Work Text:
Akaashi sits at his desk at home going over the magazine article he’s editing for work; and by “going over” he means that he’s sitting at his desk, staring at the magazine article, waiting for it to edit itself. His mind isn’t usually so clouded like this. Normally, he’s able to keep calm and collected and put his thoughts elsewhere while he works but his brain just won’t shut up. He’s only doing this work at home because he didn’t manage to get it done while in the office today, which is very unlike him. He never has to bring work home.
He would say that he’s not sure why he can’t focus but he knows exactly why. Bokuto Koutaro. He has a game in town later this week and ever since Akaashi found out about it, it’s all he can think about.
Should he go watch it in person? There’s still time to get tickets, plus he has so many connections that even if it was sold out, he could probably still get his hands on a ticket.
Should he just watch it on TV? He has volleyball matches on in the background while he works more often than not. He likes the background noise. Though, would he be able to keep it as background noise when it’s Bokuto on the screen? He’s pretty sure he’d end up ignoring his work altogether.
Should he just wait until the match is over to see some highlights of it online? He could google who won after the match finishes and text Bokuto a quick congratulations about the win or an apology about the loss.
Or, should he stay home and try not to think about it? About him? Ignore it completely, not contact him. Try his best not to even acknowledge that it’s happening so that he can just move on already. They are broken up, afterall.
Typically, when people break up, you don’t think about going to their volleyball game. Though, he supposes that their breakup never quite stopped them from staying in touch with each other. They were always talking about volleyball still. Not just about volleyball either but it was definitely the start of most of their conversations. It was something familiar to the both of them without being so familiar that it hurt to talk about. So it ended up being the main talking point in a lot of their conversations. Akaashi constantly reached out to Bokuto to let him know how well he did in a game and Bokuto would always quip back about how his setter is good but he’s no Akaashi.
So, really, Akaashi isn’t sure why this is feeling so different. The fact that Bokuto will actually be in town for this game doesn’t really change anything. Right? It doesn’t matter that Bokuto is probably in town right now and it doesn’t matter that neither of them have spoken in a couple of weeks. None of that matters.
Except, it kind of does and Akaashi can’t stop thinking about it.
“I can practically hear your overthinking from here,” A voice comes from behind him and when he spins around in his chair he can see his roommate, Kuroo, leaning on the doorway with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face, “In fact, I’m sure I could hear it from my room if I take my headphones off. Thinkin’ about the love of your life?”
Akaashi fights the eyeroll and turns back around to his work, “What do you want?”
“Wondering what you wanted to do for dinner,” Kuroo answers easily, walking into the room and on the other side of Akaashi’s desk, that way Akaashi doesn’t have a proper excuse to look away. Though, he does continue to look down at his work and at least look like he’s doing something while Kuroo speaks, “Also, Bo texted me earlier wanting to hang out, he just got into town today. So, like the amazing friend and roommate I am, I came in here to check on you and see if you knew he was coming into town. Only to find you in here, practically pulling your hair out.”
This time, Akaashi doesn’t fight the eyeroll, it happens automatically and he looks up at Kuroo, “Of course I knew he was coming into town. It’s, like, half my job to know which games are happening here.”
“Right, I guess,” Kuroo nods, “don’t you just sorta make sure the language is alright and call it a day?”
Akaashi sighs, they have this conversation multiple times a month and it never sticks in Kuroo’s brain. Akaashi spouts out his usual answer, “Yes, I also review the content and I have to make sure everything flows nicely.”
“So why do you need to know which games are happening?”
“To know about the content I’m going to end up editing,” Akaashi answers, bored, saying it as if it’s obvious because, really, it should be. He’s sure Kuroo’s just messing with him at this point because the man is smart, even if he doesn’t act like it.
Kuroo speaks again immediately, “Are you sure it’s not just because you’re stalking Bo?”
Akaashi shakes his head, unable to even pretend that he’s working anymore. He looks up at Kuroo, “I am not stalking Bokuto.”
“You’re still in love with him,” Kuroo insists, “so why are you guys still broken up?”
“I’ve told you,” Akaashi says, knowing that in the couple of years that he and Bokuto have been separated, he’s told Kuroo at least once a week because the guy cannot seem to let it go. Kuroo knows that it was a mutual decision to break up and he knows exactly why they made that decision so to be asking is just dumb. He’s seriously regretting his decision to sign the lease to this place with Kuroo, it was definitely a big mistake on his part but, damn, Kuroo weaseled his way in.
“Okay, fine, yeah, but it’s stupid to break up over a little bit of distance, ‘Kaash,” Kuroo crosses his arms, making direct eye contact with Akaashi and probably staring into his soul. It’s sort of what he does, “You gotta get back together while he’s here. Fix it. You guys are so in love, you can’t fight that.”
“Watch me,” Akaashi tells him calmly before looking back down to his work, done with this conversation now, “you can just order a pizza for dinner. Text me the total and I’ll send you half.”
“Right okay, this conversation isn’t over,” Kuroo says, his voice getting quieter as he leaves the room.
A few minutes later, his phone vibrates and he sees the text from Kuroo saying the total. Apparently, the guy is trying to feed a small army because he just spent a small fortune on the pizza but it’s whatever, Akaashi couldn’t care less. He sends half of the total and turns off any thought that could even approach the subject matter of Bokuto so that he can actually get some of his damn work done.
This doesn’t last for long, though, because a couple of hours later he’s getting a call and it’s from yet another person who will likely try convincing him to take this opportunity to reconcile with his ex.
He sighs and picks up the phone, not able to get any word out before Hinata’s voice is coming through, “Hey Akaashi!” He drawls out his name, “How are you?” He speaks excitedly, always full of youthful energy even though he’s 22 now. Honestly, it’s impressive how well he’s kept his energy level up over the years.
“I’m doing well,” Akaashi’s voice is level, already having a feeling about where this conversation is heading, “and what about you, Hinata?”
“That’s good! I’m also good,” Akaashi can practically hear the grin through the phone, ”I’m in town right now for a game in a couple of days and I was wondering if you’d wanna hang out later. We’ll be done with practice in like 45 minutes and I could drag Bokuto along!” He says as if that’s not gonna make Akaashi want to stay home even more.
“Hinata. He and I are broken up,” Akaashi says dryly.
”Which is dumb,” Hinata insists, ”and I think you two should fix that. Tobio and I are rarely in the same town and we make do. So, so can you,” He claims as if it’s the easiest thing in the world just because he’s doing it.
“Our time is done,” Akaashi assures, not understanding what his friends don’t get about them being broken up. It’s not like the circumstances have changed, Bokuto still travels for work and Akaashi still has a stable job in one town. Nothing’s changed.
Bokuto and Akaashi decided on breaking up for a reason. They didn’t want to try the long distance stuff because they felt like it would only hurt their relationship in the long run and they didn’t want to ruin the friendship they’ve built. Unfortunately, breaking up seems to also fuck with a friendship pretty damn well.
Then Akaashi hears it. Bokuto’s voice in the background, ”Small fry! Who’re you talking to? We’re about to start up again!”
Damn. Akaashi didn’t know how much he missed his voice. It’s been a while since he’s heard it and, wow. He’s really missed it.
“I’ve gotta go,” Akaashi speaks evenly, not letting his voice falter at the sound of Bokuto’s.
”Fine fine, me too but are you at least coming to the game?” Hinata asks, hope filling his tone, ”If not for him then at least for me? We’re friends, right?”
“Yeah, okay,” Akaashi agrees and there he has it. His decision made easy, the very same decision he was struggling with immensely just a little while ago, “I’ll be there to watch you play but I can’t hang out tonight, I’ve got all this work to catch up on.”
”Fine by me! I’ve gotta go, bye bye Akaashi!”
“Bye, Hinata,” Akaashi says into the phone before hanging up.
A deep sigh leaves Akaashi’s mouth and he decides to power his phone all the way off and throw it onto a chair across the room because he doesn’t want to deal with anybody else while he’s trying to get this damn work done. He already has enough to deal with with his own thoughts. Too bad he can’t power those down and throw them across the room.
*
It doesn’t take long for the day of the game to show up and for Akaashi to begin his cycle of overthinking once again. Look, he can be calm and collected when it matters but in the comfort of his own home? He’ll overthink to his heart’s content and then more.
While the day of the game came way too fast, the actual time seems to never want to show up. He swears that an hour will go by but then he looks at the clock and it’s only been a couple of minutes. He’s gotta admit, he’s actually looking forward to seeing Bokuto play. It’s been a long time since he’s watched him in person and it’ll be nice to see again. He’s great at volleyball, anybody who enjoys the game would be looking forward to watching him play so it’s definitely not about his connection to Bokuto. That’s what he keeps telling himself, at least.
Of course, he’s only going for Hinata. That’s also what he’s been telling himself since he agreed to go to the game but, without a doubt, his mind always makes his way back to Bokuto.
He’s hopeless.
He distracts himself with some work and food until, finally, the time for the game comes around. Since he got a ticket from one of the team members, Hinata, he sits in the VIP section to watch.
He gets there a little early, with Kuroo because of course he’s also watching the game, and it definitely has nothing to do with the fact that he’s missed seeing Bokuto’s face in real life. He’s just only seen it on a screen for so long and it might be a little nice to see it in person again. That’s all.
Before the game starts, his phone buzzes against his thigh and he fishes it out of his pocket to see a text from Tsukishima.
Interesting.
Sure, they’re friends but they don’t talk often, so to get a text from him? It’s a bit weird. All it reads is, ”Heard you’re at his game today. Don’t be an idiot.”
So, he has no idea what that means. Does he mean don’t be an idiot in the sense of making sure he doesn’t fall back into it with Bokuto or does he mean don’t be an idiot in the sense of making sure he does fall back into it with Bokuto? Really, it could go either way. Tsukishima is a hard man to read.
He doesn’t respond. Instead, he just pockets his phone and waits for the game to start. Just before the game does start, Kuroo turns to whisper to Akaashi, “Make sure you actually watch the game and not just Bo,” He smirks, hitting Akaashi’s shoulder with his own.
Akaashi rolls his eyes, “Shut up, pay attention,” He plans to say a little bit more but the words get caught in his throat when Bokuto comes out; both teams coming out to start warmups and whatnot. But damn. He mentally curses himself for the way his eyes linger on Bokuto doing his stretches while the announcers are doing their thing. He can’t help it, okay? There’s many reasons that Akaashi fell in love with Bokuto and the man’s beauty is one of those reasons.
He looks different, which is weird considering that Akaashi sees photos and videos of him all the time. It’s different when he’s right there, though. He can really see him when he’s right there.
The game is close to starting when Bokuto sees him. He’s getting up from his stretches and looking into the crowd, pausing when he gets to Akaashi and Kuroo. He glances between the both of them but ultimately lands on Akaashi. There’s shock at first, widening eyes and his mouth agape until the biggest smile spreads across his face as he waves.
There’s an ache in Akaashi’s heart, he can’t help but miss when they were in high school and he’d give Bokuto pep talks right before their games just to try and assure that he wouldn’t fall into one of his bad moods (it didn’t always work). He misses when Bokuto wasn’t shocked to see him. He misses Bokuto, damn it.
Bokuto takes his eyes off of Akaashi and runs to the bench, grabbing his phone and typing something out. Not even a minute later, Akaashi feels his phone vibrate against his leg once, twice, and then three times. This time, when he pulls it out of his pocket and reads the message, he actually intends to respond.
>>[Bokuto]: you’re here
>>[Bokuto]: im glad you came
>>[Bokuto]: will you come onto the court after the game?
Another message gets sent before Akaashi can type out a response.
>>[Bokuto]: ill tell them to let you on, I wanna talk
>>[Me]: Alright, I’ll see you at the end of the game
He types and sends before he can even think twice about what he just agreed to. Needless to say, his entire game he is completely focused on Bokuto and barely even focused on the game. He doesn’t even catch the score until one of the teams takes their first break. Hell, he doesn’t even know who took the break because he’s so focused on Bokuto.
“Someone’s still in love,” Kuroo sings obnoxiously, “you gotta do something about that while he’s in town, dude. Figure it out.”
Akaashi doesn’t say anything because if he’s not sure he can keep his usual demeanor. So when the game starts back up, he’s relieved to have an excuse to not talk. Still, his eyes linger on Bokuto. He tries to snap out of it. He even notices a few good plays from Hinata and manages to catch some of the mistakes each team makes.
Then, after what feels like an eternity, the game is over. Bokuto’s team won and, damn it, Akaashi can’t help but just feel proud. He walks down to the court entrance, telling Kuroo to stay where he’s at, while the teams do all the handshaking stuff that Akaashi hasn’t even thought about since highschool. When he gets down, he sees Bokuto waiting to let him on the court.
“Hey hey hey, ‘Kaashi,” Bokuto grins but the sentence isn’t said with his usual vigor, there’s not the usual level of excitement there and Akaashi kind of hates it.
“Hi, Bokuto,” Akaashi gives him a closed mouth smile, not sure what else to do, “you played really well.”
“I wanna get back together,” Bokuto blurts out, not even attempting the stupid small talk that Akaashi was going to try, “I miss you and-”
Akaashi takes a step back, looking around at all of the people around. Are they really going to do this right here? Right now? In front of all of these people? The determination in Bokuto’s eyes tells Akaashi that he’s not going to let up so Akaashi sighs, “Nothing’s changed, Bokuto. You still travel for work, I still have my job here, we-”
“But that’s wrong,” Bokuto insists, taking a step forward, “things have changed. We aren’t friends like we used to be.”
“Well yeah,” Akaashi agrees, that’s kind of obvious, “we broke up.”
“But we broke up so we wouldn’t ruin our friendship by attempting long distance,” Bokuto continues to argue his points, getting quite loud as he does so as per usual, “then we went and let breaking up ruin it anyway so why shouldn’t we just try the long distance thing to know that we tried, ‘Kaashi?”
“Bokuto,” Akaashi mumbles, suddenly very aware of the eyes of some of the people on the court on him. Bokuto’s coach, his teammates, really anyone within earshot.
“No, ‘Kaashi, just hear me out, don’t be your usual stubborn self,” Bokuto stands his ground, “this is exactly what we didn’t want to happen, right? We didn’t want to ruin things by doing long distance so we decided to just go back to being friends, right? So that we didn’t ruin the friendship we had.”
Akaashi nods. That is what happened, yeah.
“Well, that friendship is ruined already,” Bokuto takes another step forward, “it’s ruined because we never talk like how we used to. Even before we started dating, we talked way more than we do now,” He speaks without stuttering in the slightest, like he’s been thinking about all of this for a while. Still, he’s repeating some of his points and, after knowing him for so long, Akaashi easily notices some of his tells, showing that he’s nervous, “So, we’ve effectively ruined our friendship by breaking up so, please, let’s just fix it. Let’s get back together. Let’s do the long distance thing because at least we’ll know we tried and I don’t wanna live my life not knowing whether we would’ve worked out if I had just been a little more persistent with you.”
Akaashi opens his mouth to say something but Bokuto doesn’t let him, he’s not done yet, no. He keeps going, still determined as ever, like he knows exactly where he’s going and what he needs to say with his next question, “Have you dated anybody else since we’ve been apart?”
Akaashi hesitates to answer that because no, he hasn’t. In fact, the thought of dating someone else hadn’t ever even crossed his mind, his heart’s always sort of been for Bokuto. He’s pretty sure he’s known that since he met the guy. But does he really need to make a fool of himself and admit that?
“C’mon, have you?” Bokuto presses on.
Akaashi shakes his head, mumbling a soft, “No, I haven’t.”
“Neither have I,” Bokuto admits a lot easier and a lot more proud, “because I love you, Keiji,” He says it so meaningfully, in a way that Akaashi hasn’t heard before despite the many times they’ve said those words to each other in the past. The use of Akaashi’s given name has him holding his breath, “and I’m pretty sure you still love me too so why are we torturing ourselves by being apart?
“Damn it, Bokuto,” Akaashi’s calm facade falls apart and his face contorts into a million different feelings all at once, some of which he can’t even name. He wants to give in, of course he wants to give in but there’s something holding him back and he doesn’t know what.
Bokuto keeps talking, “We already know what it’s like to break up, right? So, what’s the worst that could happen if we try long distance?” He takes another step forward and now he’s very close to Akaashi, “If we absolutely hate it then it’ll just go back to how it is right now and we’ve been dealing with that, right? So, with all that said, who are we to keep pushing out the idea of a long distance relationship?”
Apparently, that’s exactly what Akaashi needed to hear, it’s exactly what was holding him back. Everything Bokuto said just now because he finds himself nodding, “Yeah, okay. Yeah, let’s do it,” He takes a steady deep breath, trying to calm himself back down but his entire body is buzzing and his thoughts are racing and he’s a little gone with Bokuto so close to him.
Bokuto breaks out into a series of smiles and joyous laughs, he goes to lean in for a kiss but Akaashi places a hand on his chest, “You’re all sweaty,” He mumbles, “plus, there’s a lot of people,” He glances around at everyone, “not to mention reporters,” He nods over at a group of people with cameras.
“I don’t care about them,” Bokuto’s voice falls into a whisper, which is something that Akaashi missed being able to hear. Bokuto’s natural default setting is loud but after dating the man for a while, he got to hear his whispering and it takes him out every single time, “and I think you care a lot less about the sweat than you’re making me think.”
Akaashi gives him a weak chuckle but, really, it’s just that he knows that Bokuto knows exactly what to say to get him right where he wants him. He’s the only person who’s been able to break through all the careful walls he’s put up and Akaashi can’t even be mad at it because, honestly, he’s pretty sure he helped tear down some of those walls too, “Alright, just kiss me already.”
Bokuto doesn’t even hesitate enough to think twice about it before his lips are crashing into Akaashi’s for the sweet, familiar kiss. Akaashi’s thoughts are finally at ease in a way they haven’t been in a very long time. He just kisses Bokuto and focuses on that; the wrapping his arms around the back of his neck and pulling their bodies together as Bokuto cups Akaashi’s face, deepening their kiss. It’s been so long since they’ve done this that they sort of get lost in it.
They don’t care about the gaping looks from Bokuto’s teammates. They don’t care about the cheers or boos from the audience. They don’t care about the flashes and sounds of cameras coming from around them. They don’t even care when they find their kiss all over the internet the very next morning.
They don’t care because they knew what would happen if they kissed right there, on the court. They don’t care because they have each other and they were foolish to ever think being just friends was enough. They don’t care because they’re right where they’re supposed to be and they’re going to figure the rest out together.