Actions

Work Header

Don’t You Wanna Know? What It Would Feel Like?

Summary:

Trevor knows he has to at least try to help Lin snap out of her murderous rampage, or he’ll never forgive himself. But, going after her is obviously dangerous and after some catastrophizing he decides he wants to try something first.
Takes place directly before X-Men Green 86-87.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“She escaped a month ago; who knows what destruction she could be causing now.” 

Roxy took another sip from her drink after she spoke. Her voice was muffled by the chatter of the nearby tables and stools. The Green Lagoon was always crowded in the early night hours.

She didn’t escape. Cypher let her out. I can tell by the perk in his brow and the quiver in his lip whenever someone brings her up. Pyro helped too, but he always has something he’s hiding.

“Did you guys hear she released Armageddon Man?” Pixie asked.

“Um- who?” Mark perked up at that.

“Some guy who can cause natural disasters and stuff,” Pixie waved her hand nonchalantly as she explained. “I’ve never heard of him before Lin released him. Apparently people have tried to use him before…” she switched to speaking in a sarcastically ominous tone “but that didn’t really work out for them.”

“Where the hell do you find a guy like that?” Mark asked.

“Government,” Loa chimed in before going back to sipping on her straw.

“Yup,” continued Pixie, “she just grabbed him from one of their facilities. He’s one of the guys they keep in suspended animation and everything.”

“Damn,” joined Roxy. “I never expected her to be so dangerous, out of all people, you know?”

“Yeah…” I added.

But I did expect it. I should have seen it coming. Even years ago, back at the institute, when Lin attacked me under the Rat King’s command I could tell she was on the edge between control and complete rabid lunacy. The animal in Lin so easily came out with so little coercion.

“She’s not alone either,” Pixie said, as if she was about to present the twist of the century. “She even got Sauron on her side!”

“Ugh that guy gives me the creeps,” Roxy cringed.

“Tell me about it,” Iara groaned.

She had just sat down at the bar next to our table. Swinging her stool to face us, she continued:

“Remember when he tried to make me his shark queen? Like, I was a child too!”

“Gross,” Mark exclaimed, dragging out the “o.”

Roxy nodded in agreement and Loa made a face.

“You were there too Trevor, remember that?” Iara turned her attention to me.

“Course I remember that, I thought you betrayed us for a second there,” I forced out a laugh.

“For a guy like that? Please.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s so… weird .”

“Not as weird as Curse,” Pixie declared.

“Yeah, an interesting group Lin got together,” Roxy replied. “Can’t believe I used to room with her… How do you know all this stuff anyway, Pix?”

“Well, it’s important to stay informed on current events.” Pixie put on her fake fancy voice. “Isn’t that right mister ‘reporter for the Grey School Gazette’?” She nudged me with her elbow.

“Heh, yeah,” I smiled.

They’re trying to include me. Albeit awkwardly, but they’re trying.

It was getting difficult to pay attention. Lin’s out somewhere in the world with a group of dangerous people who see her as their ringleader. It kind of freaked me out. She always seemed nice enough, but I felt there was a lot of rage and blame underneath that. I didn’t need my powers to know this, her feelings were clear to anyone who knew her well (which was still only me). She kept most of that anger bottled up, it was inevitable she would pop one day. What stumped me was what caused her to finally snap. What was the catalyst?

“Who’s Curse?” asked Iara.

“She can basically jinx people,” Pixie explained. “I’ve met her before, you have to be careful around her. She can make you do whatever she says.”

Whatever she says?

I’m reminded of Lin and I in the sewers with the Rat King. She quickly gave in to his control with no fight. Lin, my best friend, turned the sewer’s animals against me. She confessed she told the birds to peck my eyes out.

Lin is already a vulnerable target with all the pain she feels from the Earth each day. She told me how the leaves, insects, and the whole planet scream to her. All their agony is caused by humans and mutants alike, and Lin can never ignore it. The planet’s suffering fermenting inside her makes her a ticking time bomb. It only takes a little convincing for her to explode. Maybe if Curse knew this…? Maybe if she knew she could use Lin? If Lin isn’t the true leader at all…?

“Hey, Trev?” Roxy whispered. “You okay?”

“Yeah, of course!” I replied, a smile plastered across my face.

“K,” She stated bluntly. “I’m gonna head out. I don’t know when you’re planning on leaving but we could walk together?”

A clear invitation.

“Alright, I’ll come.”

“Hey,” Roxy said to the rest of the table. “Me and Trevor are leaving. See you guys later.”

“Night, guys!” Loa waved.

The rest of the group chimed in as we said our goodbyes. Roxy led us out of the crowded bar. Outside of the tight walkways and loud conversations was peaceful. Krakoan nights were warm and dark, a nice change in pace for my overstimulated eyes.

“Trevor,” Roxy started “I’m sorry about Lin. I know she was your friend and this must be hard with her… you know.”

Roxy doesn’t like serious conversations. Her jaw gets tight and she only looks at one spot on the ground, never at my eyes.

“Thanks,” I said.

The taller girl draped her arm across my shoulders as we walked. I appreciated the effort she put into me; I’m not used to it.

“Seriously, thanks.”

She squeezed my shoulder with her crystal fingers. The quiet night seized our conversation for a moment. 

“I think I can help her,” I whispered, interrupting the silence.

“Trevor, don't,” Roxy looked at me. “She’s dangerous and she won’t react well to you, I’m sure of it.”

“That’s because she’s not herself!”

Roxy let the arm on my shoulder fall to her side.
“Exactly! That’s why she’s dangerous. We can’t predict her. Please, please don’t try to find her.”

“But I’m the person who knows her best! I’m the only one who can help.”

“What if she attacks you, Trevor? You can’t defend yourself against her. Or worse, she could put one of her goons on you and even if you could reason with her, which you can’t, you definitely can't reason with them.”

She doesn’t get it.

“You said we can’t predict her but I can!” I was talking too fast to breathe. “I know what people are going to do and I’m sure I know why she’s doing this. I’m the only one who knows. I have to help her!”

I have to save her from Curse.

“Trevor, please .”

We’re stopped at a fork in the path, where we are supposed to split.

“Promise me-” Roxy asked, grabbing my shoulders to face me, “promise me you won’t go after her.”

“I-” I’m reluctant.

What do I say?

“I promise,” I said to please her.

Roxy pulled me into a hug.

“You can talk to me if you need to,” She offered. “I care about you, dude.”

“Love you too, Rox.”

She pulled away and playfully punched my arm. It wouldn’t hurt if she had human skin.

“Goodnight,” She turned towards her side of the path.

“Night,” I called after her.

She doesn’t get it.

I began my walk to the Boneyard. It’s too early to sleep but I didn’t expect to fall asleep anyway. I would probably end up staying awake all night again, despite how tired I am. It takes a lot of energy to portray yourself as the upbeat relaxed guy when that isn’t accurate most of the time. I can drop the facade a little around Roxy since she’s known me so long but it’s a lot to live up to the cheerful expectation for everyone else, especially with Lin missing. I know I need to find her or I don’t think I could focus on anything else. I miss her too much to entertain any other thoughts.

As much as I don’t want to admit it, Roxy was right. Confronting Lin would be dangerous. Honestly, death is one of the best-case scenarios. At least in that case I could be resurrected and forget the whole thing. On the other hand, I could be captured and held hostage. Or injured and in pain for days, weeks, months , however long I can stay alive. Or they could force me into being an accomplice. Turn everyone against me. Or they could kill me and hide my body. I won’t be resurrected until I’m found. What if no one ever finds me? They could trap me somewhere. I’d be presumed dead. What if I was resurrected anyway? Then a second version of me lives my life while I am missing. No, X-Factor would never let that happen, that’s our job. But what if they do it anyway…

God, I need a distraction. Roxy helped calm me down before, which I appreciated. But, if I go back to her she may be suspicious since she knows I want to find Lin. I need to go to someone else. Mark, Loa, Pixie, and Iara are probably still at the Green Lagoon so I don’t want to bother them. I haven’t known anyone at the Boneyard for very long so they might be weirded out if I went to them. Aurora is always very comforting… but she’s probably with Daken. David is definitely my best friend on the team… but he’s probably with Tommy. It must be nice to have a partner you can go to whenever. I wish I had someone like that. 

I’ve never experienced a romantic relationship before, especially after my mutation. Sure, I’ve kissed people, but nothing deeper. It’s not that I don’t want a partner, but when all the other students at the institute found new ways to call me ugly every week, it was easy to see that no one wanted me that way. If anyone did, I think I would remember…

 


 

It’s nights like these when I’m glad I asked Krakoa for a more secluded home. I can faintly hear my rowdy neighbors through my open windows so I can’t imagine how loud it would be if I was closer to the main cluster of pods. I enjoy quiet nights alone to unwind after the day. Tonight was no different and I was prepared to crawl into bed and doom scroll until I passed out. I laid on the mattress, relishing the tropical breeze passing through my one-room studio. A knock on my door startled me and I groaned. I grabbed my glasses from my nightstand and I reluctantly tip-toed across the room to answer. I opened the door to reveal my friend, Trevor, on the other side. The soft light from the rest of the pod neighborhood peaked through the trees, backlighting him and highlighting the silhouette of his goofy bucket hat.

“Hey… what can-”

“You like me.”

“Huh?” I was surprised.

“I can tell you like me. I could see you in your body language since we were at the institute,” he sounded so serious.

“And I thought I was being subtle…” I laughed softly, trying to soften the mood and ignore how embarrassed I was.

“Hey, it’s not your fault I can see everything,” he replied in a more playful tone.

“Well, what about it?” I tried to appear more relaxed.

“Well…” he was planning what to say next. “I want to do something about that.”

“About the fact that I like you?”

“Yeah, maybe explore that a bit,” his eyes flicked away from me.

“Really?” my own eyes grew wide.

He nodded.

“Wuh- well, what do you want to do, exactly?” I asked.

I probably sound pathetic.

“Whatever you’re willing to give me,” his gaze finally met mine.

Jesus.

He stepped closer, not breaking eye contact. I realized I forgot to breathe. Then I’m focusing on catching my breath without looking entirely stupid and now that’s all I’m thinking about as he’s standing in front of me. I feel like I’m going to hyperventilate just watching him. He probably saw my heart about to rip itself out of my chest and took my hand; suddenly I knew what he needed me to do. I pulled him into the pod, shutting the door behind us with my free hand. I didn’t even check to see his reaction before I kissed him. He wrapped one arm around my neck, then let go of my hand to do the same with the other arm. I used this opportunity to grab his waist and drag him closer. I was about to pull away to see if this was all okay, but Trevor held the back of my neck and kept me close; so we kept kissing. I could taste the remnants of a Green Lagoon mocktail on his lips.

Eventually, I had to breathe, so I broke away from him. I kept our faces close and scanned his expression to see his reaction. Nearly all his eyes were fixed on me, which was rare for him.

“Can we keep going?” he whispered, his finger twirling a curl on my nape.

My head bobbed in a slight nod as I was already leaning back in. We kissed again, a bit rougher than the first time. He was pulling me into him so forcefully it was like he was trying to absorb me. The weight of his arms dragged me down until I was reaching up to kiss him, my neck fighting against the force to keep us connected. I released my grasp on his waist to drag my hands under his shirt. I gently ran my fingers over his eyelids and lashes. Suddenly, he broke his grip from my neck and began to roll up his shirt up to his arms. He only momentarily interrupted the kiss to tear off his shirt, discarding the fabric and his hat to the floor. I was entranced by the eyes that covered his torso. Each sparkled in the light peeking through the window panes.

“Are you gonna take yours off too or…?”

“Ah- sorry. I was distracted,” I tried to make a save.

Stupid.

I threw my own shirt over my head and laid my glasses on the table by the door. The breeze made my skin crawl but before I had time to shiver Trevor grabbed my hands. My subsequent blushing heated up my cheeks, shoulders, and stomach. He pulled me over to the bed and let himself fall onto the mattress. I stumbled after him. He had placed our hands over his head, leaving me to teeter over him. When he released his grip I shuffled my hands to either side of his head for stability. I reached down to kiss him again and he eagerly accepted it. I adjusted myself to lay on one forearm, allowing myself to be closer to him. My other hand cupped his face; my fingers slipped into the hair behind his ear while my thumb held his cheek. His fingers grazed my back and shocks of electricity shot up my spine. He laid his palm flat against my skin and the tingling continued. He weighed me down, pressing me closer. There was a sort of desperation in me I hadn't noticed until this very moment. I needed him.

I abruptly ceased our kiss and Trevor’s eyes fluttered open to observe me. I kissed the corner of his lips, then his cheek, and settled on his neck. I ran my hand down from his cheek to hold the opposite side of his neck. The sweet scent of the strawberry shampoo in his hair was intoxicating. I wanted to know all his secrets: familiarize myself with his smell, where his moles were, the taste of his skin, the feeling of his eyes… What he typically obscured with his layers, hoods, and hats. I wanted to memorize it all so I never forget how good he feels. 

I shifted closer to the back of his neck, pressing my lips against his jaw, tilting his head to the side. He interlocked his hands on my upper back, holding me close. I began moving downward, kissing in between his eyes as I went. I pressed kisses to his collarbone, then moved to his chest, then under his pectoral, his ribs. I could feel toned muscle under his soft skin, making my head spin. I moved too far down for Trevor to keep holding me, so he let his hands rest to his sides as I worked. My own hand still held his shoulder. I lifted myself from his midriff to slide my hand down to my level. I watched his eyes shut when my hand came close, and open again after it passed. I’d never seen that before. I planted my hand on the side of his hips, mirroring the other hand. I went back to kissing his stomach, occasionally planting gentle kisses against his eyelids. My forehead was pressed to his skin. I felt his nimble fingers slide through my hair from the front to the crown, holding back my bangs. I looked up at him through my brow as I continued.

“Tickles.”

I grinned, now smiling into each kiss I gave him. I finished at the waistband of his boxers which peaked out above his shorts. The shorts were loose on his frame, resulting in the exposed underwear. You would never know if he had his shirt on, which concealed his waist.

Another secret.

I had been on my knees but I was too far down the bed to continue in that position, so I stood up on the floor and leaned over the mattress. As I did this, Trevor released his hand from my hair. I held either side of his waist with my hands and leaned down to kiss his inner thigh. His skin was so soft here. 

“Do you mind if I uh… bite and stuff?”

“Yes- as in- I mean- no, I don’t mind. Yes, I want you to”

I opened my mouth further to intensify the kiss, even sucking the surface. I felt him squirm at the unexpected touch and I stopped to look at his face. His cheeks and neck were beet red.

“Wuh- why did you stop?” his voice had a slight but noticeable quiver to it.

He’s trying to play it cool.

“I can keep going?”

“Please?”

With newfound confidence I resumed kissing his thigh. I lowered my body closer to the mattress, tilting my head and back with each kiss, kissing him with my whole body. I felt his leg raise upward as he rested his inner knee on my shoulder. I hooked my arm under his thigh and pulled it closer with my hand. Now that his leg was elevated, Trevor’s shorts fell further towards the mattress to expose more of his sensitive skin. I leisurely began to move down his leg, dedicating time to each spot, leaving a few bitemarks and bruises as I went. I settled on an area maybe two or three inches from his crotch and kissed him intensely. I felt tension build in his back and core as he pressed his head deep into the mattress. I traced my fingers down the outside of his thigh and held him closer to his pelvis. If my hair tickled him before, it was definitely worse now. As I kissed, Trevor would occasionally jolt or fidget. It was kind of nice being reminded that he was there and he felt every little thing I did to him.

“Come back up here. I miss you” I heard him call after a while.

I gently set his leg down on the bed and crawled back up to his head. I was careful not to plant my palms on his hair which was spread across the sheets. He reached up to cradle either side of my face with his hands and I leaned in to kiss him. As we kissed he slipped one of his hands down to rest on my chest. He set the other hand on the mattress. This kiss was sweeter, more innocent and gentle but I could still feel the passion in his movement.

Suddenly, Trevor moved his hand from my chest to my shoulder and pressed hard . He pushed me onto my back and quickly adjusted to straddle my hips.

“You tricked me! It was a trap!” I laughed.

I pushed my body backwards so my back rested on the headboard, in an attempt to escape. He leaned onto his hands and knees and hummed into my collarbone, making my skin buzz. I was immediately thwarted with his touch. He sporadically kissed the moles and freckles on my chest and collar, leaving prickling sparks of warmth on my skin wherever he went. As he kissed he gradually lowered himself closer to me. Strands of his long hair fell onto my skin. He balanced himself on one hand and dragged the other through his hair, pulling the rogue locks out of his way. The drawstring of his shorts lightly grazed my abdomen, reminding me just how close he was. He continued kissing up my torso to my neck as he kneeled on either side of my legs. I firmly grasped the underside of his thighs and dragged him closer to me until his stomach was against my chest. Now, instead of leaning over my entire body, he was directly above me. He quickly got used to the orientation, easing into a sitting position.

He placed one hand on the back of my neck and the other on the bed frame behind me. First, he bit my neck gently, but progressively bit harder with more confidence. He held the back of my neck close as he sucked on my skin. He was scratching an itch I didn't know I had. My mind was clouded by pleasure, but when I first felt his tongue my senses heightened. I could feel the bulbous eye in the center of his tongue against me. He dragged his tongue further up my neck before settling on his new spot. He began sucking the new patch of skin, tilting his head to the side. His hair slid off his back, following the tilt to hang over my shoulder. 

I brought one hand up from his thigh to tuck his hair back into place. Gathering the loose hair in my fingers, I dragged my hand across his shoulder and back. I twirled my wrist so his hair would wrap around my fist. I pulled back on his hair. I didn’t use enough force to actually yank him backwards, especially if he resisted. Yet, he released himself from my neck and slid both hands to rest on my chest. His head was cocked upward, exposing the underside of his jaw and more of his neck. I admired the fresh marks I left on his flesh earlier. He looked down at me through slanted eyes, waiting. I unclenched my fist and he adjusted his head to more easily face me. Both of my palms pressed to his cheeks and I dragged him down to my level. I leaned in to kiss him and he did the same. 

He kissed me hard, forcing my head against the headboard. Noticing this, he grabbed the back of my head to keep me steady. I tried to give him the same amount of force to balance us out. I adjusted my grasp so I was holding his waist. He was sitting back on his thighs but I pulled him up into a kneeling position. The unexpected height difference caused us to break the kiss. Trevor took a fistful of my hair where his hand laid and forced my head back. I faced him towering over me. The warm artificial light pouring through the windows highlighted his features, adding a glow to his cupid’s bow and the outward curve of his nose. His flyaway hairs caught and reflected the light, creating a halo effect. 

How did I get so lucky?

He leaned down to connect our lips once again. I began rubbing my hands over his waist, feeling his lashes between my fingers. I snaked down his waist until my hands burrowed under the elastic band of his boxers. His breath hitched against my mouth. 

“Is this okay… if I go further?”

“Yeah, yes.”

I massaged circles into his joints and he melted against me. We continued making out as I explored him. I lost track of time.

“You okay?” he whispered between kisses.

“Hmm?”

“You seem tired,” he fully pulled away.

“I may or may not have taken melatonin before this.”

“Pfft- okay maybe we should stop.”

He pressed one last kiss to my lips before sitting beside me on the bed. I was disappointed that he stopped but a little glad I could fully take in his beauty now that he wasn’t up against me.

“Can you stay tonight?” I asked him, my gaze still tracing his features.

“Sure.”

I laid down on the bed and beckoned him towards me. He slid in next to me, situating his head under my chin. The room was already dark and his warm breath against my chest made it easy to grow drowsy. 

“Hey, Trev?” 

“Yeah.”

“Why did you decide to do this now? I mean, you knew I liked you for years.”

“Well, I knew you thought I was attractive but I wasn’t sure if you actually wanted to do anything with me. I didn’t want to risk our friendship. But, I guess I got fed up with waiting around. I mean, I’m eighteen and I’ve never done anything like this before. We live risky lives and- I didn’t want to miss out on this.”

“I get that,” I whispered to him, brushing his hair behind his ear and rubbing his cheek with my thumb.

“Are you mad I waited this long?”

“Of course not! I could’ve made a move anytime but I was also scared of what I could lose.”

“But, I knew you liked me and I still-”

I circled my arms around his head and smushed his face into my chest to shut him up.

“I don’t care, Trev.”

“Okay, okay,” his laugh was muffled by my skin as he wriggled out of my grasp. “I get it.”

“Good,” I kissed him between his brows.

 


 

I woke up to a body shuffling beside me. I was clinging to Trevor’s torso, my arms tightly wrapped around him; fingers knotted in his hair. His arms were laid over my shoulders. His leg was bent and hugging my hip. He turned over to his back, removing his leg and arms. I immediately longed for his warmth.

“Trev-” I whispered, eyelids still heavy with sleep.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Always so sweet…”

He slowly sat up and I groggily followed, supporting myself with my arms. I used one hand to hold his face and direct it towards me. I kissed him gently, but he did not accept it as graciously as he had hours prior; giving me little reciprocity.

“It’s still dark outside,” I noted, still not entirely aware I was awake. “Where are you going?”

What’s on your mind?

“I gotta go to the bathroom. Go back to sleep” his voice was hushed.

“Okay,” I whispered, absentmindedly playing with his tangled hair. “remember to come back to me.”

He kissed me first this time, soft and sweet. I was still half asleep and began dozing as soon as my head rested on my pillow.

Smells like strawberries.

Notes:

yes, I know I said Trevor never dated anyone before when he and No-Girl were technically together in Spider-Man and the X-Men but I am NOT counting that because in my mind she was with Ernst (let me have this)

thanks to my friend for being my (sparkle) romance consultant (sparkle) as I have experienced none of this in real life B)