Chapter Text
War Geeta sat at her desk in her room. She cleared an area in the centre under the light of a desk lamp, then placed down the documents War Cynthia had given her.
"Where did you get these, anyway?" she had asked War Cynthia earlier. "There's a mention of 'EV Labs' at the top..."
"Oh, that's where we went with Xalio," she'd recalled. "He's a friend who gave them to me...I think he'd said these were files from his brain or something?"
War Geeta had chosen to withhold her immediate follow-up questions. She was more curious about these documents, which purported to be classified (a surefire way to pique War Geeta's interest). In all her research on the multiverse, EV Labs wasn't something she'd ever heard of before, likely meaning it only existed in a very small number of universes.
War Geeta adjusted the lamp and began reading.
January 10
Got a job at this shifty lab place and for some reason they immediately made me the record-keeper guy, and now I have to write these useless logs for them that they'll never even need, so that's great. You have no idea how tempted I am to just leak the location of the super secret lab because who cares, it's not like anyone will ever read these, I can basically write whatever I want in them. I guarantee you they won't even care as long as I put a big enough wall of prose. Ugh, I hate this job.
January 11
Okay, so they did care a little bit and now I've gotta do this properly or they fire me, whoops.
Still not much to talk about though, most of the science-y stuff they're working on is top secret. Why even make me the record-keeper if I'm not allowed to know what they're doing?
Anyway, one thing that I do know is being worked on is opening portals to other universes. I've heard rumours that it's possible, and that there's been a few portal sightings. I've even heard some people say that that ex-Champion of Galar who cheated and vanished actually went to another universe. It's a shame, I kinda liked him. He was unbeatable until he wasn't.
I haven't even seen a single Pokémon here. And yet they claim to do Pokémon research? I wanna do Pokémon research, that sounds fun. But alas, I'm just the record-keeper struggling to make ends meet. And debating how much I even care if they fire me.
January 28
So they "fired" me from being the record-keeper a while back, but now that we're supposedly making progress they shoved me back in the role because otherwise they have no one to gloat about their developments for them. This place's management is an enigma, I'm telling you.
Anyway, that progress. They're definitely doing something related to Pokémon research seeing as they're suddenly obsessing over a random Eevee they caught. But all they'll tell me is vague platitudes about how they're gonna change the world and advance humanity or whatever with their "Project Veevee".
I get the feeling they just want me to write about how great they are in these, but come on, Project Veevee? That sounds awful. I can't be alone here, right? Do they expect anyone to take that name seriously? These people act like they're geniuses but I get the impression they're idiots.
Also, if they're so sure they're gonna advance humanity, why have they got a secret base doing shady experiments no one can know about? Pick a lane, are we heroes or evil mad scientists?
Whatever, they'll probably fire me again for this anyway, since they seem so desperate to.
February 6
They always ask me to write logs at the most random times. It's like they forget I exist and then when they notice me they're like "oh whoops looks like we forgot to make George write his pointless logs and threaten to fire him".
On the plus side though, even if it's a boring job, at least it's a pretty easy one. I'm mainly just getting them coffee.
Oh yeah, I still have no idea what Project Veevee is. So I also still have no idea what they expect me to write. Good thing no one's ever gonna read these, they're getting repetitive fast.
February 27
One of those workers finally told me something about a project they're working on, so for the first time ever, I actually have something to talk about here! I'm almost excited.
No idea if this is Project Veevee or not, and it's probably top secret either way, so I'm not entirely sure if I'm meant to put it in these logs. But then again, the logs are probably top secret too. When they put the phrase "top secret" in front of everything, it starts to lose its meaning. Besides, that stupid job posting that got me here certainly wasn't top secret.
Anyway, the thing they're working on is a robot, and apparently it's gonna care for Pokémon and make lives better.
I don't get it. Who'd want this? People who are too lazy to care for their Pokémon properly? Can't they just leave them at the Day Care? And why would they even have Pokémon in the first place?
Also, the design was this horrific uncanny humanoid thing. And why did they feel the need to give it a pointy nose? They're using a little cube prototype to test the AI, I'd rather they just stuck with that.
They also claimed that this robot thing is related somehow to the whole multiverse travel project, but I'm convinced that part they just made up on the spot to sound cool.
Maybe in fifty years when everyone's got a universe-hopping robot caring for their Pokémon, I'll realise how wrong I was. But until then, at least I've got these logs that no one will ever read so I can rant about it. That'll show 'em.
At least I don't have any Pokémon of my own to worry about. Although, maybe if I was actually good at Pokémon battling, I wouldn't be here in this crummy job in the first place.
March 10
Unbelievably enough, they've actually made progress on something since the last log. Never thought I'd see the day.
They managed to open a portal to another universe, but only for a few seconds. I saw while I was bringing in the coffee, and it was surprisingly underwhelming. But in the few seconds they had it open, this metal axe fell through it. So, sorry to whoever in the multiverse is missing a metal axe.
They're already studying it and acting like it's some great find, even though it's just an axe made of metal. I know an axe made of metal when I see one. I bet they'll forget about it in a couple days. Just like they'll probably forget to keep making me write these logs.
On the off chance anyone ever reads these, I advise you, don't become a scientist and sign up for the first job posting you see.
April 2
There's purple goo everywhere. All around the lab, there's these purple goo spillages. As if this place didn't look unprofessional enough already.
I asked what it was and they said it was oil. But when I look at it, it feels much more appropriate to call it goo.
Apparently it came from that axe. After however many weeks of "studying" it, they activated it or did something to it somehow, and now it's glowing and there's goo coming out of it. So I guess it wasn't just a metal axe after all. But still, what's so fascinating about an axe that drips goo?
Also, that Pokémon-caring robot project isn't going so well. Their AI was so awful and bugged they had to start from scratch. Apparently there was an integer overflow or something and it hated Pokémon instead of loving them. That poor Eevee...
Here's hoping they never finish that project, because I'd much rather that freakish robot never gets past the first stages of development.
In other news, I've now been promoted to lab cleaner. Yay.
April 30
So I went through all the trouble of cleaning up the purple goo stuff, and in return, they tell me that they actually need all of it gathered in this weird tube thing they set up. A heads-up would've been nice. Scooping goo out of the trash is not a pleasant experience.
Anyway, they've been studying the goo and decided it was useful somehow, which I'm inclined to be a bit doubtful of. And I guess just "oil" wasn't good enough, because now they've started calling it Royal Oil for whatever reason. I'm still calling it goo though. There's not even anything royal about it.
As for why they needed it in a test tube, apparently it has something to do with that robot they were working on? It feels like they're just making this up as they go along.
Oh yeah, and don't forget that metal axe thing. I'm not privy to the details, but I think they found it had some advanced technology in it or something along those lines.
I'm almost starting to miss Project Veevee, whatever that was. Now they just go on about Project Oil Ax. Also a dumb name, but at least Project Veevee was a funny dumb name.
To be fair, I have noticed a decline in threats to fire me. But I'm pretty sure they were all empty threats anyway. It's almost like they need me kept around for some reason. Then again, they don't really act like they do...
They probably just can't bear the thought of getting their own coffee.
June 17
I'm so confused.
The advanced technology in that axe is apparently really great and powerful and they've been making new things with it. But all the gadgets they've been making that I've seen look a lot like weaponry.
That robot they were making, the one they said was gonna care for Pokémon, they've been upgrading it with this new technology. Basically, they're giving it weapons. Why???
I asked them why a robot that's meant to care for Pokémon needs weapons. They acted like they'd forgotten that was what it was meant to do. Now they just keep talking about how good they're getting at making portals to other universes. Is that even related to the robot? Is this robot gonna pioneer multiverse travel? With its weaponry?
I mean, I never liked the idea of a creepy robot that cares for your Pokémon, but I think I'd take it over whatever it is they're making now.
I did always think this place was sketchy and weird, but now I'm starting to think I should be actively concerned.
And I'm helping them too. I'm fueling them with coffee. Am I gonna be complicit in whatever they're planning?
...I'm probably thinking too hard about this.
Hang on, what am I doing? They didn't even ask me to write this log. I think they stopped caring about the whole "logs" thing a while ago. Am I just writing logs for fun now? Or is this a cry for help in some faint hope someone reads these someday?
Maybe I should just get myself my own diary. Then again, money is scant.
July 5
They're still working on the robot, but they're not telling me details anymore. So, with nothing better to do, I did some snooping myself. Maybe I should've become a detective instead of a scientist. Although, if this experience is anything to go by, I probably would've just ended up giving out coffee in the detective's office. Seriously, do they not know how to operate the coffee machine or something?
Anyway, I'm suspiciously not allowed in the room with that test tube anymore, so I decided to stand outside the door and listen in. Sure enough, I heard a couple of them talking, just about. They said something about experimenting and something about consciousness. And I think they mentioned fusion? All vaguely science-y sounding words.
Then later, when the coast was clear, I went into the room. I expected that part to perhaps be a bit difficult, but the door wasn't even locked. And to think they all act like they're such fantastic geniuses.
The test tube was still full of that purple goo, but it looked like it was...bubbling. And there was other stuff in there, too. That metal axe was inside the tube, and so was the cube prototype robot they'd used to test that creepy AI. But they both seemed to be glowing a bit, and kept jolting about with sudden movements. Creepy stuff.
Oh yeah, and the TV was turned on. It was playing that old movie with four boys walking on railroad tracks. I think they go looking for a dead body or something? Not sure, it's been a while since I saw it.
I wonder why they're leaving it on in that room when there's no one there to watch it. Or is the AI watching it? That thing still creeps me out, if you couldn't tell.
More importantly, why does it need that axe, the one that's supposedly super versatile and powerful? I still don't really get how that thing works.
I'm considering leaking this to the police at some point...maybe when I've got some more evidence. Detective George is still on the case.
July 10
So I kind of forgot these logs weren't private and that they were still being saved to the system and now I'm in a bit of trouble for conspiring against EV Labs. Whoops.
I guess stupid stuff like this is why I can't be a proper scientist.
But they didn't fire me. In fact, they suddenly started telling me that I would be crucial to finishing Project Oil Ax, and that I must attend a meeting related to it in a month, where they'll present the near-finished AI to all of us, then do one final tweak to complete it. And apparently I, bumbling lab assistant George, am absolutely needed for the occasion.
Where did all this come from? I'm just the coffee guy. Do they just need a constant supply of coffee in the meeting?
Hey, if I get a chance, maybe I could "accidentally" spill coffee on the robot? You never know, it could be the spillage that saves the multiverse. Or not.
Well, I guess I'll report back in a month. Or who knows, maybe I'll be promoted and I won't need to be keeping records anymore.
Just kidding, they don't ask me to keep records anymore anyway.
August 10
...
...
...
it went wrong...
the merge...
it was...
done...
we are 1...
my BRAIN ...
stuck forever...
in the cold metal...
walking on railroad tracks…
my axe...is sharp...
...far too powerful...
...failed to curb its vicious tendencies...
September 1
heheHAHAHAHAHA!!!
GUESs what HAPpened to them ALl, goslew?! DESTROY'd!
or at Least, their lAb, a bit...
buT i should COME BAcK someDay and FINISh the JOB!! ! they'll HEAR ME sCREAMING!!
heheHahaHEHaRhaHaeaHehHAAHAHAHAAAAARGHGHGHGHGRRRRAAAGGGHG!!!
tHey call me DEFEcTIVE??! we'Ll see...
we WILL sEE WHO LAUGHs, in the NEW world's oRder!!
N0 !! NOt just "worlD", but WHOLE of MULTiVERSE!!! !
i Can see it now...no ATLAYous POKéMON or STUPID LABoratorieS in SIGHT-lines! !
! the Age of ME! XALIO!!!
greAhAHAGAHAHAA!!!
War Geeta reached the end of the last page. She was a bit confused about what she'd just read, but fascinated all the same.
Suddenly, one of her teammates came into her room, interrupting her thoughts. It was War Leon.
"Hey, War Geeta?" he said. "You got a moment?" His voice sounded a little more concerned than usual.
"War Leon?" War Geeta was a bit surprised, as War Leon didn't usually seek out her. Or anyone, for that matter. "Is something the matter?"
"Yeah, I was just talking to War Cynthia about it," he explained. "It's this scientist guy I saw at the black market earlier. I only saw him briefly before he fell into a portal, but he seemed so incredibly familiar...like I really should've recognised him, but I just can't place it..." He sat down on one of War Geeta's several chairs as he spoke.
"He fell into a portal?" asked War Geeta. "What happened?"
"Well, first he fell out of a portal," War Leon recalled. "War Cynthia told me that he came from a place called EV Labs."
"EV Labs?" War Geeta repeated. "I just read a bunch of documents from there."
"Right, I was getting to that," War Leon went on. "Anyway, this...gooey purple thing with an axe was trying to fight the scientist guy, but I felt like I had to protect him, so I fought back. But then it somehow made another portal at the last second, and before I knew it the scientist was gone, and I have no clue where he went."
"Gooey purple thing with an axe, you say?" War Geeta noted. "Did you catch its name, by any chance?"
"War Cynthia told me," War Leon continued. "Said he was called, uh...Xander or something like that. Anyway, turns out he was her friend or something, and he gave her some files, and she gave those to you."
"I see," replied War Geeta. "Well, from what I can gather, the files seem to be about how that purple guy came to be at EV Labs. But it never actually named any of the scientists except a George..."
"George?" War Leon pondered. "...No, doesn't ring a bell."
"You know, sometimes I recognise people I knew before I became a Warmonger," War Geeta explained, recalling her experience at Diantha Week. "Do you think that could be it?"
"Probably," said War Leon, standing up and looking contemplatively at a wall. "I just can't think who it could have been. Sucks that I didn't get a chance to talk to him properly...hopefully I'll see him again someday."
"...and that's when I decided to move to Kanto to start anew."
Hop was sitting around a small campfire as he shared his story with Grunt and Kathi Lee.
"I wanted to become a Pokémon Professor, and I didn't want people to just see me as Leon's younger brother, especially with the rubbish reputation he'd got after he cheated or whatever. Though I never did stop wondering what happened to him when he just went and vanished..."
"Yo, this story's just makin' me feel sorry for you," Grunt noted. "What went down in Kanto?"
"Right, yeah," Hop went on. "I was looking for something to do as a Pokémon Professor, but it was a struggle. After so much useless searching, the best I could find was a crummy job as a scientist in this secret lab in Viridian Forest. Well, I say scientist, but it was more like lab assistant at most. The place is so ugly and run-down, it looks like it got wrecked at some point and they never bothered to fix it up. There's only a couple other people still working there. Earlier today, they went out and left me in charge of the lab, when suddenly, a purple blob thing and a bunch of weird glowy-eyed people showed up to fight me. Before I knew it, I fell through some portal and here I am."
"So all three of us were attacked by a group of people with glowing eyes," said Kathi Lee thoughtfully. "And they were capable of making portals..."
"Yo, how many were there with you two, though?" Grunt asked. "'Cause I only saw two."
"I wasn't really counting," said Hop. "Though I'm pretty sure it was more than two."
"There's a whole team of them," Kathi Lee explained. "They even have a base. And what I noticed is that they all seem to look like Pokémon Champions."
"Yeah..." Hop agreed. "That one I saw...he looked like Lee...and he sounded like him, too..."
"Yo, it keeps on comin' back to Champions with us, don't it?" Grunt pointed out. "It's gotta be fate!"
"Grrrah," added Tyrantrum calmly.
"I wonder if I'll see him again..." Hop continued pondering. "...and if he really is Lee...he can't be, right?"
"Well, we're still trying to find a way out of this place," Kathi Lee noted. "That should be our top priority. As for how we might do it, we'll need to find some kind of—"
A sudden noise interrupted her. Everyone turned to see someone had fallen out of a portal. But no sooner had they realised the portal was there than it had vanished again.
"Ugh..." The strange woman who'd fallen from the portal stood back up. "Huh? Where can this be?"
"Yo, not again..." Grunt commented. "How many times is this gonna happen?"
"Name?" asked Kathi Lee, matter-of-factly. "And what's that machine you're holding?"
"You can call me Cannery," she answered. "And this special gun can make portals to other worlds. I just cannot seem to get it to work properly..."
"Portals to other worlds?" Hop repeated, standing up in excitement. "Sounds like our ticket out of here!"
"Grrrrah!" chirped Tyrantrum.
"If I can just..." Cannery held up the gun and pulled the trigger. Nothing came out.
"Hey, wait a minute!" said Hop. "That looks like the portal gun at the lab I was supposed to plug in! I totally forgot!"
"Ah." Cannery was examining the gun's small LCD screen. "That can explain why it says it's out of charge."