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"How are you holding up?" Minho asks, climbing down and sitting on Newt's bunk once he's sure Thomas is asleep. "With... y'know, everything."
"What variation of everything are you talkin' about?" Newt prompts.
"Well," Minho says, "this dorm thing can be my problem, since I'm the shuckin' leader, or whatever." He pauses. "So the Alby "everything"."
Newt sighs. Obviously he didn't want to talk about this. Talking has never been his thing. He didn't like to let people know he was hurting, or to let them see him crack apart. But Minho... Well, Newt wasn't sure there was anything he could possibly do to scare Minho away. And, trust he'd tried. But at the end of the day, he didn't know what he'd do without Minho.
He certainly wouldn't be here today. He certainly wouldn't be as put together right now. Minho constantly looking out for him was the only reason he wasn't falling apart at the seams. The only reason he could stand to be here.
"Well," Newt says quietly, "that's the "everything" I don't wanna talk about."
"You'll feel better once you do," Minho says, daring to sit a little closer to him. Newt does nothing to deter it. "You know you will."
"It's my fault," Newt says finally.
Minho stares at him, genuinely confused. "You're gonna have to talk me through that one."
"Well, he saved my life, after... The Incident," Newt begins.
He'd gotten so used to calling it that. The Incident. Capital T, capital I. It was easier than saying 'the time I tried to kill myself', after all, and it certainly made people less wary about it. It saved him from seeing that solemn, somber look on Alby's face every time he said "the jump".
"He did," Minho agrees, still not understanding.
"And in the end, I couldn't return the favor," Newt concludes. "I just... I let him do it. I was frozen, but I was right there."
"Alby's death wasn't a suicide," Minho says firmly. "It was a sacrifice. There was nothing to save him from, because he was trying to save us. We should honor that accordingly."
"A sacrifice for nothing."
"Well, he didn't know that," Minho says quietly. "And neither did we."
Newt sighs. He felt tears pricking at his eyes, and crying certainly wasn't something he wanted to deal with right now. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, looking away so Minho won't see his glassy stare.
"I wanna talk about a different "everything"," he says finally, once he's composed enough to talk without his voice breaking.
Minho nods slowly, sitting a little closer to him. They're practically flush against each other now, but Newt doesn't say anything. Maybe he took a little more comfort in that than he was willing to let on.
"How about the "we're gonna starve to death in here" everythin'?" Minho asks, trying to sound sarcastic. He just sounds tired. That was how Alby had always sounded, too. Newt hopes that Minho won't lose his light like Alby had, after leading for so long. Minho needed to stay eccentric. That had always been the sole constant.
"I don't think they'd put us through all this just to let us buggin' starve to death," Newt says quietly. "What's the point in that?"
"Maybe the Maze was the end," Minho says, "and now they have no use for us. So they're leavin' us here to die."
"Then why take Teresa?" Newt asks. "Why dump Aris with us?"
"To worry us to death? I dunno."
"Bloody insightful, you are."
Minho smiles sadly, his hand closing over Newt's. The blond looks up at him, confused. Minho doesn't move it, instead opting to take his free hand and use it to push Newt's hair away from his face.
"Your eyes are all red," he says finally. "Exactly how much secret crying have you been doing?"
Newt maintains the eye contact, even though he wants nothing more than to stare at the ground again. "A lot," he confesses.
"Alby made me promise to take care of you," Minho says. "I guess... Guess he knew he wasn't gonna make it out." He pauses. "I should have seen it coming."
"If it's not my fault, then it's not yours, either," Newt points out. "What happened to honorin' his sacrifice?" Minho laughs softly, but then he shakes his head. "None of that blood's on your hands, Min," he says quietly. "They all chose to follow you. They made that decision, and they knew the risks."
Minho's hand lingers on his cheek. "I dunno what I'd do, if it had been you," he whispers it like a secret. "I wouldn't be sittin' here right now, certainly."
Newt doesn't know how to verbally respond to a confession like that. So he doesn't. Instead, he closes the distance between them, pressing their lips together. God, how long he's wanted to do this. He's imagined this happening so many times, yet he never imagined it to be this soft. This loving, this slow and patient.
Minho deepens the kiss, his hands dropping to Newt's waist as he pulls the blond into his lap. Newt goes willingly, trying not to gasp as the older boy's hands grip his hips tightly. Newt finally pulls away, trying to catch his breath. He doesn't go very far, can't go more than a few inches, with Minho gripping him like a lifeline. Not that he wants to go more than those few inches, anyway.
"I think this warrants a conversation," he manages, settling better in Minho's lap.
The Runner doesn't loosen his hold. "I say we kiss now, and talk later."
"Good that."
Minho's hands drop to his ass, flipping their positions as Newt's back hits the bed with the utmost care. Minho's on top of him now, hands caging him in, Newt's legs wrapped around his waist.
"I like this position a lot better," Newt says, wrapping his arms around the older boy's shoulders in an effort to bring him closer.
Minho kisses him again. It's hungrier this time. More fervor. More vigor. It's rushed and desperate and everything that Newt had imagined kissing Minho would be like. Newt lets him take control of it. Lets the older boy's tongue into his mouth, finally gasps as it runs along the backs of his teeth.
"Min-"
"...Newt?"
Newt freezes. Minho pulls away, his gaze instantly locked on Thomas, who, while not facing them, is most certainly awake.
"Tommy?" Newt asks, trying to recover. And, yes, he's quite aware of his voice being an octave higher than usual, but he hopes that Thomas isn't. "Is everything alright, mate?"
"...Sorry, yeah," Thomas says. "I just..."
He's gonna turn around. Any second now. Newt, coming to this realization, swats Minho off of him. The older boy takes the hint, quietly dropping to the floor on the other side of the bed so Thomas won't see him. Won't put two and two together. And, with such perfect timing, Thomas turns around, making direct eye contact with a very awkward, very flustered Newt.
"I'm just worried about Teresa," Thomas confesses. Newt nods slowly. Seriously? He could be making out with Minho right now, but he's got to listen to another of Thomas's rants about Teresa. What else is new?
"She's fine," Newt assures him. "If anyone can take care of themselves, it's Teresa, yeah?"
"I know, but..."
"Tommy," Newt says. "She'll do that freaky thing in your head if she needs you. Alright? But Teresa's just fine. Aris's group's prolly takin' great care of her."
"You have a lot of faith in people you don't know."
"Well, go ask Aris about 'em, if you're that spooked."
"Fine. I will."
Thomas gets out of bed and wanders off to Aris's room. Newt actually lets out a relieved sigh. Minho wastes no time crawling back on top of him, caging him back in. Newt pulls him closer, kissing him hard. They won't be able to go any further than this, of course, with everyone else in the same room as them, but Newt's more than fine with just kissing.
"Hey, I forgot Aris is in here no-"
Newt freezes at the same time that Minho does. The older boy doesn't dare even so much as look in Thomas's direction, but the blond peeks his head out to see if Thomas is broken.
"...oh."
"...Oh?" Minho asks.
"Um... you and-?" Newt nods slowly. "This whole time? How did I not know about this?" Minho just shrugs. Newt knows by that smug smirk that he's not gonna tell poor Tommy the truth.
"We're just good at staying quiet," Minho says. "God, you don't know how many shuckin' times you almost walked in on us, man. You remember that night in the Map Room? Must've been close to three in the morning, and-"
"And you two were in there alone," Thomas finishes for him. "And I insisted on helping you guys with the maps, didn't I? God, am I always this stupid?"
Newt smacks Minho on the chest. "We weren't together then," he tells Thomas. "We're... we're not even really together now. He's just bein' annoying."
"I just..." Thomas's voice trails off. "Jeez, I wouldn't have bugged you if I knew you were getting laid. My bad."
Minho's the first to burst out laughing. The other two follow not long after.