Chapter Text
Figuring that it was about time, Darry had started to tackle cleaning his wardrobe. He’d long outgrown many articles of clothing, but he’d never had the time to clear them out. They’d get mixed up with his good clothes, and he’d wasted countless mornings trying to sift through different outfits. Each shirt he’d try wearing would refuse to button, or would choke him defiantly at the neckline.
He’d had enough, and decided to use up the little free time he had that night sorting through his clothes.
Most of his old shirts were still in decent condition, and could be given to Sodapop, who could then pass them on to Ponyboy once he himself outgrew them. It was a great way to save, in Darry’s eyes – who needed new clothes, when you had older brothers that grew too tall for their own good?
A neat pile of shirts and a couple pants were sitting on his bed after a short amount of time, and he felt rather proud of himself, even if it was a small task. Reaching for the last shirt, buried in the back of a drawer, he realized the texture was off. It wasn’t like any of the other shirts he’d pulled out, and when he placed it under his dim light bulb to see better, he felt his heart drop.
Purple madras, staring up at him and calling him back to his highschool days.
Darry sighed quietly, and sat down in his chair, the cotton slipping between his fingers. He’d forgotten about that particular shirt, one gifted to him on a day that felt forever ago, when he was a different man.
Rough hands had lovingly placed it over his shoulders, with a kiss on the cheek and a whispered promise of ‘forever’ and ‘never forgotten’.
Forever wasn’t very long, huh? He thought, his lip curling up as he mulled over what to do with the shirt.
He couldn’t stay hung up on it forever, letting it rot in the back of his drawer. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to get rid of it. Bringing it close to his chest, Darry closed his eyes, willing himself not to get emotional over fabric.
Darry had never expected himself to fall for someone like Paul Holden, much less that he’d let him break his heart. For weeks afterwards, he’d wondered if it was some sort of divine punishment for being involved in that way with a man. Once their parents died, though, he’d thrown away most of his hopes for ‘divine’ anything.
He could forgive whatever god there was for making him attracted to men, and hope that he was forgiven back. He could forgive them for a turbulent relationship and a worse breakup. What he couldn’t believe was that someone supposedly all-powerful and all-loving, would kill two innocent souls so mercilessly.
A loud bang shook him out of his thoughts, and it took him a second to register that a door had slammed somewhere in the house.
Probably Two-Bit again, for Christ’s sake…
Running a hand over his face, he folded up Paul’s shirt, and placed it back in the deepest part of the drawer, opting to deal with it later. Afterwards, he stood up and grabbed the pile of clothes he’d picked out for Soda. He knew if there was anything small enough for Pony, Soda would give it to him right away, so he hadn’t bothered to separate their piles.
Carrying the shirts under one arm, Darry made his way out to the hallway, still in a bit of a daze. He knocked on Soda’s door once. No answer.
“Soda? I got some old clothes you ‘n Pony can go through.”
He was about to knock again, when he heard a sharp breath from inside the room. Moving closer, he could hear what sounded like stifled sobs.
“If you don’t answer, I’m comin’ in.”
After only hearing more crying, Darry gently opened the door, closing it behind him. Sodapop was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands and his breath held to stay quiet. With a small sigh, Darry set the clothes down on the foot of the bed and sat next to him.
“What’s goin’ on?”
Soda wiped his face, staring down at the floor.
“Sandy’s havin’ a baby.”
Darry’s eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Soda continued.
“It ain’t mine. I still love her, I wanna marry her… but she’s gone off to Florida. I don’t know what to do.” He cried, pressing his palms into his forehead.
Darry pulled him closer, keeping an arm around him. He’d always envied how much Soda and Sandy loved each other, and he hadn’t realized she was capable of cheating like that, but what he did know was that Soda had too big of a heart for his own good.
“Her parents don’t want her with me anyway, what with me droppin’ out, and now this.”
“It’s gonna be alright, buddy, I know it’s hard to hear, but it just don’t work out sometimes.”
“Don’t say that, Darry! I don’t wanna hear that, I love her!” Soda raised his voice, shrugging his brother’s arm off of him and trying not to get too angry with him.
Darry shook his head, and pulled Soda into a hug despite his protests, pinning the two of them together and ignoring the other’s attempts at manoeuvering his way out.
“C’mon…”
“Nope. I ain’t gonna sit here and let you be all sad, this is what you get. I don’t know shit about comforting people.”
Soda laughed despite himself, feeling some of the tension leave his body.
“You suck.”
“Hey, now, don’t get sassy with me, I’m the one who feeds you.”
He pulled Soda closer, and felt a lean pair of arms finally wrap around him. They sat there for a few minutes, and he decided not to bring it up when Soda cried into his shoulder.
“I’m gonna write to her. Even if she don’t wanna hear it.”
“... I’ll leave you to it. I’ll call you for dinner, alright?”
Darry knew that there was a high chance that Soda’s letter wouldn’t get opened, or would be met with anger, but he also knew that it would be the only thing soothing the boy’s broken heart for the next little while. So, he decided it was best to let it be, and left to go make food.
In the process, he completely accidentally, not at all on purpose, slipped some blue food colouring into the mashed potatoes.
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Ponyboy laughed quietly, feeling his face heat up as he slipped out of Eric’s car, holding his own cheek. The swift peck that had been placed on it felt like it was curing all of his problems, for a few precious seconds.
“Thanks for bringing me. Again.”
Eric had brought him to go pick up the week’s pay after school, and although he was only making minimum wage, he was overjoyed to be contributing to the family. He figured that once he got home, he’d snag a slice of the chocolate cake in the fridge – letting himself indulge, since he was helping out anyway.
“Always for you, love. And, you know that I can help you out if they’re not paying you enough, as long as you help me.”
Ponyboy groaned and failed to hold back a chuckle. He knew exactly what Eric meant, but it made him nervous to think about the implications, so he preferred to laugh it off instead.
“I’ll think about it, alright? See you tomorrow, Rick.”
“Be safe.”
As he walked home, Ponyboy mulled over what Eric had told him. It was inevitable that the subject would be broached at some point, but he didn’t know how to feel. Having the incentive to not deprive himself of food would be nice. Still, it freaked him out to think about having to provide for someone he loved in that way. He wasn’t ready.
He bit his lip, slowing his pace a bit so he’d have more time to think. In doing so, a thought crossed his mind. He’d been around Eric enough by then to pick up on what the ‘aspirins’ in his car really did. James had been half-asleep in class after having a couple, which was funny to watch. Although he knew it was a stupid move to replicate, maybe it could help calm his nerves if the time ever came, knowing that he’d be too much of a pushover to say no.
Brushing the idea away, Pony walked into the house and slipped off his shoes, sighing. He moved mostly on autopilot, his feet carrying him to the kitchen so he could put away the money he’d earned, and stick a small fraction of it in his pocket. Their savings box of stray bills had been looking a bit fuller since he’d gotten a job, and it was one of the rare things that boosted his confidence.
Darry turned the corner to the kitchen, having heard familiar footsteps trailing inside. He’d gotten home earlier than usual, and wanted to see what Ponyboy was up to.
“Hey, Pone.”
Ponyboy tensed up and looked over at him in surprise. His brother’s silent footsteps could’ve gotten him a job as a spy, and they never failed to catch everyone in the house off-guard.
“Golly, Darry, don’t do that!”
“Don’t act like you ain’t always sneakin’ up on everybody.”
Pony laughed and shook his head, while cursing himself in his mind for not realizing Darry was already home. He knew it would look suspicious if he stopped all of a sudden, so he just continued counting out the bills, and tried to seem natural so that Darry would brush it off.
“You’re home early.”
As Ponyboy closed the savings box and shoved a couple bucks in his pocket, Darry’s eyes finally dropped down to look at what he was doing.
“Uh-huh... Where’d you get that money?”
Shit.
“... I got a job at the bowling alley a little while ago. After school ‘n stuff.”
Darry’s eyes widened and he scoffed, smiling incredulously. He was almost impressed that Ponyboy was able to hold down a job right under his nose, and that the kid was actually looking for ways to contribute. However, that was only with the brotherly side of himself. The other half of him, the one that kept track of everyone, the one that kept his brothers safe , was screaming at him to do something, and he couldn’t even think of a reason why.
“Why didn’t you say somethin’? You don’t have to work, Pony. We’re doin’ fine just like this, with me and Soda working.”
He really didn’t like the thought of Ponyboy having to balance school and work, especially since school would be his way out of the run-down neighbourhood they lived in. The concern in his mind wasn’t showing through his words, reading more as anger.
“Darry, it’s alright. The manager likes me, and I’ve got a good schedule that don’t mess with school, or track, or anything. We could really use the extra money.”
“You’ve gotta be focusing on school, you’re already busy enough.”
Ponyboy shoved the box back in its usual spot and turned to look Darry in the eye, feeling a little annoyed. He couldn’t understand what was so wrong about wanting a job, especially since their family was struggling. Keeping his face neutral, he allowed just the slightest bit of irritation to seep into his tone.
“We need it. I’ll be fine, I can make sure to keep on top of everything.”
Darry knew he didn’t have too much to worry about. He knew that Ponyboy was a smart kid, even if he wasn’t the fondest of school. Still, the thought of his brother being able to work for the first time without himself being any the wiser, and the fact that he barely ever knew where he was, were starting to get to him. He thrived when he had control over a situation, especially a conversation, and it felt like his brother was staring into his soul and challenging what he knew.
“You didn’t think to tell me about any of this? They didn’t think to ask your guardian about anything?” He’d started yelling a bit, as was common in his disagreements with Pony.
Darry was grasping at straws, trying to find some reason why he was so thrown off-guard. He was angry at Pony for keeping something like that a secret, but it was a thin veil for the fear he felt. He took pride in keeping tabs on his family; knowing where his brothers were and when they’d be safe at home again. Every bit of uncertainty in his life was a way for it all to go wrong again.
“We need to be able to save some money. Are you gonna tell me that it hasn’t been a bit easier the past couple weeks?”
Ponyboy crossed his arms, somewhat avoiding the question. He knew he probably should’ve asked for permission, but there was a big chance his brother would’ve said no. Now that he was in this deep, he at least had a shot at keeping this going.
Darry sighed and leaned against the door frame, rubbing a hand over his face. Pony’s face was too resigned for his own good, and Darry really wished he didn’t have a point. The extra money was nice, and he was on the verge of slapping Soda upside the head for having taken so many late shifts to get some savings.
“You can’t keep things like this from me. If somethin’ happened, I’d have no idea where you were!”
Already frustrated, Ponyboy sighed, sarcasm seeping into his voice. He knew deep down that Darry was anxious, but it still bothered him, mainly because he’d been irritable the whole day anyway. Something about the whole ‘not-eating-three-meals-a-day-like-an-idiot’ thing had really started to get to him, making him much easier to provoke, on top of his already heightened teenage angst.
“I’ll start posting a daily newsletter on the fridge, then, alright? Full itinerary.”
“Don’t get smart with me, bud. I ain’t gonna let you give yourself a reason to get in trouble with me, so this conversation is over. Keep your job, if you’re that determined.”
Darry walked all the way into the kitchen, his face tensed in worry and frustration. He definitely didn’t have to brush into Ponyboy as much as he did, but they were still brothers after all, and that meant that petty was their second language when it came to their arguments.
“Thank you, kind sir.”
The muttered words from Ponyboy nearly had Darry spinning around on his heels to tap him in the jaw, but he had enough self-restraint not to be stupid like that.
That little shit…
Pony really did take after him, he thought, when it came to their mutual love for rubbing salt in the wound after someone lost an argument. He couldn’t help but smile a bit to himself, but he was far from happy. He hated having lost control of the interaction. He felt dejected that he’d managed to lose his cool again. Most of all, he hated the flat and accepting look on Pony’s face, resigned to his fate of working to try and hold their unstable finances together.
Ponyboy wasn’t oblivious, and clearly knew that it was getting harder to live off of what they made, but he’d hoped that the kid wouldn’t ever feel like he had to work, until he went off to be on his own. It was wishful thinking.
With a sigh, Darry glanced at the clock and opened the fridge, wondering how in the hell he was meant to keep it together until Ponyboy went to college.
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The sky outside had faded down to a star-speckled black hours prior, but Ponyboy was still curled up on the couch with a book, absorbed in his own little world. He’d done his best to try to convince Johnny to stay for the night, but the boy had wrapped himself in his jacket and gone out to sleep in the lot, not wanting to be a bother. Thankfully, it was fairly warm out, with no clouds in sight.
A small clunk in front of him caught his attention, and he looked up from the pages, seeing a mug on the table, then Darry standing next to him.
“Finally found that kind of tea you like at the store a couple days ago.” The man mumbled, hovering around the table before finally deciding to sit down.
Ponyboy smiled awkwardly and picked up the mug, taking a sip and trying to act like he didn’t just burn off half of his taste buds.
“Thanks.”
“What’re you readin’, anyway?”
Pony shrugged, scooting a bit closer to him after he set the mug down to cool.
“The Great Gatsby. I’ve read it before, but I like givin’ books another go-round.”
Darry hummed and lightly glanced at the page while Pony read, not having much context for what was happening. He didn’t have much interest in reading about other people’s business, only picking up a book every once in a while, but he was trying to make up for the earlier spat they had, and Pony might appreciate some company, along with his favourite late-night tea.
“Seems interesting.”
“Yeah, it’s nice. I can lend it to you, if you wanna read it sometime.”
Ponyboy could sense that Darry was apologizing in his own way, and he felt like he should do the same, but he didn’t know how. Letting the man touch one of his precious books was a gesture that he hoped would seem like a peace offering.
“I’ll think about it.”
Darry lightly ruffled Ponyboy’s hair, which made him groan, but they were both smiling.
“Alright, well, I gotta go deal with them dishes. You should go to bed soon.”
“I’ll think about it.” Ponyboy smirked as he parroted his brother, knowing that what they both meant was ‘I won’t, but I’m being nice’.
“Very funny.”
Darry stood up, his eyes lingering on Pony as the boy immersed himself back in his book. He felt like he should properly apologize, but something stopped him. He felt like a fish out of water, and his pride was getting the better of him.
“You alright, Dar?”
“... Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t take too many shifts, okay?”
Pony glanced over at him again, giving him a reassuring nod.
“I won’t, I promise.”
“Night, kid.”
“Goodnight.”