Chapter Text
When they got called into the CEO’s office together, San didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t this. Various possibilities crossed his mind, but he would have never guessed Kim Kyuwook would ask him and Wooyoung to play in a Boys Love series together.
“The script writer and director, Ahn Jihee, thought of you two for the role,” their CEO Kyuwook explains.
“Me?” Wooyoung asks, surprised. “I’m a terrible actor.”
San immediately turns his head and pats Wooyoung’s thigh. “Hey, don’t say that! You are a good actor.”
“Thanks, but I’m not.”
“Yes, you are,” San says in a deep voice filled with determination, turning his whole body towards his best friend. “Remember our Diary Film? Everyone loved it! And your Artist of the Month cover or your Logic performance? Your facial expressions and ability to convey emotions through dance is also a form of acting.”
Although there is still a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, Wooyoung smiles shyly at the compliment.
“Anyway.” Kyuwook clears his throat to get their attention again. “I talked it over with the management team and they think it could be a good opportunity. If you guys are interested.”
Of course he is. Ever since he worked on the show Imitation, San has expressed his love for acting multiple times. Playing a lead role alongside Wooyoung, someone who he trusts wholeheartedly, sounds like a dream. But as the unexpected yet amazing news slowly trickles in, worrisome thoughts occur. How would their fans react to them playing in a gay romance series? How would the people, especially his family, in Namhae, react to this?
Having read multiple homophobic comments about certain Ateez members or about his friendship with Wooyoung, San questions, “What about the backlash it could create?”
The CEO nods in understanding and leans back in his swivel office chair. “We’ve certainly discussed this at length. There will be quite a lot of outrage, especially from some conservative fans. But most fans will eat it up! Besides, we believe this could give Ateez the boost we need in Southeast Asia, as well as domestically. Not only are you two of the most popular members, but your ship is also the most popular.”
This is not news to San. He has seen and heard the excitement about their Woosan ship. Amongst the homophobic and mean comments are an overwhelming number of positive comments.
As trainees, he and Wooyoung became naturally close. The group didn’t like having another new trainee join them when they were so close to debut, but with Wooyoung’s dedication and positive attitude, it didn’t take long for all the members to accept him. And soon after, love and cherish him for helping to create a stronger bond as a team.
Although San also was reluctant and weary to welcome another trainee, he immediately felt comfortable around Wooyoung. There was an instant connection that even San didn’t quite understand. In no time at all, they became very close friends who both loved skinship as an expression of love and comfort.
Before Ateez debuted, the company paired members up for promotions and fanservice. Seeing how close he and Wooyoung were already, the company used it to their advantage. Nowadays, as they’ve become a tight-knitted group, they still pair members up for certain projects, but they don’t force anything and let things flow in a natural manner.
“We think it could help the group to rise to the next level. Increase your popularity in Asia as we still lack there in comparison to other continents. Even the negative reactions will help create more heat for this project. However…” Kyuwook pauses as he sits up in his chair and looks back and forth between them with a serious expression. “Take a moment to think about this offer. Is this something you want to do and think you can handle? We already talked with Hongjoong but discuss this with the rest of the group. Then, if you decide to accept the offer, we’ll talk with the director and producers of the series.”
“What do you think?” Wooyoung asks him the minute they step out of the office.
San’s initial reaction was one of pure excitement before several thoughts weakened this. He still wants to do it but can’t help but worry. Wooyoung throws an arm around his shoulder, as a way to support him, and a genuine smile appears.
“I think it’s a great opportunity,” he replies belatedly. “But we should talk with the other members first though, see what they think. What about you?”
“I really love the idea, but I don’t know if I can do it. What if my acting sucks and people will criticize my performance?”
San stops dead in his tracks and his smile fades. He stressed about potential negative reactions from fans or family members, while Wooyoung is concerned about his own acting abilities. People assume Wooyoung is a carefree person, but he cares. Cares a lot about what other people think and always wants to do well and please everyone.
Turning around, he grabs Wooyoung’s shoulders and stares into his warm yet anxious eyes. “I know for a fact that your acting won’t suck. If you put your mind to something, you can do anything. Besides, we are doing this together. We can help each other.”
Wooyoung’s frown lessens and his joyful smile reappears. He wraps his arms around San in a firm embrace and whispers, “Thank you love.”
Seonghwa inhales a sharp breath, Mingi’s mouth is slightly agape, Yeosang looks dumbfounded, and Yunho and Jongho snicker. A few seconds after their initial reactions, chaos ensues in San’s shared apartment. They all start to laugh, chatter loudly, and make kissing sounds next to Wooyoung’s and San’s heads. Hongjoong is the only one who remains unruffled, stays calmly seated on the couch with his eyes glued on his phone. He already knew about this bl project while the rest didn’t have a clue.
As the chaos dies down after several long minutes, Mingi pouts and slumps back in his seat. “I want to act in a bl with Yunho.”
Yunho giggles and blushes even more, hiding his face between his hands.
“They would never let Yunho act in a bl,” Jongho states in a serious voice as he sits back down next to Hongjoong. “He has already acted as a K-drama main lead.”
Wooyoung tilts his head. “What does that have to do with it?”
“Well… Yunho is our poster boy for the ideal boyfriend. He has to keep that image.”
“Preserve that fantasy,” Hongjoong adds with a nod without looking away from his phone.
“Am I not the boyfriend they want?”
Jongho’s analytical gaze travels up and down Wooyoung’s body and face before he shakes his head. “Honestly? Most of them want you as their bestie.”
Wooyoung makes a loud-pfft sound and San—who has been quietly listening in on the conversation—immediately puts a comforting hand on his thigh. He doesn’t understand why most fans don’t see him as boyfriend-material; Wooyoung would be the perfect boyfriend. Not only is he very attractive with sharp and unique facial features, he is also witty and smart, charming and self-effacing. Athletic, fashionable, and great with kids. Loves to cook and clean and take care of others. An incredibly soft-hearted soul yet protective of those he loves. And he hasn’t even mentioned all his talents as an idol and performer. He would be the perfect boyfriend for girls, if he wasn’t gay.
“And San is the intimidating bad boy nobody dares to bring home to their parents,” Seonghwa says, joining the conversation once his shock subsided.
“The company wants him to stay unattainable yet desirable,” Hongjoong says. “And this project makes the fans want him even more.”
“Huh?” San asks, confused. “Where is the logic in that?”
Yeosang shrugs. “I have no idea.”
“San would probably play a role that fits the tough yet protective boyfriend every girl wants,” Seonghwa explains.
“Not every girl,” Hongjoong interjects.
“Of course not every girl, but we all get what hyung was trying to say,” Jongho says.
San looks around at his members as they continue to talk about their personal images. Both the ones the company initially created for them, plus their own real personalities that continue to shine more as the years go by. He knows that most fans would be ecstatic to see him and Wooyoung in a bl, but he also knows that it will create some backlash from certain fans. The CEO has already warned them about this. Although San and Wooyoung would get the majority of the hate comments, the whole group will be affected.
“How do you guys feel about this?” San asks. On instinct, his eyes go to Seonghwa. Aside from Wooyoung, he is the closest to his oldest hyung. He cares a lot about his opinions and knows how he can worry about a lot of things. One of those things is when members show too much skinship—with or without the presence of atiny. He enjoys having his own space and only craves hugs and other touches when he is feeling more emotional. His love languages are definitely more acts of services and words of affirmation. He will always listen attentively and try to comfort you.
If San and Wooyoung would play in a bl series together, they will go much further with the skinship.
Seonghwa looks back at him and smiles. “I think it’s a great opportunity for you and Wooyoung.”
“Aside from being jealous,” Mingi states, “I’m fine.”
Everyone expresses things along the lines of ‘it’s okay’. They are all happy for them and don’t seem to mind the possible negative consequences.
“But,” Seonghwa adds, his thick eyebrows lower in concern. “Fans will go bananas when they hear about this. You will be under so much more scrutiny again.”
“You’ll get many more Woosan shippers or fans asking weird questions,” Yunho adds.
“We know,” San and Wooyoung say in unison. Kyuwook already warned them about some fans crossing the line. As much as it annoys him at times, he won’t let it stop him from going after this. Like Seonghwa said, it is a great opportunity for him to gain a new experience and to elevate his acting abilities. It will boost Ateez’s popularity, particularly in Southeast Asia. And last but not least, it’s an honor to share this adventure with his best friend, his platonic soulmate.
“Are you sure you are ready for this?”
“Of course,” San tells Yunho.
“What about rumors about your sexuality?”
San turns to Jongho, feeling frustration rise within his chest. He knows they mean well and are most likely just concerned. Not for Ateez as a group, but because they care for Wooyoung and San. And while he appreciates their concern, he can’t stand all the questions. The more they express their concern or ask them tough questions, the more worried San becomes. He doesn’t want to feel the internal conflict or start to doubt himself.
“Please,” Wooyoung scoffs. “Quite a lot of fans already know or think I’m gay. And those that don’t want to believe it, will still not believe it when I play a gay role.”
“Besides, there are plenty of straight idols and actors who have done bl over the years,” Mingi says, surprising San with his knowledge on this subject. Although at the same time, it shouldn’t surprise him. Mingi knows a lot about a variety of different things, some more niche than others. “It’s a way for them to get more famous. But you guys already are.”
“Wookie thinks it will help to expand our popularity in the Asian market,” Wooyoung says, using one of the many inappropriate but adorable nicknames he gave their CEO.
Hongjoong nods in agreement and finally looks up from his phone. “Yeah, I think it will. Especially with the ongoing rise of bl’s these last few years.”
“What is a bl exactly?” Yeosang asks all of a sudden. And everyone starts to laugh.
It’s a normal, hectic week for San, filled with group schedules and rehearsals. He doesn’t talk about the possible bl role, although it still crosses his mind from time to time. The few hours of free time which aren’t spent eating, sleeping, or working out, he does research on bl’s and watches a couple of Thai ones. Some of them are rather spicy; make him blush and feel caught like he watches something illegal. A similar feeling to when he was younger and watched Mirotic by TVXQ in his father’s office.
Next week they will have their first official meeting to discuss the series—if San or Wooyoung don’t decline the offer beforehand. But the more he thinks about it —also thanks to the approval of his members—the more he wants to do it.
They are currently rehearsing for an upcoming performance. Without having to speak or using hand gestures, he communicates with Wooyoung through subtle eye contact to playfully change their hand-choreography. Instead of intertwining their hands they are making a heart together as the song Eternal Sunshine fades out. Their eyes meet for a brief second and they smile widely. Being with Wooyoung is easy in the best way possible. They know each other through and through. Whenever they rehearse or perform on stage, they connect. It’s like they are made to be on stage together. San gets strength from the crowds, energy from a deep-rooted motivation within, joy from being surrounded by all the members, and a sense of grounding by being next to Wooyoung.
“Next up, Guerrilla Flag version,” Yunho announces, making sure everyone goes in the right formation. Same as during their trainee and debut times, Yunho leads the group during dance rehearsals. But after being a team together for over five years, they rarely need guidance anymore. They dance like a well-oiled machine. It’s not just San and Wooyoung, the whole group works together in much more harmony. It’s routine and trust.
Sometimes, it’s nice to get out of the routine to challenge yourself. This bl role could be that challenge for San.
San wipes the trickles of sweat from his temple and neck before he grabs a bottle of water and gulps it down in one go. Then, he slumps down on the cold ground of the practice room, splaying his arms and legs. Sighing loudly after a tiring rehearsal, Wooyoung lies down next to him and cuddles into his chest.
“Do you think we can manage our Ateez schedule and do a series?” Wooyoung questions, breath ragged with exhaustion. “I’m getting older you know.”
“Geez,” Hongjoong replies on hearing his complaint. “You are not getting older.”
“He is though,” Mingi joins in, crouching down and leaning against the large mirror. “I told him many times, live a steady and boring life instead. It’s better for your health.”
“How can we have such a life with our job?”
“Go to the sauna more,” is Mingi’s deadpan response.
Yunho leans forward with a mischievous expression on his face. “That might be good practice for your gay role!”
“Ha-ha,” Wooyoung laughs sarcastically, but his laugh turns to real laughter within seconds. He falls off San’s chest as his whole body convulses with laughter. His iconic laugh echoes around the practice room. It’s filled with joy, laughter that is highly contagious. It’s not melodic, but it sounds like music to San’s ears.