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Ghosts?? Hahahhaha what are you talking aboouut

Summary:

This came to me in a cold daydream so new timeline chatfic where it’s all bonkers and Teru runs shit

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Stfu teru

Chapter Text

Teru Minamoto created a groupchat

Teru Minamoto named the groupchat “Kamomes stinky students”

Teru Minamoto added 4 users

Teru Minamoto: wsg mamas

Akane Aoi: what the fuck.

Kou Minamoto: Why did you even make this????

Teru Minamoto: felt silly

Aoi Akane: hiiiii!!

Nene Yashiro: HIII AOI!!!! 🍓🎀💖💖

Teru Minamoto: I CANNOT keep track of these names y'all

Teru Minamoto changed 5 nicknames

the coolest 😎: there.

boyliker3000: that is so untrue

boyliker3000 changed 1 nickname

glow in the dark bugeyes: how could you Kou!!?!?!!?

queen: that is quite funny

the little mermaid bad ending: I have no idea what’s going on 

gniger 🙁: what does this even mean

boyliker3000: we should probably say who we are because SOMEONE made weird nicknames 

glow in the dark bugeyes: L bozo 

glow in the dark bugeyes:anyway I’m Teru

gniger 🙁: we can tell

gniger 🙁: akane 👓

queen:ao-chan!!! 💖

the little mermaid bad ending: nene-chan!!!💖 (Teru minamoto when I catch you Teru minamoto)

glow in the dark bugeyes: 🫡

boyliker3000: Kou Minamoto, unfortunately

queen: ah!! Teru-kuns little brother, right?

boyliker3000: yes 🙁

the little mermaid bad ending: so Kou-kun about your nickname..

boyliker3000: I have no idea who you are senpai but no. Just no.

glow in the dark bugeyes: Kou add your little person friends this chats too small

boyliker3000: fine give me admin 

glow in the dark bugeyes has given one(1!!!!!!!) admin

boyliker3000 added 3 users

boyliker3000 has changed 2 nicknames

tweedledum: Yokoooooo at your service!!

tweedledee: Satooouuu reporting for duty!!

Sousuke Mitsuba: what the ever loving skibidi toilet

boyliker3000: I knew they were in sync but not THAT in sync 

tweedledum: so a groupchat filled with Kous brothers friends…

tweedledee: how interesting…

tweedledum: nice nickname Kou very accurate 

tweedledee: we need one for Sousuke

tweedledum changed 1 nickname

tweedledum: now you and Kou are matching!!

boykisser69420:I hate all of you so much.

boyliker3000: the feelings mutual

boykisser69420: u still coming over later?

boyliker3000: duh

the little mermaid bad ending: huh so they’re homo in this timeline…

boyliker3000: what timeline?

glow in the dark bugeyes: NOTHING

Chat: Trio so good we’re the only ones who remember

aois wife: that was close sorry!!

aois fiancée: good thing I’m here as normal

aois hubby:

your biological mother is dead cause whenever you were born they had to cut her in half just to get you out. you need to sleep downstairs due to if you slept upstairs the floor would give in. you’ve never been anywhere above the ground floor cause you sink the ground in everytime you move. your legs had to be reenforced with metal as whenever you first tried to stand up your legs shattered. there is a built in crane outside of your house as you cannot get out of bed without it. you have had 153 cranes throughout your 17 years of life as they keep snapping due to how fucking fat you are. your “mom” had to hire a champion bodybuilder to bring you home after you were born. you’ve only ever been swimming once because the first time you jumped into water whenever you were 4 you caused a tsunami that wiped out a whole city. the ground floor is reenforced with metal but even then you leave dents with every crane-assisted step. your dad was suffocated to death because he couldn’t escape your two hundred and fourteenth fat roll. the only reason your mum hasn’t left is she’s terrified that you’ll eat her just like how you ate your brothers. whenever you sneeze the pure amount of SNOT that comes out is enough to smother someone which is how your first and last babysitter died. the first time you sat down you caused an earthquake so large that the earth was spilt in half. now everyone is dying and it was because your fat ass couldn’t stop eating. in conclusion you are the fattest fuck to ever exist in the history of the universe, i’d say to ever walk but that would be a lie almost as fat as you are.

aois wife: stop using copypastes you aren’t cool Akane 😭

Notes:

This is genuinely atrocious I love it