Bridgerton. I only mentioned this because I assumed you knew." 

"I did not, but thank you for mentioning this to me." 

__

As Penelope rushed to her room, she searched for the letters she had been given by her mother from Colin. It was merely two letters, not three as mother suggested. She found them in her drawer and ripped the first one open. 

Lady Debling

It is with great fortune that I write this letter to you, for I am in Greece! The weather is splendid and the sun is perched high above my head. I do believe I will return home with a lovely tan because of this lovely weather. 

I am writing because I know by the time you will have received my letter, you will be a married woman (as I have address you as Lady Debling). Congratulations, Pen. I do hope it is okay that I still call you Pen since you my are friend, after all. I hope you find everything you are looking for. Lord Debling is a good man, and I hope he treats you well. Good luck, and I will see you at my mother's masquerade ball soon enough. Say hello to Lord Debling from me. 

Colin Bridgeton. 

Quickly, Penelope scrambled to open the second letter. It was a lot shorter than the first one, so she made herself comfortable on her bed. Alfred stepped into the room seeing the letters in her hand and the golden box on their bed. 

"You are home?" He said, then kissed her on her forehead. 

"Yes, tea with the Queen went well. She has even gifted our baby a blanket. Have a look." She placed the letter down on the bed and handed him the box. He opened it with delight. 

"This is wonderful! Look-" he took the blanket out of the box and showed it to her. "It even says Baby Debling." He said as she smiled. 

"She was actually upset I did not inform her myself. Lady Danbury mentioned it to her." 

"My wife and the Queen are friends. That is remarkable!" 

"And, she wishes to be included in our Sunday teas. My mind was blown!" Penelope said. 

"Perhaps I might enjoy teas on Sundays with the ladies, after all." He smiled. 

"I told you, you are more than welcome to accompany us." She said as he placed the box back down on their bed. She picked up the second letter and before she could read it, she was questioned by Alfred once more. 

"Letters from Eloise?" He asked. 

"These two are from Colin. They were sent to my Mama's house. She gave them them to me on Sunday but I only remembered I had them today." 

"Oh, what does he write?" Alfred asked. 

"You can read them, my love. I have finished this one." She handed him the first letter and he sat next to her and read it, giving her time to read the second. 

Dearest Lady Debling 

I am in Scotland, and I have come across some news. I wished to surprise Eloise in her room but I had a surprise of my own. She had your letter opened on her desk and I read that you are with child! That is great news, Pen. I am certain you will make a great mother to yours and Lord Debling's children. They could not have asked for a better mother, especially since you are the kindest, most purest soul. 

I am off to visit Kate and Anthony in India soon, and I just wanted to congratulate you. Send salutations to Lord Debling. 

Regards,

Colin Bridgerton. 

After what the Queen had told her, she expected the letters to be declarations of love. Instead, they were kind and mature. Perhaps the Queen was exaggerating her words, and his. That she will never know, but she did know was that she was once eager to read his letters. She was not anymore. Colin's name was no longer written on her heart, it was Alfred's. She handed the second letter to him and she observed him as he read. After a minute, he closed the letter.

"He writes kind words." He said. 

"And, he is happy for us." She said, moving closer to him. 

"Perhaps he is no longer in love with you." Alfred replied. "Maybe he has met someone in Greece." 

"Perhaps, and I really hope he does find someone. I wish for everyone to have a love as wonderful as ours."

"Even Eloise?" He laughed.

"Especially Eloise. I do believe she will fall in love someday. It will hit her by surprise, I am certain." Penelope replied. 

"Speaking of hit, I wish Patrick would be hit with a carriage or something harder, in fact." He sighed as he placed his head against Penelope's shoulders. 

"What has be done now?"

"He is conducting research on Lady Whistledown. I walked in on him with the pamphlets you have written in the past."

"Let him be, he will never know it is me. I am very good at keeping my identity hidden."

"Do you truly think so? How many people know? If it is is more than five, that is bad." 

"Well lets see, Genevieve, Eloise, Colin, Benedict, The Queen, Lady Danbury and you. That is seven people." 

"Almost ten."

"But the people who know will not tell a soul. I trust them. My identity will remain a secret, my love. Do not worry. As of now, I am not printing anything so he has no leads." Penelope said. 

Those were Penelope's famous last words regarding her secret literary persona. 

Chapter Text

The day had finally arrived, where two platonic soulmates would rekindle their love and talk about their solo adventures for hours! Eloise was set to arrive home. Penelope woke up excited, and she even suffered through her morning sickness with joy. She anticipated tears from her side, since she was five months into her pregnancy. She cried for the littlest things. 

The silliest one, by far, was when she cried because the flowers her husband had brought home were so beautiful! She went on crying over how wonderful he was and how she he was simply the man of her dreams. Alfred found it amusing, so he brought home flowers all the time. Her little declarations of love with tears in her eyes never seized to amaze him. 

"Penelope!" She knew exactly who had called her name. His voice irked her, and she could not help but roll her eyes in annoyance. 

"I believe it is lady Debling to you, Mr Debling." She turned, holding her stomach. Her bump was extremely visible by now. His eyes lingered in her stomach for a second. 

"I still cannot believe you are with child." 

"Well, that is what happens when two people get married. Inevitably, the wife gets pregnant." She replied. 

"Or the husband simply forgot to pull out, but hey, at least your pregnancy is not accidental." He replied. Penelope truly felt sorry for his wife, Samantha. Given the hours he stumbled in at the crack of dawn, she only assumed he was out in one of those pleasure houses. His poor children would grow up with a man who believed it was okay to be doing what he did. 

"Are you calling your children an accidental?" She asked. 

"My marriage, and my children. I did not choose who I wanted to marry. Sam got pregnant so my brother, in his honour, forced me to marry her. And now we live miserably with two children in Ireland." He shrugged, not even the slightest bit of remorse on his face. 

"You should not speak ill of your wife and children. I am sure they love you dearly." She said. 

"If I had come to London earlier, perhaps I would haven been in time for your debut. Perhaps you would be married to a different Debling," he stepped closer to her, and her uncomfort rose in her chest. He tried to reach out and touch her, but she pushed his hand away. 

"You should be ashamed of yourself! I am your brother's wife, and the Lady of this house, and as Lady, you have until the end of this day to get your things and leave!"

"This is still my brother's estate. You cannot force me out. And I will tell him you threw me out because I declined your advances towards me. Men always believe other men."

"Not my husband, he will not. And yes, this may all be my husband's estate but as I mentioned, I am the Lady here. Get out of my house!" She exclaimed, her eyes widened with rage. 

"Oh, the things I would do to you." His smirk left an unsettling feeling in Penelope's stomach. She knew she had to get away, and fast, and so as she turned on her heels, he painfully grabbed her wrist. 

"Ah!" She winched as he twisted her wrist, and her entire body turned in pain, facing him. 

"You are not as high and mighty as you seem. A whore is a whore, and I have heard your moans in the corridors. That sweet mouth-" she hit his hand away as he tried to touch her lips. His grip in her tightened. She winced in pain. "I will leave, but make no mistake, I will get my way." He let go of her hand by tossing it. She grabbed her hand and rubbed it, trying to ease the pain. 

"Ma'am?" Penelope heard Rae, and Patrick winked as he left the drawing room. She heard Rae's footstep come closer from behind her, then she grabbed Penelope's arm. 

"Ouch!" 

"Come, let me see to this!" Rae took her hand and lead her to her bedroom. Penelope sat on her bed and as Rae looked around for supplies, Penelope burst into tears. What was once a happy morning for her turned into one filled with tears and a purple bruise. 

"Ma'am?" Rae asked, and Penelope cried even louder. She felt the bed sink next to her and Rae pulled her for a hug. Penelope rested her head on Rae's shoulder as she covered her face and cried. "I heard him, and I heard it all." Rae said as Penelope wiped her tears away. 

"You did?" 

"Yes, and he should be ashamed of himself. I am glad you threw him out." She smoothed Penelope's hair. "Lord Debling will defend you, I am certain." Her sniffles were the only sounds echoed in her room until Rae stood up and saw to her bruise. 

"I will go and get Lord Debling personally. I believe he is out running some errands. While I am gone, lock the door. You do not open for anyone unless it is me, do you understand?" Penelope nodded her head, holding her bruised wrist that Rae had just wrapped. 

"I will be back." She stood up from her kneeling position. Penelope followed and locked the door behind her. 

__

Rae had always admired Miss Penelope. She was, by far, the kindest person she had ever work for. Penelope treated her with respect, not like some of the women she had worked with before, so when Miss Penelope was in trouble, she knew she had to repay her kindness back somehow. She would find Lord Debling and bring him back home for her. 

She found him at the florist, of all places. She noticed how he had been bringing her flowers as of late, especially since Miss Penelope was with child. He carried a yellow bouquet in his hand and as he turned, he looked a bit concerned to see her. He rushed over, ignoring the people around him. 

"Rae, is Penelope here?" 

"No, my Lord. There is a problem." She said. 

"Is Penelope okay? Is the baby okay?" He asked, his concern stressed on his face. 

"She is fine now, but your brother is involved." In an instant, his face was overcome with anger. 

"Did he hurt her?" He asked. 

"Yes," That single word was enough to let his anger run wild. He rushed to his carriage, and since Rae had walked she followed behind him. Despite his anger, he still stopped and allowed her entry first, then told the foreman to rush home. 

He pounced his leg as the carriage took off, and she wondered what he was thinking and how he might handle the situation. What had taken her twenty minutes of walking took them only ten minutes in the carriage. All the while, he was quiet and angry. He was glad he did not speak. Penelope should be the one to explain what had happened. As soon as the carriage stopped, they both rushed into the house, Lord Debling following behind her. 

"Ma'am, it is me. Open up." Rae said, then she turned to Lord Debling. "I told her to lock the door." 

"That is good thinking, thank you, Rae." When she heard the door unlock, she moved out of the way and out of sight. She made her way downstairs and she heard the door lock behind her. 

"What was that all about?" The housekeeper, Mrs Clara asked. 

"Lady Debling threw Mr Debling out." 

"It is by time. That man is a creep! And not to mention all the uncomfortable looks he threw your way." Mrs Clara added. 

"I certainly will not miss that." She was glad Mrs Clara had not asked anymore questions. Instead, she went on with her house chores. Rae helped out with what she could. 

__

"Penelope?" She heard Alfred ask as he closed the door behind him. 

"Where is Rae?" She asked. 

"She left, and she did not inform me of what happened, only that Patrick hurt you." And before she knew it, she was wrapped in his arms, crying once again. His hold on her was strong, yet gentle. She truly felt the safest in his arms. 

"Now tell me, what happened?" He asked, cupping her face with his large hands. He lifted her left hand, showing him Rae's work with the cloth. He placed her forearm in his hand and with his other hand, he slowly unwrapped the bandage. The bruise had turned an even darker shade of purple. He looked at her, then back at the bruise, then slowly kissed it. 

"What did he say?" He asked as he wrapped the bruise up. He lead to to sit on their bed. Penelope told him everything, from the moment he addressed her as Penelope down to the moment Rae had saved her. 

"Brother or not, I will kill him!" The way he said those words sent a chill down Penelope's spine. He was angry, but the anger in his voice was not shown by his raised voice. Instead, his voice was low. 

"You will do no such thing, Alf. Let him go back home." Penelope suggested. 

"And let him get away with this? I will do no such thing. Pen, he hurt you, and I will avenge you some way or another."

"I do not need avengeance, I just need you to be here with me, please." She said, and he held her closer. 

"Okay." That simple word gave Penelope a sense of contentment. With all that had happened, she knew he would always protect her, but she also knew Alfred would not do nothing about it. 

"I will send a carriage for Eloise later. She should be home by now. She should first get to be around her family before I send for one." Alfred told her. 

"Thank you." 

_

A while later, Alfred was in his study while his wife rested in their bed. He would send for a carriage to Bridgerton House in an hour or so. He pondered what he might do to elevate the anger that burned in his chest. If he saw Patrick, he was not too sure he knew what he would do. Perhaps strangle him to death, or beat him senseless to death. Either way, he knew he wanted his brother dead. That would leave his wife and children without a husband and a father. 

They would be better off without him anyway!

Still, although he knew he wanted Patrick six feet under, he did not possess the ability to do such a thing. But this was for his wife, he was certain he would commit a crime with ease for her. 

"Brother, here you are!" Patrick entered his study and closed the door quickly. "I must speak to you!" He said, rushing over. Alfred decided to let the situation play out before he acted. "Have you spoken to her yet?" 

"She has been asleep since I arrived home." 

"You need to annul your marriage. She is a seductress! Just some time ago she tried to lead me into your bedroom. I told her I could not, that she is my brother's wife, but she did not care! Let her go, and let her raise that child by herself. Are you even certain that child she carries is yours?" Patrick asked. 

"Patrick I am cutting you off. You will no longer be supported by me financially." Alfred sternly said.

"What?"

"I have spoken to my wife, and I showed me the nasty bruise you left on her wrist." Patrick looked shocked. 

"She has probably told you I came onto her. Perhaps her ladymaid is the one who hurt her to cover up her heinous actions!" Patrick replied.

"You have not only disrespected my wife multiple times, and now you are calling her a liar? The only reason you are living with us is because she encouraged me to let you stay, because you are family. How dare you speak such lies and tarnish my good wife's name?"

"Did you ever consider perhaps she encouraged you to let me stay is because she wanted to be close to me?"

"I told her I would kill you, but that is not who I am. You are a pathetic excuse of a man, just like our father was." 

"You will not speak ill of father!"

"And you will not speak ill of my wife!" His voice rang loud beyond the walls of the room, and Patrick looked too stunned to speak. 

"You will believe some whore you met months ago over your own brother?" That was the final straw. Alfred would beat him senseless. As soon as Alfred's fist capitalised on his face, Patrick fell on his back. Alfred leaned over him, then kneeled to continue his fatal blows. After at least three more hard knocking punches, Patrick's face had swollen up and blood had leaked from his nose. The door suddenly opened, and it was Rae. She was strong in her efforts to try and push Alfred off and after two more blows, he got up willingly. 

Alfred shook his hand as a few times to restore the feeling in his hand. With a heavy sigh, he looked at his knuckles. They were bruised. 

"My Lord?" Rae asked in a frantic state. 

"My brother will clean his own blood off the floor. Have someone pack his room. He leaves immediately, as soon as my floor is clean." Alfred demanded. 

"His bags are already packed and by the door, my Lord." Rae added. 

"Thank you," he sighed, then left the room as Patrick weased in pain. Alfred made his way upstairs to his room, where Penelope was still fast asleep. Perhaps it would be best if Eloise were to visit them the next day. 

Chapter Text

Eloise sighed with delight as she stepped out the carriage. There was nothing she missed me than the weather in London. She was glad she came home before winter would arrive so she could enjoy sunny strolls in Hyde Park with Penelope. She expected her family to be outside, eagerly awaiting her arrival and yet, not one of her siblings or her mother, or Penelope and Alfred for that matter, stood outside. With her hands in her hips, she looked at her home. 

Perhaps they are inside preparing to throw a party for me arrival!

Eloise made her up into her home, a smile on her face. Her luggage was taken up to her room as she made her way, following behind, to the drawing room. She could hear the bussles of her mother and siblings already. 

"Mama, Benedict is a cheat! He lied about the cards in his hand!" She heard Hyacinth cry. 

"It is a game, dear sister. And you are losing. Do not bring mother into this. You promised you would hand over those chocolate macaroons you have hidden somewhere." Benedict responded. 

"Not so fast, brother. You are forgetting I am also playing this game." Gregory added. 

"You do not count, Gregory." Hyacinth remarked. 

"If you are not going to play nicely, I will have to end that game of yours. Or better yet, teach you all a lesson by winning." She heard her mother.

"You play, mother?" Gregory asked. 

"Oh, do not act surprised, my boy. I play that game of cards very well." 

Eloise entered the drawing room. Her mother was busy stitching something as her siblings crowded around the table. 

No party decorations, no warm hugs. Have they forgotten?

Eloise cleared her throat, and eight pairs of eyes flew in her direction. 

"I am home!" She exclaimed, and for a second, they all stared at her. Then to her surprise, they went back to doing whatever it was they were doing before her announcement. 

"Hyacinth, you better go an collect those macaroons for the time being." Benedict said. 

"That will not be necessary, I am certain I will win."

"How can you be so certain? You cried to mama just a minute ago." Gregory asked. 

"Perhaps I should go back to Scotland. I will see you all next year." Eloise loudly. 

"Oh, Eloise! You are back!" Benedict stood up first and gave her a big hug. Hyacinth and Gregory followed. 

"This is the warm welcome I hoped for." Eloise said as Benedict hugged her. 

"It was Benedict's idea to ignore you." Hyacinth said, then she too hugged her sister. "We have missed you." Eloise smiled. 

"I have missed you too, sister."

"I may have also missed you." Gregory said, hugging her after Hyacinth. 

"You do not have to lie. I know you probably missed me the most." She said, squeezing her little brother. 

"Move aside, I wish to see if my daughter has grown." Benedict, Hyacinth and Gregory moved so their mother could get a good look at her. "Eloise, my girl!" Violet said, then hugged her tightly. 

"Hello, mama." Eloise said, her voice cracked slightly. "I have missed you, but I may have missed your hugs the most." Eloise replied. 

"You must tell us everything! How was your travels?" Hyacinth asked as they followed Eloise to the settee. 

"When we first went to Scotland, I got seasick quite a lot. But on the way back home, I was used to it. I felt like a pirate standing on the deck. It was truly a remarkable experience." Eloise replied, then looked around the room. "Where is Pen?"

"She is probably on her way, dear." Violet replied. 

"That is good, I have brought gifts for everyone, and I got her baby the cutest little gift."

"I am certain she will love it." Violet smiled, pushing a piece of hair behind her daughter's ear. "I do hope you will stay for the time being. I simply could not handle you being so far away." 

"I wish to visit Ireland next, but in the future. For now, I wish to enjoy my time with my family."

_

An hour had passed and Penelope was still not at her home. She had given Benedict, Gregory, Hyacinth and her mother their gifts already. She wanted to see the look on Penelope's face as she handed her her baby's gift. 

Soon after, a note had arrived from the Debling Manor. 

Eloise.

Penelope and I thrilled to have you back home. We, however, are unable to come see you at this time as something has happened. I am sure Penelope will tell you all about it tomorrow. She is fine, just resting now. I will send for a carriage to your house tomorrow morning at 10. Penelope is really excited to see you. I am certain she will want to spend the entire day with you. 

Once again, we apologize for not coming to see you instanstly. 

Regards,

Lord Alfred Debling. 

"What does it say?" Hyacinth asked as concern was drawn on Eloise's face. 

"Lord Debling says something has happened to Penelope. She is fine and resting now, and he will arrange for a carriage to take me to see her tomorrow." Eloise said. Violet took the note from her. 

"I hope everything is alright with the baby as well!" Violet placed her hand over her chest. 

"I must see her immediately!" Eloise stood up. 

"Perhaps you should let her rest, sister." Benedict replied. 

"I have not seen my best friend in five months and now when I come home, something has happened?" Eloise asked.

"Benedict is right, dear. She is with child. Whatever may have happened, she must rest as well. You can see her tomorrow." Violet said, and Eloise sat back down. The whole situation felt unsettling, and Eloise did not like it one bit. More than ever, she was eager to see her best friend.

___

A new day was dawn upon Mayfair, and as Eloise made her way to Debling Manor, she held the three gifts she had purchase in Scotland carefully as they were placed on the seat next to her. She wondered why Penelope could not see her the previous day, and she was determined to get answers. 

When she stepped out of the carriage, her jaw dropped. Debling Manor was beautiful, just on the outside alone. It looked classy and elegant, and Eloise felt the need to clean her shoes before being escorted inside, so she wiped her feet off the mat placed outside. Inside stood Rae and Lord Debling. His knuckles was wrapped in a bandage as Rae examined his hand. 

"The stiffness should go away soon. The doctor recommended a good ointment." Rae said. 

"Thank you, Rae. That will be all." Rae smiled as she left the room, not before waving at Eloise as she entered their house. Eloise was struck by the elegance and art pieces on the wall, and how shiny the servants had kept their manor. 

"Eloise, lovely to see you." Lord Debling smiled and bowed. 

"Alfred, good to see you too." Eloise bowed. 

"Penelope is in our room. I will take you to her." Before he could and turn and leave, she grabbed his arm. 

"What happened to your hand?" She asked, and he looked nervously around. 

"Let's just say I defended my wife's honour against my brother. I am certain Penelope will tell you." He nodded his head, and then she followed him to their bedroom. 

Defended my wife's honour??

What could have happened the previous day that would lead Alfred to defend his wife's honour against his own brother? She mentioned that she did not like Patrick in her letters, that he was a rake. Perhaps that is what happened. He must have tried something which caused Penelope great discomfort. 

She looked after the manor after her quick thinking. She could see how Penelope got lost because she was certain she could not make her way back to the entrance without any help. 

"Look who is here, my love!" Alfred said as she followed him into their room. Penelope was in front of a mirror brushing her hair, and the brush instantly dropped when she saw through the reflection that it was her. Her head spin around so fast, Eloise feared it might pop off. 

"Eloise!" Carefully, Penelope stood up. Her eyes immediately trailed to her stomach, which Penelope held. 

"My goodness, you are huge!" Eloise smiled. "Are you certain you are five months? You look at least ten." 

"A pregnancy only lasts for nine months. How would you know what ten months looks like?" Penelope asked. 

"Well, you look ten. That is all. Are you certain there are not two babies in there?" Eloise asked, then looked at Alfred. 

"Do you have twins in your family, Alfie?" Penelope asked, a little concerned. 

"I do not. Do you?"

"No. But the doctor would have mentioned something." Penelope replied. 

"Marina is your cousin. She had twins." Eloise reminded her. 

"Not a direct cousin." Penelope defended. 

"If there are two babies, we will never sleep." Alfred said, a little shocked. 

"Let us not get into that right now. Are you going to hug me or not?" Penelope asked. 

"Is it safe to hug you?"

"Yes, Eloise. You will not squeeze the baby. Singular, because there is only one baby. And pregnancy is not catching!" Penelope said, and Eloise immediately wrapped her arms around her best friend. 

"Two babies will be a blessing for certain, but are we ready for two?" They heard Alfred debate with himself as they hugged. Eloise placed her arm around Penelope's neck as they watched him. 

"I think you broke my husband." Penelope laughed.

"Oh, he will get over it." Eloise shrugged. Alfred turned around and left the ladies by themselves. 

"Two babies?" They heard as he left, and they giggled. Penelope took her hand and they sat on her bed. Penelope crossed her legs underneath her, and Eloise noticed the little wrap around her wrist. 

"So, are how you? You simply must tell me everything!" Penelope smiled. 

"You first." Eloise crossed her arms. "I received a note from Alfred yesterday. He said something had happened to you and you could not come and see me. When I arrived, and your house is beautiful by the way, Rae was telling Alfred about some ointment for his knuckles. Clearly he got into a fight and he said he did so to defend your honour. And now, I see your wrist of bandaged up." Penelope's smile faded. 

"He told you that?" Penelope asked. 

"Yes, what did his brother do to you?" Eloise asked, and with a deep sigh, Penelope started speaking. 

"He made some comments which made me extremely uncomfortable. He said I would have been married to him if he arrived in London when I came out to society. Then he tried to touch me, and when I threw him out of our home, he said he would tell Alfred I was coming onto him, like I wanted to have some sort of affair with him. Alfred did not believe him, and then he called me whore to Alfred's face."

"That is absurd! So Alfred beat his own brother?"

"Alfred said he would kill him, but I am glad he only went as far as making him bleed. Alfred made him clean his own blood off the floor before leaving." Penelope added. 

"And rightfully so. How did he hurt your wrist?"

"He grabbed it and wristed it when I rejected him. It left a dark purple bruise. Rae left an ointment on my nightstand to apply every night." Penelope said. 

"If I were here I would have challenged him to a duel." Eloise said, and Penelope smiled. 

"Of course you would, that is why I am glad you were not here." Penelope said. 

"No truly, I would hurt him, and really bad. Did you at least see his face before leaving?" Eloise asked. 

"I did not. Rae told me it was heavily swollen. Alfred really took his anger out on his brother yesterday." 

"As he should. God, I cannot believe the cheek of that man! But at least you are okay now, right?" Eloise asked. 

"I am, and now I am much better having you here. It has been five months since I last saw you." Penelope said.

"And now you are with child. You clearly kept busy while I was gone." Eloise said with a smirk. 

"Eloise! I knew I should not have told you how babies are made." Penelope laughed. 

"I heard Phillipa had a girl, you are now a party of the Aunty club."

"Philomena is truly something special. She is a month old and so very precious."

"And Prudence had her baby as well?"

"Yes, a little boy. Mama finally has her heir." Penelope smiled. "And that pressure is off me." Penelope said. 

"I take it Prudence continued the tradition of the name starting with a P?"

"How did you know?" Penelope laughed.

"Lucky guess, I suppose." Eloise shrugged. 

"Prudence named the new Lord Featherington Peter." 

"That is a wonderful name. I take it you will not be following that tradition?" Eloise asked. 

"Oh, God no! There is only so many acceptable names beginning with the letter P. Alfred and I will start our own tradition when it comes to naming our children." Penelope smiled. 

"And does this tradition allow you to name your baby after a dear friend?" Eloise asked. 

"Perhaps it does, perhaps it does not. I guess you will only know after the baby is born. Singular baby, because I know for certain there is only one in this womb."

"If you have two babies, you better name one of them Eloise. Even if it is two boys, one of them must be called Eloise, because I am certain you are carrying two babies." Eloise replied. 

"And I am certain there is only one in here." Eloise placed her hand on her friends belly and then all of a sudden, she felt a flutter. 

"Oh, is that normal?" She asked, a little surprised. 

"Apparently, babies kick from inside the belly." Eloise lowered her head to Penelope's belly. 

"Mean!" She remarked. 

"It is a good thing. I know through the kicks that this baby is alive." 

"Babies can die inside the womb?" Eloise asked, a little surprised as she raised her head back up to level with Penelope. Her hand was still comfortably on her stomach. 

"Yes, and that is very nerve wrecking to know. And a simple fall could harm the baby as well. Alfred has stated that I am not allowed to travel up or down the stairs without the help of another person. He says it is simply too dangerous now."

"Truly?"

"Yes, and I managed to convince him not to move our bedroom downstairs, where I would avoid stairs altogether." 

"He is certainly protective of you, and that is good. Knowing what could go wrong, I too would be. In fact, I will visit you from now onward. Carriages are not safe. Perhaps you should not leave your house and stay in your room until the baby arrives." Eloise did not think she would be think protective of Penelope and her unborn child. 

"I am leaving the house in two days again. We are having tea with the Queen." 

"Mama mentioned, yes! She think you are a secret magician or something." Penelope laughed. 

"Little does she know it is because I am Lady Whistledown. Did I tell you, she gifted our baby a blanket?" Eloise gasped. 

"You did not! Show it to me!" Just as Penelope was about to get off her bed, Eloise put her hand up. "Wait, I will get it. You will not move!" Eloise hopped off the bed. "Where is it?"

"I was going to take you to the nursery. I must get up anyway." Eloise helped Penelope off the bed and they walked with their arms linked out of the room. The very next room was the nursery were it was beautifully set up. Penelope followed her into the room a golden box stuck out like a sore thumb. Penelope opened it, revealing a white knitted blanket with Baby Debling in red. 

"Do you think she knitted it herself?" Eloise asked. 

"That would be crazy, right?" Penelope asked, handing the blanket to her. 

"And it smells really good!" Eloise said, taking a whiff of the blanket. 

"Okay, give me that back." Penelope took the blanket and folded it up, then placed it back into their box. 

"A gift from the Queen? Wow, your baby certainly is the chosen one. The next thing you know there is an entire suite dedicated to Baby Debling in the Palace." Eloise joked. "The blanket is just start."

"If people ask, I am going to tell them the Queen knitted the blanket herself." 

Chapter Text

The Sunday after Eloise returned home, Penelope found herself inside Buckingham Palace once more. This time, Eloise was with after she begged her mother to allow her to accompany them. So there they sat around the table having afternoon tea with the Queen. It was still extremely surreal to Penelope. 

"And then I told Lady Marcelle I simply did not feel like hosting the first ball of the season. It is too much pressure, and I should like to rest." Lady Danbury said. 

"In that case, you could throw the last ball of the season." The Queen suggested. 

"Or Portia could, to announce the new Lord Featherington." Violet suggest. 

"Or Penelope, she could have boys. One of them is bound to be the next Lord Debling." Eloise shrugged, and Penelope glanced at her with deadly eyes. 

"Boys?" Portia asked, and Penelope sighed as she placed her teacup down. 

"Eloise is certain I am carrying two babies. She think I am too large to be five months." 

"I am glad someone mentioned it. But dear, are you quite certain you are five months into your pregnancy?" Violet asked. 

"I am certain, yes. And the doctor confirmed it." Penelope defended. 

"I am just saying, Daphne did not look like that at five months." Eloise replied. 

"Daphne and I are built differently, clearly. And will you stop telling people I am carrying two children? I am certain there is only one in here." Penelope said. 

"How would you know?" Eloise asked. 

"It is just a feeling, and I also have a feeling I might have a girl." Penelope said. 

"A mother's instinct is always right, Penelope. You should trust it." Portia said. 

"And I had those feelings as well, and I was right about majority of my children." The Queen stated. 

"You see, one baby, and it is a girl." Penelope said. 

"Very well then, I suppose Baby Eloise is coming very soon."

"For the record, we have not yet decided on a baby name. Eloise is just pushing this agenda that my girl's name will be Eloise. She even pitched to Lord Debling why naming our baby after her would be a good idea. He was almost convinced." Penelope said as little laughters emerged. 

"Almost? The man gave me a standing ovation. I am tell you, that baby will have my name." Eloise replied. 

"You have no idea how much I am enjoying this little banter. I expected you all to be prim and proper, but I love that you are being your authentic selves around me." The Queen said. 

"Thank you, your majesty. We are still in shock ourselves that we are here." Portia replied. 

"You should get used to it. Lady Danbury speaks highly of you all, and I can see why." Queen Charlotte answered. 

"Lady Danbury is too kind, your majesty." Violet smiled at her. 

"So tell me young lady, how was time in Scotland?" The Queen asked Eloise. Penelope enjoyed listening to Eloise talk about her time away. Her eyes sparkled as she did, and she was glad Eloise had the time of her life. The Queen listened attentively to her little anecdotes and jokes, even laughing uncontrollably at the situation she had with the sheep. 

"And then it did not just happen to me, it happened to my brother, Colin as well. I think that sheep scared him off to India." Eloise said. 

"Your brother Colin was in Scotland as well?" Eloise looked at Penelope quickly, then gazed back at the Queen. 

What was that look?

Penelope wondered. Of course, she would asked Eloise about it later. 

"He came and surprised my sister and I. We enjoyed having him there, but only for a short while. He went to see Kate and Anthony in India after." Eloise said. 

"Colin has always been like that. Do you remember when he was chased by a dog? I think he was around ten and four when it happened. He tried to act tough around the dog, but he has always been my most sensitive child." Violet said. 

"Do you remember when Penelope and Eloise chased him around your house with snails on their face?" Portia laughed. "I remember Penelope came home that day and I was livid after she told me so. Snails on her face? I believe she still had one stuck behind her ear when she came home." Portia added. 

"Do we really have to talk about that now?" Penelope asked, rubbing her belly. 

"The three of you certainly got into the world of nonsense together." Portia replied. 

"They sound like they were a handful. However did you manage?" The Queen asked Violet. 

"They were children, your majesty. I let them run around and tire themselves out. My peace and quiet was at night when they were all played out." Violet replied. "But I suppose I should thank Penelope." Violet said, looking at her. 

"How come, Lady Bridgerton?"

"Colin and Eloise were the definition of trouble together. When you joined their little duo, they became less rowdy."

"They were worse before I came? That is bad!" Penelope laughed. 

"Truly, I like to believe you were the voice of reason. I believe I overhead you telling the two of them not to draw on Benedict's face as he slept." Violet said. "And this was only four years ago." 

"It was ink they planned to use, and they wanted to draw facial hair. I simply had to step in." 

"And that time she convinced us not to jump out of a window with a parasol umbrella." Eloise said, and Violet's eyes widened.

"My goodness! Thank goodness Penelope was there or else I would be missed the letters C and E from my children!" Violet said. 

"Penelope actually spoke us out of many dangerous situations, and she always did it so calmly. We simply had to listen." Eloise said. 

"Because you and Colin did not respond to me screaming at you. Do you remember when I scold you both for wanting to climb to the roof of your house? You did not listen when I screamed and said it was a bad idea. Then, you hurt your arm and Colin bribed you with sweets. She missed the step on her windowpane and fell arm first on the floor of her room. That is how she broke her arm." Penelope said. 

"I cannot believe you just tattled!" Eloise exclaimed. 

"Eloise, you climbed to the roof of the house with Colin?" Agatha asked. Her mother stared a hole into her head. 

"It was Colin's idea." She defended. 

"It was yours, Eloise. You bet you could climb faster than him." Penelope said. "And then you broke you arm. If you had listened to me when I had scolded and said it was a bad idea, you would not have had a broken arm all summer." Penelope added. 

"I cannot believe you told on us." Eloise folded her arms. "But in truth, we did start listening to you after that. Like when I placed pillows on the floor in our garden and wanted to jump out of a tree to land on them."

"Or that time Colin wanted jump into a river and he did not even know how to swim yet," Penelope added. 

"So basically Penelope is the reason you are both alive today?" Violet asked.

"In truth, yes. She needed us as practice. That is how I know she will be a remarkable mother."

__

As Penelope made her way through her home, she was surprised at home quiet it was. Usually there were voices all around. She appreciated the silence, but she did not like being by herself in her large home. Taking Alfred's advice to heart, she did not go to her room. Instead, she went to the library, grabbed the closest book she could find and made her way to the garden. There, she sat comfortably and started reading the book. 

She soon realised the book she grabbed was a book exploring the North Passage, which had pages bookmarked and little notes written on them. It was in Alfred's handwriting. She traced her fingers over it. The ink was dried, but she still wondered how long ago she wrote these anecdotes. 

She could not imagine giving up writing, she did not understand how Alfred could give us his passion of exploring nature. Certainly, his heart would yearn to be out exploring the wilderness again. She decided to close the book and head back to the library, where she placed the book back on its shelf and grabbed another. She was hidden in the back, so her height made it impossible for anyone to notice her. 

"You must be quick. My wife could come home at any moment now." Alfred said, closing the door behind him. With him was another man she had not seen before. 

"Forgive me, but I had to come and tell you this in person." The stranger said. 

"What is it?"

"Your brother, he never boarded that ship to Ireland. I have reason to believe he is still in London." Her heart dropped to the lowest point in her body. 

"Are you quite certain?" 

"Yes, my Lord." The gentleman replied. 

"And what do you suggest we do now? I certainly do not want him anywhere around our home. My wife is expecting. I do not want her to stress."

"I will have my men conduct a proper search for him." 

"I must write to my sister-in-law, Samantha. Have you purchase the property we spoke of?" 

"Yes, but it will take some convincing for her to leave him once more. Did you not say you have tried already?" 

"I have, but I have cut him off financially. I do not wish to have his wife and children suffer. He should be held responsible for his actions alone, not his family." Alfred replied. He had such a good heart. 

"Okay, write to her. I will get on with my task immediately." 

"Thank you, Larry." Alfred replied, then he lead this mystery Larry out of the library and she stepped out of the shadows. The fact that Patrick was still in London made her feel unsafe, but she knew Alfred would protect her. After some time, she grabbed another book and left the library. She walked around the property for a little while. She had explored every inch of their home and knew her way around, but she was still amazed after every turn she took. 

She opened her book and sat on a nearby chair. To her luck, she had picked a romance novel, one she had never read before. She immediately opened the book to the first chapter and started reading. 

_

More than an hour had passed, and Penelope was still sitting alone reading the novel. She was intrigued by the plot and the writer certainly had a way with words. That was what she aspired to be like. She took a break from reading and analysed what her own romance novel would be like. What the characters named would be and what trope they would follow. 

Perhaps a love triangle, or enemies to lovers. 

The book she read had certainly inspired her, so when she made her way to the staircase leading to their bedroom, Alfred ran up behind her. 

"Pen, no stairs alone. And when did you get home? I was waiting for you for a while." He asked, holding her hand as he helped her up the stairs. 

"I have been here for a while, dear husband. I started reading this book and got inspired. I started thinking of what my own novel would look like, so now I am going to brainstorm ideas." Penelope said.

"That is interesting. I hope you do not mind my company." Penelope stopped in the middle of the starcase and looked at her husband. 

"I do not mind the company, but I do have a slight request." She said, and he placed his available hand on his hips. 

"What can I do for you, Pen?" 

"I would like to have my own study. You know, a place where I could write." Penelope asked and he smiled.

"Is that all?" He asked with a little chuckle. 

"Does my request amuse you?" She smiled. 

"Of course not. You made it seem like this request was life changing." He replied. 

"It could change my life. Being a writer and all." Penelope responded. 

"I suppose you are right. I will ask them to prepare a room upstairs as a study for you." He said, and she leaned in a kissed him. 

"You truly are the best. Thank you." She said, then they continued their journey up. 

Chapter Text

THREE MONTHS LATER

For most of Penelope's life, she had imagined what motherhood would be like. It sounded strange, but she knew she would always be a nurturing mother who would fiercely protect her children. Her mother was always around as she suspected, hovering. If her mother was not at Debling Manor, it was Eloise. She never felt alone in her large home. 

It was a regular Monday. The sky was blue and the grass was green. Penelope was in the nursery nesting. She had discovered the term from her mother after Portia saw her reorganising her baby's clothes. Eloise had gifted Baby Debling plain white night attire. It was not the most ideal colour since babies are messy, but she loved it. She planned to have it be the first set of clothes Baby Debling wore after being cleaned up, wrapped with the blanket the Queen had gifted them. Everything was planned out to her liking. 

That Monday morning was a particular odd one. Alfred had gone out for the day and neither Eloise or her mother was present. She did expect the doctor to come by for a little checkup.

As Penelope left the nursery, she closed the door behind her. She was so excited to meet there little baby, and all in a matter of weeks. Eight months already, how time had gone by in a blink of an eye! 

Penelope wore her hair lose for most of her pregnancy. Having it tied up annoyed her, so she had Rae simply brush her curls out. She thought she looked rather beautiful, and she was glad Rae did too. Her maternity day dresses were all merely the same, just in different colours. That Monday morning she wore a pastel blue dress. She loved wearing blue mostly since Alfred said it made her eyes stand out. 

Making her way to the study, she was surprised to see a tall figure hovering over her work. He looked up for a moment, then smiled at her. She felt sick to her stomach. 

"Penelope! It has been a long time." Patrick said. She knew she had to handle the situation as delicately as possible. The door remained open, in case she had to scream for some assistance. 

"Patrick. What are you doing here? I thought you were in Ireland." Penelope asked. 

"There is nothing left me for me in Ireland. My brother made sure of that. And do you know who is to be blamed?" He asked, slowly stepping away from her desk and making his way to her. 

"Let me guess. Me?" She asked. She wished she had not replied so sarcastically. 

"You are right. You are the reason my brother cut me off. You are the reason he moved them out of Ireland. I have no clue where my family is." He said, a little agitated. 

"How do you know this? You have not been home to see them." Penelope asked. 

"Samantha wrote to me. She told me she was leaving and that my brother finally spoke some sense into her. They are somewhere here in London." Even Penelope was surprised by the news. She did not know they had moved to London. 

"And you think I know where they are?" 

"I do not care where they are. I am here on other business." He said. 

"And what is that?" She asked, a little scared. 

"I have come to speak the Lady Whistledown herself. You see, I went around to every printing place I could find, and then some boy mentioned he has met this writer already, that she was a chubby redhead with blue eyes. I immediately thought of you and I wanted to meet with the Queen for my reward since I have been cut off, but then I thought of something even better."

"Before you continue, I am not Lady Whistledown."

"Oh, but I think you are. And I think the Queen knows. Why else would she invite you to tea or come to your wedding?"

"Maybe because I invited her to my wedding?"

"And I am certain she gets invited to weddings all the time, but she chose to come to yours." Patrick replied. 

"You need to leave-"

"Does my brother know?" Before she could answer, he interrupted her once more. "Or course he does not. So this is what is going to happen. You will pay me double the Queen's reward and I will keep my mouth shut." Patrick said, getting dangerously close to her face. 

"And what if I told you I am not Lady Whistledown?"

"You clearly like writing. I have seen the scribbles on your desk. You plan to publish a novel, am I right?" He asked. His fingered trailed up her arm. "So what will it be? Double, or I tell my brother and you will be thrown out on the street." Penelope scoffed at this man and his blatant arrogance. She was not about to give him her money. He did not deserve a cent of it. 

"You-" she harshly pushed his hand away, "are pathetic. Leave my house, and never come back." She made a quick exit out her study and he followed behind her. She had to ensure she was around people, mainly the helpers around the house so she picked up the pace.

"Penelope, we are not done!" The anger in his voice raised and at the top of the staircase, she turned to face him. 

"You have no leg to stand on. Alfred know I am Whistledown. The Queen knows I am Whistledown. I must admit, going to different printers was a smart move, but you will not get your way today. Nobody will believe you, even if you screamed at the top of your lungs in the middle of Mayfair. And if people just so happen to believe you, I have the support of my husband and the bloody Queen of England. She invites me over for tea, Patrick. Your plan was good, trying to come her and blackmail me into giving you money, but I will always be ten steps ahead of low lifes like you!" She exclaimed, taking a deep breath. Perhaps it was not a good idea to stand that close to the staircase in case he wished to push her. 

His eyes were dark, a vein had appeared on his forehead. He was blinded by rage. Penelope tried to slowly move out of the way but he was quick and strong. He grabbed a hold of her shoulders and before she knew it, she was tumbling down the stairs. Her head head the stairs a few times on the way down, and as much as she tried to cradle her stomach, the impact of her fall was far too great. She landed at the bottom of the staircase and instantly, she felt a pool of wetness between her legs. With her head on the ground and her dress covered in this mysterious liquid, she felt as darkness started to enclose around her. Her eyes felt heavy, like she had to close them or they would close themselves. The last thing she saw before passing out was Patrick running pass her and out of their house. 

___

As Eloise made her way up the steps to enter Debling Manor, she was startled as to how abruptly the door had opened. Out ran a man with a frantic look of fear on his face. The image did not bode well with Eloise. She did not get a good view of the man, but he had a thick lock of blonde hair. 

"Hey, watch yourself!" She exclaimed as she knocked her out of the way. She almost went flying, but managed to restore her balance. The mysterious man ran off, and Eloise held her shoulders as he did. 

"Prick." She shook her head as she watched him run off. She wondered who he was, but thought not much of it since she was eager to see her dearest friend. With a smile, she entered the house, and the colour drained from her body. The sight she saw before her was disturbing and horrid. She instantly dropped her book on the floor and ran over to Penelope. She was laying in a pool of her own blood, unconscious. In a panic, she lifted Penelope's head and placed it on her knees. 

"I NEED HELP!" Eloise screamed at the top of her lungs. "DEAR GOD, HELP!" She screamed once more and then Rae came running into the hallway. She gasped loudly, then came to Eloise's side. 

"What happened?" Rae asked, unable to control her emotions. She seemed as if she were going to cry at any minute. 

"I arrived and found her like this. Some man was leaving in a hurry as I arrived." Eloise said. 

"We need to call for the doctor immediately!" She stood up, wiping her teary cheek. "I will be back." 

Eloise felt angry. For such a large estate, she wondered why there were not as many people guarding the hallway. She would scold Alfred regarding the matter. Eloise looked at her friend. Blood had gathered on her own dress and as she turned Penelope's head, she noticed yet another source in which she was losing blood. The side of her head was cut. She placed her hand on Penelope's chest feeling for a heartbeat. She had found a faint one, but she knew, according to her own pace, it was not a good thing. She clasped Penelope's hand in hers and started crying, for she did not know what else to do. She felt Penelope's head jerk, then her beautiful blue eyes showed itself. 

"Pen!" Eloise exclaimed. 

"El-" 

"Do not speak, preserve your energy. Rae is coming with help soon." She weakly held her stomach and winced in pain. 

"Ahhhh, dear God!" Penelope exclaimed.

"Help is coming. Help is coming." Eloise replied, stroking her hair. 

"Eloise," she breathed out. "I think -" she winced once more. "baby is coming." She said, then Rae arrived with the housekeeper, Mrs Clara. 

"She thinks the baby is coming." Eloise told them. Some more helpers followed them. 

"Okay, get me warm wet towels and a bucket of water! I need it now!" Mrs Clara exclaimed, and Rae sat next to Eloise. Mrs Clara positioned herself by Penelope's feet and gently straightened them, then lifted her knees up in triangle shaped. She looked under Penelope's dress and gasped. 

"It's head is peaking out. We need to get this baby out." Mrs Clara looked over Penelope's lifted dress. 

"Lady Debling, I know you are weak right now but you need to push." Penelope cried out in extreme agony, making Eloise hold her hand even tighter. The help came with what Mrs Clara requested, and they hovered around, awaiting their next instruction.

"We will need something to cut the cord as well. Make sure it is sterile." 

"Yes, ma'am." One of the many helpers ran off and got what was needed.

"It hurts!" Penelope cried. 

"You need to push, Lady Debling!" Mrs Clara insisted once more. Eloise noticed as she tried sitting up, using her elbows and as a support, she moved closer so Penelope could lean on her. 

"1, 2, 3, push!" Penelope cried out in pain, Eloise held her hand the entire time. Rae held onto her other hand. The pain Eloise felt in her hand as Penelope squeezed her was probably nothing in comparison to what Penelope was going through. 

"Is it done?" Penelope asked, out of breath. Her chest heaved as she took deep breaths. 

"No, not even close. The baby had not moved. I need you to try harder, ma'am!" Mrs Clara exclaimed. "Push!" Penelope's screams attracted more and more staff around the house. 

Where the bloody hell were all these people when Penelope needed them?

Eloise was interrupted by a shriek at the door. As Penelope scream at the top of her lung, she turned and saw Lady Featherington looking absolutely just as distraught as she was. Eloise watched her rush over and get on the floor with Rae and her. 

"Penelope!" She mother cried. 

"Mama," tear started swelling in both their eyes. Eloise let go of Penelope's hand as Portia reach down. 

"You need to push, my girl. You can do it." Portia said, then she turned to one of the helpers. "Get me a clean towel, please." She was quickly handed one, and Portia cleaned Penelope's face. The sweat beads had vanished and some of the blood was cleaned up. 

"Push!" Mrs Clara exclaimed. Eloise watched as Penelope took a deep breath, then pushed. Her cries of pain echoed in the halls of the manor. Eloise looked at Lady Featherington. She was trying very hard not to let any more tears fall. 

"Done?" Penelope asked out of breath. 

"No, ma'am. We are nearly there." Mrs Clara replied. 

"I cannot do this, no-" Penelope cried. Eloise pushed forward as she leaned her head back. She held Penelope's face from behind. 

"Yes, you can." Eloise found herself saying. "You must, Penelope. So please, push."

"I cannot." She shook her head vigorously. 

"Penelope, my girl. I do not know what has happened here today, but you must push. Your baby needs you to push. All the pain you feel will be gone as soon as you hold your baby." Portia said, and she nodded her head. 

"Okay," the large breath she took lead Eloise to believe she was preparing to push once more. Her screams grew louder each and everytime, but this last push was it. Eloise watched as relief washed over Penelope's face. 

"Is it done?" Penelope asked, out of breath. Mrs Clara held the baby above so Penelope could see, and she smiled with relief. Portia was handed a sharp object and she cut a peculiar cord that connected the baby and Penelope. Penelope's eyes fluttered close. "I need to rest." Portia stood up along with Mrs Clara and they took the baby, the towels and bucket of what with them.

She remembered the day Hyacinth was born. Her cries filled the room instantly. Penelope's baby did not cry. Eloise watched as they rubbed the baby's chest and patted it's back and bottom harshly a few times. There was still no response. They attempted for a few more minutes until they did not. Mrs Clara cleaned the baby up using a towel and the water, then wrapped another clean towel around the baby, and handed it to Lady Featherington. Eloise watched her wipe tears away. Mrs Clara explained silently what the outcome was, but in Eloise's heart, she already knew. The helpers all left, Rae included. 

"Penelope?" Portia asked. Eloise shook her gently and Penelope's eyes opened. 

"Is it a girl?" Penelope asked, and Portia nodded her head. She exploded with tears immediately after. "Oh, mama! Do not cry." Penelope said. "I am fine, and so is my daughter." Eloise found herself in tears once more. Portia returned to her position on the floor, her knees tucked underneath her bottom. Eloise shifted closer to be more of a support for her. 

"Can I hold her?" Penelope weakly asked. 

"Penelope, my dear, I am so sorry." Portia cried as she handed Penelope her daughter. Confused, Penelope held her daughter to her chest. Eloise would never forget the instant joy she saw in her best friend's eyes, and she would never forget that very same joy fade at the sight of her daughter. 

"She does not cry, or move." Penelope said, looking up at her mother. Eloise watched as Penelope reached for her daughter's hand. She placed her index finger in her little fingers. There was still no response. 

"Mama?" Penelope looked up at her mother frantically. Eloise held Penelope's waist. Her mother moved in and kissed her forehead. Eloise and Portia held her as she cried once more. Eloise's chin rested on Penelope's forehead as she took let out some tears.

Eloise would never forget the way her best friend cried the day she lost her daughter. 

Chapter Text

Portia Featherington grew up in the coldest of homes in all of London. Her father was a Viscount and her mother, a Viscountess. Of course, they expected a certain type of man she would marry someday. He had to have a title up to their standings, one that would not embarrass the Miller lineage. So, when she fell in love with a commoner outside society, her mother sent her off to Scotland to ‘toughen up’. If you had asked her what had made her so cruel as she entered society, her answer would be the same – her mother’s condescending words. She was a failure, a disgrace. If they had it their way, they would disown her, but people would ask questions since she was the only child of Richard and Primrose Miller. She certainly toughened up, started adapting her mother’s cruel ways and soon enough, she became her mother. Portia Featherington become the pride and joy of her mother, Primrose Miller’s eyes. All she ever wanted was her mother’s approval and she got it by being exactly like her mother.

Her mean streak came naturally to her, and when she had daughters of her own, Prudence and Phillippa were much like her, but her Penelope was not. In fact, she was the splitting image of a younger Portia. She tried to bond with her youngest as much as she could, but Penelope did not much very like her mother, and that lead Portia to believe she had to go about the same route, she had to ensure Penelope would go out into the world ‘toughened up’. Portia criticized her daughter profusely, even laughed as her two older daughters made jokes about Penelope’s weight. She had to ‘toughen up’ or the world was going to chew her up.

Portia loved her daughters dearly, but the day Penelope found a husband by being her true self changed the trajectory of her life. Penelope did not need to be mean to find a husband. She did not need to cheat and deceive her way into society. She was herself – just the Penelope she raised who was kind, caring and passionate about reading. This alone softened Portia to her core. If she had not been so desperate for her mother’s approval, perhaps her life would have been a little different. Perhaps she would have married for love, and not security or a title, as her parents demanded. Perhaps she would have a great love after all. she pondered not too much on that for if she had not adapted her mother’s ways, she would have not met the Baron Featherington and she would not have had Prudence, Phillippa and Penelope – they were the best gifts she had ever been gifted.

It is never too late to change, mama. We need to do better.

Her youngest daughter was wise beyond words, and years of constant bullying and abysmal behavior towards her was forgiven. Penelope was her dear, sweet girl. She would not take a second with her for granted ever again.

Seeing her daughter laying on the floor surrounded by staff and in a pool of her own blood scared Portia. Her relationship with her daughter was the best it had ever been. She was not about to lose that just yet. She supported her daughter as she gave birth as best as she could, but the feeling of needing to burst out in tears overpowered her every time.

“She is not breathing at all.” Mrs Clara said to a distraught Portia.

“We need to try again. This will devastate my daughter.” Portia replied as she watched Mrs Clara seek a reaction out of the baby. They tried for much longer than they needed to, but Portia held out for hope, that at the very last minute, her granddaughter would start screaming a beautiful cry. That cry never came. She never got to see her beautiful granddaughter’s eyes or hold her as she cried. And so, with a heavy heart, Mrs Clara handed the deceased angel to her. She cleared out the room and made her way to Penelope and Eloise. Portia watched as Eloise gently shook her. She believed she was being handed a healthy baby girl, but when she realised it was not, her screams fill the room. She went through all that just to hold a deceased girl in her arms. Life was certainly being unfair to her dear Penelope. She was the last person on the planet who deserved it. She could not bare to see her daughter in such agony, such excruciating pain. After violently wiping her open tears away, she moved away from Penelope and looked at Eloise.

“Eloise, will you stay with her? I must speak to Rae.” Portia asked, and Eloise nodded her head quickly. The girl was just as distraught as everyone else. She could only imagine what was going through Eloise Bridgerton’s mind, having witnessed her best friend go through such an ordeal. Portia stood up and quickly made her way around the manor, searching for Rae.

“Rae?” she called out, and after a minute of searching, Rae appeared before her. Her dress was covered in blood, much like Eloise and hers was.

“Yes, my lady?” Rae asked with a little sniffle. She had been crying as well.

“We need to draw a bath for Penelope, and you will tell me of what you know. I need to know how this came to happen.” Portia said.

“Yes, my Lady, although, I am just as confused as you are. Miss Bridgerton found her and called for help.”

“We will get into that later, first we need to get Penelope cleaned up.” Rae made her way towards Penelope’s room, and Portia stopped beside the two friends.

“Are you able to walk up the stairs?” Portia asked Penelope, who wiped her tears away.

“I think so.” Penelope said. She moved a bit, but the pain seemed too unbearable. Penelope jerked at the pain that appeared to have shot to her legs.

“Give her to me,” Portia said, referring to the baby in her arms. Penelope carefully lifted her baby and handed her to Portia. A few helpers came and assisted Penelope as she stood up.

“We will go one step at a time.” Portia heard Eloise, who in return, Penelope nodded her head.

It took them a long time with some rests in between steps to get Penelope all the way to the top. Thankfully, her bath was already ready by the time they arrived in her room. Portia dismissed Rae, and Eloise stayed in the master bedroom with the baby laid in the middle.

___

She is so little

Eloise wondered as she stared at the babe on the bed. Her dress, which just so happened to be one of her favorites, was covered in Penelope’s blood. She did not want to ruin the bed covers, so she pulled up a chair and sat down, staring at the babe in awe. Not long after, sadness had washed over her. She though of what they could have been. Eloise was not always the greatest lover of children, her own niece and nephews did not know her well, but she knew it would have been different with Penelope and Alfred’s baby. Eloise would have taught her to read, and read her bedtime stories. In fact, she believed that she would have grown to love the baby immensely, and even spoil the baby rotten. Knowing that was a girl destroyed Eloise. She would have instilled her ways and mannerisms, and even someday teach the girl to be independent and have free will. She dreamed of what could have been, and that is what saddened her the most.

A long time had gone by, and Portia and Penelope were still getting Penelope cleaned up. She imagined that Penelope would be silent, too hurt to even speak. Her mother would encourage her to speak but she would not, all while Eloise stared at the baby girl.

Eloise began to examine her facial features – her skin was pale, much as her parent’s complexion with a little button nose. All while looking at her, Eloise could see Penelope’s prominent features. She wanted to pry her eyes open to see if she had blue eyes as both her parents did, but she felt like it be inappropriate. Of course she had to have blue eyes.

Some more time had gone by, and Portia and Penelope came to the room. Eloise immediately stood up as Penelope’s eyes stayed fix on her daughter. This time, she did not cry. She simply stared at the baby. Eloise did not know what might happen next, nor did she predict which might happen. Penelope turned around and Portia followed.

“Penelope?” Portia said as she followed her daughter. Eloise remained behind, looking at the girl on the bed. She wondered what Penelope and Alfred would have named her.

Penelope came back into her room with the golden box she received from the Queen and the brown gift bag she recognized as the one she had purchased in Scotland. With the help of her mother, Penelope sat on her bed and unclothed her, revealing her tiny, naked body. Eloise and Portia exchange a look of concern, then focused their attention on Penelope’s actions. She dressed her in the night attire Eloise had purchased, put the tiniest of socks on her feet, then delicately wrapped her in the knitted blanket from the Queen.

“There-” Penelope wiped a tear away from her cheek. “That is how she will be laid to rest.” Those words alone broke Eloise’s heart. The insurmountable pain her best friend was going through, and her fast acceptance of the situation made Eloise’s eyes swell. But then, she picked her daughter up and cradled her.

“She will be the first and only child I bare. I wish to never be with child again.” Penelope’s spoke with determination as she looked between her mother and Eloise.

“You do not mean that, dear.”

“I do, mama. How can I go through such pain only to be rewarded with the most perfect girl and never be able to hold her again? It is too painful.” Penelope said, looking down at her daughter.

"Did you and Lord Debling have a name picked out?" Eloise instantly regretted asking that question, since it was a bit insensitive. Her daughter had passed away. The least of her concern was a baby name. Instead, Penelope looked up with a tearful smile.

“Eloise Rosalind Debling. That would have been her name.”

_

Alfred Debling was a man of nature, a devoted husband and hopeful father. He was rich in his blessings. Penelope was the woman he was destined to be with, the mother of his unborn child, and the Lady of his estate. Everything was going all too well for Lord Debling, until it was not. He had received word from home during a meeting that his wife was in distress. It would take him roughly an hour to get back to Mayfair and as he dismissed himself from his meeting, he found his carriage and told the foreman to go as fast as he could. With not much knowledge of what had happened, he sat in the back of the carriage assumed the worst. He worried for the safety of his wife and their unborn child, and he cursed himself for leaving her by herself that morning. He should have cancelled his meeting. With his wife so close to her due date, he should have been by her side, holding her hand as she made her way around their home. Once again, something had happened, and he was not there.

His heartbeat increased rapidly and loudly as he made his way into their manner. He saw maids bent over on the floor with a bucket of water and detergent, cleaning the floor. There was blood and without waiting a second longer, he ran up the stairs to their bedroom. There, he saw Eloise, Portia and Penelope holding their baby.

“Pen,” she looked up for a second, then back at the baby. For a second, his heart leaped with joy. Their baby had arrived. Portia and Eloise’s eyes were puffy, Penelope’s hair was wet, and she was dressed in a night gown. It did not take him long to realize what could have happened. Their baby was unresponsive.

“I am sorry, Alfred. I could not keep her safe.” She said, looking at the baby. She said it so plainly and he watched as a tear rolled down her cheek. She did not even bother wiping it away. Portia took Eloise’s hand and gave them some privacy, which he dearly appreciated. Eloise closed the door to their room after she had left.

“Penelope?” he asked once more, then when she did not respond, he sat next to her on their bed. Slowly, he leaned in closer and looked at their baby girl. Their Eloise Rosalind. His arm slowly snaked around her shoulder, and he was glad when she leaned in closer.

“You did nothing wrong, Penelope. You were valiant throughout the pregnancy.” Alfred tried soothing whatever pain she had felt, and he made to hide his own. He needed to be strong for her.

“He pushed me. I tried moving away from the staircase because he was so angry, but he pushed me. I woke up in Eloise’s arms on the floor.” Penelope said, he eyes not daring to look away from their Eloise.

“Who pushed you?” his voice darkened. Now, he was certain he was going to kill whoever she mentioned. She remained silent. Perhaps she knew of his intentions. “Who?” he asked once more, not allowing himself to get angry. It was not what Penelope needed in that very moment.

“You brother. He was in my study. He tried blackmailing me for money. He discovered that I am Whistledown, and he wanted £10 000 to keep my secret. I got away, but I got mad too. Perhaps I should not have tempted him, but then he pushed me, and I could not protect her. I should not have tempted him. Perhaps she would still alive if I had not-” By now, her voice had cracked, and he pulled her closer. She cried against his shoulder, and he wondered just how many times she had cried that day alone.

His brother was a dead man walking. It was only a matter of time before he would slip up and Alfred would go for his throat. Not only did Patrick take away their chance of becoming parents to this beautiful girl, but he was certain this traumatic event would scar his wife, in particular, forever.

-

As Eloise made her way into Bridgerton Home, she was immediately met with joyful cries of laughter. How could they laugh at a time like this? Her best friend had gone through the worst pain, and they were laughing? The universe was truly being unkind. She wanted to run to her room, close the door and cry herself to sleep, but she also wanted nothing more than to feel her mother’s warm embrace, to tell her just how much she loved her and she appreciated all she had done for Eloise.

“So they just turned the ship around for you?” she heard Benedict ask.

“Kate and Anthony are already on the way back home, and luckily we had not been too far from the mainland. It would have taken me a year, two and from India. Mother would have my head if I missed her masquerade ball.” She instantly recognized Colin’s voice.

Colin is home?

“So where were you all this time?” Violet asked. How Eloise longed to be in her mother’s arms.

“In Ireland. I made my way around the country, met some good people and became quite accustomed to their way of living. I must say, I do miss it.”

“And you did not think to write to us? We did not write because we assumed you were on ship to India!” Violet scold.

“I am sorry, mother. But now I am back, and I look forward to all you have planned this upcoming social season.” Colin replied, and just as Eloise stepped foot into the drawing room, she heard Hyacinth gasp. Her mother instantly rushed over, and Eloise cried as her mother held her.

“Eloise!” Violet exclaimed as she held her. “What has happened to you?” Eloise was too emotionally distraught to get a sentence out. Both Colin and Benedict grabbed their coats nearby. Gregory mimicked their actions.

“You will tell me now, sister. Who hurt you?” Eloise watched after her mother’s embrace as fear was splayed on Violet’s face. Benedict was determined to get an answer out of her.

“I am unharmed, it is Penelope.” She managed to say, sobbing violently.

“Penelope?” Colin asked as fear overcame them as well.

“Someone hurt her, and she lost the baby. It was a girl, mama.” Violet hugged ger once more. It must have been unsettling seeing her in her dress full of Penelope’s dress. They lead her to the settee, and Colin handed her a glass of water. She accepted it with shaky hands.

“What happened, Eloise. You must speak.” Colin asked her.

“I was going to help Penelope reorganize her baby clothes again. She had gotten into the habit of folding and refolding her them. Lady Featherington called it nesting. And she was going to show me the first chapter of the novel she had written. Lord Debling said it was fantastic, so I had to read it. She said I could be her editor, and so I took one of my grammar books with me-” she stopped for a second, remembering the book she had dropped after finding Penelope. “my book, I dropped it. I left it at Debling Manor!” Eloise looked at her mother.

“I can have someone retrieve it if you desperately need it.”

“I do not, I just remembered my book, that is all.”

“Then what happened?” Benedict asked.

“I was about to go inside, but a man ran out and he nearly knocked me over. He seemed scared, and he did not stop for a second to acknowledge me. He was around the same height as you, Benedict, with blonde hair. He was running extremely fast. I did not get a good look at his face.”

“Could it be Lord Debling’s brother, Patrick? He mentioned his brother had been living with them, but he left a few months ago.” Slowly, the pieces of the puzzle came together. Eloise remembered the first time he hurt Penelope. Her wrist was bruised for a week. Perhaps he had pushed her down the stairs in retaliation for Penelope evicting him.

“I pray I do not find him before Lord Debling does, because if I do, I will put those shooting lessons to good use.” Eloise muttered to herself. Violet sighed.

“Eloise, do not think such impure thoughts.” Her mother silently warned her.

“I cannot help it! I found my best friend at the bottom of her grand staircase in a pool of her own blood! She was unconscious when I found her. She did not move, and I feared she might have died. The only relive I felt during that entire situation was when I felt her faint heartbeat against the palm of my hand. She was screaming in pain the moment her eyes opened, and then I had to support her, with Lady Featherington as she pushed a baby out, a baby that was born a month before her due date. A dead baby. She went through all that only to hold a baby with no heartbeat! So, forgive my impure thoughts, but you all better pray Alfred Debling finds that man before I do!” Eloise pushed through her siblings around her and rushed out of the drawing room.

Chapter Text

Exactly two weeks after the incidence, Eloise woke up in the middle of the night with a hot shiver that tingled down her spine. Her forehead was lined with sweat and in an instant, she pushed the covers off and fanned herself to cool down. It was night two of her terrible flashbacks in her dreams, of Penelope laying unresponsive with blood around her. She knew it would affect her, but she not think it would invade her dreams where she could escape from reality.

As she hopped off her bed, she found a gown and quickly put it one. She needed to take a break from her sleep, since her sleep was no longer fill with dreams she enjoyed. To her surprise, she met her second oldest brother on the swing in the garden, smoking a cigarette. She smiled lightly, then made her way to him. 

"Do you perhaps have one for me as well?" Eloise asked, and Benedict quickly turned at his sister's voice. 

"Sister, of course! Come, sit." He said and she followed his instructions. The cold breeze against her face was wonderful. "You cannot sleep?" Benedict asked as her handed her cigarette and lit it for her. The fist puff was gratifying. As she exhaled, she felt as though the stress she had was gone with the smoke. 

"My dreams are no longer my own, brother." She said, holding the cigarette between her index and middle finger. 

"Penelope?" Benedict asked. 

"Unfortunately, yes. I cannot get the image of her laying on the ground out of my mind." Eloise replied. "If I had gotten there a lot sooner-"

"Eloise, do not do that to yourself." He reached out and held the rope of the swing she sat on. 

"Do you know I changed dresses twice that morning? And I took some time to find the book I needed." 

"And if he seen you, do you think he would not have done what he did?" 

"Alfred's brother?" Eloise asked. 

"Yes, do you think this prick would not have pushed Penelope?" 

"She was with child. I would have done all I could to protect her."

"Penelope knows that, I hope you know." Benedict said.

"You know, she does not wish to see me or anyone else. Mother and Lady Danbury paid her a visit just yesterday, and she refused them." Eloise sighed. 

"She is in mourning." Benedict said. 

"She said she could not see me because she named her daughter after me, and I was a reminder of her Eloise Rosalind." Eloise recalled. 

"The pain is still raw, and she will come around."

"Mama was a ghost when father died, for nearly a year. This was her child that had died, Benedict. She may never recover." Eloise said. The thought of losing Penelope did not sit well with her. 

"We have to be hopeful." Benedict said. 

"I suppose your are right, but there is one thing I do not understand. I have been thinking about it for days." Eloise said, taking yet another puff. 

"What is that?" 

"Debling Manor has a fleet of staff. It was rather strange walking into an empty house that day. All of the workers who worked in front and in the hallway were nowhere to be found. If one of them were there, none of this would have happened." Eloise said, her eyebrows knitted closer together. 

"What is going on here?" Eloise tried hiding her cigarette after Colin's voice rang in her eyes. "Eloise, you smoke?" He asked, standing before her with his hands on his hips. 

"No, I am merely holding Benedict's second cigarette." She lied. 

"Those things are deadly. I hope you both know that." Colin replied. 

"But they are so good. Have you ever tried one?" Benedict smiled. 

"I will not be influenced. Now tell me, what is happening here?" 

"I could not sleep, and Benedict was already here. Why are you up?" Eloise asked. Colin then folded his arms against his chest. 

"I cannot stop thinking about Penelope." Colin confessed. "It is just-" he sighed, and Eloise watched as he exchanged looked between her and Benedict. "Nevermind, it is foolish and unkind of me to say." 

"Now you have to say it, brother." Benedict replied. 

"I have honourable brothers. I know for certain you would not push Penelope down a flight of stairs." Colin said, and Eloise narrowed her eyes. 

"What are you saying, brother." Eloise asked. 

"She does not deserve this punishment. If she were married to me- "

"Oh, come off your high horse, brother. How many times are we going to have this conversation?" Eloise said, and her frustration lead her to taking another puff. 

"That is why I did not want to mention it. It is insensitive and cruel. But tell me, sister. Where was Lord Debling all while his brother hurt her? If he was thrown out, then how did he get in unnoticed?" Colin asked. That last question was the very same one that bothered Eloise as well. 

"I have been asking myself that question as well. Debling Manor has a fleet of staff. How did none of them notice him if they all knew it was Penelope who evicted him?" 

"Penelope evicted him? I did not know that." Benedict's shock was all over his face. 

"That certainly gives him motive." Colin replied. 

"He made her uncomfortable once. She called her things, and he hurt her. She had a bruise on her wrist for a week." Eloise stared at Colin all while admitted that. "Obviously, this stays between us." 

"That bastard! What did Lord Debling do?" Colin asked. 

"All I will say is Lord Debling had swollen knuckles and according to Rae, Patrick left with a bruised face and a broken nose. Lord Debling had him clean his own blood off the floor before leaving." 

"I would have killed him." Colin scoffed. 

"You sound like Lord Debling. Penelope urged him not to. She would have told you not to either, brother." Eloise found herself saying. She did not want to encourage Colin's thoughts, but she had to ease his anger as well. 

"So this staff, do you think they were asked not to be on duty?" Benedict asked. 

"Workers can be bought, take Rae for instance. How do you think I was able to speak to Penelope unchaperoned?" Colin asked.

"You just do not care about propriety, do you?" Benedict asked.

"Nevermind that, I am saying I believe Lord Debling's brother might have paid off the staff." Colin replied.

"Lord Debling cut him off. Where would he get the money?" Eloise asked.

"That is a very good question. So let us assume he did not bribe them, then why were they not stationed?" Benedict asked. 

"He must have paid them." Eloise nodded, then took after puff. 

"With his last few pennies, perhaps?" Colin asked. 

"Then why did he not just flee England after Lord Debling attacked him with that money? Something is off." Eloise replied. 

"Did he and Penelope have an argument before he pushed her?" Benedict asked.

"She will not speak of the incident." Eloise said. 

"Do you think he went back for more money? Penelope refused him and he got angry and pushed her?" Colin asked. 

"That could be the reason, but it still feel like we are missing a major piece to this puzzle." Eloise said. 

"He used the last of his money to get into the Manor unnoticed, and he thought he would be leaving with more." Colin said. 

"What are we missing?" Eloise asked. 

"Well, Penelope is Lady Whistledown. She has money. Could he have discovered her identity and blackmailed her?" Benedict suggested. 

"How would he know? She had not published in months. I do not think it is that." Eloise replied. 

"Going with Benedict's theory, work with me." Colin sat on the grass before them. "Patrick is cut off and he discovers Penelope is Lady Whistledown. He goes to the Manor and bribes Penelope. She refuses him and Patrick pushes her." Colin crossed his legs. "And the Queen offered a reward also, so maybe that motivated him." 

"We are the only people apart from the Featherington's and Mondrich family, and Lady Danbury who knows of the Queen's reward."

"Cressida was there was well." Benedict shrugged. 

"That is too far stretched brother. I know for a fact that nobody else knows of the Queen's reward. It would have caused a frenzy in the ton to reveal Lady Whistledown for the reward money." Eloise said. Suddenly, Eloise stood up. She recalled a letter she received from Penelope while she was Scotland. 

"That Whistledown theory, I think you might be right. Wait here-" Eloise threw her cigarette on the floor and killed it. She ran back to the house and to her room. 

She scrambled through letters all stored in a box from Penelope. She frantically opened a few of them and for the one she searched for. "This is the one." She was surprised at how quickly she was able to find the letter. She closed her box and pushed it back under her bed, then ran with great speed back outside. Colin was sitting where she was. 

"Get off, brother!" She said as she finally reached them, out of breath. Benedict took the letter from her as she regained her breath. She sat immediately after Colin got up. Benedict opened the letter and read it aloud. 

Dearest Eloise. 

I have had a rather interesting day. I had tea with the Queen! She invited me to Buckingham Palace because Lady Danbury informed her I am with child. Also, I think Lady Danbury knows I am Whistledown, but that is a conversation for another day, and why else would she bring up this fact about me? I am certain she knows. 

But of course, my brother-in-law dampered my mood. He brought up Whistledown and the reward money the Queen offered, and he heard from someone in the ton that the social season when I write so if he wanted to get that reward money, he would need to come back then. I truly wish her does not because he might want to extend his stay, and I truly cannot stand that man. His very presence is unsettling. And then, Alfred told me he caught him investing Lady Whistledown. I assured my husband he would not know who Whistledown is. He is too daft to figure it out!

But enough about him, I had tea with the Queen. She was upset I did not tell her myself I am with child, but I told her I did not think she would care. We had a very pleasant chat, and I wish to tell you all about it in person. 

Sending you plenty of warmth and love. I miss you dearly, and I cannot wait for the day you come home. I will be waiting, and I am eagerly counting the days. 

Yours truly,

Penelope Debling. 

"My, my!" Benedict said after he read aloud. "We could become private investigators."

"So let us get this story straight. Patrick discovers she is Whistledown, uses the last of his money to bribe the workers, blackmails Penelope for money since she is wealthy, and when she refuses him, he pushes her down the stairs." Eloise looked between her brothers. 

"As cruel as it may sound, I think you are right, Eloise." Colin replied. 

"So who told him about the Whistledown reward?" Benedict asked. 

"What if it were Cressida?" She asked. 

"Are they acquainted?" Colin asked. 

"I am not certain, but who else could have mentioned this to Patrick? The Featherington's would not, neither would we. Lady Danbury certainly would not, neither would the Mondrich's. It must be Cressida!" Eloise replied. "What if they planned to split the money?" 

"That is cruel, even for Cressida." Colin said. 

"But her father planned to marry her off to his aged friend. What if she wanted the money to get away?" Eloise asked. 

"What is she doing now since she claimed to be Lady Whistledown?" Benedict asked.

"Lord Cowper has he locked up in her room. I heard one of the women talking." Eloise replied. 

"Then how would she have told Patrick about the reward?" Colin asked. 

"I do not know, but I will find out. We are paying her a visit tomorrow. I will get answers out of her one way or another." 

___

Benedict, Colin and Eloise sat next to each other on the settee, waiting for Cressida in the Copwer drawing room. Eloise sat in the middle. 

"You are doing all the talking." Benedict whispered to his sister. 

"Of course I am." Eloise said, rolling her eyes. Soon after, Lady Cowper and a distraught looking Cressida came into the room. 

"Lady Cowper, could we have a moment alone with Cressida?" Lady Cowper looked at her daughter. 

"You do not have long. This is what you get for sneaking out in the middle of the night, young lady. You are lucky your father is not home. He would not permit visitors." Lady Cowper left them. 

"Who do you sneak out to in the middle of the night?" Eloise asked, crossing her arms and leaning closer. Cressida sat opposite her. 

"How is Penelope? I heard she fell and lost her baby." Cressida asked.

"You heard she fell? That is strange. I heard your friend, Patrick Debling pushed her." Cressida looked surprised. 

"I do not know who you speak of." She said. She was panicking. It was evident in her voice. 

"That is not what he told the Queen. He is in custody, you know." She felt Colin and Benedict's eyes on her, and she hoped they would somehow read her mind. 

"The Queen?" Cressida asked.

"Yes, have you not heard? The Queen has agreed to show him mercy if he tells her the truth. He says you told him about the Queen's Whistledown reward, and you discovered it was Penelope, and since you were not allowed to leave your house you told him to bribe her. You told him to ask for more money than the Queen had offered. He told the Queen it was your idea to push her if she refused." Eloise said. If Cressda was innocent, she would look like a fool. 

"That is simply true! The lies that man speaks!" Eloise gasped. 

"How did you meet him?" Benedict asked. Cressida did not speak, and Eloise knew what she was thinking. Her answers had been vague. If she had answered Benedict, it would confirm that she knew him. 

"He said you met him on his way back to the Debling Manor. You were crying to escape." Eloise lied. 

"This man is very mistaken!" 

"Clearly you know him. Why else would he mention you by name to the Queen? Lord Debling is furious! Do not anger him even more by lying to us! The woman he loves was pushed down a flight of stairs, and your name keeps coming up. Patrick Debling is going to put the blame on you and since Lady Whistledown and The Queen are friends, who do you think will be thrown in a dungeon by the end of the day?" Eloise exclaimed. 

"I met him during the day at the market place! He was shopping for a gift for his brother. He mentioned Penelope and I mentioned I did not like her much, then he told me she got invited to tea with the Queen. I found it strange, so I tried to discover why Penelope of all people had been invited to the Palace. Patrick and I had a theory, that she might be Lady Whistledown and so we went around to every printing place we could find until someone describe her to us. We planned to run away together with the money we intended to get after we bribed her. He paid off half of the staff to leave their posts for an hour so he could get in and speak to her. I did not mean for any of this to happen! He came to see me after it happened and he told me he pushed her down the stairs. He thought he might have killed her so he said we should run to Scotland. He had a friend there that would accommodate us, but I refused. I could not believe what he had done to Penelope! I never intended for her to get hurt and for that, I am sorry! Truly!" Cressida started crying, and Eloise looked at her brothers in shock. 

"I cannot believe that actually worked." Colin said. 

"Sister, you are a genius." Benedict added. Cressida wiped her tears. 

"Cressida, you are coming with us. I do not care what your mother thinks. You will not leave my sight." 

Chapter Text

Penelope laid in her bed for a week after her daughter's demise and only got out when she absolutely needed to. Other than that, nothing else seemed remotely important. She had received visitors, but she refused them, respectfully, of course. She would simply tell Rae to tell them she was not ready to see anyone. She ignored Alfred, even though he had done nothing wrong. The pain she felt was too raw and her wounds needed to heal. The only time she accepted a visitor was when a doctor came to examine her. He was surprised at how resilient she was, even after losing so much blood, but her resilience did not mean a thing if she was childless. 

Alfred did not deserve her treatment. He would try to comfort her, but she ignored his support. He valued her need for space so much, he had moved into his very own bedchambers. Penelope did not fight this decision. In fact when he suggested it, she encouraged it. She remembered how hurt he looked when she told him it was a good idea. All she wanted was to be alone, and she got what she wanted. She was alone in a dark room. She got up and closed the curtains each day as Rae opened them. She did not want a reminder that the world around her had moved on but she was still stuck. She remained where she was. Alone, and without her daughter. 

She remembered when Eloise came over the day after it happened. She sat in silence as Eloise babbled on. Her words slowly became muffled and she no longer understood what Eloise was saying. 

**

"Eloise, you need to leave." Penelope said, interrupting her quickly.

"I just got here."

"I cannot deal with visitors right now. And you being here is not helping, especially since I named her after you. It is too painful." Penelope said.

"Then I will come by tomorrow." Eloise said. The book she had left by the door was in her hand as she stood up.

"Do not bother. I cannot accept any visitors. Please relay the message to my mama as well when you see her." She laid back down in her bed and covered herself with the blanket. 

**

Penelope could not describe the state she was in, but she knew she preferred the darkness that had enclosed around. It allowed her to feel nothing. Feeling nothing was better than feeling everything. Alfred had brought in trays of food everyday, but she barely ate. She could feel as he paused by the door, willing to talk to her but she would not budge. In his silence, he closed the door behind him.

__

Another week passed by, the silence and darkness were still her only friends. It was not until Alfred came into her room that that she noticed the sun was out. He opened the curtains and placed a breakfast tray by her bedside. 

"Good morning, Penelope." He said, and this time, he stood before her. She laid there, staring at his knees. She still did not respond. 

"Penelope, you need to get out of bed, please." He pleaded, then got on his knees. He was eye level with her. "Please." He tried reaching for her hand, but she pulled away. With a deep sigh, he looked at the ground. "This is not healthy. You need to get out of bed, Penelope. I know you are grieving, but-"

"Grieving? And what do you know of grief?" Penelope asked. Her regretted it the minute it came out of her mouth. Her anger was misdirected. It was wrong. 

"Do not do this, Penelope. I am simply trying to help you." He sternly said, and Penelope sat up in her bed. 

"What is it that I am doing, Alfred?" 

Why am I saying all the wrong things? Why am I so angry?

"For the last two weeks, you have not looked at me, and now you have the gall to ask me what I know of grief?" He asked, Penelope crossed her arms. 

"Yes, Alfred. You carry on with the rest of the people in this ton. It is as if you do not care-"

No, Penelope! That was wrong to say! Where is this anger coming from?

"You do not get to make these assumptions, Penelope! Why do you think I do not care? If you have even looked at me for one second for these last two weeks, you would know that I care deeply! I lost a child as well, Penelope! I am grieving the loss of my daughter too!" He exclaimed. It was the first time Penelope had heard his voice raised. It scared her a bit. 

"You do not need to shout!" 

I deserved that. I am being unreasonable.

"I am angry, Penelope! There is no other way I can express my anger towards you." He replied, exhaling with a heavy heart. "I assumed we would grief together, but you wanted space. I have given you your space, but now I must simply step in. You are my wife, you went through so much, and I could not protect you from my brother, twice. I have begged you and pleaded with you to talk to me just so that I know you are getting better, but not once in these past two weeks have you asked me how I am, and that is unacceptable. You are not the only one grieving, Penelope." He replied. Penelope pushed the blankets off her. She suddenly grew hot. Her anger was the next phase in her grieving process. Now, she was livid. The voice in the back of her mind telling her she was being unreasonable faded away. 

"I am aware you have lost a daughter too, but were you pushed down a flight of stairs? Did you lay there defenseless with women surrounding you as you went through the most excruciating pain of your life? Did you have to give birth to the most perfect girl only for her to be dead?" She said as she got out of bed. At lease he was getting what her wanted - her out of bed.

"That is not fair-"

"What is not fair is that I have never heard her voice. I have never seen her eyes. I did not get to feel her squeeze my finger. I tried to get her to do it, but she would not move." Penelope said, her anger bubbled in her chest. 

"I missed out on those moments as well, Penelope! You do not get to stand here and talk just about you! What my brother did was unacceptable, and his day will come, but-"

"But what, Alfred? What?" She screamed. At this point, she did not even let him finish his sentences. 

"I was going to say that I wanted to be with you as we grieve, but you cannot even see through your own grief to notice me. I will stay out of you way." In a rush, he left the room, leaving Penelope once more. His words stung deeply, but she did not care. He did not understand what she was going through, nobody else she knew would.

That was their first argument as a married couple, and it felt like a fatal blow to the head. Lethal and poisonous. Perhaps she was a little to selfish with her grief. He was right, he lost a child as well. She would admit to her mistake the next day, but in that moment, all she wanted was to lay in bed and cry herself to sleep. 

__

Later that day, she was met with Rae violently shaking her awake.

"Rae!" Penelope exclaimed. She stirred in bed and wiped the crust away from her eyes. 

"Ma'am, you need to come to the drawing room!" Rae said with urgency, and Penelope shook her head. 

"No visitors." 

"You will want to see these people, ma'am. Come, I will help you. I told them to give you some time to prepare." Rae took both her hands and pulled her out of bed. "Lord Debling is with them, but they will not speak unless you are there."

"This better be worth it, Rae." Rae dressed Penelope in a dark purple dress. She did not do much to Penelope's hair, just brushed out the curls and let her hair flow at the back. For the first time in two weeks, she looked presentable. 

"Did I truly need to wear this dresses?" Penelope asked, a little annoyed at Rae's mysterious nature. 

"There are gentlemen in the drawing room as well. You must look presentable." Rae replied. 

"Rae, I truly do not wish to see anyone." Penelope complained once more. 

"You have been in your room for far too long. You will come with me to the drawing room to hear what those visitors have to say." Rae demanded, and Penelope's eyes widened, then she started crying.

"Why is everyone being so mean today?" She rested her elbows on the dressing table and covered her face as she cried.

"Ma'am, I apologize. I should not have raised my voice." Penelope accepted Rae's little side hug, until she felt a large hand on her back. 

"I will handle this. Thank you, Rae." Alfred said. Penelope looked up at her husband. 

"I am the worst wife in the world." Penelope sobbed. 

"No, you are not. I should not have shouted at you." Alfred said. 

"No, you should have. I was acting selfish. I am sorry for avoiding you and how you were feeling. And I might still have a dark cloud lurking over me, but I want you to know that I love you. We will get through this, and we can start with a simple conversation first." Penelope said. 

"That is all I needed to hear. As soon as our guests leave, we will talk." 

"No, I would like to go back to sleep, and I want you to hold me as I do. We can talk tomorrow." Penelope suggested. 

"That is fine with me. Can I kiss you?" Alfred asked, and she weakly smiled. 

"You never have to ask, Alfred. Just kiss me." Penelope said, and he pressed his lips against hers softly. She cupped his face with her hands. 

"I figured you might want some help going down the stairs." Alfred said as they broke their kiss. 

"That will be wonderful. Thank you, Alf." Penelope said as she took his hand in hers. They left the room together. She took a small pause at the topic of the staircase. The memories of that day came flooding, and she felt like she was drowning once more. 

"I cannot do it." She shook her head. 

"One step at a time. I will be here the entire time." 

"Please, do not make me do it. I cannot." Penelope softly said. 

"Okay, I will take you to your study so long." 

_

"Where is she?" Eloise asked with concern as Alfred returned. 

"She could not take the stairs. I suggested we meet in her study." Alfred replied. 

"Cressida, in front." Eloise demanded. 

"I still do not understand why Miss Cowper is here." Eloise heard Alfred whisper Benedict. 

"You will have to wait until we are with Penelope." Benedict replied. 

_

As the door to the study opened, Alfred walked in first, followed by Benedict, Colin, Cressida, then Eloise. 

When did Colin come home? And why is Cressida Cowper in my home?

Penelope stared at Cressida, and for some reason, she did not think Miss Cowper was here to express her condolences. She seemed frantic and nervous. 

"Cressida?" Penelope questioned. Alfred stood next to her and placed a firm hand on her back. 

"She has something to confess." Benedict said. Penelope looked between the trio and Cressida in confusion, then at Alfred. 

"Before she talks, let me explain why we are here firstly. Penelope, I know you said to did not want to see anyone, but I could not sleep, and I met Colin and Benedict in our garden last night. You were on our minds. We were so worried for you, and we tried looking for reasons why so many of the staff were not on duty that day." Eloise started. Penelope shook her head. 

"I cannot speak of that day, not right now." 

"Penelope, please listen to what we have to say." Colin pleased with gentle eyes. She looked at him for a moment. They had not seen each other in almost nine months. And now, he was in her home. 

"Okay," she whispered, then looked back at Eloise. 

"Did you say the staff were not on duty?" Alfred ask. 

"There was nobody around, none of the footmen were there. But Cressida will explain the rest." Eloise said, then shoved back. 

"Cressida, what is this?" Penelope asked with a soft voice. 

"Patrick paid almost half of the staff to disappear for an hour." Cressida look at her feet as she spoke. 

"How do you know this?" Alfred asked. 

"Because-" 

"No!" Penelope exclaimed, then stepped closer. She was right in front of Penelope. "If you are about to tell me you know Patrick and you were in on his scheme, you look me in the eyes right now and you say it to my face." Penelope demanded. Cressida's eyes slowly moved up and leveled with her. "Now speak." 

"I told him about the reward money the Queen offered for Whistledown's identity. We discovered it was you together. He said we should bribe you because there was no way your husband would know, so he paid off the staff and slipped into your home with ease. We planned to run away together with the money." Cressida confessed. 

At the very moment in time, Penelope was certain she had no make tears left in her tank. Just fuming fire, a red hot streak of anger. She was never one for violence, but she wanted to rip Cressida's hair out of her head slowly so she could feel pain. It still would not nearly cover the pain she went through. 

"So did you both plan to have him push me down the stairs as well?" Penelope asked, Cressida looked away, but Penelope grabbed her chin. 

"If you look away once more, I will rip your eyeballs from their sockets." She threatened in a low voice, but still loud enough for everyone else to hear. Penelope lowered her hand from Cressida's chin. 

"No. After he had done that, I said I could not leave with him. He thought you were dead, so he wanted to run to Scotland even more. I could not run off to Scotland with a killer." 

"How did he get the money to pay off the staff?" Alfred asked, stepping closer to Penelope and Cressida. 

"I may have stolen some money from my papa. He gambled and doubled the money I had given him." Cressida replied. Her eyes not leaving Penelope's. 

"So you suddenly grew a conscious? You could not leave with a man who had pushed a woman with child down the stairs?" Penelope asked. 

"I believed I was in love with him." Cressida said as Penelope scoffed, she half turned to face Alfred, who seemed angry. Penelope shook her head in disbelief. 

"Pen." Eloise popped her head up from behind Cressida. "Alfred, what will our next course of action be?" She asked, causing Penelope to look at Cressida once more. 

"I have been through the worst two weeks of my life, Cressida. And all while I laid in bed with darkness all around me, you knew? If the Bridgerton's had not brought you here, would you have come clean on your own?" Penelope asked, and a tear slipped from Cressida's eye. "No, you do not get to cry. I am not even crying, neither is Lord Debling."

"I am so sorry, Penelope. Lord Debling, I am so very sorry." Her cries filled the room. Penelope turned her back to Cressida, and as she looked at Alfred, she wondered what they might do. 

"How did you come to the conclusion Miss Cowper was involved?" Alfred asked. 

"We were talking last night, and we tried to piece together why your brother would do this. We searched for a motive and our only lead was that he knew Penelope was Whistledown. So we followed the clues and it lead us to Cressida. We went to her house with a mere speculation, and we got a confession instead." Benedict said. 

"Patrick is not really in custody with the Queen?" Cressida asked, wiping her tears away. Penelope immediately turned and looked at Eloise. 

"I may have told a few lies to get the truth out of her. I told her Mr Debling was in custody and he planned to pin the whole thing on Cressida." Eloise shrugged. Penelope was eternally grateful to her friend for not giving up. They were one step closer to finding Patrick. 

"Perhaps I should write to the Queen. She can decide your punishment." Penelope suggested. 

"I agree, my love. I do not care what happens to Miss Cowper. It is my brother I want." Lord Debling responded. Penelope went to her study desk and pulled up a piece of parchment paper. She inked her quill and started writing. 

Your Majesty

I am sure by now you have heard what has happened to me, but not many people are aware of the full story. Miss Eloise, Mr Benedict and Mr Colin Bridgerton has brought before Lord Debling and I proof that Cressida Cowper is involved in my accident. Justice must be served, and I am afraid my anger will prevent me from letting her experience the justice system to the fullest extent. Your advisement will be highly appreciated. 

Yours sincerely,

Lady Penelope Debling. 

"This will do. Have it sent out to her immediately." Penelope handed the note to her husband. 

"I do not trust anyone on staff." Alfred said. 

"Give it to Rae. I trust her implicitly." Penelope replied, and Alfred quickly looked at Colin. 

"She has been bribed before. What if she had accepted a bribe again?" Alfred asked, and she too looked at Colin. 

"She would never, not with your brother, and that was different." Penelope replied. 

"Okay, I trust your judgement, but I should like to be the one to give it the her majesty." Alfred said, and she took his hand. 

"I wish for you to stay, please." She pleaded, and he instantly responded by nodded his head.

"Then I will do just that. Let me get this notice to Rae immediately." He kissed the top of her head.

_

Colin watched as Lord Debling left Penelope's study, leaving just the four of them. He could not take his eyes of Penelope. Since the last time he had seen her, she had grown even more beautiful. He did not think it was possible. Somehow, it was. He watched as Penelope went back to her desk and closed the ink lid, then called Eloise aside. Benedict sat on the settee close to the door. 

"Perhaps you should like to sit, Miss Cowper?" Benedict asked, and she sat on the same settee, just a reasonable enough space away from Benedict. He sat too, on a chair close to them. Colin watched as they both turned their backs to them so they could not read their lips as they spoke. He looked at Cressida as she fiddled with her hands. Her eyes were swollen red. Penelope stood strong and handled Cressida with determination and ease. Of course, he knew Penelope was upset, but she breathed fire through her nose like a dragon as she spoke. Penelope let her anger speak, and it was clear.

He wondered what she thought of him, if she still remembered their good times together along with Eloise as children. He loved her dearly, but her heart belonged to another. Seeing Penelope and Lord Debling act affectionate with one another made him feel a certain way. 

That should have been me.

That was what his mind was telling him, but he missed his chance. In fact, he was a fool for letting his pride get in the way of this feelings. But in the end, he knew that he could not call Penelope his wife, at least her still got to call her his friend. 

As long as she is still in my life.

Colin concluded. It was the right thing to do. Although he may never love another as much as he loved Penelope, knowing she was his friend was all he needed to survive. She was happy, not at the current moment, but she was. Seeing Penelope and Lord Debling together gave him the closure he never knew he needed. 

_

"Eloise, I cannot thank you enough." Penelope immediately said as they turned their backs to the others in the room. 

"Why? I was merely doing what anyone else would who loves you dearly would." Eloise replied. 

"For two weeks, I was in my room. I was alone and sad. I did not ever think I would get over that feeling. Now, I am angry. Seeing Cressida and now knowing what she did has done eliminated all my tears for the time being." Penelope said. "And I am sorry for pushing you away, Eloise. You did not deserve it." 

"You were in mourning. Benedict helped me see that. You needed space." Eloise replied. 

"I do not wish to be alone any longer. I have pushed Alfred away as well, so much so that he has been sleeping in his private bed chambers." Penelope responded. 

"Truly?"

"Yes, unfortunately. I do not cope with grief very well. In fact, we got into an argument just this morning. I kept thinking I was going through all this alone, but he lost a daughter as well. I did not see things from his perspective at all." 

"I am just glad you both have sorted things out." Eloise took her hand. 

"We have not. We have hardly spoken about our argument at all." Eloise looked at her. 

"He does not seem angry with you at all." She said, and Penelope caught a glimmer of confusion on his face. 

"We are married. Married couples argue, but that does not mean we will stop loving each other." Penelope replied. 

"Well, that makes sense, yes." She shrugged. 

"You really are my greatest friend." Penelope lightly smiled, then placed her head on Eloise's shoulder. Their hands still intertwined. 

"You are mine as well. And Pen?"

"Yes?"

"I am sorry for your loss, truly. I hope you know I will always be in your corner, no matter what life throws at you." Eloise said. 

"I know, Eloise. And thank you."

_

Lord Debling made his way back to the study, seeing Eloise and his wife in a rather intimate moment behind her desk. He was glad Penelope was slowly but surely coming out of her state. 

"Gentlemen, a word?" Alfred asked, looking between Colin and Benedict. They stood up in an instant. "Penelope?" He asked, and both she and Eloise turned around. 

"Yes?"

"I have accompanied Rae to a carriage. She is on her way to Buckingham Palace. I would like to speak to the gentleman outside. Do you think you and Eloise could watch Miss Cowper? Or should I call for Mrs Clara?" Alfred asked. 

"We will keep an eye on her." Penelope replied. 

"Great." Alfred lead Colin and Benedict to another room along the passage. 

"What is the matter?" Benedict asked. 

"I know where in Scotland my brother may be. I will find him and challenge him to a duel. It is illegal and inhumane, but it must be done. He has dishonoured my wife and is responsible for my daughter's death. I must do it, for Penelope." He watched as Colin and Benedict exchanged a look. 

"Penelope would not want this." Colin quickly said. 

"And that is why I cannot tell her. What my brother did keeps me up at night and I cannot allow him to roam Scotland a free man a minute longer. Now, I am not asking for you permission, but since Penelope has no close male relatives other than me and her sister's husbands,I need to know if you both will take care of her while I am gone. I would speak to Mr Finch and Mr Dankworth, but they are new fathers. I would not expect you to prove for her financially. Everything is already planned out."

"Penelope is like a sister, of course!" Benedict replied. 

"And if anything were to happen to me, all my affairs are already in order. I have been preparing for this day for two weeks now. My nephew, Patrick's son, will inherit my estate. He is a sweet boy who is nothing like his father. He will make a great Earl someday." Alfred said. 

"You will come out victorious, we are certain." Colin said. 

"I might, but word will get around that I have been involved in a duel. I would be banished from society."

"The Queen will give you a pardon, I am certain." Benedict replied. 

"That is not the case. I may be pardoned, but knowing I have killed my brother will haunt me. Yes, it is all done for my wife's honour, but it will haunt me."

"You will need a second." Benedict said.

"That is not necessary, Benedict. I do not want anyone else around my brother. He is a dirty fighter, so I need to anticipate his moves. If this does not end well for me, I want to die knowing Penelope is protected and cared for." Alfred said. 

"Yes, of course. We will do our best." Benedict replied. 

"Very well. Can I trust your discretion? If you tell Eloise, she will tell Penelope." 

"We cannot lie to our sister, and she will figure it out. It was her who pieced this whole operation together." Colin instantly said. 

"You will not be lying. You will simply be omitting this entire conversation from her." Alfred said. 

"She will know, Alfred." Benedict said. 

"I suppose this private conversation will peak her interest." Alfred sighed. "Perhaps I will speak to Penelope first." 

"That sounds like a good idea." Colin replied. 

"But the fact still remains. Penelope will be provided for after my demise. There is a brown chest with our family crest embellished on the top. It is a sword and shield. The box I have prepared that box with instructions for one of you to follow. I will give it to you before you leave." Alfred spoke, looking at Benedict mainly. 

"Colin can handle that. I am going with you to Scotland." Benedict voiced. 

"Benedict, I cannot allow that."

"Penelope is the only woman who is not a Bridgerton I will go to such extreme lengths for. I will accompany to you Scotland, Alfred. End of discussion." Benedict said. He was glad he could call Benedict Bridgerton a friend. 

"But brother, Anthony left you and charge." Colin said.

"And now I leave you in charge. Perhaps you might find some purpose in that."

Chapter Text

The guards of the Queen were in Debling Manor in less than an hour. Rae had successfully delivered the message and since they did not live too far from the Palace, the Queen worked as fast as she could. Having Cressida be escorted out of her house to suffer a punishment directly from the Queen was temporary happiness for Penelope. It felt good being Lady Whistledown, but it was also being Lady Whistledown who had gotten her into this situation. The guards cleared out, and fast, leaving Penelope with her husband and the three Bridgerton siblings. She still could not use the stairs, so she watched from above. Soon after, they too were on their way. 

Now just Patrick.

Penelope thought, and since Cressida let it slip that they planned to run off to Scotland, they felt like they were going in the right direction. 

"We need to discuss something." Alfred stood next to her.

"Of course," Penelope replied, sensing the urgency in his voice. He took her hand and lead them to their bedroom, closing the door behind them. 

"Is this about the staff?" Penelope asked. 

"That has been dealt with. We will have new footmen by the end of the week, but that is not what I wish to discuss with you." Alfred said. 

"Then what is it?"

"I am going to Scotland. I am going to challenge my brother to a duel." Penelope's heart sunk. 

"You cannot! It is illegal." 

"My affairs are in order. The seas are a bit tough right now but I have a friend who will be leaving for Scotland in a week." Alfred said. 

"Alfred, please. You cannot do this. I would prefer it if we let the authorities handle this. I cannot let you do this!"

"It is done. He has dishonoured you, twice! He is the reason we do not have a daughter. Him rotting in a jail cell is too kind for him. I wish to see him suffer!"

"So killing him in the act of a duel will make it all better?" 

"It is what honour demands, Penelope!" 

"I understand, but you do not need to do that. Let the Queen pass her judgement. Let us do this the right way. I beg of you, Alfred." She grabbed his hands in hers. 

"I cannot. He does not deserve to breath the same air as you after what he has done, after what he has taken from us."

"You said your affairs are in order." Penelope said, retracing the conversation. 

"In case I do not make it out alive."

"No, you cannot. I refuse to lose you. You are not leaving me to go to Scotland." She tossed his hands away from her in anger. 

"I am doing this for you, for us!"

"But your affairs are in order? Have you planned my life after you are killed? Is that your affairs?" Penelope asked. 

"I will make sure you are provided for, for the rest of your life. I am sure your Whistledown earning will be plenty, but i will set you up with property of your picking and staff to accompany you, and-"

"That is unfair and cruel. How dare you do this to me?" 

"I am not doing anything to you, I am doing this for you! There is a difference." 

"You have planned my life after you as if you think I will be able to survive a life without you? What you have planned does not matter unless you are here! Do not do this! Do not make me mourn you as well! I will not survive!" She pleaded. He seemed unphased, which broke Penelope's heart. 

"I do not want to do this, but I must. I leave in a week." He kissed her forehead, then left the room in a rush. She slumped on her bed, and just when she thought she had no more tears left, her body magically made some more. She cried out loud for something that was yet to happen. 

_

It was roughly four in the afternoon when Penelope found herself at the top of her staircase once more. Her bedchamber had become a place of sadness and tears, and she no longer wanted to be in that state. She had to get out, but she knew she would have to get down the stairs if she wanted that. 

"My Lady?" Penelope saw Mrs Clara standing next to her at the top. 

"Mrs Clara." Penelope said, then looked back at the stairs. 

"Are you going down?" She asked. 

"I want to, but my feet will not move." Penelope answered. In truth, she did not think it would bother her that much. It was just stairs. 

"Would you like to hold my hand?" Penelope smiled at Mrs Clara. 

"Yes, please." Mrs Clara took Penelope's hand and with her other hand on the railing, she took her first step down. Then another. The another. Then she remembered her heads hitting the steps and so she stopped.

"My Lady?"

"They are so clean, the stairs. It is as if nothing bad has ever happened on them." Penelope said, her eyes trailing all the way down. 

"We have a very strong detergent."

"I imagine you have been a housekeeper for some time?" Penelope asked, taking another step. Perhaps it would be easier if she were distracted. 

"I have been a housekeeper for the Debling's since Lord Debling was a teenager."

"And what were his parents like? Alfred has mentioned they were cold, unaffectionate beings." 

"They were, and I am so proud of Lord Debling for persevering through his parents' tough demeanor." Mrs Clara said. "His mother was a cruel woman. She did not see her house staff as people."

"That is cruel. I am sorry you had to ensure that." 

"That is alright, my lady. She was not the ideal Countess. You, on the other hand, are doing a very good job. We are proud of you." Penelope smiled. 

"In truth, I do not know what I am doing, but thank you." She said. 

"You are very welcome, my lady." They reached the bottom of the staircase. "And my lady? I know you have been through the worst thing imaginable, and I am the housekeeper after all, so I notice things. Do not push the people you love away. Lean on them." Mrs Clara said, and Penelope gave her a hug. 

"You are a very wise woman, Mrs Clara." She felt Mrs Clara's arms wrap around her. "And thank you for assisting me. You do not know what it means to me." 

"Anytime, my lady." Mrs Clara replied. "Would you like me to call Rae?" 

"That will not be necessary. Let her have the rest of the afternoon off. She is the very reason I am out of bed."

"She told me she may have raised her voice at you." 

"And I needed it. Perhaps I will gift her with some flowers."

"Or a day off. That girl works hard."

"Or that, thank you for suggesting that."

Penelope made her way to the carriage and gave instructions as she where she needed to be. It was time her mother knew the truth about her. She was done hiding her identity from her. 

_

Arriving at Featherington House felt surreal. She missed being there. The last time she was there was when Prudence had given birth to the heir. Their mama still lived there. She planned to move into a dowager house but Prudence insisted on having her around around little Peter was a little older.

Mrs Varley hugged her a little tighter than usual when she arrived, and she caused so much commotion, her mother had come out with Peter in her arms to see why Varley was crying. 

"She is here!" Varley said, holding Penelope's shoulders.

"You should not be travelling alone, Penelope." Her mother scolded.

"I came here to apologize."

"Whatever for?" Portia asked. 

"For pushing you away. I know you and my sisters came to see me everyday for a week after my accident. I was too hurt to see anyone, and for that, I am sorry." Penelope said. Varley took Peter from Portia. 

"I will give the little Lord to his mother." Varley said. Portia hugged Penelope, and her mother's embrace made her teary. 

"There is much we need to discuss, mama." Penelope said after their embrace. Portia held her back as they made their way to the drawing room. 

"Well, what is it?" Portia asked once they were settled in on the settee. Penelope did not know how her mother might react to the Whistledown news especially, given all the cruel things she has said over the years. 

"You have every right to be upset with me, and all you have to do is the say words leave, and I will go." Penelope started off, confusing her mother. 

"Penelope, what is-"

"I am Lady Whistledown." Her mother leaned back slightly, then a curved appeared on her lips, followed by a heartfelt laugh. Penelope was perplexed, to say the least. It was not the reaction she was expecting at all!

"You are quite the joker, Penelope." Portia added as she laughed on, placing both her hands on her stomach. 

"I am not joking. I speak the truth." After a moment, the laughter died and Portia leaned back in.

"You mean to say," Portia started, then sighed heavily. "Oh, Penelope!" She exclaimed loudly, then got up from her seat. She started pacing the room. Penelope decided it was best to let her speak first, only to gather her thoughts. Portia stopped suddenly, then turned to her. 

"You mean to say it was you who wrote all those terrible things about me, about your sisters, about yourself?" Portia asked, and Penelope looked away in disgust. 

"Yes,"

"I have done all I could to try and save our family from ruin and yet, the very source of that ruin has been conspiring against me has been living under my roof this whole time?!" Portia replied, her anger seeped though her voice. "Penelope!"

"Mama, I apologize for all I have written."

"You apologize? You have made me look like a mere fool to everyone in the ton! How could you do such a thing?" Portia asked. 

"I felt powerless in my own home. You did not seem to care much for me, so when I started writing, I got a taste of power and I did not want to ever stop! I wrote only the truth, only things that I may have heard from others. I never published a lie."

"But I am your mother."

"I know, mama. I am sorry, truly. I suppose you can now say that I am suffering for making other members of the ton suffer with my column." Portia sat back on her seat, and her mother's look soften greatly. 

"This was not your fault. You did not deserve that. Now I do not know what might have happened that day, but you cannot say that you deserved that." Portia say back down. She held Penelope's hand in hers. 

"Yes, mama. It is because I am Whistledown, that is why Lord Debling's brother pushed me." Penelope revealed. 

"Lord Debling's brother did this to you?" Portia asked, and Penelope nodded her head. "He found out you are Whistledown?" Portia asked, and Penelope nodded her head once more. "You have not written about him. What motive does he have to harm you?" Portia asked. 

"There is something else I wish to tell you."

"Oh, dear God, Penelope! What else have you been hiding from me?"

"This one is not a secret, but I did lie to you about how I got that bruise on my wrist." Penelope eyes fluttered in direction of her mother, who seem irrated, for some reason. 

"Did- Did your husband-" Penelope did not let her mother finish what she had insinuated with such deep anger laced in her voice. 

"No, Alfred would never. It was his brother. He suggested him and I have an extra marital affair and I rejected him, so he grabbed my wrist and twisted it harshly. Rae came to save me from him before he could do anything else. I was already with child by then, but that look in his eye frightened me." Penelope said. 

"Oh, my sweet child!" Portia hugged her daughter, holding her close to her chest with a tight squeeze. "Bless Rae!" Portia added. They parted from their hug, Portia still had Penelope's hands in hers. "Did you tell your husband?" 

"I did, and I told him I invicted his brother as well, but Patrick came back and told Alfred it I was I who came onto him. Alfred attacked him and cut him off financially." Penelope replied. 

"I am glad your husband believed you. It is not always the case, for most women." Portia replied. 

"I am aware, and I am too. But mama, being Lady Whistledown got me in that situation to begin with." Penelope admitted. "He came back that day, and he blackmailed me. He said there was no way Alfred knew, but Alfred knew I was Whistledown before we even got married. He did not mind at all, and Patrick asked for £10 000. I refused, he got mad and pushed me. He was in partnership with Cressida Cowper." 

"Cressida Cowper?" Portia asked, astonished. 

"Yes, the Queensgaurd came to escorted her to the palace for a punishment. Eloise, Colin and Benedict made that discovery. They planned to run away with the money." Penelope said. 

"I am so sorry, Penelope. This should not be happening to you at all." Portia said. 

"Thank you, mama. I knew I had to come see you. I do not know where else to go. Alfred wants to go to Scotland and challenge his brother to a duel. He has made up his mind, and he has even planned for what might happen in case he dies. It is just too much for me to deal with at this current moment." Penelope responded. 

"Have you tried to talk him out of this careless decision?" 

"I have, mama. He will not listen. He does not care of what might happen to me in case he dies." Penelope said, tears escaping her eyes. 

"That is simply not true, my girl. He feels he must do it to honour you. That is love. It is a foolish act, but as a man he feels like it is what he must do. You have to be hopeful all will end well." Portia said, rubbing her thumbs over Penelope's knuckles. 

"It will not end well, even he does not think so. He has made arrangements for me already. That is unfair!" Penelope cried out. "And it will never be the same. He will be regarded as a criminal, and it is his brother, of all people." 

"But it is his brother, of all people, who had done such a terrible deed! Look at what he has cost you and Lord Debling."

"I do not wish to be reminded of what we lost. It hurts too much." Penelope said, wiping her tears away. 

"And that is why he is doing it as well. He is just as hurt. I do not agree with dueling, but in this case, it must be done. That man is vile, and he should not be allowed to walk around as a free man." Portia added. 

"Why can mu husband not see that it would be safer to just let the authorities handle Patrick? I do not wish for him to put himself in danger."

"That is a question I do not know the answer to. For now, you must be hopeful, that your husband will come home in one peace, and once your doctor clears you, you can try for a baby once again." Penelope pulled her hands from her mother's hold. 

"I do not wish to try for another baby. I had one, and she died. I cannot go through that again. What if the next child I bare dies as well? I will not survive, so I will prevent myself from ever knowing." Penelope folded her arms against her chest. 

"Penelope, Lord Debling will want an heir." 

"He has a nephew, Patrick's son. He is young, but from Alfred had said about him, he is a good boy. His estate will be left in the hands of another Debling." Penelope replied. 

"So what? You will just be in a childless marriage?" Portia asked, then Prudence walked into the room with little Peter in her arms. 

"Penelope! Varley said you were here. I did not think it was true!" Prudence smiled, but all the while, Penelope looked at Peter. The sweet boy had hair as dark as his father. Babies have always warmed Penelope's heart. The thought of never having one hurt, but she had to prevent herself from heartbreak once more. 

"Uh, yes. I have not been here for long though." Penelope said. 

"I hope you are feeling better. We have been to Debling Manor but Rae said you were not accepting visitors." Prudence said, and Penelope made her way to her feet. Prudence walked towards her and hugged her as best as she could. Penelope caught a whiff of Peter's hair, and how he smelled like a baby. His little feet dangled in the air as his mother held him. His hands waved around, and as Penelope held her sister back, she placed her finger in Peter's hand. His entire hand wrapped around her finger with ease. 

This is what it was supposed to feel like. 

She stopped herself from crying at what she had lost as soon as Prudence broke their hug. 

"Harry and I are here for you, and so is the Lord Featherington." Prudence said, smiling at her son. Penelope had to admit, motherhood looked spendid on Prudence. 

"I appreciate that, thank you Prudence." Penelope said. 

"You are welcome, sister." Prudence smiled. Peter went on babbling little unrecognisable words, then his arms waved in Penelope's direction. Peter reached out to her with both his arms. 

"Would you like to hold him?" Prudence asked, and Penelope exchanged looks between Peter and Prudence and before she could answer (she was going to say no and swiftly leave), Peter was propped into her arms. Her instincts took over and she held him as tight as she could, being careful not to crush him. Peter let his arms hang over her shoulder and his head rest on her left shoulder. This was supposed to her with her own daughter. He began playing with her hair from behind. Penelope faught every urge not to cry, and so she did not. She turned to face her mother and Prudence, who sat and looked at her. 

"He likes you." Prudence smiled. 

"It took him a while to get used to me." Portia added. 

"I have only met him twice, and you live here. How is that possible?" Penelope asked. His head propped back up and Peter looked into Penelope's eyes. "Hello." She smiled. The palm of his hand hit her nose and she giggled. "That hurt, actually." Portia and Prudence laughed as well. 

"I am surprised he has not pulled your hair yet." Prudence said through her smile. 

"Children do that? They pull hair?" Penelope asked.

"Babies, in particular, will pull anything that dangles before them. They are dangerous like that. And their grasp is so freakishly strong!" Portia said. Peter's hand's roamed around on Penelope's face. She had to close her eyes so he would not poke her eyeballs. With her eyes still closed, she felt the sensation of yet another hand gripping on her cheek. She heard her mother and sister's laugh. Peter mimicked his movements and gripped both her cheeks. 

"Seriously, Peter?" Penelope mumbled out. Peter just stared at her in awe. She managed to gently push his hands away from her cheek. "You, are by far, the cutest Lord I have been seen." She kissed his little cheek, then made her way to Prudence. 

"I should put him down for a nap." Prudence said as Penelope handed Peter to his mother. 

"I must get going as well." Penelope added. 

"I will pay you visit soon, sister. Take care." Prudence said, then left the drawing room with Peter.

"Do you really wish to go?" Portia asked, standing up. 

"I do." Penelope shrugged. 

"Okay, get home safely. And please, take care of yourself." Portia hugged her. 

"I will, mama. Do not worry. I will be fine." 

__

For the duration of her trip home, she thought of Peter. Although she knew she made that decision of not wanting any more children in a state of utter heartbreak, she knew she would commit it, even after holding Peter. She wanted to be as optimistic as she could, that next time might be better, but now she was aware of what she miss if yet another tragedy would occur. She would not let herself be hurt by that. She decided to make decision that would not let her be hurt in the end, so she had to ensure her husband would not board that ship to Scotland. It would break her heart into a million pieces if anything were to happen to him. 

Chapter Text

Colin Bridgerton considered himself a man of his word, so when he made his way to his room, Lord Debling's chest box still in his hands, he promised be would fulfil the wishes of a potential dead man walking. He immediately cursed himself for thinking of Lord Debling as a potential dead man, but in truth, anything could happened. Hearing what Lord Debling's brother was capable of, Colin believed Lord Debling was making the right decision. He seemed determined to honour his wife, as he should. Penelope deserved to be honoured. 

He placed the box on the table in his room and gazed upon it with curiousity. He needed to see what was inside. And so, his curiosity took over. He brought the box to his bed and pulled out the first document. It was a list of properties with a note attached to it. 

Please note: Lady Penelope Anne Debling has the option of what property she should like to take up residence in. 

Majority of these properties were further away from Mayfair than he expected. Gloucestershire, in particular, sounded splendid and elegant. He could not imagine Penelope would pick that property in case she had to choose, he imagined she would pick something warm and cosy, like the property Lord Debling had in Bloomsbury. He knew of Bloomsbury homes. He loved a particular place he had seen, also a property under the Bridgerton name. 

Perhaps I should take up residence in Bloomsbury?

He admired the description of the home, and he knew it was something Penelope would love. He certainly hoped it would never get to her choosing where to reside, but he knew she would love Bloomsbury. It was not far from Mayfair at all, and she would want to be close to her family and Eloise, of course. 

He rummaged though the chest and came across a legal document, already signed by a solicitor. 

In the event of my demise, I, Lord Alfred Michael Debling, leave my estate to the next eligible and honourable make heir, my nephew, Vincent Tyler Debling. In no way should the the noble title of EARL be passed to my brother, Patrick James Debling. 

In the event I am to have a son before my demise, my estate will be passed over to him. 

Colin read through the signed declaration once more. It was well planned out and executed, leaving nothing for his brother. He also noted that his brother should not be compensated in any sense. Future alone the lines, he found an unsealed letter addressed to Penelope, which he chose not to read, but his curiosity peaked onces more, and so he read it. 

*

A few moments later, he folded the letter in the exact state he found it in and it made him lose all sense of wanting to complete his search through the box. He closed it up and decided to store it under his bed for the time being. Reading that letter made him throw himself on his bed with his shoes on, his arms crossed as he stared at the ceiling. 

Lord Debling truly loves her!

His mind wandered around what their love looked like. Based on what he had seemed, he could tell Alfred Debling was devoted to his wife and respected her decisions and opinions. He was a mature and sensible man. It is exactly the type of man Penelope deserved. He could see how Penelope had fallen for him so quickly. 

That letter was so moving, he begun to feel less jealous of Lord Debling all together. His kind and caring nature really surprised Colin. At first glance, Lord Debling seemed bland and unaffectionate. His love for nature made him see too... too particular! Colin could not think of any other words to describe it. His diet of vegetables made him an odd man around the ton, indeed. But underneath all that oddness and particular nature, he was simply a man besotted with his wife. 

___

The next day:

Penelope woke up the next day with an arm wrapped around her body. When she arrived home, she had went straight to her room and fell asleep atop the covers. She heard from Rae that Alfred was out for the night and he would return shortly, but she could not stay awake once more and speak to him. 

Having missed how his hands felt against her, she moved on closer to him, which instantly woke him up. He pulled her in closer and his hands gripped her hips. 

"Are you still mad at me?" She heard his groggy morning voice. 

"Good morning to you too, Alfred." She replied. 

"Forgive me, good morning." He said, leaning his head against hers. 

"And to answer you question, yes. I am. You wish to leave me to go to Scotland in six days." Penelope replied with a sigh. 

"I do not want to talk about Scotland. I want to talk about us." Alfred replied. 

"What about us?" She placed her hand over his. 

"We have been apart for two weeks, Penelope. It was torture." He said, his head nuzzled against hers. 

"I suppose now would be an ideal time to talk about it." She replied.

"I did not like it. I understand we were both grieving, and I have tried for so long to try and get you to open up to me, but you could not. I did not know what else to do. I suggested your mother come by with your sisters, but you would not even see them. I did not know what else to do." Alfred confessed. 

"I am aware. They were hear all week, I heard." Penelope said. 

"They did not have to come everyday, but they too were just as concerned about you."

"I am sorry for pushing you and everyone else away. I did not know how to deal with what I was going through, and so I preferred the state I was in." Penelope said. 

"What was the state you were in?"

"I was surrounded by constant darkness and loneliness, and I liked it. When in that state, I felt nothing at all. Feeling nothing was better than feeling everything." Penelope said, closing her eyes as she remembered. 

"Would you like to talk about what you did not want to feel?" Alfred asked, and she paused before answering. Her eyes were still shut. 

"Pain, feeling like a failure, sadness..." 

"Why did you feel like a failure?" Alfred's voice was soft against her neck. 

"I tried to shield my fall as best as I could, but I could not protect her." Penelope replied. 

"That does not make you a failure, Penelope. You did your best, and that was not your fault at all. If anything, I should be wallowing in my feelings of being a failure." 

"Why?"

"Because I failed Patrick as a brother. I should have guided him. I have failed you as a husband and I have failed our daughter. I could not protect either of you, and it is my job to." His voice cracked a bit. Penelope had never heard him be so vulnerable. "I should have cancelled that meeting, I should have told the driver to go faster. I should have been there and for that, I am sorry." Penelope heard his voice start shaking, and he started sobbing. It broke her heart to hear him speak of himself as a failure, and so she turned around in his embrace. 

"You, Alfred Debling, are the furthest thing from a failure. I do not ever wish you hear those words come out of your mouth. You are a good husband, and you would have made such a good father." Penelope said, holding him. 

"It is easier said than done. I should have dealt with Patrick a long time ago. Perhaps, we would have had our Eloise in our arms already." Alfred said. 

"You are a very honourable man. You did what you could to protect me and our child. I truly am sorry for pushing you away when we should have been with each other the entire time." She said with a tearful smile. 

"At least we have each other now." She grabbed his had and kissed it lightly after his last statement. 

"Always, Alfie." She hated having to bring up Scotland after such a vulnerable moment, but she knew she had to. "You are honourable and we have each other, and I would hate to never have you in my life. That is why I do not think it is best for you to go to Scotland." She said in the softest voice. 

"Penelope, I-"

"Please, Alfred. We have the resources to start a manhunt for him. We can have people bring him to us. You do not have to endanger yourself." 

"Pen, I know you are scared, but I am certain I will be alright. Benedict has offered to join me." His voice did sound too assuring. 

"Why would he do such a thing?" She asked. 

"Because, Penelope, you are loved. I will not be alone." 

"That does not make thing better for me at all." Penelope sighed.

"Give me five days. If I am not back, you can come to Scotland yourself and bring me home if you must. I simple need five days. I will find him, do what I need to do and be done with it. Then, I will come home to you. You have to believe that I will." Although she was uncertain, she wanted to believe he would come home. And so, she went against her moral compass and supported him. She did not like it, but this was a compromise. He simply had to come home. 

"Alfred, I am not giving you a choice. You will come home after five days. And I swear, if you die-"

"Do not worry, Penelope." 

__

Colin Bridgerton groaned as he made his way to the breakfast table that morning. He had slept poorly.

"Brother, what has gotten into you?" Gregory asked. 

"I do not wish to talk about it." In truth, he just simply had a bad night. 

"You look extremely tired!" Violet added. "Oh, and I must have a word with the three of you." Violet pointed at Eloise, then Benedict, then Colin. "Once we are done breaking fast, meet me in the study." She said, then continued to have her meal. Colin looked between Eloise and Benedict. He was certain his mother was going to question their whereabouts the previous day. 

*

In the study, Violet closed the door firmly behind her. Eloise, Benedict and Colin all stood before their mother with puzzled looks. 

"I had to stop Lord Featherington from ripping Lady Cowper's hair out at the market yesterday. She received word that Cressida Cowper was somehow involved in Penelope's fall?" Violet asked with her eyebrows raised. 

"That is the truth, mother. Cressida and Lord Debling's brother planned to extort money from Penelope and run away with said money." Eloise replied. 

"I am aware, Lady Featherington informed me. She also said it was the three of you who discovered Miss Cowper was involved?" 

"Yes." Colin quickly said. 

"I am very proud of you, my children. You have done a great service to Penelope and Lord Debling." Violet lightly smiled. 

"Thank you, mother." Benedict replied. 

"But there is one thing that Lady Featherington did not mention. She would not tell me why Mr Debling and Miss Cowper were so set on blackmailing Penelope." Violet asked. 

"We do not know, mother." Colin replied. 

"That is strange, since it was the three of you who discovered Miss Cowper was involved, so clearly you know." Violet replied. 

"That is not out secret to share, mama." Eloise said, and Violet nodded her head. 

"And I suppose that is why Lady Featherington did not tell me as well. It is not her secret to share." Colin was surprised Lady Featherington possibly knew Penelope was Lady Whistledown. 

"She has changed a lot, Lady Featherington." Benedict replied. "Oh, and that reminds me, I leave for Scotland in six days." Violet's eyes widened. 

"What?"

"It is for Penelope, mother. Trust me, I am helping my friends out. I will be home in a week. I promise you." Benedict replied. 

"Yes, I suppose that is alright. Be a good brother and pay a visit to you sister as well." Violet said. She turned to leave, but faced them once more. "I am incredibly proud of you all." Violet smiled. 

"Thank you, Mother." Colin said with a smile. Violet left the study, leaving the three of them. 

"Penelope will never agree to a duel, so you might as well tell mama you are not leaving." Eloise folded her arms. 

"He said he would speak to her." Benedict said. 

"That is not the point. I know Penelope. She will ensure she gets her way." Eloise pointed out.

"I am certain Alfred will convince her it is the right thing to do." Benedict replied.

One Week Later:

The week had gone by in the blink of an eye, and in that week, Cressida Copwer had been banished to Wales. Her father pleaded with the Queen to seek punishment as he saw fit, and asked not to be banished from society because of his daughter's poor choices. Her father chose to send her to Wales to stay with his sister and Cressida's aunt, Joanna. She did not oppose this punishment, although her rage wished the Queen would have called for the removal of her head, it simply would not bring back what she has lost. She had received plenty of visits from her mother and sister, and little Philomena and Peter would accompany their mothers. She loved having her niece and nephew around her. 

"So Lord Debling leaves for Scotland today?" Prudence asked. 

"Yes, Cressida let it slip that he might be there." Penelope said as she sipped her tear. 

"I cannot believe you will be left all by yourself in this massive house." Portia said, looking around the drawing room. 

"Actually, mama-" Penelope placed her teacup in the table. "I wanted to ask you a favour." 

"I am listening." 

"Alfred will be gone for less than a week, and I was wondering if you might stay with me for that time being. I know it is rather short notice, but Alfred suggested I have family nearby to keep me company." Penelope bit her lip. 

"Of course, dear. I will be here with the essentials by the end of the day." Portia smiled. 

"Thank you, mama." Penelope smiled in return. 

"What am I supposed to do without mama at home?" Prudence asked. 

"You must figure that out for yourself, my daughter. Did you expect I would be staying in your house forever?" Portia asked. 

"It is your house too." Prudence faught back. 

"Actually, it is Peter's estate now. Perhaps he should get a say in the matter?" Philippa asked. Prudence lowered her next to her son on her lap. 

"What do you say, my little Lord? Should we grandmama to stay forever?" Prudence asked. The boy clearly did not know what was happening, so all he did was release little sounds of joy into the drawing room. "He said yes, mama." Prudence looked up. 

"I would be pleased to, but I must start looking ahead. You will need your space, and Lord Featherington will also need to learn the ways of society through schooling. I do not want to get in the way." Portia said. 

"Mama, you could never get in the way. We enjoy having you with us." Prudence replied. 

"But still, I will take a Dower House soon, but first I will stay with my Penelope for a little while." Portia smiled in her direction. 

"I truly appreciate it." Penelope replied, then Alfred came into the room. 

"Ladies," he bowed. 

"Alfred, I take it you are all packed for your trip?" Portia asked. 

"Yes, I am just about ready." He smiled at them. 

"Is there anything you still require?" Penelope asked, standing up and smoothing her lilac dress. 

"Yes, a moment alone with you, please. I wish to discuss something with you." Alfred said. 

"Of course -" Penelope turned to her family. " Excuse me for a moment. I will return shortly." Penelope said, and Alfred took her hand as they left the drawing room. 

"Could you slow down, please?" She giggled, then before she knew it, they were in the very same supply closet they confessed their love for one another in. After he shut the door, he turned to face her. 

"Seriously, the supply closet?" She asked. 

"This is your favourite room in the house, is it not?" Alfred asked. 

"It certainly is." She said he he pulled her closer by her waiste. She responded by wrapping her arms around his lower back and looking up at him. 

"I wished to give you a proper goodbye, but your doctor has not cleared you for any physical activity." 

"It is not a goodbye, you will be back. I am hopeful." Penelope said, trying to hide her red cheeks in their poorly lit room. 

"I will be, but still. Until Benedict arrives, I could kiss you instead." Penelope liked the sound of that. 

"I suppose that could work." He lowered his head and captured her lips in his. It was slow and steady, their kiss, but it still emoted their love for one another. 

"I will miss you dearly, dear wife." He whispered as his breath tingled against hers. 

"I will miss you too. Just please, come home. That is a great request." Penelope said. 

"I will, my love. I will come home to you." Alfred replied, then kissed her forehead. "I will honour you, and come home to you." 

"I still do not agree with this method, but I trust you will do what you need to." Penelope said. 

"Thank you for trusting me, Penelope. You certainly are the greatest wife I could have ever asked for." Alfred said. 

"Come, my family might be worried. Let us return now." Penelope said, taking his hand in hers. Slowly, they made their way back to the drawing room. 

Peter and Philomena were sitting comfortably on the floor, their hands holding each other. Penelope watched in awe, and with a broken heart. 

"Once we are ready, we will have our home be this warm with children." He whispered in Penelope's ear. Her blood ran cold. How would she tell him she did not want to have children any longer? She decided not to say anything, and inform him when he comes home instead. He would be upset, even heartbroken. But she hoped he would understand her reasoning. 

Chapter Text

Day One:

The nerves, the unsettling feeling, the ache in her heart... They were all present the moment she opened her eyes after Alfred had left. He was no longer in her sight, and that was frightening. Anything could happen. The ship could go down, he could be bitten by a venomous snake, he could slip and fall and break his neck, he could stumble upon something he might be deathly allergic to. But then again, all that (apart from the ship going down) could happen in London as well. Her stress levels lowered slightly, but it was still stressful to know her husband was out in Scotland with nothing but vengeance on his mind. 

He will be good. Benedict will be good. Everything will be good. 

She told herself, hoping her mind would accept those three sentences. 

"Good morning, Penelope!" Her mother's exuding positivity annoyed her at the fullest extent. Knowing everything, how could she be so joyful? She pulled the curtains open, and the sun peaked against Penelope's face. She moved away in annoyance, hoping her groggy mood would make her mother somehow disappear. "I have our day meticulous planned out, down to the minute. We are already behind in schedule." He mother said, her voice and herself looming closer. Penelope pulled the blanket over her head. 

"Mama, it is early. Please, give me ten minutes." She groaned under the sheets. 

"It is not early. The sun is an indication of that. Now, we will break fast in the dining room, I will assist you in running the estate while Alfred is out, and then I will allow you an hour and a half of writing time. Then, you will host the next tea." Penelope shot up fast, the blanket falling from her. 

"I will do no such thing! I am not in the mood for company other than yours, mama!" Penelope whined. 

"It is already done. Now, I have informed Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury that you are in no position travel, so we will host it here. The Queen is yet to respond, but I doubt she will be in attendance. She did not respond to Lady Bridgerton's invitation last week." Portia shrugged. Penelope sighed, then three her head to the back. 

"I cannot act as if everything is alright! My husband is out in Scotland with the intention to kill his brother! I do not approve at all, and I am supposed to sit in the company of other ladies and act as if nothing is wrong? Mama!" Penelope complained. 

"Forgive me, Penelope. I was not thinking straight." Portia fidgeted with her hands and looked at them. Penelope felt bad for speaking to her mother in such a manner, so she sighed in defeat. 

"No, forgive me for raising my voice. I did not mean to." Penelope said. 

"No, it is quite alright. Your head is not in the right space to accept visitors. I will make the necessary arrangements to cancel it." Penelope shook her head. 

"No, it is fine." She was still riddled with guilt, so her guilt overtook her. "They may come." She replied.

"No, I will cancel it." Portia insisted as she stood up. "Just give me a moment."

"Mama, it is already done. I will have to see Lady Danbury and Lady Bridgerton at some point. It might as well be today." Penelope sighed. 

"Are you quite sure?"

"Yes, as long as Eloise is with so we can run off while the rest of you are talking." Penelope said. 

"Very well." Portia extended her arms out. "Now come, we have work to do." Portia said, and Penelope took her mother's hands as she was assisted out of bed. A sharp pain caught Penelope in the abdomen  as she stood up. She felt her stomach in pain for a moment. 

"Are you quite well?" Portia asked, placing a hand on her daughter's back. 

"It is normal, mama. I experience some pain, but my doctor informed me to let him know if it gets too much to bare. I am well. Do not worry." Penelope said. 

"How on earth did you manage to come and see me a week ago? Your wounds were still raw, and you were sitting in the back of a carriage?" Portia asked. 

"It was not a far ride, mama. I managed." Penelope said. Her mother help her around the room, and instead of Rae, Portia helped her get dressed for the day. Penelope liked how her mother took care of her, and the way she brushed her hair. 

"Would you like your hair up or down?" Portia asked after brushing her curls. She was dressed in a dark blue dress. Her mother's hand on her hair felt relaxing and soothing. 

"We can just leave it down, I prefer it that way." Penelope replied. 

"I think you look really beautiful with your hair cascaded like this, with your hair over your shoulders." Portia said, running her fingers through Penelope's hair. 

"She would have been absolutely beautiful." Penelope said, looking at her mother through the mirror. "I imagined she would have a strawberry blonde shade of hair, with blue eyes, since Alfred and I both have blonde eyes." She added, her mother's hand was placed on the nape of her neck. 

"I agree with you. She would have been perfect, Penelope. Just perfect. And I would imagine she would have looked just like you." Portia said. Penelope turned around in her seat and wrapped her hands around her mother. Her head rested comfortably on Portia's stomach. She did not cry, she just embraced her mother. It felt warm and inviting, and it was just what she needed to go about the day. 

_

A while later in the afternoon, Penelope stood in her drawing room with her mother gliding the around, happy to make the necessary arrangements for the tea she was about to host. One thing she might agree might never change about Portia - she was still incredibly bossy, but now in a very respectful way. 

"Do you need anything else my lady?" Mrs Clara asked. Penelope turned around, smiling at the housekeeper. 

"No, I am alright. Is my mother treating you well?" Penelope asked, one hand in her hips and the other gently placed on her stomach. 

"She is, my lady. But I must say, she is quite demanding." Mrs Clara replied. 

"That is Lady Portia Featherington, Mrs Clara. She is the most demanding woman I have ever met." Penelope laughed.

"So, you are entertaining guests. I am glad to see you slowly come out of the fee weeks you have had." 

"It will take some time to have the old me back, but one step at a time. I must inform you, my mother invited the Queen. It is a long shot, she might not even come but it is worth informing you." Penelope replied.

"She informed us as well. Perhaps you might come, perhaps she might not. I heard you are a very good acquaintance to the Queen." Mrs Clara asked, coming closer to Penelope. 

"One could say that, yes. We do unite through one common interest mostly, one that I will not discuss. But I have gotten to know her. She truly is wonderful." Penelope explained. 

"I have never been in the same room as the Queen. When she invited you for tea, that was the first time I even held an invitation from the palace!" Mrs Clara said. 

"Well, I hope she comes so you can finally be in the same proximity as her." Penelope said. 

"Anyway, I must get back to work. There is lots to do." Mrs Clara said. Just then, then footman arrived with Brimsley beside him. The footman, Jon, looked too stunned to speak. 

"Her Majesty, Queen Charlotte?" Jon said, and Penelope smiled at his statement. 

"Is that a question?" She asked, amused. 

"Forgive me, my lady. Her majesty, Queen Charlotte." Jon said, moving back to his post. Brimsley shook his head.

"Her majesty is just outside. She wanted me to let you know we have arrived." Brimsley said. 

"Thank you, Mr Brimsley." Penelope said. He bowed respectfully, then rushed outside. He was always known to be at least five paces behind Queen Charlotte. 

"She is here?" Mrs Clara asked. Penelope stood beside Mrs Clara. 

"I did think she would come. She specifically said she would host us at the palace." Penelope replied. Mrs Clara looked around the drawing room. 

"Does that chandelier look shiny enough?" 

"Do not worry, Mrs Clara. The house is perfect." Penelope smiled at her. A moment later, Queen Charlotte made her presence be known, and as she came into the drawing room, the helpers all bowed as she glided in. 

"Your majesty," Penelope said. She and Mrs Clara bowed, greeting here. 

"Lady Debling, quite the place you have here, I must say." Queen Charlotte said. 

"Thank you, but credit must be given to our housekeeper, Mrs Clara. She keeps this place looking as shiny as ever." Penelope smiled in Mrs Clara's direction. 

"It is an honour to meet you, Your Majesty." Mrs Clara said. 

"You as well, Mrs Clara." Queen Charlotte said, then made her way around their drawing room. 

"Please excuse me," Mrs Clara greeted the Queen, then Penelope and they were left by themselves. 

"Please, have a seat, your majesty." They sat around a table. 

"I wanted to call for you to the come and see me at the palace, but Lady Danbury suggested I came and see you myself." Queen Charlotte said. 

"If you called, I would have come certainly." Penelope said. 

"I know, and that is why I chose not to. You needed space to mourn your loss. And for the record, I truly am sorry for your loss. It must hurt immensely." Queen Charlotte said. 

"It certainly did, or rather it still does. But I am taking it one day at a time." Penelope sighed. 

"I would like to think we are friends now, you and I. You call on me if you need anything, Lady Debling." Queen Charlotte said, and Penelope lightly smiled. 

"You must call me Penelope, please." 

"Very well, Penelope." 

"I wish to admit something to you, your majesty." Penelope said. 

"I am listening, young lady." 

"The social season is slowly rolling in, starting with Lady Bridgerton's masquerade ball. Everyone will expect Lady Whistledown to begin writing. However, I do not think I will participate in this year's social season." Penelope confessed.

"I can see your reasoning, and I will grant you some leeway. But people will start to wonder." Queen Charlotte said. 

"I understand, yes. But I do not think I am in the right mindset to be publishing." Penelope replied. 

"I respect your decision. However will I entertain myself then?" The Queen sat back in her seat. 

"I am certain something will come up, your majesty." Penelope smiled. Then, Portia came in chatting with Violet and Agatha. 

"Your majesty!" Portia said, and all three women bowed. 

"Ladies, come." Queen Charlotte said. 

"Penelope, dearest!" Violet said. Her eyes were threatened with tears as the sight of Penelope. 

Oh, dear God! Please do not cry, Penelope!

"Lady Bridgerton." Penelope slowly stood up. Violet engulfed her in a large hug. 

"You will always have me in your corner. What you have gone through is truly heartbreaking, and I am sorry you have to suffer through that while you are only twenty." Violet said in her ear. Penelope's face started to heat up immensely. 

"Thank you," she whispered back. As they parted, Violet kissed her forehead. Lady Danbury was next. She was already on the brink of tears. 

"Penelope, it is never easy losing a child. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but just know I am here for you as well." Agatha said, and in a surprising plot, Agatha hugged her as well. Tears starting rolling down her cheek. As they parted from their embrace, Penelope wiped her tears away. 

"Thank you all so much. Rae mentioned you came by, but I was not up for callers. I do apologise." Penelope said, wiping yet another tear away. 

"That is quite alright. Eloise is upstairs in your study. She thought you might be there." Violet said. 

"I will see to her, please excuse me." Penelope said. 

"Would you like some help up the stairs?" Portia asked with a little concern. 

"That is quite alright, mama. I will manage." Penelope said, then left the room in a hurry. 

__

"Why did you offer to help her up the stairs?" Agatha asked as the ladies sat around the table. 

"She has not been able to take the stairs, and she still experiences some pain. Mrs Clara, the housekeeper has been helping her with her fear of taking the stairs. She has overcome that quite quickly." Portia said. 

"That is a shame. I do hope Lord Debling's brother is brought to justice." Violet said. "And I think Cressida Cowper should have banished even further away." 

"Lord Debling's brother?" Agatha asked. 

"He is the one who pushed her. Penelope has told me everything. The prick dishonoured Penelope not once, but twice. Lord Debling took care of his brother the first time, and now I am afraid Lord Debling only sees red when his brother is mentioned." Portia said. 

"That is very unsettling to know." Agatha replied. 

"Perhaps who should switch the topic to something more appropriate." Queen Charlotte informed them. 

_

"Eloise?" Penelope asked as she opened the door to her study. 

"Pen!" Eloise jumped up from her seat. She immediately hugged her best friend. "How are you?" Eloise asked. 

"Your mother and Lady Danbury just hugged me, and now I am a mess." Penelope said. 

"Come, sit. We must talk." Eloise said, taking her hand and they sat on the sofa. 

"What do you wish to talk about?" Penelope asked. 

"Nothing, I just figured that tea would be extremely overwhelming for you. We can sit here for as long as you want." Eloise smiled, and Penelope did as well. 

"You truly are the greatest." They both slumped back and sat for nearly 20 minutes just discussing books and Penelope's on-going writing process. 

Day Two:

It was rather dull morning. Penelope started writing letters for her husband to read when he came back home. He would know exact just how her day was and she would describe it meticulously as if he was with her the whole time. She decided to do that before bed the night before, and tonight would be no different. 

Penelope took a look at their ledgers and did some work, just as Alfred explained it to her. She was a fast learner, and the work she had to cover was really interesting and it took plenty of her time. Before hand, they had planned to through a ball to introduce their baby to the ton during the social season, and she noticed by how much their budget had increased for the ball they planned to call ER Debling Ball and if it was a boy, they planned it call it the Heir-Bling Ball, because they would have an heir to inherit the estate. 

"Heir-Bling?" Alfred turned to her, amused. "I am going to need some more context please." 

"If we have a boy and Prudence has a girl, this boy would inherit my family's and your estate. He would be the head of the Featherington family, and the future Earl. A Baron and an Earl. He would be the ultimate heir, and since our the last our last name is Debling, our ball can be called Heir-Bling. Get it?" She laughed. "Heir, because he will be the new heir, and Bling because of Debling." She laughed. 

"That is, by far, the worse idea you have ever had, but I kind of love it! And it works either way if Prudence has a boy." Alfred smiled, then placed his hand on her growing belly. 

"And if it's a girl, The Eloise Rosalind Debling Ball, or simply ER Debling Ball. I think it is perfect!" Penelope smiled as he lowered his head against her stomach, preparing to speak to their baby. 

"Your mother is a lunatic. Good luck, little one!" 

That conversation played over in her mind, and she decided that since their was no baby or an heir, they would not have to throw a ball at all, so she reduced the budget and placed the funds somewhere else. It was best. 

Managing an estate was easier than Penelope had assumed. She was certainly enjoying it. 

Later that night she had supper with her mother, her sisters, their husbands and their children. It certainly was a grand way to end the day. 

Then, she wrote a detailed letter to Alfred describing her day and once she was done, she placed them in the drawer along with the first letter she wrote. 

Day Three:

She lied to herself. Managing an entire estate had become extremely repetitive and boring. Since she lost interest, she was tied up in a mountain of paperwork she had planned to complete before she bed. Eloise had come over, and she ignored her responsibilities for a while. 

She hardly saw her mother. Her mother had become so caught up in staying she easily flowed into being the Lady of the house while she resumed her responsibilities as the Lord. It was an odd thought, indeed. She was doing her husband's job while her mother did hers. 

She ended her day with a soothing up of tea and a letter to Alfred. 

Day Four:

Nothing could have prepared her for day four without her husband, nothing at all. It was mostly shocking because she had received a visitor she did not think would come and see her at all. 

"Colin?" She asked, walking into the drawing room. 

"Pen," He stood up with a biscuit in his hand. Mrs Clara was also present. 

"Are you enjoying the biscuits?" She asked, then watched him wipe crumbs off his jacket. 

"They are quite delicious. Could your cook send the recipe to ours, perhaps?" Colin asked, and Penelope laughed as he tossed the remainder of the biscuit in his mouth. 

"I will ask her." Penelope laughed, then sat on the sofa opposite him. 

"Mrs Clara, could you arrange for tea as well please? And please inform my mother Mr Bridgerton is here. I am certain she will please to come and see him." Mrs Clara smiled. 

"Certainly, my lady." Mrs Clara left. 

"So, how are you Colin? We did not get the chance to speak when you came home." Penelope asked. 

"I am very well, and I must stay, your home is exquisite!" Colin said, looming around. 

"Thank you, Colin." She said. 

"How are you?" She wondered is she should tell the truth or lie to him. 

"In truth, I am doing better these days. My mother is here, and she has been such a great help with Alfred and Benedict in Scotland." Penelope said. 

"I can only imagine the pain and despair you went through." Colin said, and she felt a sudden urge to cry once more. She did want to be reminded. He looked a little concerned, which brought him to his feet. "Is it something I said?" He asked. 

"No, I am fine. Do not worry. Please, sit." She said, taking deep breaths. 

"I am sorry, and if you need someone to talk to, I am here. I know you have Eloise, but just know, we are still friends. You can call on me whenever, and I will come." He said, his eyes narrowing slightly to show his concern. 

"Thank you, Colin." She said. 

"You are welcome, Penelope. I simply had to come see you as well." Colin said, and suddenly, she remembered what the Queen told her a while ago. 

"Can I ask you a question, Colin?" Penelope asked. Mrs Clara came in with tea and she refilled the biscuit tray. 

"Oh, thank you!" Colin said with a pleasing smile, making Penelope smile as well. "And Penelope, yes. Ask." Mrs Clara poured the tea. 

"The Queen said something to me a while ago, I was still with child then, and she said something I do not think I believe, but then again, why would she lie to me?" Penelope questioned. Mrs Clara left them once again. 

"What is it?" 

"She told me you went to see her after I did, about the Whistledown issue. She told me you accepted Whistledown, and yet, still you left." Penelope said. He looked a little uncomfortable. 

"If I had accepted Whistledown that night in your room, do you think your life would have looked a lot different?" Colin asked. 

"I loved you, but you could not accept Whistledown. In truth, I told you so because I wanted to marry for practicality because I knew how much you despised Whistledown. You would leave me alone, but if you had told me you would marry, Whistledown and all, I do believe I would have married you." She admitted, and he picked up his teacup and took a very large sip. "So does the Queen speak the truth?" 

"She does," Colin said, placing his cup down on the tray. 

"Then why did you leave?" Penelope found herself asking. 

"Because you looked happy with your match." Colin replied. "and I did not want to ruin that happiness for you. And look, you fell in love with Lord Debling." Colin confessed. "So I made the right chose by leaving. You found your happiness." 

"You speak of my happiness, but what of yours, Colin?" Penelope asked. She noticed he took large sips when he felt uncomfortable. 

"Mine does not matter. I have my travels, that brings me happiness, even if it is temporary." Colin shrugged. 

"That is no way to live, Colin. I do hope you will find love this upcoming season." Colin scoffed. 

"That is not possible." 

"Why not?"

"Because I already love another and she cannot be mine. So, my happiness does not matter. Perhaps I might take an extended trip so my happiness may last a little longer." Penelope's heart broke for him.

"You will love again, I am certain. You swore off women after Marina, but then you fell in love again. Even if this lady did not think you were being sincere, you will love again." 

"See, that is the difference between Lady Crane and this woman we speak of. Lady Crane, I believe, was mere infatuation, or just my first love. I am not certain. I was young and I admired her beauty. This other woman, I believe she is my true love. So much so, that I chose her happiness over mine. I made the decision to let her go, because if you love something or someone, you have to let them go. Did I regret my decision, of course. But would I do it again? Yes. She got to be happy in the end." Colin said, then tossed a small piece of his biscuit in his mouth. 

"She may be happy, yes. She found someone who loves her and she loves him, but at this very moment, she is not happy. She is taking it one day at a time." Penelope said. He opened his mouth to say something, but then her mother came into the drawing room. 

"Mr Bridgerton!" She cheerfully said. Colin stood up and greeted her, and while her mother engaged in conversation with Colin and Penelope, she could feel him stare sometimes, even when her mother spoke. 

Day Five:

"Alfred comes home tomorrow." Penelope said whilst they broke fast at the table with her mother. 

"Dear, contain yourself!" Portia said with a smile. 

"I cannot, I have missed my husband. I went to bed every night thinking about his safety, and Benedict's as well. It was pure anguish I was consumed by." Penelope said. 

"My Lady, would you like us to prepare Lord Debling's favourite meal upon his arrival?" Mrs Clara asked. 

"Oh, that will be lovely! Thank you, Mrs Clara." Penelope said, then Mrs Clara left her and her mother. 

"I suppose I should start packing." Portia said with a sigh. "I quite enjoyed being here and around you." 

"You do not have to leave so soon, and you are more than welcome to come and visit, unannounced, even. You will always have a room here." Penelope smiled. 

"That is kind, my dear. But I should like some peace and quiet as well." 

"I have been quiet, mama." 

"I want a much more quiet environment then." Portia giggled. 

"Very well, mama. But please do not be a stranger." 

"I will not." 

_

Nightfall quickly fell over them, and Penelope laid in bed with hope. Her husband was coming home. She worried for his safety above all else. She prayed Benedict and Alfred were taking care of each other. 

It was late in the night, the house was quiet and her door crept open. She assumed it was her mother checking up on her, but it was strange. She did not have a candle light with her. Her mother made regular checkups to ensure Penelope was safe and asleep. She would certainly miss that the most. 

"Mama, I am well. Go back to sleep." The gust of wind that hit her face was surprisingly refreshing. She heard something drop to the fall. It was hard, like a coat. 

"Alfie? Wait, let me light a candle." 

"Wrong Debling." The voice sent a chill her shine, and she let out a loud, exhausting scream to alarm someone Patrick was in her room. It was so dark, she could not see his actions at all. Her short-lived scream was cut off by a hard blow to her face. She could tell if was his back hand. 

"You are the reason I am in this situation. I should ensured you were dead before I ran off!" He silently exclaimed, then with precision, like he could see in the dark, his hands wrapped around her neck. His fingers pressed into her skin with force. She tried hitting his hands away, but he was far too strong. He pushed her onto the bed and he straddled over her. Her mouth tried to gasp as much are as she could, since Patrick forced his hands deeper and more into her skin, cutting off her oxygen supply. Her little gags filled the room. 

"I did not have to bribe anyone this time. I used to live here, and I know all the best ways to get in and out unannounced." He confessed. Her hands tried pushing his chest, but with each moment, she became weaker and weaker. He pushed her deeper into the mattress and her entire body pounced slightly. 

This is it...

Her eyes welled with tears as her arms slumped next to her, but in a shocking twist, before her eyes fluttered close, the sound of a pistol shook her wide awake. His blood splattered on her face, all over her sheets and on her chest. His heavy, unresponsive body slumped atop of hers, his head fell on her shoulder as his grip around her neck loosened. She wheezes out, coughing to the more extreme extend. Her eyes released those tears that were stored. She coughed louder, and she cried out, even though her ears started ringing.

"Mama!" 

"I am here, my girl." She caught a glimpse of Portia by the foot of her bed, in one hand, holding a candle up and in the other, gun. Slowly, she lowered the gun and placed it on the floor. 

Penelope tried all she could to push his heavy body off her, but she was far too weak. Portia rushed over and placed the lamp on the bedside table and together, they pushed him off. She felt like she could breath. Her mother pulled her in for a hug as Penelope cried out loud into her mother's embrace. 

"It is okay, my girl!" Portia said, stroking Penelope's hair. "Let me see you." Portia held her back by her shoulders. The light of the candle showed Portia the blood on Penelope's face and night attire, and the finger marks that were slowly forming around her neck. 

"You are safe now!" Portia hugged her once one. 

Rae and Mrs Clara, and some other servants came into the room with their very own candle lights and were stunned by the situation. 

"My Lady, what happened?" Mrs Clara asked. Penelope took a sip of water from the glass next to the candle light. Portia stood up, then looked at the dead man on Penelope's bed. 

"I killed the man who had his hands wrapped around my daughter's neck. That is what happened."

Chapter Text

Day One:

The hills of Scotland were dark, yet beautiful. It certainly lived up to the hype of Eloise. Benedict found himself rather enjoying the scenery. He hoped inspiration could strike for his next painting, but alas, he was experiencing a cold case of artist's block. Nothing seemed to be working. He hoped a new country would somehow inspire him and yet, no inspiration had struck. 

After settling in, Benedict and Alfred were on the move. 

"The quicker we find Patrick, the quicker we can go home." Alfred said as they traveled through a field. 

"I agree with you. I must say, it is rather chilly." Benedict said, rubbing his arm for some extra warmth. 

"I have some extra coats if you have not packed enough." Alfred suggested. 

"I have plenty, I just do not know why I chose not to wear my thickest one today." Benedict sighed. 

"Do not worry, if we are lucky, Patrick will be here. It is one of his friend's home." Alfred said. They walked a little further and stumbled across a little cottage in the middle of nowhere. It looked quaint and cosy, with fire pudding above from the chimney. 

I bet it is warm inside!

Benedit knew they were on a mission, but the cosy environment before him pushed him a little towards excitement. How he longed to have the fire simmer against his skin. 

"We will not say long." Alfred said before knocking, then he knocked three times. Hard. The door was swung open an there revealed a woman with dark hair. She was dressed warmly and the cup of tea in her hand exuded warmth. 

"Good morning, Miss Livingston." Alfred said. 

"Alfred! It is good to see you! I was not expecting you." This mysterious Miss Livingston replied. "I heard you got married. Congratulations!" She said, then moved aside and welcomed them into her home. 

"Thank you, but this is not a social call." Alfred said. Benedict looked around the place. "Oh, forgive me. This is a very good friend of mine, Mr Benedict Bridgerton." Benedict smiled, then waved at her. 

"Pleased to meet you, Miss Livingston." Benedict said. He was immediately welcomed by the immediate warmth. 

"Likewise, Mr Bridgerton." She turned to Alfred. "How can I help you?" 

"We are looking for my brother. He has done some atrocious things, and I have come to deal with him." Alfred said, straightening his posture. 

"I have not seen him, Alfred. He did write to me a few weeks ago. He was coming to Scotland with someone, and he was looking for some place to stay. I offered him a room, he was thankful. He did not show up." Miss Livingston replied. Benedict had his arms folded. "Oh, can I offer you both some tea?" She asked with a bright smile. 

"Yes would be lovely! Thank you." Benedict quickly said in fear Alfred might say no. 

"I will get right on it. And knowing you, Alfred. You will want to look around. Please, have at it. I will prepare the tea." She said, making her way around her cottage. 

"Thank you," he said as she left, then he turned to Benedict. "You can sit by the fire. I will look around." Alfred did not wait for a response, and so he followed his instructions and say nearby. Benedict marved at the fire, truly grateful for the warmth it provided. He rubbed his icy fingers together to heat it up before Miss Livingston appeared with a cup before him. 

"Thank you, Miss Livingston." Benedict said as he reached out, and she pulled the cup back. 

"Please, call me Rita." She said. 

"Thank you, Rita." He responded with a smile, and she handed him the teacup. 

"You are welcome." A moment is silence passed him before he asked his next question. 

"So, how do you know the Deblings?" Benedict asked. 

"I used to stay in Mayfair, grew up in society, actually, and Patrick was one of my closest friends." Rita replied. 

"Why did you leave?" Benedict asked. 

"My parents passed away, and since I was an only child, my father's estate got passed on to his cousin. They banished me here, but it is there loss because I quite enjoy it here. It is far away from society and I do not much like the rules of society." Rita replied. 

"So you are related to Lord Livingston? I believe they came into their fortune five years ago." 

"Yes, he is my late father's cousin. My cousin, Miss Clara Livingston has debuted in society by now. I receive letters from her younger brother." Rita asked, taking a slip. 

"I am not familiar with her." Benedict shrugged. 

"That is good, do not fall for her. She may be beautiful, but her heart is ugly. That is no way for a woman to live." Rita replied. 

"Did you debut in society before leaving?" Benedict curiously asked. 

"I would have, last year, in fact. But I am glad I did not. I prefer this little life instead." Rita smiled. 

"I am glad." Benedict replied, then Alfred came back into the room. 

"No sign of him." He sighed. 

"As I suspected." Rita said. "Now tell me, what has your brother done this time? It was rather odd to receive a letter from him after so many years apart." Rita asked. 

"I do not wish to get into that, but please when you see him, write to me. It has been good to see you, Miss Livingston." Alfred said. 

"You as well." 

Day Two:

If was their most unproductive day by fair! Alfred had lost hope of finding his brother in Scotland after only nearly four hours of searching. His frustration were evident, and Benedict did not wish to poke his frustration by asking questions. Instead, the retired early that afternoon, and Benedict decided to pay his sister, Francesca a visit. 

"Benedict!" Francesca ran up to him and gave him a large hug. He accepted if, lifting her off her feet. How he had missed little sister.

"Sister." He said after their hug parted. "You look as beautiful as ever." Francesca smiled. 

"Thank you, and you look rather charming indeed. Now tell me, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" She asked, leading him go the sofa. 

"I am here with Lord Debling, but he is resting for the afternoon."

"Penelope's Lord Debling?" She asked. 

"Yes, we are in search of his brother. I am sure you have heard the news by now." Benedict asked, and she shook her head. "Really?" 

"No, what has happened?" 

Benedict found himself telling his sister all that has happened, excluding the Lady Whistledown part, and Francesca looked stunned. 

"Oh, our poor Penelope! Mama did mention she took a fall and lost her baby, but I was not made away she was pushed!" Francesca replied. 

"So now Alfred is looking for his brother. He is frustrated and disappointed we have not found him." 

"It has barely been two days, brother. But I am glad you have come to assist him." Francesca replied.

"Of course, he is a friend. And Penelope is ours." 

Day Three:

The morning air wash fresh and crisp, and Benedict quite enjoyed the breeze outside, having become accustomed to it. It was refreshing and tantalising against his skin. They wondered where the day night take them, since their only known Patrick source turned out to be a dead end. 

"I suppose we will just keep looking." Alfred suggested. It was a long and tiring day, and upon arrival at his hotel room, he was pleased to see a letter from Eloise. They decided to keep in constant touch with one another. 

Dear Benedict

Mama sends her warmest regards and best wishes. She misses you. Colin had jumped into his role quite comfortably, but I am afraid this power might go to his head so please come home as soonest. 

Penelope is well, you must inform Lord Debling. We had tea with the Queen, mama, her mama and Lady Danbury. It was not as bad as we expected it to be, but in some moments, she actually laughed. Did you know the Queen has a sense of honour? She is actually quite funny! And, did you also know her marriage to King George was arrange? I was shocked! She left her home to marry a stranger. That must have been scary.

Penelope also sends her best wishes. I am surprised she chose not to write to Lord Debling, but at least I know were to write to in case Penelope is in urgent need of Alfred. 

We miss you. Hyacinth does as well. She told me not to mention that to you in this letter, and I believe she is expecting a gift upon your arrival. 

Regards,

Eloise. 

He smiled as he read the letter. Eloise had become his most favourite sibling amongst them all. She was easily relatable and Benedict admired her quick thinking. 

Making his way to the bar, he found Alfred sitting perched up with his head on the counter. He firmly placed a hand on his back, jerking his friend's head up. 

"Oh, Benedict!" Alfred exclaimed. 

"Yes, it is I. Eloise wrote, she says Penelope is well." Benedict said, sitting next to him. 

"That is good to hear." Alfred nodded his head. 

"Are you well? You do not seem bottle weary, and yet, you seem exhausted." Benedict asked. 

"I feel as though," Alfred sighed. "As though I have done nothing but cause more harm to Penelope. I should have dealt with him a lot more effectively the first time he laid his hands on her. Now, he might be anywhere." 

"You have done the best you could have, Alfred. Do not be so hard on yourself." Benedict suggested. 

"Perhaps I should have listened to her. She suggested I use my resources and fund a manhunt for him. The professionals would have certainly found him by now." Alfred said. 

"Perhaps so, but he had done a great dishonour against your wife. Look at what he had taken from both of you, at what Miss Cowper has taken from you! Of course you would come to Scotland to find him yourself." Benedict told him, but Alfred did not seem to convinced. 

"I am determined to find him, but I simply do not know where else to look. I think it is best we return to London tomorrow. Penelope would be pleased, and so would your family." Alfred suggested. 

"Are you quite certain?" Benedict asked. In truth, he longed to be home with his family, but he also wanted to help a friend in need. 

"Yes, I am sure of that." He nodded, then made his way to his feet. "Get some rest, Benedict. I shall see you in the morning." Alfred said, then made his way to his room. Benedict stayed behind and had a drink. 

Day Four:

"The sea looks rough." Benedict stood on deck with Alfred beside him. 

"If is only a couple of hours until we reach England, then at least a day's ride to London." Alfred said. 

"We will only have to endure this for a few hours. That is comforting to know." Benedict said, a little nervous. The sea waves crashed against the ship with anger, and the very thought of drowning to death did not bode well with Benedict. He could not understand why people chose to travel as much as they did. 

If Colin can deal with some rough seas, so can I.

The journey ahead was long, indeed, but before they knew it, they were back in England. The portbay was buzzing with the sound of the people trying to sell fish and vendors hoping to make an extra buck. 

_

For the longest time, Alfred pushed the pain he might have endured away. The sharp feelings of stress and the fact fact that he felt like a failure. But one thing he could no longer endure the sharpness that had shot through his arm. He grabbed it firmly, and it must have captured Benedict's attention. 

"What is it?" Benedict asked. 

"It is nothing, just a little pain." Alfred shook off, then looked out the window of the carriage. The pain had vanished for a while. 

"It is truly unthinkable to know your own family could do a terrible deed." Alfred told Benedict. "And that your own wife would suffer more than you would." Benedict sat in silence, and Alfred assumed it was because he did not know what to say. "And the worst part is, I do not even know where he is. He could be anywhere. He might have never left London. I do not know, and that scares me." 

"We will be in Mayfair soon, Alfred. Then you will know that Penelope is safe. You can start that hunt." Benedict replied. He was right, they were a day away. But first, they had to stop for the night. 

Alfred's room was very comfortable, and since it was late already, he decided to go straight to bed. However, he felt compelled to send out a letter, to tell Penelope he would be home soon, to put her worrying at ease. And so, he did just that. He knew she would only receive the letter by the time he got home already, but he wanted to. He needed to. 

My Dearest Penelope 

These last few days has been torture for me. Not being by your side was not as easy as I expected it to be. I constantly yearned to have you close. You have been missed, and since I am in England at this current moment, you will see me very soon, my love. 

Benedict and I were unlucky in our search for him. We have decided to come back home because I promised you five days, so I will be home on the fifth. 

I want to acknowledge that you were right (and I am quickly beginning to understand that you always are). We should have done what you had suggested a week ago. So based off your obvious wisdom, I will produce every resource at my disposal to find him, since going to Scotland was a bust. I have someone who specialises in such expertise, and I will write to him the minute I am home. 

I truly hope you did not worry too much about my safety and Benedict's. We took good care of each other, and I might even gift our dear Benedict a gift. He did not have to come, but he wanted to. He is an honourable gentleman, indeed. 

I have made a new vow: to never leave your side and protect you at any and all costs. Never will I let my rage blind me into making such a decision again. And so, when you receive this letter (you will most likely receive it from me), I want you to know that you will never have to worry about your safety ever again, or mine. My brother will never bring such harm upon you for as long as I am alive, and even after that. You are the most precious, most beautiful soul I have ever encountered in my life, and I love your dearly, Penelope Debling. 

(I still cannot believe you chose to marry me. I pinch myself to this day. How are you even real?)

With all my love,

Alfie Debling

Alfred Debling sealed the letter and signed her name in front, and before he knew it, he was out for the night. The letter gently perched on the table. He slept that night with such ease, and all his pain vanished within seconds. However, his mind played images of Penelope all on a loop, from the day they met at Lady Danbury's ball (when he made her audibly stutter), down the the moment they shared before he left in the supply closet. All of their moments, like his life with Penelope flashed before him. 

He would die a happy man, a man who has loved a woman as intelligent and great as Penelope Anne Featherington. 

Day Five:

Knowing they were a day's ride away from home, Benedict work up optimistic. Above all else, he was the most excited to see his dear sisters, Eloise and Hyacinth. He knew his mother would smother would smother him in hugs, and although he did not always like it, he was looking forward to it. 

"Up and at it, Debling!" Benedict said as he knocked on the door of his room. "You have a wife waiting for you at home!" Benedict placed his hands on his hips and with a small smile, he shook his head. "Okay, fifteen more minutes. I am going for a walk." Benedict replied, then made his way down the hallway. He greeted the people around him and decided he would not wait for Alfred to break fast. He sat in the common room with some tea and scones, quickly ate them took a little walk. 

A gift for Hyacinth!

Benedict had completely forgotten about her gift, so he made his way around the town searching for something to give her, until he stumbled across a little jewelry shop. This place was not as grand as the places his mother and sisters got their jewelry from, but he saw a bracelet with little Hyacinth flowers as charms. It was perfect for his little sister. He purchased it and made his way back to the hotel. He went back to his room and placed the gift with his belongings, then made his way to Alfred's room once more. 

"Alfred!" He said, pounding on the door. It had been an hour since he was last knocking on the door, giving him ample time to get dressed and ready for the day. He grew concerned, so without alarming the people around him, he called upon the owner of the hotel and after some much needed persuasion (money), he unlocked Alfred's door. Benedict and the owner entered his room and found him laying in bed, still asleep. 

"Alfred, come. We must get going. It is almost 12 in the afternoon." Benedict said, shaking the man. 

"Should I call for a doctor?" The gentleman asked, and the concern in his voice made Benedict all the more concerned. He shook him vigorously, but he remained unresponsive. 

"Call for one this instant!" Benedict sternly said, and the owner ran off. Benedict panicked. He wondered what could have possibly happened, and with his panic, he begun searching around the room, until he found a letter addressed to Penelope. He picked up the letter, but before he could read it, the owner came in with an older stranger. 

"We have a doctor here!" 

"How did you manage to get here so fast?" Benedict asked, slipping the letter back on the desk. 

"I stayed the night. Now, let me see." He played his suitcase on the desk. 

"He had a sharp pain in his arm yesterday, and he had been under a lot of stress, too much for any man to bare, actually." Benedict replied, biting his nails as the doctor examined Alfred. He heard a long, deep sigh escape the doctor's lips, and he stood up slowly. Benedict did not like this act one bit. He wanted the voice in his head to tell be proved wrong. He needed that, and Penelope needed that as well. 

"I am sorry, he has passed."

Chapter Text

And so, there she sat in their drawing room after a much needed bath. It was nearly 5 in the morning, much too early for Penelope to be awake. The authorities had been called and they questioned Portia profusely. She referred them to the swelling around Penelope's neck for confirmation of why she had to do what she did. The judgement was passed - an act of self defence, but in Portia's case, defending her defenseless daughter.

Penelope knew the news would would pass around the ton quickly, so as if her mother had read her mind, she asked for the case to be handled discreetly. They agreed, but people would still talk. She imagined the news would spread as soon as they left her house. 

The body was removed from her home and sent to the coroner's office, and the servants got to work cleaning her room. They were kind enough to remove everything, even her mattress and they had ordered for a new one. The carpets were cleaned thoroughly, her clothes which were filled were blood removed from the premises. Penelope did not much like that night gown she has worn. It was one of her least flattering, so she did not mind. 

So there she sat, an hour had gone by. They had gotten a verbal statement from her, and that was the only time she voiced herself. 

"Penelope?" She looked up at her mother. 

"I am fine, just glad he is gone. I know that is a terrible things to say, but he was a terrible man." Penelope replied, coldly. Her mother day next to her after the authorities had left. 

"I am sorry to had to go through that." She had a blanket covering herself, and her neck. She became conscious of the marks he had left. 

"I am sorry you had to kill someone to protect me." Penelope said, looming at her mother once more. 

"I would do anything to protect you, Penelope." Portia said. 

"I know, and that is why I am glad you are here as well. Who knows what might have happened if you were not." Penelope said. 

"I am glad as well, and I think I might stay a little longer, if that is okay with you. I know Alfred comes home, but I am going to make sure you are alright before I leave." Portia said, and Penelope leaned her head against her mother's shoulder. 

"Thank you, mama." 

"Of course, Penelope. Now, would you like to go back to sleep? I will stay with you the entire time." Portia asked. 

"No, I am wide awake, mama." Penelope lied. She was exhausted. She merely got an hour of sleep before she was so rudely interrupted. 

"If you say so." They sat to the back on the sofa in the drawing room, and before Penelope knew it, she was out, asleep against her mother's shoulder. She felt safe. 

___

Portia sat on her seat for roughly three hours straight. It was nine in the morning and she had asked for something to do while her daughter slept on her lap. With one hand gently stroking Penelope's hair, the other held up a book. Yes, Portia Featherington was reading a book, and not just any book, it was a romance novel given to her from Penelope's study by Rae. She had gotten through at least five chapters before she was interrupted by a caller, or rather, two. 

"Portia?" Violet asked, coming in the drawing room with Eloise. They both looked utterly concerned.

"You know." Portia sighed, closing the book and closing the book and placing it on the sofa next to her. 

"We heard some people talking while we were out this morning. We came over as soon as he heard." Eloise replied. "How is she?" 

"She fell asleep after the authorities had left. She has not spoken much." 

"And how are you, Portia?" Violet asked as the two came closer. 

"I killed a man. How would you think I am?" Violet moved the book aside and held Portia's hand. 

"You did so to protect Penelope, Portia. Do not worry." Eloise kneeled before Penelope. 

"I am so worried for her." Eloise said. 

"As am I. I will never forget the look of shock on her face after I pulled the trigger." Portia said. 

"I am sorry you had to do that, Lady Featherington." Eloise said. 

"Thank you, dear. But I do not regret what I did. I would do it again if it meant protecting my daughters. But just to know I have taken a life is enough to keep me up at night." Portia replied, and then, Penelope stirred slightly. Her eyes clenched tight further. 

"Eloise." Portia heard as Penelope's eyes fluttered open. 

"Pen." Eloise said, her voice slightly broken. 

"What are you doing here?" Penelope asked, then slowly sat up. She wiped her eyes, trying to compose herself. Portia watched as she used the blanket to cover her bruised neck. 

"My mama and I came over as soon as we heard what had happened." Penelope's head jerked in Portia's direction, and she saw Lady Bridgerton as well. 

"Lady Bridgerton." She replied. 

"Penelope," Violet said. 

"I will call for some tea, oh, and I have that recipe you must give to your cook. Colin came by the other day and he asked for our cook's biscuit recipe. Let me retrieve it." Penelope got to her feet. Portia wanted to stop her, but she left in such great speed. 

"Is she just not going to talk about it?" Eloise asked, sitting where Penelope was seated. 

"It took her two weeks to open up after losing her daughter. This is yet another trauma, so we must be patient." Portia replied, then all of a sudden, Benedict came rushing into the room. He was shown in by the footman. 

"Benedict!" Eloise exclaimed, and she immediately hugged her brother. Portia could see distraught look on his face, but Eloise was too happy to see her brother to notice it. "You have been missed." She said, parting from their hug. She looked behind her brother. "Where is Lord Debling? Penelope could use his support right now." 

"There is something-" he sighed with exhaustion. "Something I must tell you all." He managed to say. Portia grew more and more concerned. 

"Well, what is it?" Violet asked as both she and Portia rose to their feet. 

"Do not make me tell Penelope, I beg of you. I do not have the heart to tell her." He shook his head, a small tear escaping his eyes. Portia feared the worst news might come out of his mouth. 

"Mr Bridgerton, what is it?" Portia asked. 

"He had a heart attack, and he did not make it." Benedict replied. Portia fell flat, back on the sofa. She exhaled so heavily, she though her throat might pop. 

Dear God, why are you putting my Penelope through so much?

She placed her hands over her face, covering her obviously saddened emotions. She felt Violet sink next to her, holding and running her back. 

"Benedict! You are home!" She could hear the joy in her daughter sounded. The sound of Penelope's voice brough tears to her eyes indefinitely. 

"Mama?" Penelope asked, and asked then sat next to her mother. Violet lowered her hand. "There is no need to cry, mama. You are fine, I am fine. Everything will be alright. Benedict is here, which means Alfred is as well." Penelope said with assurance, then Portia watched her search around the room. "Where is my husband?" She asked. 

"Penelope, I must tell you something." Portia asked. Violet stood up, and ushered her children out. 

"We will give you a minute." 

"I do not understand, what is going on?" Penelope asked, a little concerned. 

"Benedict had just informed us now that Alfred suffered from a heart attack. He did not make it, my dear." Portia said, and the small smile that has appeared disappeared from her daughter's face in an instant. 

_

"This this a cruel joke to add some humour to the situation?" Penelope stood up instantly, her veins fuming with anger. 

"Penelope, no! I would never do such a thing to you." 

"Well you must be mistaken, Benedict must be mistaken!" She quickly glided across the floor, and she found Benedict, Eloise and Violet just outside the room. There were in tears. 

"Benedict, you must be mistaken. Please tell me you are mistaken." The urgent need for an answer made him step forward quickly. She examined him for a moment. His eyes were puffed red, but he could hardly look at her. He shook his head, and she let out a deep breath. 

"I am not mistaken, Penelope." He said. She could not help the tears that flowed from her eyes. Instead, she bent slightly forehead and started crying. Deep, heavy cries. She felt a pair of arms around her, and she soon realised it was Benedict's. She cried against his chest, her hands covering her face in an instant. This was, by far, the worst amount of pain she had ever endured. The man she loved was no more. Soon after, another pair of arms snaked around them. She instantly recognised Eloise holding her head as well. 

Then out of nowhere, she felt a surge bubbling from below, a feeling she knew all too well. She broke free from their comfort and made her way to the nearest chamber pot. She ignored their cries, calling out for her. It was evident in her throat as to what might occur, and she was so glad she reach the pot on top. She released the vomit through her mouth, then cleaned the leftovers using her hand. 

Of course this is happening to me!

Penelope sat with her knees tucked underneath her bum, panting heavily with the smell of her vomit coating her nose.

After sitting for a minute in silence, she stood up and cleaned herself, her mouth, in particular. She got a glimpse of herself in the looking glass. Her eyes were red, her skin pale and her neck bruised. She gently ran her fingers over her neck. The bruise was still fresh and sensitive.

She remembered the day Alfred kissed her bruised wrist, and how his soft, gentle kiss against it made her feel better. He was not here to sooth her pain anymore. She would have to learn to lick her own wounds. 

Penelope came out of the bathroom with a dead solid look of despair on her face. She had lost her daughter and husband all in the span of a few weeks. This was the worst pain she had ever experienced. 

"Mama?" Penelope asked as she made her way back into the drawing room. All four of them stood up. 

"Yes, my dear?" 

"Will you please see to the Bridgerton's? I wish to be alone." She said, but then Benedict came forward and reach in his pocket. He took out Alfred's wedding ring and a letter with her name on it. 

"I took it off his finger. I thought you might want it, and this letter, I found it on his desk. He must have planned to send it off to you." Benedict said. She took the letter and the ring. The ring brought back memories of their wedding day, especially when she was the one who slipped it on his finger. She held it in the palm of her hand, not taking her eyes off it. Slowly, she closed the ring around her fingers, holding it tightly. The letter in her other hand was also tightly held. 

"Thank you, Benedict. Please excuse me." Penelope said, then left the drawing room. She made her way upstairs to his private chambers, since their shared room was being cleaned out. 

There, she placed the ring on the bedside table and sat on the bed. Slowly, she opened the letter. 

*

She had gone through a rollercoaster of emotions while reading the letter, simply because he planned to come home to her and yet, he was not with her. She had made plans for his arrival, he would have his favourite meal for supper and welcome him home with open arms. And now, she was alone once more in her massive home. It did not take long for her to start balling her eyes with tears, and there she sat comforting herself. Deceased child, deceased husband. She was better off being a wallflower. 

Three days later

If there was one thing Dowager Countess Lady Penelope Debling knew well, it was grief. She knew what it did to her, how it made her isolate herself from the world, but she would not succumb to that feeling once more. That feeling of isolation. In fact, she did want to be alone at all, so she took callers who came to offer their condolences, she allowed flower arrangements in her drawing room. They were so packed she could open her very own bouquet. 

"We can get rid of the flowers if you wish, my lady." Mrs Clara stood next to her as Penelope took in the view of their drawing room. 

"We can leave them for a while. These people mean well. We can throw them out when they start to wither." Penelope suggested. It had been a very difficult three days for her. In between her cries, she had to ensure her late husband's estate did not drown. For now, it was her responsibility, until the solicitor who had a scheduled meeting with her would say otherwise. 

"I must say, the late Lord did not speak much to the people of the ton, but he surely has received an expensive array of flowers from them." Mrs Clara said. 

"Yes, I suppose so. I take it we will have plenty more callers for the day. Have the cook prepare some treats." Penelope said, and Mrs Clara nodded in response. She made her way about the house, leaving Penelope to look around her flower room. It was a sight to behold, indeed. 

Alfred would have loved this. 

She immediately wanted to retract that thought from her mind, knowing very well she might cry. And so, she say down in the settee, unsure of what to do in her free time. She felt demotivated to even the slightest thing because her heart was currently shattered into more than a million pieces. 

"Penelope?" Portia came into the drawing room. "The funeral arrangements have been sorted. Do you wish to change anything?" Portia asked. 

"No, mama. We have picked out a casket already. I am certain you have planned everything else out meticulously." Penelope replied. 

"Okay." Portia replied, then sat next to her daughter. "I know this is probably a silly question, but are you alright?" Penelope could not help but shake her head. 

"I never did imagine I would become a widow at the age of twenty. I have lost a daughter and a husband. I cry every minute so I try to keep myself busy, but I also get demotivated so I just stop what I am doing and since I am not doing anything, I cry. Is this what the rest of my life will look like?" Penelope asked, a tear rolling down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. 

"No, it may not sound possible at this very moment, but it will get better." Portia said. She found that entirely hard to believe. 

"How can you say that?" Penelope softly asked. "Did it ever her better for you?" Portia sighed heavily. 

"I did not love your father, Penelope. God knows I tried to, but I could not. Perhaps I am not the person you should speak to about such matters. Lady Bridgerton, perhaps, is more equipped than I am." Portia replied, and Penelope appreciated her honesty. 

"Okay, thank you anyway, mama." Penelope replied, then their footman appeared. 

"There is a solicitor here to see you, my lady." Penelope rose to her feet, as did her mother. 

"Mr Dundas." Portia said, greeting him. 

"Lady Featherington, Lady Debling. It is unfortunate that we meet under these circumstances." He stated. 

"Yes, indeed. Please, have a seat." Penelope suggested and he did. 

"First off, The Queen addressed me regarding your estate, Lady Featherington. Your money came from a legitimate source. I am sorry for not believing you." Mr Dundas said. 

"That is quite alright, Mr Dundas." 

"Lady Debling, I am sorry for you loss. I am certain the late Lord Debling was a good man." Penelope weakly smiled. 

"He was." 

"It is a just a matter of his estate and fortune that brings me here. Since your husband and his brother have both passed-" Mr Dundas looked awkwardly at Portia and cleared his throat. "His estate will be passed on to the next eligible heir, his nephew, Vincent Tyler Debling. The title of Earl will be passed on to him. He is still a young boy, but the new Earl is expected to move into his estate with his mother and sister very soon. We have gotten in touch with some of your late husband's associates and they have given us some information on their whereabouts. They arrive in three days." Mr Dundas said. 

"Okay, thank you very much." Penelope said. 

"There is one more thing I need to mention. A Mr Colin Bridgerton has come forth with documents stating your husand has left a hefty sum for you in case of his demise. Along with an insurmountable cashflow, he has left several properties for you to look through in case you wish to move to a Dower House." Mr Dundas said, and Penelope was too stunned to even speak. "Your late husband's lawyers corroborated these statements. It was his wish to ensure you are well taken cared." 

Penelope knew he had planned a life for her after his death. They argued over his decision-making for her. Now, it felt all too real. It was really happening. 

"Thank you," Penelope stood up. 

"I will see myself out," Mr Dundas said, then greeted them once more. She could not imagine leaving Debling Manor. She loved everything about it, and all the best memories she had of Alfred were in their home. 

And so, Penelope wandered around her home aimlessly. Although it held great memories, she no longer had a reason to stay. She wanted to meet Samantha, Whitney and Vincent before she decided to take up residence in a Dower House.

Chapter Text

When Colin Bridgerton heard his best friend had become a widow, his world stopped for mere seconds. The room became small, the air was knocked from his chest. Breathing had become extremely difficult. He had to sit on the settee to regain himself. He could not understand why Penelope was going through such heartbreak, and to top it off, it was just after losing a child. She did not deserve this, not one bit of it at all. 

Penelope deserved to be marvelled at, to be worshiped, to experience every and any sort of happiness the world had to offer her. She did not deserve the life God had planned for her. 

"I should go see her, offer my condolences." Colin said, his eyes still searching the room for some sort of revelation. 

"Perhaps not now, Colin. We left because she wished to be alone." Violet said, sitting next to him. 

"Alright, but when would the acceptable time be to see her?" He asked, looking at his mother. 

"I suppose, we will not know until she decides it is time." Violet said, rubbing his back. 

"This is simply not right." Colin shook his head. "She does not deserve this." 

"Nobody deserves this kind of torture." Benedict voiced.

"Especially not Penelope," Eloise replied. "I might call on her some time in the week, Colin. You can accompany me." 

"That will be a good idea. Thank you, Eloise." 

Six Days Later

Penelope stood outside with the rest of the staff, awaiting the arrival of the new Lord Debling. The sun was refreshing against her skin. She had not felt that warm in days under the direct sunlight. 

"Perhaps you would like to wait inside, milady?" Rae asked. 

"No, I would like to welcome them to their new home with the rest of you." Penelope replied. 

"Very well." 

A carriage pulled up in their view. Penelope grew more and more nervous. She had no idea of what they might look like, but she hoped they were remarkably kind. The footman opened the door, and out stepped a woman with gorgeous brown hair. Her hair midlength, sleek and straight. Penelope easily identified her as Samantha. She truly was beautiful, and if she pleased, she would do very well on the marriage mart. She had 'diamond of the season' potential. Penelope thought of Daphne, Edwina and Francesca, and how Samantha's beauty matched theirs. Her deep brown eyes widened with shock as she looked upon the Manor, exactly Penelope's reaction upon reaching her new home on her wedding day. 

After she soothed her dress, she helped a little girl out of the carriage. Her little white dress was hemmed just above her ankles. Her hair was neatly brushed back with a light pastel pink ribbon preventing her hair from lowering in her face. She was a brunette, just like her mother. As she stepped her feet on the floor, she clung to her mother's leg. 

Then, Samantha reached out and held the little boy in her arms. He was all but two, from what she had last heard. He had no idea what was happening around them. 

The carriage took off as the three of them looked at their new surrounding. All of the servants stepped forward and greeted them, and addressed Vincent as the new Lord. Penelope stepped forward, going down the steps to formally introduce herself. Samantha seemed unphased. It made sense, a stranger was approaching her and her children. 

"Good morning," Penelope curtseyed. "You must be Samantha." Penelope smiled, and Samantha smiled in return. "and this must be Whitney." Penelope kneeled slightly to match the little girl's heigh. "Hello, I am Penelope." The girl waved. 

"Whitney, this is your Aunty. She is family, so you must greet her as much." Samantha said, and Whitney lowered her hands from her mother's leg. 

"Hello," Her voice sounded angelic, as smooth as butter. 

"It is very nice to meet you, Whitney." Penelope smiled once more. 

"Thank you," Penelope stood up straight and looked at Vincent. His head was resting on his mother's shoulder, almost in her neck, but he could still see her very well.

"This is Vincent. I named him after my father." Samantha said. 

"That is a very strong name for a boy who will have such great power someday." Penelope smiled. "Come, I will show you around." Penelope said, then she turned and they followed her. First, Penelope introduced them to the staff, each and every one of them. It would take a while for her to know all their names, but Penelope could tell she was a kind woman who would make it her mission. 

Once inside, Penelope gave Samantha a little tour of the place or rather, their new home. Portia introduced herself as well, then disappeared to continue whatever it was that she was doing. For the most part, she was quiet, until they reached the master bedroom. Penelope paused with her hand on the handle. She has not been able to go into the room since it happened. 

"Is this where it happened?" She turned to Samantha. 

"You know?" Penelope asked, a little shock. 

"I asked them to tell me everything, and they did." 

"I wanted to tell you after the tour. I just wanted to make sure you know your way around before you kick you out." Penelope assumed. 

"Why on earth would I kick you out?" Samantha asked, coming closer to her. Her children were in the drawing room with Rae and Portia. 

"Because of what happened. It is because of me you do not have a husband and your children are fatherless." Penelope said. Samantha took her hand instantly. 

"It was his own doing, Penelope. Your mother did what anyone would do to protect their child. He hurt you, and he paid the price. I do not blame you. In fact, I should be thanking your mother. My children will never know their abusive father, and I would not want them to either way." Samantha lightly smiled. Penelope quickly changed the subject from their discussion. 

"So, this is one of the two master bedrooms." She pulled her hands away from Samantha's gently. 

"It will be the master bedroom no more. I will not be sleeping in this room, neither will my children. There are plenty of other rooms we can use." Samantha replied.

"I have moved out of the second one. It has been made ready for you. I will be staying for the time being in the East wing." Penelope told her. 

"Why did you do that?" Samantha asked. 

"You are not the lady of this house. You should sleep in the master bedroom."

"From what I know about the rules of society, you married my brother-in-law, so you are the lady. He may not be here, but you are still the lady. It is only my son who is the heir, nothing more." Samantha told her. 

"But still, the master bedroom is yours. Please, I insist." Penelope said. 

"Very well." Samantha replied. "Are we quite done with this long tour?" Samantha giggled. 

"We will explore the next wing around day." Penelope said, and they both made their way to the drawing room. 

__

Samantha Debling was a very simply woman with the only fault having fallen in love with the wrong man. Penelope could tell, based off their long conversations that occured after her children had been put to bed. She was humble, opinionated (which Penelope loved), and passionate about politics. Eloise would love her! She did not understand why society had such high expectations for woman, and she feared she might fail her son because she was stepping into the unknown as an Irish woman with no lessons on propriety. Penelope told she not to worry about society, since she was going to guide her. 

"Think of it as a parting gift before I leave." Penelope said. The two women were seated in Penelope's study talking for hours about whatever may have crossed her mind. 

"Wait, do you still think I might make you leave? Penelope, no!"

"I do not think so, but I must take a Dower House. I do not wish to overstay." Penelope replied. 

"Penelope, I cannot do this without your guidance. You must stay!" Samantha replied. 

"But I will have to move out eventually. I hope you know that." Penelope informed her. 

"You do not have to. We may not be blood relatives, but our husbands were brothers. We are sisters, and I am an only child, so now that I know you and I have grown to like you, I cannot let you leave." Samantha said. 

"You think we are sisters?" Penelope asked. 

"Well, yes. I have always wanted a sister." Samantha shrugged. Penelope felt warmth in her heart, and she smiled.

"I suppose we are family, and you are my sister. So, I will stay for a while. I would like to get to know your children as well." Penelope said. 

"They are your niece and nephew. They will call your aunty." Samantha said, making Penelope smile. "I hope that is not too forward." 

"Not at all. I like would like that very much." Penelope replied. 

It had been the start of a beautiful friendship, and it slowly progressed into family. She had lost Alfred, but she had gained Samantha, Whitney and Vincent in the end. 

The next day, Penelope had hired a governess for Whitney and Samantha had been introduced to the ways of society. With each expecting rule, Penelope laughed at how Samantha reacted. 

"Milady, you have callers." Rae stepped into the room, calling Penelope aside. 

"Who is it?"

"Miss Eloise and Mr Colin Bridgerton." Penelope so desperately wanted to hug her her friend, but since their last conversation, she did not think Colin would come and see her so soon. Perhaps he was just there to offer his condolences. 

"Thank you, Rae will see to them shortly." Penelope replied, and Rae went on her way. Penelope looked at Samantha, who sat beside Whitney as she drew on her page. They were taking a few breaks from the lessons. The governess watched over Whitney like a hawk. 

"Samantha, I wish to introduce you to some of my friends." Penelope stepped forward, and she stood up. 

"You are not trying to set me up for marriage, are you? Because I am not interest." Samantha folded her arms. 

"No, of course not. They are childhood friends of mine. You will like them, I am certain." Penelope said. 

"Okay then, let us go meet then them." Samantha replied. They two of them walked off to the drawing room, where Eloise and Colin stood facing one another having a little talk. Colin looked at her first, and the way he did made her want to cry. She did not need that. Eloise turn, and immediately came rushing over. 

"Pen!" Eloise exclaimed, and she was hugged. Tightly, might she add. 

"Eloise, hello." Penelope said with a smile as she hugged her dear friend. Penelope watched over her friend's shoulder as Colin slowly approached them. Her eyes never left his for a second. 

"Are you well?" Eloise asked as they parted their hug.

"I am better these days. Colin, it is good to see you a well." She said as Eloise moved aside. 

"Now are you not supposed to call him by his last name? That is what that woman inside has told me. Rules of society." Samantha asked. 

"Sometimes we do not follow the rules of society when we are alone. Outside, I will call him Mr Bridgerton." Penelope informed him. "because he is my friend." 

"But ladies and gentlemen are not supposed to be friends." Samantha added. 

"Penelope, who is this?" Eloise asked. 

"Oh, this is Samantha, my sister-in-law." Penelope replied. 

"You are-" Eloise asked, pointing at her. 

"Yes, I am Patrick's wife." Samantha replied. 

"Oh, well I am sorry for your loss." Eloise said. 

"You are not," Samantha said, and Eloise looked at Penelope. 

"He was a terrible man. I am sorry he was married to you. You seem so lovely." Eloise quickly said. 

"Now for that, I am sorry as well." Eloise smiled, and she scooted over to Samantha. They instantly started speaking, leaving Colin alone with Penelope. 

"Pen." 

"Colin." 

"I wanted to come much sooner, but my mother said you might want some privacy." Colin said. 

"You mother was right, I had so much to deal with." Penelope replied. "But I am glad you came by." Penelope said. 

"You know I am here, if you need anything. I know this conversation is repetitive, but I truly mean it. You are my friend, and I wish to ensure you are taken cared of." Penelope lightly smiled.

"Thank you, Colin. I know I can always count on your family with support if I need it." Penelope said. 

*

"Yes, my son may be the new Lord, but I do not think I will ever become accustomed to this way of living. In Ireland, I was in control of my own life and my children. Now there are rules I must follow." Samantha said as the four of them sat by with treats around them. Eloise liked her, and she wondered how Patrick could have married a woman as smart as her and not appreciate her. 

"That is society, and that is why I will remain a spinster until my last days." Eloise replied. 

"So she says," Colin said. 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Eloise turned to be brother. 

"You just have not found anyone to love you. All of that will change the moment you meet him." Colin replied. 

"I do not think love is the problem, it is society and who they might accept." Eloise scoffed. 

"And there is the other problem, why should society accept who you marry? It is not them who is marrying the person." Samantha said and Eloise's eyes widened. 

"Exactly! Gosh, it is great to find someone who shares the same sentiment as me, exactly the same." Eloise proudly proclaimed. 

"I must say the same for you, Miss Eloise." Samantha replied. 

"You must call me Eloise, and since you are a member of the ton now, you must come to our masquerade ball at the start of the season next month." Eloise said. 

"I do not know. Penelope, will you be in attendance?" Samantha asked Penelope, who looked dazed by the question. 

"I do not think so. I am not yet ready to come back out in society. It will not be the same, but please, you must go." Penelope replied. 

"I will see how I feel close to the time." Samantha smiled. 

"So Pen, have you taken a look at the Dower Houses?" Colin asked her. 

"I have not seen the options yet. I was informed you have all the documents." Penelope said. 

"You forget the chest box at home." Eloise told her brother. 

"I did not." Colin stood up and collected a chest box from the table. Penelope had not noticed it, neither had Eloise. 

"Did Alfred give that to you?" Eloise could sense the nerves in her voice. 

"Yes, he was very strict with instructions when he left them in my care." Colin said, handing the box to her. Eloise watched as she opened it. The first thing to pulled out was a letter. It seemed unsealed, and Eloise wondered if her brother had read the letter. 

"My name is written in his handwriting on the top." Penelope said. Penelope had a look on her face, one Eloise could not really describe, but she knew it was sorrowful. Her eyes quickly narrowed, and Eloise knew Penelope well enough to know she wanted to cry, and because she would not do it infront of them, she would excuse herself soon. 

Penelope looked up at them, holding the chest box to her chest after placing the letter back inside. 

"Eloise, I do not wish to be on my own. Would you please accompany me?" Penelope asked, and Eloise found herself vigorously nodding her head. 

"Of course." Eloise stood up, as did Penelope. 

"I suppose I will check up on my children. Eloise, Mr Bridgerton, it was such a delight to meet you both." Samantha smiled. "I do hope we get to see each other again." Samantha said, then greeted before leaving. 

"Eloise, should I wait for you?" Colin asked. 

"I do not think that will be necessary, Colin." Eloise replied, and she looked at Penelope, who could only fathom looking at her feet. 

"I will send her home safely in one of our carriages. Rae can accompany her." Penelope said, her eyes still fixed on the ground. 

"Very well-" Colin stepped forward. "I shall take my leave. And Penelope?" This time, she looked up. Eloise was no longer blind. She could pick up on Colin's body language whenever he was around Penelope. The way his brows furrowed in admiration, and his eyes glossed with love. From Penelope, she could only pick up the hurt in her eyes after losing her husband. 

"Yes?" She softly asked. 

"I meant every word I said. You call on me if you are in need of anything. It does not matter how big or small the task is, I will be there." He said. He looked as if he wished to take her hand, but she responded by holding the chest box even tighter to her chest. 

"Thank you, Colin." She said, then Eloise found herself following her friend who quickly made her exit.

They walked in a different direction than her bedroom. 

"Did you change rooms?" Eloise asked. 

"Yes, I gave the master bedroom to Samantha." Penelope ahead of her. 

"That is kind of you. Although, you are still the lady of the house." Eloise reminded her. "Until her two year old chooses a wife, so you will be lady for a very long time." Penelope turned around. 

"I am a dowager lady. I am a widow." Penelope said, the hurt evident in her voice. Eloise stood silently, unsure of what to say. "Now, can we please just go to my room and read this letter?" 

"Yes, of course." 

_

After they settled comfortably on her bed, she did not mind Eloise going through the chest box one bit. She placed the letter on her pillow. 

"A Dower House in Gloucestershire? That is quite far." Eloise said. "I would have to travel to see you." Eloise looked up from the choices. "The one on Warwickshire as well!" 

"Both are nearly a day's ride away, and they both seem extremely grand. Have you read the descriptions?" Penelope asked. 

"I would go just for the library in Gloucestershire. It seems exquisite!" Eloise marveled.

"That is true, I would spend most of my time reading anyway, but this one-" Eloise handed her the next option. "This one is perfect. It is cosy, sounds comfortably and it is in Bloomsbury." Penelope said. 

"Do you not wish to stay in a house as grand as the ones in Warwickshire and Gloucestershire?" Eloise asked. 

"I just want peace, Eloise. Bloomsbury sounds perfect for me. I would be alone, and it is the nearest option to Mayfair." Penelope shrugged.

"It does sound interesting." Eloise said. 

"And I could make an even better library. I have no children, so I would not need those many extra rooms. I could have my very study, like I have here. Home does not need to be as extravagant as Debling Manor and the one in Gloucestershire or Warwickshire, it just needs to be where I feel comfortable. Bloomsbury sounds comfortably." Penelope said. 

"Then Bloomsbury, it is." Eloise said. "And you will have unlimited funds, so to say. Colin mentioned Lord Debling had left you a hefty sum as well, and you have your Whistledown funds."

"Half of my Whistledown funds will be given to my mother once she takes a Dower House. The Featherington Estate is a mess! Mr Dankworth certainly did all he could to restore it, and thankfully, he did. He may be funding her necessities, but she could use the Whistledown money for whatever she wants." Penelope replied. 

"Speaking of Whistledown, people will wonder where she might have gone." Eloise said. 

"I know, but it is for the better. I am not in the right mindset to start that up again. Someday, she might return. Just not this season." Penelope replied. 

"You have built a legacy for yourself, one in which you have the ability to make your own funds. I understand that you do not wish to write because of what you have lost, but is that not a reason for you to keep going? So not everything had changed in your life?" Eloise asked. Although she made a point, Penelope still was not entirely convinced. 

"Being Lady Whistledown takes up too much time. I would have to listen for scoops, write in the carriage on the way to the printer and then deliver it." Penelope said. 

"And it would keep you busy so you would not sit idly by and cry." Eloise said. "You must think about it, Penelope." Penelope sighed. 

"Okay, I will." Penelope turned to the letter next to her. 

"Would you like some privacy?" Eloise asked. 

"No, I called you here because I do not wish to be alone." Penelope confessed as she took the letter and opened it. 

"Okay." She began reading. 

My Dearest Penelope 

If you are reading this, I truly am sorry to have left you. There is so my much I wished for us to have together - a growing family to make our home even more comfy, and for us to grow extremely old together. You know, I imagined we would die together, so none of us would have to experience the pain of losing each other, but now you are experiencing that pain. And for that, once again, I am sorry. 

I want you to remember that you are the truest love I have ever had in my life. Meeting you was exhilarating. Lady Danbury's ball was the first time, and although my love did not strike me as quick as lightning, you were the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes upon. You looked truly magnificent in your emerald dress, and out of everyone, you were the one I was most eager to talk to. Oh, how happy I am I was brave enough to talk to you. 

Look at how far we have come. We may not have had the a long marriage, but I truly was happy by your side. I was so happy I chose not to leave you for three years to travel. It was the best decision I have been made. 

I want you to know that I am proud of you and all your accomplishments. I may not be around to tell you this, but I marvel at your success as the most illustrious author in all of Mayfair. Believe me, I was determined to make all your wished come true. 

And so, my parting words to you are as follows: never give up on that dreams. Write. Finish your novel. From what I have read, it will truly be a popular read all over the world. Step into the light and claim it. Never shy away from your identity. You are Lady Whistledown, and you are should never have to be ashamed of it. If people cannot stomach your success, I say they do not deserve to be in your presence. 

And finally, I want you to move on. You are young and beautiful. Do not reprive yourself of love. And do not worry about our Eloise. She will be loved and protected. She has her father with her now. 

I love you, Penelope. 

With all my love, from above and beyond,

Alfie Debling.

By the end of the letter, Penelope's eyes were balled with tears. Her cries filled the room with her sobs and cries, and before she knew it, Eloise was hugging her. She cried aloud in her best friend's arms. 

Chapter Text

One Month Later:

Penelope had no interest in the social season ahead. In fact, she made it evidently clear she did not want to participate since she was entering the season a widow. She wanted no part in the ton's festivities, the same people who mocked and ridiculed her, the people who once called her a spinster and someone with had such little hope of getting a husband. They were mean and unkind, and she reflected that well in her column. 

But the issue remained... Would people discover her identity if she suddenly did not write as Lady Whistledown? Would people soon put the pieces of the puzzle together? She hoped they remained daft, that no person would be brave enough to notice. 

She had spent the last month adjusting to a life without her mother by her side. Her mother chose to take up residence in a Dower House. She did not want her mother to leave, but at least she would not be alone in Debling Manor. Samantha, Whitney and Vincent were quite lovely to be around. She enjoyed their little bickering and chats, and how Vincent had trotted his little feet around the drawing with his sister's assistance. It was truly wonderous having them around. 

___

Over at Bridgerton House, the family, now full with everyone around - Daphne and Simon, Anthony and Kate, and Francesca and John, were preparing for a little social gathering in the Queen's Garden. The ladies have been presented, the Diamond had been selected. Eloise wished she could count of Penelope's attendance, but she knew it was a bust. Penelope had made her intentions clear, and she was not backing down. 

After Eloise had read Alfred last letter to Penelope, she could sense a shift in her dearest friend. His death had hit her harder after that letter. It took her almost an hour to calm down, and no amount of soothing tea had helped. She was a mess, in a state, and Eloise all but tried her best to comfort her. 

"Eloise?" Violet called her out of her Penelope-daze.

"Mama?" Eloise turned, her dress swirling by her feet as she did. 

"If you wish to go see Penelope, we can arrange for that stop to be made." Violet said, holding her daughter's hand. 

"There is no need, mama. I will see her soon." Eloise smiled. 

"At our ball tomorrow tonight?" Violet asked?

"No, she does not wish to attend. I was hoping to visit her a little later, if that is alright?" Eloise asked. 

"Yes, of course." 

They made their way to the family carriage, and Eloise could not help but wonder if she should ask for that additional stop to be made. But, she had other plans in mind. She would gather as much Intel as she could and give it to Penelope. Hopefully that would reignite her need to write. Although, Lady Whistledown would have published that very morning already, in fact, Mrs Wilson had wondered why Whistledown had not published, as did her mother, but they then came to a conclusion that she might publish the next day. 

As they stepped into the Queen's Garden, Eloise tried her best to blend into the background, behind groups and hide by servants for gossip, but it proved to be extremely challenging. She was a Bridgerton, and so many ladies came up to talk to her. Gentlemen even tried to get to know her, so her efforts were unsuccessful. 

However, she did come to realise that the ladies only spoke to her to find out what had happened between Penelope and Cressida. 

"You were friends with them both, if I am not mistaken." Clara Livingston asked. She had a particularly nasty streak to her as well. 

"Yes, I was. However, my friendship with Penelope remains intact. She is my dearest friend, after all." Eloise replied. 

"If she is your dearest friend, you must know what had happened between Penelope and Cressida." Julia Henkle asked, a new debutant. 

"Perhaps I do, but I do not wish to discuss that with any of you." Eloise rolled her eyes. 

"Then you might inform us if this is the truth. Cressida was rejected by the late Lord Debling because he favoured Penelope more, she was upset, for obvious reasons and then she seduced his brother and out of pure jealousy, she tricked him in to pushing Penelope down the stairs, making her lose her child." Miss Cho asked. 

"Really? I heard Cressida convinced the brother Penelope was carrying the heir and so they planned to push her down the stairs so he could someday claim the title and estate." Miss Gina suggested. 

"That is not what I heard-"

"It does not matter what you have heard or what you think you know. I will not let you speak about my friend and her misfortunes. Penelope has been through more than your feeble minds could fathom! So I suggested you keep her name, and she is Lady Debling to you all, out of your mouth!" Eloise exclaimed, drawing some attention outside the circle, then she marched off to her family. 

"Everything alright?" Kate asked, holding her son in her arms. It was unusual to bring children to these gatherings, but Kate did not seem to care. Edmund was all of five months old and the light of his parents' life. 

"No, these women keep talking as if they know Penelope and her struggles! I am frustrated." Eloise replied. 

"I do hope you have defended your friend since she is it here to do it herself." Kate asked. 

"Of course I did. And the lies they speak!" Eloise answered. 

"They do not matter, sister. You just do not need to entertain their theories as well." Kate said, rocking the boy in her arms. 

"I do believe that is all I have been asked. I am ignoring very single man who comes my way, and when I think I might have a decent conversation with the ladies, they just want to know what has happened to Penelope." Eloise crossed her arms. 

"Now sister, what has gotten into you?" Daphne asked with Francesca by her side. 

"I just wish to go home." Eloise said. 

"Are these ladies asking you questions of Penelope as well?" Francesca asked. 

"Yes!" Eloise exclaimed. 

"I do not know why they think I know. I merely know what Benedict had informed me when he came to Scotland." Francesca shrugged. 

"At least you had time to process all of that. I found out last night upon our arrival from India." Kate said. 

"And that is why I am glad mama suggested we all show our support towards Penelope tonight." Daphne smiled as Eloise looked confused. 

"What is happening tonight?" 

"You were not supposed to mention that in front of Eloise!" Francesca said. 

"My apologies, I thought you knew!" Daphne defended. 

"Your mother wanted it be a surprise for both Eloise and Penelope." Kate added. 

"What is going on, exactly?" Eloise asked. 

"Mama had made plans for us all to have supper with Penelope tonight. Her family will be invited too, at Debling Manor. Mrs Wilson already spoke to her housekeeper. They are preparing a fest." Daphne said. 

"That is bloody brilliant!" Eloise smiled. "I simply cannot wait!" Eloise smiled. 

__

Later that day, Eloise looked through her many dresses on what she wished to wear. She was merely excited to be in her best friend's presence once more. She hoped Penelope would see what she truly meant to the Bridgerton's through this act. 

"You seem rather chipper. Does it have anything to do with what mother has planned?" Colin said, coming into her room. "Daphne mentioned she accidentally told you."

"Well, of course! I hope she will be as excited as I am." Eloise smiled.

"As we all are, Eloise. She is not just your friend alone." Colin said, leaning against the doorframe. Eloise turned to him with a sulk. 

"You cannot do that anymore." She warned. 

"Do what?"

"Look at her with those large blue eyes." 

"How else am I to look at her? Through my nostrils?" Colin asked. 

"You know what I mean. She is a grieving widow. She will not be able to handle your intense stares and puppy dog eyes." Eloise replied. 

"I do not-"

"Yes, you do. I saw it the last time we were there. You will confuse her." 

"It is not my intention to confuse her." Colin replied. She could sense the honesty in his voice. 

"Very well then. Now go, I have things to do." Eloise shooed him off. 

__

"Rae?" Penelope called out in the empty halls of her home. 

"Yes, milady?" Rae's head popped up out of nowhere. 

"Why exactly do you have that light blue dress laid out on my bed? I have not made any plans this evening." Penelope questioned as they stood outside her bedroom door. 

"No, you have not. Plans have been made for you." Rae smiled. 

"I do not accept." Penelope shook her head. 

"We are not backing out now, milady. They have already been accepted." Rae said. 

"Well, unaccept them. I am not in the mood. I have other things I must do." Penelope firmly said. 

"Like what? Hide out in your study?" Rae asked. 

"No, first I plan to read Whitney a bedtime story. She likes it when I do because I make the silly voices, and then I will go hide out in my study." Penelope had finished yet another chapter in her novel, and she was eager to see where she might go with her love story next. 

"I promise you, you will enjoy yourself. Everything will take place here." 

"You mean to say I will not need to leave the house? Well, why did you not lead with that? Now I can slip away whenever I please." Penelope said. 

"Forgive me, milady." Rae replied. 

"Do you truly need to be so formal all the time? I did in fact mention that I am Penelope when we are alone." Penelope said. 

"It takes some time getting used to it, I suppose. Penelope." 

"There, that is better." Penelope smiled at her. 

"Now, what did you have planned for my hair?" Penelope asked as the two of them made their way into her room. 

"Well, I know how much you like it being down, but what if we did something similar when you were invited to the library opening last season?" Penelope asked. 

"If it pleases you, by all means, go ahead." 

_

Penelope looked at herself in the looking glass, seeing an actual person for the first time in months. 

"You look beautiful, Penelope!" Penelope turned to the door behind Samantha dressed up as well. 

"So do you. Now tell me, do you have the slightest idea of what might be happening tonight?"

"They did not inform you?" Samantha asked, coming closer to her. 

"No, Rae would not mention a word. By the way, do you like your ladymaid?" Penelope asked. She had gone through a process of finding one just for Samantha, and a caretaker for her children in case she needed one. 

"You found me an Irish ladymaid! She is simply the best! She understands my jokes and she makes me feel at home. Hearing another person with my accent in this parts of England makes me feel at home." 

"Well, if you wanted an Irish accent-" Penelope started off, giving her Lady Whistledown's maid Irish impression. Samantha looked shocked. 

"Woah, that was incredible! I did not know you could speak in an Irish accent!" Samantha said. 

"I did not either, until I tried." Penelope shrugged. 

"Well, Nicola is amazing. Thank you." Samantha hugged her. 

"You are welcome. And Louisa? I hope she is treating Whitney Vincent well." 

"Whitney loves her, and Vincent is still getting used to her."

"That is good. Now, tell me about tonight."

"Oh, Mrs Clara said the Bridgerton's are coming for supper along with a Lady Dambert, or something like that?" She liked confused. 

"Lady Danbury?" Penelope asked.

"Yes, that one! Lady Danbury. And your family is coming as well." Samantha said. 

"That is wonderful!" Penelope smiled. "I have not seem many of them in ages!" 

"I cannot wait to meet them all. You are always speaking so highly of them." Samantha said. 

"You will like them. They are nothing like the rest of the people in this ton." 

"I am merely excited to have an intellectual conversation with Eloise once more." Samantha confessed. 

"That is good. I am glad you and my best friend are getting along nicely." Penelope smiled, then took her hand. "Now come, we will need to greet out guests upon their arrival." 

_

It took Colin Bridgerton all but a second to look at Penelope and question his state of mind. Her beauty was totally uncalled for as she dressed in a colour matching her eyes. Her hair was fiery and done in such a pretty, delicate style. But, he had promised Eloise not to confuse her, so he approached as her just a friend.

"Mr Bridgerton," She curtseyed. An amusing look stuck him. 

"Lady Debling, it is an honour to be here." Their formalities always amused him since they were simply Colin and Pen. 

"I am quite surprised to see you all here, indeed. I was informed very late of this gathering and my ladymaid Rae had forced me into a dress." Penelope said as his family hovered around. 

"We simply had to come. I know Anthony and I were not present, but we are now. You have our deepest condolences and our unconditional support, Lady Debling." Kate said, taking Penelope's hands into hers. 

"Thank you, Lady Bridgerton."

"We will have none of that, I am Kate to you." Kate smiled. 

"Very well, then you must address me as Penelope." Kate said, then hugged her. Colin could not help but notice a small smile form as she hugged Kate. He in turn, smiled. 

"You are doing it!" Eloise harshly whispered at him. He suddenly shook his head to shake the love eyes away. He watched as his entire family greeted her, and she introduced them to Samantha as well. 

_

At the dining table, her mother had captured a seat right next to her. Penelope was glad to be in close proximity of her mother once more. 

"If this is all go much for you, you must say." Portia whispered. 

"Mama, this is perfect. I did not know how much I needed it just until now." Penelope replied. 

"Well, I am glad."

"How are things at the new house? Did you receive that extra income?" Penelope whispered. 

"I have, and you are too kind! You certainly did not have to do that, Penelope." Portia said. 

"You are my mother, of course I had to." Penelope replied, and Portia leaned in and kissed her daughter's temple. 

"We are sorry to disturb whatever lovely moment had just occured but Penelope, you must ask your chef for the recipe to this lamb that is so deliciously prepared!" Violet said. 

"Yes, I quite agree. This is the best I have been had." Anthony said. 

"And the potoates are quite soft as well, and somehow crispy. Have I mentioned how much I love potatoes?" Eloise added. 

"Our cook has only recently started experimenting with meat recipes. For the longest time, she had only prepared vegetables, but since I have been married to Alfred, she simply loves-" she cut herself off mid sentence. She spoke as if he was still alive, as if he was still able to hold her at night, to kiss her, to say words of love and affection. 

"Penelope?" Samantha asked as Penelope looked at her lap, but then she shook that feeling away, that need to cry. 

"I was saying, since I have been here, she had only then started to make meals to accommodate my meat-eating diet." Penelope replied, less enthusiac than when she started her initial sentence. 

"I am sorry if it brought back memories. It was not my intention." Violet said, and Penelope smiled. 

"No, you do not need to apologise. But yes, I will ask her to get in contact with your cook, since she so gladly offered her recipe to another Bridgerton who had asked for her cinnamon biscuit recipe." Penelope said. 

"Your cook gave that recipe?" Gregory asked. "Oh, they were delicious!" 

"Let me guess, Colin asked for the recipe?" Francesca asked.

"However did you guess that so accurately?" Penelope smiled in Colin's direction, who seemed to preoccupied with his meal to even care. 

"I heard my name, and I do not care. This meal is delicious!" Colin said, looking up from his plate.

"Colin, you have food on your chin. My five month old son eats better than you!" Anthony scolded. 

"We shall see how he eats when he tries this lamb. Eloise, have talk tried the potoates?" Colin said, looking at his sister. Suddenly, they all broke out in uncontrollable laughter.

"Is is always like that?" Lady Danbury asked, amused. 

"Unfortunately, yes." Violet sighed. 

"Mrs Clara informed me out cook prepared some mince pies as well. I hope you are saving some space for them, Colin. I know Prudence and Phillippa will be because they love a good mince pie." Penelope looked over at her sisters.

"That is true. And Penelope's cook prepares them so well!" Prudence replied. 

"I could eat here every night. She truly is the best." Philippa added. 

"Well, of she is that good we might have to poach her." Simon chimed in. 

"I think you are right." Daphne teased.

"There will be no poaching. She loves it here." Penelope quickly said. 

"Does she maybe know anyone who cooks as good as her? Maybe an apprentice she has or something?" Benedict asked. 

"I do not think she has an apprentice, but I know she learned most of her recipes from her mother." Penelope said. 

"Can I hire her mother then?" Colin asked with a mouth full of food. 

"Dear God, Colin! Do not speak with food in your mouth!" Hyacinth scold. 

"Anthony you might be wrong, Edmund is a sloppy eater when wants to be. Perhaps he gets it from his uncle, Colin." Kate replied. 

"He is not a sloppy eater!" Anthony protested.

"He messed his food on my pants just this morning, did I mention?" John said. 

"I do not believe that was my son. Perhaps it was Augie?" Anthony defended. 

"Certainly not!" Daphne replied. 

"Wait, Colin. Why do you wish to hire a cook?" Francesca asked. Penelope watched him chew, then swallow his food. 

"I have been looking at properties in Bloomsbury. I cannot stay at the family home forever, you know?" He replied, and Penelope's eyes widened. 

"Bloomsbury?" She asked. 

"Uh, yes. I have grown to love just how comfortable the houses are there." 

"That is rather interesting." Eloise smirked at her brother. 

"Why?" Benedict asked. 

"No reason." Eloise shrugged, and Penelope shook her head.

"I have been looking at Dower Houses, and Bloomsbury peaked my interest as well. Of course, I do not intend to leave just yet, but when the times comes, I believe Bloomsbury is where I might settle." Penelope said. 

"That is... interesting to know." Colin loudly swallowed. 

"It is just... you had his chest box. Surely you must have seen it was an option for me." Penelope quickly asked. 

"Yes, it was in my possession, and in truth, that is what lead me to look in Bloomsbury. Warwickshire and Gloucestershire was also available for you. You did not like it?" Colin asked. 

"That is so far away!" Eloise exclaimed. 

"That is true, but the houses there are remarkably grand." Lady Danbury added. 

"I do not wish to travel for a day to see my best friend. And she likes Bloomsbury. Perhaps you should elsewhere then." Eloise said, and Penelope picked up a tinge of jealousy in her voice, or perhaps she was overthinking. 

"Why can we not both not stay in Bloomsbury?" Colin asked. Penelope looked around the table. Everyone seemed rather uncomfortable at the topic at hand. She was not overthinking things if everyone looked as confused and uncomfortable as she did.

"Nevermind, Colin. These potatoes are wonderful!" Eloise said, shoving one in her mouth. 

"Colin?" Penelope asked.

"Yes?"

"Did you go through the entire box?" Penelope asked. For the moment, she was not sure if she was okay that he might have read the letter or not.

"I may have, yes." Colin replied. 

"So you have seen that he wrote a letter to me, have you?" Penelope asked. She could sense how uncomfortable he was getting. 

"I may have, yes."

"You may have, or you did?" Penelope sternly asked. 

"Yes, I saw he did." Colin replied. 

"I do not understand why he chose to leave it in your care." Penelope shook her head.

"In all honesty, he left it in my care but since I chose to leave to Scotland with him, Colin was the next best choice." Benedict quickly said. 

"He knew everything, and he left it with you, and since you knew about the letter tell me, did you read it?" She asked. Her icy gaze stared a whole into his head. He sat right opposite her. 

"Well, did you?" Eloise asked as he looked around the table for some sort of answer. 

"Yes." She silently exclaimed, and Penelope shook her head in disbelief. 

"You had no right to read that. It was addressed to me. He wrote those words to me!" 

"I am certain you let Eloise read it." He said, trying to defend himself. 

"I do not hold you in the same standard as I do Eloise! Colin, how could you?" She asked, her voice slightly raised. 

"Now, let us all take a breather-" Portia tried to sooth the situation. 

"I am certain Mr Bridgerton did not know what he was doing." Prudence said. 

"He is a grown man who read a letter not addressed to him! He knew exactly what he was doing!" Penelope lifted the napkin from her lap and placed it on the table. 

"You had no-" her voice broke slightly, pushing back tears. "right to read his last words addressed to me." 

"Pen, I did not mean to, I am sorry!" She stood up, as did he but Eloise held his arm down. Before she could excuse herself from the table, the footman arrived with a pamphlet.

"Forgive me for the intrusion, but Whistledown is here." Her head quickly jerked to the footman she knew as Bernard. 

"What?" She asked, stunned. 

"At this hour?" Lady Danbury asked. 

"The delivery boy said it arrived late, so that is why it had come now. She is not charging this issue, but the next one will be charged." Bernard handed her the issue. She faced them all as she felt the paper. 

This feels cheap, and the colour of the paper is a tone darker than mine. 

After her examination, she read the words written on the sheet before her. The lies this impersonator wrote was enough to make her fuel with much more anger, but at the mention of his name, she softened. Even wanted to cry. She let out an unbelievable gasp as a tear slipped from her eye. She violently wiped it away, then handed the sheet to Eloise, who she did not even realise was next to her. 

"Forgive me, but I must exclude myself from these festivities. Stay for dessert. Excuse me." She left the room in a hurry, wishing the earth would swallow her whole. What she had read was vicious and biting, and she did not have the courage to fight the new mysterious Lady Whistledown. 

Chapter Text

"Well, Eloise! What does it say?" Daphne asked as Eloise glanced that the pamphlet. The words she read were biting and cruel. And so, she cleared her throat to read it aloud:

Dearest Gentle Reader...

While I may have been out by the countryside during the off-season, I must admit, I am still very much aware of what is happening in Mayfair. Let us talk about Lady Debling, for instance:

She walked into last season looking for a husband and now this season, she is suddenly widowed. Perhaps she is doing more than spiking the late Lord Debling tea with unknown heart stopping herbs in a greedy attempt to snatch his fortune. But alas, her plan has failed as a new heir was brought into the Debling home. 

How did this wallflower snatch one of the wealthiest men in Mayfair? Well I certainly have the inside scoop for you! It seems the dowager countess may have entrapped her late husband into marriage, which untimely lead her to becoming with child! We cannot allow Lady Debling to take all the blame, now can we? It is common knowledge that the late Lord Debling's brother, Mr Patrick Debling is responsible for the death of their bastard child, but we should all really be putting the microscope over Lady Featherington, since we all know it was her who pulled the trigger against the heir to the estate after Lord Debling's demise, his brother, Mr Debling. 

Perhaps they are a duo of killers. The apple certainly does not fall far from the tree. 

"The lies she writes!" Violet exclaimed!

"Lady Whistledown has truly done it this time." Francesca said. 

"She once said she does not publish lies, clearly she must have her head examined because those a outright lies!" Daphne said. 

"Oh, poor Penelope!" Kate sighed. 

"Excuse me all, I must see to Penelope." Eloise watched as Portia stood up, her face blasted white with shock. She left in a hurry, leaving Eloise purplexed to say the least. 

"She has gone too far this time. We are no longer providing that writer with a cent of our money. We will not be purchasing any of her latest issues, am I clear?" Anthony strictly said, and everyone nodded in agreement. 

"This is a false Lady Whistledown." Eloise quickly vocied. 

"What?" Hyacinth asked.

"The real Lady Whistledown does not refer to herself in personal pronouns. She uses this author specifically. I have tons of issues to prove that!" Eloise defended. And she knew there was no way Penelope could have published this. She said she would not be publishing this season at all. 

"Eloise I do not care! You will not be purchasing any more copies, am I clear?" Anthony sternly asked.

"Yes, brother." Eloise said, defeated. 

"What can we do to try and remedy this situation?" Kate asked.

"Lady Whistledown's damage is too deep. I am afraid we will have to see as we go along." Anthony replied. 

"I suppose the Queen will be happy to see Whistledown had returned." Violet turned to Agatha. 

"The Queen has grown rather fond of our dear Penelope. I am certain she will want the person responsible for this issue's head on a swivel stick." Agatha replied, and Eloise paid close attention to her wording. She did not mention Lady Whistledown. Did she know?

"You mean Lady Whistledown?" Simon asked. 

"I said what I said." Agatha strictly replied. 

"Please do not tell me you believe this is a false Lady Whistledown as well?" Daphne asked. 

"I said what I said." Agatha said once more. Of course she knew. She is Lady Danbury after all. 

"Benedict, Colin. You have both been very quiet upon the matter." Anthony said, then looked at Colin. 

"We are simply at a loss for words, brother." Benedict said. 

"Yes, truly." Colin replied. 

"It is heinous what she has written. The sooner people realise that they are just funding her antics, the better. I believe we have made the right choice by not purchasing any more sheets, brother." Daphne said. 

"And Colin, what were you thinking going through Penelope's personal belonging?" Anthony scold. 

"Perhaps we should give you all some privacy." Philippa stood up, her husband followed. As did Prudence and her husband. They sat in silence as the four of them departed. Samantha left as well. 

"I did not mean to, brother! It just happened." Colin replied.

"And tell me this, those feelings you once had for Penelope, are they still there? Is that why you are looking at property in Bloomsbury?" Anthony asked. 

"Anthony, perhaps now is not the best time for this discussion." Violet urged. 

"Now is the perfect time." Anthony replied. "So tell me, brother. Are they still there?" 

"I do not wish to discuss this, mother is right." Colin said. 

"You will answer my question." Anthony's eyes widened. 

"Or, you could leave Colin alone, brother." Eloise said. She did not know why she spoke up, but she knew she did not want Anthony scolding him for simply loving Penelope. 

"So you know as well. He does still love her. Is that why you wish to move to Bloomsbury? To be close to her?" Anthony asked.

"I will not stand for this. I will apologise to Penelope then take my leave." Colin stood up. 

"You must watch yourself. Not only is she a widow but she is grieving. I will not let you come here and try to confuse her with your foolishness. You want to leave, fine. But you will not see her." Anthony stood up as well. 

"Anthony-" Violet said, but she was quickly cut off. 

"He oversteps! She is vulnerable at this very moment and since we have known her since she was a child, I will act with honour and protect her, as I would my own sisters!" Anthony exclaimed. 

"You know nothing you speak of, brother. I am only a friend to Penelope. That is all she will ever see me as. I genuinely did not think she would to reside in Bloomsbury, and as for the letter, it was not my intention to read it. I could never do anything to harm her and I feel so terrible for making her feel as she does but I love-" He cut himself off, and Eloise stood up as well. 

"Perhaps I should accompany Colin home." 

"That is a good idea. Reflect on your actions, brother. Come and see me when you are ready to talk." Anthony said. Eloise could tell Colin was annoyed, and so she pushed Colin pulled Colin's arm. 

"I will see Penelope before I leave." Eloise replied. 

"Very well, I suppose us ladies should see if she is alright before we leave as well." Kate suggested. They all made their way out of the drawing room. 

"This was supposed to cheer Penelope up. How did it end like this?" Eloise asked with a sigh. 

"Two words - Lady Whistledown." Daphne said. 

Up in her room, Penelope laid on her bed staring at the ceiling. She had been embarrassed by Whistledown. 

Is this what others feel when I write about them?

When Penelope wrote of herself in Whistledown, she knew what it was and now she phrased it. Now, a mysterious Whistledown was writing utter lies about her in her very own column under her secret name. As much as she wanted to cry, she was fuel with anger, like she needed to retaliate somehow. She was filled with revenge on someone she did not know. Perhaps that is also how the ton felt about her. 

Then, her mother came into the room looking extremely worried. 

"Penelope, please tell me you did not write that." Was that even something her mother would ask her? Had she really been that vicious with her words in the past so much so that her own mother had to ask such a question? In response, she started laughing. Long, cheerful laughs. She did not want to cry, but she had all of these pent up emotions she had to released somehow. And so, she started laughing. 

She must have looked like an utter mad woman before her mother. Portia looked confused as she sat by Penelope. In a felt swoop, Portia pulled Penelope up by her arms and held her shoulders. 

"That truly blindsided me." Penelope laughed once more. "I cannot believe someone actually wrote such lies." Penelope laughed. Portia watched on in shock, but when the laughter died, Penelope looked up at her mother. 

"Do you truly think I could write such words?" Penelope asked. 

"Lady Whistledown has never had a nice thing to say about you." Portia reminded her. 

"But I always publish the truth." Penelope quickly said. 

"That is true. So you did not?" Portia asked for confirmation. 

"Of course not, mama! Someone is clearly impersonating me." 

"What will you do?" Portia asked, and Penelope shrugged. 

"I do not have the strength for a fight. Perhaps I will let this impersonator take control. I do not know." Penelope replied. 

"You cannot do that. Have you seen what was written? You and I were called killer. You were accused of killing your husband and I, accused of killing his brother so you can get all his estate." Portia replied. 

"I do not care, mama. We know the truth." Penelope nonchalantly said. 

"I care, Penelope! I will not tell this scandalous writer speak such ill words! You must fight it. Gather that strength from somewhere!" Portia scolded. 

"Your mother is right, Penelope." At the door stood all the Bridgerton women and Lady Danbury. They stepped into her room. "You must do something about it." Lady Danbury said. 

"What can I do? I have no strength to fight this. I just think I would like to stay hidden from the ton forever. Eventually they will forget the lies that were publish." Penelope said. 

"I strongly disagree. I think you must come out and show them that Whistledown is just a gossip hag." Francesca said. 

"Francesca!" Violet scolded. 

"What, mama! It is the truth." 

Penelope was not sure of she liked hearing them speak about Lady Whistledown in such a manner, but she convinced herself it was simply the person who wrote that issue they were talking about. 

"Start with the ball we are hosting tomorrow. We will be by your side for whatever it is your choose to do or say." Kate suggested. 

"I will need to think about it." Penelope replied. 

"I will see you tomorrow morning, Pen. Up and early." Eloise smiled at her.

"I will be waiting," Penelope shrugged, unsure as to what else she could say. "Wait, do not let that issue get in the way of dessert. Our cook has prepared something really delicious." Penelope said. 

"I am afraid we must get going to allow you your rest as well." Violet said, then they all came to hug her. For a moment, Penelope forgot about the troubles she was facing, so when they left, she laid awake in agony. She wondered what other obstacles she might face before she could be happy again. And so, she prepared for the worst. 

In Buckingham Palace, the morning after the issue had been publish, Queen Charlotte paced the room. She had her copy of Whistledown in her hand. All she could wonder was why Penelope had chose to write such words about herself, such lies. The thought bothered her quite a bit, but when she stopped in her tracks and read it once more, she realised certain unfamiliar aspects. 

1. Lady Whistledown would never give her whereabouts whatsoever. 
2. Her issues are never solely focused on one person.
3. She does not refer to herself using personal pronouns.
4. She does not write lies. 

"Someone inexperienced is impersonating Lady Whistledown." Queen Charlotte said aloud. 

"It seems you are correct, your majesty." Queen Charlotte heard, then her cane made a large impact on the floor, thumping harshly. 

"You have picked up on the errors as well?" 

"Yes, and I was present when Lady Debling read the issue for the first time. I watched the colour drain from her face." Lady Danbury said, placing both her hands on her cane.

"Was there a ball I was not invited to or something?" Charlotte asked, confused.

"Just a simple dinner by Lady Debling's under Lady Bridgerton's invitation. Violet just wanted her to know that the Bridgerton's are always going to be there to support her." Lady Danbury replied. 

"That is nice. So, did Penelope say anything else about this issue?"

"She left the room after she read it, and then we tried to convince her she must fight it. Miss Eloise was also quick to pick up on the mistakes in the issue."

"Is she going to publish?" 

"She does not want to. She says she is going to let this false Lady Whistledown continue to spew whatever nonsense she pleases." Lady Danbury sighed.

"She must be convinced! Is this false Lady Whistledown can write such lies about Penelope, imagine what she can write about the rest of the people in this ton. Whistledown is power, and now this power is being placed into the wrong hands." 

"She has struck again. Last night's addition was just a warm up." Lady Danbury said, and Queen Charlotte's eyebrows perched. 

"Oh? Who has she written about now?" 

"The Bridgerton's." Lady Danbury said. She looked at the entrance behind Lady Danbury.

"Brimsley!" Queen Charlotte exclaimed, then he came marching in. 

"Yes, your majesty?" 

"Bring me the new Whistledown at once." Brimsley ran off and returned almost instantly. She handed the issue to her as she placed her old one in Lady Danbury's hands. 

Dearest Gentle Reader...

If you thought the last issue was scandalous, guess again. As a member of the ton, you must know I write to you from one of the most reputable houses in Mayfair, but what if I were to tell you happens behind the closed doors of Bridgerton House?

It is said that Lady Violet Bridgerton praises love matches above all else, but that certainly does not explain why two of her married children had rather rushed engagements, and one of her son's had a called off engagement. Perhaps her children confuses lust and love. 

And then there is the fact that there are so many Bridgerton children. Has anyone ever wondered why? I certainly have. Perhaps because a few of them may be of dubious parentage!

"She is bold!" Queen Charlotte said, and Lady Danbury looked at her feet. 

"Read on, your majesty." Quickly, Queen Charlotte read through the column. 

Of course, this issue is merely just to talk about what I have learned about the Bridgertons, but it would not be scandalous if I had not included the Queen in some sense. 

This author has learned that the esteemed Queen of England, Queen Charlotte seemed highly demotivated, once again, with this year's debuting ladies. One can only assume that she has no interest in picking a diamond if that name does not end in Bridgerton, or is associated to that name. But alas, Miss Georgina Harris is the diamond of the season without any affliction with a Bridgerton. Perhaps I must mention that the large hair pieces the Queen chooses to wear certainly plays a part in her selection. The bigger they are, the less she is able to use her brain. 

"The true Lady Whistledown was never this outright and cunning! I will have this false Lady Whistledown's identity in my hands by the end of the week!" Queen Charlotte exclaimed, furiously. 

"And bring me Lady Debling at once!" 

__

Penelope received the correspondence with great urgency, so when she stood before the Queen, she did not know what to expect, but she knew it was regarding the latest Whistledown issues.

"Penelope. I heard you do not wish to counter this attack on your reputation." Queen Charlotte asked, sitting on her throne. 

"I know the truth. I do not care about what this person writes." Penelope replied. 

"Hurts, does it not? Not being able to control what comes out. Now I am familiar that the person writes lies, but I am sure you now have a taste of what you deliver to the ton." She raised her eyebrows. 

"Yes, I am aware. It it a bitter taste." Penelope said. 

"Now I know you have been through quite a lot of hardship, but I cannot let you sit back and let this false Lady Whistledown slander you like that, slander the Bridgertons, slander me!" She exclaimed. Her voice alarmed Penelope a bit. 

"I do not know what game this person is playing, but I do not want any part of it. I will retire back home and sit the social season out. They will soon forget what was written in that column." Penelope said. 

"That is not enough. Her words are cunning and conniving. You must attend the masquerade ball tonight and deliver an issue tomorrow." Penelope sighed heavily. 

"I do not wish to-" 

"That is an order, Lady Debling! You will attend, and you will amend this situation at once! Do what you must, but I will not have a rouge writer spewing such lies around!" Penelope nodded in defeated. 

"Of course, your majesty." She replied, defeated. "Am I free to leave?" 

"Yes," At the Queen's response, Penelope curtseyed, and before she could turn to leave, the Queen's voice stopped her once more. "Penelope?" She looked up 

"Yes, your majesty?"

"I am truly sorry, I hope you know." Queen Charlotte said. 

"I know, your majesty."

Chapter Text

Sometimes Colin Bridgerton wished for simplicity, and that was something he was not given. The only time he found solice was when he was out traveling the world. Although his tours made him feel lonely, he quite liked the fact that he got to travel the world. He was fortunate in that sense. 

However, the simplicity was never around. Complications always arose with him. He fell in love with Marina Thompson, who tried to trap him in a marriage with babies who were not his, he fell in love with his best friend, who fell on love with another man and married him instead. And so, he wanted simplicity. That was all he craved. 

As he read through some of his travel journeys, longing to be out sailing on the Mediterranean seas, he could not help but wonder where he might venture to next for some simplicity. 

Anthony was mad at him, and so was Penelope. Truthfully, they both made some compelling points, and he saw both their reasonings. Perhaps he was at fault and deserved the brunt of their ire. 

"Can I come in?" A head poked by the open door, his dear brother and the Viscount, Anthony. 

"You do not need my permission, brother." Colin cleared his throat as he closed his journal and stored it safely in the drawer. Anthony came inside and closed the door, then paused before gliding across the room in great speed. Colin observed as he sat opposite him, then sighed heavily, as if he had plenty to get off his chest. 

"Mother considers you her most sensitive child, did you know?" Anthony asked. It was an odd way to start off their conversation, but Colin just nodded his head in response, eager to know where the conversation might lead. 

"I am aware, yes." 

"Right, and so when I reprimanded you in front of our siblings, in front of Lady Danbury, you must have felt something surely." Anthony asked, watching Colin contently. 

"I felt as though you were being cruel, and you did not know what you spoke of." Colin shrugged, leaning back in his seat. 

"Right, okay. So..." Colin quickly cut his brother off. 

"Brother, I know you well enough to know you are not here on your own whim." Anthony sighed once more. 

"Kate thinks I may have been too harsh with my words." Anthony said. 

"Kate is right, as she always is." Colin replied. 

"That I know, brother. My wife is hardly wrong. But here is the thing-" Anthony leaned forward. "Four years ago you wanted to marry her cousin, and as much as I did not approve since you hardly knew the girl, I wanted you to be certain with your match. And then she betrayed you. Lady Whistledown wrote about her secret and in truth, I may have been a little relieved. I did not think she was right for you, Colin." Anthony confessed. 

"You did not even speak three sentences to Lady Crane, and you made that assumption already?" Colin asked, slightly confused. 

"Yes, I knew she it would not last, because I know you, brother. And I know Penelope." Anthony said, leaning back. 

"I hardly think you know Penelope as well, brother." Colin shrugged. 

"I know that she grew up with us, and I have always thought of her as I thought of our sisters. We call her Penelope, not Miss Featherington or now, Lady Debling. She has always been under our protection because Lord knows, she needed it. Her mother was not the nicest as she grew up." Anthony added. 

"What is it your are trying to say, brother?" Colin asked, folding his arms. 

"You may not have seen it, neither did Eloise, but we knew Penelope well enough to know she has been in love with you her entire childhood." Anthony confessed. 

"Who is we?" Colin asked. 

"Well, Benedict and I."

"And you knew this and you did not think to tell me?" Colin asked. 

"We did not think it was necessary, brother. We figured sooner or later, you would realise your feelings for her as well. As much as Eloise was thrilled to have Penelope around, you were equally as excited. You always used to try and steal private moments with her, leaving me to her in the middle of your fights with Eloise over who her best friend truly is." Anthony said, making Colin smile. 

"I suppose we did fight over Penelope quite a lot." 

"You certainly did, and since she is so close to our family, I feel like I have her to protect as well. When you said you were looking at properties in Bloomsbury, I lost it. She is widowed and scared, and she had gotten over her unrequited love for you. I did not want you to try and confuse her by buying a house in the same street as her, or nearby. You may have realised your love for Penelope later in life, later than her, but she needs time to process the loss of her husband, and her child. You being in love with her right now will simply confuse her." Anthony told him, earnestly. 

"I understand, brother." Colin nodded his head. 

"You do?" 

"Yes. I do not wish to confuse her with my feelings for her. But then again, who is to say she might ever love me back again? The late Lord Debling was a man who loved her dearly, and she loved him. That letter I read was enough to tell me so." Colin said, thinking about Lord Debling's words to Penelope. 

"And that is the other issue. You cannot go around reading letters not addressed to you. Yes, he may have left that chestbox in your care, but that was not your place to go through it." Anthony said. 

"I am sorry for that as well. I just wish I had not hurt her in the process of my foolishness." Colin breathed out. 

"Well, you must apologise to her. You can do so tonight." Anthony said, then quickly making his way to his feet. Colin looked up with confusion. 

"Tonight?"

"Yes, Eloise got a letter from Penelope. She will be in attendance after all." Anthony replied. 

"Oh, but is that not rather...soon?" Colin asked. 

"It is, I believe. Perhaps she did not want to stay at home any longer." Anthony shrugged. 

"Thank you for informing me, brother." 

___

Penelope walked into the bustling Bridgerton drawing room seeing Violet and Eloise argue over something, probably insignificant. 

"Just one dance, please?" Violet pleaded with her hands pressed together by her chin. 

"Mama! I do not wish to dance with anyone tonight. Please, you cannot force me." Elodie huffed. 

"I suppose I cannot." Violet sighed in defeat, then looked at the entrance of the room. "Penelope!" Violet rushed over and gave Penelope a hug. She always loved Violet's hugs. They were warm and inviting. 

"Lady Bridgerton." Penelope smiled into their hug. 

"I am so pleased you could make it after all." Violet rubbed her shoulders, then lifted her head from Penelope's shoulder. "And you are early!" 

"I did not arrive with the rest of the ton. I hope you do not mind." Penelope said. 

"Of course not!" Violet examined Penelope's dress for the ball. "And you look absolutely beautiful!" Penelope wore a pale turquoise dress with a small train covered in silver sequences and jewels. 

"Thank you." Penelope smiled. 

"Hi, best friend." Eloise stepped forward and as Violet moved aside, Penelope and Eloise shared a hug. 

"Hi, El. Did you receive my letter?" Penelope asked. 

"Yes, I did. You said we had much to discuss before the ball as well." Eloise replied. 

"We do." Penelope nodded her head, and Violet quickly understood the situation. 

"I will give you both a minute." Violet smiled, then left the room, closing the door behind them. They were all alone, and Eloise took her hand and lead her to the settee. Once seated, they faced one another. 

"So, what is it?" Eloise asked. 

"I do not wish to keep anything from you any longer. We are friends, and I wish to be as transparent as I can be." Penelope said as Eloise moved back slightly. 

"Pen, what is it?"

"The Queen ordered me to come. That is the only reason I am here. She summoned me and ordered me to write again, and then it got me thinking." 

"About?"

"Since losing a child and a husband, I did not think life served any more purpose for me. I lost interest in my writing, but this false Lady Whistledown is exactly what I need to keep me distracted. I thought I might retire the column forever, but now, I feel like I want to continue. To keep writing until I can no longer." Penelope said. 

"Pen, that is great! I am glad you decided to continue your writing." 

"Thank you, but I have come up with another plan. You admired Whistledown once, you were even envious you did not think of such an idea." Penelope said. 

"Yes, but that was before I was out in society." 

"I am aware, but since you are out and you will most likely attend more social gatherings than I could, I would like to make you an offer." Penelope said. 

"An offer?"

"Yes, a partnership." Penelope said. 

"Penelope? I am confused. Are you suggesting we both write as Whistledown?" Eloise asked. 

"That would not make sense. People will know the difference between two writers. True readers of Whistledown, perhaps. I am suggesting we both could collect some information to be published. Obviously, the funds will be spilt between the two of us." Penelope said as Eloise looked on, confused. 

"I would get funded as well?" Eloise asked. 

"Of course! And since you plan to be a spinster, you could use the money to purchase whatever it is you want. Now, since I am widowed, we do not need to use the money to purchase a cottage. We can stay in Bloomsbury, in the Dower House together. We always talked about getting a cottage together to live out our spinsterhood days."

"You do not wish to remarry?" Eloise asked. 

"I was lucky enough to have one love. I am not fortunate enough to have two in my life. I believe I shall not remarry." Penelope replied. 

"How can you be so certain?" Eloise asked. 

"Because, I know. And if I ever feel thatxsort of attraction to a man again, I will tell him I do not ever wish to become with child and he will run off. Men want offspring, mostly heirs." Penelope replied. 

"You were serious about not ever wanting to be with child again?" 

"Yes, I do not think I have it in me to go through such agony for nothing again. My baby died, Eloise." Penelope said. A feeling of sadness washed over her. 

"And you are set on your plan? Not ever remarrying again? Not ever being with child again?" Eloise asked. 

"I am, very much so." Penelope replied with certainty. 

"Not even with Colin?" Eloise asked, and the little smile on Penelope's face vanished. 

"What do you mean?" Penelope asked, trying to search for an answer on her face. 

"If he were to come in here and tell you he loves you, you would not swoon at his words and marry him?" Eloise asked her, and she too moved back slightly. 

"Colin is in the past, Eloise. I no longer feel what I did for him when I was a child." Penelope replied. 

"Are you certain?"

"Absolutely! So, my proposal. What do you think?" Penelope asked, leaning closer once more. 

"We are too good together. You know at the Queen's luncheon in the royal garden, I tried collecting gossip for you to write." Eloise confessed, and Penelope gasped. 

"Really?"

"Yes, and now you are proposing this very same idea to me." Eloise smiled. 

"We really are too good together." Penelope laughed. 

"We have the same brilliant ideas, and my answer is yes. To everything you just suggested. We can move in together and grow old together as well." Eloise smiled, and Penelope was so overcome with joy that she wrapped her arms around Eloise instantly. 

"I am so glad I get to share this with you, Eloise." Penelope smiled. 

"Me too, Pen. It will be great." 

__

The masquerade ball was as elegant and sophisticated as Penelope expected it to be. People danced and chattered, but one topic of conversation on everyone's lips was the Whistledown issue. 

"Does it not seem different from the other issues?" Penelope heard as she stood practically glued to the wall. 

"I thought the same thing! It is rather odd how she chooses to only talk about one person in her issue." 

"What if the real Whistledown did not publish that?" 

"Please, I highly doubt that."

"It is a possibility, you know. Perhaps this new Whistledown wants money, so she took advantage of the real Whistledown not publishing." 

"So let us play with your theory there. Why is it that the real Whistledown is no longer publishing then?"

"Perhaps she no longer wants to do that with her life?"

"Perhaps she has grown rather bored of all the work she had to do."

"It is rather sad what she wrote about Lady Debling. Let us face the truth, Lady Debling has been the wallflower of the ton for three seasons until she married. Then this new Whistledown accuses her of something as horrid as murder."

"She is quiet, perhaps we did not know her very well. Perhaps there is no new Whistledown and Lady Debling did in fact, plot the perfect murder with her mother."

"That is cruel, even for Lady Featherington. I do not think either of them could."

"And what she wrote about the Bridgertons? Clearly it does not please them since they continued their plans to host the ball, nonetheless."

Slowly, Penelope moved away from the chattering girls and by the lemonade stand, she saw Colin. He was dressed immaculately. She could tell it was him just based off his side profile. 

"Colin." Penelope said, taking a glass of lemonade in her hand. She watched the people on the dancefloor, as he did. 

"Pen?" He asked, a little uncertain. If the hair not give it away, she would reckon he needed his eyes examined. 

"Yes, it is I." She breathed out."Listen, I wish to apologise for yesterday. I did not mean to lash out at you." Penelope said, then she took a sip. 

"No, you do not need to apologise. I was in the wrong. And for that, I am sorry. I do hope you can forgive me. Losing you as a friend would simply hurt me more than anything." Colin said. She was surprised at how she was not reacting as she once did when he spoke to her. Her heart no longer fluttered and yearned for him desperately. 

"I forgive you, Colin. Perhaps I overreacted a bit as well." She said in between sips. 

"You most certainly did not. I invaded your privacy and read a sacred letter your late husband wrote to you." Colin said. 

Late husband... It felt all too real when people reminded her her husband had passed on. 

"It is okay, Colin. You are forgive." Before their conversation could continue, a silver glimpse caught Penelope's eye. A woman with dark blonde hair and a beautiful silver dress walked down the steps, capturing the attention of almost everyone in the room. Colin spoke on, not paying any attention to the woman she could not identify. Her strutted with nerves and confidence, a mix and was familiar with. She was reminded of bed emerald gown reveal last season at Lady Danbury's ball. This woman exuded that same aura. 

"She looks beautiful, does she not?" Penelope said, pointing gently at the woman. Colin looked up at the mysterious woman. 

"Her gown looks exquisite, indeed." Colin replied. 

"You should go ask her a dance." Penelope said, her eyes still fixed on the woman. 

"What?" Her eyes then darted towards Colin. 

"Go dance with her. This is a Bridgerton Ball after all, and since Anthony is married and Benedict is, well, I do not really know, and Gregory is far too young, you should go dance with her. I am certain she will appreciate it." Penelope told him. 

"I do not plan to dance with anyone tonight." Colin said, taking a sip of his lemonade. 

"That is a pity. She looks so beautiful in her gown. Who knows, perhaps she might be a Bridgerton after this season." Penelope shrugged. 

"What are you implying?" Colin asked. It was hard to read anyone's face with the masks up. 

"I am simply saying you should not give up on love. I know how much a love match is important to you and your family." Penelope said. 

"I do not think I could love her." Colin sighed. 

"That is a shame. I can tell she seems like a lovely person." Penelope said, then left him and made her way around the ballroom. Penelope had listening to conversations and gathered gossip, as did Eloise. It was not until she was about to settle at the the side with her mother than Brimsley approached her. 

"Lady Debling, her majesty would like a word." Brinsley sternly said, and Penelope sighed. 

"Of course." She smiled at her mother and followed him. The Queen was perched high above, overlooking the dancers. Her gaze instantly caught Penelope's 

"Lady Debling, you look spendid tonight." The Queen said as Penelope curtseyed. 

"Thank you, your majesty. As do you." Penelope politely responded. 

"And how is the search?" Queen Charlotte asked, looking at the ballroom floor once more. 

"It is proving to be unsuccessful. Since this is a masquerade ball, I am unable to place some hidden faces. Nobody looks suspicious." Penelope replied. 

"You must try harder." She replied as Penelope nodded her head. 

"I will, your majesty."

"That is all."

___

Penelope groaned in frustration as she closed the door to the Bridgerton study behing her. She had gathered Intel, plenty of intel for her first column of the season, but being out in public around people who were joyous burned a whole in her chest. She placed her hand over it trying to control her breathing. It was too soon for her to out, and Penelope knew this. However, the Queen's insistence made her leave the confines of her home so soon. She rushed to the sofa and sat for a while. 

She wondered what it would have been like attending balls as a married woman. She would have had a baby at home as well. It has been three months since Eloise had passed and she thought about her daughter everyday. And now, she thought about Alfred everyday as well. With Alfred, she could reminisce all their good times together. With Eloise, all she knew was pain. More than ever, she was glad that arrangement had been made with Eloise. She did not think she could handle attending another ball. 

She sat there comfortably in silence, until the door opened. In walked the silver gowned woman. 

"This room is occupied." Penelope quickly said, but the woman did not obliged.

"I know, but I needed to see you, and fast." The woman rushed over and sat next to her. 

"Who are you?" Penelope stated deep into her moss-like green eyes. They were enticing, and Penelope has her seem eyes as warm as hers. 

"That is not important." She moved her mask slightly higher up. Penelope removed hers slowly and placed it on the sofa. 

"I think it is." Penelope quickly said. 

"I know you are Lady Whistledown. I know because my Lady has been impersonating you. You see, she asked me to deliver what she writes to a publishing house and with just one issue, you can discredit her." The woman said. Penelope was stunned, to say the least.

"You think I am Lady Whistledown?" Penelope asked. 

"I asked, and they told me a redhead woman delivers the issue. I never miss an issue, by the way. I am a fan!"

"There are other redheads in the ton, you know." Penelope said. 

"You are smarter than your sisters, that I know. And I believe you stopped because of the tragedies you faced. I am truly sorry for you losses." 

"Thank you, but before we continue, I must know who you are. You can trust me, I promise." Penelope said and with a sigh, the woman removed her mask. 

"My name is Sophie. I am a maid." She said, and Penelope was shocked. 

"You are a maid?" 

"Yes, but I have always loved the idea of coming to a ball. I used to help my lady's daughter prepare for them, but since she no longer stays at the house, I had some free time, so I stitched this dress and came here. I just wanted to feel like everyone else for one night. I even got to dance with one of the Bridgerton brothers." Sophie blushed. Colin took her advice, it seemed. 

"They are a good bunch, those Bridgerton men, and your dress is absolutely beautiful! You are talented, indeed." Penelope smiled, then she suddenly pivotted back.

"Thank you." 

"Wait, you said your lady is impersonating Lady Whistledown?" 

"Yes."

"Who do you work for?" Penelope asked.

"The Cowpers." Penelope's stomach dropped.

"Lady Cowper has been impersonating Lady Whistledown?" Penelope asked. 

"Yes, and has. And she just so happens to be my step mother as well." Penelope's jaw dropped. "My father, Lord Cowper had an affair with my mother. She passed away five years ago and I was sent to live with him. They made me the maid to avoid scandal." Sophie replied. 

"I am sorry for your loss, Sophie."

"Thank you. So I want you to publish that. She will be too ashamed to impersonate you again." Sophie said. 

"I did not say I am Lady Whistledown. You just assumed." Penelope said. 

"But I know if is you, Lady Debling." 

"I will neither confirm or deny that statement, but I do believe Lady Whistledown might keep your identity hidden." Penelope said. 

"Thank you, truly." Sophie smiled. 

"Do not thank me. I am merely a guest here at this ball." 

Chapter Text

Penelope made her way into the drawing the next morning, proud of herself and her issue. It was the happiest she has been in weeks, mainly because she could she set of to do what she intended, and it worked. Eloise faced the fireplace, and upon hearing Penelope, she turned, holding the newest column in her hand.

"Study." Penelope quickly said as she stopped Eloise before speaking. "In fact, they should always lead you to the study from now on. Let's go." Penelope said, walking ahead as Eloise followed her. They moved in silence, and as the door opened to the study, she lead Eloise in and closed the door behind her. 

"You have done it!" Eloise squeeled with excitement. Penelope in turn, smiled. 

"I believe so, yes. I had a very reliable source with this information. Hope it will teach Lady Cowper not to impersonate me again." Penelope said. 

"She certainly will. And I see you used the little pieces of gossip I picked up." Eloise smiled brightly. 

"They were good." Penelope replied as Eloise handed the copy to her. She glanced at the copy before she read what she wrote. 

Deaest Gentle Reader...

The social season is abuzz, the sun in the Mayfair just as hungry as the mamas who plan to marry their daughters off to wealthy suitors. It may seem peculiar to start off this column on such a high note, but the author must address the elephant in the room...

It seems someone has been impersonating this author. Some of you may find it hard to swallow this pill, that that is simply the truth. This author cannot tolerate a lie, so allow me to amend my impersonators mistakes. 

After all she has gone through, Dowager Countess Lady Penelope Debling is no more than a grieving wife and mother. Whatever provoked this false Lady Whistledown to write us heinous lies about a woman in mourning must truly come for a place of pure hatred. You see, this author is always vigilant and I always pay attention. 

It has been brought to my attention that Lady Cowper is my impersonator, but since she wishes to speak ill and untrue words about a family as prestigious as the Bridgertons, perhaps she might like to write about what is happening in her house since she enjoys writing about what happens behind closed doors. 

This author has heard a rumble that Lord Cowper has been unfaithful to his wife during their marriage, resulting in the birth of a child out of wedlock! This child is said to be working as a maid in Cowper House so her presence would not bring shame upon the family. In truth, it is Lord and Lady Cowper who should be ashamed of themselves. Dubious parentage. That is what she claimed the Bridgeton bunch were from. Perhaps she should hold a looking glass up to Lord Cowper's face. Not only is he allowing his daughter to work as a maid, but one can only imagine the ill-treatment this poor maiden must face. It is wrong and unfair for her to be punished for her own father's infidelity. 

Since that has been addressed, perhaps we can move into lighter news. While the ton indulged in the arts of the masquerade ball, tongues were still left waging. And so, dear readers, this author will give a voice to the voiceless. 

If Lady Cowper were truly me, she would have mentioned the debt Lord Blackburn refused to pay to Lord Hanson, or the cruel treatment Mr Davis's wife endures on a daily basis, or the fact that Mrs Newman unceremoniously dismissed her maid for simply asking for the day off.

But alas, the show must go on, and this author, the true Lady Whistledown will continue to write as I am am always watching. 

Speaking of watching, a mysterious woman dressed in silver stunned the ton in with her mesmerising beauty at the Bridgerton Masquerade Ball. She was seen dancing with one of the Bridgerton brothers, and this author must admit, her grace and beauty certainly not go unnoticed if she choices to grace the ton with her beauty. 

"Everyone is talking about the lady in silver. Even I could not stop staring. Her dress, it did not look like something Madam Delacroix makes." Eloise said. 

"Certainly not, but it is equally beautiful." 

"Oh, that reminds me... Benedict caught wind of the lady in silver's appearance in Whistledown, so he is expected to come and pay you a visit. He danced with her last night, and they had such an intellectual conversion. Benedict enjoyed himself with her." Eloise confessed. 

"So it was Benedict who danced with her? I did not know this." Penelope said. 

"You wrote about her dancing with my brother. You did not which one?" Eloise asked. 

"I did not, but I assumed it was Colin because I told him to dance with her." Penelope shrugged. 

"You spoke to Colin?" Eloise asked, raising her eyebrows. 

"I forgave him for reading that letter, and then she came and I told him to go out there and ask her for a dance." Penelope said.

"Something still does not make sense to me, Penelope. You wrote about this mysterious woman dancing with one of my brother's, and you suddenly found out such information about the Cowpers." Eloise said. 

"I had a confidant last night. She informed me who the false Lady Whistledown was, and she gave me this information." Penelope confessed. 

"And you just trusted her? What if they are lies as well?" Eloise asked. 

"She seemed honest and sincere, and I trusted her, just as I trust she will keep my indentity a secret." Eloise gasped. 

"Your confidant knows you are Lady Whistledown?"

"She speculated, I did not deny or confirm it, but I suppose after this issue she will have her confirmation." Penelope said. 

"Since we are partners, will you tell me who your confidant is?" Eloise asked. Penelope did not want to keep secrets from Eloise, but she also did not want to betray Sophie's trust. 

"El, I know we are partners now, but she came to me in utmost confidence and privacy. I cannot betray that trust. Perhaps I should find out from her before I reveal who she is to you." Penelope sighed. 

"I understand, Pen. Now, when do we eat? I am starving!"

__

Benedict Bridgerton paced his vacant childhood room in anticipation, thinking about the conversation he had with the woman he could not place. Her eyes were green and her hair dark blonde, and she had a simple yet elegant way about her walk. She was tall, and she sounded quite smart. Benedict loved that. 

If he could just see her once again, he would resume their conversation with ease, because she was easy to talk to. Benedict felt a certain way as he thought of her, of her beautiful gown and her mesmerising smile. He never did enjoy dancing at balls, but it was enjoyable with her. He asked what her name was, but she said she would like to remain anonymous, even though he revealed his face and name to her. He wanted to know her, to see her, to be in the same room as her. 

He confessed to Eloise, his most favourite sibling, just as he felt and she suggested he speak to Penelope since Penelope had written about her in Whistledown. That was a great idea, and so without further delay, he exited his room, only to be stopped by his mother.

"Dearest, we are going out for a promenade. Will you be joining us? Anthony and Kate will not, but Eloise will meet us there. She is with Penelope this morning. She chose to break fast there." His mother asked.

"Uh, I will join you indeed." His mother smiled, but then he called her back before she walked off. "Wait, Eloise is with Penelope?" 

"She left early this morning with her ladymaid." 

"She should have informed me. I wished to speak to Penelope as well." 

"Whatever for?" Violet asked.

"You know, just to check up on her." Benedict lied.

"That is awfully kind of you, dear. I do not think Penelope will be joining us out in Hyde Park. Perhaps you could leave now and bring Eloise back with you?" Violet asked. 

"Certainly, mother. I will leave right away."

__

Penelope and Eloise were sitting around the table to break fast along with Samantha, Whitney and Vincent. Penelope had grown rather fond of her niblings. Whitney was learning her way quite fast, all at the age of four. 

"And so?" Samantha asked as she fed her son. 

"Of course, Penelope informed me it was a terrible idea. She may very well be the reason I am still alive."

"I hope my children do not get ideas from you. Jumping out of trees and climbing to the roof sounds like a nightmare for any mother!" Samantha replied. 

"Well, I was a nightmare growing up." Eloise proudly chuckled.

"Aunty Penelope?" Penelope looked over at Whitney, sitting next to her. 

"Yes, sweetheart?" Penelope smiled down at her. 

"You did not come and read me a bedtime story. I missed you." Whitney said. 

"Oh, I am so sorry. I came home rather late. Tonight, we will read two stories. How does that sound?" Penelope asked. 

"That sounds good." The little girl smiled. 

"Okay, then we will do just that."

"She was rather bored, aye. She said told me you do the silly voices better. She was not too impressed with my reading it all in the same voice." Samantha replied. 

"Your mother did not do the voices?" Penelope looked at Whitney. 

"No, she did not." Whitney shook her head. 

"We will fix that for bedtime, sweetheart. We will make all the silly voices together."

"Yay!" Whitney's screamed in excitement, until the footman entered the room. 

"My Lady, you have a caller, a Mr Bridgerton. Should I send him to the drawing room?" 

"Here is fine, thank you." Penelope said, then the footman disappeared.

"That is probably Benedict." 

"Okay ladies, I should probably get Whitney and Vincent ready for the day with Louisa's help." Samantha stood up, taking Vincent in her arms. 

"Bye." Whitney waved at Penelope and Eloise.

"Bye, sweetheart." 

"Bye, Whitney." Eloise waved at her, and just as the three of them left, Benedict entered. 

"Penelope, sister!" Benedict said with a smile. He sat quickly where Whitney did. 

"Benedict! To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?" Penelope asked. 

"I am here to speak to Lady Whistledown, in fact. You see, I had a great time at our ball last night, and this woman caught my attention in particular." Benedict said. 

"Let me guess, the lady in silver? I believe Lady Whistledown reported you had danced with her last night." Penelope said, bringing her teacup to her lips and taking a sip. 

"Yes! She is easily the smartest woman I have ever held a conversation with." Benedict beamed, his eyes glossing with warmth. 

"Hey!" Eloise exclaimed. 

"Forgive me, apart from the two of you, of course." Benedict quickly said. 

"Much better." Eloise replied. 

"So Penelope, do you know who she is? I believe I would like to formally make her acquaintance." Benedict asked. 

"Give me some time, Benedict. I will find her for you." Penelope said, and now she was eager to see Sophie once more. 

"You would do that for me?" Benedict asked. 

"Of course, Benedict." Penelope smiled at him. 

"Thank you, Penelope. She has green eyes, easily the best eyes I have ever seen." Benedict said. 

"Penelope has the best eyes I have ever seen. Have you seen her light blue eyes? They are remarkable!" Penelope smiled in her friend's direction. 

"El, thank you. You have the best hair I have ever seen." 

"Really? I quite like your red locks. That are distinct and it matches nicely with your eyes, and I think you-"

"Ladies, we are going off topic here." Benedict interrupted them.

"Sorry, but I will do some digging." Penelope said, smiling at him. 

"Thank you, Penelope. Now Eloise-" Benedict looked at his sister. "Are you done? Mother has asked me to deliver you in one piece to Hyde Park."

"Just about done with my tea, then we can leave." Eloise said, and Benedict helped himself to a cup of his own tea. 

"I am quite parched. I hope you do not mind." Benedict said as he concentrated while pouring his tcup with tea. 

"No, not at all." Penelope replied. 

__

"And so, I heard you were both with Penelope this morning." Colin stood with his hands on his hips before Benedict and Colin. Their mother had disappeared with Lady Danbury, making their way around the park. 

"Yes, we broke fast together." Eloise told him. 

"That is nice." Colin nodded his head, a little jealous. 

"And I went to fetch Eloise." Benedict informed him. 

"That is kind of you," Colin said, and he noticed his mother and Lady Danbury coming with two other people women beside them. "We should probably run. Mother is coming with some guests, and if we know her, she is here to introduce some women to us." Colin quickly, and just as Benedict was tempted to leave, their mother called them both to stay. They sighed on defeat. 

"Mother, Lady Danbury." Colin said, and Benedict greeted the ladies as well. 

"Gentlemen. It is lovely to see you both." Lady Danbury said.

"This is Lady Harris, and her daughter, Miss Georgina Harris." Violet excitedly exclaimed. 

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Colin smiled in their direction. 

"The diamond of the season." Benedict replied. 

"It is such a great honour bestowed upon me by her majesty, and it is lovely to meet you both, misters Bridgerton." Georgina told them. 

"I am Eloise. I do not think we have met." Eloise smiled at her. 

"Please to meet you, Miss Eloise." Georgina replied. 

"So, your mother tells me your travel, Mr Bridgerton. I must say, that is quite impressive. I cannot imagine leaving London." Georgina said, fluttering her eyes at Colin. 

"I do, yes. I am fortunate enough to travel, I suppose." Colin shrugged. 

"And you, Mr Bridgerton, you are an artist. How delightful!" Georgina said, fluttering her eyelashes once more in Benedict's direction once more. "I certainly would love to see your work. I am a lover of art." 

"Really?"

"Yes, indeed! I appreciate a good piece of art." Georgina smiled. 

"That is interesting to know." Benedict politely smiled. 

"And you, Mr Bridgerton must have delightful stories to tell from your time abroad. I would love to hear them." Georgina said. 

"Certainly, although there is not much to tell."

"I would be pleased either way." She said. 

"Well, in case you were wondering, I read a lot. So, do you enjoy a good book as much as you appreciate good art, Miss Georgina?" Eloise asked, and Colin was most grateful for his sister's intervening. 

"I must admit I do not read as often. I would much rather prefer to live in the present." Georgina replied. 

"Eloise, dear. Is Penelope not somewhere around?" Violet asked, burning her eyes through Eloise's skull. 

"No, mama." Eloise replied. 

"Then perhaps you should like to pay Lady Featherington a visit then. She is a few tents away with her daughters." Violet suggested. "She has been asking for you."

"Really?" 

"Yes, now make haste, dear. Do not keep her waiting." Eloise huffed as she left. Colin and Benedict exchanged looks of defeat. 

"Come, sit." Violet suggested to Lady Harris and Miss Georgina. They settled on nicely as Lady Danbury eyed both brothers carefully, then slowly approached them. 

"You do know the two of you are probably the most eligible bachelors of this season?" Lady Danbury asked. 

"Us? Really?" Benedict asked. 

"You are Bridgeton men. Mamas are eager to marry their daughters off to one of you." She advised them. "And I can tell you both do not want that. However, Lady Harris pleased with your mother to her daughter to talk to you both, and since she is the diamond of the season, her mother thought it would only be right to marry a Bridgerton." Lady Danbury told them. 

"We are untitled. Certainly Miss Georgina can do better."

"You are Bridgertons. And since the diamond, or sparker has been associated with the Bridgerton name for the last three years, Lady Harris believe this year will be no different." Lady Agatha said, then made her way to the trio. 

"Let us hope this year ends that streak, unless you actually want to court Miss Georgina?" Colin asked his brother. 

"Of course not, brother. I am sure she is lovely, but I have no interest in her. What about you?" Benedict asked.

"I feel the same way." 

"Penelope?" Benedict asked, and Colin shot him an annoyed glance. 

"Oh, shut it!" Colin said, then gently nudged his brother towards the group. 

__

"My lady, you have a caller?" Penelope had just finished a meeting with the accountants later that same afternoon until she was interrupted by Mrs Clara in her study. 

"I will take the caller in the drawing room, Mrs Clara. Thank you." Penelope closed the ledgers and made her way downstairs. In the drawing room stood a distraught Sophie. Her eyes were swelled with tears and her demeanour was shaky. Penelope rushed over. 

"Sophie?" She took Sophie's hand and suggested she breath slowly. In through the nose, out through the mouth. "Breath." 

"Okay." Sophie said between shaky breaths. Her chest heaved as she regulated her breathing. 

"Come, sit. I will have tea and biscuits brought for us." Penelope quickly spoke to Mrs Clara, who stood in the corner of the room. 

"She is alright?" Mrs Clara asked, concerned. 

"I hope so. Please hurry with the tea." Penelope said, and Mrs Clara hurried off, closing the door behind her. Penelope sat beside Sophie.

"I have a huge mistake, Lady Debling! I should not have told you to publish what you did." Sophie cried out silently. 

"Sophie, it is okay. Just tell me what has happened." Penelope urged. 

"Lady Cowper took off. She ran away after you published. She must have gone off to stay with Miss Cressida, but Lord Cowper was furious. He said I bring nothing but shame to him, and he cannot allow me to stay at the house any longer. I did not know where else to go." Sophie cried out. 

"Sophie, it is fine. I am glad you came here. I will help you, okay? Whatever you need." Penelope said, then carefully hugged her. Mrs Clara came into the room and placed their tea and biscuits before them as they hugged, then made her exit quickly as well. 

"You are too kind, Lady Debling." Sophie said as they parted. 

"Please, call me Penelope. I am in debt to you since you helped me so generously last night." Penelope said. 

"You do not owe me anything. I believe I did the right thing. I have suffered ill-treatment from the Cowpers for years." Sophie told her. 

"I am so sorry, Sophie." Penelope said. 

"I am used to it, truly. I did not expect my own father to throw me out like garbage though. I thought maybe, just maybe, he cared for me, even if it was a slither of care." Sophie confessed. 

"You mentioned last night you liked society and the social gathering. I could speak to the Queen and she might allow you entry, if that is what you wish for." Penelope suggested. Sophie's eyes widened at the suggestion. 

"I was born out of wedlock. Society will never accept me." Sophie said. 

"It will not matter if the Queen does." Penelope told her. 

"Penelope, the offer seems generous, but I cannot accept. I will always be mocked and ridiculed." Sophie told her, and Penelope nodded her head. 

"So, what is it that you would like to do now?" Penelope asked her. 

"Nobody has ever asked me that before." Penelope smiled lightly at her. "Nobody has even cared enough to ask me." 

"Well, I may not know you very well, but I care. So please, tell me." 

"Being a maid is all I have ever known. Perhaps you might know of someone willing to hire me?" Sophie asked, and Penelope smiled. 

"You know, Benedict Bridgerton was quite charmed by you. I am certain they could use an extra maid." Penelope suggested. 

"Mr Bridgerton is wonderful, but I cannot work for the Bridgertons. He will be a distraction. Have you seem how gorgeous his eyes are?" Sophie smiled, and so did Penelope. 

"For as long as I have known him, I have never truly noticed his eyes." Penelope replied, then she turned and filled both their cups with tea. 

"They are mesmerising! How can you not notice them?" Sophie asked. 

"Forgive me, but Mr Benedict Bridgerton is not really someone who's eyes I preferred looking at."

"So, do you know of anyone else? I simply cannot work for them." Sophie replied. 

"You could work here." Penelope said, then took a sip. 

"I could not ask for that from you." Sophie shook her head as she took the teacup. 

"Why not? That way you have someone to talk to, me, and the staff here is wonderful. They will welcome you with open arms." Penelope said. 

"Do you truly mean that? I could work here?" Sophie asked. 

"I could still manage to get you into society, if that is what you wish for." Penelope said. 

"No, then I will work here. Thank you, Penelope." Sophie smiled at her. 

"You are welcome, Sophie. Now come, finish your tea and biscuits so I can introduce you to Mrs Clara. She is the housekeeper. She is a wonderful woman."

Two months had gone by since the season had started, and Sophie was settling into Debling Manor wonderfully. Penelope was right. The staff was excellent and as kind as ever, kinder than the maids she worked with at Cowper House. She was eternally grateful to Penelope, and often Penelope would call her into the study and she would ask her how she was. It was crazy to think that she could actually be friends with her employer, but Penelope was such a wonderful person to work for. 

"Sophie, I cannot believe you made this!" Rae said as they gathering in her room. 

"My mother taught me to sew when I was younger, and I never stopped. This was her machine." Sophie patted the machine generously. 

"It is beautiful!" Rae admired the very same silver dress she wore to the Bridgerton Ball. 

"Thank you, Rae. Would you like to see some of my sketches? I could make you a dress if you would like." Sophie suggested.

"When will I ever wear a dress as fancy as this one?" Rae said, her fingers tracing the fabric of the dress hanging on the wall. Sophie saw it as a token of bravery, as the day she got to experience a ball for the first time. 

"Someday you might, you will never know." Sophie said, fiddling in her box and found her big black book of sketches. She handed it to Rae. Rae eagerly grabbed it and flipped the cover. 

"This is simply beautiful! Perhaps you would open your own boutique." Rae looked up at her, and the thought had never crossed her mind. Sophie, a woman born out of wedlock working as a modiste? She never allowed herself to dream that big. 

"Do you truly think so?" Sophie asked. 

"Yes, your designs are unique. You will certainly give Madam Delacroix a run for her money." Rae replied. 

"Is that the woman who runs the boutique here? I have never been there." Rae looked up, shocked. 

"Really?" 

"Yes, I was not really allowed out of the house where I last worked." Sophie said, crossing her legs on her bed. 

"You must ask Lady Debling if you can accompany her next time." Rae said. 

"But you are her ladymaid. Is that not your job?" Sophie asked. 

"Yes, but I do not mind staying away. You could go and see how the shop looks yourself." Rae replied, flipping the pages. Sophie smiled as she watched Rae's expression light up at every new design. "Simply marvelous!"

"Thank you, Rae." Sophie watched her for a while longer, until she reached the last design. 

"This one has Lady Debling's name on top." Rae pointed to where Sophie had written her name. 

"Lady Debling has been so kind to me, in more ways than anyone has. I am in the process of designing a dress just for her." Sophie said. 

"She will love this! Does she know?" Rae asked. 

"No, I want to show it to her after I complete it. Do you really think she will like it? I do not particularly know her style of dresses." Sophie asked, playing with her fingers. 

"She will love it. The last dress she wore to the Bridgerton Ball had a train. She does not usually wear dresses with trains but she loved it very much. This is a longer train, and she will love it. Do you have a colour in mind?" Rae asked her. 

"What does she prefer?" 

"She loves blue. It emphasises her eyes, and turquoise. Basically anything that resembles blue. She also looks quite marvelous in green as well." Raw told her. 

"Then I suppose it will be either green or blue." Sophie replied, then Rae closed the sketchbook. 

"You truly are gifted. But that silver dress is something else." Rae shook her head in awe. 

"Rae, I could design a dress for you as well. Come, we can discuss it at length later. I believe our break is over." 

_

Penelope and Eloise had gotten into a comfortable flow during their parenership. Penelope would wait outside unnoticed in a carriage and Eloise would inform her of everything she heard. She would wrote the issue on her way to the printers. 

"I am exhausted!" Eloise threw herself on Penelope's bed. "Being in this partnership is hard work. And you did this every night?" Eloise asked as she propped herself up on her shoulders. 

"Yes, but it is also invigorating, is it not?" 

"Dangerous, that is what it is. Especially for you. You know, if you moved to Bloomsbury it would be a shorter journey for you to the printers." Eloise said as Penelope sat beside her friend.

"I do not think I could move just yet. Samantha and the children need me. And I would need to show Samantha how to manage the ledgers. That could take some time." Penelope informed her. 

"Well, then start now. The sooner you move out, the sooner I can move in." Eloise said. 

"Did you mama change her mind?" Penelope looked at her surprised. 

"No, the age reminds the same. She said once I turn thirty I can move in with you." 

"Nine more years to go." Penelope patted her shoulder. 

"I am so upset with that, you know! Colin and Benedict can move out and I cannot. This society is a joke." Eloise huffed. 

"It is what we were born into, unfortunately." Penelope informed her. She retraced back in their conversation. "Wait, did Colin move out? I know Benedict stays in My Cottage." 

"Yes, he made it official. He is staying in family property in Bloomsbury now." Eloise replied. 

"It is by time. He is five and twenty." Penelope said. 

"And we both are one and twenty! That should matter." 

"But we are women, so it does not." 

"How are you so calm about this?" Eloise looked up at her. 

"Well, I am two months older than you, that is perhaps why." Penelope shrugged. 

"Not what I meant, Pen. Rules of society are messing with our plans." Eloise folded her arms. 

"Nine years will go by in a blink of an eye, El. We will still be fine." 

"I fear you might remarry, that is why I am eager." Eloise said. 

"I will not, Eloise." Penelope assured her. 

"You say so now, but some day some man is going to come here and court you and ask you to marry him and you will say yes." Eloise told her. 

"And what if something like that happens with you first?" Penelope asked her. 

"That is unlikely." Eloise replied. 

"But it is possible, El. You might fall in love someday." Eloise sighed heavily. 

"I do not wish to marry, Pen. I am fine with my life as is." Eloise informed her. 

"Very well then, El. As am I, I will not remarry." 

Chapter Text

TWO YEARS LATER:

It was the 27 February, a day Penelope very much enjoyed. It was her birthday, and she was hosting a very large dinner with her family and friends. Waking up to the sun kissing her skin felt glorious, and there was nothing more she wanted to do than take an early morning stroll in Hyde Park. 

"Three and twenty, you say?" Rae barged into her room with an overly expressive smile. 

"Rae, what is this?" Penelope propped herself up on her elbows, watching Rae entered her room with a chocolate cake in her hand. 

"Happy birthday!" Rae explained, and behind her came Whitney and Vincent, who immediately jumped to greet her with hugs and kisses. 

"Oh, this is simply the best way to wake up!" Penelope said, holding them both closely to her sides. 

"Happy birthday, Aunty Penelope." Whitney sweetly said. 

"Thank you, Whitney." Penelope kissed her forehead. Vincent was not much of a speaker, but he was quite the affectionate boy. He showed her his love by wrapping his tiny arms around her tightly. Penelope responded by kissing his forehead as well. Rae placed the cake on the bedside table, and Penelope sat up, Vincent and Whitney shifted with her as well. 

"I hope the cook made another cake so we can all eat from it." Penelope asked Rae. 

"Of course she did." Rae replied. 

"Okay, let me get dressed for the day and we can have some cake to break fast. How does that sound?" Penelope looked between her niblings. 

"I love cake!" Whitney exclaimed. 

"Just do not tell your mother. She will not approve of cake so early in the morning." Penelope said. 

"We will not tell her, Aunty Penelope." Whitney replied. She hopped off Penelope's bed, and helped Vincent off. Together, they ran off, leaving Rae and Penelope. 

"You are getting old." Rae smiled. 

"Oh, come off it, Rae! The cake looks delicious, by the way. Will go down so lovely with some tea." Penelope suggested. 

"I will get right on that." Rae said. 

"Oh, and tell everyone to help themselves to some cake. I am certain Mrs Clara will not mind a few minutes off from household chores to have some." Penelope said. 

"Will do." Rae left Penelope, who then threw herself back on her bed. She stared at the ceiling with a smile. 

"Good morning Alfred, Eloise. It is my birthday today and the cook made a delicious cake. But do not worry, I will have a piece in honour of you both." Penelope said. She had gotten into a ritual of talking to Alfred and Eloise. It brought her comfort instead of crying all the time. 

"I love you both immensely." She blew a kiss up to heaven, where her husband and daughter were, then pushed the covers off her and hopped out of bed. She was determined to make today a great day. 

"I heard it is your birthday today." Sophie came into the room. 

"Something like that, yes." Penelope playfully smiled. 

"Well, happy birthday. I got you a gift, by the way. I will give it to you tonight." Sophie said, beaming with a smile. 

"That is not fair. Why can I not see it now?" Penelope asked, her lips pouted. 

"Because, it is from my heart. It took me two years to complete." Sophie informed her. 

"Two years?" Penelope's eyes widened. 

"Yes." 

"Why that long? And Sophie, you really did not need to get me anything." Penelope said. 

"I had to, and I wanted it to be perfect." 

"Will you truly not show me now?" Penelope asked as Sophie rolled her eyes. "Please?" 

"Okay fine, perhaps it is a good idea to show you now." Sophie said. 

"Oh, how exciting!" Penelope exclaimed as Sophie left her room. 

___

In the dining room, Penelope sat by the table with Whitney and Vincent by her side. Samantha was out that morning quite early. Penelope had taught her all she needed to know about running the household, so Penelope basically had nothing to do but spend time with her niblings. 

"And for you, Vincent." She placed a slice of cake in his little place. It was fascinating to see how they devoured it instantly, and asked for more. Their mouths were covered in chocolate frosting and their fingers were sticky as well. They were quite adorable when they messed food all over their adorable faces. 

She was so mesmerised, she did not notice Sophie standing by the door of the dining room with powered blue lace gown. The lace sort of mimicked out into a train that would sweep the floor as she walked. It had little patterns on the lace, like snowflakes. It had a lining just underneath the bust and the neck was raised up just to below the collarbone, she assumed, covering her breasts. 

Penelope gasped at the sheer beauty of the dress. This was definitely something she would wear for a second time. 

"Sophie!" Penelope stood up, her hand on her chest as she marvelled at the beauty of the gown. "Is... Is that for me?" Penelope asked. 

"Yes, I started sketching it two years ago, but I only managed to finish it just a few weeks ago." Sophie replied. 

"This is- oh, my goodness!" She stepped away from the table and hugged Sophie. "This is too much!" Penelope said as they parted their hug. 

"It is not, Penelope. It is just a little something I wanted to gift you." Penelope traced her fingers over the fabric, paying attention to the detail on the dress. The material felt expensive, and Penelope shot a quick look up at her. 

"How much was this material?" 

"Do not worry about it." Sophie shrugged. 

"No, Sophie! This feels expensive." Penelope said. 

"It was quite a bit of money, but Madam Delacroix helped me get it for a cheaper price. Also, she gave me your measurements, I hope that is okay." Sophie said. 

"You will be reimbursed for the material, Sophie. This is far too much!" Penelope said. 

"Then it would not be a gift then. Please, just accept it." Sophie said, placing the dress in her hands. 

"Thank you." Penelope smiled up at her.

"You are welcome, and happy birthday." Sophie said. 

"I will wear this tonight, and if anyone asks where I managed to get such a beautiful dress, I will say it is from you." 

"Do you have plans I am unaware of?" Sophie asked. 

"You do not know? I am hosting a dinner party with my family, the Bridgertons and Lady Danbury. Agatha and I have grown rather close over the years." Penelope smiled. 

"So, Mr Bridgerton will be in attendance as well?" Sophie asked. 

"I believe so, yes." Penelope witnessed her cheeks turn crimson. "And I take it you both are still familiar with one another?" Penelope asked. 

"What do you mean?"

"I have seen the secret glances and I happened to see the two of you go off together a few times. And he comes here more than he is supposed to." Penelope replied. 

"I am sorry, I did not mean-"

"Have you told him you are the lady in silver? The one he has been obsessively looking for, for the past two years?" Penelope asked her. 

"I have tried, a few times but it just never seemed like the right time." Sophie replied. 

"Does anyone else know he comes here to see you?" Penelope asked. 

"No. We have been very careful." 

"Not careful enough if I have noticed." Penelope said. 

"You are Lady Whistledown. You see everything, but everyone else is oblivious." Sophie responded. 

"Just make sure he does not break your heart in the process. Gaurd it with your life, Sophie." Penelope adviced her. 

"I do not think he is capable of breaking my heart, Penelope. He is kind and generous, and very gentle." Sophie confessed. 

"Then you must tell tell him, Sophie. Is it clearly you he is attracted to, you being your beautiful self and the mysterious woman he had one dance and one conversation with two years ago." Penelope said. 

"What if he wants to marry me? Society will never accept me." Sophie said, defeated. "What if he does not accept me after he learns the truth of my existence?" 

"You cannot let society dictate all you do, and Benedict is a smart man. He will accept you for who you are." Penelope smiled. 

"I will tell him, but when I am ready." Penelope nodded her head at his response. 

"Okay, now go have some cake. It is delicious." 

__

Colin Bridgerton was home for the first time in two years. He has taken an extended trip and visited plenty of counties. He left two years ago on good terms with everyone, even Penelope. As he sat in the Bridgerton drawing room, he remembered their last conversation vividly. 

Two years ago

"Eloise tells me you have a travel crew this time." Penelope approached him in the Bridgerton garden. He was sitting by himself, admiring the view. But he had to admit, with Penelope in their garden, the view had intensified to sheer and utter beauty. Her dark green gown reflected and matched the beauty of the garden around him. 

"She is correct, yes. I have befriended some gentlemen who plan to see as much countries as possible in two years. 

"That is excellent, Colin. I am happy for you." Her small smile was radiant and pleasing to look at. 

"Thank you, and although I will be gone for two years, I will write to you describing all I see." Colin replied. 

"I look forward to your letters then, and I shall live vicariously through you." Penelope replied. 

"Have you ever thought of travelling?" Colin asked. 

"Not particularly, no. But I would not oppose the notion if the opportunity presented itself." Penelope shrugged. 

"You would love Greece. Remember when you encouraged me to go to Greece because they have excellent tomatoes?" Penelope let out a laugh. 

"I must admit, my intentions were not pure. I only suggested you leave to Greece because your courtship with Marina seemed serious." Penelope laughed once more. 

"That is cruel, Pen." He laughed with her. 

"Forgive me, but I was merely a young girl in love with the man my cousin had grown fond of." She mentioned her love for him so effortlessly, like it did not effect her at all, like something she was over. 

"People tend to do silly things when they are in love." Colin replied. Penelope turned at the sound of Eloise screaming her name in the house. 

"Eloise summons me."

"So I hear." Colin said. It was just like Eloise to block their conversations. She did it unknowingly. 

"I wish you the very best with your travels, Colin. And be safe. Come back home in one piece. Do you promise?" Her eyes lit up. 

"I promise." 

He kept his promise. He was home in one piece. Being away from home made Colin miss his family (and Penelope) terribly. It seemed like fate that he returned on her birthday, no less. Their trip was cut short due to an emergency one of his fellow travel members had to face back in London. 

"Why are you smiling like that?" Eloise came into the drawing room, crossing her arms. 

"Just happy to be home, El." 

"We may have missed you a tiny bit, Colin. Only a tiny bit." She emphasised. 

"Of course you did, Eloise. Now come, would you like to accompany me for a walk in Hyde Park?" Colin asked. 

"Oh, no. I am trying to remember where I placed Penelope's birthday gift." Elosie replied. 

"You misplaced it?" Colin asked. He had purchased her a beautiful bracelet in Spain. 

"No, not exactly. I just forget where I put it. But I will find it." Eloise said. 

"Okay, tell mother I will be heading for Hyde Park, then home." Colin said. 

_

Colin gazed at the pond before him, taking in the sound of nature. His eyes scanned his surroundings - the branches gently dancing with the force of the warm wind, the sound of birds chirping, the calm of the pond before him, as blue and clear as it has ever been in ages. The sound of people chattering about and children laughing brought warmth to his heart. He missed London and the scenery, indeed. 

"Whitney!" He heard a familiar voice call out, one he instantly recognised as Penelope's. Her voice sounded stern and strict as she called her niece, and when he shot a look her way behind him, he saw her holding her nephew, Vincent in her arms. Their helper he knew as Louisa was running after Whitney as she observed the little girl chasing a duck. He smiled, then he looked back at Penelope. She placed Vincent on the grass and she followed him as he waddled about. 

"Hello," Whitney tugged at his coat, his pirate coat, as Eloise called it. 

"Hi." Louisa came running up, and she breathed heavily. 

"Forgive us, she is as inquisitive as ever these days. We did not mean to interrupt you." Her accent sounded Irish, or Scottish. Colin could not place it very well. 

"It is no problem at all." He smiled, then he looked pass Louisa's shoulder seeing Penelope walk with her hand in Vincent's there way. 

"Colin!" She excitedly said, and he smiled. 

"Pen." She said, more in a breathy whisper. He missed her, and somehow, she had gotten more beautiful. 

"I did not know you were back." She said. Vincent gently hit her thigh and she picked him up. 

"Arrived just this morning." 

Did her eyes somehow get more blue?

"That is wonderful! You must tell me all about your time abroad tonight." She said, and he watched as Vincent placed his head on her shoulder. She looked beautiful like this, caring for children as she caressed his hair. Louisa and Whitney ran off once more. 

"What is happening tonight?" Colin asked, confused. 

"Well, it is my birthday and I invited your family over for dinner." Penelope said. 

"I will certainly be there." He was interrupted by a giggling Whitney in the distance. "She really is making Louisa run around." Colin laughed. 

"That is Whitney for you. You know, she reminds me a lot of El." Penelope smiled in Whitney's direction. 

"Oh, dear God no! One Eloise is enough. We do not need another." Penelope laughed at his response. 

"Another Eloise would not hurt. I did name my daughter after her, after all." Penelope said, and Colin instantly stopped smiling. Penelope noticed. 

"Colin, it is fine. You do not have to get weird about it. I have come to terms with the deaths in my life. I am dealing with it in a healthy way." Penelope assured him. 

"And how is that, exactly?" Colin asked. 

"I talk to them, every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep." Penelope said. 

"That does not seem healthy at all." Colin replied. 

"It is better than crying over what I have lost. I just talk to them about my day every night, and I greet them every morning as well." Penelope replied. 

"I suppose that is better than crying." Colin sighed. 

"Yes, definitely better. Although, I do manage to sneak a cry in here and there." Penelope confessed. 

"I am glad you are dealing with this at your own terms, Pen." Colin said with a heartwarming smile. 

"Thank you."

"Well, I must get going. I wish to rest before tonight." 

"Yes, of course." Penelope said. "It is good to see you, Colin. And the beard is rather distinguished." Penelope said. 

"My mother hates it, as do my sisters." Colin said. 

"I quite like it. Perhaps you should keep it for a little while longer before you shave it all off." Penelope said. 

"Just for a few days." Penelope shifted Vincent closer to her. "And Penelope?"

"Yes?" She asked, her eyes meeting his again. 

"Happy birthday." 

__

Later that evening, Penelope was dressed in her new gown made by Sophie, and instead of Rae's help, Sophie helped her get into the dress. And so, for a minute she admired the image before her in the mirror. Rae had done an excellent job with her makeup and hair, doing a chignon bun with some pieces out, framing her face. She had absolutely no right to look this beautiful, especially for a simple birthday dinner. All the Bridgerton's would be attending, except Francesca. She and John were expecting their first child, and she did not wish to travel to England, which Penelope understood. 

Of course, the house would be filled with children. Prudence and Mr Dankworth's son and daughter, Peter and Primrose, Philippa and Mr Finch's daughters, Philomena and Portia, Kate and Anthony's children, Edmund and Miles, Simon and Daphne's children, Augie, Belinda and Caroline, as well as Samantha's children, Whitney and Vincent. Eleven children in total. 

They wanted to leave their children at home in the care of their nanny's, but Penelope insisted they all come to celebrate her birthday. Their cook would make something extra and special for the children to eat as well. 

Thankfully with Samantha slowly taking over as the lady in the house, Penelope did not need to welcome the guests who were already piling up in the drawing for a quick drink before dinner. Kate had suggested a game of charades after dinner, and Penelope loved that idea very much. 

"Is this your secret wedding or something?" Eloise came into her room. "You dress looks too perfect to simply have dinner in." Penelope turned to her best friend. 

"Sophie made this for me. A birthday gift, she says." Eloise came gliding into the room and immediately placed her hands on Penelope's dress. 

"Sophie made this?" Eloise asked, tracing her fingers along the lace.

"Yes, is it not perfect?" Penelope gushed. 

"Too perfect for tonight, but nonetheless, perfect!" Eloise gasped. 

"You know, you could always ask her to design something for you. She sketches and makes dresses herself." Penelope told her. 

"Mmm, perhaps I will. I will speak to mama." Penelope nodded in response. "Now come, let us go and show you of to everyone." Eloise hooked her arm in with Penelope's. 

"I am rather nervous. Perhaps I did overdress." Penelope said as they exited her room. 

"Nonsense, it is your birthday. I was just messing with you." Eloise replied. The ladies chattered and laughed as they made their way downstairs and into the drawing room. 

One thing Penelope could not handle was the sheer amount of gasps and admiration sent her way. The ladies marveled at her gown and quickly, Penelope's cheeks became as red as her hair. 

"Madam Delacroix made this?" Hyacinth asked?

"Uh, no. One of the helpers here, Sophie. She is an extremely gifted seamstress. She gifted this to me just this morning. I simply had to wear it!" Penelope beamed. 

"Perhaps we should all pay Sophie a visit then." Daphne replied. 

"You certainly should." Penelope said, quickly glancing at Benedict, who nervously took a large gulp of his drink. She scanned the room around her, noting that everyone was on attendance, except Colin. 

"I saw Colin in the park this morning. I thought he might join you all tonight." Penelope asked. 

"He is running a little late." Anthony quickly said. "Something about last minute shopping for the birthday girl." Anthony pointed at the piles of gifts stacked on the table. 

"You did not have to!" Penelope said, looking around the room. 

"We certainly did have to, dearest. It is your birthday, and you know we like going all out for birthdays." Violet said. 

"You all being here is enough, but thank you." Penelope smiled as Portia made her way to her daughter. 

"Well, let me get you something to cover this dress while we eat. We cannot have you messing on it." Portia smiled at her, then made her exit. The room filled with with chatter and laughter pretty quickly. Penelope was in conversation with her sister all while seating Primrose on her lap. Samantha was chatting to Eloise and Daphne, and Penelope was glad she was settling into her role nicely. 

"Sisters, I must confess something to you." Philippa said in a silent declaration. Penelope and Prudence looked at her with curiosity. 

"What is it?" Prudence asked. 

"You will not tell mama just yet, since I am only a few weeks passed my due course." Philippa stated. 

"You are with child?" Penelope asked with a deep smile. 

"I believe so, yes. And I strongly believe it is a boy this time. Little Parker is coming home." Philippa beamed with excitement. 

"Oh, that is marvelous news, sisters." Prudence gave her sister a small hug, a small one not to draw too much attention. Penelope reached over and grabbed her hand. 

"We are thrilled for you, Philippa." Penelope rubbed her knuckles all while a six month old Primrose cried for attention. 

"Would you like me to take her?" Prudence asked. 

"That is quite alright, fun Aunty Penelope will give her all the attention she wants." Penelope turned Primrose to face her, and she made little sounds that made the girl giggle, but then a long yawn escaped her lips. 

"Oh, she might be tired."

"And I suppose you would like to hold her until she sleeps?" Prudence asked, folding her arms. 

"Please, Pru?" Penelope pointed as Philippa looked on in amazement. 

"You have not called me Pru in ages." Prudence smiled. 

"Perhaps I might start again. You have not called me Penny in ages as well, neither of you, actually." Penelope said, placing Primrose carefully against her chest. Primrose placed her head on Penelope's shoulder, overlooking the people behind Penelope.

"Perhaps we might call you Penny as well. Although I must admit, we never did figure out a shortened name for me." Philippa said. 

"Nothing ever sounded good. Remember when Penelope suggested Lip?" Both Prudence and Phillippa started laughing. 

"I still think it is better than Phil. That sounds like a man's name." Penelope said, caressing Primrose's back. 

"What about Philly? Better than Phil and Lip." Prudence asked. 

"I do not like it. Let us just stick to Philippa then." Philippa said. 

"Oh, dear God what is that?" Lady Danbury's voice echoed through the room, making all eyes turn to the door she directed her voice at. Colin Bridgerton stood there, a small gift box in his hand with a bouquet of roses. Yellow roses. He quickly placed the flowers and gift box on the table. His flowers stood out like a sore thumb amongst the neatly wrapped gift boxes. 

"What? You do not like the beard either?" Colin asked, his fingers tracing the stubble beard on his chin. 

"It is ghastly!" Lady Danbury exclaimed. 

"Thank you! I have said the same thing." Violet replied. 

"Lady Featherington -" Colin turned to Penelope's mother. "I believe you have not seem this yet. Is it truly that bad?" Colin asked. 

"Mr Bridgerton, you must remove that facial hair at once." Portia said, resulting in laugher in the room. 

"Someone once told me, just this morning actually, that I look rather distinguished with this beard." Colin proudly said. In truth, he did. The way his full head of brown curls complemented his stubble nicely made for an interesting view for Penelope. 

"Who is this person and why did they lie to you?" Hyacinth asked. 

"Oh, ignore them. I think it looks great, Colin." Simon stood up and patted his brother-in-law's shoulder. 

"Thank you, and if Frannie were here she would agree as well." Colin said. She watched his eyes trace around the room until he found hers. Slowly, she stood up. He quickly made his way to her. 

"Pen." He gasped, and she watched as his eyes traced her dress. "You look wonderful." Thankfully, everyone else had continued their conversation, except her sisters could hear their one pretty closely. 

"Thank you, and I still stand by my statement. That looks distinguished." Penelope pointed at his stubble. 

"And that is why it will stay." He smiled. 

"I am so glad you could make it. The cook will certainly impress you today, I am certain." Penelope said, both her hands holding Primrose. 

"Of course I would come. It is your birthday after all." He replied, until his brother called him aside. Penelope looked around and noticed Benedict was missing from their little gathering, but he certainly knew who he was with. 

"We will speak soon. Anthony summons me." Colin said. He politely greeted prudence and Philippa before leaving. Penelope turned to her sisters. 

"She is probably asleep, right?" Penelope asked. 

"Yes." Prudence said. 

"Should I put her in the nursery?" Penelope asked. 

"We will come with you." Philippa stood up, as did Prudence. 

"There really is no need, sisters. I can manage." Penelope said. 

"We know, but wish to talk to you about whatever we just witnessed." Prudence said. Penelope playfully rolled her eyes and lead them to the nursery upstairs. She slowly lowered Primrose into the crib that would have been Eloise's. 

"Okay, she is down. What is it you think you witnessed?" Penelope asked, pressing her hands on the crib. 

"There was a certain amount of tension there, between you and Mr Colin Bridgerton." Prudence said. 

"There was not." Penelope replied. 

"Oh yes, there was. It is palpable." Philippa added. 

"There is nothing there anyone. It is dead." Penelope regretted her words instantly. 

"Anymore?" Prudence and Philippa asked in unison, and Penelope sighed. 

"You must not breath a word of this to mama, first promise me this." Penelope pointed at her sisters."

"I promise, Penny." Prudence said. 

"Yes, same. I promise." Philippa added. 

"Okay, so the night I got engaged to Alfred, he said he loved me. That is all I wish to say." Penelope folded her arms. 

"Scandalous!" Phillipa wriggled her eyes. 

"Clearly he still does. He bought you flowers." Prudence added. 

"Did you never feel the same way?" Philippa asked. 

"I did, but that was a long time ago. I do not feel that way anymore." Penelope said. 

"Are you certain? Maybe your feelings are just hidden." Prudence asked. 

"I am certain. Now, we are done with this conversation." Penelope warned. 

"Did you love him when you got engaged to Lord Debling?" Prudence asked. Her silence was an indication of her answer to them already. 

"So you did not love Lord Debling, and Colin loved you but you chose to marry Lord Debling either way?" Philippa asked. 

"I grew to love Alfred very quickly. There was plenty to love about him, but Colin was a mere childhood crush turned into love. I did not believe he could love me, so I chose Alfred, and it was the best decision I could have ever made." Penelope sighed. 

"So you do not think you could love him again?" Prudence asked. 

"No, I do not. That was a long time ago and I have gotten over my feelings for Colin. It is in the past." Penelope replied, then the door was pushed further open. 

"They are about to serve the food, girls. Come." Portia said, and Penelope wondered if she had eavesdropped. She hoped her mother had not. 

"Ooh, yum! I am starving." Philippa said in excitement. Prudence placed a gentle kiss on her daughter's head and then they all left to indulge in their meal. 

_

Portia had heard just about everything. Her daughter was once in love with Colin Bridgerton, but she no longer was. And now clearly, Colin Bridgerton loved her. She could not bare to see her daughter go through the rest of her life by herself, and she so vowed to make sure her daughter got the happy ending she deserved. She decided she would meddle. She would recruit the help of Violet and Agatha and she would meddle as hard as she possibly could. 

Chapter Text

Portia Featherington sat in Bridgerton House two Sundays later with a mission in mind. She had made it an intention to arrive well in advance before Penelope, and since the Queen would not be hosting, she thought it might be the perfect time to bring up the conversation she had in mind. 

"Violet, do you sons plan on marrying anytime soon?" She asked, her teacup covering her lips. 

"Oh, Portia. Those two are a lost cause. I have tried and pleaded with them to at least give the ladies a chance during the past social seasons, but Benedict is simply distracted. I can tell. And Colin, well... He is simply more interested in his travels than finding a wife." Violet admitted while reaching for a second scone. 

"Perhaps you should guide them in the direction of women they might find appealing." Agatha suggested. 

"I do not know a thing about Benedict. His intentions have never been clear to me, although I do feel like he is spending a lot more time with Eloise and Penelope. Perhaps Eloise and her way of thinking has rubbed off on him." Violet chuckled. 

"And Colin?" Portia asked. Violet looked up from creaming her scones. 

"Colin is another case entirely. I believe he might be waiting." Violet admitted. 

"And whatever do you mean by that?" Portia asked. 

"He fell in love, but it simply did not work in his favour, Portia. So I believe he is waiting." Violet confessed, and Portia nodded her head. 

"So you know?" Portia asked. 

"Know what?"

"About them?" Portia asked once more. 

"About Colin and Penelope?" Agatha asked, and Portia shot her a shocking look in her direction. 

"You know as well?" Portia asked, stunned. 

"It is as clear as the day." Agatha shrugged. "He brought her roses, for goodness sake." 

"So how come I am the last to find out?" Portia asked, a little stung. 

"How do you know, Portia?" Violet's eyes widened. "Did Penelope say something?" 

"She was talking to Prudence and Phillppa the day of the birthday in the nursery. I overheard her telling them Colin once confessed his love for her, but she chose to marry Lord Debling. Then, she admitted to them she loved him at one point as well." Portia quickly told them. 

"Really?" Violet asked, looking between Agatha and Portia. 

"Indeed, and I am surprised. She believes she could never love him like she once did, but she is still young. She does not know what she speaks of." Portia replied. 

"She may be young, but she is wise beyond words. Perhaps she knows exactly what she is saying." Agatha said. 

"You never truly forget your first love, and Colin loves her. I believe they just need a little nudge in the right direction." Portia suggested. 

"What are you saying, Portia?" Violet asked. 

"I am suggesting we meddle." 

"She has been a widow for two years, Portia. She does not need this, since it looks like she is finally happy with her life." Agatha replied. 

"I understand, but I cannot let my daughter go through life by herself. Sooner or later, Eloise might be married off and have children of her own. I want that for my Penelope said well." Portia sighed. 

"She has had a husband, and a child. Both which she has lost, unfortunately. Do you truly think she might be interested in Colin after all these years?" Violet asked her. 

"She just needs to remember her love for him, that is all. She can be happy, and I want that for her." Portia said. Violet looked uncertain at first, but then she nodded her head. 

"Okay, I will help you. Penelope has long been a member of this family. Perhaps this time we make it official." Violet replied. 

"Perhaps I might as well. If there is one thing I love, it is meddling." Agatha replied. 

"Oh, what are we meddling with now?" Penelope asked as she entered the drawing room. Surprised looks overtook the women as they did not know exactly what to say. 

"We were just discussing my old meddling ways in the marriage mart." Agatha quickly smiled. 

"I would not call it meddling. You have been successful in that regard, Agatha. The Duke and Daphne, and Kate and Anthony. Those are truly loves for the ages you have matched." Penelope said, sitting next to her mother. 

"I was there as well, Penelope." 

"Of course, Violet. Forgive me. You both have matched the loves of the ages." Penelope smiled.

"Perhaps I might join their duo of meddling, and make of a trio." Portia smiled. 

"Even better, mama. Your next meddlesome match will certainly be great." Penelope said, pouring herself a cup of tea. "If you could get Eloise bethrothed, then I will certainly believe in magic." Penelope chuckled. 

"Eloise is not really our target this time around." Agatha replied, and Penelope looked up between the three women. 

"You already have a target?" 

"Of course we do, and this one will be the best match we have ever made." Violet smiled at her. 

"Do not tell me who, I wish to be surprised with everyone else." Penelope said, sipping her tea. Eloise came into the room and threw her arms around Penelope as she sat. 

"I saw your carriage from outside my window so I had to come." Eloise said. 

"So if I had cancelled, would you not have come to tea?" Penelope narrowed her eyes at her friend. 

"Absolutely not! I only come when you do." Eloise told her. 

"It is the truth, sadly." Violet sighed. 

"You need not to miss any more teas. I intend to come for as long as I am allowed to." Penelope said, then Colin and Benedict came into the room. 

"Now this is simply not fair. Why do we never get invitations to Sunday teas?" Benedict asked with a sulk. 

"Because it is for ladies only. You would be bored." Eloise scold her brother. 

"I joined you and Penelope for tea all the time at Debling Manor and I quite enjoyed it." Benedict folded his arms. 

"And then you would disappear for some time." Eloise replied. 

"Where do you run off to, Benedict?" Penelope slyly grinned in his direction. 

"I like admiring the art in your house, that is all. I can see it a million times and I would still be mesmerised by it." Benedict said. Penelope knew he was not speaking of the art. 

"That is nice to hear." Penelope turned back around, facing the ladies. 

"I think we should like to join." Colin said, and they pulled up chairs and joined the circle. 

"Mama, do they really need to stay?" Eloise complained. 

"Just a few minutes ago you said you would not attend if Penelope does not." Violet replied. 

"That is fair, yes." Eloise replied. 

"So, what are we talking about?" Colin asked. 

"I was just about to bring up the news I heard from Lady Harris. You remember her daughter? She was the diamond two seasons ago?" Agatha asked. 

"We remember her, yes. Our mother forced us to talk to her quite a bit, almost at every ball." Benedict said. 

"Force is a strong word, Benedict." Violet said. 

"It certainly felt like force." Colin added under his breath. 

"Anyway, her mama told me she made a match off-season with a bachelor abroad." Agatha said. 

"That is lovely to hear. I am surprised she did not have any suitors lining up for her in the ton." Portia said. 

"You know the social hierarchy, if the Bridgertons are interested in courting someone, suddenly everyone wants to court that same young lady." Agatha said. 

"That is the truth." Portia added. 

"I do not think so." Colin said. 

"Yes, I agree with Colin." Benedict replied. 

"Miss Edwina. She had suitors lining up for her after Anthony declared his intentions to court her. Daphne, the diamond of the season had suitors lining up for her as well because she was the diamond and a Bridgerton. Francesca had two suitors battling for her attention because she was the sparkler and a Bridgerton. Eloise had suitors, she declined them all. You both had very suitable young ladies chasing you, you declined them all. Clearly you must see the influence your last name carries. Last year's diamond did not do too well on the mart because Colin, you were away and Benedict, you did not seem interest." Penelope pointed out. 

"Yes, but that does mean anything. My sisters are beautiful, of course they had suitors interest in them." Colin replied. 

"And because they wanted to be associated with the Bridgerton name." Penelope replied. 

"You have influence here." Agatha said. "It is a good thing."

"So the fact that we do not seem interest in the Diamond means they would be unsuccessful that very season? Is that what I am hearing?" Benedict asked. 

"Very much so." Portia replied. 

"Well, we did not want that kind of influence." Benedict said. 

"We have no intention of courting the Diamond, whomever she may be this coming season." Colin said. 

"How can you be so certain, Colin?" Penelope asked. 

"Because, I know myself. I do not think I might take interest in anyone who might debute this year." Colin said. 

"And what of you, Benedict? Do you feel the same?" Eloise crossed her arms, watching her brother. 

"I think so as well, but if we must court the girl for her to find her true match, I do not think I could do that." Benedict replied. 

"I would not ask you to get into a fake courtship with another lady. Just maybe call on her, dance with her. It might attract potention suitors." Violet said. 

"This feels like we are being used for our last name." Colin replied. 

"Perhaps accept that you are a privilige gentleman with influence. Those poor girls cannot say the same." Eloise said. 

"We will do one dance, mother. That is all." Colin looked at his mother. 

"That is good to hear. Benedict?" Violet asked. 

"One dance, that is all." 

"And by when do the two of you expect to find wives? As Penelope mentioned, the ton is eager to be attached to your last name." Agatha asked. 

"I can think of someone who is not." Colin said, without realising he had spoken aloud. 

"What?" Eloise asked. 

"What did you say, brother?" Benedict folded his arms as well, mimicking Eloise and looking back in amusement. 

"Nothing, I said nothing." Colin said, looking at the treats ahead of him and deciding what would he best to eat. 

"It sounded like you said you could think of one person who is not willing-"

"I know what I said, and it is not worth mentioning again." Colin said, cutting Eloise off. He grabbed a cupcake on display, quickly removed the wrapped and took a large bite. 

"This is lovely!" 

"Chew with your mouth closed, Colin." Violet warned. 

"Well, a change of topic will be good. I suppose I should mention to you all that I will be moving to Bloomsbury soon. I think it is time." Penelope announced. 

"That is good, Pen! Just a few more years and we can be roommates." Eloise replied. 

"Are you quite certain you are ready?" Agatha asked. 

"I believe so, yes. Samantha has taken over with the accounts and ledgers. I have taught her well, and her children are adjusting nicely into their lives. They do not need me anymore." Penelope said. 

"That is lovely to hear, Penelope." Violet said. "And Bloomsbury is not far, so we will still see you as often as we please." 

"That is exactly why I chose Bloomsbury, and I got a look at the property. It is beautiful! I must find ways to fill all those vacant rooms though." 

"You spoke about an extended library, and a room for me, of course." Eloise replied. 

"I take it Rae will be going with you?" Portia asked. 

"I will take Rae with me wherever I go. She truly is the best, and Sophie as well. Since she and Rae had gotten so close, I cannot seperate them." Penelope said. 

"Sophie's going too?" Benedict asked. 

"Since when do you know Penelope's staff by name?" Eloise asked. 

"She is extremely helpful when I come over. I know most of the staff." Benedict defended. 

"Yes, she will be joining us. It is a pity I cannot take the cook as well." Penelope said. 

"That is a pity." Colin said. "Now I will need to became friends with Miss Samantha to receive good food from your cook." 

"Do not worry, the cook will be giving me a list of recommendations she swears are just as good as her." Penelope replied. 

"That is good news, indeed." Colin smiled. 

___

Another week had gone by, and Penelope was looking around her home in Bloomsbury. Alfred had picked out a name for this property. The Nest. It is simple and suitable for the environment. It was cosy and comfortable, just as Penelope wished for. 

"Penelope, you have a caller." Rae came into her outer room just outside her bedchambers. Bloomsbury was famous for their outer rooms outside each other the bedchambers. With was usually decorated with art and seating arrangement, similar to a drawing room, but different. 

"My first caller, how exciting!" Penelope jumped up from the settee and followed Rae to the drawing room. Facing the fireplace stood Colin Bridgerton. She could tell alone by his head of hair. 

"You are my first caller? Of course you are." Penelope said, and her voice made him turn. She noticed her held yet another bouquet of yellow roses. 

"We are basically neighbours, so I had to come by." He said. 

"You brought flowers, how lovely!" Penelope stepped closer to him, and he gave her the flowers. She could not help but smell the roses, closing her eyes as she sniffed. "They are beautiful, but I must ask. Why the yellow roses?" Penelope asked, holding them in her arms like a sleeping baby. 

"My time in Venice taught me the significance of certain flowers, and the yellow roses are the quintessential friendship flowers. They symbolise friendship, happiness and possibly, new beginnings." Colin proudly smiled. 

"New beginnings, you say? And what new beginning did you have in mind regarding our friendship?" Penelope asked. 

"A possible courtship, if you are ready." Penelope's smile faded. This was not what she needed at the moment. All she needed was her friend, Colin. 

"Colin-"

"I do not mean right away, simply when you are ready. Whether it is in two years or ten, I just want the opportunity to court you properly." Colin confessed. 

"You would sit and wait ten years for me?" She asked. 

"You are worth the wait, Penelope." He said. 

"I do not wish to be courted, Colin. Certainly not now." She sighed. 

"I understand, and this me just me saying that when you are ready, I am here." Colin bowed. "Good day, Pen." She curtseyed. 

"Good day, Colin." Penelope turned and watched him leave. He was willing to wait for her, even if it took her years to completely open her heart again to the possibility of love.

Chapter Text

It had been roughly a month since Colin's last encounter with Penelope, and within those few weeks Lord John Stirling had unfortunately, passed away. The family stayed in Scotland to support their sister, Francesca during this difficult time. Although Colin knew how much Francesca valued her privacy, he knew she was grateful to have every single Bridgerton in their castle. 

The days in Scotland always seemed gloomy and mysterious, and when he saw his sister standing on the balcony, her hair blowing with the light night wind, he could sense her pain instantly. As he approached her, her hands rested easily on her little baby bump. She was well into her first trimester, and Colin knew Francesca did all she could to keep her unborn baby safe. 

"Crying stresses the baby out too much!"

"You must not cry, it is harmful to the baby."

"Stress can lead to you losing the baby."

He had heard multiple women tell his sister those sentences, and he wondered how she was able to hold herself together so well. Frannie proved to be strong. Stronger than any of his siblings combined. 

"Colin, I did not see you come in." Francesca wiped her tears away with a small smile. 

"Forgive me, sister. But I simply had to see you before sleep." Colin replied. 

"Please do not tell anyone I am crying. They will tell me it is not good." Frannie said, then turning her head forward to overlook the hills and mountains. 

"Of course not. Though in fact, I think it is rather unfair." Frannie turned to her brother with a curious look. 

"What is?"

"That you have not been able to properly express the grief you are going though." Colin said. 

"I am with child. Anything that upsets me could make me lose this baby. We have tried for so long to have a baby, but we simply fell short everytime. I will take their advice and follow every rule they give. This baby will be born." Francesca said with a reassuring nod. 

"I was not aware you were trying for such a long period."

"It is not something you discuss with you brother, but mama knew. I wanted children almost immediately after we got married, but we were never truly blessed with them in the beginning. Now, here I am. With child. And John is not here for it." She said, then looked away from her brother. He could sense she wanted to cry. The way she chocked on her words and her eyes widened and glistening with tears. 

"Frannie, you can let it all out." Colin said, and she shook her head vigorously. 

"I cannot. I cry in small doses. I cannot afford to break down." She said, her head still moving. 

"Frannie-"

"Colin, please. I cannot. You simply would not understand." Francesca pleads. 

"No, this is simply not right, sister. You have lost someone to you loved dearly, and crying is a natural part of the healing process. You must allow yourself to grief." Francesca did not need much convincing afterwards, because then he felt his sister's head against his chest, crying with tears soaking into his shirt. Her sobs were uncontrollably painful, and long. All Colin could do was wrap his arms around her, hoping he could comfort her as best as he could in her distress. They stayed like that a a moment, basically as long as Francesca needed him to be present. 

And afterwards, he suggested she get some sleep and so, she took his advice and went to sleep. Colin stayed until she was out, then made his way to his room. 

__

The next morning, his family gathered by the table to break fast, and he had quickly become fast friends with Michael Stirling. Although the mood was sombre and dark, given the circumstances, he could not help but wonder where his mother, Kate and Daphne had been. They had not joined the family at the table, as well as Francesca. He assumed they were with Frannie. 

"I do hope mother comes soon. There will be no more food left, as well as our sisters." Gregory said as he shoved a breakfast muffin in his mouth. 

"You will be the reason, certainly. For the first time it will not be Colin." Hyacinth added.

"Children, behave." Benedict warned.

"Anthony, where are mother, Kate and Daphne?" Colin asked. 

"They were called to Francesca's bedchambers." Anthony replied, and Colin's concern for Frannie's well-being only grew. 

"Perhaps we should check up on them." Colin suggested. 

"I believe it was a pressing woman matter. That does not concern us. I did not ask questions." Anthony replied. 

"Could it be regarding the babe?" Hyacinth asked, and they looked at her with concern. 

"I should hope not, dear sister." Eloise voiced up. 

"Me neither. She could be carrying the next heir." Michael replied. 

"And that would be so very unfortunate for you, Mr Stirling." Eloise said, looking his way. 

"Quite the opposite, actually. I admire my freedom. If she is carrying a girl, I would inherit the estate. I do not want that for myself." Michael replied. 

"I do hope everyone is well with Francesca." Colin said, worry laced in his voice. 

"Me too, brother. Let us hope for the best." Anthony said. 

__

Violet Bridgerton, for most of her life, wanted only the best for her children. She shielded them from the harsh realities of life and gave them all they could possibly have. She never made them feel like they were lacking anything. She loved her children ferociously. However, it broke her heart seeing her daughter go through so much pain. A call had come in the early hours of the morning stating Francesca required her presence, as well as Daphne and Kate's. Violet rushed over, and she saw her daughter in the most devastating position. She was curled up, her knees pressed to her chest as she hugged her legs. Blood stains covered her bed sheets, and it was quite a lot. 

"Oh, dearest!" Violet said in a silent sigh as she rushed next to her daughter, pulling her close to her. Violet layed her head against her chest, and Francesca's position remained. Kate and Daphne followed afterwards, closing the door behind them. 

"I did not know what else to do. She does not speak, she refuses to move." Jen, Francesca's lady maid said. 

"You did the right thing calling us. We will call if we need your assistance." Kate said, and Jen left the room. 

"Frannie?" Daphne asked as she sat by the foot of the bed, looking at her sister. When Violet walked in, all she saw was Francesca's widened and cold eyes. 

"Take as much time as you need. We are here, sister." Kate said, sitting a little closer to Violet and Francesca. Violet's eyes were laced with tears, as were Daphne's. They knew what had happened, as did Kate. They were certain Francesca knew as well. 

A long few minutes had passed, until Francesca moved away from her mother. 

"I must get cleaned up. My bedchambers are a mess." She tried moving, but Violet noticed her stop and hold her stomach. A look of discomfort washed over her. 

"Francesca?" Violet asked. 

"It is nothing, mama. Just a little pain." She shook her head. "Call Jen. She can draw me a bath and we can get this over with." Francesca moved slowly off the bed, and Kate got up and called for Jen. 

__

Sometime had passed, and Francesca was still getting cleaned up by Jen. Kate had called for a doctor urgently, but they were unaware of the panic it caused downstairs. 

"That is a doctor!" Michael said, standing and pointing to the main holding his medical briefcase as one of the helpers escorted him upstairs. Eloise stood as well, and as her siblings were arguing over what might have happened, she ran after the doctor. She watched as he entered Francesca's bedchambers. Eloise, with some hesitation, placed her hand on the door handle. She took some deep breaths, then turned on the handle. She saw Kate and Daphne talking to the doctor, and they quickly turned to Eloise. 

"Eloise, you should not be here." Daphne said. 

"I am worried about our sister, I-" she cut herself off as her eyes trailed towards her mother sitting on a bed filled with blood stains. She exhaled heavily, then shut the door behind her. 

"That is a lot of blood," she breathed out, almost in utter disbelief. "Pen bled that much. She lost her baby when she bled that much." Eloise said as she recalled memories from Penelope's accident. She tried to shake them away, but finding her best friend in a pool of her own blood was traumatic. And now, her sister? 

"Did she-" Eloise asked, turning to her mother. "Is the babe okay? Is Frannie okay?" 

"Eloise, she is fine. The babe-" Violet said. 

"Is not fine?" Eloise asked. 

"No, dear. I am afraid she lost the baby." Violet sighed, as did Eloise. 

"Why does this keep happening? Why does this happen to people who does not deserve this level of pain? I certainly cannot understand it!" Eloise replied, a little frustrated and angry. 

"Eloise-"

"No, tell me, mother? Penelope is a good person. Francesca is a good person and yet they both lost husband's and babies?" Eloise shouted. 

"Francesca is still in pain. Do not let her hear you." 

"They should not be experiencing this level of pain! I should not have seen my best friend covered in blood and witness the light leave her eyes when she discovered her baby was dead! I should not have seen my sister's bedsheets covered in blood days after losing her husband! Why is the universe punishing good people?" Eloise yelled. 

"It has been two years since Penelope's incident, and I can tell you still have not dealt with it properly. Today is proof of that." Violet said. 

"This is not about what I have been dealing with, mama. It is about good people-" she sighed, then started to cry. "Francesca does not deserve this." 

Violet got up and hugged Eloise. 

"I know, my dear. Neither did Penelope." Violet whispered. 

"She was so excited to be a mother, mama. She used to talk about it a lot when I used to stay here." Eloise confessed. 

"I know, Eloise." 

"She does not deserve this."

London (Francesca decided to move back home with the family)

Francesca was all but mute. Talking did not seem significant. She was so filled with emptiness she did not think breathing was worth it any longer. She could not believe what her life had become, and at such a young age she was made a widow. She could not understand why this fate was chosen for her when all she had ever done is keep to herself. Francesca was considerably kind and caring, and compassionate and loving at nature. 

Violet grew increasingly concerned for her sweet daughter. Whenever anyone would check up on her, she would be curled up in her bed or staring out the window. She could not even respond to any questions, not even simple yes or no questions. And so, she assumed her daily duties and checked in on Frannie whenever she got. Violet ensured she got food and the doctor would come by and check up on her health. She was fit as a fiddle, only going through insurmountable emotional pain. 

Colin assumed he would be the one to end his favorite sister's mute state. He went in, spoke of his day, asked her how she was, if there was anything he could do and how he was there for her if she needed just about anything. He even made a jest, but she was unresponsive. He had even made a jest she had heard before, one she had laughed her ear off to, but still, she remained in her silent state. 

Eloise was worried. She knew after Penelope had lost her child, she still had Alfred with her, even though it was a short while. Francesca, however, did not have her child to comfort her after her husband's death, or her husband to comfort her after their child's death. It was the same, but different. Penelope had come out of her daze after two weeks, but Francesca had been tied up in her room for nearly two weeks, and it seemed like she no longer had an interest in anything. Eloise had gone above and beyond for her sister, got in contact with a pianist to send some new music sheets for her sister, but not even the pianoforte could ease her.

And so, Eloise made her way to Bloomsbury to visit her friend. She was forbidden to travel alone, so her ladymaid accompanied her. It was a good thing her new ladymaid, Hannah had become fast friends with Rae and Sophie. She would have someone to talk to while Eloise and Penelope gathered for hours straight. Only this time, Eloise wanted to talk about Francesca and talk about how she felt seeing bloodnfrom both Pen and Frannie. It was something she needed to discuss with Penelope. These unresolved issues her mother had spoken of, she was right. 

Eloise had buried those traumatic cries and painful pleas of Penelope in the back of her mind. She had ignored the blood she saw on her hands and in her dress. She had forgotten entirely that the dress was cleaned out and looked brand new. In fact, she stirred that dress away to repress memories of that day. 

She wanted to talk about Francesca and ask her for some advice. She hated seeing her sister in such pain, and Penelope had been in a similar situation. She needed for speak to Penelope to ease Frannie's mind somehow. Her sister was in pain, and she became determined to assist her in any means necessary. 

"My, my! Another Bridgerton. Are we having a party, perhaps?" Rae asked as she escorted Eloise to drawing room. 

"Who else is here?" Curiosity peaked in Eloise's question. 

"Your brother, Mr Colin Bridgerton." Rae smiled. 

"When did he arrive? Are they in the drawing room?" 

"He arrived a short while ago, and no, they are in the garden." 

"Then I shall make my way there was well." Eloise exclaimed. 

"I shall eacort you." Rae turned, facing Eloise. 

"There is no need, Rae. I know the way. Perhaps you could keep Hannah company." 

__

Penelope garden was large, not as big as the Bridgerton Garden, or as massive as the garden at Debling Manor, but it was still large. It was easy to spot Penelope, her hair was a given. Beside her stood her brother, basically towering over her. Eloise watched as Penelope looked up at her brother, her neck arching behind. It proved just how tall Colin was, or it could somewhat be a show of how short Penelope truly was. Hyacinth and Gregory were basically her height in flat shoes. 

Eloise decoded then and there, as she approached them slowly, she would somehow manage to scare them with a loud scream. Slowly, she crept up to the two and as she approached, their conversation became clearer. 

"It was a moment of weakness, nothing more." Eloise heard Penelope, desperately trying to convince Colin of this statement. 

"Penelope, we were intimate in more ways than unmarried people should be." Eloise froze. She wished she could turn, but she was far too invested and too far out in the garden. 

Why do I always manage to eavesdrop inappropriate conversations between these two?

She recalled the night she overheard their talks of a kiss they shared. Now, it seemed like more than kissing had occured. 

"I was crying. Everything that had happened to Francesca felt too close to home. You were there, and you comforted me. I should not have suggested you stay." Penelope cried out. 

"But I wanted to, and I wanted to do everything we did. You must believe me, Penelope, you did not trick me into anything I willingly participated in." Eloise rolled her eyes. After Penelope had spoken to her of the martial act, she assumed they performed it, unmarried!

Colin is a dead man walking!!!

"It feels as such. I should not have put you in that position." Penelope sighed.

Eloise took a few small steps back, then searched the garden for a distraction. Defeated, she found none after holding out hope she might. And so, she jumped up and when her feet hit the ground with a large thud, she faked a large smile and pointed at both Colin and Penelope. 

"Surprised! It is I, your best friend and sister." She said all while examining their faces. Colin seemed as white as a ghost, and Penelope's eyes were widened with shock. Her mouth fell open. 

"What? Is this not a good surprise?" Eloise asked, lowering her arms. 

"No, it is a good one. I certainly was not expecting you, Eloise." Penelope looked up at Colin for a second then made her way to Eloise. Eloise stared a hole in Colin's head as Penelope hugged her. She planned to rip his off for compromising her unmarried friend. Clearly it sounded like he took advantage of a lady in distress. She wanted to rip his head off and feed it to hungry dogs. 

"I have missed you. I have not seen you since you left for Scotland." Penelope turned Eloise around and with her arm on Eloise's shoulder, Penelope guided her inside. Eloise turned back to Colin, and he was not following, and so she turned back around.

"Colin, are you joining us? I assume this is your first time seeing Pen since Scotland." Eloise said, knowing very well it was far from the truth. 

"Uh, yes. Did not see her since Scotland. I have said my hellos, but I must get going now." Colin said, and Eloise looked at Penelope, who remained fixated on the door. She did not turn to face Colin, and Colin walked right pass them and once he was far enough, she turned to face them. 

"Eloise, I shall see you tomorrow. Pen, it was good to see you. Hopefully we can meet up again." Colin said, and Eloise recognised the look on his face. He seemed distressed and confused. 

"Of course, travel safe, Colin." 

"Travel safe? He lives nearby!" Eloise chuckled. Perhaps that was the problem. They lived too close to one another. Although, they did live right opposite one another at one point. But this, with both of them having the freedom they have was far too risky. Pen and Eloise had dreams. Colin would simply damper then. 

"Are you hungry?" Eloise heard, and Penelope looked at her with a smile. "The cook has just finished preparing lunch. You must eat with me." Penelope said, and when she looked at the door, Colin was already on his way. Eloise dropped her fake smile, and her face turned serious. Her eyes lingered on Penelope's blue ones. 

"What was that?" Eloise asked, pointing at Colin. 

"What was what?" 

"That. With Colin?" Eloise asked, a little annoyed. 

"I do not know what you speak of. Now come, food must be served. I am starving." Penelope smiled, then walked ahead, into the house. Eloise stood and watched for a few seconds, then followed after. She was determined to know the truth. She already knew what could have possibly transpired, but she needed to know more of what happened between her brother and her best friend. 

Chapter Text

Two days earlier...

Penelope Debling was a complete and utter wreck! Yes, she had made it through two years as a widow, staying strong and holding the emotions back, but she knew she would reach her breaking point someday. Penelope admired Lady Danbury, or as she insisted Penelope call her, Agatha. She was such an inspiration, and a strong-willed woman of the ton. She held much power, and Penelope, although she wanted to live a small life, wanted to be just as independent and strong-willed as Agatha. Penelope wanted to reach her old age with such grace without a husband. Just living the rest of her life in her Dower home with Eloise. 

"Rae?" Penelope called out, hoping her housekeeper heard her, or as the staff called her, Miss Rae. Penelope called Rae, Miss Rae in front of the staff of her home, but when they were alone, they were simply Penelope and Rae. 

"Yes, Penelope?" Rae asked as she appeared. 

"Do you think the cook made something sweet? I know we just had dinner, but I think something sweet would make me feel a lot better." Penelope asked. Her legs were crossed on her bed with tissues all around her. She probably looked like a mess before Rae. Her nose red, her eyes redder and her cheeks burning red. Basically, she was red. 

"Are you quite alright?" Rae asked, looking concerned as she sat at the foot of the bed quickly. 

"Very well, Rae. Just thinking." Penelope shrugged. 

"About them?" Rae asked with a soft voice. 

"Yes."

"Okay, this is what we will do. Ice cream is best in situations of sorrow. I will get you the largest bowl and I will warm up the fire some more for you." Rae said with a small smile. 

"Ice cream and the fireplace? Is that not an odd combination?" Penelope asked with scrunched eyebrows. 

"Technically, it is not. You eat ice cream on a hot day, and you will be sitting in front of the fireplace eating ice cream. It is kind of the same if you think about it." Rae said. 

"Technically, yes. And that does sound delightful." Penelope smiled. "Thank you, Rae." 

"You are welcome. Coming right up." Rae got up and left the room in a hurry. Penelope gathered her tissue and discarded them, then got a blanket and sat on the carpet by the fireplace in her bedchambers and wrapped herself with the blanket around her shoulders, her legs crossed and her body warming up instantly. 

She stared at the almost died out fore before her, the art of the flames pushing through for that warmth she so loved. Her mind became clear and her worries eased up. She needed that cry, that so, very ugly and private cry. She recalled hugged her knees pressed to her stomach with her head resting atop her knees. A little while later, Rae entered the room with a bowl of ice cream on a tray with some sweets next to it. 

"There, and if you would like some company, you have a visitor." Penelope looked up at Rae who towered over her. 

"At this hour?" Penelope asked. 

"The Bridgertons are back from Scotland, and you know they love popping in at odd hours." Rae smiled, and Penelope did too. Eloise's company was just what she needed. It had to be her. Eloise had a knack for coming over at inconvenient times, but Penelope simply embraced it. 

"You should probably get another bowl of ice cream. We will sit by the fireplace together." Penelope shrugged. 

"Are you quite certain I should allow h-"

"Yes, Rae. It does not matter." Penelope said, then grabbed her bowl from the tray, grabbed a spoonful and placed it in her mouth. The coldness instantly hitting the top of her mouth, which felt satisfying since the fire heated up nicely before her. Rae added more wood to the fire, and Penelope watched in awe as it grew hotter and bigger. 

"Thank you, Rae." Penelope said, moving slightly back and wrapping the blanket around her more securely. Rae smiled as she left, and sometime later, Rae returned and she looked at her housekeeper with surprise.

"Colin?" Penelope said, standing up. She pulled her cosy blanket from the floor and threw it over herself once more. 

"Pen, Rae said you wanted to sit before the fire. That is a grand idea." Colin said, sitting where Penelope sat with a bowl of ice cream. 

"Yes, it certainly is." Penelope replied, looking back at Rae with burning eyes. "Just give me a minute, will you?" Penelope did not give Colin time to respond. In fact, she left her own bedchamber with Rae and closed the door behind her. Once they were further away from the door in the outer bedchamber, Penelope let go of her hand. 

"You let Colin into my bedchamber?" Penelope asked with a screaming whisper. 

"I tried warning you!" Rae mimicked in return. 

"You should have tried harder! I expected Eloise." Penelope said. 

"I thought you knew it was him!" 

"Now why would I let him into my bedchamber with my nightgown on?" Penelope asked, folding her arms. 

"I do not know, but propriety goes out the window between the two of you." Rae replied as Penelope sighed. "We are talking about the same man who used to bribe me for some alone time with you." 

"That was long ago, Rae. It is different now." Penelope said, unfolding her arms. 

"Different how?"

"Just different, Rae. Do you think I should get dressed and escort him to the drawing room?" Penelope asked, pulling her blanket up that almost slipped off. 

"In that order, no." Rae smirked. 

"It is no laughing matter, Rae. There is a man in my bedchamber!" 

"Not just any man, it is Mr Colin Bridgerton. Perhaps you can talk to him about what you have been crying about." Rae suggested. 

"I will, but with Eloise. Now do I look decent enough?" Penelope asked, pulling her blanket off her entirely. Penelope was dressed in a white night dress, long with a thick frill strap. The dress was was lengthed aboved her ankles with little flowers sewn in white cotton. Her hair was loosened, her curls nicely brushed out. She still knew she looked a mess, especially her face since she had just finished crying. 

"You look presentable. Just keep the blanket wrapped around you. It is the best we can do right now." Rae took the blanket and wrapped it around her. The blanket was large and fluffy, and Rae tucked it in nicely. "No go. Do you want me to call you for a house emergency in twenty minutes or so?" 

"That is not necessary, Rae. It will be fine." Penelope sighed as she marched on over the door. She gave Rae one last look before opening the door. 

As she entered, Colin looked up at her, but her eyes were merely focused on the fireplace. The room grew warmer. Sooner or later she would need to remove the blanket because it would be too hot. She prayed that moment would never come. 

"You are back." Colin smiled, tapping the seat next to him. Kindly, she smiled as she sat next to him. 

"Yes, just some things with Rae I had to deal with." Penelope replied, which basically was the truth. 

"Well, we came back from Scotland. Francesca is with. She says she can no longer stay at the castle." The mention of Francesca's name brought back so many emotions for Pen. She fixed her eyes once more on the fireplace. "I feel so useless." Her eyes immediately went to the side of his face, as he looked at the fire this time. 

"Why?"

"My sister. She is going through so much. And I want to take her pain away, but I do not know how." Colin said. 

"You just have to be there for her, support her. She knows you are there for her, and that she all she needs right now." Penelope assured him. 

"She does not speak. How does she know?" His eyes still fixed on the fire. 

"Because I knew my family and friends were there for me through all my trials and tribulations." She sighed, and then his eyes met hers. 

"Pen?" He asked, a little uncertain.

"Yes, Colin?" She asked, certainly uncertain as to what he might ask. 

"When you read about what happened to Francesca, did it bring back old memories for you?" Colin asked her. 

"It did. In fact, I have been a mess since then, if you cannot tell." Penelope said. 

"You are not a mess. You look perfect right now." His little voice ignited a spark she had not felt in a long time, because he called her perfect. Her breath hitched slightly, and she knew he noticed it. "You have always been perfect, Penelope. Despite all you have been through, your perfection never wavered." 

"Colin-"

"Pen, you must believe me. I know you will try to fight me on this." 

"I was not going to fight you, just embrace it. I simply wanted to say thank you, because I needed to hear something like that, especially today." Penelope replied. 

"Why today, in particular?" Colin asked her. Their eyes were still fixed on one another. 

"Because I have been crying all day in private, on my bed." Penelope shrugged. 

"Pen, I am so sorry." His eyes went down to her knees as did his hands. She could tell he probably wanted to take her hands into his, and so she did something, something utterly ridiculous. She moved the blanket slightly, revealing her hands. He smiled as he took her hand. That was her first mistake.

"It is alright, Colin. And with Francesca, I know she is your favourite sister. I will not tell Eloise, but you are a good man with good values. You will try everything to ensure she smiles again, that I know." She said, smilingly softly. 

"You make me seem like such a wonderful man." He said, looking at her hands as he rubbed his thumbs over her knuckles. 

"That is because you are, Colin." Perhaps she should not have said it out loud, but he was. That was her second mistake. 

"And with you, I cannot say for certain if it will ever get easier, but I do know I will be there for you every step of the way, Pen. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I will be there. You want to vent, I will be there. You want to do something so crazy even Eloise will not approve, I will be there." Penelope smiled, and then she cried. A weird culmination of all her feelings throughout the day came through in her sobs and her tears, and Colin reacted as he would. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around her. He moved his hand to the back of her head so he could move it towards his shoulder, where she cried on. 

__

Colin knew coming to her bedchamber was a bad idea, considering how he felt about her, but he would never do anything to dishonour Penelope. He wondered if she knew it was him who had called upon her, or if she assumed it was someone else, like Eloise, perhaps. But alas, he accepted Rae's invitation to her bedchamber before the fireplace.

And now here they were, wrapped in each other's arms and she was crying on his shoulder. The way her hair cascaded down her own shoulders with the reflection of the fire against it, and their skin, was truly a vision before him. She was truly the most mesmerising woman he had ever seen in his life. His fingers were intertwined in her hair, holding the back of her head as she cried. His other hand held her just above her hips, holding her closer. The way she held him assured Colin she felt safe. And then, her warmth that bounced off her body to his left, making him long for the warmth of her against him. 

"Forgive me, Colin." She pushed back, pulling the blankets closer to her and then she wiped her tears away. 

"Do not apologize, Pen." He said, and he found himself just wanting to be up in her personal space, in her face, holding her hand. He moved closer as she moved back, perhaps a little too much, because then she must have assumed he wanted something else, so she stood up on an instant. 

"Are you not tired?" He felt like a fool for letting his body linger that close to her, and he almost forgot what she had asked with her back facing him. 

"Uh, no entirely. I just had to come see you before heading home." He replied. 

"Well, you have seen me. Today has not been a good day. Perhaps you would like to come back tomorrow?" Penelope asked him, and he could not lie. He felt hurt, but then he let out a long and fake yawn. 

"Perhaps I should get going then. You need your rest as well." Penelope turned around and she had a look on her face, one he was quite certain he had seen before. He could not remember where he had seen it, but nonetheless, it was a look of desperation, of pain, a look of humiliation, perhaps. 

"Colin?" She asked, then as if she were being chased, she rushed to where she sat, beside him. The weight of her body rested on her knees as they pressed against the mat they sat on. 

"Pen?" Colin asked, unsure as to what she might ask him, or tell him. 

"We are friends." Penelope stated, and he looked a little confused. 

"I believe we are, yes." 

"Right, now if you were friends with any other lady in the ton, would you agree to see them in their bedchamber?" Penelope asked, and Colin knew the answer. He would not. 

"No, I would simply wait until that friend was ready to see me in the drawing room, where all callers wait." Colin replied. He knew she was going to make a point somehow. 

"Right, so why did you agree to see me here?" Penelope asked. Somewhere along his answer the blanket had slipped from her shoulders and her arms were bare, exposed and visible to him. His eyes traced them all the way down to her fingers, and she did not bother covering her exposed skin. 

"Why did you tell Rae to let me in?" He asked as his eyes trailed back to her ocean blue eyes. 

Oh, those eyes will be the death of me!

"To be honest, Rae said a Bridgerton was here, and I assumed it was Eloise." Penelope said. 

"Do you think my mother will let Eloise out this time of the night unchaperoned?" Colin asked. 

"It is not that late, and she comes with Hannah." Penelope replied. 

"It is late. They suggested I go home because it is rather late." Colin said. 

"And yet here you are." Penelope shrugged. 

"I had to come see you. Then yet another person suggested I leave." He said, letting his hurt seep through his voice, and Penelope tilted her head. 

"I lied, I want you to stay." 

__

That was her third mistake, telling him to stay. 

"You want me to stay?" Colin asked her, and that feeling she once had, that flutter, came back at the sound of his soft voice asking her a simple question. 

"Yes, Colin. So will you stay?" Penelope asked, stepping into dangerous water, considering what she wanted to ask him. 

"I will." He said as his body turned towards the fire. Penelope watched as he smiled, as did she. Then, her hand, like it had a mind of its own, reached up and held his chin, turning his face to hers. He leaned in earlier, probably an indication that he wanted to kiss her, and he did not ask her. So, she did not ask him either. 

Her fingers slowly unballed from the position under his chin and her fingers made contact with the skin against cheek. She looked at her fingers, and she registered quickly what she was doing, and she had no desire to stop. His eyes were on fixed on hers as she finally made contact with his blue eyes. This time, she moved closer to him, and he mimicked her movement and met her halfway. 

And so, on a regular Friday night, Penelope Debling kissed Colin Bridgerton for the second time in her life, and it was remarkable!

___

The feeling of Penelope against his lips brought back that nostalgic feeling after the first time, that feeling when he knew she was the one for him, and only him. That feeling that struck him like thunder from above that forced him to notice her, to treasure her, to love her. And only her. She kissed him, so he kissed her back at her pace. Slow, steady but still remarkably satisfying. His eyes poke open for a mere second when he felt her tongue against his bottom lip, asking for entry which he so happily granted. He cupped her face with both his hands, trying to pull her closer physically, despite being in each other's faces. The feeling of her tongue against his sent exciting thrills down his spine. This was Penelope, the woman he so deeply loved and admired, and he was going to show her just how much. 

Slowly, he moved his hand to the back of her head and using his body, he guided them both down, Penelope underneath him, Colin on top of her. For that move, their lips never parted, and he wondered just how long they could go without air. Penelope's legs stretched out beneath him, so his hand traveled down her arm, the side of her body pass her hips down to her knees, where she bent one of her legs close to his hand. He tucked his hand under her knees where they bent, feeling her soft skin.

After kissing her so passionately and so seductively, he released his lips from her and she instantly took a long deep breath. Colin did too, but he did not want to lose their momentum so he used his lips for other gains. He peppered her chin and her neck with soft kisses and when he reached the sweetest spot in her neck, he sucked. Her breath hitched through her mouth, which made his lightly smile, but he never once stopped. Penelope pulled him closer to her, his body resting between her legs, his pelvis against her stomach. He gave the other side of her neck that same, sweet attention, getting the same reaction from her once more, but then he felt her hands press against his chest and before he could allow her to push him away, he got up. 

"Do you wish for me to stop?" He examined her expression after this question. Her lips were swollen in bliss, her breathing heavy as her chest heaved. 

"I do not wish for you to stop." She sighed out, and it did not take him a second longer to continue. Penelope made fast work with his coat, pushing them off his shoulders as they kissed again. She tossed it aside with ease, then all still while kissing, dangerously, quickly and sloppily, she worked on his buttons. She moved her face away from his after loosening his buttons. 

__

Penelope propped herself up using her elbows as Colin leaned over her, their noses tips together as they gazed into each other's eyes. 

"Do you want more?" Colin whispered. Penelope reached up and placed her warm hand against his chest, running her fingers through his chest hair, all the way down to his belt buckle. 

"So much more, Colin." She gasped, her lips parted once more. His lips brushed against hers, and she was too slow to hold it in place because then he leaned back, still on his knees. She missed the way her fingers felt against his chest, so instead, she positioned herself back in place, propped up on both her elbows as she watched Colin remove his shirt. His eyes never leaving hers. He tossed it to where she tossed his jacket.

There he was with a bare chest before her. She raked her eyes over his bare skin with complete lust. She was certain her eyes had darkened at the sight of the man before her. She noticed the bulge in his pants, and she wanted nothing more than to see him release it from its confines. Instead, he did not. He rested his hands on both her thighs. He looked up at her front his position, and Penelope nodded her head quickly. He lifted the night dress gathered between her legs up, exposing her to him. She shuddered as his fingers traced over her wet folds, lowering her elbows and her head rested on the blanket underneath her. His fingers worked magic on her. His slow, antagonizing stroked pushed her over the edge, and she quickly hoped he would just insert them in her. The teasing made her hotter (despite already laying in front of the fireplace) and her body trembled with every touch. 

"Colin, I-" she cut herself off with a long, deep and pleasurable gasp as his finger entered her. He pumped slowly at first, but then picked up the pace. Her moans filled up the room, and she covered placed her arm over her mouth to muffle the sound, especially when he entered a second finger. His pace increased with rapid speed as she squeezed his fingers. 

"Colin, please!" She exclaimed as she lowered her arm. 

"What do you need?" He asked in a husky voice. 

"More!" She pleaded, but she in no way wanted him to stop at all. When he pulled his fingers out, the coldness covered her quickly. 

"Why did you stop?" She asked, looking up at him. Penelope watched as he raised both his fingers and licked them. Penelope knew Colin was experienced in this regard, but the way she wanted to pounce his bones at that act alone made her think of herself a certain way. A harlot, perhaps. But she knew she wanted to watch him do that again and again and again. She moaned as he sucked his fingers dry, growing wetter every second. He was savouring her taste, and it was probably the most erotic thing Penelope had ever seen in her life. It made her want him even more. She did not waste anymore time. She got herself up on her knees and pulled him to her, kissing him. She hoped he could taste a bit of what he was tasting, and when she did, she moaned. As did he. She moved her hands towards his buckle and undid it with ease. The sound of his pants hit the carpet with a silent thud. She felt him poke against her stomach. 

She pulled him by the neck towards the floor, where he hovered over her once more. He quickly removed his pants, then prepared himself to entered her. One of his hands held his member as the other held her face. Penelope was clouded with lust only. It had been so long since she felt the embrace of another, and it was beginning to show. She lowered the straps of her night dress aside, freeing her breasts. Colin gasped at the sight of them, and he could not help but cup one of them. He squeezed them hard, but pleasurably hard and before Penelope knew it, he pushed himself in. Her back arched slightly, her chest against his. 

"Are you okay?" Colin asked. 

"Yes, now move." She requested while adjusting to the length of him. Slowly, he moved and Penelope was in paradise. He started moaning her name quickly as he picked up his pace, and Penelope grabbed his face so their lips could meet. It was purely orgasmic as they moaned into each other's mouth, a level of intimacy she had had not experience.

She did not realise just how loud she was when his pace quickened like speed and his tongue swirled over her hardened nipple. She could not count the amount of times she arched her back, but she retaliated by wrapping her legs around his waist and clawing her nails into his back. Somehow, this gave Colin greater access to a spot he started hitting over and over, which made her see stars as she rolled her eyes back and curled her tiny toes. 

"Ahhhh, just like that, do not stop!" She exclaimed, and Colin did not stop. 

__

Colin stayed focused through his own pleasure. It felt so right and so natural to have Penelope wrapped around him like this, as she squeezed against his member. He wanted to make her feel good, always. He moved his head towards her other breast, giving it the same attention he had given the other one all through his pounding. 

"You are so beautiful." He said as he made his way to her lips, kissing her with force once more. "And so perfect." It was true. She was his religion. He worshiped her. She was his Goddess. Her legs became flimsy around her as one of them became lose in its tight grasp. She was close, as was he but he wanted to hold off his own release until she did hers first. He moved his hand between them, rubbing her between her legs to reach her peak a lot quicker, and the sound of her moans became his new favourite sound. They sounded so blissful and angelic. 

"I am close, Colin." She said through her heavy pants. 

"As am I." He said, and she head jerked up. 

"Do not come inside me." He had not thought that far ahead. Their actions could lead to a child, and he simply nodded his head at Penelope request. He did not want to come on her stomach like she was some woman at a brothel, so after she reached her climax, he studied her face. Her eyes were rolled back, her mouth parted deeply, making an O. Her chest heaving heavily as her other leg dropped beside him. He penetrated a few more time in her through her high slowly, and she moaned became slower and softer as she moved her hips. When he was certain he was going to spill, he pulled out, moved slightly back but her leg pushed him closer to her. He looked up at her in confusion, but she simply nodded her head. He pumped around his member a few more times and spilled on her night gown scrunched up on her stomach. He could feel Penelope's eyes on him as he spilled. After his high, he collapsed next to her, turning so they both looked up at the ceiling. Now, all he wanted to do was fall asleep in her arms. The fire kept their bodies warm nicely as their breathing steadied. 

"Was that alright?" Colin asked, turning his head to her. She turned her entire body on the side, facing him and pulled his face closer for yet another kiss. It was just a quick peck, but it still felt incredible.

"That was perfect." She smiled. He pulled her closer and she nuzzled her face into his neck, giving him light kisses. "Thank you." 

Colin was confused. Why did she thank him? They both wanted this, not just her. They both acted out what they felt for one another. That is what he thought, at least. 

"Why are you thanking me, Pen?" He asked. 

"Because you came over. You did not reject my advanced towards you." She said, looking up at him. 

"If anything, I should be thanking you." 

"Why?" Penelope asked as she smiled at him. 

"Because you, Penelope, are a vision and a delight to be around. I simply cannot believe a woman as wonderful as you is with me." Colin smiled, and her smile faded. 

"What do you mean by that?" She asked, slowly removing herself from him. He watched her pull the straps of her night gown up, covering her perfect breasts. He sat up as well, following her. 

"We were intimate, Penelope. What do you think that means?" Colin asked. He had a pretty clear vision in mind. Intimacy with a woman as gently bred as Penelope meant marriage. 

"I would like you to be clearer, Colin. What do you mean?" She asked. 

"Oh, for God's sake Penelope, are you going to marry me or not?" 

__

Penelope's jaw dropped completely. Never did she think she would ever hear those words come out of Colin's mouth again, especially in their current positions. 

"What?" She asked. Although, she should not have asked. She knew exactly what he asked her. 

"Marry me." 

"Colin, I cannot!" She said as she moved away from him. Colin simply followed. 

"What do you mean? Penelope, we were intimate." Colin asked. 

"But I am not with child. We made sure of that." She pointed to the stain on her dress. 

"That does not mean we cannot get married." Colin said, and Penelope sighed. 

"Even if we I wanted to marry you, I cannot give you what you want. You want a life without Lady Whistledown and a fixed wife with beautiful children to come home to. I cannot give you that." She shook her head. 

"I do not understand. You know I have accepted Lady Whistledown. I think you are a brilliant writer and an accomplished one at that." Colin argued. 

"But you rejected me once. Who is to say you will not do it again. And I am broken, Colin. We did things we were not supposed to do until marriage and all while doing so, I enjoyed it, but earlier today I cried because my husband is dead. I am broken, Colin. And I can never be with child again." Penelope replied. 

"It does not matter to me that you cannot have children. I did not think your injuries lead to such an experienced being taken away from you-"

"Colin, it is my choice. If I wanted to be with child, I would. Why do you think I asked you to pull out? I will never be with child again. I had one, went through childbirth and still lost her. I cannot do that again." She shook her head. 

"Pen-"

"Colin, no! I will not marry you. I am broken and I aim to be childless for the rest of my life." Penelope replied, then got to her feet. Colin followed her, still completely naked. 

"You are not broken, Penelope." He said, coming closer to her. "You were never broken." He placed his hand on her cheek, and she melted into his touch. 

"But I am. I am broken and messy." Her eyes fluttered open. "Look at us now. I probably ruined our friendship by leading you to this." Penelope said. 

"You did not ruin anything." He whispered. 

"I still cannot marry you." She shook her head, placed her hand over his and removed it from her face. "It is too painful to even think of marrying another just yet. And no man wants to marry a woman who chooses to never be with child." Penelope informed him. 

"You would be enough, Penelope." Colin said. 

"You say that now, but I do not want you to resent me later in life when you see how your brothers are playing with their children, or how your mother might spoil her grandchildren and you will wish it was your own children you were playing with, your own children your mother spoils." Penelope said, then picked up his pants. She handed it to him and he took it. 

"Pen-"

"Now I really think you should leave, Colin. I will get the rest of your clothes." Penelope said, going to were his shirt and jacket were tossed. She sat on her bed and looked away as he dressed in silence. 

Once he was dressed, she looked up at him, and he looked at her. She had made a mess of things between the two of them. They were never going to just be Colin and Penelope again. She had to live with that.

And so, she watched him leave, and she went back to what she was doing before she came over. 

She cried. 

Chapter Text

It was a memory straight from his dreams, laying with Penelope entangled in his arms with the fireplace keeping their bodies warm. All he had were mere memories of that night and of her since she had not accepted his calls after Eloise had interrupted their talk in the garden. And Eloise, she was giving him the deadliest of stares as she passed him in the house. That was a mystery to him, and he hoped it would stop soon. Eloise was an excellent shot, and he would not want to get on her bad side at all. 

"She is in a mood." Benedict said as he sat next to Colin in the drawing room. Colin placed his book aside. He was in the process of planning yet another trip to Iceland, this time around. It was a mission he wanted to complete himself, without companions. Eloise huffed as she sat close to her mother and Hyacinth in the drawing room. 

"I believe it is me she is somewhat upset at." Colin sighed. 

"You willingly want to be on her bad side? Do you have a death wish?" Benedict chuckled. 

"Absolutely not! I have no clue why she is so mad at me." Colin replied. 

"Think, brother! When did it begin?" Benedict asked. 

"I visited Penelope a few days ago, and she has been plotting my death since then." And just like that, Colin pieced things together in his head. Perhaps saying it aloud made it much clearer for him. 

"Why does it always come down to Penelope between the two of you?" Benedict asked, clearly noticing his washed complexion. "Is this a sort of jealousy running between the two of you? A fight for who gets Penelope? Because if this ends in a duel, it was nice knowing you, brother." Benedict patted his shoulder. 

"I think Penelope must have mentioned something to her." Colin said. 

"Mentioned what?" Benedict asked, then he gasped. "What happened between you and Penelope?" He silently asked, more in a softened scream, actually. 

"Do not ask me such questions, brother! I should rather ask you why I saw our family carriage pull up at Penelope's house after I had left on Friday night." Colin asked, crossing his arms. "Why did you go and see her?" 

"I did not go see Penelope, brother. She is off limits to me." Benedict said. 

"Then who?" 

"If you must know, I have gotten rather familiar with Sophie, one of the servants." Colin replied. 

"You what!?" Colin exclaimed, drawing attention from their mother and sisters. 

"I hope your conversation is perfectly decent!" Violet warned. 

"Yes, mother." Colin and Benedict both replied, then turned to each other once again. 

"And since I have told you about Sophie, tell me what is going on between you and Penelope." Benedict asked. 

"So you have given up on your quest for your your mystery woman in silver? You bothered Pen for months asking her to try and find her." Colin asked. 

"She is forever a fever dream to me, but Sophie is somewhat a reminder of her to me." Benedict replied. 

"So you are engaging in activities with her because she reminds you of a woman you met three years ago?" Colin asked. 

"Certainly not, I have grown rather attracted to Sophie, and she with me. It feels real, but I think she is keeping something from me. I will not push her to tell me the truth." Benedict replied. 

"This is truly something. You are besotted with a woman, and that is wild to even think about. Do you love her, brother?" Colin asked. 

"I think so, but I still cannot get my lady in silver out of my head. She haunts my dreams." Benedict replied. 

"I know that feeling all to well, brother." Colin replied, leaning a bit closer to Benedict. 

"Now tell me, you and Penelope?" 

"She kissed me." Colin replied, and Benedict's eyes widened. 

"She what!?" Once again, Violet's head snapped up. 

"Alright, whatever this conversation is, take it elsewhere!" Violet scolded, and both Colin and Benedict stood up. 

"Sorry, mother." Colin said and they both ran off to the study. Benedict slammed the door behind him. 

"Now, talk!" 

"I will not saying anything dishonouring, but I proposed afterwards, and she rejected me." Colin sighed, leaning against Anthony's desk. 

"Now you know what rejection feels like. Remember when you rejected her?" Benedict said. 

"Not funny, brother. I proposed to her on two different occasions, and she rejected me both times. What do I need to do to get a yes out of her?" Colin asked, a little frustrated. 

"Clearly there is nothing left, considering you did more than kiss, I assume?" Benedict asked. 

"Yes. But she said it is because she cannot give me the life I desire with children and a happy life. She does not wish to ever be with child again." Colin replied. 

"Penelope is too maternal to make such wishes. She is excellent with children. Our own nieces and nephews prefer her over us." Benedict informed him. 

"I know, but I want her, brother. I do not like that she is making such a decision for me." Colin replied. 

"And so, you are planning a trip to Iceland because you got rejected?" Benedict asked as Colin looked confused. "I saw the book you were reading. Brother, you always run off when things get a little too much between you and Penelope." 

"That is not true." 

"You ran off when she got married, and then there was that two year trip you went on." 

"Nothing happened before I left. We were on excellent terms." Colin replied. 

"Not the point, you run off when it gets too much. That must stop. You run from your responsibilities instead of just facing them. Perhaps Penelope knows this." Benedict replied. 

"She said I might regret marrying her because she does not want children. Do you think I would simply run off because I cannot get my way?" Colin asked. 

"Yes, you will resent her." Benedict replied. "She will not want to be resented by her husband. She made the right choice, and you need to accept that." 

"I will marry her someday, mark my words. Why is it so hard for you and her to believe that it is her I want, no, need? I do not know when I started needed her so much,  but I need her in my life. I need her to be my wife, because it is her I cannot live without. I will never resent her, not ever." Colin replied with every ounce of passion in his body. 

"Colin-" they both looked at the door seeing a blushing redhead at the door of the study. "Forgive me, I heard your voice as I was passing by." Penelope said, looking at her feet. 

"Pen-" 

"Benedict I am here to see you." Penelope said, looking at the second oldest brother after shaking her head from whatever thoughts you had. 

"Uh, of course." Benedict nervously said. "What is this regarding?" 

"Sophie." 

__

There was something that thawed within her after hearing his words, his determined, most passionate words he uttered to his brother. Something she believed had died three years ago. But that was not why she left Bloomsbury for Mayfair. She had to see Benedict. 

"Is she alright?" Benedict asked, stepping forward. 

"She is well, given her circumstances. Perhaps we should talk in private." Penelope said, her eyes darting towards Colin. 

"It is quite alright. Colin knows of my relationship with Sophie." Benedict replied, and so she nodded her head and closed the door behind her. 

"Forgive me, but I consider Sophie a very close friend of mine, and I cannot see her in the pain she has found herself on because of you." Penelope sternly said. 

"Pain? Penelope, speak freely. Whatever do you mean?" Benedict asked. 

"Sophie is with child, Benedict."

___

Earlier that day, Penelope had been sitting in her study trying to finish her novel. She was slowly reaching the end, a few chapters shy, but she struggled to find an appropriate way to her story. Hers was so open-ended, so she had not the slightest clue as to how she needed to concluded. 

"Ughhh!" She lowered her head on her desk in frustration, only to be interrupted by a single knock on the door. She lifted her head slightly, seeing a disgruntled looking Sophie enter the room. 

"Sophie?" Penelope said, straightening her posture entirely. Sophie had been crying. 

"Penelope!" She said, shutting the door behind her. Penelope got up as she noticed her friend crying once more, and she rushed over to help her sit on the sofa, where Penelope sat next to her. 

"What is it?" Penelope asked, holding Sophie's head as she cried on her shoulder. 

"I am with child, Penelope! Dear God, how could I be so stupid!" Sophie exclaimed through her sobs. 

"You- you are pregnant?" Penelope asked. 

"Yes." Sophie sighed, backing away slightly. 

"Does Benedict know?" Penelope asked. 

"I have kept so much from him, and this is one of those things." Sophie said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. 

"Will you tell him?" She asked. 

"How can I? I am the bastard child of a Lord. He will never accept me!" 

"You do not know this, Sophie. You must tell him." 

"I cannot. It does seem fitting, does it not? A bastard having a bastard child." Sophie said. 

"You must stop referring to yourself as such. It is cruel." Penelope said. 

"But it is the truth, Penelope! His family will never accept me." Sophie replied. 

"The Bridgertons are not like the rest of the ton. They will accept you. All you have to do is let them." Penelope informed her. 

"He will not like that I have kept things from him. He will be angry. My very existence is a shame and it will ruin his dreams of the lady in silver. She is simply a maid, an illegitimate maid." Sophie said. 

"Sophie, this is not how your life is suppose to play out. You are a kind, beautiful woman who is loyal and trustworthy. Any man should be so lucky to have you, and if they cannot see it, then they are all fools." Penelope smiled at her lightly. 

"You really think so?"

"Sophie, I know so! Benedict has been by your side for nearly three years now. He must certainly feel a certain way about you. He will accept you and love you, and his family will love you." Penelope said. 

"I suppose I should talk to him." 

"You definitely should. Come, I will take you to Bridgerton House myself." 

___

"She is what?" Benedict asked, he looked as if someone had knocked the wind out of his lungs as he stumbled back. 

"I am going to need you to regain yourself, Benedict. She is here. I felt her in the carriage." Penelope warned him, and Benedict did as he was told. 

"I would like to see her." Benedict replied. 

"In a moment, you will but Benedict, you must promise me something." Penelope said. 

"What is it?"

"That you will not leave her during this time, that you will care for her as you have, that you will show her kindness and listen to everything she has to say without any judgement." Penelope said, and Benedict looked confused. 

"Whatever do you mean?" Benedict asked. 

"She will explain it all." Penelope said, then nodded at Benedict before she left. She made her way outside, and found Sophie standing outside the carriage. 

"Sophie, are you ready?" Penelope asked, reaching her hand out. 

"Yes, now let us go." Sophie nodded. 

-

While Anthony, Benedict, Violet, Kate and Sophie spoke in private in the study, Penelope wandered around the house in search of Eloise, hoping to talk to her and inform her of what was happening with Benedict. She stumbled upon a hard chest in the drawing room as she walked about aimlessly. 

"I am so sorry-" She stated off, then look up at the man before her. Or course it was him she so gracefully knocked into. "Colin." She said, and she had not noticed the way she depended on him for stability, the way his sturdy arms held her up and the feel of his muscles against her fingertips. 

"Pen-" he said, slowly releasing his hold on her hips once she found stability. "It is admirable, the way you protect Sophie." 

"She is a dear friend, and she entrusted me with her story so long ago, a story that helped me exposed Lady Cowper as the false Lady Whistledown." Penelope said absentmindedly. 

"She is the one who told you that?" Colin asked, a little surprised. 

"There is plenty of things you do not know about Sophie, and I am hoping you will learn about them all once she becomes a Bridgerton." Penelope replied, looking around the room. They were all alone. 

"So you have known about the two of them for a long time?" Penelope nodded her head. 

"Ever since I stayed at Debling Manor. I used to watch him sneak in, and he was not exactly discrete, although he probably thought he was." Penelope laughed. 

"Well, that is my brother." Colin shook his head. "But I must admit, he managed to keep this from me for years, so his discretion cannot go unnoticed." Coming replied. 

"That is true, but I caught them." Penelope said. 

"That is because you are Lady Whistledown. You know everything. If only you could solve Benedict's lady in silver mystery as well." Colin chuckled. 

"I did solve it." Penelope said, and he looked at her with wide eyes. 

"You did? Does Ben know?" 

"He is about to. The lady in silver is Sophie." Penelope told him, and Colin seemed as if his mind was about to explode. 

"Are you serious? So you are telling me the woman Benedict has been yearning over for over two years was right in front of him all this time?" Colin asked. 

"Exactly, and it is quite poetic, if you ask me." Penelope replied. 

"How so?"

"It is kind of a lesson as well. What you are looking for is right in front of you. In this case, Sophie was right in front of Benedict this whole time, the woman he was searching for. And now, she is with child, their child." Penelope smiled. "I am just hoping for the best possible outcome for Sophie. She deserves all the happiness in the world." 

"She certainly is a marvelous woman if Benedict loves her." Colin replied. 

"He said that? He loves her?" Penelope asked. 

"In a way, yes. But he has always been sort of afraid to voice it because of this mystery woman. Now that Sophie is the one he has been looking for, I am certain all will go well for them." Colin replied. 

"I hope so too." She sighed, then noticed her friend running towards the door. 

"Pen!" Eloise exclaimed. "You are here!" 

"Yes, Eloise. I am here. We have much to discuss." Penelope said, turning around. Her back was facing Colin. 

"Before Eloise steals you, can I ask something of you?" Colin asked, and Penelope noticed the way Penelope stared at Colin, like she plotting his painful death in her head. 

"I will meet you in your room, El." Penelope smiled at her, and Eloise turned on her feel in annoyance. She marched upstairs, her footsteps leaving an impact ad she walk. Loud thuds, mainly in annoyance. Penelope made a mental note to ask Eloise about that stare. She turned to face him, looking up at him. 

"Yes, Colin?" 

"Do you regret it?" Colin asked, and to tell the truth, she did not. But she did not want to admit it to him in case he wanted to confess other things, things she already knew. 

"Colin, as I mentioned, it was a moment of weakness. It will not happen again. I did not mean for it to happen, but it just did. I was just as confused as you perhaps were." Penelope replied, thinking that might be the end and she could run off to Eloise. 

"Will you please just hear me out? I do not wish for you to dictate what I might want. I just want you to listen." Colin pleaded, and she sighed. 

"I really do not wish to talk about what happened." Penelope replied. 

"Pen, you kissed me, and now you will not even let me talk to you?" Colin asked, taken aback by her choice of words. 

"There is nothing to discuss, Colin. We did things that were mutually beneficial. End of discussion. You made things the way they are by proposing to me out of nowhere!" Penelope exclaimed. 

"Because, I thought that was what you wanted." Colin replied. "Perhaps you planned so as part of your entrapment. Seduce me and get me to marry you." She gasped at Colin's audacity. 

"Excuse me!? I trapped you? If that is the case, why did I reject you then?" 

"I do not know! You are a very confusing woman, Penelope! You kiss me, we have sex then then you reject me. What else was I to think?" Colin asked, a little angry. 

"I do not know, but it is crazy to think that I would entrap you. Has Marina ruined you that much? That any sort of affection towards you is a planned entrapment? Actually, Colin. You are confusing. You say all these things of loving me and wanting to marry me, but then you go ahead and opening accuse me of trapping me. Either you love me, or I trapped you. Pick one and stick to your own bloody story!" Penelope exclaimed, clearly angry. Colin simply stared at her in silence. 

"I did not expect you yo get so mad." He said. 

"Yes, well I never expected you to accuse me of trapping you into a marriage that is not even happening." Penelope said, pushing a piece of hair out of her face that dangled over her eye. 

"That was totally uncalled for. I am just frustrated." 

"So you thought it would be okay to say such a thing?" Penelope asked. 

"No, that was not okay. And can we please leave Lady Crane out of this?" 

"No, it is because of her you just said what you said." 

"Why does that even matter? You will not marry me anyway." Colin sighed. 

"Because, someday you might meet someone you would want to marry and because you are so messed up, you might accuse her of such a thing as well. I must ensure you do not such thing." Penelope replied. 

"I highly doubt I would meet someone new I would want to marry." Colin said. 

"You say that now, but it could happen." 

"It will not. I am certain."

"Colin, you cannot say such things. You will want to marry and have children someday." 

"Once again, you are telling me what you think I want. I am perfectly capable of making my own decions!" Colin exclaimed, a little annoyed. 

"So you think, Colin. That is why I must make a decision for both of us." She took a deep breath. 

"What do you mean?"

"We can no longer be friends. It is safe to assume we ruined our friendship. We can no longer be as we once were." Penelope informed him, and he shook his head. 

"That is unfair! Why do you get to decide?"

"Because, I am the sensible one!"

"I am not sensible? Is that what you are saying?" Colin asked, stepping closer to her. 

"Yes, Colin! I am. I will not remarry, I have been married and it was the best few months of my life. I have had a child, and she died. I do not wish to go through such pain again. It will kill me. And so, I am letting you go. Despite what I may feel, you proposing to me might have meaned something to Penelope Featherington, but Dowager Countess Penelope Debling must protect her own heart from further breaking. You will break mine, Colin. You will resent me for not giving you children. You will run off to another country and leave me all by myself. You will become the person I once despised so much, I outed you in Whistledown. I cannot let that happen, so I must end our friendship. My heart will be protected, and you will go on with your life." A tear rolled down Penelope's cheek as she spoke and she quickly wiped it away. "I cannot be the person you want me to be." 

"Is that how little you think of me? You think I would leave you? You think I would resent you?" Colin asked, and he seemed visibly hurt. Tears puddled in his eyes. 

"Yes, Colin. You may say you would not with such passion, but I know you." 

"Clearly you do not if you think I am capable of such things." Penelope shook her head. 

"You will stay because it is the right thing to do, and I will not have you settle for less." 

"Why is it so hard for you to believe that you are enough?" Colin asked. 

"Because I am not, Colin! I am not enough for the likes you. You are a Bridgerton. Your name means something in this ton. I am simply a widow with nothing to offer you." 

"Do not day such things, you are enough, you will always be enough!" 

"So you say, Colin. Now if you will excuse me, your sister awaits me." Penelope quickly rushed off to Eloise, leaving Colin simply torn once more. 

_

"Is that it? You will not go after her?" Colin wiped his tears that quickly fell at the sound of his mother's question. 

"Mother, how long have you been there?" Colin asked as his mother stepped closer. 

"Since she said she is the sensible one between the two of you." Violet replied. 

"So you heard the part where -"

"Where she outed you in Whistledown? Yes. I heard that. Penelope is Lady Whistledown?" Violet asked, visibly shocked.

"Does that not bother you?" Colin asked.

"She still remains the Penelope I love so dearly, and Whistledown has been good. She had not written a negative thing about anyone, only about those who deserved it." Violet replied. "In fact, I am rather impressed. Our Penelope is a publish writer? Well, that is quite marvelous!" Violet smiled. 

"Penelope is a woman of many talents." Colin sighed. 

"Then you must fight for her." Violet said, and Colin looked up at his mother. "You must make her believe she is enough." 

"How can I, mother? She does not think she is enough for me." 

"That is something I will let you figure out yourself. I cannot tell you everything you must do, now can I?" Violet smiled. 

"I wish you would." 

"No, son. You must do what feels right." Violet said. "Whatever that might be." What felt right to Colin was holding her, kissing her, loving her. 

"I will try my best, mother." 

"A life without children is not all bad. Although, you would make a wonderful father, but if you truly love her, you will accept the parts of herself she wishes to never embrace." Violet said. 

"If you must know, mother, I would marry Penelope in a heart beat, right now of she allowed me that honour." Colin smiled. 

"I know, Colin. But your brother is bethrothed. Save the wedding bells for after Benedict's wedding, will you?" 

"Absolutely." 

_

Once Penelope reached Eloise's room, she leaned against the door and cried an ugly cry. Elosie quickly rushed to her friend in need, hoping she would speak, but Penelope's sobs quickly filled the room. 

"Pen?" Eloise asked, her hands on Penelope's shoulders. Eloise hated seeing her friend in such pain, and her tears only made Eloise want to break down with her as well. 

"I let him go, El. We cannot be friend anymore." She said, and Eloise knew exactly who she was referring to. Colin. It always came back to Colin. 

"Perhaps it was for the best?" Eloise said, trying to make her feel better, but it only made things worse. She cried even louder, even harder. 

"How was that for the best? I loved him once, and things have gotten way too complicated to fix!" Penelope said. 

"How have you complicated things?" Eloise carefully asked. She knew, but she hoped to get a clear answer from her friend. But none was given. Not in that moment. 

"God, Eloise! I can be so stupid sometimes!" Penelope straightened her posture and wiped her tears away. "But I did it for him, El. Someday he will thank me." 

"Pen, I need to you tell me what is going on." And so, Eloise listened to her ramble on and on about their night spent together, and their little argument in the drawing room. Eloise could not fully understand what was happening between her brother and her best friend, but she knew Penelope harboured her feelings for Colin. 

"And so you just told him you do not believe you will be enough for him?" Eloise asked, piecing the puzzle together. 

"Because I never will be!" 

"That is where you are wrong. We are talking about my brother, Pen. He has loved you for years now. By now, you must see that you are all he needs." 

"But children-" 

"Yes, you went through something extremely traumatic, but do you want to live in fear or do you want to overcome that fear and be a mother?" Eloise asked. 

"What if my baby dies again?" 

"How can you know for certain? Perhaps it will not happen again. You were pushed down a flight of stairs and as a result, you went through early labour, I watched you mourn your child in my arms and you became stronger. You are holding onto a decision you made while you were grieving."

"I still think that should matter, Eloise. I will feel like I am cheating my angel in heaven." Penelope replied, and Eloise took her hand in hers. 

"Do you really want to go the rest of your life never having children? Never having remarried? You are a romantic at heart, Pen. You want a family to love and a husband to hold. Perhaps I might be the reason you do not wish such things upon yourself as well." Eloise shrugged. 

"Why would you say that?"

"Because, we made a pact. We live together when we turn 30 and we just live out our spinster days together. But Penelope?" 

"Yes, El?"

"I do not want that for us anymore. I want better for you, what you actually desire. A husband, children and a career." Eloise smiled. 

"But I want to live with you." 

"But you are also in love with my brother, and he is in love with you." Eloise said. "And that is okay. I will still visit you as often as possible." 

"I cannot marry your brother. I might have just ruined things between us. And I have not been swayed into having children." Penelope said, and Eloise sighed at her best friend's stubbornness. 

Is this how others feel when I act this stubborn?

"Penelope! You must believe me when I say this, deep down you want to marry my brother and have a hundred babies with him!" Eloise said, hoping to knock some sense into her. 

"Colin and I are not friends, Eloise. I have made certain of that." Penelope pulled her hands away from Eloise's slowly. 

"Then be married." 

"El-"

"No, Pen! This is getting ridiculous! Go tell him you made a mistake and you will marry him!" Eloise exclaimed. 

"It is not that simple." 

"Then tell me how to make it more simple for you. The love is there. That should be simple enough." 

"I cannot!"

"You are being stubborn, Penelope. You are so fixed on this idea that you will never be enough for my brother. He is not some God to be worshipped. He is but a man who loves you. And deep down, somewhere hidden, you will resent yourself for never having children. Do you want that?" Eloise asked her. She hoped this time her words would work, but it did not. 

"I must go. I need to check up on Sophie." Penelope stood up. 

"Sophie is here?" Eloise asked. 

"Yes, she is with child, and Benedict is the father." Penelope said. Eloise shook her head in disbelief. 

"What is up with my brothers these days?" 

"I suppose your mother will let you in on everything soon." Penelope said, soothing her dress as she prepared to leave. 

"Yes, and I do hope you come to your senses soon, before it is too late."

_

Penelope made her way downstairs after Sophie's little discussion with Anthony, Kate and Violet, seeing only the three of them in the drawing room with Colin. 

"Where are Sophie and Benedict?" Penelope asked, her eyes trailing between the three of them, not looking once at Colin. 

"We have given them a moment alone, since they are to be married in two weeks, if I can convince the bishop." Anthony said, and Penelope smiled. 

"Really? Well, that is wonderful!" Penelope replied. 

"We are not too thrilled about the circumstances, after all. Sophie and Benedict informs me you have known for a while." Anthony said. 

"I have, yes." Penelope straightened her posture. 

"And you did not think it was improper?" Anthony asked, his arms folded against his chest. 

"It is none of my business. They seemed happy." Penelope shrugged. 

"Perhaps it is good too kept this to yourself. Of it had come out in Whistledown..." Anthony sighed. 

"Whistledown would not report a thing, trust me." Penelope assured them, and Kate and Anthony looked confused.

"How can you be so certain?" Kate asked. 

"Because... Because that is not what she writes nowadays. Gossip may be information, but Whistledown does not write to ruin people anymore. Could you not tell?" Penelope asked. 

"I have not purchased a copy in ages! I only heard what is mentioned by the gentlemen in the council." Anthony said. 

"That is good, Anthony. But I do apologize for keeping this from you. But Sophie is a wonderful woman. She may be the illegitimate child of Lord Cowper, and she may be a maid, but she is honorable and trustworthy. Take my word for it." Penelope said. 

"We trust your word implicitly, Penelope. We also know she is the lady in silver, and you knew as well. Benedict may be upset with you for a while, simply because he would have married her three years ago." Violet smiled at her. 

"Then I will have to ask for Benedict's forgiveness as well." Penelope said, then Colin left the drawing room, and Penelope watched him leave. 

"Forgive him, Penelope. He is simply tired." Kate said, and Penelope just nodded her head. 

"That is quite alright, Kate. I suppose I shall find Hyacinth and Gregory while I give them a moment alone." Penelope said. 

"Or you could come and plan a wedding with us." Violet said. "We mean to start immediately." 

"That sounds perfect. I quite enjoyed planning my own wedding, althought it was mainly for my mama. I take it Sophie and Benedict's will be much smaller?" Penelope as the Kate and Violet lead her to their planning set up. 

"Certainly, Sophie had already given us a guest list. Basically everyone who is a Bridgerton, you and Rae, and we asked if we could invite Lady Danbury as well, and she approved. That is basically it." Violet shrugged. 

"Planning the perfect wedding, I see. Small, intimate and I am certain it will be beautiful." Penelope smiled. 

Chapter Text

Two weeks later, Bridgerton House was decorated for a wedding. Benedict and Sophie's wedding. Penelope was so happy Sophie was accepted by the Bridgertons, and with open arms as well. Sophie had designed her own wedding dress, and it was perfect. They decided to allow Benedict and Sophie marry privately and they would move into My Cottage together, and they would defend Sophie from any negative comments because she was going to be one of their own. It helped that Penelope was Lady Whistledown because she planned to write a stellar piece about Sophie Beckett.

"You look beautiful, dear." Violet kissed the side of Sophie's head so maternally as Rae and Penelope soothed her dress. 

"Thank you, Lady Bridgerton." Sophie smiled. 

"Please, you must call me Violet. No formalities for such a beautiful daughter of mine." Violet replied, and Penelope could not help but smile. 

"There, all done." Penelope said, stepping back to examine the bride. "Perfect! Sophie, you look absolutely perfect." Penelope said, placing her hand over her heart. 

"Thank you, Penelope. And thank you for all you have done for me. You have been such a good friend to me when I needed someone the most." Sophie said. 

"Rae spent so much time on my makeup. Please do not make me cry!' Penelope said. 

"Forgive me, I do not wish to ruin Rae's hard work on my face as well." They both smiled in Rae's direction. 

"Oh, please do not. My hands are trembling." Rae said. "Now come, Sophie. We have three sets of bouquets for you to choose from." Rae took Sophie's hand and guided her to the other end of the room, leaving Violet and Penelope watching them on awe. 

"You truly are such a kind person, Penelope." Violet said. 

"Thank you, as are you. Sophie was so afraid you might never accept her. I am glad you did." Penelope smiled.

"She is such a lovely woman, Sophie. Of course I had to accept her, no matter where she came from or who her father is." 

"And that makes you the kindest of them all." Penelope felt Violet's hand in hers. 

"I always assumed you would be my daughter someday. I have always considered you my daughter, and I just wanted one of my sons to make it official. Now, Anthony is married and Benedict is about to be, Gregory is still too young, but Colin..."

"What about Colin?" Penelope asked, looking towards Sophie and Rae.

"He still has that opportunity to make you my daughter, officially. I certainly hope he does so, and soon." Violet smiled at her.

"I am certain you will love Colin's bride just as much, whomever she may be." Penelope said, looking at Violet. 

"Perhaps I love her already." 

"How can you love someone you have not met yet?" Penelope asked, and she suddenly knew what game Violet was playing. 

"I believe I have met her, and I believe I am talking to her right now. My son may be faulty, but his love for you has risen above all his faults." Violet placed her hand on Penelope's shoulder. "And deep down, I know you feel the same way about him." 

"I cannot marry him." Penelope shook her head. "Colin must be with someone who is worthy of him." 

"And what makes you think you are not?" 

"Because I cannot give him what he wants." Penelope replied. 

"I see why you and Eloise are so close. You both are as stubborn as ever." Violet giggled. "And when you come to realise this yourself, I will not say I told you. I will simply welcome you to the family as a Bridgerton." 

_

Penelope watched from afar as Sophie and Benedict exchanged wedding vows of love and affection, not shying away from the little bundle of love they created. Sophie was the most beautiful bride, and Benedict was the dotting husband who could not keep his hands off her. All while watching them smile between each other not caring about the world around them, Penelope reflected on her conversation with Violet. It always came back to Colin, no matter what the circumstance. A wedding? Colin. A matter involving Sophie and Benedict? Colin. She believed she did the right thing ending their friendship. 

"I love weddings." Eloise said with a glass of champagne in her hand. 

"Really?" Penelope asked, looking at her with amusement. 

"I do. In fact, I cried at your wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony, indeed. And this, my most favourite brother finding love? Oh, I could hardly compose myself." Eloise confessed. 

"I did not know you cried at my wedding." Penelope said. 

"I was, at first it was at the idea of losing a friend to marriage, but I realised it was because I could not be happier for you, and so, the waterworks started." Eloise replied. 

"Well, that is awfully sweet of you." Penelope said, hooking her arm in with Eloise. They walked towards the happy pair and congratulated them both kindly. 

"And Benedict? Sophie is a gem. You better take care of her." Penelope warned. 

"It will be my greatest pleasure to take care of her, Penelope. Mark my words." Benedict smiled. 

"I am just glad to see you have found love, and with a woman as kind and as smart as Sophie." Eloise took Sophie's hand in hers. 

"Thank you, Eloise. Your words are kind." Sophie said. 

"Well, I am known to speak the truth." Eloise replied, but soon, Penelope became tense as Colin approached the four of them. 

"Brother, sisters, Penelope..." Colin said, his eyes lingered a bit longer on her. 

"Mr Bridgerton." Penelope said, bowing her head slowly. "Now if you all will excuse me, I must go see Rae." She quickly turned in a hurry and left the room.

_

Colin watched her leave, her perfume lingering in the air and filling his nostrils. Her scent reminded him of that night, that perfect night they shared together. 

Mr Bridgerton? What were they, stranger?

"So, Colin. You are far too handsome to be single. Certainly there is a woman out there lucky to be in the presence of your company." Sophie smiled. 

"Unfortunately not, sister. The only woman I want does not want me." Colin sighed. "But that is not a concern today, as we are celebrating you. I must warn you, coming into the Bridgerton bunch is a little overwhelming. We argue and fight almost all the time." 

"Penelope has mentioned that. I got a good crash course, and I also discovered most times Benedict is the instigator of little arguments between his younger siblings." Sophie said, smiling in Benedict's direction. 

"Penelope told you that?" Benedict asked. 

"Yes, and she told me never to bargain a deal with Hyacinth. One might think you are getting a deal out of it, but Hyacinth is clever with her words." Sophie said. 

"Penelope is smart to warn you. However, I do not think she will fool you. Kate did not fall for her antics, and nor do I. You are smarter than that." Eloise said. 

"What else did Penelope say about me?" Benedict folded her arms. 

"Nothing I already know, Ben." Sophie said. 

"And of me?" Eloise asked.

"She said you are the smartest Bridgerton by far, but she believes Kate sometimes is a lot smarter than you." 

"That is fair. Kate has been blessed with infinite wisdom." Eloise replied. "How she managed to fall for my brother, I will never understand." 

"And of you, Colin, she said you are an adventurous soul. You are kind and caring. You never share your food, a trait you share with Eloise but you will gladly make a plate for someone else just so that they will not take your food." Sophie replied, and Colin could not help but smile. 

"That is the truth. In fact, I will make you, my new sister, an excellent plate filled with an array of treats." Colin replied, and then he went off to the table of food, where he saw Francesca picking food for her own plate. 

"Sister." Colin softly said, as he approached her.

"Colin." She smiled. 

"I see you are out of your room. If I had known a wedding would get you up and about I would have made a plan sooner." 

"With what bride, Colin?" Francesca giggled. 

"It does not matter. I would have done just about anything to hear that glorious chuckle." Colin said, then fixed his eyes on the food before him. "Everything looks good. Do you think I should get a bit of everything for Sophie? She is, after all, eating for two." 

"A bit of both works, yes. I am certain she will love it." Francesca said as they both reached for the grapes. 

"I love you, Frannie." Colin whispered as they both placed the grapes on their plates. 

"I love you too, Colin." She replied, whispering as well. 

__

Penelope felt out of place. She usually felt like she fit in nicely with the Bridgertons, but recent events with Colin made her feel like she should not be in their home. But she was there for Sophie and Benedict, and she would leave with Rae very soon. Sophie had extended an invitation to Rae and insisted she attend the wedding as a guest and nothing more, and Sophie even spent a whole day making a dress just to Rae's liking. That was the kindness of Sophie, and since she knew Benedict to be just as kind and caring, she knew they would be very happy together. 

Penelope admired Colin from afar, smiling at the way he laughed with Simon and Anthony. Colin's laugh truly was a spectacular sound, and Penelope liked when he was happy, laughing so joyfully as well. In that moment, she came to accept that it might never be the same between them, laughing as they once did, confiding in one another as before. Those little moments could no longer exists without the cravings of something much more intimate. 

As much as she tried to dismiss it, all Penelope could think of was just how soft his large hands were when he covered her skin. There simply was not a way they could just be friends, especially since she knew he knew just how to make her feel immense pleasure. Friendship is no longer an option. 

The sound of a crane hitting the floor snapped her out of thought, and she snapped her head in its direction, seeing Agatha Danbury. 

"Agatha." Penelope smiled. 

"Penelope." Agatha trailed her eyes in the direction she was looked in. "I see you admiring the eye candy from a far." Agatha smirked, and Penelope shook her head. 

"That is simply not true." 

"Then tell me, young lady, why I had called your name a few times and you did not respond?" Agatha titled her head towards, looking at Penelope. 

"You did?" Penelope's eyes widened. 

"I did, and you were basically looking at Mr Bridgerton like a sweet treat, and I am not referring to the second oldest son or the youngest one." 

"Have you congratulated the bride and groom yet?" Penelope smiled, trying to change the topic. 

"I have, and do not try and change the topic, young lady. I am on to you." Agatha pointed, leaving Penelope confused. 

"Whatever do you mean?" 

"Oh, just know that we will get our way." Agatha smirked as she walked off, leaving Penelope more confused. 

We? Violet and Agatha were in cahoots?

Shaking her head, Penelope tried searching the room for a distraction, and she found on in Hyacinth Bridgerton, who seemed to be galloping in her direction. Galloping, because she trotted over like a horse. 

"Penelope, did you like my horse impersonation?" Hyacinth asked. 

"Certainly, it was magnificent! One might mistake you for the real thing." Penelope laughed. 

"Gregory thinks it looks ridiculous. Colin, however, has been really supportive. He says I still managed to look effortlessly beautiful. Do you not think my brother is the kindest?" Hyacinth widely smiled.

Why is everyone talking to me about Colin?

"That is a kind thing to say, yes." Penelope sighed. 

"He will make such a wonderful husband, and a father. I cannot wait to meet his beautiful wife someday." Hyacinth replied. 

"I am sure she will be lovely." Penelope tried being polite to the youngest Bridgerton, but all she wanted to do was escape the Colin talk. 

"I do hope he marries before I enter society. It is good to have such ideals of love as inspiration. Daphne and Simon, Anthony and Kate, and now Benedict and Sophie. Frannie and John were wonderful as well, but since Colin is waiting for his princess, I am certain it will be a lovely story to tell his children when they ask how mama and papa met." Hyacinth beamed as she looked at Colin. 

"Certainly." Penelope nodded her head. 

"And since Colin is so well spoken and travels a lot, I should hope his wife is just as well spoken as he is, if not better. The conversations we will have!" Hyacinth jumped with excitement. 

"Hyacinth, how many slices of cake have you had?" Penelope asked, noticing how jittery she had gotten. 

"I do not know. One? Two? Seven? It is hard to keep track when the cake is so delicious!" Hyacinth said, and Penelope took the girl and guided her outside. 

"Okay, how about we run the sugar off. You and I are going to the garden, and we can play a game or two, just to wear your energy off." Penelope suggested. 

"A game sounds wonderful! You are so right, as usual, Penelope." 

_

Violet and Agatha watched as Penelope and Hyacinth made their way outside to the garden and once they were outside, Agatha turned to her dear friend. 

"Sending my busiest kid in to plant some seeds is overkill, I think." Violet said, noticing just how much energy Hyacinth had. 

"If we want our plan to succeed, we must use as much resources as possible. Have you planted the seed as well?" Agatha asked, her eyebrows raised. 

"Yes, this morning already. I said exactly what I told you I would say, and I meant it." Violet said, looking at Penelope, who ran around in the garden with Hyacinth. 

"The goal is to get as many people as people to talk to her about how wonderful Colin is and not to lay it on thick. It must be subtle. I think Hyacinth will do a wonderful job at that." 

"My daughter is not entirely subtle, if you have not noticed already." Violet laughed. "And Penelope is smart, smarter than I have realised. She will notice something. I have come to learn just how observant she can be." Violet said, looking around to see if anyone could hear, and Agatha's eyes narrowed. 

"What do you know?" Violet looked surprised. 

"What do you mean?" 

"You have just come to realise how observant she can be? What have you learned?" Agatha asked once more. 

"Nothing, Agatha." Violet lied. And Agatha knew it. 

"Observant, you say. And she seems like the type of person who can write a good insult as well." Both Violet and Agatha stared at each other in silence for at least a minute before Lady Danbury spoke once more. "You know." 

"You know as well. How?" Violet asked. 

"The Queen and I are great friends, and she knows as well." 

"How long has her majesty known?" Violet asked. 

"For years, since before she became Lady Debling." Violet gasped.

"Is that why her majesty attended Penelope's wedding?" Violet asked, and Agatha simply nodded her head. "That is interesting! I always wondered how Penelope could summon the Queen like you could. Now I know it is because she is the most scandalous gossip writer in all of London!" Violet whispered. 

"And The Queen loves it!" 

"And Colin told me he knows, as well as Eloise and Benedict. Three of my children knew." Violet folded her arms. 

"Penelope informed me she told Portia as well, just after she lost her child. I suppose, Whistledown is the reason for her tumble down the stairs as well. Patrick Debling blackmailed her, but her husband knew of her identity already and in frustration, he pushed her." Agatha confessed.

"I did not know that! Poor Penelope!" Violet said with a deep, saddened sigh. 

"It is admirable that she still chose to continue writing." Agatha replied. 

"Certainly, although, some of these balls she had not attended, and yet she still managed to have a column prepared the next morning." Violet said. 

"Penelope is full of surprises. She will do just nicely as a Bridgerton." 

"If anything, she will only elevate our status. Lady Whistledown as a Bridgerton? Why, our family would become one the most reputable ones in Mayfair." Violet said.

"Your family already is, but we certainly need to work much faster. Portia must act fast if we plan to have them married by the end of this upcoming social season." Agatha said. 

"I do hope they marry sooner rather than later." Violet said. 

"You said she suggested they stop being friends. Did Colin mention why?" Agatha asked. 

"He did not, although I think they must have done something utterly stupid to come to that conclusion." Violet shrugged, looking around. 

"Perhaps, cross that line of friendship?" Agatha said, and Violet's head nearly snapped off as she turned in her friend's direction. 

"Are you suggesting-"

"Yes, Violet. And not to mention, she was looking at him like a sweet treat." 

"She was?" Violet's eyes popped out of her head. 

"Certainly. Now we cannot change her mind about why she does not wish to ever bare children, but we must help her realise that she wants to marry him." 

"This is, by far, our most complicated scheme." Violet sighed.

"And it would have been much simpler if Penelope just opened her eyes and turned her stubborness off." Agatha replied, mimicking Agatha's sigh. 

"You know, Hyacinth is almost out in society. I suppose we could search for a match for her as well. We deserve a little break once Colin and Penelope are married." Violet suggested. 

"Perhaps one of my grandchildren will venture to Mayfair. I have few around the same age as your daughter. We might want simplicity the next time we scheme."

A few days had passed since Benedict and Sophie's wedding, and Sophie was in bliss, Penelope had learned. She was being loved and cherished by the man she so dearly loved, and who loved her back. It was everything Penelope wished for Sophie, who had grown so near and dear to her heart. 

By the time morning had settled in on the dawn of a new day, Penelope's eyes opened in annoyance. Since she was widowed and had no dependents, Penelope felt like, for the first time in years, like she had no purpose. She had no reason to get up, no reason to rush about the day, no time limit on her errands. She could live her life in leisure. Alfred had left her plenty and her Whistledown earnings were just as much, but all they were doing was collecting dust. She had no reason to spend her money other than paying staff, house maintenance, donations to charitable causes and dresses. Other nitty gritty things along the way were also not as much she needed to spend. 

In truth, she should be grateful she was in a fortunate position, having money, but her problem was she did not know how to spend it. 

And so, that morning, she made a commitment. If ever she were to have daughters, they would be well taken cared for. Her money would be put towards dowry, some pocket money for them to spend on themselves and for tuition, whatever cause they wished to study. It was frowned upon for women, but her daughters would receive the education they deserved.

If I ever have daughters???

Sitting in her dining room and breaking her fast, Penelope pondered on there decision she so openly made without any doubt in the back of her mind. 

If I have daughters. 

The concept was strange, once she sat down and thought about it. She always said she would not have children, but now she was planning to put money away for them? She thought that out, planned it with precision and the doubt never settled in.

Perhaps my decision to never reproduce was made abruptly. Eloise was right!

Penelope could hardly believe it. After so long, she wanted children. No, she needed children. The thought brought a smile upon Penelope's face. 

Children... In her future? Well, she was simply ecstatic! But children would mean marriage, and marriage meant going out and finding a husband. That thought brought a frown upon Penelope's face. 

Then, she thought of Colin. Her harboured feelings for him. But she could not do that to him, say she was ready to be his wife and the mother of his children even after she cut off all ties with him. He hardly made an effort to speak to her at the wedding, or call upon her at the house. Perhaps he had gotten the message loud and clear. They were no longer friends, and he could fall out of love with her. 

That would mean she would need to fall out of love with him as well. 

And so, she made her way to her mother's Dower house and sat comfortably on the sofa. 

"Mama, I have had a moment of reflection, and I think I am ready to remarry." Penelope said, lifting her teacup to her lips, and her mother almost choking on her liquids. "Mama?" Penelope asked with concern as Portia coughed in an unladylike manner. 

"Penelope-" Portia said, placing her teacup down firmly and wiping her mouth. "That is great news." She replied. 

"Thank you, mama." Penelope said, concern for her mother's well-being still all over her face. 

"But tell me, why the change of heart?"

"Children. I want plenty of them. And I cannot have children without being married, now can I?" Penelope said. 

"So you only want marriage for children?" Penelope nodded her head in agreement to her mother's question. "But Penelope?" 

"Yes, mama?" 

"Why not marry for love? And children will be an added bonus." Portia suggested. 

"Because-" Penelope sighed, sitting back. "I have burned my bridges with love. That cannot be a factor with me any longer. I want children to love, to care for, to fuss over in my free time. I have too much free time!"

"So because you have so much free time, you want children?"

"Well, yes. I will obviously love them unconditionally, and I have always wanted to be a mother." Penelope shrugged. 

"Yes, and you will be a great one, but what of love for your husband? You will just marry any man who looks your way?" Portia asked. 

"No, mama. I will obviously see who the best person is to marry once I re-enter the marriage mart this season." 

"You wish to re-enter?" Portia asked, her eyes widened. 

"How else am I supposed to find a husband, mama?" Penelope giggled. 

"Well, look internally?" Portia suggested. 

"What, and marry a distant cousin?" Penelope looked distraught. 

"No, dear! I meant around your friend circle. Why not seek out the unmarried bachelor?" Portia asked. 

"I do not have unmarried bachelor friends. The only friends I have are all ladies, no gentlemen friends." Penelope said. 

"And what of Colin Bridgerton?" Penelope paused, and nervously sipped her tea. 

"That is not a possibility." 

"I did not ask if it were a possibility, I asked what of him. Why not him?"

"Because, mama. We are no longer friends." Portia nodded her head, not even looking surprised or asking why. 

"If that is what you wish." Portia said, and Penelope nodded her head. 

"Yes, that is what I wish." 

"Good, then I shall arrange for you to meet some of your late father's friends." Penelope jerked her head forward. 

"I am not marrying one of papa's aged friends." Penelope instructed. 

"That is all who is left. Most of the eligible men are snatched up, or too young for you. Much older is better, I think." Portia said with a cunning smile. "I will set up meetings with them. Come tomorrow, and do not be late!" Portia stood up and before Penelope could protest this idea, Portia stormed out of the room. 

_

Later that afternoon, Portia, Agatha and Violet met in the Danbury drawing room. 

"So let me get this right: she wishes to remarry, but only for the purpose of having children to fill up her free time?" Violet asked, confused at hear Penelope's logic. 

"So it seems, yes. I thought I might scare her in Colin's direction by suggesting she meet one of her father's aged friends." Portia added. 

"That is good, perhaps find some old geysers older than us, will you?" Agatha asked. 

"Oh, I will do my absolute worst! My dear daughter has gone insane. For whatever reason, she believes she had burned all her bridges leading to love and her friendship with Colin is gone as well. That, I knew because you both have informed me." Portia sighed. 

"I do not understand. She knows Colin loves her, but she still refuses to marry him." Violet added. 

"Perhaps she thinks it is because they are no longer friends, he is no longer an option." Agatha suggested. 

"But all of this cannot be for nothing, dear friends. We must intervene, and quickly." Violet said. "Colin's happiness matters to me, and I will not sit by and let him watch the love of his life marry yet another person who is not him." 

"I agree, Violet. Penelope must put her stubborness aside." Portia said. 

"Exactly! Perhaps we should be a lot more direct with her, I think." Violet said. 

"I say we wait. Let her see these old geysers will make her life miserable. Then, we hit her with sense." Agatha said, and they collectively agreed on that decision. Portia layed out named as to who she might invite over, and the ladies all winced in response. They truly were the worst of the lot. 

"Okay, those men could work, but what if I let this news slip to Colin? Perhaps he could knock the stubborness out of her." Violet suggested. 

"That actually sounds a lot better, because I certainly would not have gone easy on my daughter." Portia said. 

"You and me both, Portia. Let Colin know. Perhaps he can slide in and scoop her up." Agatha said, and as usual, she prayed for the best possible outcome, which was yet another Bridgerton marriage by the end of the social season. 

Chapter Text

The very next day, much to her dislike, Penelope sat in her mother's drawing room with the most unflattering smile. Her mother reminded her to correct her face as a man she recognised entered the room. 

"Lord Lumley, a pleasure to see you." Portia exclaimed as she welcomed the gentleman in. 

"I was surprised when I received your letter, Lady Featherington." Lord Lumley looked at Penelope, who rose to her feet with her arms placed in front of her. "I must say, your daughter has quite matured since I last saw her." The devilish grin on the man's face made Penelope want to run for the hills. His grey hair was brushed back, covering his bald patch in the middle of his head, while a food stain was etched into his formal jacket. His belly served as a sort of roof covering his lower body. She could not believe who her mother thought was an appropriate match for her. 

"She certainly has." Portia smiled in Penelope's direction. "But come, sit." Portia lead the gentleman to the sofa, and Penelope scootched further away. 

"So, your mother tells me you wish to wed. I certainly hope to be the lucky man, since I have never been married and I wish to acquire an heir before my demise." 

Which is very close... This man is a step away from death!

Penelope swatted her thoughts away, and simply smiled. 

"Children is a great desire for me as well, my Lord. Tell me, what is it that you do when you are not sitting in council and running your estate?" Penelope asked. 

"You certainly are an inquisitive lady, aren't you?" Lord Lumley laughed, then grabbed a biscuit and propped it in his mouth. 

"I certainly would like to know why my mother thinks we are compatible. That is all." Portia leaned in closer as Lord Lumley wiped the crumbs off his lap. 

"Penelope, be nice." Portia silently hissed. With an annoyed scoff, Penelope faked yet another smile in his direction. 

"Anytime now, Lord Lumley." She scrunched her nose in annoyance. Feeling threatened by her question, for whatever reason, the man who was much older than her late father, stood up. 

"Why, just who do you think you are questioning a Lord as esteemed as I?" Penelope feared he might fall over and die based off his fast he rose. 

"Esteemed? You clearly think highly of yourself." Penelope scoffed.

"Has your mother not taught you any manners?" Lord Lumley asked, looking at Portia, who too stood up. 

"Forgive her, Lord Lumley. My daughter is feeling under the weather. Perhaps you could come back another day?" Portia suggested. 

"Perhaps not. What I am looking for in a wife is simply a womb to grow an heir and for her to follow instructions without questioning it. I will not tolerate opinions being thrown my way. I am a Lord, for goodness sake!"

"Then, my Lord, perhaps you should see yourself out. I merely asked a simply question. There is no need to act a fool before two ladies. You will not make a submissive wife out of me." Penelope exclaimed in frustration. She heard Portia sigh. 

"The housekeeper will see you out. Thank you for calling, Lord Lumley." 

__

Despite her daughter's clear fiery tongue which might spread some word around the ton, Portia was rather inpressed with her daughter's ability to stand up for herself. In fact, she wanted to hug her daughter, but she had a role to play. 

"Penelope!" Portia exclaimed. 

"What, mama! Did you truly think I was going to marry a man of enough to be my grandfather? The man probably has at least three illegitimate children running around. That is why he got so defensive!" Penelope replied, then leaned back against the sofa after grabbing a biscuit. She did not seem worried about her behaviour at all. 

"You insulted that poor man, Penelope."

"His ego is bruised. What, am I supposed to run after him and sooth it for him? In what world, mama?" Penelope asked. 

"This is what you wanted, Penelope. You wanted marriage." 

"Not with old men like Lord Lumley! That man is basically a fossil." Penelope quickly whipped. 

"Penelope!"

"Mama! I simply will not do this again. Heaven knows what might come out of my mouth. Perhaps the true Lady Whistledown will make her presence known through me." Penelope took a bite of her biscuit, and Portia just sighed. 

"I had reached out to Lords Faro, Jenkins and Fife." The mentioned of Lord Fife's name jerked a reaction out of her. 

"Excellent. Two more old older men and an arrogant prick of a man. Lord Fife? Seriously, mama! That man is unmarried for a reason. The women know he is a rake."

"And all you require is children." Portia said. 

"Lord Fife, I will not see." Penelope folded her arms. 

"My Lady, a Lord Fife to call upon Lady Debling." Varley said, and Penelope groaned. 

"Absolutely not! You tell that man go to away." Penelope quickly stood up, pointing at poor Varley. 

"Too late." From behind Varley came Lord Fife. Perhaps extending an invitation to him was a mistake. 

_

"Some time before Penelope's first caller, Violet sat at the breakfast table with some of her children around. 

"Have you all heard the news?" Eloise asked, and Violet wondered if Eloise would bring up the Penelope news. 

"What is it?" Hyacinth asked, and Violet wanted to scold her for messing with her food in her plate, but she also wanted to hear what Eloise had to say. 

"In a shocking turn of events, Penelope has decided to take a husband! Can you believe it!" Eloise scoffed, and a pair of utensils dropped next to her. 

"What?" Colin asked, his eyes widened, staring a hole into Eloise. 

"That is great. I suppose it is time she moved on." Anthony added.

"She means to marry again?" Colin asked, and Violet watched as he tried to make sense of the news. 

"Yes, she wrote to me last night. Her mama is setting her up this morning." Eloise said. 

"That is absurd!" Colin cried out. "You must be mistaken. She said she would never remarry!" 

"She is allowed to change her mind, brother." Eloise said, and Colin picked up his fork and violently started picking his food up with it. 

"Colin?" Violet asked, and he looked up at her with angry eyes.

"Mother?" 

"You can call on her, you know." Violet suggested, hoping her sweet subtle voice would do the trick. 

"What good would that do?" He asked. 

"It might do some good." 

"Perhaps I will leave it as is. She can do with her life as she pleases." He tossed the utensils aside and pushed her plate further away from him. "I have lost my appetite. Excuse me." He stood up abruptly and left the room in a hurry. 

"After all this time, he still loves her?" Kate asked, looking around the table. 

"I suppose so." Hyacinth shrugged. "And I played my part well, mama. I did as you and Lady Danbury asked. I am sorry it did not work out." 

"That is quite alright, dearest. I am certain you did well." Violet smiled at her youngest. 

"What part?" Anthony asked. 

"This sounds like a matchmaking scheme, if you ask me." Eloise folded her arms. 

"You are right. Lady Danbury, Lady Featherington and I are on a mission to ensure your brother marries Penelope." Violet confessed. 

"And how had that been going so far?" Kate asked. 

"Incredibly difficult! Penelope will not even give your brother a chance." 

"Perhaps she does not feel the same way as Colin does for her." Anthony said. 

"That is not true." Eloise shook her head. "She cried the day she ended her friendship with Colin." 

"They are no longer friends?" Anthony turned to Kate. "Have we been living under a rock?"

"It appears so." 

"Why did she end things?" Anthony asked. 

"I do not know all the details, brother. But I think I should like to join this mission. Penelope is too stubborn for her own good." Eloise replied. 

"She gets that from you." Violet added.

"Not true!" 

"Sister, it really is the truth." Hyacinth said. 

"Perhaps she remembered that time Colin humiliated her in front of eligible men of the ton before she met Lord Debling." Eloise said, leaving everyone at the table confused. 

"Whatever do you mean?" Violet asked. 

"Oh, I should not say." Eloise said, looking nervously at her plate. 

"Oh, you will sister." Eloise sighed at Anthony's request. 

"Colin told some of his friends he would never dream of courting Penelope, not in his wildest fantasies. She overheard, and she was rather upset that he said such mean words." Eloise said. 

"Your brother said that?" Violet asked, shocked to say the least. 

"Yes, mama." 

"Then he has no right to be sulking over this." Anthony sternly said. "He discredited her in front of eligible gentleman and now he chooses to leave so abruptly at the news of her remarrying?" 

"Did you purhaps drop Colin on the head whilst he was a baby, mama? That is the only reasonable explanation I can think of." Hyacinth asked, leading to small laughter. 

"That is quite enough, children." Violet scolded, and they stopped. "Now, clearly Penelope has forgiven him because why else would she have agreed to lessons from him? And not to mention, they were good friends before it all ended." 

"Colin is a confusing man. I shall speak to him." Anthony nodded, and Violet smiled. 

_

Over at Portia's estate, Penelope groaned in annoyance, completely forgetting her manners once Lord Fife entered the room. Portia settled him on the sofa, and Penelope refused to sit close to him. Her mother left the room to call Varley for some extra biscuits and more tea. 

"Tell me, Lord Fife, why it is that you still remain unmarried? Any specific reason as to why?" Penelope folded her arms before him.

"I have never really found the right woman to become my wife." Lord Fife politely said. 

"Or simply no woman thinks you would make the ideal husband. Have you ever thought that maybe you are the problem?" Penelope asked, and Lord Fife looked at his lap in shame. 

"The Lord Fife you speak of existed so long ago. I am a new man now, mark my words." Fife said, and Penelope did not believe him. 

"So why the change?" Penelope asked. As much as she wanted to sit, she did not want to sit that close to Fife. 

"We cannot remain like we once were forever. I was a rake, and unkind towards woman. I must admit, I might have mentioned a few harmful words about you when you first debuted, up until you married your husband and I would like to ask for your forgiveness." 

"And so now you sit here in my mother's drawing room after accepting an invitation from her." Penelope said. 

"I wanted to apologise first before anything else." Fife said, sounding extremely considerate and respectful. 

Perhaps he did change. 

Even though he showed signs of change, Penelope still remembered him vividly. But she was not about to judge him, especially since he was asking for her forgiveness. 

"Okay, Lord Fife. I forgive you. I can sense the sincerity in your voice." Penelope sighed, but that did not mean all was well. "And although I have forgiven you, it does not mean anything."

"That I am well aware of." Lord Fife said, and then moved closer to the edge of the sofa, inviting Penelope to sit. With some hesitation, she did. 

"So, you seek a wife? Are you searching for love or simply a practical match?" Penelope asked. 

"I do not think, after all I have done in my youth, I am worthy of love. I would settle for practicality." Fife scoffed. 

"My late husband and I were a practical match, but it quickly blossomed into love. Perhaps you might find yourself lucky, in that regard." Penelope suggested. 

"I do not know, perhaps not. As long as I can settle down with a woman who is kind, I believe we can be very happy together." Fife said, until Penelope heard a sudden gasp at the door of her mother's drawing room. Her eyes darted towards the door in an instant, and she immediately felt her heart beat at a massive rate. One she believed might even be the cause of her own death. One that she believed might even let her heart explode. Her breath hitched as she tried to calm her beating heart, and Colin seemed genuinely confused.

"Colin." 

___

After excusing himself from the breakfast table, Colin requested a carriage to take him to Portia Featherington's estate immediately. The horse galloped with great speed, and in truth he had no idea what he might say to Penelope once she saw he. 

How dare you chose to marry another?

In truth, he wished to scream that question at her. She knew just how much he loved her, and yet she thought it would be best to end their friendship and marry another? She once said she never imagined he could he so cruel, but this level of cruelty was a stage he did not even think he had to the ability to achieve. As he sat in the back of the carriage, he could only feel how Penelope had chosen to step all over his heart, which bled for her, screamed her name, beated multiple times a day just so that he could stay alive long enough to make her his bride, and for many years after. This was a level of heartbreak Colin had never reached. 

Penelope marrying yet another gentleman who was not him? He was so mad he though the might do something as stupid as entrap her in a marriage with him. His mind wandered with possibilities as to how he could make it happen. 

Touch her in public? Her skin was so delicious and delicate. 

Kiss her in public? She had the softest, cushion lips Colin had ever kissed, and they were intoxicating. 

But then again, Penelope was a widow. Society would not pay much attention to her as they would another unmarried woman.

And so, he opted for the less thrilling option, one that would evoke Penelope's stubborness, a trait he so much disliked about her. But he still loved her dearly. He would talk to her, make her understand that marrying him because of their love is what is best. 

Colin had never been to Portia's estate, and he was immediately impressed by the beautiful flowers on display by the entrance. Jealousy seeped through Colin as he pictured other men bringing flowers to Penelope. He then cursed at himself for not getting her a gift. 

The footman allowed him in after he identified himself and gave him directions to the drawing room, almost as if he was expecting Colin to arrive. Nonetheless, he followed those instructions until he heard the voice of another man. One he instantly recognised. 

Fife?

Never did Colin ever imagine Fife would call upon Penelope. 

"--I believe we can be very happy together." 

Colin instantly looked at the pair seated on the settee, staring at each other as they spoke and after hearing those words falling from Fife's lips, he scoffed in confusion. Fife? The very same man who used to mock her? He wanted to court her? Possibly marry her? Possibly have babies with her? That was absolutely ridiculous. He would not let Penelope marry that worthless man. He would have to die before he would let that happen. 

"Colin." Penelope simply said, and Fife turned to meet him. 

"Bridgerton!" Lord Fife stood up with a large smile plastered on his face. Clearly, Fife wanted to go in an hug him, but Colin moved out of the way. 

"Penelope, a word?" Colin sternly asked, and Penelope stood up and smoothed her dress. 

"Of course, Mr Bridgerton." Penelope said, and Colin tried examining her face. She seemed reserved, like he was some stranger. Then she stopped before Fife. "Lord Fife, thank you for coming by." 

"You are welcome, Lady Debling." Fife bowed, then turned to Colin. "And I suppose I shall see you around, friend." Colin looked away in annoyance and disbelief. Fife took that as his indication to leave. Colin and Penelope were all alone in the drawing room. 

_

As she made her way to the drawing room, Portia noticed Fife as he made his way towards the front. 

"Lord Fife, leaving so soon?" Portia asked. 

"I believe so, yes. Mr Bridgerton is with Lady Debling." Fife replied.

"Colin Bridgerton?" Portia asked, her eyebrow arched. 

"Yes. Thank you for the invitation, but I must be going. Good day, Lady Featherington." 

Portia watched Fife leave, then stood impatiently outside the drawing room. She heard voices slowly rise then fall back into a normal pace. Like arguing, but then they spoke normally again. Clearly this altercation could end positively or negatively, and Portia hoped it would end positively. 

_

"So, you wish to remarry?" Colin asked, his hands tied behind his back as he asked, extremely annoyed. Penelope picked up on his body language quickly. Agitated, irritated, irate! 

"I suppose Eloise informed you?" Penelope asked. 

"Of course she did! Penelope, what are you doing? Why are you doing this to me?" Colin asked, his voice slightly raised. 

"I am not doing anything to you, I am doing this for me." Penelope retored back, matching his tone. "And we are no longer friends! You do not get to be upset about what I choose to do." 

"It very much concerns me when you act like this, especially when you know how much I love and care for you, and yet you still want to marry Fife? Of all people, Fife? Do I really repulse you that much that you had to seek a husband in Fife?" Colin screamed. 

"I do not intend to marry Lord Fife, Mr Bridgerton! He came here and asked for my forgiveness for how he has behaved towards me in the past." Penelope said, and she noticed his face become less... angry. 

"You- you will not marry Fife?" He asked, and she shook her head. 

"Absolutely not. I simply asked him what he was looking for in a wife, he said he would settle for practicality and he mentioned if his future wife is kind, they would be very happy together. Then you came, and that is it." She shrugged, but then he shook his head. 

"Clearly, you have some common sense. Marrying Fife would be a terrible idea." 

"Clearly I have some common sense? You did not just come into my mother house and insult me in such a manner, Mr Bridgerton!" Penelope scolded. 

"When will you listen to me, truly listen to me? You have made a career out of listening to other people, but you chose not to listen to me when I tell you how I feel. I have told you just how much I love you, Penelope. You are all I dream of, and when I wake in the morning, I think of you in my dreams. You occupy my every thought. It is impossible to go a day without thinking of you. Why do you deem yourself so unfit for me, or do you deem me too unfit for you?" Colin asked, basically pleaded with his hand over his heart.

"Colin, I would never deem you unworthy of anything, when you deserve everything your heart desires." Penelope said, softening her face. 

"Then why do I not deserve to be loved by you the same way I love you?" Coin asked, and she sighed. 

"Because, Colin-" she pinched the bridge of her nose, much like her mother did. "I have made plenty of mistakes when it came to you. After your scandal with Marina was revealed, I tried telling you I loved you, but then you said you were leaving for Greece. I made the mistake of not telling you sooner. I have loved you so deeply and so desperately, it hurt me to see you even flaunt your charm on the women in the ton. I made the mistake of rejecting you on more than one occasion, and most recently, I rejected you because I was not ready to have children. If I wanted that after that night, I would have accepted you with open arms, but I did not. I made the mistake of holding onto a decision I made with my dead daughter in my arms, and I lost my friendship with you in the process." Penelope said, stepping one foot closer to him. 

"You see, Colin. When it comes to you, I cannot think clearly. I always make mistakes. I realised I wanted to live the rest of my life with babies and a husband afterwards, and I had already ended us. I did not want you to think I am selfish for coming back only because it benefitted me. I would hate myself if you thought that, and so I spoke to my mama." Penelope shrugged. 

"But Penelope, I would never deem you selfish. Never, in any sense." He shook his head. "You are the least selfish person I know. And us being married with children around would benefit me as well. I would get to be with my wife, a woman I would worship as if she were my religion, and children made out of love." Colin said. This time, he stepped closer. "And as for those mistakes, I have made a few with you as well." 

"You have?" Penelope's eyes widened. 

"Yes. The night you got engaged, I sat in Anthony's study thinking about you and all the things you make me feel. I made the mistake of letting myself get so lost in the thought of you, I let time slip by so quickly. By the time I realised I was in the study for too long, you were already engaged. And not to mention, I made the mistake of never seeing you sooner. You were only Pen to me. I knew you were special, but I could not understand why. I wish I was smarter back then. Perhaps we would have been married sooner with children already." 

"I did not know that. But tell me, what would you have done differently about the night I got engaged?" Penelope asked, looking deep into his blue eyes.

"I probably would have proposed to you before he had the chance to, without any courtship. I would have done whatever it takes to get to you, chase down a carriage even, just to get to you." 

"You would not," Penelope smiled, and he did as well. 

"I would, Penelope. You would not believe the things I would have done to get to you sooner that night, just so that I could be the one you married." Colin said, then as his fingers traced her cheek, she closed her eyes. His touch felt so natural, so perfectly perfect, like it was meant for her. Her chest heaved heavily as her breathing intensified. His fingers held her chin, and when she felt his hot breath against her skin, she opened her eyes, seeing his fixed on hers and so close to hers as well. 

"You are a very confusing woman, Penelope, but I love you either way. I am unequivocally and utterly yours for the taking." 

Penelope felt like she was ready for everything Colin had to offer her. She would be a wife, a mother and in love. She loved Colin Bridgerton, and Colin Bridgerton loved her. Perhaps the stars were aligned and they were meant to be together. After all they have overcome, all the pain and heartbreak they have both endured, lead them to this very moment in her mother's drawing room. 

"Just a few minutes ago were were screaming at one another. How did we get here?" She whispered as he pushed some hair strands behind her ears. 

"Perhaps we were always meant to meet at this point, officially." 

"I cannot disagree with you there." She said, her hands snaking around his waist as she cupped her face. 

"So, Penelope?" 

"Yes, Colin?"

"Would it be alright if I kissed you?" Colin asked. 

"You never have to ask me such a question again, Colin, because I love you. You can kiss me anytime it pleases you." She replied, then he pressed his lips against hers. It was a beautiful and tender kiss, but still intimately connective and passionate. After a few more lingering kisses, he rested his forehead on hers. 

"If your mother is right outside that door, I get to marry you in the next hour." She giggled, knowing very well her mother was. 

"That is not fair, you and I both know she is." 

"And that is exactly why I said so." Colin said, nuzzling his nose against hers. She closed her eyes once more as he did so, savouring his skin against hers. 

"You will need to do a lot more than romance me with words to get me to marry you, Mr Bridgerton. I wish to be serenaded and have my drawing room filled with all sorts of flowers and gifts. Mostly puppies." Penelope said as the foreheads parted. 

"Done." He said, his arms wrapping around her waist as well. 

"Colin, I was joking. There is no need for all that. As long I get to marry you, I will be the happiest, I promise." 

"That will not work for me. I shall fall on you for a week, but that all I am giving you, then I will propose. Formally." Colin said. 

"You know, you do not usually announce your plans to propose to the person you plan to propose to." Penelope grinned. 

"I am aware, but this is news I simply cannot keep from you. In a week, we will be betrothed." He added, then kissed her forehead. 

"Then I shall await the day it comes eagerly. Now come, we must let my poor mother out of her misery." Penelope said, and just as she was about to step away, he grabbed her wrists. 

"Oh, we could surprise them in a week. I will leave here as if nothing had happened, and you will go home. We can come back here in a week to announce our engagement and then we can announce it to my family as well." Colin suggested. 

"Are you suggesting we keep this to ourselves?" Penelope asked.

"Yes. Where is the element of surprise if we tell them all now?" Colin asked, and he made a rather fascinating point. One she agreed to. 

"Okay, it will remain just between the two of us. Not even Eloise will know." Penelope said, and he quickly pecked her lips once more. She wiped some of her lipstick of his lips with her thumb and tidied his jacket. He went to the door and opened it and just as they suspected, Portia stood outside, looking embarrassed that she had been discovered. 

"Mr Bridgerton!" Portia exclaimed as Penelope stiffled a laugh. 

"Lady Featherington, I was just leaving." He said, then departed. After, Portia rushed into the room and held Penelope's hand. 

"What did he want?" 

"Nothing, mama. I must go." Penelope said, faking a deep sigh and frustrated look, she left in a hurry. Her secret little rendezvous with Colin kept a smile on her face all the way back to Bloomsbury.

Chapter Text

For someone who had plenty of free time, Penelope felt as though she did not have enough time to prepare for Colin's first call. She knew she wanted to look her absolute best, and it did not help that she had so many options if beautiful dresses to choose from. Ultimately, she settled for a baby blue dress, a colour she has loved so much growing up after seeing how beautiful it looked on the Bridgerton's themselves. 

Rae had come into her room as her ladymaid styled her hair, telling her that Colin was in the drawing room. 

Penelope smiled like a teenager with a massive crush (she was that girl throughout her teen years). Rae quickly dismissed Penelope's ladymaid and stood behind her, staring at her through the mirror. 

"So I take it all is well with Mr Bridgerton now?" Rae asked, continuing where the ladymaid left off with her hair. 

"All is well, yes. We sort of rekindled our friendship yesterday, if you must know." Penelope said. 

"Friendship and a lot more, if you ask me." Penelope seemed confused as she turned to Rae. "The man walked in here with the largest bouquet of red roses I have ever seen!" Penelope's cheeks flushed red, and she began fanning her face with her hands to compose herself. 

"Truly?" 

"Yes, and he cannot stop smiling, much like you." Penelope looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her smile was very evident. 

"Then we must not keep him waiting any longer." 

_

Colin was a man full of love, but his nerves were slowly getting the better of him. He held the roses with shaky hands and yet another wrapped present in a box with another shaky hand. It was so large they fully covered his face. 

But then, it felt as though his nerves had died and his body exploded once she placed her petite hands over his, and she guided him into moving the roses aside. 

"Hello," she smiled brightly. He sighed with love and and a softened expression as he looked at her. 

"Hello," he breathed out, their hands still holding onto the bouquet of roses. "You look very beautiful today, Pen." 

"All you have seen is my face, not even the dress I have on." 

"I do not need to look, you would look beautiful in just about anything." 

"So flattery is what we will do today. I wonder what tomorrow has in store for us," she flirted, and Colin grinned. 

"We will just have to wait and see, now won't we?" Colin said as she lowered her hands. 

"Sounds like a plan, Mr Bridgerton." That name. His name, he usually hated it when she called him Mr Bridgerton, but in that moment, it sounded so perfect coming from her lips. 

"These are for you." He pushed them forward, and she accepted them, took them and gave it a long, lingering whiff. 

"They are perfect. Thank you, Colin." She smiled.

"If you had not said perfect, I would have ran off to find you a perfect bouquet, because you, Penelope, deserve perfection." She blushed, and Colin felt proud knowing he could make her blush. She placed the flowers on the table and she took his hand, leading him to the sofa. 

"So..." She said, and all Colin could do was stare at her. After all this time, he finally got to call on her and bring her gifts. It was all he really wanted. 

"So..." He repeated, his smile never fading. 

"Are you going to do that the entire time? Just stare at me like I am sort of art piece in a gallery?" 

"Well, you are a work of art. The powers that be took their time creating you," Colin did not think it were possible for her cheeks to darken more red. His grin widened as well as she lowered her gaze to her lap. 

"Can we just be normal, please? You would not say such a thing to any other lady you called on." Penelope said, looking up at him. 

"But you are not anyone, you are Pen. My Pen." 

"I am your Pen?" She laughed. 

"Well, yes. You are my Pen and I am your Colin. Would you prefer if I was someone else's Colin, and you were someone else's Pen?" Colin asked. 

"I could never be anyone else's Pen, just yours. Maybe Eloise's as well." Penelope shrugged. 

"You bring Eloise into conversation?" Colin said, looking amused. 

"I will always bring Eloise into everything. I love her." Penelope informed him. 

"And you love me too, and I love her, but Eloise is the last person on my mind right now." Colin shifted closer to her, and reached for her hand which she so gladly let him hold. 

"I wanted to tell her so badly, because she once told me to open my eyes and see you. That day I said we could no longer be friends, I cried and she tried talking some sense into me." Penelope confessed. 

"Really? Eloise would be okay with us?" Colin asked. 

"Absolutely, she would. She somehow knew my feelings for you had never really faltered." 

"You would like to honour her somehow? Perhaps we tell her first?" 

"That will be wonderful, actually. Then we can tell our family." Penelope stated with excitement. 

"That can be arranged, my wife." Colin proudly smiled. 

"I am not your wife yet. Technically, we are not even engaged yet." 

"But we will be, and you will be my wife. I do not see why I should have to wait to call you what you will be." Colin shrugged. 

"Have you ever been punished as a child?" Penelope giggled. 

"Why do you ask?" 

"Just wondering, that is all." Penelope shrugged. 

"I have been a model child. If you cannot already tell, I am my mother's favourite." He proudly said, but Penelope shook her head. 

"No, you are not." She laughed. 

"Why would you say that? Who do you think is her favourite?" 

"Definitely Gregory." Penelope informed him. 

"Even while away at Eton he still somehow manages to creep into my life like that." Colin groaned. 

"So you know he is the favourite child?" 

"I have had the suspicion for the longest time." Colin told her. 

"That is quite alright, Colin. I want you to know something, something quite marvelous, if you ask me." She leaned in, and he did the same. 

"What is it?" He whispered, their lips mere inches away from one another. 

"I want you to know that you are my most favourite Bridgerton." 

"Not even Eloise?" Colin asked, his hand cupping hers as she rested them on his cheek. 

"I love Eloise, but not like how I love you." Penelope pressed her lips against his in the most delicate of kisses turned hungry. Colin knew the effect she had on him, especially when she kissed him with such passion and purpose, but he knew better than to allow himself to get intoxicated by her in her drawing room, where anyone could walk in. 

And so, once they stopped their loving encounter, mainly to breath, he put her hand to his lips and kissed it. 

"I am afraid I must get going now." He said, looking into her blue eyes. 

"But why?" She groaned. 

"This is supposed to be a secret, my wife. We would not want anyone suspecting us, now would we?" He placed her hand back on her lap. 

"I suppose not." She pouted her lips. 

"And today is Sunday, so my mother is expected to see you pretty soon." 

"She is, and will I be seeing you at Bridgerton House later today?" Penelope asked as they both stood. 

"I will be there since Sophie is coming for tea and Benedict will not leave his wife's side, and us brothers will probably have a drink in the study." 

"That is fascinating to know." She smiled.

"You must contain yourself. We cannot have you kissing me, especially like the one we just shared in in front of my family." Colin joked. 

"I promise to behave myself, Colin. You need not to worry about me."

_

There was something inherently different about Colin, and Violet could not understand for the life of her what had changed. As he and Benedict spoke and laughed with one another in the drawing room, she could sense he was extra... happy. What could have possibly been the reason for the new spurt of happiness, or who? Violet knew Penelope wanted nothing to do with her son, but there had to be a reason. He seemed rather distraught after hearing she wanted to remarry, and now he was laughing? Had he moved on from her? Was Penelope no longer the woman he loved?

She certainly wanted her son to be happy, but because Colin and Penelope had such a similar story to her and her late husband, she wanted to see them grow into something bigger than friendship. The love was there, but it was never executed with precision. 

"Dearest, have you heard from Penelope?" Violet leaned towards Eloise. 

"Not since she wrote to me, no. Why do you ask?" Violet was still staring at Colin, and Eloise picked up where her concern was directed. "He does seem rather chipper than usual. You think Penelope might be the reason?" 

"I am not sure, since they are no longer friends." Violet sighed. 

"Did she say she is coming today?" Eloise asked. 

"Yes, and Portia is coming as well." 

"And Lady Danbury? I ask because Colin is here right now. Perhaps the three of you could conconct some sort of plan." Eloise said, and Violet looked at her daughter confused. 

"What do you think we are, mythical creatures? Matchmaking is hard work. It takes time and precision. We simply cannot just lock them both in a closet." Violet said. 

"That sounds like the only option we have, really." Eloise scoffed. 

"Why are you all of a sudden so on board with this match?" 

"Because as much as she tries to hide it, Penelope loves him as well. She must just open her eyes." Eloise said. 

"If you can see it, clearly it must be true."

"If I can see it? What is that supposed to mean?" 

"You did not see it for years, Eloise." Violet judged. 

"Well, that is true. Now that I know, it is very obvious." Eloise sulked back against the sofa. 

"It is almost tea time. You must go and call Sophie and Kate." Violet said, and Eloise did as she was told, while Violet eyed her sons once more. Benedict was basking in the joys of being a newlywed with a baby on the way, and Colin just seemed happy. The reason for that, she did not know. 

_

"Is Penelope always late for Sunday Teas?" Kate asked as they gathered around the table. 

"Knowing her, she has a book in her hand letting time pass her by. By now, she is probably rushing to get here. I would know because I used to work for her." Sophie laughed. 

"Now we know the true reason why she is always late." Lady Danbury added. 

"Portia, how did yesterday go, since we are speaking of Penelope?" Violet asked. 

"Oh, yes! Violet mentioned you invited some gentlemen old enough to be your own father." Kate said, rather repulsed. 

"I had to! That girl is too stubborn for her own good! And it went as planned. She disliked Lord Lumley, basically insulting him in the process, I am uncertain how her meeting with Lord Fife went, but then Colin came, and then she went home." Portia sighed. 

"You did not try and listen to their conversation?" Agatha asked. 

"Wait, Colin was there?" Kate asked. 

"We expected him to show up, really." Portia said. 

"The three of you really are geniuses!" Kate said with pride. 

"It was all Agatha who executed the plan." Portia said. 

"And Portia who called upon those old geysers." Violet added. 

"And Violet who knew her son would go running to Penelope at the news. If only we knew what was said." Agatha added. 

"Do you know, Eloise?" Sophie asked her. 

"I do not, I am just as lost as the rest of you, which brings me back to our conversation earlier, mother. Why can we not just lock them in a closet?" Eloise protected. 

"Because, Eloise-" Violet sighed. "That is just wrong." 

"I am afraid they would only scream at one another, as I heard plenty of that, until I could not hear anything at all." Portia said. 

"Could you make out what they were screaming at one another?" Kate asked. 

"I could not, I'm afraid." 

"Since we have so much more people who are keen to see them together, perhaps we can come up with a better plan." Eloise opened her mouth after Agatha spoke. "One that does not involve locking them in a room together." Eloise closed her mouth and sighed in defeat. 

Before they could scheme, Penelope walked into the room with the most beautiful smile Violet had ever seen her wear. She was happy, much like Colin. 

Interesting....

"Good afternoon, everyone. Forgive me for my tardiness. I simply lost track of time." Penelope said, sitting on the empty chair next to Eloise. 

"Pen, whatever were you doing?" Eloise asked, popping a piece of fruit in her mouth. 

"I was just doing a bit of writing, some reading here and there and oh! I have some exciting news!" Penelope exclaimed.

"You found someone to marry?" Portia asked, and Penelope shook her head. 

"That search is still on. What I wanted to say is that I am a few chapters shy from finishing my book." Penelope reeked with excitement. 

"You were writing a book?" Kate asked. 

"Yes, for years now. I think you are the only one here who does not know of this." Penelope said.

"Well, Penelope, that is great!" Kate exclaimed. "I cannot believe I sit in the presence of an almost published writer." 

"Indeed, and thank you, Kate. It has been a long journey, but I am almost at the finish line." Penelope sighed, and Violet could not help but smile at her. 

"We are proud of you, dear. I hope we will get to read it before it is published." Violet said. 

"Of course, you will all receive your very own copies." Penelope smiled, then she reached for her tea. "Now tell me, what sort of scheme did I walk into when I first arrived?" 

"What do you mean, Penelope?" Agatha asked. 

"Oh, you all seemed like you were about to get into the thick of a deep conversation, or scheming. I would just like to know why it ended when I arrived." 

"We do not know what you speak of." Portia told her daughter, and Violet knew she would not believe them, so she lied on their behalf. 

"Penelope, we were speaking of Colin." She stopped sipping her tea when she heard his name. 

Interesting...

"Colin? Why?" Violet nudged Eloise gently next to her. 

"Oh, we know you and my brother are no longer friends, so we did not want to talk about him before you." Eloise added. 

"There is no need for that. We speak freely here, do we not?" Penelope asked. 

"Since we are back on the Colin talk, we noticed he has been very happy, as of late. We just wanted to know why." Violet shrugged. 

"Oh, he is happy? Well, that is good." Penelope said, hiding her face behind her tea cup. 

"Yes, we thought maybe it was someone who made him happy, but we haven't the slightest clue who it could be." Violet added. 

"And for how long has he been like this, happy?" Penelope asked.

"Yesterday, actually. He disappeared for a bit, and this morning as well, but we are just as confused as you might be." Violet said. 

"Oh, well then perhaps you should just ask him. He would tell you, would he not?" Penelope asked. "He believes himself to be your favourite child, even though he knows it is Gregory, so he will tell you." Violet's eyes slowly widened. 

Just a few days ago, Violet had received a letter from her youngest son at Eton describing his time away, and Colin caught her staring and smiling at the letter. She mentioned she missed her son, and let it slip that he is her favourite. A mother is not supposed to have favourites, but Gregory was such an easy child and he was such a loving soul. In truth, they all had days when they were her favourite, but that day it was Gregory, and Colin was a little jealous of this fact. So clearly, Colin must have mentioned something about Gregory to Penelope, and recently. 

"Why does Colin think Gregory is my mother's favourite?" Eloise asked as Penelope shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Clearly she had something she was not supposed to. 

"It is just something he told me a long time ago." Penelope shrugged, then cleared her throat. Violet knew that was a lie. 

"Nevermind Gregory, and I certainly do not have a clear favourite. Perhaps I will speak to Colin." Violet shrugged, and the conversation quickly shifted to something entirely different, and with every opportunity she had, Violet stared at Penelope. For the first time in ages, she felt a sense of happiness knowing what she knew. He did not need to confirm it, she did not need to confirm it. Their drastic change towards one another, their change of behaviour, suddenly happy, gave her all the information she needed. She smiled at the idea of Penelope possibly being her new daughter in law. 

But then again, she did not want to get her hopes up. She could either be entirely right, of very wrong, and she hoped she was right. 

Chapter Text

A week later...

The day had officially arrived, the day Colin would propose to Penelope. She knew it, and he has never been more certain about anything in his life. He made his way to Penelope's home from his in Bloomsbury. Usually he would take a leisurely walk to her house since they lived so close to one another, but he felt like this occasion called for a carriage. 

Upon arrival, he was guided to the drawing room where he took a seat, awaiting his bride with anticipation. His nerves arrived once more. This time, he was jumpy and jittery. Asking her to marry him was nerve-racking. With his leg pouncing with anxiety, he fiddled with his fingers as he waited. 

His head instantly shot to the door at the sound of her laughing, and he smiled. Her laugh was one of his favourite sounds from her mouth. It was infectious and angelic, and he could not help but smile, but the sound of a very familiar voice interrupted his happy thoughts and wiped his smile away. 

Eloise. 

She would certainly ask questions, like why he was in her drawing room with the largest bouquet of yellow flowers he could find. He thought it would be appropriate, since he always admired her, even when she did not think herself worth admiring in her yellow dresses. 

"Colin?" Penelope's eyes widened with clear shock and confusion as he stood, the flowers he picked up from the table nearby. Eloise came into view looming just as confused. 

"Brother, what are you doing here?" Eloise asked, crossing her arms. 

"I thought you were coming by a little later? I told you Eloise would be here this time." Penelope said, and Colin watched as his sister looked at Penelope. He had completely forgotten about Eloise's visit. 

"You were expecting him? Did you expect him to bring flowers as well?"

"Well, yes. He has brought flowers everyday since last week." Penelope smiled in his direction with such a loving gaze, and the way her head titled gave him the idea that she finally registered why he was in her drawing room. 

"We did want her to know first, out of everyone else." Colin shrugged. 

"That, we did." She stepped closer to him, and he met her halfway. 

"Know what?" Eloise asked, and Colin looked over Penelope's shoulder meeting his sister's confused eyes. He then moved his eyes in Penelope's direction and grabbed her hands in his, and Eloise gasped. "Is this- is this real?" 

Colin smiled at her with so much love and admiration. His WIFE. Penelope smiled in return. 

"I cannot wait any longer. Please, do it." Penelope suggested, and Colin kissed her forehead in the gentlest way possible. Then, he released her hands from his right grasp and went down on knee. 

_ 

Before Eloise stood her best friend with her back facing her, and her brother on one knee before her, after she told him she could not wait any longer. This was a rather curious interaction, but either way, Eloise was in awe. Her heart swelled as she stepped closer towards the couple, Colin gazing up at her lovingly and Penelope nearly on the verge of tears. Still, she had a pleasant smile on her face.

Penelope seemed like she wanted this, and Eloise was given a front row seat into watching her best friend became her sister. In truth, Penelope has always been like a sister to her, but through Colin, she was going to be her official sister, a Bridgerton. Eloise fought the urge to jump on the spot with excitement, and decided to let her brother speak instead. 

_

Time felt like it had slowed down for Penelope as she watched the man she loved go down on one knee. Her skin felt like it was covered in goosebumps with Colin looking up at her. Her legs felt like it was going to cave in, her arms wanted nothing more than to cradle his face and kiss him senseless. Her lips craved his and more importantly, she craved to utter that one word that would make them become one. 

"My Pen, I have practiced this speech for the longest time, and I have come to a conclusion. No amount of practice could have prepared me for this moment, but what I do know is that my love for you is infinite. The limited does not exist, and I will speak to you directly from my heart." Colin took a deep breath, and Penelope ached to scream that single word at him, but she wanted to let him finish. 

"You have ruined me, Penelope. In the best possible way. Once I knew I was in love with you, you have been a constant on my mind. In truth, you have never left my mine since then, and most of all, you have invaded just about all my dreams. I have always wanted the greatest love story, and you and I are the greatest. Look at all we have had to overcome, and now here I am, on my knee, confessing my undying love to you. Do you see how much you have ruined me?" Colin joked, making Penelope laugh a bit. 

"You are truly the best woman I know. You are kind, and very caring and I love you with every fibre of my being, even the parts you do not love, I love them even more. I love you for everything I am, everything I was, and everything I hope to be. I hope to honour you, and I will prove myself worthy of your love for the rest of my life. You are brave, brilliant and a woman with the sharpest mind. You are remarkable in every sense. In truth, I find you incredibly phenomenal, a woman with great beauty and brain. I am beyond grateful that a woman as brilliant as you loves me. If my only purpose in life is to love a woman as brilliant as you, then I will be a very fulfilled man, indeed. I will be by your side for whatever journey you wish to venture on, your proud husband, but in order to do so, I must ask you a very important question." Penelope smiled as a tear slipped from his eyes and she quickly wiped it away, then he slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a red velvety box. He opened it with great speed, yet delicately. Penelope gasped at the ring he had shown. 

"And so I ask you, Pen; will you make me the happiest man in all of Mayfair, and the world, by marrying me?" 

"Yes," The easiest yes she has ever given. Ever! Eloise clapped her hands and bounced on the spot next to her, and Colin slipped the ring on her finger. It was perfect and dainty, much to Penelope's liking. Her stomach welled in knots as he slowly rose to his feet and leaned in, kissing her so gently in front of his sister. 

_

A few minutes later, Colin and Penelope sat huddled up in each others arms with Eloise sitting opposite them with tea and a book. Penelope stared at the flowers on the table. Yellow roses. 

"Did you mean to get me yellow roses?" Penelope asked, her head resting on Colin's shoulder. 

"I have admired you since you wore yellow, I just did not realise I loved you. So yes, I think it was rather fitting to get you yellow roses on the day I propose." Penelope lifted her hand up, and Colin placed his hand under hers as she admired her ring. 

"I am to be your wife." She said with a smile. 

"But you already are my wife to me, if you must know." Colin chuckled. 

"I am aware, you have called me such for the last week now." Penelope smiled. 

"Should I give you two a moment alone? You have not acknowledged me since the proposal." Eloise huffed. 

"Sorry, El. And no, we do not wish to be alone." Penelope said, lifting her head from Colin's shoulder. 

"Really? We do not?" Colin asked, amusingly. Penelope shot him a look. 

"No, Colin. We want Eloise here, and we know she has questions she would like to ask." Penelope turned back to face her friend. 

"Right, when did this all start?" Eloise pointed between the two of them. 

"A week ago, after you told me Penelope wished to remarry." Colin replied. 

"And you have been meeting each other in secret?" Eloise crossed her arms. 

"Yes, and believe me, I wanted to tell you, but we decided to keep it between us at first, but we agreed we would tell you first before anyone else." Penelope said. 

"I am upset I did not know, but in truth, I am happy for you both. It had taken you so long to get to this point, and I am happy to see you both be happy with one another. My brother and my best friend." Eloise smiled. 

"Thank you, Eloise. That truly means the world coming from you." Penelope said, then Eloise looked at Colin. 

"By the way, mama, Lady Danbury and Lady Featherington had been plotting to match the two of you together for a while now." Eloise said. 

"Really?" Colin asked. 

"Yes, and mama suspected this already. Of course, I said it was not possible but she said after having tea with Penelope last Sunday, she thinks you two might be together, and she was right." Eloise shrugged. 

"Was I truly that obvious?" Penelope asked. 

"Apparently so, but I could not sense a thing. It was just a normal tea for me. But you know our mother. She is incredibly intuitive." 

"Exceedingly so, yes. She will be thrilled to hear of this news." Penelope added. 

"So, when will you tell the rest of the family?" Eloise asked. 

"Tonight, and I believe mother is hosting a dinner party with my future mother-in-law and Lady Danbury?" Colin asked. 

"Yes, that is tonight. You picked the right day to propose, Colin. They will be excited to here this." Eloise added, then her face went all serious. "Have you both worked through all the reason Penelope had not to remarry?" Colin and Penelope looked at one another, revisiting a conversation they had three days ago:

Three days ago...

They settled into comfortable silence in her outer bedchamber, enjoying a cup of tea and those sweet cinnamon biscuits Colin so loved. Penelope made sure the cook had prepared them and followed the cook at Debling Manor's recipe preciously. Rae had often popped in a checked if they were comfortable and if there was anything they needed, but they always said they were okay. 

Penelope felt anxious, knowing Colin would ask her to marry him in a couple of days, but still, they spoke about their families and other things, not about what they really needed to. Penelope made the decision to bring it up. 

"Colin?"

"Yes, Pen?" He asked, looking up at her from his little notes he scribbled in his journal at her desk. He looked rather prince-like, the way his curls brushed forward, almost covering his eye.

"Perhaps we should talk about something else, something I have been meaning to bring up for the longest time." She fiddled with her tiny fingers, in hopes her nerves would settle. Colin put his quill down, and he stood up and sat beside her. 

"What is it?" 

"I was hoping we could talk about the reason why I chose not to remarry, and I know it might be difficult for you to hear, but with the day you propose slowly nearing, I think we should have a discussion about it." Penelope said, and he faced his entire body to hers. 

"Okay, let us talk, then. You mentioned never remarrying. Something must have changed your mind. Do you wish to talk about that?" Colin asked her in the gentlest form. 

"I, I realised I wanted to be a mother, and I could not have children unless I remarried. It was a decision I made whilst deciding what to do with all my money. Where will it go once I am no longer around? I unconsciously noted that my children would receive my money, and it made me realise that despite the decision I made after I lost my daughter, Eloise, that I wanted more children. Children to love, to care for, children to raise with good morals and values." Penelope replied, unsure as to how he might react. 

"So, you are basically saying children are the only reason to remarry?" Colin asked. 

"If I were to remarry, and it was not you, children would the the only reason. But now, I have children in my future and a husband whom I so dearly love and appreciate." Penelope smiled. 

"I so dearly love and appreciate you as well, Pen." Colin replied. "Is it okay if I ask you a question?"

"Of course." Penelope added. 

"The last time you were with child, I can only imagine what it was like, especially since your daughter was stillborn. Do you consider yourself ready to be with child again? I know you want to be a mother, but to be with child, are you ready?" Colin asked her as she sighed. 

"I have never truly thought that far, to be honest. All I know is I want children, and if I have to go through pregnancy again, so be it. We will take it one day at a time." 

"You really are the bravest woman I know, Pen." Colin leaned in closer to her. 

"As are you, but a brave man, instead. You have waited all this time for me. Another man would have given up and married another. But not you, Colin. You stayed and too waited for me to mourn my losses, and you are embracing me despite all I have gone through. You are the bravest and most honourable amongst men." She replied. 

"It is because I love you, Penelope. It has always been you, now until my last dying breath."

"I know you do, and that is why I must tell you something else, mainly because I want you to know everything before you propose." Penelope nervously said, turning her body to him so their knees touched. 

"Okay?" Colin asked, confused. 

"Alright, so we must speak of Alfred." Penelope sighed, her heart suddenly filled with nostalgia as she remembered her love for him. "I still think about him, a little less these days but I still remember him."

"You were married to him, you loved him. Of course you still think of him." 

"That does not bother you?" Penelope asked. 

"Pen, do you love me?" Colin asked. 

"Yes, I do."

"Then it does not bother me. He was your first husband, and a great one. The man stopped his travels to be with you and I could tell he made your dreams part of his as well. He was a good man, so of course you fell in love with him." Colin took her hands in his. 

"He was a great man, and now he is no more. My life has been, as of late, riddled with plenty of what if questions."

"Questions such as?"

"What if he had lived? What if our Eloise had lived?" 

"And what do you conclude everytime you think of that?" 

"I think, I will never truly know the conclusion to those questions, because they are both gone. My husband and our daughter is gone, and I cannot sit and dwell in the past any longer, so now, I have decided to look ahead, to focus on my future with you. They will always be loved and remembered by me, but you are my future, Colin. It is you I am in love with, and it is you I wish to have at least five babies with." Penelope smiled. 

"Five? Why are we stopping at five? Eight seems reasonable." 

"You will not impregnate me eight times, Colin Bridgerton. It was merely a jest, me suggesting five." Penelope laughed. 

"Before we get into the baby talk, I want you to know that I will support you every step of the way, in which ever way you choose to remember them." Colin said, a soft smile on his face. 

"Thank you, Colin. You saying that means the world to me." Penelope replied. 

"Of course." 

"Now tell me, what makes you think eight is a reasonable amount of children?"

"Because I am one of eight."

"And I am one of three, so why not three then?" Penelope asked. 

"Because, our children will be Bridgerton babies, not Featherington by last name." 

"But they will be half Featherington." 

"And completely Bridgerton." He smirked, then pulled his hands away. "I will make a deal with you. If our firstborn is a boy, you decide how many kids we have and if it is a girl, I will decide." Colin suggested.

"Okay, deal." Penelope said. 

"I will even let you choose the name of our firstborn, whether it be a girl or boy." Colin said. 

"Truly?"

"Yes, I mean it. But if it is something crazy, I will be stepping in." 

"No crazy names, I promise." Penelope crossed her heart with her index finger. 

"Good." 

"And, do you have any specific baby names already, Pen?" Eloise asked after they told her about their discussion. 

"Yes, I have plenty written down in my journal." 

"And I am trusting that is all good names." Colin slinged his arms around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. 

"They are good, I am certain you will love them." Penelope smiled. 

"Well, you will not get a breather once you inform our mother, yours as well, Penelope." Eloise informed her. 

"That is why we are embracing this private time together now, because tonight they will bombard us with questions and affection." Colin said. 

"It is hardly private if I am here." Eloise scoffed. 

"You are smart, Eloise. Perhaps you could pick up on my subtle hint?" Colin moved forward, staring at his sister. 

"You wish for me to leave?" Eloise's eyes widened. 

"You are smart!" Colin smiled. 

"But I was here first! Pen?" Eloise and Colin looked at her, hoping she would serve as some sort of peacemaker. 

"No, absolutely not. I am happy to spend time with either of you alone, or both. I am not picking." Penelope lifted Colin's arm from her shoulder and placed it firmly on his lap. 

"But I am your favourite Bridgerton!" Colin moaned. 

"That is a blatant lie! Pen, you said that?" Eloise looked offended. 

"Once again, not coming in between whatever this is." Penelope stood up from her seat. 

"I love you!" She said as she made her way out of the room. 

"I love you too!"

"I love you more, my wife!" 

Colin and Eloise looked at each other. 

"Clearly she was talking to me. You are embarrassing, brother." Eloise scoffed as she leaned back and continued her reading. 

___

Later that evening, Colin and Penelope arrived at Bridgerton House fashionably late, and upon their arrival in the drawing room, they saw their family all chatting and laughing, until their arrival together sparked some grinning eyes. 

"We are engaged!" Colin yelled at the top of his lungs. Hyacinth was the first to react and she immediately attacked Penelope's with the largest hug known to hugs. 

"Hyacinth, is my wife to breath?" Colin asked with Colin as Violet approached the pair. 

"I cannot help it! It is just- we have known Penelope for all this time and now she is to be my sister!" Hyacinth proudly said as she parted their hug. 

"Nobody is more excited that we will be sisters than me, Hyacinth. I suppose we should thank Colin for making it happen." Penelope nudged her head in Colin's direction, and Hyacinth hugged him as well. 

"Thank you, Colin. And congratulations." Their little embrace gave Violet, Agatha and Portia enough time to swoop in and congratulate Penelope. 

"I did not see this coming, not tonight, especially." Violet hugged her. 

"But you knew it was coming. Eloise informed us you suspected something." Penelope smiled. 

"And I was right." 

"You suspected, and you did not say a thing?" Agatha asked. 

"It was a suspicion! I could have been wrong." Violet defended. 

"Either way, I am so beyond happy for you, my girl." Portia said with a teary eyed, and Penelope felt like she was on the verge of tears as well. Portia's hug felt so warm and inviting, much like Hyacinth's. 

"Thank you, mama." Penelope said as she wiped some tears away that gently fell. 

That was the summary of the rest of their night... Answering pressing questions, wedding talk, flower girls... Hyacinth insisted on being a flower girl, and Penelope could not disagree with her. 

Colin and Penelope were finally at together, and everything in the universe felt perfect. 

Chapter Text

The newest social season was finally amongst them, and as much as Anthony Bridgerton thought he could relax and bask in marital bliss with his wife and fatherhood with his son, he knew was to come. The social season meant gossip and the return of the most notorious writer in all of Mayfair, Lady Whistledown. He had heard through sources that she had been good with her quill, but he feared Sophie's parentage would make them the scandal of the season. Of course, he would protect his new sister fiercely, but he simply could not trust the writer to make good and keep her words good. 

But one thing he was most definitely excited for, was his brother's wedding to Penelope Debling (nee Featherington). It was about time they connected on a more deeper level, and he hoped all his siblings, those unmarried, would receive the same love and affection he had with his own wife, his own Kate. Gregory made it clear that their marriage was something of an inspiration for him, and he hoped for the very same once his time came. 

Anthony watched Kate and Penelope bond over their private tea. As the Viscountess of the family, Kate felt she had to bond with Penelope a lot more, since she was going to be married into their family. 

"And then, I came to the conclusion that perhaps he was just a little constipated. He was not making mean faces, he was just a little frustrated man." Upon Kate's conclusion, Penelope started laughing, and Anthony soon realised they were talking about Edmund. 

"That is rather adorable, actually." Penelope beamed. 

"He certainly is a remarkable child. Anthony and I are so grateful for our little boy." Kate smiled with pride, and Anthony smiled at his wife, who smiled with pride. 

"Cannot wait to be his favourite auntie. I take that role very seriously." Penelope said, then took a sip of her tea. 

"I am certain he is already besotted with you. It is your hair that intrigues him." Kate replied. 

"Then I suppose I should thank Lady Portia Featherington for that." Penelope shrugged. 

"Indeed." Kate chuckled.

Anthony looked at his soon-to-be sister, and he could see why Colin was so in love with her. Penelope was kind and caring, and she did not have a bad bone in her body. She is perfect for Colin, in every sense. He was so glad to see their union come to fruition, after seeing her grow up with the family, basically becoming an honorary Bridgerton in the process. 

"Penelope, I must ask." Anthony leaned forward from the settee, his hands clasps underneath his chin. 

"What is it?" Penelope asked. 

"You know, the new social season is upon us. Certainly you could have waited for another gentleman to sweep you off your feet. You could do better, you know." Anthony joked. He enjoyed teasing Colin in that sense, and Penelope as well. But mainly to tease Colin. 

"If you must know, I love your brother. I certainly could not do better. He is the best." Penelope said with pride. That was exactly the answer she gave every single time, and Anthony adored it. This brother managed to find the best woman for him, and she saw him as the best as well. 

"If you say so, unless you could wait to see what Whistledown says about the eligible gentlemen. Then you can make an informed decision." Anthony said, leaning back and he noticed her shift, a little uncomfortable. Perhaps she shared the same hate for Whistledown as him? She did say rather condescending things about Penelope. 

"That is something I am not looking forward to. Whistledown returning. It was rather quiet and joyous without her biting words." Anthony stared at Penelope this time, taking his eyes off his wife. 

"You think her words are biting?" Penelope asked, her hand placed on her neck. 

"I think she has a way of exaggerating the truth, which is biting. Some of her words are exaggerated." Kate replied. 

"Then you must forgive me." Penelope sighed, and she seemed rather nervous. 

Could she be.... no, certainly not.

"Whatever for, Penelope?" Kate asked, a little concerned. 

"For my biting words, and exaggerated writing." Penelope confessed, and Anthony's eyes widened. 

This this a confession? This is a confession!!!

"You mean to say, you are Lady Whistledown?" Kate asked, then she placed her teacup down on the table. 

"Yes." Penelope said in defeat. 

___

The confession was out of nowhere. Penelope did not expect to expose herself as the writer to the Viscount and Viscountess. Instead of reacting, Kate and Anthony exchanged lingering look, uncertain as to what the needed to say next. Instead, Anthony rose to his feet. 

"You must excuse us, Penelope. I believe tea time has ended." Anthony said, and Kate rose to her feet as well. She took Anthony's hand in hers and they left the room quickly, not giving Penelope any time to protest their actions. 

She wondered what they had run off to discuss, if they would oppose her marriage with Colin, if they might expose her to the rest of the ton. The fear of the unknown left her flabbergasted and light headed. She could handle being exposed, but to oppose her marriage to Colin? That was something that would certainly break her heart. 

In a panic, she stood up, collected her things and rushed home. She decided he could reach out to her if there were anything he desperately needed to discuss. 

_

Later that evening, Violet entered the study after being summoned by Kate and Anthony. 

"What is the meaning of this impromptu meeting, dears?" Violet asked, referring to the married pair. 

"We must await Colin's arrival. It is of urgency." Anthony replied, and this lead Violet to believe something horrible had happened. Or not horrible, just bad. 

"Would you like to tell me what this is about?" Violet asked. 

"We should wait for Colin." Kate firmly said, and Violet nodded her head. Now she was all the more confused. If it involved Colin, perhaps it had something to do with Penelope. The three of them stood in silence until Colin arrived a few moments later. He entered the room with the largest smile, and Violet smiled because of how happy her son looked. She had Penelope to thank for that, and she made a me talk note to do just that the next time she encountered her. 

"Family, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Colin asked as he made his way to the trio. 

"Did you know Penelope is Lady Whistledown?" Anthony asked, his voice a little agitated. Violet looked at Colin, and they exchanged little looks. 

"Pardon?" Colin asked. 

"She mentioned it to Kate and I this morning. She confessed to being Lady Whistledown." Anthony said once again, and Violet could tell her oldest son was not too happy about this news. 

"Yes, brother. I knew." Colin said, and Anthony scoffed. 

"You knew and you did not tell us a thing? And now, she is going to be your wife?" Anthony asked, coming closer to Colin. 

"Brother, she has done great things with Whistledown. Please, do not let her past mistakes be used in this argument right now." Colin pleaded. 

"She wrote things about this family, about you, about me, about Kate, and for God's sake Colin, about Eloise! She nearly ruined Eloise for coin!" Anthony huffed, his chest heaving in the process. 

"Anthony, calm down." Violet voiced, and he quickly looked at her. 

"And you, mother. Did you know? You seem a little too quiet." Anthony asked. 

"I knew as well, Anthony. And I must admit, Benedict knows, and Eloise, and Sophie as well." Violet added. 

"So almost everyone knew but us? I am rather disappointed that you all chose to keep such sensitive information like this from us." Anthony said, looking at Kate briefly. 

"We knew you might respond like this. I think everyone will be glad to know she is Whistledown. Hyacinth will love it, as will Francesca. Gregory will not care one bit." Colin said. 

"That is not the issue here, Colin. What if she cannot get gossip from the events she attends and chooses to exploit us? Have you thought that far? Do you not see how complex this is? She is Lady Whistledown! If society knew of this, they would really have her head on a spike." Anthony said, a little concerned. Violet could tell. He was upset about the news of Penelope's secret literary persona, but he was also concerned for her safety. 

"I would protect her, as would the Queen herself." Colin said sternly. Kate and Anthony looked at each other. 

"Her Majesty knows?" Kate asked. 

"Penelope confessed to her shortly after the Mondrich Ball a few years ago, when her majesty asked for a moment alone with us and the Featheringtons." Colin informed them. 

"That long ago? You have known since then?" Violet asked. 

"Eloise knew much longer, Benedict overheard my conversation with Eloise and Sophie was the maid of Lady Cowper, the one writing those cruel words the night of Penelope's birthday. Sophie is quite smart. She figured Penelope out herself." Colin replied. 

"And what if someone else out there is as smart? Then what will you do?" Anthony asked. 

"Nothing, because Penelope only ever feared what the Queen might say, but since her majesty knows, we will do nothing, unless we absolutely must." 

"And Penelope will not turn her back on us. We have seen her grow up before us." Violet assured Anthony and Kate. 

"I do not wish for our family to be at the centre of yet another scandal. Penelope as Whistledown is a scandal." Anthony sighed. 

"She has done a great job masking her identity. Nobody will know." Colin said, stepping closer to his brother. 

"And Agatha Danbury knows as well. She is in good hands, dear. You must trust that all will go well." All three of her children looked at her.

"Lady Danbury knows?" Colin asked. 

"She is the Queen's closest confidant. Of course she knows." Violet shrugged. 

"So basically the whole ton knew before us? That is just perfect! What if this information got into the wrong hands?" Anthony asked.

"Family, you must see this from our perspective. Anthony and I are concerned, that is all." Kate gently said. 

"And I appreciate your concern, but Penelope is a lot stronger than you may think. Look at all she has overcome. If the ton were to find out, I am certain all she would want is our support. I know where I stand, but can she count on your support as well?" Colin asked, and Violet smiled as Colin defended his future wife. Her boy was certainly growing up and maturing into a fine young man. 

"There is much to think about, brother. But we intend to pay Penelopea visit soon. Just give us some time." Anthony replied, and Colin simply nodded his head. 

__

Penelope paced his drawing room that evening, patiently awaiting his arrival. His butler had let her in and since they knew of their bethrothal, they did not think it odd or suspicious that she came at such a layer hour. She was offered some tea and biscuits, but she was filled with too much nerves to even stop and eat. Colin's housekeeper, Miss Lily, excused herself after Colin was announced, and when she saw him at the threshold of his drawing room, she rushed over and wrapped her arms around him so tightly, she did not even consider if he were to breath or not. 

"Pen," he said with a light chuckle as she wrapped his arms around her as well. "I know we have not seen each other all day and I apologise for that, but if you missed me this much today I would have cancelled mu appointments." He said as he cradled her face with his big hands against her cheek. 

"Do you know?" Penelope softly asked, and his face changed. He let out a little sigh, which gave her the answer she seeked. 

"Anthony spoke to mother and I, yes. I know." Colin said, his thumbs caressing the skin on her cheek. 

"And does he oppose our marriage?" Penelope nervously asked. 

"That will never happen, Pen. You are to be my wife, come hell or high water." Colin said, then leaned down and kissed her lips so softly, yet so passionately at the same time. He always kissed her like that, with passion. It was one of the only words she could think of. But she had no complaints. Colin Bridgerton was a great kisser, and she loved his lips on hers. 

"You are my wife, Penelope." He whispered against her lips." 

"Not yet. Your brother still has time to oppose." Penelope replied. 

"Pen, he will not. I am certain of it." Colin said. 

"I cannot bare the thought of not being with you, Colin. We have come so far to get to this very point in our lives-" she quickly stopped her words, and pulled away from him. "You mother knows I am Whistledown?" Penelope asked, her jaw slightly dropped and her eyes enlarged.

"She does, yes." Colin said, stepping closer to her. 

"Oh, dear God! I cannot see her! This is truly breaking her heart and if there is one thing I will not witness, it is me breaking your mother sheart. She must be so disappointed in me." Penelope cried out, and she had not even realised the tears that were flowing from her eyes. 

"Penelope, my darling, you could never disappoint my mother!" Colin said, so endearing she almost beloved him. 

"No, she is probably sitting and wondering how I could have written such things about her children. Colin, I can never look at her again!" Penelope replied, sobbing through tears. All Colin did in response was hold her close to him, so close she could hear hisbrapid heartbeat. His hand was placed firmly on her head and she stroked her hair, providing some sort of calmness to her. 

"You could never disappoint my mother, Penelope. In fact, she was rather impressed when she found out." Colin said as he placed soft kisses on her head. 

"Do you mean that?" Violet had offered her such kindness over the years and been one of the constants in her lowest points. The thought of disappointing her left Penelope feeling rather down. 

"I mean it, my love. She could not stop talking about how our dear Penelope is a published writer." Colin said, and she looked up at him with her blue eyes. 

"She said that?" Penelope asked, wiping her tears away. 

"Yes, Pen. She said that. You are not a disappointment at all. Do not ever say such things about yourself. You are an accomplished writer with a novel on the way. You are mesmerising and special." Colin smiled at her, and she felt truly loved and appreciated by him. 

"But your brother might still be against our union." Penelope sighed. "And I cannot help but wonder what he might say when he sees me again." Penelope replied. 

"He cares for you, he is just a little upset with you, but he will come around. I promise you this, Penelope. He will accept Lady Whistledown." 

"How can he when he despises her?" Penelope asked. 

"I once despised Lady Whistledown, and now look at me. I am an utter fool in love with her." Penelope smiled as she shook her head in disbelief. She asked herself this question quit a bit since they became engaged, and for a while after discovering his love for her, but she never dared to ask him. She found the strength, and gathered the courage to ask. 

"But why? I never truly asked you this before, but why? Why is it me you are in love with? Colin, you have travelled the world and you have been with women fat more beautiful than I. What makes me different from them? I am not as lean as lean as them, I do not consider myself beautiful and you considering you were once engaged to my very own cousin, whom I look nothing like, I know you must have a type of woman you desire. But why me?" The words flowed from her lips so freely; it was all the thoughts she once had but never dared to say them out loud.

"Come with me. I would like for you to see why it is you I so deeply love." Colin took her hand and lead her up the stairs to his bedchambers. She grew more and more tense while holding tightly onto his hand, wondering what it was he could possibly show her. 

Once the door to his bedchamber was closed, he positioned her in front of the large mirror in his bedchamber. There, he stood behind her, looking at her through the mirror with such determination. 

"Colin?" She asked as he looked up. 

"You wished to know why it is you I am in love with? Well, apart from what I cannot see, which is your kindness and your good heart, your sense of humour and your smart wit, I can only show you what is it so so often dream of about you." Coming voice was low, and she gulped slightly. The tension in the room grew hot and thick, and she gazed at him through the mirror. 

"You are the cleverest, bravest woman I have ever known," Colin stared at her through the mirror, their gaze holding steady and firmly as he spoke with his hand on the small of her back. 

"You make me feel seen in ways I have never felt seen before. And then there is..." He slid his hand up her back, slowly but slowly in the most antagonising pace until he touched the pin holding her hair up. 

"The way your hair cascades down your shoulder." He gently pulled her hairpin out and tossed it to the floor in an instant. 

"The way your eyes shine when you look at me, like two blue pools." His fingers traced the side of her face gently, slowly making its way towards her lips. 

"The firmness of your like parted just so..." his fingers traced the bottom of her lips, which sent tingles all over her body as she parted her lips upon his words. 

"The softness of your skin..." His fingers trailed across her skin in between the space where her neck and shoulder met, and her breath hitched slightly. The tingles she once felt were not sparks of electricity shooting through her body, which ultimately lead to her body burning with desire for man she so desperately craved. 

"And then there are other parts I've been dreaming about..." His hand grazed at the side of her breast at first, then his hand covered it completely. She placed her hand over his as he gave a gentle squeezed. She could not stop the small moan that escaped her lips at the jolt of pleasure she felt upon his squeeze. 

She knew exactly what she wanted to do. No, needed to do next. She turned herself to face him and pulled his neck as gently as she could so their lips could need. A forest fire ignited within her. His lips against her felt like heaven on Earth, and she kissed him with purpose, with passion, with ever once of fire she had within her. She gasped sharply as he pulled away from her. 

"I promise, this was not the intended outcome, so if this is not what you desire, you must tell me to stop. I am happy to wait until our wedding night." Colin said. 

"I do not wish for you to stop, Colin." She rapidly shook her head, and he turned her back around so she could see him undress her and unlace her corset. He made fast work, and she could tell her wanted this just as much as she did. 

Penelope felt like a virgin once more, her large eyes watching him undress her and as she caught a glimpse of herself, she seemed innocent, like she once was before marriage, or rather, on her wedding night to Alfred. They had done it before, but this time felt a lot different. It felt a lot more intimate, a lot more raw and a lot more real. The thud of her dress made her look back at him until she was left in her corset, which he expertly removed untile she stood before him in the mirror, naked. 

"Lie down." 

Those words alone left Penelope in a puddle. She followed his instructions, and made her way to his bed. There she watched him undress. It was tantalising and slow, a sort of strip tease Penelope enjoyed. Upon the removal of his pants, she stared at his member. The first time, she had not caught a proper glimpse of him and there he was, hard and ready to go. Slowly, he made his way to the bed and as he positioned himself to crawl, once he reached her feet, he picked up her foot and left wet kisses along her ankles, going all the way up to her knees. 

"Your body is pure perfection." He groaned, making her whimper with the each kiss. He began teasing her, slowly as be placed kissed inside her thighs, going from one to the other. She reached for his head, gripping his head for dear life, unable to bare anymore of his games. She wanted his lips on a very different part of her body, and she she guided his head just there, but he persisted. 

"At my pace, dear wife." He looked up at her. She was a horny mess, desperate for him to make contact. 

"Colin, please!" She gasped, as if the air had been knocked out of her lungs. Her desperate cries must have worked becaude before she knew it, his nose had nuzzled over the most sensitive bundle of nerves while his tongue lapped over her area. She cried out, her back slightly arched at the contact. His tongued worked it's magic on her, darting in and out of her. Penelope was certain with her eyes shut, she clujr see the entire galaxy above as she held his hair tighter. He groaned as she tugged his hair, which sent shivers down her spine. Somewhere alone her pleasure, she felt two fingers being thrusted into her and her mouth dropped open, but not a sound was made as they curved within her. His tongue going back to that sensitive nerves with multiple swirls and tender licks. Soon after, the room filled with her cries of bliss, of pleasure, of pure adoration for the man who nestled before her legs. 

"Colin..." She panted as she felt that all tell familiar sensation tingle in her stomach. "Just there!" She barely breathed out as his fingers plunched in deeper, hitting a certain spot repeatedly. Her ability to speak was squashed when he inserted yet another finger, and all she could bare to breath out were moans. 

"Aghhhhhh...." She let out a low, gutteral moan even Colin looked up to see if she was still okay, and when their eyes met, she could see how his blue eyes had darkened. Not once did his tongue move away from her. 

She was washed with a feeling of pleasure as she reached her orgasm in bliss and came hard around his fingers. Her body jerked at the sensitivity a couple of times, but Colin simply held her hips down as she continued to finger her slowly through it. 

Once his fingers were out, she laid there, her legs boneless as she dropped to the bed in an instant. Colin was done, and she was not either. She knew what his fingers were capable of, and she wanted him inside her desperately. His head peaked up and he slowly kissed her all the way up to her chest that heaved, to her neck, along her jawline until her grabbed his face and kissed him. The tip of his member grazed her entrance, causing her to moan into their kiss and Colin took the opportunity to gather her lips between his teeth. She tugged slightly, then released his grip on her lips when he inserted himself in her. She did not have to tell him to move this time. Her hips moving closer to his gave him the notice it was okay to move. 

His pace started slow at first, but the smile that cracked on her lips when his pace quickened and his moans became louder in her ear made Penelope wrap her legs around his instantly. 

"Oh, Pen-" he cried out as she began touching hims all over his back and shoulders. Somehow, his pace became even quicker and rougher, and she cried out even louder, as did he. 

"I am close..." Colin grunted, and the possibility of being with child made Penelope's heart swell, so she did not tell him to pull out this time. Not ever again. 

"I want your baby, Colin." His eyes fixed on hers put his pace never slowed down. 

"Are you certain?" Colin asked her. 

"Yes." She breathed out, and then he kissed her once more. His parted lips gave her to opportunity to slip her tongue into his mouth. 

After a few more thrusts, Colin waited for her to come first before he spilled his seed deep into her. The warm feeling inside her immediately made her gasp with delight. 

"Penelope!" Colin gasped as she pulled out and tumbled beside her. They both started at the ceiling, their breath a heavy mess and their chests both rising and falling. 

"Dear God, Colin! You are certainly a wonderous creature." She told him, and he chuckled. 

"That title belongs to you, darling. That was simply..."

"Out of this word? Because I saw the entire universe above." Penelope continued. 

"Certainly!" He replied, then pulled her closer to him for a quick cuddle. He placed kisses in her neck and on her jawline.

"You could be with child very soon." He whispered against her skin."

"I hope so. I do not wish to take a second with you for granted. You will make the most remarkable father." She replied. 

"And you, the most remarkable, most beautiful mother. Our children will be very lucky, indeed." 

Chapter Text

Violet Bridgerton treasured love matches above all else, and she was so fortunate to see her four oldest children in loving marriages and betrothals. Nothing made her heart happier than seeing her children happy. She had Simon, Kate, Sophie and Penelope to thank for that. They blended into the Bridgerton clan as smoothly as ever, and although they were the spouses of her children, she considered them her own as well, and they always seemed extra grateful for the love and support she had given them. 

As she stood with her children engaging in mindless conversation, she looked towards the entrance and saw Colin and Penelope walk into the Queen's Garden Soiree with their arms linked in one another. She tilted her head with a small smile, admiring the way her son looked at Penelope with pure love and adoration. After all those years of yearning for Penelope, he would finally get to call her his wife. She had heard him call her his wife a couple of times already, but once the bishop would pronounce them as husband and wife, Violet knew her son would call Penelope his wife more so than anything else.

"They do make a precious pairing." Eloise bumped shoulders with Violet, and her family all turned to stare in her direction, and they smiled as well. 

"It took Colin ages to make this official." Benedict added, his hand holding his Sophie's. Sophie's other hand rested on her stomach, and Violet knew that feeling all too well. It was a manner of protection for the unborn child, of ensuring all was well in there. Sophie did that quite often, and Violet smiled every time she did.

"You must tell me more of their dynamic. I did not know Colin is in love with Penelope." Sophie said.

"We discuss them over tea at home, my love. I have plenty to tell you." Benedict added, and Violet could not help but see the way Anthony stared at the happy couple, Colin and Penelope, that is. Anthony still held some anger towards Lady Whistledown, and the fact that nearly every one knew but him and Kate. She hoped her son would come to his senses soon and realize that Penelope was not a threat to them in any way, shape or form.

"Anthony, they will be coming here soon. Please, be civil. Do not make a scene." Eloise told Anthony, almost as if her daughter had read her mind. Anthony turned on his heels to face his sister.

"Eloise, I would never embarrass you or our family like that. How can you think that of me?" Anthony asked, a little offended.

"I did not mean for my words to come out as harsh as they sounded. I am simply saying that if you wish to be upset, do it privately. That is all." Eloise shrugged.

"I am not upset, just concerned, but we will discuss this further once we are home." Anthony informed them, and then as Colin and Penelope neared them, Penelope stopped in her tracks and Colin stopped right next to her. They whispered a few words to one another, and she could tell Colin was trying to convince Penelope that all would be alright. As much as he tried, he was defeated. Penelope weakly smiled in their direction, waving at Eloise, then unlinked their arms. Colin watched as she turned around and hurried off to her mother and sisters. Colin strode over with a deep, disappointed sigh.  

"Good morning, family." He breathed out, but the twinkle in his eyes were gone. His wife had left his side.

"Good morning to you too, dearest, but why did Penelope leave so sudden?" Violet asked, looking over Colin's shoulder and saw she had been stopped by Lady Danbury on her way to her family.

"She thinks you might be disappointed in her, mother, and she cannot bare the thought of ever disappointing you." Colin told her, and she shook her head.

"Whyever would she think that?" Eloise asked.

"Because she knows you know she is Whistledown."

"And did you tell her I am not? That I am rather impressed with her writing, and that I am in awe of her?" Violet folded her arms.

"I have told her that, yes, but she still thinks she has disappointed you." Colin replied. "So she sends her love." 

"That is just not it. I must go speak to her at once!" Violet was all but ready to march over and tell Penelope that she was wrong, but Anthony stopped her.

"Mother, would it be alright if Kate and I spoke to her first? She will be a Bridgerton soon enough, and she should know she has the full support of the Viscount and Viscountess." Anthony asked, and Violet nodded in agreement. 

"I suppose I can think of what i might say to her for the time being." Violet shrugged, and Colin turned to his brother.

"Do you mean that?" Colin asked.

"Do I mean what?" Anthony asked.

"Your support. Do you mean it? She was very concerned you might oppose our marriage." Colin said, and Violet's heart broke. Knowing Penelope was feeling what she felt, she wanted nothing more than to tell Penelope that all will be well, and that she had her full support, and she accepted her wholeheartedly. 

"She thought so?" Kate asked, looking at her husband.

"Yes."

"I hope you told her that I would never get in the way of your happiness, and hers as well. Yes, this matter is sensitive, but I am all for you marrying her. I would not oppose." Anthony said, his face softened. 

"Brother, then you must tell her that as well. Penelope wears her heart on her sleeve and she always expects the worst in any given situation. See all she had overcome, then you will understand why she thought so." Eloise added.

"Then we must arrange a meeting with her at once, husband." Kate said.

"Perhaps later today? Before Lady Danbury's ball?" Anthony suggested, looking at Colin. 

"I am afraid she is overwise occupied." Colin replied.

"Oh, come now, brother. You simply cannot keep Penelope all to yourself." Eloise rolled her eyes.

"That is not what I am doing. She is going to Debling Manor to pay Samantha, Vincent and Whitney a visit. She is really excited to see them." Colin informed them.

"Since you know her schedule so well, what about tomorrow?" Anthony asked, crossing his arms.

"Tea with her mother and sisters, and she has a fitting at the modiste." Colin smiled.

"You really do know her schedule." Benedict laughed, and Sophie did as well. "And for research purposes only, what will she be doing the day after tomorrow?" 

"Well, I am uncertain what she will be doing the morning, but later that day she has a meeting with a publisher. She is going to try and get her manuscript published."

"She has told you that before telling me? Well, now I am offended!" Eloise crossed her arms as Anthony did.

"I am her favorite Bridgerton, after all, and I think i might have been since the day I fell off my horse." Violet could sense the tease in his voice, and Eloise huffed beside her.

"That is simply untrue! You will say anything, brother. Next you will say she loves you more than she loves me." Every single Bridgerton in their circle rested their eyes on Eloise, who looked rather annoyed and nervously back at them. "That simply cannot be true! She is MY best friend." Eloise added, her voice slightly raised, but not so much to draw attention.

"Of course she loves you, Eloise, but Colin is to be her husband. That is a special kind of love." Violet tried comforting her daughter.

"But my love for Penelope is special as well. Nobody is more excited that she is to be my sister than I am." 

"She will be your sister, yes, but she will be Colin's wife as well." Benedict added.

"So does that mean I will no longer be the person she wishes to share all her secrets to? Am I to be replaced with Colin?" Violet placed her hand on Eloise's shoulder as her daughter looked up at her, mostly hoping to get the answer she wanted to hear.

"Eloise, you will always have Penelope." Violet looked at Colin as he spoke with determination. "You are her best friend, after all."

"You will not keep her from me?"

"Absolutely not, Eloise. I promise you."

___

After the Garden Soiree, Penelope had stood outside Debling Manor with a smile. It had been a while since she saw Samantha and the children, and of course she had to come baring gifts. She was guided to the drawing room, where Mrs. Clara greeted her with the warmest hug.

"Lady Debling!" Penelope smiled with her eyes shut into their embrace. 

"Mrs. Clara, it is wonderful to see you!" Penelope replied as they parted. "How have you been? I know it has been a while since I visited." Penelope added.

"I am well, thank you for asking. I take it you are as well? I read an interesting piece about you in Whistledown this morning." Mrs. Clara narrowed her eyes.

It was the first time since her betrothal that she returned to Debling Manor. Somehow, Mrs. Clara's speculation seemed to hit her in a spot of guilt she never expected to feel. The guilt of moving on. 

Here stood Penelope's in her deceased husband's estate, now his nephew's, and she was to be married to another man. She wondered how the staff might think of her at Debling Manor, if they might despise her, if they must think of her a certain way now. 

Penelope did not expect to allow her mind to play such a cruel trick on her, because before she knew it, Mrs. Clara lead her to the sofa for a seat. She must have clearly looked quite distressed as her mind replayed images of Alfred - his love, his protection, his comfort. Alfred was so excited to be a father, and that opportunity for taken away from him as well. How could she move on from her husband and daughter so quickly and so openly???

"What are you thinking, milady?" Mrs. Clara placed her hand on Penelope's shoulder. 

"It is nothing. Do not worry." Penelope faked a smile in her direction, but Mrs. Clara shook her head. 

"No, it is not nothing. There was a look." Penelope seemed confused. 

"What looked?" She asked. 

"Like, you are scared or something. Or, given the circumstances, you are wondering if you made a mistake." Mrs. Clara admitted, and Penelope looked away. She was certain she did not make a mistake, but how was she supposed to convince her hearts and mind of such a thing? It was torn in the middle between two: Alfred & Eloise, and then the other half was Colin. Instinctively, she leaned towards her love for her deceased ones, but she also yearned for her first love. 

"It is difficult, coming here and being happy about my engagement. I am happy, Colin is wonderful and I have known him since I was a child, but I cannot overlook what I feel for Alfred, and the daughter we lost. I have been so happy about my engagement, and not once did I consider Alfred and Eloise. They were a part of my life, albeit short, but still every much impactful to me." Penelope confessed.

"Is that what you are thinking of?"

"Yes, Mrs. Clara. Do you think less of me now?"

"Absolutely not! You moved on and you grieved your losses. In fact, I am happy for you. Some people take years to mourn their deceased loved ones." Mrs. Clara added.

"And should I have been part of those people who mourn for years?" Penelope asked with glossy eyes.

"No, milady. I am happy that you have found happiness once more. Your family in heaven is happy as well." Penelope let a tear slip at Mrs. Clara's words.

"Do you think so? They are happy for me?"

"I do, yes. You are no longer curled up in your room thinking about what you have lost. You are embracing your second chance at love, so, embrace it."

__

After her quick visit to Debling Manor, and catching up with her family, Penelope made her way to the market to pick up a few things she needed for the ball that night. She could have sent Rae or her new lady maid, but she was already enroute home and the market was on the way. She got some new quills, a stunning new hairpiece she would wear with her evening gown and some gossip - even if it was about her. 

"Penelope Featherington? Are you certain? Did she not marry that vegetable loving Earl some years ago?" Penelope hid behind the group of ladies as their backs faced her. They seemed to be looking at some of the item for sale by the knick knack stall at the market place.

"She was, yes. She is a widow now. Her husband died of a sudden heart attack almost three years ago." the taller brunette added. 

"And SHE is engaged to Colin Bridgerton?" The woman who spoke up first asked.

"That is possibly the most difficult news to digest! That chubby Featherington girl engaged to Colin Bridgerton? Why, that certainly sounds like entrapment. I simply must tell the ladies at Lady Danbury's ball of my suspicions!" Another woman exclaimed with glee.

"It is not even that I find hard to swallow. She is a Dowager Countess, and she is willing to lose her title, be it Dowager, to simply the wife of an untitled gentleman? Perhaps she is with child. Perhaps she took a page out of her very own cousin's handbook." The woman snickered and laughed, and Penelope, having heard enough, turned around and made her way back to her carriage. She was going to be the center of attention at the ball. She could feel it coming. 

Chapter Text

Colin Bridgerton always marveled at the extravagance of Lady Danbury's first ball of the season. The bright chandeliers, the deliciously delectable treats, the lively music... Those were just a few that sparkled his interest. Although they were flashy and exuded wealth, nothing compared to the moment he saw Penelope come down that flight of stairs in a bejeweled dark blue gown and sheer gloves. Benedict had even teased him because the hitch in his breath was evident. 

"She is quite beautiful!" Violet exclaimed with her hand over her chest. "In truth, she has always been beautiful, but that blue suits her very well." His mother added.

"You are very lucky indeed, brother. Penelope is a perfect ten compared to you, coming in at a negative 2." Colin brushed off Eloise's snide remark with ease, too mesmerized with is wife-to-be's utter beauty. He pushed pass his family and met her at the bottom of the staircase. 

"Fancy seeing you here, Lady Debling." Colin smirked as he extended his arm.

"I must say, you look rather handsome tonight, Mr. Bridgerton." Penelope said with her cheeks flushed. 

"Thank you, Pen. You look beautiful tonight." Colin enjoyed the fact that he could make her blush so actively and so quickly as well. 

"Thank you." She smiled in return. Penelope had a beautiful smile, and in that moment he vowed to always make her smile as brightly as she did in that moment. 

"Now come, my family is most eager to speak to you." Colin said, but Penelope's smile quickly faded. 

"Is it because of the Whistledown issue?" She asked, a little pensive. He could tell. 

"Not at all, love. And Whistledown is not an issue. We will talk about that some other time. Is that okay with you?" Colin asked, and she nodded her head. "Perfect, now come." Penelope linked her arm in his and for the first time in years, Colin felt excited to take a turn about the room because he had the most beautiful woman on his arm. He wanted all of Mayfair to see that it was him she chose, and they should be so sorry for overlooking her beauty. 

As proud as he felt, he could not help but see the whispering tongues wagging, and cruel chuckles being thrown their way. This was not the intention he had and once they reached his family, he could already tell Anthony had picked up on the vibe as well.

"What are they saying?" He asked.

"Do not worry about them, Anthony. If you have a moment, I would like a private moment with you and Kate, and you as well, Violet." Colin noticed the nerves settle on Penelope's face as she faced his mother.

"Of course, dear. Maybe a little while later." Violet smiled.

"I still wish to know why everyone is looking at us." Anthony asked as they scanned the room.

"I believe that is my fault." Penelope sighed, and Colin turned to face her fully.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I overheard some woman talking at the marketplace this morning. They believe I have entrapped you into this betrothal, that I am with child and there could not be any other possible explanation." Penelope said, sounding defeated. "They also mentioned that I am willing to go from a Dowager Countess to a Mrs., so it must be true."

"That is simply untrue!" Colin said, his voice a little louder than it intended to be. 

"I will wring their necks for speaking such nonsense!" Eloise added, just as intensely.

"It does not matter, I do not care what they think. They do not know what we know." Penelope replied, then Sophie, who should have stayed home but opted to join instead, spoke up.

"But Penelope, you always report gossip. Would you not have to include such talk as well?"

"I have not thought that far ahead." Penelope sighed, looking around at his family.

"Then you must print something in your favor, Pen." Eloise said.

"Or-" Colin smiled down at his Pen. "We could simply be ourselves. I could dance with you the entire night. It would seem improper, yes, but when has the rules of propriety ever scared us?" 

"Oh, that is not-" Anthony said, but Kate placed her hand on her husband's chest, stopping his speech.

"That is perfect. Show the ton you are in love." Kate added, and Colin smiled brightly.

"Then I suppose there is only one thing left to do.." Colin turned to Penelope and grabbed her hand. "We are dancing."

"You are supposed to ask, brother." Eloise said, rolling her eyes.

"Let us leave before you and Eloise start arguing once more." Penelope said, and Colin lead her to the center of the ballroom.

As Colin and Penelope rushed off with adorable giggles, Benedict took a quick scan about the room, seeing the ton follow their gaze on the pair. To make matters seem even more scandalous, Colin took Penelope's hand and pulled her against his chest, roughly but still in a gentle manner. They started dancing in the middle of the room, all while the next dance was scheduled to begin in a short few minutes. Benedict turned to his beautiful wife, who stared at them in awe. 

"Are they not perfect together?" Sophie asked, her gaze not leaving them once. 

"They do look good together, but they are the only ones out there." Benedict added. 

"Let them be, Benedict. It is rather romantic. Look how happy they look." Sophie said as she rested her head on his shoulder.

--

Penelope felt like it was just the two of them in the room, dancing away without a setlist playing as they moved together in unison. For most of their time in the beginning of their impromptu dance, they witnessed the gazed of the ton and their whispering growing louder, but with a few simple words, Colin managed to help her drown them out.

"It is just you and me, Pen. We are the only two people who matter here."

She took his words to heart, all while getting lost in his dark blue eyes. There was something about the way he held her while they danced that made her want to reach up, grab his face and kiss him, but she knew she would never be able to follow though, especially since they became the topic of conversation. 

"What is going on in your beautiful mind?" Colin asked, their bodies swaying together. 

"Just thinking about how I so badly desire to kiss you."

"That is easily remidied, dear wife." He smirked, making her laugh as she shook her head. 

"We cannot, Colin. Our mamas would have our heads." Penelope reminded him. 

"That is certain, and we need our heads if we plan to raise children together." Colin said. 

"And to grow old together." 

"And we need our heads because how else are we to kiss one another?" Colin asked.

"I suppose if they were to have our heads, they could simply store them together and press our lips together, so it seems like we are kissing for an eternity." Penelope said. 

"Your mind truly is a wonder." Colin did not give her a second to respond, because as spirited as Colin was, she did not expect him to dip her so quickly. His hands tightened on her waist, making her gasp. Once she was firmly back in his arms, she left the power of a million electric sparks course through her body as his fingers traced her cheek, down to her neck. Certainly improper for any unmarried pair, even a widow. 

"You just do not care. Were you ever punished as a child?" Penelope asked, making Colin laugh. 

"Is it that obvious that I can charm my way out of any situation? I could do so as a child as well." Colin replied. 

"No, I know. I thought perhaps your mother might have reprimanded you after I have retired home. Clearly, she did not."

"It is that endearing Bridgerton charm, I believe." 

"And I, amongst many of the women in the ton, have fallen for it." 

"I believe I did not need to charm you. You teased me mercilessly after I got attacked by a ghastly yellow bonnet."

"I apologized!" Penelope gasped. 

"But still, I was perplexed, to say the least. Getting knocked off my horse and still teased me about it? Your mother should have punished you, sweet Pen." Colin scrowled. 

"And she did, and I am glad for it. If she had not forced me to run across the square to apologize, I never would have met Eloise and become her best friend, and we would have never been how we are." Penelope replied. 

"So in your case, your mother punishing you lead you to the greatest gift you could ever receive?" Colin asked with a sly grin. 

"And what would that be, Colin?"

"Why, me, of course!" Penelope laughed at his answer. 

"Certainly, Colin. Although I was going to say it lead me to the Bridgertons. Your family welcomed me with open arms and friendly hearts. I do not know how I would have gotten by my childhood if the wind had not knocked my devilish yellow bonnet clean off my head and into your path." 

"And for that, I am thankful." 

__

"Are they aware there is nobody on the dancefloor with them?" Portia asked as she approached the Bridgertons, looking at the pair with a smile. Through Penelope, Portia got a taste of what a true love match is supposed to look like. The unwavering affection Colin has shown towards her and the manner in which he fawned over her made her feel so happy her daughter got to experience this kind of love. 

"Colin suggested an impromptu dance, yes. People have been talking about their engagement, and not in a good sense." Violet said. 

"Whatever are they saying?" Portia asked, her eyes darting towards her dear friend. 

"That the only reason they are engaged is because Penelope is with child." Kate added, and Portia felt anger slowly building within her. 

"How can they assume such lies? I should like to know who has been saying such things." Portia asked. 

"Penelope did not say who she heard it from." Eloise sighed. 

"You mean to say Penelope heard this herself?" Portia asked, her heart breaking in the process as Eloise nodded. Portia turned around and scanned the room, and she saw a group of older widows, a little years older than Violet and Portia. They were standing huddled together and kept pointing towards the two of them dancing. Clearly, her intentions were visible to the Bridgertons. She wanted to march over there and give them a proper tongue lashing, and just as she was about to walk off, Violet held her arm. 

"Do not cause a scene, Portia." Violet sternly said, and Portia gently removed Violet's hand. 

"That is my daughter and future son they speak of. I may not have always acted in their best interest but things are different now. They do not know Penelope or Mr Bridgerton at all, and I will do what I must to protect them." 

"I want nothing more than to right the wrongs as well, my friend. But not here." Violet replied, and Portia sighed. 

"I suppose you are right. Going over there with this anger bubbling under will only cause more harm. That is why I must not let that anger get the better of me. Do not worry, Violet. I promise I will not raise my voice, but they will be sorry for speaking in such a cruel manner about our children." Portia said in a low, confident voice, then she confidently strode over the the yapping group of women, who suddenly grew still as she approached them. 

"Good evening, ladies." Portia reluctantly faked a smile. 

"Lady Featherington, it is certainly good to see you here." Lady Bassilio added, looking at the two older women beside her with smirks. "Brave, even." Portia looked confused. 

"Brave, whatever do you mean, Lady Bassilio?" Portia asked. 

"Well, considering your daughter is with child, I assumed you and your daughters would have gone into hiding." Lady Glover added, her shoulders straightened as she pouted. 

"Two of my daughters are married, one is bethrothed to Colin Bridgerton. Which do you speak of?" Portia asked. 

"The one making a spectacle of herself with Mr Bridgerton." Lady Ronan said as she pointed at the two. 

"You know my daughter, the Dowager Countess, has been through so much. She was widowed at a young age, and she has lost a child, and yet you think it is okay to spread such lies about her. Do you truly think so little of her? What has she ever done to you to deserve such cruel treatment? Spreading lies about her, especially one so sensitive, would take years for her to recover. She is happy and she has found love once more. I will not let you stand here and deminsih her light. She deserved to be happy." Portia added. 

"Then why such a hasty engagement? Why so sudden after her husband's passing?" Last Bassilio asked. 

"Sudden? It has been years! She has mourned the losses in her life and has grieved in a healthy manner. Did you expect her to stay unmarried for the rest of her life? She is not even thirty yet." Portia replied. 

"And do you see the manner in which Mr Bridgerton holds her? It is improper!" Lady Ronan said. 

"They are in love! Please, do not speak of my children as if they are committing a crime. They love each other dearly, and they will be married soon." 

"And this soon marriage somewhat confirms that they have been together before marriage. That is what I assume, and the rest of the ton." Lady Glover said. 

"Since you choose to speak so freely of my children, let us speak of yours then. Lady Bassilio, is it not your son who has fathered an illegitimate child through one of his mistresses?" Lady Basillio lowered her gaze, and the two women beside her gasped. 

"Is that true?" Lady Ronan asked. Portia was lucky to know that her daughter was Lady Whistledown. It was discussed over tea recently. 

"Lady Ronan, your daughter is no different as well. Caught in a comprising position with Lord Gendry's third born son, forced to marry?" Portia scoffed. 

"They are married now." Lady Ronan scoffed. 

"That does not take away from the fact that we all know how their marriage began." Portia added. 

"And Lady Glover." 

"There is nothing you can say about me, Lady Featherington." Lady Glover wickedly smiled.

"Perhaps so, or perhaps you are better at hiding all the skeletons in your closet. But we all know you are probably the most conniving of them all. My children are good, Lady Debling, my daughter is good, Mr Bridgerton is good. Lady Bridgerton and I did not fail as parents. We raised good children who are in love and to be married. They have gone about things the right way. Unfortunately for you, you cannot say the same about your own children." Portia added, a final jab that made them look away with embarrassement. All three women hurried off, and Portia felt relief wash over her. 

"I bet that felt extremely satisfying." Portia suddenly turned at the sound of a very foreign voice. Standing now in front of her stood a gentleman with grey hair, oddly attractive enough toc make her gasp. She placed her hands on her hips, desperate to hold something. She needed to secure her balance. 

"You heard all that?" Portia shyly asked, turning her face away from him only to see Violet, who had stopped in her tracks. Violet gave her a knowing smirk, then turned and when back to her family. At this act, Portia grew more nervous. 

"I heard the way your tore into those women, I could not turn away. I admire a woman who is not afraid to speak her mind." The mysterious man said. Portia chuckled uncomfortably. 

"Forgive me, but a man your age admires women who are mute." Portia replied. 

"That is untrue. My late wife was always one who spoke her mind. Although we were not a love match, I admired that about her." He replied.

"You are a widower?"

"Unfortunately, yes. For six years now." 

"I am a widow for roughly the same amount of years as well." The mystery man shook his head. 

"Forgive me, I have not introduced myself. Lord Ellsworth. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady?" He asked, his eyebrows raised with hope. 

"Lady Featherington." Portia replied. Lord Ellsworth took her hand and placed a chaste kiss on her gloved hand. 

"You are new here?" Portia asked. 

"I used to reside in Mayfair, but my wife and I decided to settle in Gloucestershire. I moved back three years ago when my youngest made her debut in society." Lord Ellsworth said. 

"And she is still unmarried?" Portia asked. 

"I have always encouraged my children to find love matches. She has not, and she still has time to fall in love. She is young." Lord Ellsworth replied. 

"That is good of you. Love matches are rare, and your daughter must marry someone she feels comfortable enough to share her life with." Portia added. 

"Indeed. Forgive me, Lady Featherington. I had no intention of coming back to Mayfair and finding a companion, but when I heard you defend your daughter so honourably, I simply had to know who you were." 

"My children have always been my greatest blessing. It is the one good thing that came out of my marriage with my laye husband. There is nothing I would not do for my daughters." Portia replied. 

"Then I suppose we share that sentiment. I have three sons and two daughters. I would burn the world for them." Lord Ellsworth said, and the mention of burn made Portia feel hot, in all the places she ought not to feel hot. This attractive man had made her skin burn with desire, and she hardly knew him. 

"You have five children?" Portia asked. 

"I do, indeed. Harry and Harriet, Hugo, Harold and Hannah." 

"And I suppose your name starts with an H as well?" Portia giggled. 

"Whatever gave you that impression?" Lord Ellsworth giggled with her. 

"Just a noticeable trend I am detecting." 

"Then you are correct. My name is Henry Herbert Ellsworth." 

"Well, Lord Ellsworth, my name is Portia Penelope Featherington, and you will never guess what my daughter's names are." Portia smiled, a little too brightly for her liking. 

"Let me guess? Do they all start with a P?"

"Indeed, they do. Prudence, Philippa and Penelope." 

"Your youngest daughter hasvyour middle name." Lord Ellsworth said. 

"I have always loved my middle name more than my first name. Penelope is such a beautiful name." Portia replied. 

"And she is the one you were so greatly defending?"

"Yes, my Penelope. She has been through a great deal already. I was not about to let the ton and their slicing tongues cut through my daughter's confidence." Portia replied. 

"Well then, I believe I must call on you tomorrow." Portia nearly stumbled back at his boldness, but she appreciated it as well. 

"I would certainly like that." Portia smiled.

"I must go and find my Hannah. Perhaps she is in need of a swift rescue." Lord Ellsworth said, and they greeted one another once more. "I will see you tomorrow, Lady Featherington." 

"Until then, Lord Ellsworth." Portia said, and she smiled as she watched him walk off. It was not until she felt a hand on her back that she was shaken out of her daze. 

"He seems nice, mama." Penelope said, smiling at her mother. 

"He is nice, Penelope." 

"Lord Ellsworth, correct?" Penelope asked. 

"Yes, he has five children." 

"That's two more than you, but I suppose you both have other things in common?" Penelope asked. 

"All his children's name begin with the letter H." 

"That is remarkable! All your children's names begin with the letter P." Porria could feel her daughter teasing her. 

"Oh, do not mock me, Penelope!" 

"I am doing no such thing! From what I have heard, Lord Ellsworth is a good man with great family morals, and he is a Viscount." 

"A Viscount?" 

"Yes, mother." 

"I have never heard of him, or his family." 

"His family does not participate much in the social season, but I know his daughter Hannah is eager to find a love match." Penelope informed her. 

"He wishes to call on me tomorrow." Portia confessed, and Penelope smiled. 

"That is wonderful, mama!" Penelope hugged her mother. "You deserve to find love." 

"Love?" Portia pushed back. "Love has never been in my favour, Penelope." 

"I thought that about myself as well, mama. But now look at me. I am engaged to a man whom I believe would quite literally steal the moon for me." Penelope beamed, a beam Portia knew to be love. 

"You are lucky, my daughter. Not everyone is quite that fortunate."

"You deserve to be that fortunate. If you would like, I could make a quick comment about Lady Featherington and Lord Ellsworth lengthy conversation in Whistledown." Penelope said, leaning closer.

"You will do no such thing, Penelope!" 

"I jest, mother. But you just say the word, and I will do it." Penelope winked. "And thank you. Violet said you came here and defended Colin and I. I hope you know how much I love you, mama." Penelope hugged her mother once more. 

"I love you too, sweet girl." 

Chapter Text

A month had gone by in the blink of an eye, and much had transpired in that said month, but the event that lowered her spirits the most was her meeting with the publishing house. They had given her such a raving review, a glorious love story, something entirely different, but they could not risk their time and efforts on a book written by a woman as they were afraid it would not sell. Penelope suggested they publish her book under a pseudonym, but they were not still convinced. And so, with nowhere else to turn to, Penelope returned home with her heart in her throat and her dreams shattered. She was no longer herself, but at least she could continue her love for writing through Whistledown. 

Her talk with Anthony, Kate and Violet had been a successful one. For obvious reasons, they were concerned, and Penelope answered every question they had asked truthfully and honestly, until Anthony asked a very pressing question. About Marina. 

"Did you write about your cousin because you were jealous?" 

"Anthony-" Colin quickly interjected, and Violet had thrown her son a stern look as well. Kate shook her head at her husband's question, but Penelope, still being as honest as ever, answered truthfully. 

"I had no intention of writing about Marina. She was kind to me in the beginning, and for sometime after as well. When I learned she was with child, my mama forced her to marry an old man who was willing to accept the child as his heir to prevent her from ruin and from ruining our family. She refused. She wanted to marry someone around her age, and Colin had been interested her, so she became determined to make him fall in love with her." Penelope paused, given recent events with Marina, she did not feel comfortable speaking ill of the dead. 

"She was eager to marry him and unfortunately for Colin, he was the one who fell madly in love with her." 

"I was in love with the idea of her, Pen." Colin corrected. 

"Nonetheless, still in love." Penelope looked at Colin. "And that is okay. You loved her, and she did not. So-" she turned back to Anthony. "When I heard of her plan to entrap Colin, I tried to talk to him. I told him she loved another, but he would not listen, and then I discovered they planned to elope to Gretna Green and in a panic, I wrote what I knew, and I made sure to add she was with child before she arrived to Mayfair so people would know Colin had not fathered her children. I know he has been an advocate for a love match, and as his friend at the time, I did not wish to see him be trapped in a loveless marriage. So no, I was not jealous. Just a concerned friend. Although, I was heartbroken. Seeing the man you have loved for years court another so openly broke my heart so much so that I cried in Eloise's arms." Penelope replied, and she felt Colin grab her hand under the table. 

"That must have been difficult, but I know exactly how you feel, Penelope. I was once in a very similar situation like that. I would not wish that type of heartbreak on even my worst enemy." Kate smiled at her. 

"What is with my sons and courting the wrong women?" Violet asked in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

"I believe it had to happen, mother. Or else we would not have seen how truly blind we were." Anthony replied, kissing Kate's hand. 

"I suppose we have to thank you for your services as Lady Whistledown as well." Violet said, and Penelope looked confused. 

"I have written about your family. How so?" Penelope asked. 

"If not for you, Daphne would have been forced to marry Lord Berbrooke." Penelope's skin crawled at the very mention of his name. "And you saw the match between Daphne and Simon long before anyone else did." Violet added. 

"As you mentioned, you told Eloise not to see those political radicals as it would be seen in a negative light, and the Queen was suspicious of her already. If you had not published her secret, we would have lost everything and our family would have been ruined." Anthony added. 

"You wrote I did not truly know myself once, and you were right. If not for that wake up call, I probably would have been caught in yet another scandal." Colin added. 

"You have said some tasteless things about us as well, but all is forgiven. You meant no harm, we see that now." Kate said. 

"Although you could have been less creative and vivid with your words, we do see that you have this family's best interest at heart." Anthony ended off. 

_

Although she was disappointed, Colin never made her feel less than a writer. He still made sure to make her feel loved and wanted in every aspect, and he mentioned that they would try different publishing houses around the world until someone noticed her and her work. 

All was looking good ahead, with Penelope and Colin's wedding nearing. The ton had soon forgotten about Penelope (as they did most of her life) and their cruel words, and Portia and Lord Ellsworth had entered a surprising courtship. Penelope simply had to include it in Whistledown. 

It is clear that love knows no boundaries, and this statement can be confirmed through the seemingly unexpected courtship between Lord Ellsworth and Lady Featherington. This author is rather surprised to see where this match would go. Could we see love grow between the two and wedding bells in the near future?

Penelope could not forget the look on her mama's face when she showed up for Sunday tea at Bridgerton House with the issue in her hand. 

"Was that absolutely necessary, Penelope!" Portia came in with a huff, waving the pamphlet around. Penelope placed her teacup on the table as Agatha and Portia laughed. Eloise stood up and grabbed the pamphlet, reading the bit out loud. 

"My, my. Penelope! Writing about your mother's courtship?" Eloise said, slightly teasing Portia. "You forgot to mention how Lady Featherington's eyes light up when she sees Lord Ellsworth." Portia turned her head towards Eloise, who's teasing slowly faded and she sought out her mama, hoping to protect her against Portia's deadly stare.

"That was quite unexpected, I must say." Kate added. 

"People were talking about it. I had to include it." Penelope defended. 

"You said you would not write about it, Penelope, so I am going to assume two of my friends convinced you to write about it." Portia looked passed Penelope at Violet and Agatha, who stopped giggling like schoolgirls and nervously sipped their tea. 

"Did you both convince the great Lady Whistledown to write about Lady Featherington and Lord Ellsworth?" Sophie asked.

"There is no proof of that." Violet quickly said. 

"Oh, but I know it is the two of you." Portia's eyes narrowed. 

"Correct me if I am wrong, Portia, but did I not see his carriage arrive at the little Lord Featherington's estate this morning? You introduced him to Philippa and Prudence, correct?" Penelope gasped.

"Not fair, when do I get to formally meet him?"

"Violet, do not change the topic. I know you and Agatha convinced my daughter to write about us." Portia replied. 

"Oh, so there is an us to write about?" Agatha teased.

"Of course there is, Agatha. You know that. But I do not need the entire ton reading about it in my daughter's very successful column." Portia took a seat next to Penelope and Eloise. 

"But everyone already knows. I hope you know you are not allowed to marry him unless I have met him and his children, their spouses and his grandchildren." Penelope said. 

"And what are you? My mother all of a sudden?" Portia asked.

"Of course not, just a concerned daughter that is all. Colin also wishes to meet his new father-in-law. He is rather excited." Penelope teased.

"Oh child, you will be the death of me. Someday when you have children and they start a gossip column and they write about you in that very column, you will know exactly how I feel." Portia crossed her arms. 

"My daughter will not need to start a column. She could simply continue my legacy if she so pleases to." 

"What a thing you have created for yourself, Penelope." Portia added, and Penelope smiled. "But that does not mean I am done being mad at you." 

"Forgive me, mama. And yes, they did convince me to do so. They hoped it would speed up the process, that Lord Ellsworth would ask for you hand sooner." Penelope confessed as Violet and Agatha gasped. 

"I cannot believe you just outed us like that!" 

"Violet, I knew we had to slip her a few pounds. You thought it was not necessary." Agatha added. 

"A few pounds would still have made me tell my mother the truth." Penelope replied. 

"Then what is the point? We could have just gone to Lord Ellsworth ourselves then." Violet said. 

"And what of you and Lord Anderson? Perhaps I could tell Lady Whistledown that they have been courting for basically years and he has not even asked for your hand yet. Perhaps that will speed up the process." Portia said. 

"Penelope, you will do no such thing." Violet added. 

"Why not?" Portia asked. "You convinced her to write about me."

"Okay fine, I see what you mean now. Do forgive us, Portia." Violet said. 

"Yes, forgive us. We only wish to see you happy." Agatha added. 

"I understand that your intentions were pure, so I forgive you." Portia added. 

"Now when do I get to meet Lord Ellsworth?" Penelope asked once more. 

"I have arranged a separate visit for two days from now. Philippa is always around the Featherington Estate, so I just decided to kill two birds with one stone." Portia shrugged. 

"Can Colin come? He is most eager as well." Penelope asked, and as if he was summoned, her entered the room with a smile on his face. 

"Eager to marry you, of course my Pen." Colin smirked, and Penelope shyly blushed. 

"Oh, hush brother! You know not what we speak of." Eloise shooed him off. 

"Penelope said I am eager for something. I am eager to make her my wife." Colin retorted, his hands fixed on his hips. 

"As endearing as that may be, we were speaking of Lady Featherington and Lord Ellsworth." Colin gasped at his mother's response. 

"Oh, that I am eager for as well. When do I get to meet him?" Colin asked, and Eloise groaned as he pulled up a chair and wedged in between her and Eloise. 

"In two days. I have decided you should meet him as well. His daughter, Hannah will be arriving with him as well." Colin nodded his head. 

"Well, I will clear my day for this meetup." Colin reached over and grabbed a pastry, and to Eloise's disdain, she swatted his hand away. 

"Ouch!" Colin exclaimed, rubbing the sting away. 

"That is for us. You are not even supposed to be here right now, brother." Penelope took Colin's hand in her own and rubbed over the red-forming spot, but she soon realised his hand was smudged with a tiny bit of ink. Her eyes trailed towards Eloise's fingertips as she still soothed his pain. 

"Eloise, you have ink all over your fingers. Have you been writing?" Penelope curiously asked. Eloise quickly hid her fingers away from sight. 

"Uh, yes. Just a condolences letter to Sir Phillip Crane." Eloise said, and Penelope nodded her head. 

"Lady Crane passed away a few weeks ago. Did you not issue a condolences letter when it was first announced?" Lady Danbury asked. 

"No, I did not." Eloise answered, short and simple. Penelope narrowed her eyes as she looked at her best friend. She immediately knew that Eloise was hiding something, and Penelope became determined to get to the bottom of it. 

"So Colin, have you written to Sir Crane?" Sophie asked, rubbing her growing bump. 

"I have, and it is rather unfortunate that their children will grow up without a mother." Penelope liked Marina, although she was deceitful. She could not bare the thought of Oliver and Amanda growing up without a mother, and she hoped Sir Crane would marry another once the grieving process was finished so his wife could care and nurture for them. 

"Penelope?" Kate's words shook her out of her daze. 

"Kate." Penelope answered. 

"I simply asked if you were alright. You zoned out for a minute." Kate asked once more. All the talk of Marina's demise had left an unsettling, sort of familiar cramp in her stomach. She still hold onto Colin's hand for comfort. 

"Yes, I am well, thank you, Kate." The cramp occurred once more, then she took a moment while everyone spoke to listen and feel her body. The cramp, her aching muscles, the wetness between her legs...

Wetness?

She certainly was not aroused, so that lead her to another conclusion. She cleared her throat as she released Colin's hand. Pushing back her chair with the cramps still persisting, she stood up quickly. 

"Excuse me for a moment." She left the room quickly and once she was settled privately, she had made the startling discover that her courses had arrived. She dropped to the floor and silently sobbed, having felt like her body had betrayed her. She did not expect to have her courses for months, since her last sexual encounter with Colin had ended with him spilling his seed deep inside her. 

She covered her face with her hands and cried into her palm. It was only a little while later that she felt a hand on her back, which startled her. 

"Francesca-" Penelope sniffled, and wiped bed tears away. 

"Penelope, you are crying!" Francesca said, and then proceeded to help Penelope to her feet. 

"Oh, it is nothing." Penelope lied. 

"No, you are my sister. You must be honest with me." Francesca encouraged as they sat together. 

"It is not worth mentioning after all, so there is no need to discuss it." 

"Then I suppose we both shall sit here in silence until you are comfortable enough to go back to the tea party my mother is hosting." Francesca smiled at her, and Penelope felt at ease knowing Francesca did not push her to speak of it. She rested her head against Francesca's shoulder and wiped her tears away. 

"It is alright, sister. Whatever the matter is, I am certain you will get through it. You are Whistledown after all. Lady Whistledown can overcome just about everything." Penelope looked at at Francesca. 

"You know?" Penelope asked, her eyes widened. 

"Of course I know, Penelope. You are not the only observant one in this family. Whistledown started when you debuted into society. And given all the gossip you have reported, it simply had to be you." Francesca added. 

"You have known all this time and you have not told a soul?" Penelope asked. 

"I told John about it, and he said he could see how it is you. You stick to the walls, overhear gossip. You could easily slide in and out of a ballroom." Francesca shrugged.

"You know, it does get easier after a while. You will remember him and smile again, that I can promise you." Penelope softly said.

"I know that time will come, but right now I still cry at the mention of his name. I wish I could have given him children sooner in our marriage, and I also wish my own body did not betray me." Francesca confessed, and Penelope shifted so she could face Francesca fully. 

"Whatever do you mean?" 

"After John died, I was pregnant and I miscarried shortly after. That, you know. What you do not know is that I miscarried three more times before John passed away." Francesca said, her eyes beginning to tear a bit. 

"Oh, I am so sorry! Fran, I had no idea." Penelope took Francesca's hand in hers. 

"Essentially, only my mama, Kate and Daphne knew, now you do too." 

"Thank you for telling me, Fran. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me." Penelope said as Francesca wiped her tears that fell away. 

"No, do you care to tell me why you were crying?" Francesca asked. 

"My courses came, and Colin and I wish to start a family immediately, so much so we started trying already." Penelope said, her face turning red in the process. 

"There is no shame in that. You both are in love, and you plan to marry one another. So, I will not judge you for whatever happens between you and my brother." Francesca replied. Although Fran was a year younger than Eloise, Penelope always knew Francesca was the mature one between the two sister. She meant that in no harmful way, it was just like day and night, Eloise and Francesca. She loved Eloise tremendously, but she also could not imagine Eloise reacting the way Francesca did at her revelation. 

"Thank you for that." Penelope said, and suddenly her eyes felt heavy. 

"You feel like your body has betrayed you as well?" Fran asked. 

"Yes. For most of our lives our purpose has been to produce children for our husbands, so then what would our purpose be now if we cannot?" Penelope asked. 

"This is just one minor mishap, Penelope. Do not let that come in the way of your hopes." Francesca replied. 

"Do you know that I think?" Penelope began. "That the universe is punishing me in some sense. After my daughter died, I vowed never to have children again because the thought of losing another child was just too painful, and now that I have grieved and realised that I owe it to myself to be a mother, my courses arrive." Penelope ended off. 

"You must not think so negatively. We have both been through a great deal of pain, both so similar but we are surrounded by people who uplift us and encourage us to look at the bigger picture, so Penelope?" Francesca asked. 

"Yes, Fran?"

"You must see the bigger picture. I believe you will be a mother someday, and it is unfortunate that it is not now. I believe after you marry my brother he will take you to see the world and you both will write beautiful pieces and when you come back home, you will start a family. It will be alright for you. I am hopeful, and I have faith in you and Colin." Penelope's heart and her lips smiled at Francesca. 

"I believe the very same for you, Francesca. You will be happy again, and you will love again. Of that, I am certain." Penelope said and then Francesca pulled her into the warmest of hugs. Penelope appreciated her kind words and sentiments and she was so engulfed by the warmth she felt, she did not hear the door open. 

"Pen, oh-" Eloise's voice boomed through the study, but Penelope and Francesca did not part from their hug. Penelope's eyes remained shut, savoring the moment with Francesca. "I will come back a little while later." Eloise said, and closed the door as she left. 

__

Eloise Bridgerton had never felt more alone in her life than she did at present. Yes, she was surrounded by her loved ones, but they all seemed coupled up. Anthony and Kate; Benedict and Sophie; Colin and Pen; Franny and Pen... She did not expect the last pairing to ignite a sort of jealousy in her as it did. Penelope had been a family friend - basically part of the family for years! Of course Francesca would be comforting her in the study, or they would be comforting each other. She was certain Penelope would tell her all about it at a later stage.

Or would she? I had no idea Colin and Pen were courting until he showed up at her home ready to propose!

More so than ever, the thought of losing Penelope to Colin left an unsettling feeling in her stomach. Could marriage to her brother mean things would change between them? Eloise reflected back on Penelope's time being married to Lord Debling, and how he never made her feel like Penelope was missing from her life. Eloise missed Alfred Debling and their playful banter and teasing. She remembered the day she promoted the idea of naming Baby Debling, if a girl, after her. 

"Eloise would be a splendid name for a girl, would it not?" Eloise asked, holding a set of cue cards before her while Alfred remained seated behind his desk in the study. 

"If that is what Penelope wants, then yes." Lord Debling replied. Eloise shook her head in defiance.

"Alfred, listen. It will be an excellent name. I have reasons and-" She stopped rearranging her cards and looked up at him. "If that is what Penelope wants? You said that?" Eloise asked, a little uncertain. 

"Yes, I believe that is what I said." Alfred smiled. 

"You do not wish to name your daughter after your mother, or some close female relative?" Eloise asked.

"You have become a close relative of mine through Penelope, so I believe we will be naming our daughter after a close relative." Alfred responded. "But I should still like to listen to all your reasonings as to why you believe Eloise is the best suited name for our daughter." Alfred crossed his arms.

"Does this mean your daughter will carry my name?" Eloise asked with a grin.

"I did not say that. Perhaps if you sell it good enough to me, I will speak in your favor." Alfred said, and Eloise rambled on as to why she thought Eloise would be the best name for their baby.

She made her way back to the bustling table filled with laughter, and noticed that Colin had taken her seat. His chair was discarded whilst he joked around with the women around the table. 

First he takes Penelope, now he takes my seat??

She stood by the threshold of the room thinking of the times she encouraged her dear friend to pursue her own happiness with Colin, and now she felt like an outsider. Penelope may not have been a Bridgerton by birth, but she grew up as an honorary Bridgerton, and Colin would forever have that honor of making her one legally. Eloise felt alone in a house full of loving family members, all married and ready to catapult into the next stages of her life, all while she remained stationery. Gregory was passing her by, Hyacinth was going to pass by her very soon. Her own mother had a gentleman to keep her company and widowed friends to have tea with. Portia Featherington was being courted publicly; Lady Danbury continued to be elevated in status as each season came by. Eloise was the lonely spinster who let life pass her by. 

And so, in the depth of her own despair, she decided she was the decider of her own fate. If she had an glimmer of hope outside the Bridgerton clan, she was going to grab it with hands and pull until that glimmer of hope became her reality.

Chapter Text

The day had finally arrived; Penelope and Colin were set to meet Lord Ellsworth and Miss Hannah Ellsworth. Penelope had been excited to meet the gentleman her mother so openly courted for days and Colin was just as eager to meet him. Penelope was happy for her mother. She knew her mother married for security, and knowing her mother was prioritise her own happiness for once made Penelope extremely happy. Portia deserved love and devotion, just as much as the next person. 

"Dearest, where is Mr Bridgerton?" Portia asked as Penelope made her way inside the drawing room of bed mother's home. 

"He will be here shortly. He had to head to Bridgerton House first, Kate requested to see him." Penelope said after she hugged her mother. 

"Oh, now listen-" Portia began, then grabbed Penelope by the arm and lead her to the sofa. "You must not embarrass me in any way, shape or form. I mean it, Penelope." Portia's stern words amused Penelope. 

"Mama, I would never." Penelope smiled.

"I am just making sure you know, that is all." 

"I will be very well behaved, as will Colin." Penelope replied. 

"That is good to hear-" Varley came to the door and cleared her throat. 

"Lord Ellsworth is here, ma'am." Varley said with a grin. 

"Yes, allow him in." Portia gave Penelope one more look, then faced the door, awaiting his entrance. Much to her surprise, several people entered with the Lord. 

"Oh-" Penelope gasped, noticing they all bore a striking resemblance to one another. Maybe be wanted to have all his children with him. "Is this all his children?" Penelope whispered to her mother.

"I haven't the slightest clue!" Portia whispered back, then saw the man slowly approached the two of them. "Lord Ellsworth, thank you for coming." Portia greeted. 

"It is a pleasure to be here again, Lady Featherington. May I introduce you to my children?" 

"We are meeting all his children?" Penelope quickly whispered to her mother, who seemed stumped as well. 

"It seems so, yes." Portia whispered back. "Dear Lord, when will Colin arrive? He is the talkative one." 

"He will be here shortly, mama. Do not panic. We will be alright." Penelope said, and then she watched as her mother took full control of the situation. She went through greeting all of his children and waving kindly at his grandchildren. There were three little Ellsworths; Greta, Gilda and George. Penelope picked up the pattern with the oldest Ellsworth brother, but with the letter G. The youngest Ellsworth brother was a year older than Colin, and Hannah around the same age as Penelope. 

"So, I hear from father your are betrothed." Hannah said as the two of them spoke over tea. Penelope decided she liked Hannah the most. Her dark brown hair matched her hazel eyes perfectly, and Penelope learned she had no trouble on the marriage mart. She had even rejected quite a few proposals because much like Colin, she wanted to be struck with the lightning when the right person arrived. She told Penelope she knew who that person would be once she saw him. 

Since Hannah had not much participated in society and was the type of lady whom expected gentleman to come and find her, she hardly knew anyone in London apart from the people her father knew, and it was the son's of her father's friends she had rejected. 

"Yes, I am. He is a wonderful man, indeed. I have known him since I was a child." Penelope smiled, thinking of Colin. 

"All my friends growing up were ladies. Your mama did not find it improper to befriend a gentleman?" Hannah asked. 

"The opposite, really. We had grown up side by side so whenever we were alone nobody thought anything of it." Penelope replied. 

"And I also heard you were married once, and you are a widow now. My condolences, Lady Debling." Hannah replied. 

"Thank you, Miss Hannah. But that was a long time ago. I have moved on." Penelope smiled. 

"Still, losing someone you love must have been difficult for you. I know when my mama passed away, I was a wreck, but to lose a husband? That is a different kind of pain, I assume." Hannah replied. 

"It was extremely difficult in the beginning, but I had such a great group of supportive people around me." Penelope said, and then, Colin's jovial voice was heard by the door of the room. She smiled in his direction as he made his introduction to everyone in the room, greeting the little children, which tugged at Penelope's heart. She looked at Hannah, ready to point out that Colin was the man she was going to marry but Hannah seemed... Different. Her breath hitched, her eyes widened, her chest heaving slightly. 

Did lighting strike with her?

Penelope could recognise the look of affection towards another every well, and she became painfully aware that Hannah might have developed a little form of affection towards Colin. It was evident in her movements. Her breathing became unnaturally fast, like she was out of breath at the mere sight of Colin. She knew that all too well, having fallen in love with Colin Bridgerton at first sight. He had that affect on women, even when he was not even trying. 

"Who is that?" Hannah asked, her eyes still fixed on Colin. Penelope felt sorry for Hannah, having known she could not get what she wanted. 

"That is Colin Bridgerton." Penelope replied, and then Colin greeted Portia. 

"He is quite close to your family, I assume." Hannah asked as she still closely followed Colin's movement. 

"At this point, he is family. That is why he was most eager to meet your father as well." Penelope shrugged, and then in a sort of panic, Hannah grabbed Penelope's hand as Colin made his way to the settee they were seated on. 

"He is here." Hannah whispered, and Penelope felt like Hannah might squeeze the feeling out of her hand. 

"Yes, he is-" she said, then looked at Colin. "It took you long enough to get here. You have some explaining to do, young man." Penelope said, and Colin simply chuckled. 

"When did you become my mother, Pen? But you know, when Kate summons, we run." Colin said, then kneeled down and kissed Penelope's gloved hand. Hannah gasped. 

"Is this the childhood friend we just spoke of?" Hannah asked. 

"You spoke of me? Surely you could not have missed me that much, my dear." Colin said as he released her hand. 

"Do not flatter yourself, Colin. You were just a mere five second conversation. That is all." Penelope said with a teasing smile. Hannah let go of Penelope's other hand, and clutched her own in her lap. Colin turned to face her. 

"Forgive me, I believe we have not introduced ourselves to one another yet. I am Colin Bridgerton. You must be Miss Hannah Ellsworth." Colin said. 

"You would be correct, but please, call me Hannah." Penelope gave Hannah an amusing smile. For the duration of their conversation, Penelope had been calling her Miss Hannah, not once did she mention that there was no need for formalities, that Hannah would be perfectly fine. She decided not to comment on it, and turned to Colin instead. 

"Thank you, but you are a respectable lady out in society, I would very much prefer to call you Miss Ellsworth, if that is alright. My mother raised a gentleman." Colin replied, making Penelope chuckle a bit. Both Hannah and Colin looked at her. "What? You do not believe I am a gentleman?" 

"I said no such thing, I am just thinking of a jest Eloise made." Penelope lied, and Colin shook his head. 

"Very well, my love. I am certain it was most entertaining, indeed." Colin replied. 

"So, you are both set to be married in mere days. Any wedding jitters yet?" Hannah asked, and because of the way she fawned over Colin, Penelope saw Hannah in a very different light now. 

"Certainly not, at least on my end. I am ready to make Penelope my wife." Colin smiled. 

"That is rather sweet, but you both are not married yet, and yet you call her by her first name." Hannah asked. Penelope suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable by Hannah's simple question. She could not explain it, but she hoped Hannah was not one of those ladies who stopped at nothing at her what she wanted. 

"Childhood friends, we have never really been formal with one another, except those moments when we were mad at one another. Suddenly I become Mr Bridgerton to Pen, and she forced me to address her as Miss Featherington, or Lady Debling." Colin replied. 

"And your husband? He was okay with this friendship? Many would deem it improper." Hannah questioned, pointing between the two of them. 

"Colin was away for the most part of my marriage to my late husband, but when Colin returned from his travels, my late husband was fine with it. He knew the Bridgerton's are like family to me." Penelope said, slightly annoyed. 

"Your husband must have been very trusting. Now look at you both, betrothed." Hannah said, but just as Penelope was about to defend them, Colin spoke. 

"Penelope made vows to her husband, whom she loved very much. He had no reason to distrust any of us." Colin said, and he grabbed Penelope hand in the process. 

"Forgive me, I meant not harm in my questioning. I am merely fascinated, that is all." Hannah said in defense. 

"That is quite alright, Miss Hannah." Penelope smiled. 

"Lady Debling, it has been such an honour to speak with you. I am very excited to see where this courtship between our parents go." Hannah said. 

"You as well, and I find myself just as excited as you are." Penelope replied. 

"Mr Bridgerton, you have been a delight to meet as well. I certainly do hope this will not be the last." Hannah said, and Penelope wanted it set in stone that she did not trust Hannah one bit. 

"It was good to meet you as well, Miss Ellsworth." Colin replied. Hannah gave Colin one more endearing smile, then walked gracefully towards her sister. 

"That was rather interesting." Penelope said, and Colin looked at her with surprise. 

"Whatever do you mean?" Colin asked, and Penelope raised his hand and kissed it. 

"You are so oblivious, it is rather adorable." Penelope smiled. 

"Now I really haven't the slightest clue." Colin said. 

"Well, when you arrived she could not take her eyes off you. It is like she fell in love with you. And she hopes you both meet up again? Colin, certainly you cannot be that blind." Penelope said, releasing Colin's hand. 

"She was being polite." Colin said. 

"She told you to call her Hannah. She has not even made that offer to me, and her father is courting my mama." Penelop said. 

"Perhaps you are just seeing things." Colin shrugged. 

"Colin, you are a very attractive man and you have a string of women who have fallen in love with you in your rear view. Now Hannah is simply one of them." Penelope said. 

"I do not have a string of women behind me. Do I?" Colin asked. 

"How long did it take for you to realise I was in love with you?" 

"I did not know until told told me." Colin said. 

"Exactly! I am telling you, Hannah has fallen for you, at first sight. I would know because I was that girl so many years ago. I know when one is bitten by the Colin-bug." Penelope added. 

"Is that what we are calling it? The Colin-bug?" Colin chuckled. 

"That is what I call it. Just-" Penelope sighed. "Be careful around Hannah. I know you will not stray away from me, it is her I do not trust now." 

"Certainly, my love. Although I do think you might be wrong. How can anyone fall in love at first sight?" Colin asked. 

"I did!" Penelope added, and Colin laughed. 

"I know, I am just teasing you, my love." 

"Well, do not. I do not like this one bit. I wish I could steal you and drag you to Gretna Green." Penelope said. 

"What is stopping you?" Colin said in a low, husky voice. 

"Our mamas. They would be so upset." Penelope said. 

"We could just run off and deal with the consequences later, seeing that I have an new admirer." Colin said, leaving back against the back of the settee. 

"Do not make such jests. It is not the slightest bit funny. Hannah is beautiful." 

"Not nearly as beautiful as you, my love." Colin smiled up at her. 

"Okay that is it, we leave for Gretna Green in the morning. I simply must be your wife!" Penelope teased, but unfortunately for her, Portia stopped before the two of them. 

"You will do no such thing, Penelope." Portia sternly said, then her face changed as she gasped. "Unless..." 

"Mama! I am not with child." Penelope whispered, knowing it was what her mother assumed. 

"How can you be so certain?" Portia asked. 

"My courses arrived two days ago. I am not with child." Penelope said. 

"Good, now simply wait it out. Your wedding has already been planned. Now come-" Portia extended her hand. "Lord Ellsworth is set to leave. You will have all the time in the world to talk to Mr Bridgerton. Come and say goodbye. You too, Colin." Portia said and Penelope took her mother's hand. 

"Lord Ellsworth, it was so an honour to meet you. I certainly hope we can call upon you for tea this Sunday at Bridgerton House. You simply must meet my mother's friends, Lady Danbury and Lady Bridgerton." Penelope said, and she could feel her mother's eyes burning at the back of her head. 

"Is that not a tea reserved for ladies?" Lord Ellsworth asked. 

"It is, but Mr Bridgerton occasionally drops by. He shall keep you company as well." 

"I suppose I should accompany you, papa. Seeing as though it is a tea for ladies, if that is alright with you, Lady Debling?" Penelope wanted to scream. "Lady Featherington?" 

"Of course not, dear. You are more than welcome to attend with your father." Portia replied. 

"Then it is settled." Hannah smiled. 

"It is settled, indeed." Lord Ellsworth replied. 

Penelope, Portia and Colin greeted the rest of his family and Portia walked with them to their carriage, leaving Colin and Penelope by themselves. 

"Your courses came?" Colin asked. 

"Yes, that is why I left the table so abruptly during tea." Penelope confessed, and Colin grabbed both her hands. 

"That is alright, my love. That just simply means we must try even harder." He smirked. 

"And here I thought you said your mother raised a gentleman." Penelope giggled. 

"She most certainly did, but everything I was taught gets thrown out the window when I am around you. I did not know a person could become so addicted to another person's touch. You are addictive, Penelope!" Colin said. 

"Well, you might have that same effect on me as well, Colin." Penelope shrugged. Colin grabbed her chin with his fingers and leaned in for a deep kiss and she wrapped her arms around his abdomen. 

"Hannah is not invited to our wedding. The rest of them can come, we will simply say her invitation got lost in the mail." Penelope said as they parted lips. 

"You are thinking of Hannah in such a moment?" Colin asked. 

"She invited herself to tea after she heard you would be there." Penelope pointed out as Colin moved to cup her cheeks with his hands. 

"Nobody in the world matters to me more than you." Colin shook his head with admiration in his eyes. 

"That is a sweet sentiment, Colin Bridgerton. You matter the most to me as well. Never forget that." Penelope smiled. 

"Oh, I leave for a minute and this is what I come back to?" Portia's voice broke their little entanglement. "Your mother will be hearing about this, Mr Bridgerton." Portia warned. 

"Mama, that is not necessary. And besides, we are to be married. In ten days." Penelope said, her hands on her hips. 

"That does not mean you must disregard all things that are proper. From now on, I am going to suggest you both be chaperoned." Portia said. 

"Mama, we both live in Bloomsbury. However will you achieve that?" Penelope asked, slightly amused. 

"I will come and stay with you until the wedding."

"That really is not necessary -"

"No, dear child, it is. You both are acting like love sick puppies unable to breath without each other nearby." Portia said. "I must inform Varley to prepare my luggage. We leave this afternoon." Portia rushed out of the room before Penelope could interject. 

"Well, I guess we will be chaperoned until the wedding." Colin shrugged. 

"I might have been joking about eloping, but now I am certain we must." 

"Penelope -" she looked at the door seeing Varely there. 

"Yes, Ms Varley?" 

"You mother wishes to inform you that you will not run off to Gretna Green." Varley said, and Colin and Penelope looked at each other before bursting out in laughter. 

"Your mother is really good!" Colin said between laughs. 

"She anticipated my words, she truly knows me." Penelope replied, and then Varley made her way back to her mother. 

"But seriously Colin, I do not wish to share my favourite person with anyone. Please, Hannah is beautiful, so please do not fall for any of her attempts, if any." Penelope said earnestly. 

"I could never, Pen. You are the only woman for me, nothing and no-one can change that."

__

The Sunday came quicker than expected; Portia had been a true warrior of her words, watching Colin and Penelope like a hawk, even when they were surrounded by a table of women, Portia's eyes never faltered when Colin entered the room. 

"I fully expected to be scolded by Eloise as I entered. Where is my dear sister?" Colin asked as she sat beside his mother, opposite Penelope. 

"She is unwell, has been for a couple of days now. She took all her meals in her room." Violet replied. 

"Oh, that is a shame. I had a very good argument lined up as to why I am here." Colin looked around the table, seeing Francesca had joined them. "Sister! How wonderful to see you." 

"You as well, Colin. I take it you are most excited for your wedding in a few days?" Francesca asked. 

"Indeed, I am marking the days that pass with the utmost patience." Colin replied. 

"Patience? Then why is Portia suddenly staying with Penelope and acting as a chaperone?" Violet asked, and Penelope's face turned beet red. 

"That was a decision made entirely by Lady Featherington herself. She insisted, for whatever reason." Colin shrugged. 

"Oh, I might have an idea as to why she insisted." Agatha said, and Penelope wished for a distraction. Any one. Perhaps Sophie could go into early labour, or she realised she needed to use the chamberpot. Anything!

"Lord Ellsworth and Miss Ellsworth." The butler announced. It was certainly a distraction, but not the one she hoped for, since Hannah would be present. They entered the room and were instantly greeted by the women, and Colin. 

"Mr Bridgerton, we meet again." Penelope could not help but roll her eyes at Hannah's comment. 

"Certainly, we do." Colin politely replied. 

"And you must be Lady Bridgerton. It is an honour to meet you." Hannah said, and as Lord Ellsworth settled next to Portia, Hannah stood beside Violet with an eager smile. 

"Thank you, and I have heard a great deal about yourself as well." Violet smiled, and Hannah looked past Violet at Colin.

"You have been speaking about me to your mother, Mr Bridgerton?" She asked with a smirk. 

"Actually, no. That would be Lady Featherington speaking so highly of you." Colin replied, and then he gave Penelope a look with widened eyes. They keep each other so well, and Penelope knew exactly what he was saying. He picked up on the flirtatious way she spoke and looked at him. 

"That is true. Ladies Danbury and Bridgerton are such influential women in society. If anyone can find you a respectable and kind husband, it would be them." Portia added. 

"Thank you for your kindness, but there is no need. I have my heart set on a gentleman, but unfortunately he does not see me the way I see him." Hannah sighed, taking a set next to Colin. 

"Well then, you must make him realise what he is missing out on." Kate insisted. If only she knew...

"Clearly he is a fool for not seeing you. You, my dear, are beautiful." Agatha added. If only she knew...

"Thank you, but how does you suggest I do that?" Hannah asked. 

"Hannah, I had not idea you had your heart set on someone." Lord Ellsworth said. 

"It is very new, papa. I hardly know him, but what I do know is that he is kind and a true gentleman. He is what I seek in a husband." Hannah replied. Penelope felt this unfamiliar feeling bubbling up in her chest, in her throat, her skin scrawled with heat. 

Is this what jealously feels like?

"He sounds remarkable. Maybe we might know him?" Violet asked, and Hannah shly tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. 

"Perhaps he does not see you because his heart might belong to another?" Sophie voiced, and Penelope looked her way. 

"That might be the case, yes. But I do not know for certain." Hannah replied. 

"Well, if he does belong to another, I know of someone who might be perfect for you, if you are willing to meet him." Penelope found herself saying. 

"I would rather not. Being set up is not really my thing." Hannah replied. 

"Just trying to help." Penelope shrugged, and the table grew still. Uncomfortably still. So much so that Colin cleared his throat twice. 

"So..." Portia said. "Agatha, Violet, you both had so many questions for Lord Ellsworth." Portia smiled awkwardly. 

"Ahhhh, yes!" Agatha said. 

"This is such a beautiful home, Lady Bridgerton. Perhaps one of your children could give me a tour?" Hannah looked at Colin briefly, then back at Violet. 

"Certainly-" Violet smiled. "Kate? Penelope?" 

"I do not mind at all." Penelope quickly said. 

"I wish to see it all. Surely one of your own children would be better at giving me a grand tour. Perhaps, Mr Bridgerton?" Hannah clearly was done hiding her affection towards Colin, and even Sophie picked it up because Penelope felt a quick tap on her leg from her. 

"Penelope is my child, as is Sophie and Kate. They might know this house better than Colin." Violet said. 

"If Penelope wishes to give Miss Ellsworth a tour of the house, I do not mind tagging along." Colin said as he stood up, and Portia quickly opened her mouth, but Colin stopped her. "Miss Ellsworth will be our chaperone, Lady Featherington. There is no need to worry." 

"Very well." Portia said with a defeated sigh. 

"Then we must be off. I wish to pay Eloise a visit as well." Penelope said, pushing her chair back. "Perhaps you could pay your friend a visit whilst Mr Bridgerton and I tour the garden." Hannah said with a hopeful smile. 

"I am in need of some fresh air. Perhaps I might join the two of you in the garden whilst Pen visits Eloise." Hannah's smile faded, and Penelope could not be more grateful for her dear friend and almost sister, Sophie. 

"Perhaps I might join as well, Penelope, that is. I too wish to check on Eloise." Kate added.

"Very well, then I suppose we must be off then. Francesca, would you like to accompany us to the garden?" Sophie asked, and Francesca stood up. 

"I thought you might never ask."

_

As they made their way up the stairs, Penelope was silent and annoyed. Annoyed at Hannah and her antics. Annoyed at how she assumed she could get away with getting Colin to herself. 

"Is everything alright, Penelope?" Kate asked. 

"Perfect." Penelope replied. 

"It did not seem so at the table." 

"I am happy. I am marrying Colin in a few days. I am delighted, actually." Penelope replied, but Kate saw right through her. 

"Miss Ellsworth, you know she was talking about Colin." Kate said, and they stopped in the middle of the staircase. 

"What makes you think so?" Penelope asked. 

"Because, I could tell. From the moment she assumed Colin spoke of her. You must have picked it up sooner." Kate replied. 

"Well, I did. Colin thinks she was simply being polite, but I know that look. She's smitten. I was that girl once upon a time." Penelope said. 

"Colin loves you, he is going to marry you. You must trust that he will never do anything to betray him." Kate said, taking Penelope's hand. 

"I trust Colin with my life, it is her I do not trust." Penelope said. 

"After the performance she put on, I would not trust her either." Kate replied. 

"I am trying not to let the jealousy seep through, but it is difficult. I cannot help but wonder what she might be saying to him at this very moment, and what he might be saying in return." Penelope sighed. 

"I am certain Sophie and Francesca will tell you all about it later. Colin as well." Kate said. 

"I know they will." Penelope replied. 

"So then there is no need to worry. It will all be fine." Kate said with an assuring smile. 

"Thank you."

"You are very welcome, Penelope." 

_

When Penelope opened the door to Eloise's room, she saw the quickness in Eloise's actions. She quickly hid what she was doing by her desk. Kate had made her way back to the table. 

"Pen!" Eloise said with shock. "Learn to knock, will you?" Eloise huffed. 

"Forgive me, El. I did not meant to startle you. I was merely worried about you. I have not seen or heard from you in a week." Penelope said as she entered. 

"I have been feeling under the weather. It might be catching, so I suggest you stay a respectable distance from me." Eloise had never been a good liar, but Penelope decided not to push her any further. 

"Thank you for telling me. I would hate to be sick on my wedding day." Penelope said, making her way to the window. She caught a glimpse of Colin, Hannah and Sophie in the garden. Francesca was seated on the bench nearby. 

"You did not have the displeasure of meeting Hannah Ellsworth." Penelope scoffed. 

"The displeasure? Oh, what did I miss?" Eloise asked. 

"Nothing much -" Penelope started, then turned around to face her friend. "Just that she plans to steal Colin away from me." Eloise gasped at the revelation. 

"You jest!" 

"I jest not. She is clearly attracted to him." Penelope said, and Eloise bounced off her bed and stood besides Penelope, overlooking them in the garden. 

"Oh, she is hideous, like an utter troll living under a bridge. I bet she reeks as well!" Eloise said, and Penelope knew it was in hope to lighten Penelope's spirit. 

"She is beautiful, and she smells great." Penelope sighed. 

"So, what do you want to do? I suggest you write a nasty piece in Whistledown about her." Eloise folded her arms. 

"I cannot do that. My mama will will have my head." Penelope laughed. 

"I say write the piece, elope with Colin and then come back after the dust has settled." Eloise said, making Penelope laugh. 

"It is not that simple, dear friend. My mama is courting her father." 

"Well, that certainly makes things a lot more complicated." Eloise said. 

"I thought you were ill, and yet you stand so near to me." Penelope narrowed her eyes. 

"I am feeling better now that you are here." Eloise bumped shoulders with her. 

"That is good to hear. I have missed you, Eloise." Penelope said, and Eloise rested her head on Penelope's shoulder. 

"Me too, Pen. But you have Colin now. He is the Bridgerton you are marrying." 

"That does not mean I love you any less. You will always be one of the most important people in my life, no matter what." Penelope replied. 

"I am glad to hear that, Pen." Eloise sighed. "Now come, let me go introduce myself to Miss Long Fingers outside and give her a hard time." 

Chapter Text

Penelope saw Hannah a few more times since the tea the past Sunday, and with the wedding two days away, she held onto Colin for dear life, in hopes that it would remind Hannah to know her place and not try to make any sort of advances towards him. Colin had informed her he could sense the shift in dynamics, that Hannah had become more flirtatious. Colin told her how she laughed at all his jokes, even the ones Penelope did not think was the slightest bit funny. In fact, Hannah slapped her knees and let out a hearty laugh, saying how Colin might be the funniest and most charming man alive. Penelope hated it. 

And so, when she made her way to Colin's home after telling her mama she was on her way to the modiste, she was shocked to see that in his drawing room, Hannah was seated, looking slightly dishelved. The sleeve of her dress slightly pushed off her shoulder and as Penelope walked in, she had been wiping her lips with a smirk. 

"Miss Hannah?" Penelope asked, slightly confused, then Hannah expressed a very different look - one of shock and then, she started crying. 

"Lady Debling, please you must believe me, this is not what it looks like. He kissed me!" Hannah fell to her knees and then Colin came into the drawing room, his eyes fixed on a box in his hands. 

"Miss Ellsworth, I found it. Tell you father-" Colin looked up, examining the sight before him. "Penelope, my love." She said, then his eyes landed on Hannah, on her hands and knees. "Pen, what is the meaning of this?" He asked, not in an accusing tone, just merely confused. 

"I am unaware, Colin. You tell me." Penelope folded her arms in his direction. 

"Lord Ellsworth asked me to acquire a gift for your mother, and Simon knows someone who sells excellent antique clocks. Miss Ellsworth informed me she is here to collect it on behalf of her father." Colin said, and Hannah placed her hands on Penelope's knees. 

"He lies! You cannot marry a man who might deceive you." Hannah said, and Colin placed the box on a nearby table. 

"You are mistaken, Miss Ellsworth. I have not told a single lie." Colin defended, but Penelope had heard enough. 

"Miss Hannah tells me you kissed her, and she did not like it." Penelope said, knowing the truth, but she was still curious to see what might occur next. Colin gasped with shock and anger. 

"I will not tolerate you slandering my name and my commitment to my wife!" Colin roared with anger. 

"Of course she will believe you, she believes you love her!" Hannah cried, and Penelope abruptly pulled away from her. 

"You should leave, right this instant." Penelope sternly said. 

"But the wedding is in two days." Hannah cried. 

"You do not need to worry about my wedding, Miss Ellsworth. Now go!" Penelope said, her eyes widened brimming with tears. 

"Do not come near us again. You are a vile woman! I simply cannot believe you choose to lie about something as serious as this! You do not know me one bit, and yet you chose to come in and reck havoc! Your father is a good man, who just so happens to be courting Penelope's mother! Whatever the outcome of their courtship is, I do not wish to see you again for as long as I live!" Colin pointed out as Hannah hurried off. Penelope covered her face, and for some reason, she started crying. Colin immediately came to her aid, pulling her in for a hug but she pushed him away, then wiped her tears away. 

"Pen-"

"I warned you about her, about her attraction towards you, Colin! How could you let her into your house and allow her to say such things?" Penelope yelled. 

"She lies! None of that occured, Penelope!"

"I know that, but you should have listened to me. I told you the moment she laid eyes on you she felt something for you, but you had to be charming and kind and so very lovable!" That was hardly ground for an argument, but the anger coursing through Penelope lead her to say just about anything. 

"Are you truly mad at me for being charming?" Colin asked, his hands on his hips. 

"Yes! Because she loves you! Look how far she was willing to go! For the love of God, Colin, why did you let her in?" Penelope asked. 

"Was I supposed to leave her outside?" Colin asked.

"Yes!" 

"That is absurd! She came here to retrieve a gift for her father." 

"I warned you, Colin. You should have listened to me, and yet you entertained her antics." Penelope said. 

"I did no such thing!"

"Telling her jokes? Giving her a tour of Bridgerton House?" 

"I was being polite!"

"You were being charming! Tell me, did you like that you had another woman after you in such a manner? Is that why you chose to ignore my warnings? I made it very clear that I did not trust her." 

"You told me no such thing!"

"I did not think I had to! I thought you would be sensible and see what she was playing at, clearly I was wrong."

"So you are saying all of this is my fault?" Colin asked, and Penelope went still. She knew it was not, and she had no idea why she had started the argument. One thing Penelope knew she was, she was irrational when angry. She wrote about Colin in Whistledown out of anger. She did plenty of things she was not proud of with rage coursing through her veins. 

"So this is my fault then? It is my fault Miss Ellsworth has developed feelings towards me? Is that what it is?" Colin asked her, and she still remained still. Her mind began to unravel with all the likely scenarios she might find herself in being married to a man as handsome as Colin. Suddenly, she felt like that insecure teenager again, unworthy and too unattractive for him. 

"What if we went oversees on our honeymoon and some woman finds you attractive, and they do more than just lie about a kiss? What if she seduces you?" Penelope asked. 

"Are you listening to yourself, Penelope? In what world will that ever be our reality?" Colin asked with anger. 

"You are a very handsome man, Colin. Someday you might wake up and realise that you could have any woman you wanted, and you settled for me. I have had my heart broken by you thrice already, I am not willing to go through a fourth." Penelope shook her head. 

"What are you saying?" Colin asked, confusion plastered all over his face. 

"You courting Marina. She was extremely beautiful. You fell in love her. That broke my heart. You said you would never court me. Not in your wildest fantasies. That broke my heart. You said you could not accept Whistledown. That broke my heart." Penelope said. 

"Why are you bringing up my faults from the past? None of that matters! I did not marry Lady Crane, I was a fool for saying I would never court you, and my envy got the better of me with Whistledown!" 

"And yet I am the one who got hurt in all those instances, and now, I am overcome with the desire to kiss you and tell you I love you and all will be okay, but you possibly waking up and seeing the exotic women in Paris or Greece will break my heart, I can feel it." Penelope said, a tear rolling down her cheek. "You are charming, and handsome and you have a string of women who have fallen in love with you. I cannot compete." Penelope wiped the tears that fell away. 

"This argument is ridiculous! Penelope, it is you I am utterly and completely in love with! No woman anywhere across the world can make me change what I feel for you." He stepped closer to her, but she backed away.

"It is your fault. You are too kind and too charming. Women love you. You could have any one of them. They are all beautiful." Her insecurities were layed out, raw and exposed. "I did not have this issue with Alfred. No, he was different. He did not speak to other women apart from Eloise. My insecurities were gone, but with you..."

"Are you seriously comparing me to your late husband?" 

"I... I must leave. I need to think." Penelope said, but as she tried to rush pass him, he grabbed her wrist. 

"Pen-"

"Colin, I wish to leave. Let me go." Penelope said, refusing to look at him. 

"No,"

"Colin, please-" she breathed out and as his fingers traced her cheek, she grew breathless. Her body less tensed and weak. His hand moved from her wrist to hold her up by her lower back, forcing her to look up at him. 

"You do not need to leave and think about anything. I love you more than life itself. You need not to ever worry about my commitment to you. I am yours, mind, body and soul. Completely yours." He grabbed her chin. "And I know you loved him, but do not ever compare me to your late husband. It is not fair." He pulled her closer to him, and when his lips lowered on hers, she did not hesitate or pull back. In fact, she welcomed him, all of him. If he was looking for a manner to shut her, he found one that would work effectively, indeed, but as the passionate kiss progressed, her moans of satisfaction filling the room, she was reminded of what brought about their quarrel. 

His charm. 

Using all her force, she pushed him away from her, and he stumbled back, hurt and confused. 

"You are a very handsome man, extremely charming as well. You could have any woman you so desire. I am a widow, I write gossip for a living. And you, your charm could fool just about anyone into thinking they stand a chance with you. You broke my heart multiple times already." 

"Enough of that, Penelope! What do you continue to say such things? I love you!" Colin basically yelled. 

"I love you too, and so does half of the women in this ton, including Hannah." Penelope rushed out of the room and she was glad he did not follow her. She went back home and upon arrival, her mama stood with her arms crossed.

"How was your visit with Mr Bridgerton?" 

"Not now, mama!"

"Penelope, your eyes are as red as your hair. Have to been crying?" Penelope paused in front of her mother, then leaned against her shoulder and started sobbing on her mother's shoulder. Portia held her tight, whispering what had happened, but the tears fell like rain.

_

"Penelope?" Colin cried out in the empty halls of Bridgerton House. He searched for her at the modiste, Featherington Estate, and he even took a turn about the town library but she was nowhere to be found. Rae had told him as he checked her house that she had a left a while ago with her mother. 

"Colin, Penelope is not here." He heard his mother as he entered the drawing room, seeing his mother and Kate sitting contently on the sofa with some tea and snacks.

"Have either of you seen her today?" He asked, and Violet quickly rose to her feet after she noticed his distress. 

"Colin, you are clearly distressed. What happened? Why are you frantically searching for Penelope?" Violet asked.

"We had an argument, a massive one. She said she needed time to think, but I do not want to give her the space to think. What if she calls off the wedding?" Colin asked, and Kate led him to the sofa they sat on.

"What happened?" Kate asked.

"Miss Ellsworth happened, and now Penelope is doubting my love for her." Colin confessed, and he noticed a few lingering looks between Kate and his mother.

"Colin, did you and Miss Ellsworth-" Colin quickly stopped his mother from finishing her sentence.

"Of course not, mother." 

"But she thinks something happened?" Kate asked.

"She knows nothing happened." Colin sighed, and then proceeded to tell them about the argument, from the moment he saw Hannah on her knees before Penelope, to the moment Penelope rushed off. For obvious reasons, he omitted the kiss they shared. 

"You broke her heart three times?" Kate asked. 

"That is what you took away from our argument?" 

"Kate is asking the right question." Violet asked. 

"And you know all the instances." Colin replied. 

"I still cannot believe she said you would never dream of courting Penelope. That was a rather insane thing to utter." Colin said, and he winced as he remembered that night, and the hurt and betrayal in Penelope's eyes when she confronted him the following season. 

"Not my finest hour, I will admit." 

"You have to see this from her point. She is being cautious with her heart. This incident with Miss Ellsworth has only opened the door to her insecurities as she mentioned, but I will admit, comparing you to Lord Debling was a tad bit unfair." Violet added.

"When she said that, she really hurt me. Of course, I did not mention this to her, but I was overall just... confused. Our argument made no sense to me. I did not kiss Miss Ellsworth, Penelope knows this, and then she brings up scenarios that will never happen? This is all too confusing for me." Colin stated. 

"And to compare you with Lord Debling? Perhaps there is an underlying issue at play." Kate suggested. 

"And we must get to the bottom of this. We will be married in two days." Colin said, then slowly for off the sofa and straightened his posture. He took a peak outside, noting that the weather was about to take a drastic change. They would expect rain by nightfall. 

"Then you must go speak to her. Did you check where the Ellsworths' are residing? Perhaps Portia took Penelope there." Violet asked, and Colin shook his head. 

"I do not even know where they reside." Colin replied. 

"To be truthful, I do not either." Violet answer, and Colin sighed. 

"Perhaps I could pay Penelope a visit tonight. It seems the rain is about to start pouring at any moment now." Colin said. He greeted his mother and sister, and headed home. 

_

As Penelope stood in the centre of the drawing room where the Ellsworths' resided for the social season, she was met with pitiful stares and whispers by the siblings, and Hannah was simply nowhere to be found. 

"My daughter informed me of what occured. I assume you are here to speak to her?" Lord Ellsworth asked, but she had no courage to correct him, that his daughter was a liar, and so she just nodded her head. "I take it you wish to speak to her in private?" 

"Yes, if that is alright." Penelope said, and Lord Ellsworth asked one of the servants to lead Penelope to Hannah's room. 

When she entered the room, Hannah's ladymaid was in the process of packing a bag and Hannah sat on her bed with her knees to her chest. 

"Lady Debling!" Hannah quickly said as he legs straightened. 

"Please, just call me Penelope." Penelope said, and Hannah excused her ladymaid for the time being. 

"There is something I must confess." Hannah said, and Penelope took a seat by the foot of the bed. 

"I am listening, Miss Ellsworth." Penelope said. 

"If I get to call you Penelope, then you must call me Hannah. I insist."

"Alright then, Hannah. What is it that you wish to confess?" Penelope asked. 

"I have done something so shameful, even my father cannot look at me. He has sent me back home to Gloucestershire." Hannah said, and while Hannah looked remorseful, Penelope could not forget the little show she put on that morning. 

"Whatever for?" 

"For lying. I told papa Mr Bridgerton kissed me, but he saw right through me. He said I have been getting away with too much since mama passed, and to meddle in affairs that does not concern me is where he draws the line, since the woman who's husband I fell for just so happens to be the daughter of the woman he has grown to love." Hannah said, barely looking at Penelope. 

"He loves my mother?" Penelope asked. 

"As I am sure you are aware, my parents were a practical match and he did not love my mother. They considered their marriage a partnership, and they became close friends, but he loves your mother the way he was supposed to love mine." Hannah confessed. 

"What were you really hoping to achieve with your lie?" Penelope asked. 

"I have been told my entire life that I would not have any issues on the marriage mart, then gentlemen would line up to ask for my hand, but it was never really about marrying just anyone. I wanted a man who is kind, caring and compassionate. Mr Bridgerton is all that and so much more, so I wanted him. I fell for him, and I hoped he would consider me as his wife instead of you." Penelope took deep breaths to keep her anger from unleashing. 

"Colin is all that you say he is, but above all else, he is faithful." Instantly, Penelope regretted the argument and the silly scenarios she invented because of her insecurities. "I knew the moment you told me he kissed you that you were lying." 

"So, do you hate me?" Hannah asked. 

"A little bit, yes. You tried to steal my husband from me, and I love that man so much, just the thought of him marrying another kills me inside." After all these years, Penelope finally understood how Colin felt as she married Lord Debling. It took Hannah's sly ways to make her realise just the amount of pain she had put him through. 

"And since my father most definitely plans to marry your mother, I suppose I might just have to avoid you both for the rest of my life." Hannah said. 

"I may hate you now, but I will not hate you forever. You have also broken my trust, and I do not think it will be easy for me to trust you again." Penelope said as Hannah shook her head. 

"So do we take turns visiting the family during Christmas? You take one year and I take the next?" Hannah shrugged. 

"That will not be necessary, Hannah. We can still coexist in the same family." Penelope said, but Hannah shook her head. 

"If Mr Bridgerton is there, I do not think we could. What I feel for him is strong." Hannah said. Penelope leaned back with a deep, heavy sigh. 

"Hannah, you will find someone to love. Unfortunately for you, that person is not Colin Bridgerton." Penelope did not know what else to say to her, but she knew she could never look at Hannah the same, even if her father married Penelope's mother. 

"I know, I know. It is just... difficult. I never thought I would be a victim of unrequited love." Hannah replied. 

"Your love for Colin is forbidden anyway. It was never going to work out for you, and I mean that in the most respectable sense. The sooner you realise that, the quicker you can move on."

"I wish it were that simple. I will think about him when I am home and it will hurt." Penelope felt no remorse for Hannah, for now she was playing the victim, and Penelope did not like it one bit. 

"And when you think of my husband, I hope you try to remember that time you tried to sabotage his relationship with his wife two days before the wedding with vile lies and deceitful way!" Penelope said as she stood up. 

"There is no need to be mean!"

"Not when you sit there and try and gain some sympathy from me. You are at fault, and maybe you are correct. If our parents do end up marrying one another, I would not oppose the idea of us not seeing each other at holidays. And since the wedding will still be happening, I will gift you the honour of having Christmas this year. Colin and I will take the next." 

"Penelope, this is hard for me! Matters of the heart are delicate and fragile. I cannot help the way I feel." Hannah said. 

"Maybe that is true, but you were certainly in charge of your own actions in the middle of Colin's drawing room. I genuinely liked you when I met you. Now, I wish to utter the same words Colin told you as you departed this moring: Do not come near us again. Colin Bridgerton is mine, and I have no intention of ever sharing him, unless we are blessed with daughters. That is the only exception." Penelope said, then left Hannah to wallow in her own self-pity. That certainly felt good to say out loud. Now all she had to do was run off to Colin and confess to him what an utter fool she had been. 

_

"You once said you would burn the world for your children. Just far are you willing to go?" Portia asked as she stood face-to-face with Henry Ellsworth in his study. 

"As far as need be, if that means my children are happy." He replied, and from what Portia could tell, he meant it. 

"That is a trait I so deeply admire about you, but when your children are in the wrong, what will you do?" She patiently awaited his answer and after what felt like hours, he answered her. 

"If they are wrong, there must be consequences. With Hannah, I have sent her back home. What she has done is cruel." 

"Is that her consequence?" Portia asked, thinking Hannah's punishment was but a slap on the wrist.

"I spoke to her, and she deeply regrets her actions." Henry sighed, but Portia shook her head. 

"That is the thing. She may deeply regret her actions now, but what is to stop her from doing that again?" 

"She will not, I know my daughter. She will learn from this lesson."

"And I do not think it is harsh enough!" Portia exclaimed. 

"You are in no position to tell me how to discipline my children." Henry answered, just as passionately. 

"That, I am aware of, and that is why I am thinking of my own daughter and the state I found her in. She cannot endure any more pain. She is resilient, but as her mother, I must ensure she does not need to be resilient. I must ensure her path is clear to happiness." Portia could not believe she was about to do it, but she was doing it for Penelope. She thought about it on the way over, but to be actually doing it hurt her in more ways than she could have imagined. 

"Portia, what are you suggesting?"

"That we end this courtship." She quickly said, in hopes of ripping the bandaid off. 

"No, please-"

"It cannot continue. Above all else, I am a mother. I cannot let my own happiness come in the way of my childrens' happiness." 

"Penelope and Hannah are talking to one another this very moment. Perhaps we could see what the outcome of their talk is before we make such rash decisions." 

"Penelope is kind, she will tolerate your daughter for my sake. I do not want her to make any sort of sacrifices on my behalf." Portia replied. 

"What if I told you I am in love with you?" Portia looked up at him after briefly looking at the floor. 

"You- what?" Portia said, her mind feeling as though it was fried. 

Did he truly say what I think he said???

"Portia, I love you. I am in love with you." Henry said, taking a step in her direction. "This old man loves you, and wishes to spend the rest of his life with you." 

"But Hannah and Penelope-"

"I love my children dearly and I would do anything to protect them. My children have always been my purpose in life, but being in love with a woman as great as you is my new found purpose in life. They are all grown and can take care of themselves. They do not need me to protect them." Henry said. 

"You love me?" Portia asked, still unable to process that she was loved by him. 

"Yes! My intentions were to propose after your daughter's wedding. Please, let our children handle their own issues. Why should we have to suffer?" Henry asked, and he made a point, but Portia's commitments lied with her children and grandchildren above all else. 

"Henry, I love you too. But my children come first, always." Portia said. 

"Does this mean you truly wish to end our courtship?" Henry asked, and Portia nodded her head.

"For my children and their happiness, we must end this courtship."

Chapter Text

The rain that evening brought somewhat serenity to Colin's heart, knowing that the rain would calm Penelope down in more ways than one. His Pen loved the rain. The idea of curling up with a book, the smell in the air, the nourishment it provided the earth... Penelope could write a book on how much she loved the rain, and just thinking about that made Colin smile. He knew she was home looking out her window listening to the patters the raindrops made against the windowpane, or even putting her hand out of the window to feel the water against her warm skin. He wondered how it would feel to dance with her in the rain, to kiss her, to hold her. He would soon fulfil that wonder, once all well between them. As long as Penelope was safe in her bedchambers, he felt peace as well. 

Or so he thought...

As he settled into the evening, his eyes slowly moving pass the letters on the book he found himself unable to stray away from, he heard little patters against his window, but given the direction of the rain, it simply could not have been raindrops, and the sound it made, it had to have been something harder. Like a stone. Thrown at a decent rate so the window would not shatter. He quickly ignored it, and noticed the candle was flaming out. He would soon need to relight a candle to continue his reading. 

As he pushed back his chair, the thud was heard once more, and he was far too intrigued to let it slide once more. He made his way to the window and to his surprise, he saw a figure through the blurred window. It was too tall to be Penelope, but it matched her figure. With a deep sigh, he opened the window and saw just the person he expected it not to be. 

"Pen!" He exclaimed as she rain hit his face. He ran his fingers through his hair with the cold air making want to close the window instantly. Then he realised just how cold Penelope must be getting. 

"Are you a mad woman? Come inside!" He exclaimed, and then he noticed she was standing on a step stool. One she probably brought with her from home. 

"I have read about scenarios such as these in my romance novels, declarations of love in the rain." Penelope screamed, and Colin noticed she was well preped. Her coat covered her shoulders and her hair, but the bottom of her dress was drenched. 

"Penelope, come inside!" Colin yelled. 

"I cannot, not just yet." She answered, and he was getting frustrated. What if she caught a cold just a few days before their wedding? Or worse, she could get seriously ill? The feeling did not bode well with him. 

"Are you insane for this. You will become ill, and days before our wedding?. Pen-"

"Colin will you let me speak? I came here with the intention to apologize, so will you let me?" Penelope said. 

"Fine, but if you refuse to come inside, I am coming to you. Do not move." He quickly slammed the window close, found a coat nearby and rushed outside. 

_

"What is this?" Colin asked as he approached. "You brought a step stool?" 

"So that you would not have to look down at me. I know it just hurt your neck terribly." Penelope replied, then as he stood before her, the rain washing them both, she took a deep breath. 

"You are a wonderful man." She said, tilting her head slightly. Despite the step stool, he still was a lot taller than her. Either she was freakishly short, or he was freakishly tall. "You did not deserve my outburst. If anything, you are but a patient man. I have put you through so much, and yet it is still me you wish to marry. I let my insecurities get the better of me, and that is something I never wish to do again. I should have been the one at the end of an outburst." 

"I would never-"

"And that is what I mean! You are perfect, Colin Bridgerton. You are good to me, too good. You loved me, even when I married another, you loved me still. Even when I rejected your proposals, you loved me still. You told me you would wait until I was ready to marry again, and I rewarded your patience and kindness by not even letting you know I was ready to marry again. Lord knows what would have happened if you had not come to my mother's house to talk some sense into me. I have been cruel and hurtful towards you, and yet, here we are, engaged to be married in two days." 

"I am not perfect, Penelope. I have my faults." 

"Then you are the imperfectly perfect man of my heart, even when I believe I do not deserve you." Penelope confessed. 

"You should not put me on such a high pedestal." 

"Oh, but I should. You are honourable and caring, and I have all but stepped on your heart. I had no right to say you broke mine multiple times as if I had not done the same to you. We have both done things we are not proud of, but that is what makes us good for each other. We have grown as individuals and we have accepted each other. Flaws and all. I did not mean to hurt you with my spiteful words. In what world would you ever betray me? It is laughable to me now, because I know you, Colin. I know you would love me even if I were to commit the most heinous crime known to man." Penelope said with a tiny smile. 

"That is true, and I would stand by your decision proudly." Colin smiled in return. 

"See, you are perfect." He grabbed both her hands. "You are far too good to me, Colin."

"We are good for each other. You said it yourself." 

"I cannot risk losing you over something that did not even happen. Miss Ellsworth, she is a speck of dust in the past now. We never have to think of her again, and I will never bring up the exotic women in other countries. That was unfair of me to even mention." Penelope said. 

"There is something else I wish to tell you." Colin said, and she noticed him tense up slightly. "You said you never had such issues with Lord Debling." Penelope closed her eyes, cursing herself for even comparing them. 

"That was-" she sighed. "That was uncalled for. And unnecessary. My mama even called me out for that, saying I might have hurt you with those words." Penelope replied. 

"You did, Penelope. I did not think it was fair." 

"I know, it was not fair of me to make that comparison. I do hope you will forgive me for that. I would understand if you did not." 

"Penelope-"

"But you see, Lord Debling did not know many people in Mayfair. He only spoke to your family and mine, nobody else. To make such a comparison, to say that I never had such issues with him, was cruel. You know I loved him, and he was my husband, but you are my future. I cannot see myself living this life without you by my side. It is you I cannot live without; it is you I cannot sacrifice. You will always be the greatest love I have ever felt. Nobody can take that away from me or you." Penelope said, and she reached up to cup his cheeks. His face had grown rather cold because of the rain, and as she looked at him, the pain in his eyes caused a lump in her throat. She never wanted to cause him that much pain. 

"You are my greatest love. Nothing exceeds you." Colin replied. 

"And I will never bring up anything from the past, our past mistakes, specifically. That is a vow I am making to you right now, in the rain, with you. We have vows we will make to each other in the church we will be married in, but the vows I make now are ones I intent to keep for the rest of my life. Of course, our wedding vows I intent to keep and honour as well." Colin slinged his arms around her body, holding her closer to his chest. 

"I love you." Colin said as he pressed his forehead against hers. 

"And I love you. I cannot wait for what the future has in store for us. It will an adventure, that I know for certain, but there is noone else I would rather do any of this with." Penelope said, then leaned her lips closer to his before pressing them together. 

They kissed in the rain for what felt like glorious hours, and it was remarkable. 

"I have something else I wish to tell you." Penelope said as they parted from their kiss. 

"Is it worth mentioning after you just kissed me like that?" Penelope giggled. 

"It is about our honeymoon." 

"The arrangements will be made, my love. I will sort it it tomorrow, first thing in the morning."

"But I must tell you something. I have been keeping something from you. As a gift to you, I have already paid for our trip to Greece." Penelope said. 

"Now why would you go and do that?" Colin asked.

"Because, I cannot expect you to pay for everything. Visiting Greece, Italy and Spain must be taxing. I have money I have made from Whistledown and my inheritance. I wanted to do something for us with it." Colin pulled her against his chest once more. 

"You do not have to worry about using a cent of your money. I am to be providing for you." Colin said, pushing a strand of wet hair out of her face. 

"But you are my husband. I wish to spoil you as well."

"That is my job, Pen." 

"But I am telling you, you never have to bare that burden alone." Penelope sweetly said. 

"It is no burden. I am a Bridgerton." 

"And I am Lady Whistledown. What is the point you are trying to make here?" Penelope asked. 

"Alright fine, but I will be paying for Italy and Spain. I will not take no for an answer." She smiled. As they planned, they wanted to visit Greece together. Penelope was satisfied with just seeing the beauty of Greece, but Colin insisted they had to continue their honeymoon to the beauty of Italy and Spain. She did not protest one bit. In fact, she was thrilled. All she had ever seen was England, and after her wedding she would see three more countries. 

"I am glad you said that, because the rest of that money must be put towards our children. All eight of them." Penelope joked. 

"What happened to four?" Colin asked. 

"That was a joke. I still am not doing pregnancy eight times. Your mother is a saint!" Penelope replied. 

"Enough talking, just kiss me already." And she happily obliged. The chances of them being sick the next day might be high, but it was definitely worth it, in Penelope's mind. Kissing Colin Bridgerton in the rain after her declaration? She could not think of a more romantic setting. 

"Did you walk here?" Colin asked as their lips parted. Their hands still aimlessly roaming each other's bodies. 

"I did, but it was only a few minute's walk." Penelope confessed. 

"I truly am marrying a mad woman!" Colin said, and she laughed. 

"Did you expect me to have a carriage waiting for me? It is raining, Colin." 

"Well then you must allow me to walk you home." Colin said as she stepped off the stool. He kneeled to pick it up. 

"If you are walking me me, I insist you must come inside and warm up before you leave. The rain will stop eventually." Penelope suggested. "Oh, you could stay the night." Penelope eyes narrowed as she teased. 

"What will your mother think of that?" Colin asked as the begin their walk back to her house. 

"Oh, she is fast asleep. The cook made all her favourites, per my request, and she retired early. She ended her courtship with Lord Ellsworth." Penelope told him. 

"That is rather unfortunate. I liked him very much." Colin said. They had not even noticed the way their hands swung as it clasped together, strolling about in the rain. 

"I did too, but she was very set on it. She is heartbroken, of course. I do not know what to do." Penelope sighed. 

"Allow her the space to recover as she wishes. I think that is what's best." Colin suggested. 

"And I want nothing more than for her to recover, but just how much space?" Penelope asked. 

"Let her come to you." 

"That is wise, when she is ready, I will be there." Penelope said. 

"So, what do you have planned for our night together?" Colin asked. 

"We will not be doing anything other than kiss. I want the next time we lay together to be after we are married. So, I will ask Rae to draw you a nice bath, and I will have one as well, we can sit in front of the fireplace and just cuddle. Talk about anything and everything that comes across our minds." Penelope suggested, and when she looked up at him, he smiled. 

"That sounds perfect, Pen." She smiled as well. 

"Of course, we will have to inform Rae you will be spending the night, so she will have to wake us both before my mama wakes." 

"Naturally, I agree. Now come, we must hurry along then!" 

Chapter Text

POLIN WEDDING DAY

With the sound of the birds chirping and the weather clearing up nicely, the sun had made a tiny appearance that morning, the morning of the wedding. Penelope sat by her window, listening to the early morning chatter between people on the street, wondering if they knew how special the day would be. They would soon know. That was part of the reason she sat by the window. 

I am getting married today!!!

Although she said so in her head, she wanted to scream those words at the top of her lungs. She smiled brightly as she noticed the paperboys making their rounds. 

"Get your Whistledown!" He heard a boy scream, and as she noticed the copies being purchased and her audience read in anticipation, she heard the door to the drawing room push open, and in came Rae. 

"Good morning, Penelope!" Rae said, enthusiastically. Penelope turned away from the window and smiled at her housekeeper. 

"Good morning, Rae." Penelope smiled. 

"Watching the ton make you rich again?" Rae asked, and Penelope took a quick peak and saw people were still purchasing copies. 

"It is a new found favourite hobbies of mine, so yes. I am watching them make me rich." Penelope said. 

"How very humble of you," Rae teased as Penelope stood up. 

"I certainly hope you have prepared the staff to function without you today." Penelope asked as Rae placed tea on the table. 

"Oh, they are prepared, alright." Rae said, and they both sat next to one another to enjoy a cup of tea. 

"I am glad to hear that. I hoped my mama would join us for tea, but she has been sequestered in her room since her courtship ended." Penelope said as Rae poured them both full, hot cups. 

"Still?" Rae asked. 

"Yes, and I am afraid she will not recover. We barely spoke since it ended." Penelope confessed. 

"Just give her some time, Penelope. From what I could tell, she loves him." Rae told her. 

"Do you think she must blame me in some sense for her courtship ending?" Penelope asked. In truth, that question had been lingering at the back of her mind since Hannah's lies. "From what I can tell, she ended her courtship for me, so that Colin and I would not run into Miss Ellsworth again, or she would not be tempted to lie again." Penelope sighed as she picked up her cup. 

"You did not tell your mother to end her courtship. She made that decision on her own. You must not think so, especially on your wedding day." Rae said, but she still felt a sense of guilt. 

"I suppose you are right, but my mama will be walking me down the aisle. I would like for her to be happy." 

"I am happy, Penelope. For you." They both looked at the door, seeing Portia with a copy of Whistledown in her hand. "I am so happy for you, my dear. You must not blame yourself for a decision I made. Rae is correct." 

"But you love him. Perhaps if I could just talk to-" 

"Penelope, no. I have made peace with my decision. Please, let it be." Portia said, and Penelope nodded her head. 

"Alright, mama." She said, defeated. Penelope still felt a pang of guilt, but she decided to brush it aside. Portia took her seat at the table. 

"I take it you have found a dress, Rae?" Portia asked, and Rae nodded her head. 

"Sophie was kind enough to pull something together last minute. I begged her not to, but she insisted. She said it would distract her for a while." Rae said. 

"I have seen the dress, mama. Rae is going to look absolutely beautiful!" Penelope said, and Rae looked at her lap shyly. 

"Oh, thank you." 

"Did Madame Delacroix deliver your wedding dress yet?" Portia asked, and Penelope shook her head. 

"She has not yet, but she will be here any minute now." Penelope replied, then Portia lifted the issue up. 

"I read Whistledown this morning." Portia said. 

"Oh, have you written about your wedding in today's issue?" Rae asked, and Portia looked stunned. 

"You know?" Portia asked. 

"Mama, Rae was my lady maid before she became my housekeeper. Of course she knows." Penelope replied with a playful eyeroll. 

"That is intriguing. So many people know, and yet your identity has not been revealed yet." Portia said. 

"That is because the people who know, I trust them implicitly." Penelope replied. 

"When do you plan on telling the rest of the Bridgertons? I mean the Duke and Duchess? The Dowager Countess? Little Gregory and Hyacinth?" Portia asked. 

"I do not think Gregory and Hyacinth would like it if they were referred to as little, mama. And I have not really thought about that. I know Hyacinth would be thrilled, she even said she would continue writing if Lady Whistledown ever decided to retire." Penelope smiled, thinking of that day she had tea and Hyacinth asked to join. 

"She is a very inquisitive young lady." Portia added. 

"That, she is. I think I would like to tell her first, before I tell the rest of them." Penelope said, "but after the honeymoon."

"Speaking of your honeymoon, are you all packed?" Portia asked. 

"We leave in a week, mama. We will pack closer to the time." Penelope said. 

"I cannot believe you will be gone for six months!" Portia said, biting her lip. Her mother often did that when she tried to prevent herself from crying. 

"I will write to you everyday, mama. And I will come back home bearing plenty of gifts for you." Penelope smiled. 

"You better write to me, dear." They enjoyed their tea for a little while longer until Genevieve arrived with the wedding dress. Portia cried, Penelope cried, then they made their way to the church. 

___

Over at Bridgerton House, the complete opposite of Penelope, who started her day as calm and serene as possible, Colin was a nervous wreck. His entire family was there and all his nieces and nephews. 

"Colin, will you stop pacing?" Daphne asked as she entered his childhood room. 

"How can I stop? I am getting married today!" Colin said, his pace continued. 

"Should it not be the happiest day of your life, dear brother?" Daphne asked as she shut the door behind her. 

"Do not get me wrong sister, it is. I just want everything to be perfect for Pen. Everything is sorted for the wedding breakfast downstairs, right?" Colin asked. 

"Everything is perfect, brother. Now come, let me help you with your cravat." Daphne said as she swiftly made her way across the floor. He stopped his pacing as his sister helped him. 

"There. You look very handsome." Daphne said as she patted his shoulders. 

"Thank you, Daphne." 

"You are very welcome, Colin." Daphne smiled. "Now come, before mama comes in here and starts crying." They shared a quick laugh before making their way downstairs. The loudness of his family brought a sense of peace to him. Everything was alright. 

"There he is!" He heard Benedict's booming voice through the room. 

"You look quite handsome, Colin." Kate said, her arms linked in Anthony's. 

"Thank you." Colin smiled. 

"Are you nervous?" Gregory asked. 

"Extremely, but I know all will be well once I see Pen. I have not see her all day yesterday." Colin said. 

"And that must have been so hard for you, right brother?" Anthony teased, and his family laughed. 

"Children, do not tease your brother, especially on his wedding day." Violet said and they quickly stopped. 

"I did not think we would live to see the day Colin marries." Hyacinth remarked. 

"Especially to someone we have known our whole lives." Francesca added. 

"And my best friend, you all forgot to mention." Eloise said. 

"Yes, yes. Get all your witty remarks out now. I promise you will all miss me while I am away." Colin folded his arms against his chest. 

"Correction, we will miss Penelope." Hyacinth said, and his family all agreed. He was somewhat insulted, but at the same time, it was very endearing to see how much his family cared for Penelope, and to know they would miss her the most while they were away. 

"Come, family. We have a wedding to attend. I believe the carriages are outside." Simon said, and then he ushered them to the entrance. Violet linked her arms with Colin. 

"Mother?" Colin asked as they walked behind the rowdy bunch. 

"Yes, Colin." She sweetly asked. 

"No tears today, okay?" He said, but she shook her head. 

"I cannot make such a promise, dear." 

"But you must. It is a joyous day. I am marrying Penelope." Colin said with a sense of pride. 

"It certainly is a day I have been waiting for, for a very long time." Violet said. 

"You must forgive me for making you wait then." 

"Only if you promise to always protect her, and look after her for as long as you both shall live." Violet said. 

"I will, mother. You do not have to worry about that."

There was something so magical about an intimate wedding. Minimal guests, only loved ones present. Colin and Penelope both adored this factor as they exchange wedding vows before their family and friends. It gave them the freedom to be themselves.

The moment they said "With this ring, I thee wed," Colin began tingling with love for his Pen once more. Those simply words, and it made him giddy like a young boy with a crush. For Penelope, she was simply trying her best not to start giggling, like a young girl with a crush. She could not believe their moment at the alter had finally arrived. She blushed redder than her hair, which Colin found utterly adorable, and he was right. The moment he saw Penelope walk down the aisle in her wedding dress, his world stopped, but it felt so right. The beauty, the elegance and the grace in which she walked made him want to freeze the moment forever. 

For Penelope, seeing Colin wait for her up front, she could not help but smile brightly. The sun barely peaked, but she brought the light with her. She hardly acknowledged the guests in attendance being their family and close friends only. All she knew was the man she loved was waiting for them to be married, and he mattered most to her. 

By the time they were declared man and wife, their family rose to their feet and cheered, but Colin and Penelope? They savored that moment - the moment they, and so many others had been waiting for. 

They could now declare with great certainty, that their favourite kiss would always and forever be the one they shared on their wedding day, surrounded by the people they loved. 

"I have been trying for ages to get you alone." Penelope said to her husband after he had ended his conversation with one of the many guests in attendance. 

"You have been busy yourself, dear wife." Colin said, his hands on his hips. 

"Oh, that sounded so perfect coming from your lips. Call me your wife again." Penelope said, her eyes darkening with lust. Colin leaned in closer, his breath tingling her ear. 

"You are my wife." He whispered, and she held his hand. His placed a chaste kiss against her earlobe. 

"Kids, behave!" Benedict said as she walked pass the two of them, and they quickly moved away from each other to look decent. Their hands still held together. 

"Can I have the next dance, please?" Penelope said, and Colin looked confused. 

"It is the light of day, Penelope. And this is a wedding breakfast." 

"Yes, I am aware. But I would like to dance with my husband at OUR wedding breakfast. In the centre." Penelope said, then Colin led them to the centre, as per her request. They started an impromptu dance, not shying away from their closeness. It was their wedding after all. They gazed lovingly into each other's eyes, following their dance pattern with precision. Their guest all admired their bravery, as dancing at a wedding breakfast was certainly uncommon. Seemingly, their dance had inspired more lovers to join them. Anthony and Kate, Benedict and Sophie, Prudence and Harry, Violet and Lord Anderson, and some others in attendance. 

"Look at us, starting a trend." Colin whispered to his bride. 

"What will Whistledown say about that?" She asked as his fingers traced her cheek. 

"She should write how the newlyweds simply had to parade their love around by dancing." Colin whispered. 

"And she will write that, word for word." Penelope smiled. 

"Have you thought about what might happen once we leave? People will notice Whistledown's absence in the middle of the social season." Colin asked her. 

"I do not care about what people might think. Tomorrow's issue will be my last for the season. I have already written up a draft." Penelope informed him. 

"Will you continue to write once we have children?" Colin asked. 

"I am not certain. What do you think, husband?" Penelope asked.

"I think you should do as your heart desires. Write if you wish, or not." Colin replied. 

"We will cross that bridge once we get there." 

"Okay, but I do not think you should stop. You have a gift, one you must share with the world." She smiled. 

"You are too sweet, Colin. I love you so, very much." Overcome with love, Colin leaned in and placed a quick kiss on her lips. 

"I love you, Penelope Bridgerton." 

****

Later that day, they rushed home together. Since Penelope's estate was larger, they ultimately decided to stay at Colin's house for the week. Much to their liking, they had not left the house in a week. They were too pleased in their little bubble. They refused callers (which was just Eloise but they were too busy to see her), hardly dressed for the day, and simply took all their meals in their bedchamber. It was complete and utter bliss, all while knowing they would get to spend months away in beautiful countries tied up in each other's embrace. It was the perfect little bubble for them, and they had no intention is popping it anytime soon, or ever.

Chapter Text

SEVEN MONTHS LATER:

While sitting in the back of the carriage, Colin and Penelope's carriage pulled through Mayfair on their way to Bridgerton House first. They were giddy with excitement, eager to see their family. While they were away, Sophie had given birth to a baby boy, Charles Bridgerton. Kate had announced her second pregnancy, and Eloise had taken up a new hobby. She had become infatuated with nature. Penelope thought it to be odd at first, but she assumed since she was away, Eloise found a new way to occupy herself. 

"Does it bother you so much that they missed me more than you?" Penelope asked, noticing a small frown on Colin's face. 

"Certainly not, love. I love that they missed you. It is just-" he sighed as he took her hands in his. "I am worried. What if you hate my surprise?" Colin said, and she smiled at him. 

"I will not hate it, my love. I am certain everything will be perfect. It is from you, so it will be." She replied, and he kissed her hand. 

"Then I must prepare you. The surprise is coming soon." Colin said. 

"Coming soon? Did you have something delivered to Bridgerton House?" Penelope asked. 

"We are not going to Bridgerton House." Penelope looked at him confused. 

"But if we were going home, we could have taken a different, much quicker route." Penelope replied. 

"The surprise is in the same street as Bridgerton House, and the Featherington Estate." He winked at her, and she started brainstorming. The only one she could think of was a house. 

"In the same street as the houses we grew up in?" Penelope asked. "Did you have the road renamed or something?" She joked. 

"Why? Is that something you want? Because I will make it happen." She caressed his cheek as she laughed. 

"No, my love. We simply cannot just change a street name as we please." 

"Okay, but if you wish to have the name of the street in which we will live changed to something else, you just let me know." Penelope eyes widened with shock. 

"You bought a house?" She asked, her jaw dropped. Colin proudly nodded his head. 

"Yes! It is just two houses away from Featherington Estate. It is a walking distance, so Eloise can bother us all the time now." Colin said, and as much as he hated the fact that Eloise could simply come over at a whim without even summoning a carriage, he wanted them to raise their little family close to their family. He wanted their children to play with their little cousins, who would not be too far away. 

Slowly, Penelope felt her eyes water. She had no idea why, but the thought of having a house so close to the Featherington's and Bridgerton's warmed her heart. Before she knew it, her eyes were fully loaded with tears and Colin shifted closer to her to hold her.

"It is okay, my love. If you hate it, we do not have to live there." Colin said as he rubbed her back. 

"No, no. That is not it. It's just-" she sniffled. "That is the sweetest thing you have ever done. It is so simple, but it is sweet. I love it, and I love you." She said as she laid her head on his shoulder. 

"I am so glad you love it, it is Lord Gendry's estate. He chose to move to Ireland to be closer to his family. I got wind of this a few weeks before our wedding and Anthony helped me attain the property." Colin said. 

"That is a rather large estate. We will need the staff from your house and mine to manage it." Penelope said.

"Which is exactly what I told Anthony, and it has been sorted. They have been setting up house for the last few months. Rae has been organising things how she thinks you might like it." Colin informed her.

"That is so kind of her." Penelope said as she wiped her tears away. "Do you know how much I admire Rae?" 

"So much, I am aware. She will make an excellent housekeeper in our new home." Colin said, his hands still caressing her. 

"She definitely will. Rae loves being housekeeper."

_

Once they arrived at their new home, they were given a tour of the place by Rae, who showed them just about where every room was. As if she could detected something, something Penelope and Colin had no clue of, Rae showed them where the nursery would be set up, then she smirked between the two of them. 

"This a good space for the nursery." Penelope said, brushing off Rae's withering looks. 

"I believe so as well. I take it you both will call on me and the staff to set up this room very soon?" One thing Colin liked about Rae was her bluntness, and how she got straight to the point. 

"Whatever do you mean?" Penelope asked. Penelope knew she was not with child. They took that first time of not being successful as their sign to simply enjoy each other's company before settling into parenthood. They were still actively intimate, just not completing the process that secured her being with child. 

"Mmmmm..." Rae emphasized, then closed the door to the nursery and showed them their separate bedchambers. Of course, they did not believe in sleeping in separate bedchambers, but it was nice to know that they had their own space as well. One thing Colin learned about Penelope's sleeping habit is that she slept like the dead, so much so that he would check to see if Penelope was breathing. She made no sounds, and she hardly moved. 

One thing Penelope has noticed about Colin while he slept is that he snored, and loudly. It was like a sound she had never heard in her life! But she carried that same sentiment, as long as she could hear him snore, he was still alive and breathing and enjoying his sleep. 

"Rae, you have done a phenomenal job decorating while we were gone." Penelope said. 

"Thank you, I merely just did what I thought you might like, and of course, the Viscount and Viscountess were instrumental in the process as well." Rae replied. 

"That reminds me, dear. We must pay them a visit." Colin said. 

"And it is so close we could take a leisurely stroll." Penelope smiled. 

"Of course, my love. Let us be on our way."

__

The bustling noises of Bridgerton House was something Penelope missed. She could hear a baby crying, Eloise and Hyacinth fighting, and she could hear Benedict's voice telling everyone to calm down. 

"Really, no Welcome Home banner?" Colin asked with his hands on his hips, while Penelope looked up at him smiling. She turned her head to the family at the sound of their excited gasps and as expected, Hyacinth jumped up first and engulfed Penelope in the hug of all hugs.

"Hyacinth, is she to breath?" Colin asked, and Hyacinth pulled back. 

"Forgive me, sister. Oh, how I have missed you." Hyacinth said, holding both Penelope's hands. 

"I have missed you too, Hy. And I have gotten you everything you have asked for." Penelope whispered the last part to her. 

"Thank you." Hyacinth whispered back. 

"Why are you both whispering?" Eloise asked as she approached them. 

"Sister secrets, that is all." Hyacinth shrugged. 

"Penelope is my sister as well, as are you. And she is my best friend. Run off, Hy." Eloise said, and Hyacinth rolled her eyes as she marched off. 

"Still a botanist enthusiast?" Penelope teased. 

"Nature has been a fascinating discovery for me." Eloise replied. 

"I see, then I suppose the book I bought you in Italy will be wonderful for you." Penelope said. 

"We can talk about that book later. Pen, I have missed you!" Eloise said, throwing her arms around Penelope quickly. 

"Can everyone stop squeezing my wife, please?" Colin said, moving closer to Penelope and Eloise. 

"Why are you being such a bummer. It is just a hug." Eloise shrugged. 

"Colin, I am well. In fact, I encourage such warm and tight embraces." Penelope smiled. 

"Very well." Colin stepped back and greeted the rest of his family. He noticed his mother had a bittersweet look on her face, smiling with a tear. 

"Mother?" Colin asked as she leaned down to hug her. 

"You have been gone far too long, Colin. And you took my daughter with you. Two of my children were gone, so I am allowed to cry." Violet added, then Penelope joined them. Colin stepped aside and hugged her as well. 

"It is so good to see you, my girl." Violet said during their embrace. 

"You too, Violet. We missed home." Penelope added. 

"You must meet your new nephew." Violet guided them both to Sophie and Benedict, who were proud parents of a baby boy with thick, chestnut hair. Sophie handed him to Penelope first while Colin greeted them with hugs. 

"Oh, he is simply beautiful!" Penelope beamed at the little boy staring up at her in her arms. 

"He gets his looks from his mother." Benedict added. 

"And his father's hair, that is for certain." Sophie added. 

"Hi Charles." Penelope said, his little fingers wrapped around her index finger. 

"He was crying not a minute ago, and now he has ceased." Gregory added. 

"It is because his Aunty Penelope is here." Penelope smiled. "Yes, that is it -" she cooed at the baby. 

"So it is confirmed. Everyone talks to babies in that high pitched voice then." Penelope heard Eloise say. 

"Now come, you must meet your uncle." Penelope told Charles, as if he understood her. Carefully, she handed Charles to Colin, and the moment he cradled his nephew in his arms, she melted like ice cream on a hot day. He was a natural, born to be a father. He somehow managed to make the boy giggle, and Charles had such a beautiful smile. It was a picture perfect moment, one Penelope wanted framed in their new home. 

"Colin will make a great father someday." Eloise bumped shoulders with her, and she nodded her head. 

"He certainly will, he is a natural." Penelope smiled, watching Colin talk to the baby. He smiled brightly to his nephew, holding him with such gentleness and comfort. 

"I suppose you both are enjoying each other then?" Eloise asked in a hushed tone. 

"Colin is meeting Anthony and Benedict for an hour or so tomorrow afternoon. Come and pay me a visit, we have much to discuss." Penelope replied in the same hushed voice.

"Sounds scandalous! I will be there!"

_

"Portia, lovely to see you." Colin did not fib. It really was nice to see his mother-in-law. She welcomed them into her home so graciously, praising them. 

"You were sorely missed." Portia replied. 

"As were you, mama." Penelope said. 

"Your sisters are expecting their third children. I am certain they planned for this." Portia added. 

"That is wonderful, we shall pay them both a visit soon." Penelope added. Just before her wedding, Philippa had given birth to a baby boy, Parker Finch. They were proud parents to Philomena and Parker now, while Prudence and Harry were proud parents to Peter and Primrose. Penelope wondered what other names beginning with the letter P they could think of. 

"I bet they have both begun brainstorming names." Colin added. 

"They have, and Prudence is certain she will be having another girl, and Philippa is as well. They are both arguing over who gets to name their daughter after me." 

"Philippa had a feeling she was carrying a boy, perhaps her feelings are correct this time as well." Penelope replied. She was delighted to welcome some more nieces and nephews on both sides of her family, but her sisters being with child again brought back some fond memories of then they were all with child together the very first time. Quite a bittersweet moment.

"So, how have you two been? With the news of your sisters' pregnancies, as well as the Viscountess, certainly that must inspire you both as well..." Portia hid a smirk behind her teacup.

"All in good time, Portia. Your grandchildren from us will come." Penelope admired Colin's enthusiasm and positivity. With the news of three of her sisters with child, Prudence, Philippa and Kate, and with baby Charles in the mix, Penelope felt inspired. 

Perhaps this is our sign. 

She wondered, and she wondered how Colin might feel about it. Of course, she knew he wanted lots of children, but she wondered if he was ready now. 

"I will be praying for you both. And I hardly pray, but can you imagine? Your babies will be adorable."

"Thank you, mama."

_

The ride to their new home was still, too still for Colin's liking. He knew what they needed to address, but he did not know how to bring it up. He wondered what was going through Penelope's mind as she looked out the window. 

"So, many babies ahead in the family." He was grateful Penelope was the one who brought it up. 

"So it seems, yes. A rather exciting time." Colin hoped Penelope was as ready as he was. 

"Colin-"

"Penelope-" 

They both spoke, and then it was followed by an awkward chuckle. 

"You first." Colin insisted. She nodded her head, then took a deep breath. 

"So, Charles is rather adorable, looks just like your brother." Penelope said, and Colin nodded enthusiastically. 

"He is a Bridgerton, for sure. Have you seen his hair? And his facial structure? That baby is going to look just like Benedict when he is older." Colin laughed. 

"Oh, I certainly agree. Was Sophie even present during conception? Because the resemblance is uncanny!" 

"Must be strange for a woman to carry a child for nine months only for them to come out looking like their father." Colin replied, and then he saw it. A hopeful beam from her, the light on her face, the way she smiled like an angel. 

"I would not mind one bit if all our children look just like you." Penelope said, and after hearing those words, his stomach did an unusual somersault. His heart warmed at the thought of Penelope being with child. The way he would protect her and their children fiercely...

"You do not want even one of our ten children to inherit your red hair and ocean blue eyes?" Colin asked, mimicking her, he was certain. His face was plastered with the biggest smile. 

"Ten? Colin, the number of kids we will have keeps increasing." She said, a little stunned. "But I would not oppose the idea of a red headed baby either. And your eyes are the most remarkable shade of blue. Mine are nothing in comparison to yours." She said, and he slid closer to her on the seat. 

"You say that because you love me, wife. Our twelve children will inherit your eyes. They are strong and beautiful, and so very mesmerizing. However will I say no to them if they have your eyes?" He reached up and caressed her cheeks, and she melted into his embrace. 

"That is exactly why they should have yours. I am certain all four of them will get away with murder if they have mine. You simply cannot resist my eyes." She fluttered her lashes so seductively, and she was right. He could not resist her. He would lose tract of time just stating into her eyes. He leaned down and they connected for a searing kiss, leading to a beautiful moan escaping her lips. Her wonderous voice only turned his infatuation with her more on, and he found himself roaming her body, grabbing her breast, stroking her sides, fingers brushing against her thighs. 

"Colin-" she said, breathlessly as she broke away, taking a huge gasp for air. It was so common with them, kissing for so long they had to break away for air. Colin could kiss his wife forever. He wished she was actually the air he breathed. She placed her hands against his chest gently. 

"We are not making a baby in the back of a carriage." Penelope whispered as his lips found her neck. He listened to her gasp as she threw her head back, allowing him greater access to her skin.

"Why not?" He murmured against her skin, then continued to suck and lick the skin there. 

"Because-" she breathed. "We are almost home and I would hate for us to stop, especially when I never want you to stop." 

"We will make a baby today?" He asked, reluctantly raising his head to look at her, and she nodded. It was what he wanted, what she wanted. 

For the remainder of the ride home, Colin only hoped the carriage would move faster. They had a mission in mind, one they were so determine to complete. 

Penelope took the next day to wander around the property, and Colin had gone out with his brothers for a little bit. He promised to be gone for only an hour. Penelope had already received a rather urgent letter from Eloise stating that she would be visiting soon, which was not unusual, to say the least. Eloise stated that Violet insisted she sent a note first before showing up. 

Penelope admired the architectural beauty of her home, and she could not believe this was where they would raise their children someday.

Once she reached outside, soaking up the sun, she decided that she and Eloise would sit outside on a blanket for a picnic with various snacks to her liking. Penelope could see it - children running around and playing games. They could install a swing and other things for entertainment.

Perhaps a little pond would do wonders as well.

The library was just as exquisite! Penelope could see herself spending hours in there reading books, and letting her children choose books for her to read to them at night. 

Standing in the drawing room, Penelope reminisced their encounter the day before, and she blushed at the memory of it. Colin was such a tentative lover, and so very thoughtful. She felt lucky to be married to a man that took such good care of her, one who considered her well-being above all else. He placed her hands on her neck, and she was suddenly reminded of her conversation with Rae. 

***

"You are covered in red marks. Care to explain?" Rae asked as Penelope and Rae looked through her dresses. 

"Must I really?"

"No, because you are blushing. That story tells itself." Penelope giggled. 

"We were inspired by the news of new babies coming to try for one of our own." Penelope confessed, and Rae gasped with excitement. 

"That is wonderful news, Penelope!" Rae hugged her. 

"Thank you." 

"I am surprised you did not come home with child already." Rae replied. 

"We decided to wait for a bit, but now, we are both ready." Penelope said. 

"I am glad, and I know a great tip to help you reduce some of the redness on your neck. It involves packaging the red spot with something iced. I will bring you something." 

***

Penelope smiled as she recalled her conversation with Rae, and the tip seemed to help. Her love bites were not as red as they were when she woke up that morning. 

"I must say, I got a private tour a few weeks ago, but seeing it now, with you in it, certainly gives it a new perspective." Eloise said, making Penelope turn. 

"Eloise, you are here!" Penelope exclaimed, then strolled across the room to hug her friend. "Come, we have much to discuss, since Colin is not here." Penelope said. 

"Are you tired of my brother already? It has only been seven months, Pen!" Eloise said. 

"No, not that. I will never grow tired of your brother. I mean that we will have plenty to discuss. I mean I will listen, and you will talk." 

"Penelope, I have been stuck in London while you visited three countries while on your honeymoon. Clearly you have much to tell me, rather." Eloise placed her hands on her hips.

"I will tell you whatever it is you wish to know." Penelope smirked. 

"My brother has infected you with his wickedness!" Eloise exclaimed. 

"Nothing that was not already there, dear El. Now come, our picnic in the garden awaits." They linked arms as they made their way outside. 

Once the girls were settled on the red and white checked blanket, the basket with assorted snacks and refreshments beside them, Eloise placed her book on the blanket, which peaked Penelope's interest. 

"Another book on the study of plants?" Penelope asked, whimsically. 

"They are quite fascinating, if you dedicate your time and effort into getting to understand all things biology." Eloise replied. 

"And what made you want to learn about nature?" Penelope asked. 

"It is just something I accidently picked up, and suddenly could not put it back down. I believe this is something I am very much interest in." Eloise replied, and Penelope smiled. 

"I am thrilled you have found something that makes you this happy." 

"Thank you, Penelope." Eloise rummaged through the basket until she found something to her liking. "Now tell me about your honeymoon." 

"What is there to tell? It was a honeymoon. It was beautiful, magical, exciting, joyous... Just, wonderful." Penelope beamed. 

"You said you would tell me anything I wish to know." Eloise reminded her. 

"Very well, Eloise. We went to Greece first. Out of the three, Greece was by far, my favorite. The blueness of the sky and the sea, the people, the food... And not to mention, the Greek mythology. I found myself falling deeply in love with the story of Odyssey." Penelope told her friend, who looked utterly confused. 

"Pen, you must elaborate. I have not brushed up on my Greek mythology... ever!" Penelope laughed at her statement. Of course, Penelope grew ever so invested in Greek mythology since Colin first announced he would be leaving for Greece. She wanted to know everything about the country, but while she though she knew everything, she did not know the story of Odyssey until Colin explained it to her in depth under the Greek stars and exception views. 

"It is a poem of Odysseus, the King of Ithaca, who is lost for 10 long years and he is desperately trying to make his way back home after the Trojan War. He comes home and nobody recognizes him. He also learns that while he was gone, his wife, Penelope-" 

"His wife is named Penelope?" Eloise asked, and Penelope nodded her head. "Is that why you love it so much?" Eloise narrowed her eyes. 

"I love it so much because Colin told me their story somewhat mirrors what he went through, so will you let me finish the story so I can tell you about the similarities?" Penelope asked, and Eloise nodded her head. "Right, so. Penelope received a number of suitors, all eager to make her their wives. Eventually, after many tests and trials, Penelope recognized him and they find each other, after so long. I think it is rather romantic." 

"So, the similarities are?"

"Colin said he found himself lost after I married Lord Debling. He was aimlessly travelling with no purpose. He may have known where he was going, but he still remained lost. Then, he found his way back to me. I may have put him through some trials as well, but now here we are. Married." Penelope ended off, and Eloise nodded her head. 

"You and Colin are such hopeless romantics, it is rather adorable." Eloise said, her bottom lip covering her top. 

"Are you mocking us?" Penelope asked. 

"No, I am not." Eloise quickly defended. 

"That is alright if you are, we are hopeless romantics. That is why our honeymoon was so special." Penelope said. 

"It would be a waste not to name at least one of your children after a character in the poem." Eloise said. The mere mention of children Penelope jump internally. After their act, she was certain she would know soon enough of she would be with child. 

"Which do you think is better? Telemachus or Eumaeus?" Penelope mockingly asked as Eloise pulled a face of disgust. 

"My goodness, neither!" Penelope chuckled. 

"Good, so I will not be naming my children after that poem. That would scar them for life!" 

"Italy?" Eloise asked. 

"We spend majority of our time cooped up inside, if I am being honest with you, but when we did go out, Colin showed me the largest known library there. That man really knows me, because I was so awestruck the entire time! He asked me to find books that might interest me and I found nearly six that were fascinating, and be somehow convinced the owners to allow him to purchase the books. From a library!"

"Colin did not!"

"He most certainly did! Do you know how much I love your brother?" Penelope added. 

"You do not need to remind me. I am certain it is an egregious amount." Eloise replied. 

"Multiply that by the largest number you know, that is how much. Then we went sight seeing, and Colin and I took up a cooking class there as well." Eloise's eyes widened.

"Really?"

"Yes, and I discovered your brother really knows his way around the kitchen." Eloise looked flabbergasted. 

"My brother? Colin? Are you certain?"

"He had travelled the continent for years so he had to learn the basics of cooking. He taught me a thing or two in the kitchen." 

"Then why do you have a cook? Colin can take up that position with ease then." Penelope laughed at her suggestion. 

"Anything else happen in Italy?" 

"I was almost convinced I was with child because my courses were running late. Other than that, nothing much." Penelope shrugged. 

"Oh, you must tell me more." Eloise said, rummaging through the basket. 

"It is exactly that. My courses were late."

"I expected to see you with a swollen belly yesterday, to be honest." Eloise said. "We all did."

"We just wanted to enjoy our honeymoon before becoming parents. Now, I believe we are ready." Penelope confessed.

"So, I will became an aunt again?"

"It is too soon to hell, Eloise. We tried for the first time since being married just yesterday." 

"Since being married? Does that mean you tried to get pregnant before you were married?" Penelope nodded her head. "That is news to me." 

"It did not work out. My courses came, so we decided to wait until after marriage to try and conceive again." 

"What made you try before marriage?" Penelope was glad Eloise was not judging her for that decision she made months ago. 

"Because I knew I was going to marry him, El."

Chapter Text

Three months had gone by very quickly, and Colin was certain life could not get any sweeter. Every morning, he woke up next to the most beautiful woman in the world, and he and Penelope shared a beautiful home. He was the happiest man on the planet, for certain. Penelope had mentioned that they could perhaps get a pet, maybe a puppy or a kitten. Colin liked this idea very much, as long as he was not responsible for cleaning up after the creature. They were on their way to a local animal shelter in search of a little pup or kitten in need, and Penelope was dressed with the brightest smile. 

"Can you tell I am excited?" Penelope asked in their bedchamber, finishing up her look for the day. His beautiful bride was dressed in a lovely pink floral day dress, and she knew he liked it when she wore her hair down, so she did. Her hair fell perfectly back in lose curls. He fought every urge not to run his fingers through her hair, but she had spent a significant amount of time on her hair. The butterfly clips in her hair made her seem more like a Goddess than anything else. 

Slowly, he approached his wife and placed his arms around her neck. She leaned lovingly into him, smiling up at him. 

"You look beautiful when you are excited, my love. More so than you already are." He said, then placed a quick kiss on her lips. 

"Thank you, my husband. But I must ask. What are you hoping for more? A kitten or a puppy?" She pondered for a bit. 

"Perhaps a puppy? Or a dog that is a bit older. It does not need to be a babe." Colin replied. 

"I am happy with either. I never really grew up with pets." Penelope replied. 

"That, I am aware of. Now we must remedy that. We will grow old with pets, instead." Colin said. She wiggled free from his embrace. 

"And children, and grandchildren if we are so lucky." Penelope said, reminding him. Colin placed his hand lovingly on her belly. The night before, Colin had rushed a doctor to their home to confirm their suspicions. Penelope was with child, indeed. 

"I still cannot believe it. She will be so perfect, Pen." Colin smiled at her. 

"You have been calling this baby a girl since we found out, since yesterday."

"I have been dreaming about this moment, and in my dreams we are blessed with a girl first. One of ten or twelve children, and our first is a girl." Penelope sighed as she shook her head. 

"You are so delusional, but I love you nonetheless." Penelope said, then kissed him quickly. 

"We must leave if we wish to be home before lunch. Chef is preparing a grand meal. Eloise is coming over."

"Have you not seen her everyday for the last three month or so?" Colin asked as she grabbed a few items from her vanity desk. 

"What is your point?"

"Only that I grew up with Eloise and I saw her everyday, and I have grown rather tired of her."

"She is your sister, and before she became mine we were best friends. I will never grow tired of Eloise." 

"I suppose you are right. She has her quirks. When do you plan on telling her about the baby?" 

"For now, I like it as it is. Just us knowing about it." Penelope replied. "Perhaps when I am further along, we can share the good news."

_

Colin awaited Penelope by the entrance, tapping his feet. Rae had called Penelope aside for a moment and the two walked off. She gently told him she would be back shortly. She was out of his sight for barely two minutes, and he missed her greatly already. Just as he was about to head in their direction, he heard a commotion outside, and once he opened the door, he saw his brothers. All three of them. The look on their faces were frantic and messy. They ran from Bridgerton House to see him, or consult with him over whatever had occurred. 

"Brothers!" He asked, but when Anthony straightened his posture, his face could be easily read. He was distressed. Colin grew concerned. "What is the matter?"

"Eloise is missing. She has been since last night. Mother went to her room this morning and she noticed Eloise had not even slept in her bed last night." Anthony quickly said. Colin's mind went numb. His sister? Missing? He could not bare to witness his mother in so much distress. 

"What?" 

"She is missing, brother! We left for Lady Danbury's last night for supper, but she was not feeling too well, so mother allowed her to stay home. The servants said she did step outside, but she did not return. Mother believes she has been kidnapped." Gregory added, and now Colin was really freaking out. He wondered how Penelope might react to the need, and dreaded having to tell her. 

"Do you think perhaps Penelope might know something?" Benedict asked. 

"Why would she know anything if mother believes she was kidnapped?" Colin asked. 

"Who was kidnapped?" A frightful Penelope asked, and all four gentleman turned her way. 

"Pen, I-"

"Colin, who?" She sternly asked again, slowly approaching them. 

"Eloise is missing." Gregory's words lead for a sharp breath to escape his wife's lips. She placed her hand over her chest in agony and he watched as a tear slipped from her beautiful eyes. 

"And..." She took a deep breath as Colin's arm wrapped around her shoulder. She wiped a tear that fell abruptly away. "and you believe she was kidnapped?" Penelope finished. 

"Mother thinks so." Benedict told her. 

"That... That's cannot be! Eloise is smart. She is probably the best at hand combat than any of you." 

"That does not mean she could not get kidnapped." Benedict added. 

"No, this cannot be! Did you speak to the staff? Perhaps they saw something." Penelope asked. 

"They saw her step outside for what I presume would be a smoke break, but she never returned." Benedict told her.

"John. Did you speak to him? When Eloise was sneaking out of the house, she trusted him to get her to her destination and back home safely." Penelope added, and Anthony hissed. 

"John? Footman John?" 

"Yes, him!" 

"We have not spoken to him." Benedict added. 

"Then we will start there. I will search Eloise's room for anything. I simply do not believe she has been kidnapped." Penelope added, and the five of them marched towards Bridgerton House. 

**

The house was filled with his mother's wails, and Francesca and Hyacinth did all they could to comfort her. Penelope wasted no time rushing up the stairs to Eloise's room to search for clues. The brothers, however, made their way to the servants quarters to question John. 

"Perhaps I should do the talking?" Colin asked as he noticed Anthony's fumes bursting through his ears. 

"I will do the talking, brother!" Anthony exclaimed, his protective nature for his sister booming through. Once they found John, Anthony hoisted him up from his seat, alarming the rest of the servants. 

"Where is Eloise? I know she used you once to sneak out, and now she is missing." Anthony's hands were pressed against John's collarbone, and Benedict and Gregory expressed the same anger. Colin had to be the voice of reason. 

"Brother, how will we get him to talk if you are holding him in such fashion?" Colin asked, settling beside them.

"I think he is quite comfortable up here, are you, John?" 

"My Lord! I may have assisted Eloise in the past, but I assure you, I am uncertain of what you speak of!" John said, and Anthony lowered his hands. John fell to the ground in with a wheezing cough, and Colin checked up on him on the floor. 

"You are helping the man responsible for our sister's disappearance?" Gregory asked. 

"He does not know where Eloise is!" Colin's voice echoed through the room. "Let us hope Penelope has found something."

**

"I found something!" Penelope exclaimed, a letter and a pressed flower in her hand. "But I am certain you will not like where this is going." Penelope added, much to everyone's surprise. 

"Penelope, what is it?" Violet asked, slowly rising. Kate stood beside her, assisting her.

"She has been in correspondence with someone. With Sir Phillip Crane." Penelope replied, and Colin stepped closer to his wife. "Sir Phillip, as in Marina-" Colin shook his head. "I mean, Lady Crane's husband?"

"Yes, that is exactly who." Penelope replied. "That is not all." Penelope sighed. "He proposed marriage to her in this letter."

"Penelope, dear. Did you say he proposed?" Violet asked.

"That is correct. He asked to meet her. The letter also states they have been in correspondence since my cousin's passing." Penelope sighed. More so, she could not believe Eloise had kept this information from her.

"Let me see that letter." Anthony stepped forward, and Penelope handed the letter to him. She watched Anthony scourer the letter for more clues. "This is... This is ridiculous, even for Eloise. And irresponsible! How could she leave without as much as a note?"

"At least we know where she is." Kate said, trying to sooth her husband's ire. 

"That honestly explains why she had suddenly become so fascinated with nature." Penelope added, looking at the pressed flower in her hand. 

"What is that you hold in your hand?" Benedict asked. 

"It is a pressed flower. He must have given it to her. I found this letter and a few other pressed flowers hidden in her desk." 

"So they have been courting, basically." Francesca said.

"This does not count as courting. It has been in secret, and now she is with a man unchaperoned!" Anthony replied.

"So what is the plan then?" Benedict asked.

"We leave for wherever this man resides, and soon." Anthony replied.

"Colin, you have been to Romney Hall." Penelope quickly said. She remembered he paid her cousin a visit a year into her marriage with Sir Phillip. 

"Yes, I have." She noted the reluctancy in his voice.

"Well then, you must lead the way." Penelope urged.

"That is excellent news. We leave in an hour." Anthony replied. 

"It is a day and a half's ride." Colin replied, mainly because he had no intention of being away from Penelope, especially since she was with child. Their child. 

"Brothers, you have responsibilities here. Colin, you got married mere months ago, Benedict, you have a newborn baby, and Anthony, you are the Viscount, and your Viscountess is expecting. I will retrieve Eloise and bring her home." Colin admired his little brother's strength and confidence. 

"Gregory, we must all leave at once. We will not be gone for long." Anthony replied. 

And so it was decided, much to Colin's dislike, that the brothers would journey to Gloucestershire. Of course, he was worried for his sister, but he wanted nothing more than to bring Penelope with. He did not think he could go even a minute without being by her side. And so, he frowned, and Penelope slowly approached him. 

"I will be alright while you are gone. Your mother asked me to stay, so I will not be all alone." Penelope said, caressing his cheek. 

"I wish you could come with." Colin pouted. 

"I will miss you, dear husband, but your sister is in need of you." Penelope replied. 

"I know, and I will miss you too." He kissed her cheek. 

"Come, I will help you ensure you have all you need. And your brother did say you leave in an hour. There is plenty we can do in an hour while your bag is being packed." She smirked. His wife was his little minx. It certainly was not the time to think of intimacies, but how could he deny his wife such pleasure? 

Five days later:

Eloise sat in the back of the carriage surrounded by her brothers in pure agony. Their disappointed withering looks made her feel like she had let them down badly. And truthfully, she did. Not only did she run away from home to meet a man she hardly knew (only through their correspondence), but they also participated in the sort of activities Penelope describe to her. Sex. She remembered the seed Penelope spoke of, and how she was certain Sir Phillip had released his, and how she became a little wary about the situation immediately after. She remembered her conversation with Penelope, that she and Colin tried for a baby before they got married because they knew they would be married soon. 

Eloise never acted that impulsively before in her life. She knew leaving her house in the middle of the night meant something, that she had grown to like the conversations she had with Sir Phillip, meeting him was ultimately the next step. 

Sir Phillip once again proposed marriage, and given the fact that she had fully ruined herself before marriage, she simply had to accept. A simply kiss in his greenhouse lead to a passionate encounter in her bedchambers the second day she had been there. He was gentle, given the black eye given to her by his prankster children, but she could not believe how quickly she had succumbed to his charm. 

Sir Phillip was not as charming as her brother, Colin, who could charm his way out of any situation. He had a different type of charm, one she grew greatly attracted to. After she got to know his children (in all but two days unchaperoned, and one extra day with her brothers by her side), she had grown to admire them greatly. Oliver and Amanda were all but seven years old, and already such pranksters. Her favorite prank was the one where they positioned a bucket of flour atop her door, leading to her looking like a ghost. She smiled as she recalled a similar occurrence between Benedict and Colin.

"So, you agreed to marry him in two weeks." Anthony replied. "And in such a quick manner, might I add." 

"Please, do not." Eloise shut her eyes. "You have already given me a lecture in the study." 

"Did he compromise you?" Benedict asked.

"That is not important. I am already marrying him." 

"So that is a yes?" Gregory asked.

"Why are you even here? You are hardly a man!" Eloise retorted. 

"That does not mean I do not care about your reputation! If people got wind of your little act, you would be ruined. If Lady Whistledown got wind of this, you would be shunned out of society! You should be grateful Penelope found a letter Sir Phillip wrote to you hidden in your desk!" Gregory added, and everyone looked at him with shock. She was shocked that he mentioned Penelope and Whistledown in the same sentence, for Penelope was Whistledown. 

When did my baby brother become so wise?

"I assure you, Whistledown will not publish a thing." Eloise folded her arms. 

"How can you be so certain? Your ignorance frustrates me!" Gregory exclaimed. 

"Can you just stop talking? We are almost home! I do not need this from you, Greg. I am already expecting a mouthful from mother!" She glanced over at Colin, who stared out the window.

"And you, Colin? You have hardly said a word since Romney Hall." Eloise added, and she wished she had not said a thing because the way he looked at her seemed as if he was ready to murder her. 

"I am angry at you, Eloise! You have been irresponsible. Mother is in distress. I hate that I had to see her in such a state. My wife shed tears when she heard you were gone. You were selfish, Eloise. You thought not of anyone but yourself!" 

"Where is this coming from? You did not display such rage at Romney Hall!"

"I did not want to reprimand you in front of Sir Phillip! And I simply was not in the mood. And damn, Eloise! I miss my wife!" Colin shouted. 

"We are almost home, and you survived a few days without her. As did Anthony and Benedict with their wives." Eloise added. 

"And I am certain they miss their wives and children as well. Charles is only a few months old and Benedict had to travel to find you. Kate is expecting, and Anthony had to leave her and Edmund as well! And I, I never want to make Penelope miss me. She does not need that, especially since..." He cut off his words abruptly, catching his breath. He was hiding something from them, and she had an idea of what he wanted to say. 

Is Penelope with child?

"I understand..." Eloise softly replied, and Colin looked up at her. 

"So you see, you were acting irresponsibly and reckless." 

"I'm sorry." Eloise said, guilt building up in her chest. The carriage came to a hilt upon their arrival at Bridgerton House. Colin pushed the door open and left abruptly. They watched him in anguish. 

"I did not expect him to get an apology out of you." Benedict added. 

"Just leave him be," Eloise said with a deep sigh. Perhaps she was being selfish, but she did not expect Colin to call her such. Not him, at least. Colin was the nice brother. 

"Leave him be? Whatever that was, I am calling him the next time you act out like this again!" Anthony added.

"Rather not. He would simply miss his wife too much." Gregory added as a joke. 

_

Penelope slept in Colin's childhood room for those few days, and each morning, she would arise and puke the contents in her stomach out. Luckily, nobody noticed. That is what she believed. Everyone was too distressed over Eloise's decision to leave. Only, someone did notice. Hyacinth, of all people. As she prepared herself for the day, there was a small knock on the door, and before she could get up and open it, Hyacinth came in and locked the door. This surprised Penelope, who simply smile at her.

"Good morning, Penelope. Late to break fast, as usual." Hyacinth said, folding her hands against her chest.

"Good morning to you too, Hyacinth. And if you must know, I wanted to sleep in." Penelope said as she applied a cream to her hands.

"That you have been saying since you have been sleeping here. Kate said that too at the beginning of her pregnancy this year." Penelope's eyes widened, and Hyacinth's did as well. Not much communication occurred before Hyacinth gasped and squealed in delight.

"Penelope!" She jumped up and down, and Penelope was forced to stand up and hold her still.

"Shhhhh-" Hyacinth seized her jumping, but her smile never faded. "It is still very early. Nobody knows."

"This is the greatest news!" Penelope lead Hyacinth to the bed, where they sat. "Congratulations."

"Thank you, Hy. Now promise me you will not tell a soul." Hyacinth grinned, and folded her arms.

"I will not tell a soul." Things were never truly that easy with Hyacinth, and Penelope narrowed her eyes, waiting for the other shoe to drop. "But it will cost you."

"There she is." Penelope joked.

"I want something." Hyacinth asked.

"Of course you do." 

"You make me sound like a terrible person. I am simply an opportunist." Hyacinth replied.

"That, I am aware of. But how about I make you a proposal instead." Penelope said.

"All I wanted was a new pair of dancing shoes, but let me hear you out." Hyacinth said.

"That is all?" Penelope asked.

"Yes, but mother will not get me a new pair since I got a new pair just last month."

"Let me ask you a question, Hy. What do you deeply desire?" Penelope asked, and Hyacinth did not even have to think about her answer.

"To debut in society and make a splash in Whistledown. I want her to call me the diamond of the season, like she did with Daphne, but I want a dazzling review on my debut."

"Very ambitious of you, I like it." Penelope smiled.

"That is what I desire, but you cannot help me with that, so the dancing shoes will do nicely." Penelope chuckled.

"Oh, but what if I could? You turn 18 next year, and your debut is the following year. What if I could pull some strings and get you your positive review in Whistledown?" Penelope said, and Hyacinth looked up at her.

"How could you possibly allow me that?"

"Because, dear Hyacinth, I am Lady Whistledown." Hyacinth's jaw dropped lower than the floor.

"My goodness!" Penelope heard her silently say. "You are?"

"Indeed, and I can prove it."

"There is no need. You would not lie to me. Does Colin know?" Hyacinth asked.

"Yes, as well as Benedict, Eloise, Sophie, your mother, Kate and Anthony, and Francesca discovered it herself. Now, you do as well."

"Honestly, that explains a lot. Your fallout with Eloise, mainly." Hyacinth replied.

"Yes, not my finest hour, might I add. But someday, hopefully before this baby is born, we will sit down and I will tell you all about it." Penelope told her.

"I would like that very much, and Penelope, your secret is safe with me."

"I know it is, Hyacinth. Thank you."

"You are welcome. This is better than any new pair of shoes." Penelope laughed. Hyacinth hugged Penelope, and she could now say with great certainty that Hyacinth Bridgerton gave the best hugs.

"You truly are the best, and I simply cannot believe my sister is Lady Whistledown. How I have admired her for so long, and here you have been under my nose this entire time, since I was a child, really." Hyacinth said as they hugged.

"I have been dying to tell you for the longest time. Now you know two secrets about me." Penelope said as they parted.

"And I am glad to know, because I was not kidding when I said this is better than new shoes. Penelope, you are Whistledown. Do you understand the influence and power you hold over me? Over other girls like me who wants nothing more than to experience only a little bit of what you have?" Hyacinth asked. 

"Hy, you will make me cry with your words. You are powerful in your own right, just as much as other girls are as well. You are so unique, Hyacinth. Truly, the wittiest and most opportunistic Bridgerton in this house. Nobody is like you. Me, I just wield a pen and write gossip. You, my goodness Hyacinth, you are remarkable." Penelope said, and Hyacinth smiled. 

"Thank you, Penelope. It seems you may make me cry with your words. And that pen you wield is hope for many, that there is more to life than just marriage." Hyacinth replied. Before Penelope could respond, they heard Violet's voice booming from downstairs. 

"Eloise must be home." Penelope said. 

"I believe so, yes. Should we go downstairs?" Hyacinth asked. 

"Perhaps you should go first. I will be there in a moment." Penelope said, and Hyacinth made her way downstairs. 

Penelope prepared herself for the possibility of Eloise being upset with her since she found the letters hidden away, but before she could leave, the door handle twisted and then she saw him. Her husband. She breathed a sigh of relief, and slowly made her way towards him as he closed the door. 

"Colin-" she said, and immediately wrapped her arms around his sturdy body. Colin rested his head on hers, holding her just as tight. 

"Pen, I have missed you." He said, kissing the top of her bed. 

"Me too, you were gone far too long." Penelope said, their embrace still warmly entacted. 

"Forgive me, wife. I promise not to leave your side for that long again." She shifted her head to look up at him, her chin resting on his chest. He too looked at her, then placed a kiss on her lips.

"How is she?" Penelope asked. 

"As expected, she is upset we came and brought her home, but mother will straighten her out." Colin replied. 

"Violet is really scolding her. I do not believe I have been heard her speak that loud." Penelope said. 

"She hardly ever needed to, but this situation requires it, I believe." Colin said, then his hands lowered to her belly. "How my little girl?" He asked, looking at her belly. She barely had a bump, but giggled at the way his soft hands caressed her. 

"Baby is well. Making me throw up, but well." Penelope said. 

"The doctor said this nausea should be coming to an end soon." Colin replied. 

"How I wish it could stop immediately. I have been sick every morning since I have been staying her." Penelope said as his gaze her hers once more. 

"I have not been here to ease your pain. Forgive me, Pen." Penelope shook her head. 

"There is nothing to forgive, Colin. Your sister needed you." 

"But still, I was not there." Colin insisted, and she reached up to hold his face in the palm of both her hands. 

"Do not he so hard on yourself. You are here now, and the now is all that matters." 

"You are far too good for me, Penelope. Far too good." She smiled at him. 

"And you, my husband, have survived five days without me. I would say a reward is imminent." 

__

Eloise had not seen Penelope when she got home. She was ushered straight to their drawing room. Instead, she was given a stern, very loud lecture by her mother surrounded by all her sibling, all but Colin and Penelope. Daphne and Simon had even journeyed from Clyvedon to be by their mother's side. 

Did I truly cause for so much distress that even Daphne is here?

Eloise could still remember the way their mother gave her a hug, a hug to confirm if she was truly home, then she backed away slowly and looked at her daughter in disbelief. 

"You have made me worry quite a bit this week, Eloise. I was worried I might never see you again, that somehow you had been kidnapped. I wrote to Daphne the moment I noticed your room was empty. I would have depended the resources of the Duke and Duchess to find you." Violet sighed, and Eloise nodded her head. 

"I am sorry, mother."

"Sorry? You are sorry? You left without as much as a note! You abandoned all your were taught about propriety because of secret letters you wrote to a man mourning his wife!" Violet exclaimed, her rage coming through sharply. 

"Mama-"

"No, Eloise! I will finish. You have always had a mind of your own free will, and I never expected you to take advantage of your privilege like this. To leave, unchaperoned and stay with a man you hardly know? What if something had happened to you along the way? What if this man was a monster? You did not think this though, and I wish to know why you allowed yourself to go this far." 

"You were not this mad when I snuck out to meet political radicals." Eloise quickly added, and her mother's eyes narrowed. 

"Eloise, watch your tone." Anthony stepped in. 

"No, for what? Clearly, you all do not trust me enough to make reasonable decisions. In my youth, I made mistakes, but I have learned from them. Now, as an adult I have made a decision to meet with a man I grew deeply attached to. Albeit unchaperoned, I knew there was a reason I needed to see him. You all have been nagging me to at least consider any marriage proposal. I have rejected plenty since my debut, but now when I have shown some interest in the opposite gender, I am the problem?" Eloise asked. 

"It is not that, Eloise. It is how you chose to approach the situation. Leaving in the middle of the night? Clearly, you must see how wrong that was for a woman as high born as you." Daphne replied, and Eloise scoffed.

"You cannot talk to me about how I chose to approach marriage. Did you not run in the middle of a duel to stop brother and your husband from killing each other, after you were caught kissing your husband in a garden, unchaperoned?" Eloise folded her arms, and all who did not know of this turned to Daphne. 

"How did you-"

"I learned quite a bit about members of this ton through Cressida Cowper." 

"Eloise, that is enough. They are married now. They have children." Violet added. 

"But it is okay for Daphne for act out in such a manner before marriage? Is it because she is married to a Duke?" Eloise asked. 

"That is far from the truth! Why can you not see how wrong this is?" Violet asked. 

"I am to marry Sir Phillip in two weeks. You all got your wish. I will me married and I will be moving to Gloucestershire. I will not longer be a burden for you all, the irresponsible unmarried daughter who makes careless decisions." Eloise huffed, but Eloise's breath caught in her throat when she heard her.

"Is that what you truly think of yourself?" Penelope's voice was soft, and Eloise could tell by her voice that she sounded hurt. Hurt than she thought so little so herself. Immediately, she felt the urge to run away and cry. Her sensible friend would come along and talk some sense into her, and she would cry. She hoped it would not occur in front of her entire family. Slowly, Eloise turned. She was face to face with Penelope, Colin by her side. 

"You think yourself a burden to us all?" She asked once more. 

"I know I am." 

"Where have you heard this from? That is untrue. Please tell me you did not run to Romney Hall for companionship because you considered yourself a burden." Penelope asked, and Eloise stumbled back slightly. Penelope was the one person in the world who could see right through her. 

"You did." Penelope confirmed, searching her eyes. "You ran away to find a life that did not include your family because you felt left out at home, like you no longer belonged. So now you think of yourself as a burden." Penelope was too good, a little too good. Eloise was shunned into silence. 

"Eloise?" She heard her mother speak, but her eyes never left Penelope's. 

"You got all that from me calling myself a burden?" Eloise said, barely a whisper. 

"I know that because that is exactly how I felt years ago. Scared, alone and a burden to my family. But you must know, you have no reason to feel alone, or scared." Penelope softly said, coming closer to her. 

"I am alone. You married Colin, Benedict married Sophie. Anthony and Kate are married. Most of my siblings are married and I feel alone." Eloise sighed. 

"But we are still very much there for you, Eloise." Benedict replied. 

"But not in the same sense anymore. You have significant others, and I am going to be that old spinster still coming to your homes and interrupting time with your own families. I had to go out and search for that for myself." Eloise confessed. 

"Eloise, your mother is right. You went about it wrong. If you had just mentioned this sooner, you could have been accompanied by one of your brothers to Romney Hall. Colin would have gladly gone, and I am certain any one of your brother would have. Sir Phillip could have even come here to Mayfair." Penelope reminder her. 

"This was something I wanted to do by myself, for myself." 

"I understand, Eloise. You have always been so determined your whole life. I admire that greatly about you. But you must understand, you still went about this all wrong." Penelope said. Eloise sighed in defeat. Perhaps they were all right, but she was still headstrong on her decision - her decision to do things for herself. She turned to face her family behind her. 

"I am sorry for the pain I have caused. I will accept whatever punishment I am assigned." Eloise said, but Violet moved in to hug her daughter once more. 

"More than anything, I am glad you are okay." Violet whispered, and Eloise felt a smile curve her lips as she closed her eyes in her mother's embrace. A tear slipped from her eyes and she violently wiped it away. She winced slightly as her fingers grazed her black eye. 

"Care to tell us how that eye came to be black?" Kate asked. 

"Sir Phillip has little demons for children. That is how." Eloise replied. 

"Have you placed something cold on your wound?" Francesca asked. 

"I have, yes. But I suppose some more ice could not hurt." Eloise said, and Francesca stepped forward and grabbed Eloise's hand. Together, they made their way to the kitchen. 

_

"You handled that well, dear." Colin whispered to Penelope as his lips found her head. 

"I hate that she feels that way." Penelope sighed. "So alone." 

"I do too, my love." Colin replied, then Violet slowly walked towards them. 

"Penelope, you handled with with such ease. Clearly you know Eloise better than most of us." 

"I have been by her side since we were children. I anticipate most of her next moves with accuracy, but I did not see this coming at all. If I had known..."

"There was nothing you could have done to stop her. You and I both know this." Violet said. 

"I know. But still, to know that is how she felt all along hurts to know." Penelope confessed. 

"You are probably the most well-suited couple of all my children in terms of your emotions. Children need such parents, and if they are anything like Eloise, head strong and stubborn, then I am certain you both will handle situations similar to this with ease." Violet said, her eyes roaming Penelope before or landed in Penelope's stomach. Colin and Penelope exchanged a look. 

"Thank you, mother." Colin said, unsure of what to say. 

"You both will make such remarkable parents." She patted Penelope's shoulder, then walked off to find Eloise. 

"She knows." Colin sighed. 

"It is your mother. Of course she knows. As does Hyacinth." Colin's eyes widened. 

"How did she-"

"Your sister is very observant, and she tried to blackmail me into getting her a new pair of dancing shoes." Penelope confessed as the moved to a more secluded section. 

"She did not-" Colin could not help but stiffle a laugh. 

"She did, but I handled it. We have come to an agreement, and I will not be purchasing any shoes for her." 

"You hustled the biggest hustler?" Colin asked, amused.

"Yes. In truth, gave her something she wanted more, but from that situation, it is still I who will be gaining from our agreement, as will she." 

"I do not think I understand." Colin asked, confused. 

"Let's just say Lady Whistledown will write a stellar review once she debuts in society. She will get her name featured in the column she loves, and I will get money from it."  Penelope shrugged. 

"You really are a genius, I hope you know." 

"Yes, I am well aware of this fact, husband." 

___

Later that day, Penelope and Colin showed Simon and Daphne their new home, giving them a quick little tour. Whilst Colin and Simon went about talking in his study, Daphne and Penelope settled in the drawing room with tea and biscuits. 

"You must tell me all about your travels. I am certain my brother took you to all the best places." Daphne said. 

"That is true, there was never a dull moment." 

"I must admit, we all were expecting you to be with child upon your arrival. Kate and Anthony, ever the most competitive, were the only ones to guess you would not be." Daphne replied, and Penelope giggled. 

"I am aware of that little wager. Eloise informed me." Penelope laughed. 

"Strange, knowing how much my brother loves children, and you as well." Daphne said. 

"We both do, and we cannot wait to start our own family. We just wanted to spend time with each other before we become parents, if that makes sense." Penelope said, lifting her tea cup. 

"No, it makes perfect sense, much like Kate and Anthony did. I simply could not wait to be with child." Daphne said. 

"Your three children are lucky to have a mother as wonderful as you." 

"I am lucky to have them, they are the wonderful ones." Daphne smiled. 

"Have you spoken to Frannie as of late? I heard she might have caught the eye of her late husband's cousin, Michael Sterling." Daphne said. 

"I did not know this, although I must admit, from what I have heard about him, he is rather famous for his charm." Penelope replied. 

"And where did you hear this?" 

"When Eloise was in Scotland, he was there as well. He was quite the charmer. Had most of the ladies swooning for him." Penelope replied. 

"I did not know this! But he seems earnest about Francesca." Daphne replied. 

"If that is what she wants, then she should pursue this." Penelope replied. 

"I have told her the same thing. She seems interested, and she is slowly coming out of her shell once more." Daphne replied. 

"I have witnessed that as well." Penelope said as she recalled moments between her and Francesca while she stayed at Bridgerton House. Francesca would come to her room with various sweet treats and they would sit in her room and talk. 

"If she is happy, then I am happy. That is all I desire for my sisters." 

"Even Eloise?" Penelope asked, and Daphne sighed. 

"Especially Eloise. She had always been so determined to sway away from marriage and children, so when I voiced my concerns, I did not expect her to bring up the circumstance that lead to mine and Simon's marriage. Now, she is is going to be everything she does not want. A wife, and a mother to Sir Phillip and your late cousin's children." Daphne replied. 

"What I do not understand is why she is so determined to marry him in two weeks. She hardly knows Sir Phillip." Penelope confessed. 

"If not even you know, then I suppose the rest of us never will." Daphne said as she reached for a pastry. 

"I still intend to talk to her, to know if there is anything more to her just being lonely. To know why she must marry Sir Phillip." Penelope replied. 

"You do not need to tell me all the details of what you two might discuss, but if she is in any trouble, you will inform me, right?" Daphne asked. 

"Of course I will." 

"Thank you, I am glad our sister has you."

__

It was later that evening when Penelope grew extremely exhausted. The day had been a long and tiring day, and she wished to retire early. It was not until Gregory and Eloise showed up that she had to make her way to the drawing room. 

"I had to plead with mama to let me see you, and she said I have a few minutes, but Gregory is my chaperone." Eloise rolled her eyes as she spoke. 

"You wished to see me, at this time?" Eloise asked. Colin made his way downstairs and saw his siblings. 

"Mother let you out the house?" Colin asked. 

"Do not start, brother. I must speak to Penelope." Eloise said, and Colin nodded his head. 

"Of course. You both can talk in the study. I will keep my little brother company." Gregory gave him a dirty look. 

"Little brother? Truly you must think of me as a child. I am ten and seven, brother." Gregory replied. 

"Nonetheless, still my little brother." Colin said as Eloise and Penelope walked off to the study. Once the door was closed, Penelope awaited in anticipation for her friends words. 

"Pen, I have done something." Eloise said, her arms dangling by her sides, nervously moving them to and fro. 

"Okay, I am listening." 

"But promise me you will not tell Colin." Penelope leaned back slightly. 

"Eloise, I cannot. He is my husband." Penelope replied. 

"It is just one little detail you do not need to tell him, since I will already be married to Sir Phillip. Please, tell me you will not tell him." Eloise pleaded once more. 

"I cannot. We are married. I never want to keep anything from him, even the slightest detail." Penelope confessed. 

"Not even for me? Your best friend?" Eloise asked. 

"No, Eloise. He is also your brother. If it concerns you, I must inform him." Penelope replied. 

"You do not have to. In fact, he will never know. It will seem legitimate." Eloise nodded her head, and Penelope narrowed her gaze. The realisation dawned upon her. The sudden urge to marry him. She could easily get out of her situation because nobody knew she was missing. She would not be ruined. 

"You-" Penelope started, but Eloise slowly opened the door to the study. "El!" Penelope exclaimed, and her hand lowered. Eloise froze on the spot, her back facing her friend. 

"Pen-"

"He compromised you." Penelope softly said. "Didn't he?" Eloise slowly turned. 

"I knew I was going to marry him, so we performed the act." 

"Eloise!" Penelope gasped. 

"Pen, you said you wanted children with my brother. You said you knew you were going to marry him. I knew I was going to marry Sir Phillip." Eloise tried to defend, but Penelope shook her head. 

"That is different, and you know it. I love your brother. Do you love Sir Phillip?" Penelope asked. 

"Love is not a factor at play here. I knew the moment I left home I was going to accept his marriage proposal. How is what you and Colin did any different to what Phillip and I did?" Eloise asked. It was a valid point, but Penelope could hardly believe what they were discussing. About Eloise. She had laid with a man. 

"It is not different, you are right. But I did not just lay with a stranger."

"Phillip is not a stranger. We have been in correspondences for nearly a year! I know him, and I know his children. They might be a rambunctious bunch, but they are managable. I can be happy." Eloise defended. 

"And I want you to be happy, but what if you will not be. Now, there might be a baby at play. You will be trapped, raising a child, and his children, with a man that makes you unhappy." Penelope replied, and the severity of how odd her union was hit her. 

"Marina ended her life for a reason unknown to me. She had always been so full of life, despite all she planned. Being married to Sir Phillip could have done that to her. Did you not think for a moment that could be the case?" Penelope asked. 

"She was unhappy with a man she did not love, and after the birth of her twins she never fully recovered. She went into a deep depressive state and then she drowned in a lake. Sir Phillip had nothing to do with her demise." Eloise defended. 

"Okay, that may be true, but you do not like children."

"I have grown to like his. And, if I am with child, I will love my baby. I know. I will raise Marina's children as my own." Eloise replied. 

"You will raise Marina's children, who was once betrothed to my husband, your brother, who is married to me, your best friend, who is the cousin of Marina, who was once married to your now bethrothed?" 

"That is certainly a web I have entangled us in, but yes. Phillip loves his children, even though they are his brother's. I will love them, even though they are Marina's." Eloise replied. 

"You are certain this is what you want?" Penelope asked after a deep sigh. 

"Yes, Penelope. This is what I want. I can grow to love him." Eloise said. 

"Okay then." Penelope said. 

"Okay, I just wished to inform you. I had to tell someone." 

"You did not tell me anything. I told you of what you did." Penelope said. 

"Yes, that is true. I suppose that is a loophole. You never promised not to tell Colin." Eloise replied. 

"That is also true." Penelope sighed. 

"So, you will not tell him?" Eloise asked. She tried convincing herself that the issue would be solved in two weeks. Perhaps she could keep this a secret from Colin, just this one secret. 

"I will not tell him. I will say we spoke of the wedding." Penelope sighed, guilt building up in her chest. 

_

As Colin and Penelope settled into bed, Colin could tell that since meeting with Eloise, Penelope had seen tensed, like she was trying her best to avoid his gaze. But in their bedchamber, she could teybsd much as he wanted, but he would make her look at him.

"Pen?" He asked as she read a book. 

"Yes?" She asked, her eyes still trailing the words. 

"Are you alright?" He asked. 

"Mmmm." She replied, and he did not like this one bit. Her conversation with Eloise lead to her awkward one word answers. 

"Pen?" 

"Yes, Colin?" She asked him. Two words. That was progress. 

"What did you and Eloise talk about?" Her eyes stopped following the words on the page, and she sighed. 

"Just some things." She shrugged. 

"Okay, I believe you." He did not, but chose not to push her. Instead, he lowered himself in bed and pulled the blankets over his shoulders, his face facing her. He heard the thud of her book closing and a troubling sigh escape her lips. 

"She asked me not to tell you, and I told her I could not keep anything from you, and so I agreed not to tell you but this is extremely difficult. I do not wish to keep anything from you." He heard his wife, and then he shifted in bed to face her. She was looking down at him, as his head titled upwards to meet her gaze. 

"Does it involve Sir Phillip?" Penelope nodded her head after he spoke. 

"Okay, then I might have an idea of what she told you, and that is why she chose to marry him sooner rather than later." Colin said. 

"You.. you have an idea?" She asked. 

"Yes, and I might not like where this is going. She is still my sister, but she is marrying him so it will seem like conception was done on their wedding night." Colin replied. 

"You are not mad?" Penelope asked. 

"I wish to break Sir Phillip's bones, yes. He compromised my sister. But I cannot march there and demand he undo what has already been done. And, he is marrying her. She will not be ruined." Colin replied. 

"That is what I have been trying to convince myself as well, but what if she is unhappy? If there is a child involved, she will be trapped." Penelope replied. 

"That is her decision to make." Colin said. 

"That is true." Penelope said, and he could sense the uncertainty in her voice. 

"Hey, my wife." He placed his hand on her thigh. "Do not worry about Eloise. She is grown, and made this decision for herself. If she thinks she will be happy, then we let her be." Colin said, softly squeezing her. 

"Okay, I trust she has made a good decision then."

Chapter Text

Some months had passed, four to be exact, and Penelope was two more months shy from giving birth. Eloise had been married off and also discovered that she was indeed, with child. She sent constant updates regarding her life as Lady Crane, a title once owned by her late cousin, Marina. 

Colin was the ever doting husband, treating her as fragile as glass who would shatter at any given moment. She found it endearing first, but grew rather tired of him treating her like she was meant to wrapped up and safely stored away. After a much needed conversation with Colin, he agreed to act as normal as he possibly could. 

"Do I truly need to be assisted every time I stand up or sit down?" Penelope asked as she stood up from the sofa in the drawing room. Colin's hand holding on her elbows. 

"Yes, dear wife. I will not allow you to strain your ankles. You are already carrying our daughter." Colin replied. 

"Is he also like this?" Lady Danbury asked. They had decided to host Sunday Tea in Colin and Penelope's home. Word had reached them that Portia had arrived, and Penelope wanted to hug her mother very tightly. 

"Yes, he is. You should have witnessed him in the beginning."

"If he was anything like his father, I assume you had a very detailed discussion about how fragile he has been treating you?" Violet asked, and Penelope gasped. She finally stood straight up. 

"Yes, I did!" Penelope replied. 

"In my defense, my wife is pregnant. I must ensure she is well taken cared of." Colin replied. 

"Did the butler not say my mother is here? What is the holdup? I have not seen her since Philippa stole her from me a two weeks ago." Penelope said. 

"Your sister stole your mother?" Colin smiled with amusement.

"Yes, by going into false labor. Mama was so worried about Philippa, as was I, but now that Philippa is alright and she had her baby, little Portia Finch, by the way, I need my mother as well!" Penelope exclaimed. 

"I do hope Prudence does not decide to go into labor soon. She is expected to give birth in a few weeks." Colin suggestively said. 

"Then I will not see her for some more time, so she must spend some time with me now, until Prudence and Harry's child arrive." Penelope replied. 

"Let me go and see what is taking your mother so long." Colin said, making his way to the entrance of their house. 

"So, how did you celebrate your birthday this week?" Violet asked. 

"It was a day like any other, only now I am four and twenty. The only thing differently we did was decide on baby names. Chaos errupted. He wants to name our daughter Imelda. I have no issue with this name, but I had to convince him that it was not a name I had envisioned for any of my daughters." Penelope replied. 

"And what names did you have in mind?" Agatha asked. 

"Now that, you will only know once this baby is born." Penelope said as Colin made his way back into the drawing room. 

"Pen, your mother is somewhat occupied." He said, a little out of breath. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean, Lord Ellsworth is on our doorstep, and he is on one knee!" Penelope gasped. 

"You are joking!"

"I am not!" 

"Lord Ellsworth? As in the man she courted before your wedding? That one?" Agatha asked. 

"That is him." 

"And he is on one knee?" Violet asked. 

"Yes." 

"Well, do you wait here for her to come to us or do we go and see this for ourselves?" Penelope said. 

"Let us give them a minute of privacy." Colin suggested, much to Penelope's dislike. 

"Fine." She sulked. 

_

A few minutes had gone by, and as the four of them settled into silence, patiently awaiting Portia, they sat around the table with various snacks and pastries and piping hot tea. 

Portia entered, and all eyes fell on her. 

"What?" Portia asked. 

"Nothing, mama. You took forever to come." Penelope replied. 

"Forgive me." Portia leaned down and kissed her daughter's forehead. "I got some news I would like to share."

"Really?" Agatha asked. 

"Yes, really." Portia said as she sat down. "Do you all remember Lord Ellsworth?" Portia asked, and the rest of them acted as they could not remember. 

"I am not familiar with him." Agatha said. 

"Slipped my mind." Violet added. 

"Haven't the slightest clue." Colin interjected. 

"Is he an old friend of yours? Have I met him?" Penelope asked. 

"Oh, you all are insufferable! We courted last year!" 

"Oh, him!" Violet laughed. 

"Now it is coming together." Agatha replied. 

"Yes mama, we remember. Why do you ask?" Penelope asked. 

"Well, he just proposed to me, and I accepted his proposal." Portia shrugged, and the table roared with congratulations. Portia smiled as Penelope side hugged her. 

"Thank you all, and he also informed me that his youngest daughter, Miss Hannah has moved to Scotland. She found a match abroad." Penelope sighed with relief. 

"That is good to hear." She added. 

"So I will not have to bump into her in his ancestral home in Gloucestershire." Realisation struck her. 

"You will be moving to Gloucestershire?" Penelope asked, her smile faded. 

"Yes, my dear. That is where he stays." 

"Why can he not come live here?" Penelope asked. 

"Because it does not work that way, Penelope." Portia added. 

"But, your daughters are here, your grandchildren are here. You have not even met mine and Colin's child yet. You cannot move." Penelope said, sternly. 

"Penelo-"

"No! You cannot!" 

"Then I fear you might not like what I might say next." Penelope scoffed at her mother's words. 

"There is more?" 

"We plan to marry at the end of the month, and then we will board a ship to Denmark. He has a sister there, and he wants me to meet her." 

"You will not be here for the birth of our child?" Penelope asked, innocently, softly, hurt. 

"He did not say when we might be off to Denmark, but I will convince him we must leave after your baby is born. I will not miss the birth of my grandchild, Penelope." Portia replied. 

"Are you sure?" Penelope asked, tears lacing her eyes. 

"Yes, my girl. I will be there, no matter what."

__

Later that night, Colin thought of ways to cheer his up. The thought of Portia moving to Gloucestershire and visiting Denmark shortly after her wedding really upset her, so much so that she did not want her mother to leave. She insisted her mother stay the night, but Portia left instead. She said she did not want to intrude on his and Penelope's time. Colin respected that, but he would have readied a room himself for his mother-in-law. 

He got the idea from Hyacinth herself, how he would ease her pain, so when he went to their bedchambers and saw Penelope sitting by her desk, writing a letter to Eloise, she grabbed her robe and stood before her. Everything had already been set up, thanks to the help of Rae. 

"Colin, do you want me to put this on?" She asked, placing the quill on the desk. 

"Yes." He replied, short and simply.

"But why?"

"So you might not catch a cold from the breeze outside." He shrugged, and then he assisted her up. 

"We are going outside? At this hour?" She chuckled. 

"Yes." 

"Your answers are very vague. I do not like this one bit." Penelope replied as he helped her with her robe. 

"You will. Now come." He said, and she closed the ink pot before her held her hand and lead her outside. 

"Why on earth is there a blanket placed outside? Are those pillows I see? Colin, what if the grass is wet?" She asked. 

"You talk far too much, wife. Just stay in the moment with me, will you?" She asked, his thumbs grazing over her knuckles. 

"Of course." She smiled. He lead her to the blanket, helping her sit first. 

"So, what will we be doing?" She asked, and then he watched her follow his lead. Their heads settled on the pillow, and the only place too look was up, or at her beautiful face. 

"Stargazing." He softly said, and then watched her look at the sky. 

"Why have we never done this before? It is beautiful!" Colin smiled at her, taking in her side profile. The way her hair fell against the pillow, the dazzle in her eyes, her small curve on her lips. 

"And yet, only half as beautiful as you." He replied, and then she tilted her head to face him. 

"You are not even look at the stars, Colin." 

"I do not need to. Nothing in the universe compares to you, my Pen." Colin replied, and although the sky was dark, lit up by the stars, he could still see her blush deeply. 

"Colin, that is rather sweet. Thank you." 

"I hope you are prepared for a lifetime of comments such as these. I have them all stored away." 

"I am excited to see how creative you can be, husband." She giggled. 

"Have you reconsidered Imelda?" Colin asked, and she scrunched her nose. 

"You are fixed on that name. I do wonder why." Penelope said. 

"It means warrior, and I think it's very fitting for our baby girl." Colin replied. 

"Why do you think so?"