Chapter Text
Chan looks at Felix as he begins rearranging his room.
He starts with his bed, moving it this way then the other. He focuses on his desk next, adding small knick knacks to his already growing collection. Chan sighs, and presses himself against the wall.
“I can do this myself, you know?” He tries, watching Felix’s wide eyes meet his in a daze. He’s biting his lip, his freckled cheeks like stars in a consolation. The sun watches over them, filling the room with unprecedented amounts of heat. Chan feels sweat begin to bead on his forehead, and he wipes it away with a slight grimace.
“You’re not fully healed yet, and I want to do this for you”. Felix shrugs off, turning back around to continue in his organising. Chan simply smiles, letting the siren do what he feels he must.
Chan was moving in, officially. He was finally moving in with the rest of the pack.
His life was beginning again.
There’s knocking then, and Chan turns around to face the door to his room. It opens slowly, as Minho’s head peaks through its small crack. He smile, gesturing at him to come inside. Felix doesn’t notice though, too caught up in his own ministrations to do much of anything else.
“I’m going now, just thought I should check up on you before I did”. He states, looking over at Felix with an amused expression. Chan chuckles, lilting his head to the side.
“What am I, a kid?” He teases, watching Minho’s smirk grow in size. He shakes his head, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder and squeezing there lightly. Minho bites his lip, looking down at his hand in slight disbelief.
“No, not at all. You’re our hyung. I just wanted to make sure you were still here”. He says, Heaven laced on his tongue. Chan shudders, feeling its damage like a bullet. He shakes Minho’s hand off, working an easygoing smile onto his face.
“Thanks man, but you really don’t have to. You’ve got a new job to worry about”. Chan teases, elbowing Minho on the side. Minho chuckles, shaking his head. Chan sees his nostrils flare, but it’s not in anger, it’s in gaiety.
“Fuck off, being the new Head of Council was not in my plans at all”. He groans, raking a hand down his face roughly. Chan laughs, mussing up Minho’s hair in delight. He feels so fond, as it etches itself into his very soul. He feels so fond, as it carves itself into his very bones. Chan laughs again, just because he can.
“You’re going to be amazing, I just know it”. Chan says, and it feels like a guarantee. In many ways, it was. Chan knew, like with most things, that Minho would be alright. He’d be more than alright, he’d be fucking awesome. Chan knew this, like he knew most things.
“I’m gonna rain Hell on ‘em”. Minho promises, and the thought of it causes Chan’s heart to grow a size. He hears Felix shuffle behind him, his incessant fussing finally halting.
“You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t”. The siren says, his deep timbre like an echo in Chan’s chest. He shakes it off, focusing instead on the man in front of him. He sees Minho shrug, a rousing smirk on his face.
“I’ll go now, don’t do anything crazy while I’m gone”. Minho says, finger pointed at Chan as he leaves the room in a whirlwind. Chan breathes out, shaking his head lightly. It feels like thunder rolls then, but it doesn’t, and the room stays deathly silent.
“You know, we’re all worried about you”. Felix suddenly says, the air in the room suffocating the very thing Chan was clinging to. Chan looks at the siren, his blonde hair like waves crashing onto the sandy shore. He gulps, and feels his fingers grow numb with it.
“There’s no need to be-”.
“Of course there is, hyung. I mean, how could we not be?” Felix sighs, throwing a stack of blank papers onto his desk. He pinches the bridge of his nose, his pearly skin glistening in the late light of evening. “You shoulder everything on your own, and you don’t like talking about what happened. We know physically you’re fine, but what about mentally? How are you feeling right now?” Felix implores, eyes wide as saucers as they take him in.
Chan feels rubbed too raw, his blistered skin peeling just like it had in the fire. The fire, it burns on his tongue like charcoal. He shakes it off, memories of flames licking his body far too painful.
“I know, I’m just-”. Chan stutters, looking to the side in defeat. “I just don’t know what to say”. He murmurs, biting his bottom lip harshly. He feels Felix move closer to him, his body like water as it eases into him. It’s not the first time he’s thought this, and it certainly won’t be the last, but Chan is truly grateful to have met Felix. He’s grateful, to have been loved by such a great man.
“It’s okay if you don’t have the words, or the nuance to explain how you feel. Hell, half the time even I don’t know what to say. Just, don’t shut me out, please. I want to know how you feel, how you are. I want to love you through all the hard shit. We’re brothers, we look out for one another. I’m not going to leave you behind”. Felix states, and the words wash over Chan like forgiveness.
He sniffles, closing his eyes to stop the tears from forming in his eyes. He clenches his jaw, feeling the gentle touch of a hand on his white knuckled grip.
“Sorry if that was too sappy, but I mean it. Let me know if you ever need anything, okay?” Felix rushes to say, taking Chan’s fist and prying it open carefully. He slots his fingers in between Chan’s, the caress of a siren not one that’s easily forgotten. Chan feels its call like a song, and it causes goosebumps to rise on his forearms.
“Thanks Felix”, is all Chan can think to say.
————
He’s lazing around on the couch, mindlessly flipping through the channels on the TV when he feels the couch dip slightly. He looks to his left, catching Hyunjin’s eyes from his peripheral. It causes a loud snort to escape him, as he rectifies himself against the backrest.
“What’s up?” He asks, watching Hyunjin’s fangs grow ever so slightly. The vampire seems almost skittish, his carmine eyes wide as they stare into Chan’s brown ones. Chan lilts his head to the side, hair flowing along with his movements. It had gotten long, he realises, his fringe now kissing his eyelashes heedlessly.
“Has my father contacted you?” He inquires, breathlessly, as though he’d been holding it in for far too long. Chan can’t help but gape for a moment, his brain like static noise. He closes his mouth, eyes narrowing somewhat.
“No, why? Has he done something to you?” Chan asks, voice rising at the thought of Hyunjin suffering because of his father. It was odd, Chan’s feeling towards Baek Hyun. He hated the man for hurting Hyunjin, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but hold some respect for the man. It didn’t matter though, at the end of the day. Hyunjin was his family, his brother. Nothing else mattered, not really.
“No, he just called me”. Hyunjin says, his far off look sending chills down Chan’s spine. He sits up even straighter, inching his body ever closer to Hyunjin.
“What did he say?” He questions lowly, the words coming out sort of like a growl. Changbin would be proud, Chan thinks, with his beaming smile and angled face. Hyunjin merely looks at him, expression hesitant. Chan hates that, hates it when his members feel uncomfortable around him. He bites his tongue, chastising himself for jumping to conclusions.
“He asked me to tell you something”. Hyunjin begins, like a breath of pure relief. Chan deflates, slouching slightly. “He wants you to know that he’s seen what you did, and that he’s impressed. That he didn’t mean for you to take what he said so literally”. Hyunjin shrugs, but there’s something building there, something clawing at the walls around them. Chan breathes out, nostrils flaring as he does.
“Don’t take what he says personally. He doesn't even know me”. Chan tries, looking down at the hands in Hyunjin’s lap. His claws are out, sharp and ever-present. Chan would be scared, had it been anyone else.
“I know, but it’s still hard to hear. I mean, you’re not his son, but he’s prouder of you than he ever was of me”. Hyunjin grits out, like it physically pains him to say. Chan hates himself all over again, for reasons completely out of his control. Maybe he’d always be this way, blaming himself for things he couldn’t change. It’s okay though, as long as he had his members, the pain would subside and a new day would begin.
“His opinion means nothing, Hyunjin. Look at me”. Chan almost orders, forcing the other man to turn and face him fully. Hyunjin does, the decadent look in his eyes stabbing into Chan’s chest thoroughly. He fights it, forcing himself to numb the growing ache. “His opinion means nothing. You are a part of this pack, meaning you are mine to take care of. Not his. My opinion is the only one that should matter, and Hyunjin”. Chan says, smiling at the vampire in a way so delicate, it rattles in the confines of his torturous heart.
“I am beyond proud of everything you’ve become”.
Hyunjin’s lip wobbles then, as he looks to the floor in defeat. His breathing becomes laboured, hands fidgeting on his lap uncomfortably. He looks incandescent, his striking features blurring the lines between perfection and artistry. Chan feels his chest grow warm, and he places a careful hand on the vampire’s shoulder. He squeezes once, then again. The world is small, and their breathing intermingles in the space between them. Nothing can hurt them, not here.
“Hyung!” A voice shouts then, loud and identifiable. Chan turns, watching Changbin barrel into the room with his ears on high alert. Chan laughs, and it echoes in the walls of his home.
“What?” He giggles out, shielding Hyunjin from Changbin’s view. He’d appreciate it, if the roles were reversed, to have been given some semblance of privacy in a moment so vulnerable. Changbin doesn’t seem to mind, as he stops in front of Chan with a dazzling grin on his face.
“I’m going to the gym now, wanna join?” He offers, the bag strapped to his chest a clear indication of such. Chan smiles, as always, at the feeling of being wanted. He sits up slightly straighter, looking up at Changbin through his long lashes. He sees the werewolf shift, but his grin doesn’t falter.
“What kind of day is it?” He questions, feeling the couch behind him move somewhat. He feels Hyunjin’s head nuzzle into his back, his cold body pressing itself against him. Chan doesn’t mind, as he takes on the added weight easily.
“Arms and chest”. Changbin responds, puffing out his chest in a silly manner. Chan chuckles, lilting his head to one side. He was so endeared, Chan realises, by everything Changbin was.
“Nah, I did that yesterday”. Chan shakes his head, dismissing the werewolf kindly. Changbin’s smile doesn’t fall, no, it widens instead. He jumps, leaning down so his face is inches away from Chan’s. Chan’s breath leaves him suddenly, as he finds himself staring into the eyes of a beast.
“That’s fine, don’t forget to take it easy, okay?” He states, the words not said ringing in the walls of Chan’s heart. Take care of yourself, I worry about your health. It’s simple, really, but it makes Chan feel like the ground has caved opened beneath him. He nods once, watching Changbin’s wide smile turn into something fonder. He reaches out, placing a hand on Chan’s head.
“Just call me if you need anything”. He whispers, like a warm cup of coffee on a cold winters day. Chan breathes out, feeling his healing ribs ache with the motion. He counts his lucky stars once more, but nothing in the universe could compare to this moment right here.
Nothing at all.
“I will” he promises, and for the first time in his life, he means it.
————
“Pass me the salt”. He hears Seungmin demand, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Chan does so easily, standing in the kitchen with the dragon as he cooks up a hefty meal. Chan presses himself against the counter, folding his arms over his chest in a casual motion.
“When are you going to be done?” Jeongin groans, standing opposite Chan with a lopsided smile on his face. He’s staring directly at him, his jest one that Chan can recognise. However, to Seungmin, it sounds like a genuine question.
The dragon whips around to face the man, lips pressed thinly in annoyance.
“Pipe down, I’m almost done”. He bites out, shaking his head in slight contempt. “It’s not my fault Minho hyung is busy working all the time now”. He murmurs, sending Chan a sharp glare that Chan knows he doesn’t mean. He laughs instead, moving ever closer to the deadly dragon.
“I’m sorry, okay? It’s good though, Minho’s doing a wonderful job”. Chan states, voice high and adoring. Seungmin all but sighs, glancing up at Chan with a drowsy look in his eyes.
“I know he is. I mean, he’s already managed to change so much. I guess I just, I miss him sometimes”. Seungmin shrugs, and it feels like a million daggers piercing themselves into Chan’s heart. He peers over at Jeongin then, looking for a remedy. He doesn’t give him one, looking just as lost as Chan feels. He supposes not even oracles have the answers to everything.
“I miss him too, we all do”. Chan begins, laying a gentle hand on Seungmin’s back. He sees his tail being to move, its scaly appearance cold as it slithers up Chan’s legs. It’s comforting all the same, as he basks in the cool touch of a dragon. “But, we’ll see him soon. It’ll be okay, as long as we’re together, everything will be okay”.
Seungmin pauses for a moment. It feels like eternity, like the endless fields Sang Je had shown him once. Never ending, always out of reach. He grasps them now, in the corners of his mind. He takes them into his tight fists, clenching the life that he has with a force that rattles the very foundations of his world. Chan supposes he loves his life, despite his clenched fists.
“Okay, okay, I get it”. Seungmin laughs lightly, shrugging Chan’s hand off of him. He looks over then, and it’s gratitude that Chan sees, almost as tangible as his own. “Thanks” Seungmin says quietly, turning to face the stove once more.
Chan holds on to eternity, the continuous fields a reminder that forever is possible. This will exist forever. His love will do the unfathomable. He will exist forever, as long as his love carries on.
Sang Je smiles, for he knows it to be true. He sees Jeongin smile too, for he knows it to be sacred.
“I’m going to the bathroom, don’t let it get burnt”. Seungmin warns, throwing his index finger and shoving it in Chan’s face. Chan laughs, pushing it away gently. He raises his hands in surrender, watching Seungmin’s figure retreat further into the house.
“When are you going to tell him?” Jeongin asks, his eyes like a gateway into another world. Chan stops, feeling the moment eclipse everything he’s ever known. He clears his throat, and it sounds horrid coming from him.
“Soon” is all Chan says. He hears Jeongin hum, sees his hands as they fidget on the counter awkwardly. Chan knows he wants to say more, so he lets the silence prolong between them.
The Fates look down on them with a frown, the inevitable is coming. Jeongin knows, Chan knows too.
“I think he’d be happy to go to Banyabong with you”. The oracle utters, ever so wise. Chan can’t help the light chuckle that escapes him, as he stares at the vastness that makes up Jeongin. He sees it all, the three pairs of hands that cling to his shoulders, the whispers in his ears, the eyes on his back. It must be daunting, it must be terrifying. Chan feels so proud.
“You’re lucky no one’s found you out yet”. Chan teases, knocking his shoulder into Jeongin’s. It feels like a cardinal sin, to be called out on an action so tender. So, Chan jokes, hoping to push away the embarrassment that threatens to redden his cheeks. Jeongin shakes his head lightly, but the smile on his face washes away the grime in Chan’s heart.
“I’m serious, he always talks about how much he misses flying”. The man rolls his eyes then, bemoaning the words of his best friend. Chan knows he doesn’t mean it, and is eternally grateful that he does.
“I’ll tell him tonight”. Chan declares, and it binds them together like the universe.
Jeongin knows what happens next. Chan doesn’t, but he doesn’t need to know. They have each other, and as far as Chan is concerned, that’s all that matters.
Sang Je laughs, and so do the Fates. They’ve heard this a million times before.
————
Han is sitting beside him, the air bellowing gently. Chan breathes, and it feels like the first breath he’s taken in years.
“I love you”.
Chan turns to face the werewolf, eyes wide as they stare at his profile. They were on a hike, one of those impromptu ones that always had Chan questioning why he ever bothered with Han in the first place. The sun was setting, steeping their surroundings in a haze of orange and pink. They were sat atop a hill, their unopened water bottles glistening as beads of water formed on their outer wall. Chan tries not to gape, as he watches the sun caress the edges of Han’s face.
“I love you”. Han repeats, louder this time. Chan snaps his mouth shut, feeling the soft grass beneath them. “I don’t think any of us have said this yet, but we really do love you”.
“I know”. Chan blurts out, and it feels slightly silly saying it now. He sees Han shake his head, turning his body so as to face Chan entirely. He was being serious, the furrow in his brow and the slight pout on his lips a clear indication of this. Chan stares, allowing the evening breeze to bite at his bones.
“We have so much time ahead of us, time we get to spend together as a family. It’s the first time I’ve been this excited to be alive. So I love you, and I have so much to thank you for. I love you, hyung”. Han breathes out, and it echoes in every lifetime. Chan places an arm around Han’s shoulder, dragging the younger man to his chest. He feels Han nuzzle into him, the warmth of a werewolf like a furnace in this heat. Chan doesn’t mind, he can barely even feel it.
“I love you too”. Chan replies, and the world shifts with his honesty. Chan can taste it on his tongue, the truthfulness of his words. They coat his heart, drenching his insides in something so adorning, it rattles his ribs.
Chan feels like a new dawning, the beginning of another day. It shines on him brightly, the light of the seven men he now gets to call home. Nothing could be better than this, no Godhood, no glory. Nothing could be better than holding Han, or Felix, or Hyunjin, or any of them in his arms. Nothing could be better than hearing them say “I love you” or “I need your help”. Nothing could be better than getting to live out the rest of his days with the people he loves most in this world.
Chan was only human, after all. He had always known that in a world as peculiar as his, he was the least interesting thing about it. He was not made of fire or pixie dust, he was not called upon by the moon or the ocean. He was just a human man with a human soul.
Chan smiles, and knows that's more than enough now.