Chapter Text
girlie pops
prong
i require help
homotron 3000
yes my love?
prong
i ate glass
remoose
now why would you do that
prong
it was an accident
cheese man
nice
homotron 3000
fair enough
remoose
not fair enough
are you bleeding or anything
i’m not in the mood for blood
cheese man
what an odd thing to say
prong
how rude
yes
*photo attachment*
homotron 3000
jesus christ
who has the car rn
remoose
for fuck sake prongs
i do
homotron 3000
im walking back from class now
cam you pick us up
cheese man
family field trip!!!
where we goin
runnijg back from coffe shop now
remoose
the hospital?!?!
have you not been paying attention?
cheese man
sorry sir
m a tad high
i heart weed
——————————
bros in black
reglos
why r u at the er??
siros
fuckinf stalker
reglos
answer the question dickhead
siros
jam ate glass
reglos
what?
is he ok?
why did he eat glass?
is he alright?
sirius
answer me
SIRIUS
siros
woah slow ur roll prince charming
why so concerned for mr jam?
i though you hated him? 🤨
reglos
just because i hate him doesn’t mean
that i cannot be concerned for his well-being
siros
or maybe you don’t hate him
ANS R ACTUALLY CONCERNED
BECOS U R IN LOV WITH HIM
reglos
fuck off
i hate him
i just happend to check the life360 circle
and was simply curious
siros
me when i lie
reglos
die
siros
🥰🥰🥰
———————-
moon & the stars
star boy
moony
moon man
mr moon mc moon
i can see you ignoring me
mooonyyy
moons
moon boy
sirius istg
what do you want
and if it’s to tell me ur hungry
i’m going to throw this shoe at ur fucking face
star boy
tsk tsk always with the violence
you know you should really get those anger issues checked out
moon boy
sirius
star boy
i apologise
stop staring at me like that it’s scary
now
to what i was trying to explain before….
*screenshot*
a certain soulless human seems quite distraught by a certain someone’s pain 😏
#iknewit
moon boy
pads stop being weird
it’s weird to see you wanting them to get together
thats ur brother and ur bestfriend
control urself
star boy
wow
first i have to ‘stop threatening to maim prongs’ when i read his super secret diary and find out he has a crush on my little brother
which by the way was not an invasion of privacy bc i thought it was his prank idea journal
not his yucky feelings one
and now i need to control myself when i stop that?
there’s just no winning with you is there 🙄🙄
moon boy
you look funny when u angry type
star boy
dick
moon boy
i do have one yes
star boy
ur so mean to me
im going to wake up wormy he is nice to me
moon boy
dont recommend it
star boy
and why is that
moon boy
he’s as dense as a bar of soap when he’s high and we have been in the waiting room for TOO MANY FUCKING HOURS
for me to have the patience to explain why he shouldn’t ask the old lady next to him if he can borrow her cane to do an impression of his grandma.
star boy
yiu know what
fair enough
—————————
children of hogwarts
jame
i have been released back into the wild
i’m here to bless you all with my presence
bart
idk abt anyone else
but i am not feeling very blessed rn
evie poo😘
#notblessed
fuckinf hell
who changed my name again
marlin
i agree #fuckujames
jame
oh marley poo
i would love to fulfil ur life
my heart is set on someone else
reginald
who
mr bark bark
awfully quick there reggie
lilibet
i agree with the furry
reginald
excuse me for joining in the conversation
mean librarian
not to fuel whatever is going on
but i agree with sirius as well
jame
hello?
reginald
ofc u would agree with sirius, remus.
jame
helooooo
mean librarian
what's that supposed to mean
mr bark bark
yeah what ahahah
reginald
you know exactly what i mean
jame
:(
pandoor
its ok i’m glad to hear from you james 💗
jame
WHY THANKYOU
i’m glad to know someone cares about my injuries 🥲
worm
my favourite super heor is megamind
that hoe has so many thoughts
mean librarian
james stfu
you deserve it
WHO TF ACCIDENTALLY EATS GLASS
bart
as much as i couldn’t care less
i would also like to know why you ate glass
dory
JAMES ATE GLASS WHAT
marlin
babe i literally told you ten minutes ago
dory
oh i thought you said he ate ass
reg ignore the texts i sent u then
jame
it all started on a warm summer day
reginald
its the middle of winter?
jame
yes yes darling i’m getting there
reginald
oh
ok
yep
evie poo😘
👀
deep breathe reginald darling
reginald
kys
jame
anyway
on said warm summer day i saw a tiktok where someone turned their salad dressing blue for more fun eating time!!
mr bark bark
yes as one does
jame
and today i was a little sad becos moony said no to my hug that morning
farmer mary
REMUS HOW COULD YOU
mean librarian
where did u even come from??
farmer mary
🤷🏼♀️
jame
sigh
ikr?
anyways
i used my amazing skills to make blue salad dressing
but then i realised i had no bowl #ikrthehorror
then i remembered everyone in this house is a slob so there are just no dishes
mr bark bark
prongs shut ur bitch ass up
it was literally ur day??
jame
semantics
lilibet
james please just finish your story.
jame
evans i am trying.
so as i was saying
washed up the dishes and made my salad then went to poor my blue dressing in
drinking water of course at the same time becos hydrate!!
and then realised i had been actually pouring dish soap in!!
mean librarian
JAMES PLEASE JUST TELL US WHY U ATE GLASS
jame
remus u must work on these anger issues
a good retell takes time sir
mean librarian
i’m going to suffocate you in ur sleep.
jame
no you won’t silly!!
you love me too much
worm
no i belieb him
once say remos glare at a bird so hard it fell out of the skie
reginald
yeah i could see that happening
jame
ANYWAYS
i was so bamboozeld by the dish soap that i dropped my glass of water
marlin
never use the word bamboozalsd again
jame
i was very sad then
no moony hug
no salad
glass all over the floor!!
but alas i pulled myself together and picked the glass up
and then i thought to mysef
i should put the glass in the salad so no one eats it!!
ans i did!!
but then i saw a bird outside and went to go take a picture
bart
like a child would do
jame
bur then i came inside and i was very hungry
and oh! what is this? a salad?
so i ate the glass salad
the end.
pandoor
lovely story james!!
farmer mary
james
jame
yes?
farmer mary
why didn’t you just
throw the salad away?
jame
oh
i didn’t think of that
dory
……
he didn’t think of it.
mean librarian
YOU DIDNT FUCKING THINK OF THROWING IT AWAY FUCKING HELL
JAMES WE SAT IN THE ER FOR 14 HOURS BC YOU DIDNT THINK OF THROWING IT AWAY?
worm
lol typical james
mr bark bark
its ok jamsie
common mistake! :)
lilibet
i can practically feel remus losing his will to live
marlin
i caNT BREAGHEB
THIS IS SO FUNNY HE PRACTICALLY ATE GLASS BC REMUS DIDNT HUG HIM
mean librarian
james
jame
yes moony my love?
mean librarian
im calling your mother.
evie poo😘
dear lord he pulled the effie card
jame
REMUS NO PLEASE I BEG OF YOU
mean librarian
it is too late
the deed has been done
reginald
sending my thoughts and prayers
jame
REMUS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE SHE IS CALLING
mr bark bark
may god have mercy on us all