Archive of Our Own ^beta

The fluorescent lamp above the store's automatic sliding door keeps flickering.

Techno should probably call somebody to fix it. Or he could do it himself, it can't be much more complicated than grabbing a step ladder from the storage room and switching out the bulbs. Hardly rocket science. And Technoblade is a dual major, so he's practically already up there with rocket scientists when it comes to slightly dangerous tendencies of self-reliance. Admittedly, the real reason he hasn't fixed it is probably because he doesn't care enough to do so.

Or maybe he feels he's not paid enough to do extra chores around the store.

Working the night shift comes with a better salary than any other part-time student job Techno has ever tried. Plus, it's a great shift to work in his opinion. There are way fewer customers at night, sometimes Techno spends his entire shift and doesn't have to interact with more than three people. Sounds pretty perfect to him. And since nobody else wants to work nights, he's mostly by himself. The store is small enough that running it alone for a night won't kill him. The pay is a little higher than average because that's common courtesy for forcing somebody to be nocturnal - little does his boss know Techno simply makes all his coursework for online university on his dingy little laptop while crouching behind the counter. Then he goes to his tiny apartment to sleep, eat, and play video games.

Despite all that, changing light bulbs is not in Techno's job description.

And maybe that's a good thing because how else is Phil going to enjoy the flickering bulb's dramatic lighting when he makes his swooping entrances?

Techno remembers very vividly the first time Phil entered the shop.

It was raining that night, Techno could see the fluorescent mirrored in the droplets that clung to the glass. His shift had only begun an hour or two ago, meaning it was barely past midnight. What little Techno could distinguish from the street outside it was deserted, and he'd popped open a can of soda in preparation for getting started on whatever essay he was working on at the time.

Then the sliding door slid open and in walked the most ridiculous, menacing figure Techno had ever seen.

Phil had been wearing a long, black coat that trailed down to his ankles and ended in a bunch of haphazardly frayed edges, so crude Techno might have believed Phil cut them with a scissor himself. Combined with the dress pants, shiny shoes, and waistcoat, he looked more fitting for a Victorian vampire novel than a nightstore. Phil was wearing his bucket hat - a hat Techno has since become very used to but back then made him look a little silly - the wide brim casting shadows across his face. The fact that his pale blue-gray eyes seemed to shine from within that darkness completed the look.

Techno remembers that he looked at Phil back then and immediately thought 'oh, the store is being robbed by a supervillain'. Which would be a marginally more stupid thought if the shop Techno works at wasn't in a really bad part of town, where villain attacks are semi-frequent. The only reason they hadn't been vandalized yet might have something to do with them opening less than a week before.

Superpowers are just one of those fun little mysteries of life that Techno has to contend with, since he was born without them. A bit cringe, but it turns out that being able to fly or lift cars is a funky recessive gene that only some of the population gets to have. Techno's parents didn't have any superpowers either, and while Techno did spend part of his childhood dreaming he was that one in a hundred fluke of kids who still manifest powers despite mundane family members, it didn't happen.

Those who do have powers, get to start practicing them in middle school. The government pumps a ton of money into individualized mandatory training for teenagers so they can learn how to control their powers or use them to everybody's advantage. These classes are probably also a pipeline to the government-funded superhero program Techno has heard about, or at least a desperate bid to keep those same kids from deciding to turn to villainy. Techno can't say for certain. All he knows is that while the cool kids got to do all that, those same hours in the curriculum were filled for him and his non-powered peers with regular self-defense classes. Because hey, that's totally the same thing!

It's nice and all that Techno knows how to grapple off a guy trying to grab him from behind, but how the heck is that going to help him when a villain is shooting fireballs at his face?

In other words, when Phil walked in (several months ago now, Techno can hardly believe how this semester has flown past), Techno's first instinctual thought was that the store would be plundered and his main priority making sure he wasn't killed somewhere along the way.

Then he witnessed Phil shove several candy bars into his pockets, walk to the hot drinks machine over in the corner, and get himself one black coffee, no lid. Techno was standing behind the till by the time Phil got to the register - something he barely ever did. Usually he just kept sitting around until the customer was already clearing their throat in impatience.

"Good evening," the villain later known to Techno as Phil said.

"Yup," Techno responded. Because something about wishing a villain 'good evening' back felt like bad karma to him. "Just the one coffee?"

"Seems so," Phil answered. His grin spread to an almost obscene width, blinking at Techno with those glowing eyes. The candy bar wrappers were sticking out of his pocket in a very obvious manner. Their bright colors made an interesting contrast against Phil's almost monochromatic black-and-dark-blue hot topic fit.

"That'll be two dollars then," Techno said.

Phil handed him the money in pennies. Techno did not count them, frankly he would have let Phil walk out of the store again without paying anything. Techno's life was worth more than a few candy bars and the worst cup of coffee known to mankind. But Phil remained where he was, watching Techno put the coins in the till.

Honestly, the staring was getting on his nerves.

"Anything else?" Phil asked.

Techno looked at him. "...Yeah," he decided slowly. "Can you tell me where you got your clothes? So I know what store to never set foot in."

Phil honest to god cackled at that, which was a bit much considering it hadn't even been a particularly good joke or anything. Techno was just annoyed. But for some reason, Phil acted as if it was the funniest thing anybody had ever said to him.

"I like you," he told Techno. Then he promptly walked out.

Techno knew he should probably call the cops. Any supervillain sighting should be reported to the correct authorities, and Techno had no doubt somebody as ridiculous as Phil had to be a supervillain rather than a regular crook. But Techno didn't call the cops. Because he didn't want to deal with all that paperwork.

And thus Phil returned. Again and again. Each time, he paid for some stuff and stole something else. Each time, Techno failed to tell anybody who should be told about this happening. His boss was careless enough that they didn't even seem to notice the store was losing product. Or maybe they'd factored this into the operating cost, what with it being a crappy neighborhood and all.

It has been four months and Techno is used to Phil now, so he doesn't blink when the sliding door opens and the flickering lightbulb casts shadows over the shorter man's face. His grin is near maniacal with glee as he skips up to the counter right away.

"Guess what."

"What?" Techno asks.

"Mate, it's no fun if you're not guessing," Phil complains. Techno smirks at him.

"I know."

The thing about walking into the same villain time and time again is that at some point, you stop being afraid of them. If Phil wanted to kill Techno, he would have done so ages ago. No, instead Techno has passed some sort of indescribable vibe check and now this store is Phil's regular stop almost every night. Other villains have picked up on this, because Techno is pretty sure he's seen Blackbird and The Shrieker around. They're a little more guarded about their identity than Phil is, though. However, they all seem to like him. Probably because of that 'never calling the cops' thing.

"And I even got you a gift," Phil sighs sadly, draping himself over the till like a sad and floppy creature of darkness. The effect is a little lost when he doesn't have the wings, but Techno supposes it takes a lot of energy to shadowform those constantly.

"A gift?" Techno asks, curiosity piqued.

"Yeah, for your birthday." Phil tips his hat back so he can smile up at Techno, teeth overly sharp in the shop's dim lights.

"I never told you when my birthday is."

"You didn't have to." Phil bends his arms, so he can rest his chin on his hands and blink demurely up at Techno.

Techno should probably be concerned that villains are now doxing him apparently, but hey, free stuff!

"Do you wanna see?" Phil asks. He's certainly eager to get Techno's reaction, so the younger man nods. Phil perks up immediately, reaching into his inner pocket. What he pulls out is a small, old edition of The Art of War by Sun Tzu. Techno recognizes it instantly, holding his hand out to receive the gift. The texture feels grainy, the bamboo slats having worn a bit with age. But every single inked character is visible. Techno cannot read ancient Chinese, though he knows the book by heart at this point.

The much more concerning thing is that Phil could only have gotten this out of a museum.

Most bookstores would not have a 9th-century edition of Sun Tzu's work lying around. Heck, most museums wouldn't either so this was a targeted robbery.

"You realize that if this is traced back to me, I'll be arrested," he says.

"I'm aware," Phil answers. "It won't be traced. Trust me."

Techno frowns dubiously, because there's something ironic about a villain asking for his trust. Worse, Techno finds he does believe Phil. If The Crowfather says this gift won't get Techno in trouble, then that's the case. And Phil did go out of his way to get him a birthday gift.

"Thanks," Techno says.

"I noticed you were writing an essay on war tactics through the ages," Phil explains. "Figured you'd be a fan. Would you send me that essay when you're done with it, by the way? It might be of use to me."

Techno laughs slightly. "Sure."

Phil buys a coffee, steals another candy bar, and disappears into the night again. Techno wraps The Art of War in tissue paper from the bathroom before putting it in his bag, carefully so it won't get damaged. It's pretty priceless, in the very literal sense.

Then he continues with his shift as usual.

---

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

Techno is actually in one of the storage rooms at the back when Tommy comes in, but his loud cursing makes it very easy for Techno to tell who entered. He places the box he's holding onto the ground and turns around to see what the emergency is this time.

Tommy is busy fumbling, hands too slick with blood to open a vacuum-sealed package of bandages. He drops two, picking a new one off the rack instead of retrieving the ones he dropped. Techno can't fault him. Tommy is bleeding from a huge gash in his side, so maybe bending over would hurt him.

"Do you need any help?" Techno asks, making Tommy jump and then hiss in pain.

"Fu- Don't sneak up on me like that," Tommy complains.

"You're in my store," Techno says. Technically the store isn't his, but that shouldn't hinder the point he's trying to make. Which is that Tommy shouldn't be surprised that Techno is here, he literally works here.

"I know that!" Another pack of bandages slips from Tommy's hold. Techno sighs, knowing he'll have to clean all this blood later. "Are you just going to stand there watching me bleed out or are you going to do something?"

Techno chuckles, before grabbing Tommy's elbow and dragging him over to the counter. He makes Tommy sit on the chair he keeps back there and usually sits on when no customers are around. Then Techno retrieves the first aid kit from beneath the till.

"What the heck happened to you this time?" he asks.

"Biking accident," Tommy answers.

The lie is flimsy at best, and it's not even one of the more amusing ones Tommy sometimes comes up with.

The thing about working the night shift at a shop that's open 24/7 is that there are only two types of people who regularly come to the store that late. Villains are one of them, people like Phil, using the cover of night to commit their crimes. The other type is people who try to stop those crimes. Heroes and vigilantes.

Tommy just isn't very good at his job.

"Sit still." Techno starts to clean out the cut, ignoring how much Tommy squirms. He hopes it stings. Then Tommy might be more careful next time. Techno is by no means a medical professional but he has gotten pretty good at wound care over the last few months.

"So, how have things been with you?" Tommy asks. "Nobody is bothering you, right?"

The way he thinks he's being subtle is pretty hilarious. Though Techno appreciates the good intentions.

Where Phil has taken a liking to him for some indescribable reason and uses his power among the ranks of villainy to ensure that everybody knows Techno is off limits, the heroes who come to the store like Tommy have a much more expected reason for wanting him to remain unharmed. They're just nice people.

"Been a pretty boring shift," Techno says. "What about you? School and stuff?"

"School and stuff," Tommy agrees.

Another big difference between the heroes and villains Techno knows is that the villains generally do not try to hide they're villains. They might attempt to protect their civilian identities (unless they're completely unhinged like Phil), but overall they don't mind Techno knowing why they're out that late at night. Tommy - and most of the other heroes Techno has become acquainted with - tends to take the opposite approach. They don't want Techno to know about the crime-fighting, maybe also to protect their day-to-day life or simply to keep Techno safe. So they badly pretend to be people who are casually deciding the witching hour is when they should do their shopping.

To each their own, Techno supposes.

"You don't sound very excited," Techno says. It's kind of funny how Tommy's entire face clouds over at the mere mention of school.

"It's just boring shit, you know?" Tommy complains lightly. He winces as Techno pulls the bandage as tight as it will go.

"I don't," Techno says flatly. Tommy scrunches up his nose at him, slightly.

"We can't all be huge nerds like you," he says.

Techno laughs at that. When he's done, he leans back to study his handiwork. He's honestly getting disconcertedly good at patching people up.

"Have you seen Niki yet, by the way?" Tommy asks suddenly.

"Not tonight." Techno cleans his hands. "Why?"

"She was supposed to patrol with me-" At a glance from Techno, Tommy clears his throat. "I mean, help me. With the biking thing."

"Uh huh," Techno hums.

"But I haven't seen her. She said she had some issues with a villain yesterday."

"Sounds about right," Techno says. He's not overly concerned, Niki can take care of herself. She comes by a lot to check up on him and bring him baked goods.

"I don't know, apparently there's a new guy out on the street." Tommy shrugs, nonchalantly. "I'm not worried about it or anything. If he tries to mess with me, I'll beat him up." The statement is a little bit undercut by his flinching from the wound when Tommy tries to raise his arms.

"Not like whoever it is would be stupid enough to go out on The Crowfather's turf anyway, right?" Techno says.

Tommy snorts. "Fuck that guy. I'll beat him up too."

From the standpoint of an observer, Techno has tried to deduce exactly the sort of relationship villains and heroes have with each other. After months, the answer he has landed on is: he has absolutely no clue.

Most villains who are actually stupid enough to endanger lives and kill civilians will get arrested pretty quickly. From what Techno can tell, people like Phil just enjoy chaotic games of cat-and-mouse with people like Tommy. And theft. Lots of petty theft.

"Are you going to get back to 'biking'?" Techno asks.

He'll humor Tommy. The kid is friendly enough.

"Nah, my everything hurts." Tommy looks up at him with pleading eyes. "Maybe since you like school so much, you can help me with some homework instead."

"Are you paying me?"

Tommy's eyebrows knit together. "No?"

"Then that's your answer."

"Technooooooooooo-" Tommy draws the name out to an almost comical degree. "Please? I really need a passing grade."

"Bruh, stop relying on me to do your dirty work." But as he says it, Techno is already holding out his hand for Tommy to show him what the homework is. It's not like Techno doesn't spend most of his shifts either doing his own school stuff or bored out of his damn mind. He might as well do Tommy a favor too. Especially since he's probably failing his classes because of his vigilante work. That's a good cause, right?

"And this is why you're the biggest man," Tommy says happily.

After Tommy leaves that night, Techno has to go and clean his blood off the floor. Somehow, that should be worse to him than it actually is. Techno sees it as his new normal. He hangs around and wastes the hours it takes for his boss to finally show up. He always takes the early shift.

Techno stretches his arms above his head as he starts to walk back to his apartment. It's still very early, the crack of dawn. The streets are mostly deserted, save for the very occasional morning commuter already on their way to work. Maybe that's why Techno notices immediately that he's being followed.

He speeds up his walking, but the guy following him does the same.

Yeah, that's ominous.

Techno takes his phone out of his pocket so he can start texting Phil. He doesn't get the chance to press send.

An arm winds around his neck from behind. Techno grabs it and pitches forward, throwing whoever it is over his shoulder and onto the ground. They're wearing all black and have a cloth up over their face, so Techno isn't sure if it's one of the villains he knows. Probably not, they're all on pretty good terms. He tries to turn around and make a run for it, but a cold hand clutches around his ankle.

Techno trips and falls. Then he feels as if all his energy is being drained through that point of contact, their fingers pressing into his skin.

Of course, this guy would have superpowers. Man, Techno hates this.

He doesn't get a ton of time to be salty about it though, because a moment later he passes out.

---

Phil walks straight into the store's glass sliding door because he expects it to open.

And also because he didn't see the glass, but that little detail is neither here nor there. The Crowfather scowls, rubbing his bruised forehead (not as badly bruised as his pride), and shoots daggers at the offending door. It remains locked, heedless of his anger. There's a little piece of paper taped to the inside.

'Closed due to unforeseen circumstances'.

The store is never closed this late at night.

Phil tries to peer inside, but obviously it's so dark he can't see anything. Techno certainly isn't in there. Weird.

And very vexing, since Phil was hoping to get another candy bar. Shadow manifestation uses up a lot of energy so he could really use the extra sugar later.

Peeved, he starts to walk away. There are plenty of other activities Phil can fill his night with, he doesn't need to wait around for Techno to have something to do. In fact, it would be quite foolish of him. As he walks, he automatically finds his feet carrying him roughly in the direction of Techno's apartment. Phil figured out where it was a couple of days after meeting the younger man. So far he's not really used the knowledge for anything, seeing no point in visiting Techno's apartment when he can simply visit him at work. But it's always good to have that kind of information just in case.

Phil is glad he did. Because he notices that there's a dark figure looming in an alley nearby.

And - well - regardless of whether it has anything to do with Techno or not, Phil doesn't like dark figures looming anywhere near a place he considers his own.

He spreads his wings out, lunging forward to pin whoever it is to the wall. Phil's claws find their place around the person's neck, squeezing a little as they start to struggle. It's only when they teleport out of his hold and a few feet away, that Phil realizes it's just Ranboo. Or Enderian as the villain is more commonly known by.

"What the hell, Phil." They sputter a bit, rubbing at the red marks standing out on their pale skin.

"Sorry," Phil says - though he's not. Not really. Since Ranboo is one of the more tolerable villains around though, Phil would rather not make him an enemy. "I thought you were lurking."

"I was, technically." Ranboo straightens up. He's about two feet taller than Phil, something which annoys Phil immensely.

"In an alley? Where nobody could see?"

"Practice lurking," Ranboo says simply. "But then I got distracted because I found something weird."

What Ranboo holds up is something Phil recognizes immediately. Techno is always tapping away at his phone when Phil enters the store.

He can't keep some fury out of his voice when he speaks. "Where did you get that? That's Techno's phone."

"Really? I just found it lying on the ground. Why do you think it was here? You don't think something happened to him, right?" As Ranboo talked, a strange crackling sound came from him too. He must also be worried.

The thing about Techno is that it's very hard not to like him.

Phil was sold after that first meeting. Then he spread the word that he didn't want anybody else to fuck it up and raid the store. Techno was to remain untouched, or The Crowfather would make the life of whoever disobeyed that order a living hell. That only made other villains more curious to go there and see what Phil was going on about. And somehow they all ended up becoming friends with Techno.

For a little while, Phil even theorized Techno was unaware of the fact that he had a passive superpower that made other people automatically like him. But he stole a few of Techno's hairs once to test and nope, not a superpowered gene in that guy's body. He is simply built different.

"What the fuck?!"

And that likeability extends to non-villains as well.

"If you hurt Techno, I swear to god I'll-"

"It wasn't us," Phil says, tossing the phone at Tommy. The teen vigilante has to stop his pissed tirade to catch it. The metal melts a bit under his touch, the tips of his blond hair glowing with how much heat Tommy is generating in his anger. He's not as in control of his powers as some other people Phil has faced. But he is very entertaining, so Phil likes Tommy a lot.

There's no point to villainy if there's no dramatics.

"Then who was it?" Tommy asks heatedly. "Because I'm going to kick their ass."

"Get in line," Niki says. She jumps down from the roof, landing effortlessly thanks to her steam-powered shoes. She's also wearing the brass knuckles with kinetic energy inlays, so Phil knows she means business.

"Oh hey," Ranboo says brightly. "We missed you last night."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Niki smiles sheepishly. "There was this dude, total pain in the ass."

"Probably the same guy who got Techno then, right?" Tommy asks.

The chances of it being anybody acquainted with Techno are close to zero. So it makes sense the new meat got a bit overambitious.

Phil is going to make sure they regret that for the rest of their miserable, extremely short-lived existence.

"They shouldn't be too hard to track down," he says, spreading his wings to fly up to the roof of the building. Niki gets back up there easily enough thanks to her superjump and Ranboo teleports next to him. It's very amusing to see Tommy grumble since the boy has to pull out a grappling hook to make it up there.

"Really? Couldn't they be anywhere?" Ranboo asks.

"What if they're hurting Techno right now as we speak," Niki says softly. She crosses her arms over her chest, knowing the possibility pains all of them. The last thing they want is for something bad to happen to Techno, especially as they're all very aware Techno's involvement with them must be the very reason he got taken. This new villain could be trying to send a message.

"Don't worry. I can call in a few favors," Phil says.

Not a hero nor villain this side of the city will sleep through the night until they get Techno back.

---

Tommy isn't too thrilled at the idea of working together with a bunch of villains, but desperate times and all that.

Phil is a wrong 'un, but he knows a lot of people. A few phone calls are all it takes to have a bunch of other villains trapezing around the place, and even some heroes. Tommy feels kind of useless with his one addition to the team, but Tubbo is a master hacker so he's probably way cooler than the tiny ant-sized bug guy named Sneeg that Phil called or pro hero Jack Fucking Manifold. Yeah, Tommy doesn't know why Phil has him on speed dial.

The warehouse that this random new villain took Techno to is on the edge of town. It's very creepy and shit, Tommy must say. He can hear the waves lapping at the pier nearby and once in a while, the silence of the night is interrupted by a menacing fog horn from the darkness. Real movie stuff.

"What state do you think he'll be in when we find him," Ranboo asks anxiously. He's been working himself up a bit.

"Tortured, probably." Tubbo nods to himself. "Maybe a finger or two short. Or a whole arm. Ears too, if he's unlucky."

Ranboo whirs nervously. "Really?"

"Nah, I'm just messing with you."

"How about we go in and find out for ourselves?" Phil rolls his shoulders back, stretching his muscles in preparation for the assault. The shadows coalesce around him. Tommy is close enough that he can feel the painful prickle of them tracing his skin.

He springs from his crouch before Phil finishes his statement, too impatient to wait. Tommy is ready for action.

As a result, he's one of the first to make it to the warehouse, every pounding step leaving some ash behind. Tommy feels it thrumming through his veins, and excess of energy with nowhere to go. It's what Tommy loves most about hero work. Nothing else makes him feel like this.

Normally, he thinks it's fun. But he has to admit having a friend put in danger kind of takes that edge off. Tommy has never been this eager to get beating up a villain over with.

The warehouse is made of confusing hallways and rooms, a lot of them huge and empty. Tommy calls Techno's name a couple of times but only echoes answer him. By the five-minute mark, Tommy is getting restless. What if the villain moved Techno to another location? What if Techno is already dead? What if-

Then he comes into a smaller, densely packed room and skids to a stop.

"Hullo," Techno greets pleasantly.

And Tommy has to reign in every single inch of his body that makes him want to strangle the guy for making him so worried, while he's just standing around unconscious bodies like it's nothing. He doesn't even look super hurt. There's a bruise on Techno's face and his hair is all messy, but he's definitely not either dead or dying. And he still has all his fingers!

"Techno? What happened, are you okay?!" Tommy enters the room - almost tripping over said unconscious body in the process. He sees no blood and the very slight twitching of an eyelid, so they can't be dead. But Techno really did a number of them.

"Hm, I'm fine," Techno says. "That guy? Not so much."

"We thought you were kidnapped by a villain," Tommy says, throwing his hands up in outrage.

"I was."

"Oh…"

Tommy does need a moment to reckon with the fact that this means non-powered civilian Techno has casually defeated a villain as if it's nothing.

"I'd have gotten out sooner if he hadn't left me alone in here for hours. That was lame," Techno adds.

Phil chooses this moment to enter the room, immediately relieved at seeing Techno unharmed.

"Wait, you're both here?" Techno asks, probably somewhat surprised to see two people usually opposed working together.

"We were worried about you!" Tommy says loudly. Techno blinks at him, maybe he needs a moment to get it through his thick skull that people very much care about him.

"You shouldn't have been, I got it handled," Techno says. "Though since you're here, that's very convenient. Can one of you take credit for this?"

"Credit?" Phil asks.

"Yeah, I'd rather not have people know I did this. They might ask me to freelance at the hero academy or something, and then that'll screw up my entire GPA, and it's just not worth it." Techno says this with a little shrug as if it's the most normal thing in the world and not completely fucking insane to Tommy.

But he nods. "Yeah, I can take credit. Let the world know that Phoenix was on the case." He puffs out his chest.

"Hey, who said none of us wanted the credit instead?" Tubbo asks behind him, entering the room.

"Because I got here first?"

While they banter, Techno walks out of the warehouse and presumably to the store so he can start his shift late. Capitalism waits for no man. But maybe everybody rests a little easier knowing their friend is fully capable of taking care of himself after this.

Not that it will ever be an issue again, everybody knows Phil will make sure of that.