Chapter Text
The day after Christmas was unexpectedly hectic. Nancy woke up in a sweat at 4 in the morning and she was in incredible pain. She had been having contractions for the past few weeks, but her doctor said that it was relatively normal this far into the pregnancy. What she was feeling that morning, however, was far beyond what she had been feeling. She knew in her gut that it was time. The baby was coming and the baby was coming today.
She hurried out of bed and out into the living room. Ted was asleep on the couch, snoring. She still didn’t have a car, and she was not about to call an ambulance to go to the hospital, so Ted was her best shot. She shook him awake by his shoulder.
He roused from his sleep groggily.
“Nancy? What’s wrong?” He asked, fumbling to grab his glasses from the coffee table.
“I need you to drive me to the hospital.” She said hurriedly. “Please.” She tacked on, worried that the first sentence sounded too demanding.
Nancy could have laughed out loud at the panicked expression that grew on Ted’s face. He shot up on the couch, finally finding his glasses and clumsily shoving them onto his face.
“Do you have a bag? Your mother always had a bag.” He asked so quickly his words jumbled together slightly.
Nancy shook her head. “No. What’s supposed to be in the bag?”
She hadn’t known that there was supposed to be some bag that she brought with her. She had meant to do some research into baby stuff, but with class and everything, she hadn’t had time. (At least, that’s what she told herself. In reality, she tried to forget that she was pregnant every chance she could.)
Ted shrugged in an exaggerated fashion. “I don’t know! Your mother always packed it. My only job was to grab it!”
“Shit.” Nancy mumbled, making her way over to the phone.
She hoped that her mom was awake at this time of the morning. She dialed the number and tapped her foot impatiently as it rang. Just when she thought that nobody was going to pick up, her mom’s groggy voice answered the phone.
“Hello?” She said, obviously having just woken up.
“Hey, Mom. Sorry to wake you up, I just had an urgent question.”
“Is everything okay?” Her mother sounded much more alert now, and Nancy felt terrible for waking her up and sending her into mom-panic mode.
“Yeah, everything is fine. I just need to know what you kept in that bag you brought with you to the hospital when you were having Holly.” She asked. She flinched and took a deep breath as she felt another contraction.
“Are you going to the hospital right now?”
Nancy hesitated. She didn’t want her mom to worry, she was sure she had enough to worry about.
“Yes.” She finally answered quietly.
“Don’t worry about the bag, honey. Just go to the hospital. Do you have anybody to drive you?”
“Um, yeah. Dad is going to.”
“Your father is there?” Karen asked, confusion evident in her tone.
“It’s a long story.”
“You can tell me later. Just make sure you have a car seat to bring her home in.”
“Shit! I forgot about a car seat.” Nancy was kicking herself at how unprepared she was. She was normally not like that. She was normally the one with everything planned out.
“Nancy, it’s okay. Take a deep breath. You can have a friend pick one up for you later today, or you can send your father out for one. Just focus on getting to the hospital right now.” Her mother responded calmly.
Her assurance did wonders at calming Nancy enough to think.
“Okay, I love you.”
“I love you, too. Have your father call me once you get to the hospital.”
---
The entire time she’s at the hospital is a painfully long blur. She had always thought maybe people exaggerated how painful childbirth was but now she’s sure she’d rather take on the demogorgon than do that again (That may be an exaggeration of her own, but she wouldn’t deny that the thought crossed her mind.)
A few excruciating hours later, a baby was being set on her chest. Her baby. She could have cried right there if she wasn’t so exhausted. She stared down at her daughter. Nancy was a firm believer that all babies were at least a little bit ugly, but in that moment she had never seen one so beautiful.
They took her off of Nancy’s chest to do some newborn tests and clean her up a little bit and all Nancy wanted was for them to put her back in her arms.
---
The nurses let her rest for a bit before they made her fill out the paperwork that comes with having a baby. It wasn’t much, just the birth certificate and a few other papers. But with filling out the birth certificate came finally putting a name to the baby. Nancy had thought about what she wanted to name her, sure, but now that she was born, none of the names she had come up with felt like they had fit.
She looked over at the baby, sleeping in a hospital bassinet, and sighed.
“What is your name?” She whispered to herself.
Finally, she wrote out her daughter’s name for the first time.
Elizabeth Barbara Wheeler.
She hoped the girl would cherish her name as she grew older. Maybe one day, when she was older, Nancy would tell her the story of her friend who she named her after. Maybe then it would mean as much to Elizabeth as it meant for Nancy to give it to her.
Sitting with her newborn in the hospital room, Nancy cried. Barb would never get to have an experience like this. She wouldn’t get to have so many experiences. Nancy would be lying if she said she didn’t still feel responsible. She’d be lying if the wound of Barb's death didn’t feel just as fresh every time Nancy thought of her. But all she could do was honor her anyway she could. Nancy thought if she were here she would feel especially honored to be a part of her daughter’s namesake. Or, at least Nancy hoped she would.
---
Jonathan and Karen both flew in the day after Elizabeth was born. Karen had called Jonathan the second she had gotten off the phone with Nancy that morning and both of them had been quick to book flights. Nancy felt terrible that they had to fly out given the fact that it was right after Christmas and the tickets probably cost them an arm and a leg.
Ted continued to stay with Nancy for the week. Nancy was still pretty skeptical about Ted’s reformation, but he offered to help put together the crib with Jonathan while Nancy was in the hospital, so who was Nancy to turn down that kind of help.
Karen was out getting some food when Sarah called from Baltimore to check in on Nancy and say congratulations. The phone call was brief and Nancy could hear who she assumed were Sarah’s brothers arguing loudly in the background.
When they hung up, Nancy was alone with Elizabeth. Truly alone with her. Up until that point, there had always been another person in the room. Sometimes a friend or family member, most of the time a nurse who was in and out. But now it was just her and Elizabeth. Just the two of them. It occurred to her again that this was a person that she was responsible for the safety of.
She was thankful to be in Boston instead of Hawkins. Boston felt like a sanctuary compared to Hawkins. She could breathe in Boston. The air wasn’t sullied by death and tragedy. Hawkins was a graveyard. A graveyard where you never knew the next headstone that would be placed. She could keep her daughter safe in Boston, she was confident in that. She couldn’t have the same confidence in Hawkins.
Elizabeth stirred from her sleep, fussing softly. Nancy gently lifted her from the hospital bassinet. She held her, swaying softly. She remembered vaguely that when her siblings were little that her mom would hum Silent Night to them when they cried. It had always worked so well, so Nancy began to hum. Elizabeth calmed, either from the humming or just being held. Either way, it provided Nancy with a much needed boost of confidence. Maybe she could do this?
---
The confidence boost unfortunately did not last long. It had been a week since she was discharged from the hospital with Elizabeth. Her family had gone home, while Jonathan elected to stay for the rest of his winter break. Nancy let him sleep on her couch, grateful for the help her first week home with the baby.
Jonathan, it turns out, slept through the baby’s cries easily. If Nancy wanted help, she had to go over to the couch and shake him awake. Even though he had assured her it was okay hat she woke him up, Nancy still felt guilty for doing so. She knew that Elizabeth should be his responsibility too, but part of her felt that it was just easier to just get up and tend to her rather than waking up Jonathan,
Elizabeth had been extremely fussy the past day, and Nancy didn’t really have enough time with her to know for sure if this was going to be a pattern of behavior. Elizabeth had been changed, had been fed, and Nancy had been holding her nonstop. She was still crying, though. Nancy wasn’t sure what she was doing wrong. All she knew was that she was exhausted and that the baby would not stop crying. Nancy was about a minute away from crying herself.
She didn’t cry, though. Partially because she was afraid that her crying would somehow make Elizabeth’s crying worse. But, also because she felt like if she cried now, what did that say about her as a mother? If she was breaking down at the first hard night she had, how was she going to deal with the rest of the hard nights? How was she going to handle it if Elizabeth just turned out to be a fussy baby? What if every night was like this? Right now, she could at least go tag in Jonathan and take a break if she needed to. What would happen when she couldn’t? What about when it was just her and the baby?
At some point, while Nancy was spiraling, Elizabeth had calmed down and fallen asleep. Nancy sighed in relief and gently laid her back down in her crib. Rather than go back to her room and go back to sleep, she sat down in the rocking chair and drifted off. Elizabeth woke up a few more times through the night, but was easily calmed back to sleep.
---
The next day, Nancy was on a mission. She had the phonebook out and was calling every daycare within walking distance of Emerson while Jonathan tended to Elizabeth. She needed to make sure that when school started back up next semester, she had a spot secured for Elizabeth at one of them. Part of her felt bad for putting her in daycare so soon, but she also realized that if she wanted to finish school, it was what she needed to do.
Around noon, she had called all but one of the daycares in the area with no luck. When she crossed off the name of the last one she had called, she sighed. Nancy let the pen fall out of her hand and hung her head down.
“You okay, Nancy?” Jonathan called from the hallway. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.
Nancy lifted her head and nodded.
“Yeah. Just stressed out. I just got a no from the tenth daycare I called. And now there is only one left that is close enough for me to drop her off and still make it to my 8:00 AM class next semester.” She responded.
Jonathan nodded sympathetically.
“Well, fingers crossed that this last one is a yes.” He said.
Nancy took a deep breath.
“Fingers crossed.” She responded.
She picked up the phone and dialed the final daycare in the immediate area’s number.
“We Care Daycare and Preschool, this is Hannah speaking. How can I help you?” A voice greeted cheerfully on the other end of the phone.
“Hi, I was looking to enroll my daughter in daycare. Do you happen to have any spots open for the new year?” Nancy politely asked, twisting the phone cord in her hand as she spoke.
“Hmm, I think at the moment we’re pretty full, but I can double check for you. How old will your daughter be in January?”
“Three weeks when classes start for me.” Nancy answered.
This was the farthest she’s gotten with any of the calls so far, so she was hopeful.
“Oh. Well, unfortunately, we only can enroll infants that are six weeks old or older. I’m sorry.”
Nancy deflated. “Oh, alright then. Thank you for your help.” She said, trying not to sound too disappointed.
Just as she was about to hang up, the girl on the other end stopped her.
“Wait,” She said. “We have one child that is moving from the infant room to the toddler room in February. I can get her registered and you can bring her in as soon as she is six weeks old, if that works for you.”
Nancy felt a shot of relief.
“That would be wonderful!” She said enthusiastically, not caring enough to cringe at how desperate she sounded.
“Great. You can come in on Tuesday to register her. Make sure you bring her birth certificate and get her immunization records to us as soon as possible. We’ll need those before she can start in February.”
“Got it! Thank you so much!” Nancy responded.
---
It wasn’t until later that it sunk in that Nancy had three weeks between classes start and when Elizabeth could go to daycare. Three weeks where she would have to find alternate arrangements for how she was going to have someone to watch her daughter while she was in class.
It’s not like she could rely on Jonathan, who would be on the other side of the country in a matter of a week. And her family was hours away, so they weren’t able to help. Nancy didn’t know of anyone else who could possibly watch Elizabeth.
Nancy had always been a planner, but it seemed like planning wasn’t an option. Instead, she’d have to play it by ear and hope that everything worked out, despite how terribly anxious that made her. After all, what other choice did she have?
---
“When are you guys coming up?” Nancy asked, twisting the phone chord between her fingers.
“We’re finishing packing tomorrow and leaving first thing the day after.” Robin replied, being unusually brief in her word selection.
That meant that Robin would be there in Boston with her in a matter of days (And Steve, too, she reminded herself).
The thought of her life in Hawkins colliding with her life in Boston was both exciting and terrifying. Exciting in the sense that there will be people around her that understand what she has been through. People that get anxiety. People that understand her “overreactions” to when the lights flicker. Terrifying in the sense that… Well, Nancy wasn’t quite sure what was so terrifying about Robin (and Steve) meeting her Boston friends. What was so terrifying about them meeting Sarah specifically? The more Nancy considered this, the more confusing it became, which was infuriating to her.
All Nancy knew for sure was that she wanted to see her friends, she wanted her different sets of friends to get along, and at the same time she wanted them to never meet, no matter how much those thoughts contradicted each other.
Finally, she responded to Robin.
“That’s great!” She said, smiling, “I can’t wait to see you. Both of you, I mean.”
“Ditto, Nance.” Robin replied. Nancy could hear the smile in the other girl’s tone, and that only made her own grow wider.
---
After she got off the phone with Robin, Nancy fed Elizabeth and sat with her in the rocking chair. She rocked slowly, humming while she did so. It was so calming, so relaxing. Nancy could almost forget the stress of the past few days. The last few months even. Everything had been hard, and Nancy knew it was only going to get harder from here on out. Her first thought was that it would be her and Elizabeth against the world, but then it occurred to her that that didn’t have to be the case. She had friends. Amazing friends. And with Steve and Robin coming to Boston, they would all be close.
Nancy had never liked the feeling of relying on others. Her father had raised her to be independent and “not take handouts”. He had said that nothing is given, only earned. But Nancy was starting to realize that there was nothing wrong with accepting a little bit of help when you needed it, and she thought that maybe Ted was on his way to realizing that as well.
She got up and laid Elizabeth in her crib, turning off the lamp that had dimly lit the room on the way out.
That night, as she tried to fall asleep in her bed, she listened to the sounds of occasional traffic outside of her window as the wind whistled softly. Nancy for once felt optimistic about the next portion of her life. She felt supported in a way that was foreign and unfamiliar to her.
A voice nagged in the back of her head, though. It insisted that nothing good lasts forever.
The other shoe had to drop.