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All he does is walk down the stairs. It isn’t like he tries to do a cartwheel or something equally foolish. He simply walks down the staircase one morning… and slips.
And Norman loses his balance, arms flailing in a futile attempt to catch himself on the banister before he lurches forward and tumbles down the stairs. He was only on the second step from the bottom when he slipped, a fall that would probably only result in a sprained ankle for someone forty years younger than him. But Norman isn’t that young. So, when his feet touch the ground, his legs collapse under him and send him crashing to the floor.
He lands on his side, his hip taking the brunt of the fall, and Norman feels his brittle bones crunch as he hits the ground. Less than a second later, pain explodes through his body, radiating down his leg and up his side, agony blaring inside him like an alarm. A loud, cracking scream escapes him, unable to do anything other than lay there and try not to vomit from the pain. Tears burn behind his eyes, but Norman tries his best to hold them back.
“What’s going on out there?” Rose calls from the dining room. From his position on the floor, Norman watches her fling the doors open, gasping when she seems him crumpled at the foot of the stairs. “Oh, my goodness, Norman!” She rushes toward him, dropping to her knees at his side. “Mister Blum, I need your help!”
Within seconds, Norman hears worried voices call out from throughout the house. People start to appear, looming in Norman’s peripheral vision as they watch him tremble in a heap on the ground. He wants to tell them to go away, but Norman can’t find his words. He can barely remember to breathe.
“It’s going to be okay, Norman,” Rose says, putting a hand on his arm. “Just stay calm for me. Where does it hurt?”
“M-My…” Norman’s voice cracks, a lump forming in his throat with the effort of holding back tears, and he blinks rapidly to stop them falling. “I…” A whimper escaping him, Norman’s vision blurs as the tears brim. It seems he can’t hold them back any longer. And so, to his embarrassment, Norman lets out a sob as tears trickle down his face. But even as his clammy face burns with humiliation, letting himself cry seems to let Norman talk without his words getting stuck. So, he manages to splutter out, “My hip…”
“Oh fuck!” Blum yells as he hurtles down the stairs, still carrying the tools he must have been using to fix something (Norman isn’t sure what, because the nursing home is falling apart, so Blum could have been in literally any room patching something up). Luckily, he manages to get down the stairs without falling (unlike Norman), carefully stepping around Norman and staring at the scene before him. He says something in Russian, probably a swearword, and says to Rose, “What happened?”
“He fell,” Rose says. “I think he’s broken his hip.”
“Shit,” Blum says. “Should we be calling an ambulance?”
Rose nods. “Definitely. There’s nothing we can do if it’s a fracture. Can you get some blankets, something to keep him comfortable on the floor? I’ll call the ambulance.”
“Sure, I can do that,” Blum says, hurrying away.
As Rose fishes her cell phone from her pocket, Norman hears heavy footsteps from somewhere in the house. He jumps at the sound, the action jarring his broken hip and making him cry even harder. But he soon recognises a voice that brings a smile to his face—a smile that soon turns into a grimace, but a smile nonetheless.
“Norman!” Ahti shouts, hurrying toward him. Ahti was outside taking a stroll, because Norman had seen him out the window and planned to join his partner in the yard when he came downstairs… but, of course, that never happened. But that means he couldn’t have heard Norman scream from outside. Did someone else go fetch Ahti? Or does he have some sort of sixth sense to tell when Norman is hurt? “Jumalauta…”
Completely ignoring Rose, Ahti sits down on Norman’s other side, staring at him. Norman can’t quite read the expression on his partner’s face. Is he upset? Scared? Angry at himself for not being there when Norman fell? Or perhaps some strange combination of all three.
“Oh, Norman,” Ahti says. His hands find Norman’s trembling fist, lifting Norman’s hand, and resting it in his lap. He clasps Norman’s hand between both of his own, rubbing Norman’s cold, sweaty hand between his warm, calloused palms.
Norman barely notices Blum covering him with a blanket and Rose talking to the ambulance dispatcher on her cell phone, overwhelmed with pain. He starts to wish he could pass out, just to give him some respite from the agony. But he stays conscious.
“Deep breaths, rakkaani,” Ahti says.
And Norman tries. He really does. But as he sobs and whimpers in agony, he struggles to inflate his lungs enough to take a deep breath. He just keeps shuddering and hyperventilating, unable focus on anything other than the nauseating pain.
“I… I…”
“Shh…” Ahti whispers, stroking Norman’s hand with his thumb. “Just breathe. It’s okay. Emergency does not look like this.”
Another sob escapes Norman, his breaths shallow and ragged. He hates himself for sobbing in front of everyone, even though Norman knows there is nothing wrong with crying (but just like how he used to feel about his sexuality, there is a difference between Norman accepting something in general, and accepting that thing about himself), but he can’t stop.
As Norman cries, Ahti looks down at him, taking a deep breath. And then, to the surprise of everyone in the hallway, Ahti begins to sing.
“Kuin painajainen, hän luoksesi saapuu
Hänet verhottu on varjojen kaapuun
Monta tarinaa hänest kerrotaan
Häntä pakoon et pääse sä milloinkaan…”
Norman knows these lyrics. How could he not? After all, they’re from Nightless Night, the song Ahti always chooses when they get out the karaoke machine at Suomi Hall. Of course, he doesn’t know what those lyrics mean, but that doesn’t matter. All he cares about is Ahti’s beautiful and soothing singing voice.
And as he listens, Norman focuses entirely on Ahti’s voice and the hands clasping his own, losing himself in the song. Ahti stares into Norman’s eyes, his voice so soft and soothing as he sings and sings, and Norman manages a weak smile even through his tears. Blum talks to him, and Rose keeps speaking into her phone, but Norman doesn’t really process what they say. He just focuses on Ahti’s voice.
And when the song finishes, something occurs to Norman. Amazingly, he feels a little better. It still hurts—fuck it hurts worse than anything he’s ever felt in his life—but… he can breathe a little easier. He certainly feels like he will no longer faint from hyperventilating. Honestly, it is kind of spooky how soothing Ahti’s voice can be. It’s like his partner’s singing is magical or something. Although that can’t possibly be true. And even if it was, Norman isn’t complaining. Not when Ahti singing to him stopped him from panicking until he had a goddamn heart attack.
“Okay, an ambulance is on its way,” Rose says, slipping her phone back into her pocket. “Just hold on, Norman. Help will be here soon.”
And Norman just sniffs and prays that she is correct.
---
It feels like an eternity, but eventually the paramedics arrive. The pain clouds Norman’s mind, so Rose and Blum explain the problem to the paramedics, all whilst Ahti holds his hand, rubbing his thumb against Norman’s knuckles. Norman’s palm must be drenched in cold sweat, but Ahti never lets go.
When they offer him something for the pain, Norman nearly bursts into tears again from sheer relief, trying to nod but just banging the back of his head against the floor. Thankfully, the paramedic understands, and soon a needle slips into a vein on the back of Norman’s hand. He isn’t a stranger to this, but usually it hurts—right now, though, he doesn’t feel a thing. The pain of the needle just gets drowned out by the pain radiating from his hip.
As the painkillers travel through his body, the paramedics bustle around him, taking his blood pressure and checking him over for other injuries. His elbow on the same side as his busted hip will probably bruise quite badly, but doesn’t seem broken. Again, Norman can’t feel that pain, not with the other agony overwhelming it.
Within minutes, the painkillers begin to work, numbing the pain enough for Norman to no longer wish someone would kill him just to make it stop. The drugs only take the edge off the excruciating pain, but Norman will take that.
Once they’ve done all their tests, the paramedics move him onto a stretcher. They’re so careful not to jog his injured hip, but it still hurts, and Norman bites back a scream, squeezing Ahti’s hand hard enough to bruise. His partner doesn’t complain. No, Ahti is too busy telling the paramedics to be more careful, interspersed with Finnish curse words. He’s so protective. If he could move, Norman would give Ahti a kiss right now.
As they lift the stretcher and rest it atop a gurney, one of the paramedics turns to Rose and says, “Who’ll be accompanying him? Is anyone here his next of kin?”
Norman manages to snort. His next of kin would be his son Richard, who lives over ten hours away by car. And that is hardly someone who could appear right now to climb into the ambulance beside his injured father.
“No,” Rose says, frowning in thought. “I could do it, though. I work here. So, I could—”
“I’m going,” Ahti says, folding his arms across his chest. “Perkele, there is no way you are leaving me here.”
“Sorry, who are you?” the paramedic says as her partner looks like he would very much like to take their patient to hospital already.
“He… he’s my p-partner,” Norman gasps, hating how weak he sounds. But to be fair, he is in an unimaginable amount of pain, and up to his eyeballs on drugs right now.
For a moment, Norman worries this might launch into an argument about only married partners being allowed to ride with patients (or even worse, someone being a jerk about his partner being a man), but the paramedic just nods and says, “Okay, fine. Come with us.”
And the paramedics waste no time wheeling Norman down the hallway, Ahti jogging to keep up.
“Phone us when you get news, Ahti!” Blum calls after them.
“See you soon, Norman!” Rose adds.
And Norman keeps his eyes on Ahti as they lift him into the ambulance, remembering how Ahti sang to him and letting that strangely calming effect soothe him even now.
---
Norman doesn’t remember much of the ambulance ride, high on painkillers and trying to focus on Ahti’s hand, because he refuses to let go of Norman’s hand the entire time. Arriving at the hospital is veiled in a similar haze, overwhelmed by all the voices and the blinding strip lights overhead and the slightly nauseating sway of the gurney, but Norman comes back to himself a little when they wheel him into a booth in the ER. Instantly, Ahti appears at his side again, clasping Norman’s hand.
“You are doing so well, sydänkäpy,” he says, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Norman’s clammy forehead. “Just hold on.”
Norman tries to smile, so grateful for Ahti’s support. “Th-Thank you. I love you, A-Ahti.”
Ahti kisses his forehead again, squeezing Norman’s hand. “I love you too.”
When a nurse arrives, Ahti steps helpfully out of his way, but he never leaves the booth. And if Norman glances over at him, Ahti smiles and waves in such an adorable way that Norman would laugh in any other circumstance.
Norman struggles to focus on the nurse’s words, the pain and drugs giving him terrible brain fog. But he manages to give the man his name, date of birth and place of residence, and explain that he fell down the stairs. Thankfully, he doesn’t need to say much more, because a quick examination shows the nurse agrees with the paramedics and thinks he’s got a broken hip. And so, Norman finds himself being wheeled off for an X-ray.
And a few minutes later, as he and Ahti wait for the results of the X-ray back in the ER, he gets to look at a photo of his own broken hip. A fracture that, according to the radiologist, will need to be fixed with surgery.
Hearing that makes Norman’s chest tighten. He is no stranger to surgery, but the anxiety it causes him never gets better. Being taken into the operating room is terrifying, and he always fears that he won’t wake up again. Plus, recovering from the drugs always makes him feel really sick. But he needs the surgery. He saw his X-ray, and even Norman can tell that fracture won’t heal properly without help.
“Everything will be fine, rakkaani,” Ahti says as though he can sense Norman’s fear. “And I’ll be there when you wake up.”
“Promise?” Norman mumbles, aware how childish he sounds.
Leaning down, Ahti gives him a kiss on the lips. “Promise,” he whispers. “It is not time for you to throw your crankshaft.”
As Norman tries to work out what that even means, Ahti chuckles and kisses him again. “See you later, Norman.”
Norman does his best to smile as they wheel him away from his partner, but the expression falters when Ahti leaves his line of sight. Still, as they take him into the operating room and lift him onto the bed and fit a mask over his mouth, Norman keeps his focus on Ahti. And his partner’s beautiful smile is the last thing he pictures before he falls asleep.
---
Norman awakes slowly, numb and groggy and exhausted. His eyelids flicker, his eyes struggling to adjust to the bright lights in the room. Glancing around, Norman recognises his surroundings as a recovery room. So, the surgery was a success. And he woke up, just like Ahti said he would.
Speaking of his partner, Ahti sits on a chair beside his bed. A magazine lies open on Ahti’s lap, but he doesn’t read it. Instead, he looks at Norman, smiling when Norman meets his gaze.
“Welcome back, Norman,” Ahti says. He drags his chair closer to the bed, resting a hand on Norman’s arm.
“Hi, Ahti,” Norman mumbles, his voice a little slurred.
“How are you feeling?”
Norman blinks slowly. “Tired…”
“You look it,” Ahti says with a cheeky smile.
“Charming,” Norman says, but he chuckles.
“To be serious, though…” Ahti gives his arm a gentle squeeze. “Perkele, I am so glad you’re okay.”
Norman smiles. “Me too. Thank you for being here.”
“No need to thank me,” Ahti says. “I want to be here, rakkaani.”
His smile broadens, although the expression is soon ruined when Norman yawns. The action makes Ahti yawn too, and Norman chuckles at the sight. Ahti raises an eyebrow, but he chuckles too. God, Norman loves him so much.
Norman knows he has a long hospital stay and an even longer recovery in front of him, one sure to be filled with pain and many, many challenges. But with Ahti by his side, Norman knows he can do it. He wants to visit the sauna with Ahti again, or take a stroll through the yard, or watch Ahti perform at Suomi Hall. And he’ll do his best to recover so he can do those things again.
And he knows that Ahti will help him every step of the way.