Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

     Breathe in.

     Breathe out.

     Smile politely.

     Breathe in.

     Hold it together.

     Breathe out...

     "Bethy, are you even really listening to me?"

     Bethany blinked hard and turned to look at her best friend, who was narrowing her eyes.

     "I know you weren't," Vera continued, "because I just asked if you liked these socks and you gave an affirmative." She waved a horrible pair of orange and green argyle socks in front of Bethany's face. Bethany grimaced and gently pushed Vera's hand away.

     "Sorry, Vee," she sighed, shifting the pile of clothing she held to her other arm. "I'm more or less focusing on being a functioning person right now. It's taking a shocking amount of effort."

     "I know," Vera said, her tone softening considerably. "I'm sorry if this is still a bit out of your comfort zone. You had to get the hell out of that apartment, though. You were on the brink of turning into a goblin. Besides, surely you want to pick out something swanky to wear tomorrow night!" 

     Bethany's brow furrowed in confusion. "What's tomorrow night?" she asked, scouring her ragged memory for plans she might have made. 

     Vera's striking copper eyes nearly bulged from her skull. "Beth. Bethany Taylor Phillips. You have to be yanking my chain."

     "'Fraid not," Bethany shrugged.

     "The concert. The concert. The man who 'sings what your soul sounds like'."

     Oh. That.

     Bethany visibly deflated, looking skyward at the clothing boutique's artsy industrial lighting.

     "I can't go," she muttered, feeling her eyes already burning. "I can't, not now. Not without Mason."

     "Those tickets were his last gift to you, Bethy," Vera reasoned, lightly touching her friend's elbow. "He'd want you to go. He'd want you to have the time of your life. You might never get another chance to see-"

     "I'll just be miserable!" Bethany interrupted, more sharply than she'd intended. She grimaced and looked pointedly at the floor. "I'll end up crying all night. Those songs don't... They don't feel good anymore. Guess it still matches my soul, at least."

     "Hey, maybe that will be cathartic!" Vera said encouragingly. "Maybe if you go and feel your feelings and cry your heart out, you'll start to heal. I highly doubt you'd be the first person to have a big, sobby spiritual experience at the feet of Ville Valo."

     "Vera," Bethany said warningly.

     "His music makes you feel better, right?" Vera went on, determined to argue her point. "How many times have you dealt with difficult shit by shutting yourself in a room and listening to those old HIM albums? Hasn't it always helped? Was that not your self-described happy place?"

     "This isn't a break-up, Vee!" Bethany hissed, tears spilling onto her cheeks now. "It's not a bad day at work, it's not an argument with my family. Mason is dead. Dead. Forever. I don't think there's a musician on this earth that can fix that." She turned and began jerkily placing the dresses and tops she'd accumulated back on the rack, trying to swallow the sobs that threatened to bubble from her throat.

     "It's been almost a year, Bethy," Vera said helplessly, reaching out and grabbing Bethany's hand. "I'm not trying to tell you how to grieve or how long to grieve for, but I don't think you should miss this. Mace wouldn't want you to miss this. You can't stop living your life because his is over."

     Bethany glared at Vera for a long moment, every fiber of her being seeming to vibrate with anger and hollow, choking sadness. She wasn't sure she was capable of feeling anything else. She had a vague recollection of feeling joy and excitement a year ago, when Mason had shown her the ticket confirmation email, a wild grin on his face. They'd planned to go together, making a date night out of it even though it was mostly for her benefit. But then he died mere weeks later, and all the light and color in Bethany's world dissolved into murky gray nothingness.

     "Look," Vera huffed into the silence, "you can't possibly feel worse at this show than you do right this moment. If you end up not being able to handle it, you can leave early. I doubt you'll hurt Ville's feelings, big rockstar that he is. Alternatively, you might have a really, really great time. You won't know unless you give it a shot."

     Bethany chewed her lower lip, mulling it over. It was probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, considering that HIM had broken up some time ago and Ville was basically in semi-retirement. And if she didn't go, Mason's efforts for her would go to waste. The tickets had indeed been the final gift he'd given her. It would really bum him out if he saw her moping alone at home with the man she'd idolized for half her life performing mere miles away.

     "Fine," Bethany whispered, roughly wiping her tearstained face with the sleeves of her sweater. "I'll go. If you'll go with me."

     "Oh, honey," Vera laughed, "that was never in doubt. I may not necessarily vibe with the man's musical style, but I am always happy to gaze upon a beautiful male specimen."

     "No leering," Bethany groaned. "He's gotten enough of that his entire career, and I will be beyond salty if we get thrown out of this venue because you do something obscene."

     "I can be subtle!" Vera said with a wicked grin, linking her arm with Bethany's and steering her back towards the clothing displays. "Now pick out a nice outfit, I will not have my best friend going to this show looking like some sort of depressed bog hag. Speaking of which, after this, we're getting your hair done."

     Bethany at least had the presence of mind to groan inwardly this time, allowing her friend to drag her through the boutique and play the role of a life size Barbie doll. She could only hope that she wouldn't regret this entire venture too terribly.

Chapter Text

     "How do you feel?" Vera asked expectantly, hovering just over Bethany's shoulder. Bethany met her eyes in the mirror before turning her focus to her own reflection. 

     Her hair was once again cut short in her trademark boyish style, freshly dyed pitch black and carefully arranged to edgily frame her face. Her hazel eyes were ringed with smudgy dark eyeliner, complimented by a touch of eyeshadow the color of red wine. She wore a lip stain in a matching red, the shade striking next to her pale skin. Her outfit consisted of a charcoal gray T-shirt emblazoned with an image of a raven perched upon a skull, paired with light blue skinny jeans and her most well-loved sneakers. It was a simple outfit, not truly up to Vera's 'va va VOOM' standards, but it was meant for comfort and practicality at a show. Bethany couldn't fight the smile that slowly spread across her face.

     "I feel like me," she said softly. "It's been so long since I looked in the mirror and saw... me."

     Vera smiled widely and hugged Bethany from behind. "It's nice to have you back, sweet thing. Nothing like a fresh hairdo and new clothes to light a fire under your ass. You look great."

     "Thanks," Bethany said with a sheepish grin. "But look at us, all ready to go and we still have five hours until showtime." She glanced at her friend, who was dressed far more for fashion than function in a skintight black leather mini dress and absolutely deadly-looking stilletos. "You cannot possibly be comfortable. Or getting enough oxygen, is that a corset?" Vera just cackled, tossing her dark hair over her shoulder.

     "You act like I'm not a decorated clubbing veteran," she smirked. "Anyway, as for the time to kill, I thought we'd grab dinner before boogying over to the show. There's a killer sushi bar nearby that Vance took me to last week. I ate so much he basically had to roll me out the door."

     "Maybe don't do that tonight," Bethany laughed, checking her bag to make sure she had everything she'd need for the evening. "I don't want you busting a seam when you try to bust a move."

     "I promised you ladylike behavior tonight, didn't I, kitten?" Vera teased, fiddling with her labret piercing in the mirror. "No face stuffing. I'll even cross my ankles and put a napkin in my lap and everything, just you watch."

     "I'll be sure to mark this momentous occasion on my calendar," Bethany said dryly, moving to her desk in the corner of the room. Its entire surface was covered in textbooks and notes from her mortuary science classes, lacking any semblance of organization, and it made her cringe inwardly. She was barely scraping by in her courses, and she knew her professors, as obviously understanding of her situation as they were, weren't going to let her slide forever. Pushing that clusterfuck out of her mind, she bypassed the clutter and opened the bottom drawer on the right to pick up the envelope that held the concert tickets. Her heart thumped a little louder in her chest as she opened the envelope for the first time, thinking of Mason's excitement on the day it arrived. She'd refused to open it at the time, saying she didn't want to jinx the concert and end up with it being cancelled or something. He'd laughed at her weird superstition, but it certainly wouldn't have been the first time her concert dreams had been dashed in such a manner and she was taking no chances with this one.

     Peeking inside, she saw the two standard tickets for the venue, but also a sparkly black laminated card. Raising an eyebrow, she pulled the card out and her jaw dropped as she read the words "BACKSTAGE PASS" with her name underneath in a curly silver font.

     "What?" Vera demanded, freezing mid-lipstick touch up. "What is that face for?"

     Bethany wordlessly turned the card around to let Vera see, receiving a high-pitched shriek for her trouble.

     "YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS THERE?!" she exclaimed, yanking the pass from Bethany's hand and inspecting it closely. She flipped it to read the back. "'Please arrive at least one hour before the start of the show to present this pass to security and meet Ville and the band backstage.' Jesus Christ on a triscuit, Bethy! Didn't Mason tell you about this?"

     "N-no!" Bethany stammered, mouth still slightly agape. "They weren't even offering passes. Believe me, I looked! No VIP packages, no meet-and-greet, nothing. How... how the hell did he get this?"

     "Is there only one?" Vera asked, snatching the envelope from Bethany's fingers as well. "Why did he only get one? Didn't he want to go backstage too?"

     "HIM... Ville had always been more my thing," Bethany said softly. "Mason enjoyed the music just fine, probably wouldn't have been able to stand living with me if he didn't, but he wasn't like... dedicated."

     "Obsessed, you mean," Vera said knowingly, wiggling her eyebrows.

     "I'm not obsessed!" Bethany squeaked, feeling her face heat.

     "Don't bullshit a bullshitter, kitten," Vera taunted. "I had the privilege of seeing your bedroom in high school, I know whose pretty, pretty face decorated your walls-"

     "Seventeen years ago!" Bethany cried defensively, taking the envelope back and tucking the pass safely back inside. "I'm an adult now, thank you! I respect Ville as a human being and as a musician, I understand boundaries-"

     "Boundaries were made to be crossed!" Vera declared, her eyes positively glittering with mirth.

     "Oh, I am so glad there weren't two passes in here," Bethany said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You'd be absolutely insufferable."

     "Now, now," Vera tutted, grabbing her purse and slinging it over her shoulder, "you know I'm only teasing. Come on, let's go get dinner. You'll need your strength to keep you from swooning. Maybe there will be a fainting couch in the green room? Ville seems the type to request a fainting couch."

     "I will kill you," Bethany deadpanned. "And I know a few crematory operators who owe me favors."

     Vera simply winked and grabbed Bethany's hand, dragging her out of the apartment.

***

     "You weren't kidding, this sashimi is actually divine," Bethany said dreamily, delicately picking another piece of salmon from the dish in front of her.

     "I don't kid about food," Vera said primly, taking a sip from her glass of rosè. "It's a little on the pricey side, but worth it. Plus Vance paid for everything last time, so I went hard."

     "Where the hell does Vance even get his money from?" Bethany wondered, chewing thoughtfully. "He writes books. Shitty, smutty books. There's no way that actually rakes in the buckets of cash he always seems to have." Vera snorted.

     "Probably best not to ask too many questions," she said with a shrug. "And his books are NOT shitty. They are art."

     "You only say that because he's based a recurring character on you," Bethany said with a grin.

     "And what a wonderful character she is," Vera sighed, resting her chin on her hand. "Beautiful pirate queen Serena Cavo, breaking hearts and buckling swashes. Always ripping at least one bodice. Living her best life, truly."

     Bethany giggled and shook her head, gazing idly around the low-lit restaurant. It seemed they were surrounded by couples enjoying romantic dinners, and it made her heart squeeze painfully. Noticing her friend's wandering attention, Vera grabbed her hand across the table.

     "I can whisper sweet nothings to you, if it would make you feel better," she purred, fluttering her lashes. Bethany rolled her eyes.

     "You know it would never work between us darling," she drawled dramatically, kissing Vera's beringed knuckles. "Though I am, as always, flattered."

     "Suit yourself," Vera said airily, leaning back in her seat. Her expression changed to one of sympathy. "I know it's hard. I know what tonight was supposed to be like, and I'm a piss-poor substitute. But it will get better, I promise. The more you actually live your life again, the lighter the weight will become." She checked her phone and sighed. "Speaking of weight, if we sit here much longer I will order another royal boat for us and this dress will not be long for this world. Are you ready to see the infernal prince?"

     Bethany groaned and covered her face with her hands. "You're staying in the car. Do not even come inside the building until showtime. I'll leave the air conditioning running and play you some Enya to keep you calm. If you're good I might buy you a treat."

     "Woof, woof," Vera grinned, standing up and leaving a $20 bill on the table. She offered Bethany her hand and together they made their way to the door.

Chapter Text

     "We're still so early," Bethany said fretfully. Her phone told her it was 7 PM, two hours before Ville's show was set to start.

     "Hey, the pass said to arrive at LEAST an hour before lights up," Vera said, leaning casually against Bethany's beat up Kia and lighting a clove cigarette. "If anything, going in now is extremely polite. You'll have time to chat, and when you're all done Ville will still have time to do whatever weird pre-show rituals he likes to do."

     "What kind of weird rituals do you think he has?" Bethany asked, raising an eyebrow.

     "I don't know," Vera said, looking up at the twilight sky. "Maybe he stands on his head for twenty minutes, yells obscenities, sacrifices a virgin. Could be anything, really. Hey, that's actually a great, perfectly innocent question you can ask him for me!"

     "Sure," Bethany laughed, staring at the theater doors. "Better than 'hey Ville, what do you wear to bed?', I suppose."

     "Oh, that's a dumb question," Vera admonished, exhaling a cloud of smoke that smelled distinctly like Christmas. "You know the answer is 'nothing'. You just know."

     "Okay, fine, I'm going in," Bethany said, wrinkling her nose in feigned disgust. "I can't take another minute with you like this."

     "You know you adore me," Vera smiled, running her fingers through her hair. Her gold jewellery glowed prettily against her brown skin in the dying light as she shooed Bethany away. "Go on then. If you don't come out before doors open, I'll find you inside. Have so much fun, sweet thing!"

     "I will do my best," Bethany chuckled weakly, giving her friend a big hug before turning to walk up to the doors. She was, in truth, unbelievably nervous. She wasn't totally sure why. Her exuberant fangirl phase was long behind her, and the memories of it often made her cringe. Was Ville Valo a handsome, charming man? Certainly. "Aged like a fine, smokey whiskey," Vera had said on the short car ride over. Did his music mean a lot to her? Without a doubt. But there was certainly something to the phrase "never meet your heroes". Would he really be as kind and humble as he seemed in interviews? Would he really give a damn about speaking with her? Or would she end up leaving horribly put out and disappointed, an unpleasant experience marring Mason's thoughtful surprise?

     Pushing her anxious thoughts away, Bethany approached the pair of security guards manning the front entrance, who looked at her with mild exasperation.

     "Doors don't open for another hour, miss," the taller of the two said, toying with his long ginger beard.

     "Oh, I know!" Bethany said nervously, fishing around in her purse for her ticket and backstage pass. "Um, my... my boyfriend got me a backstage pass. I know I'm a bit early but I thought maybe it would be alright." She held out the little black card and her ticket with shaking fingers. The man took them and examined them carefully, raising his eyebrows.

     "Oh, shit, right!" said the other guard, a shorter, stockier black man with a shaved head. "They told us about her. Bethany Phillips, right?"

     "Yes," Bethany said quickly, blinking in surprise. "You know me by name?"

     "Sure thing," the shorter man said with a grin. "Just show us your ID and we'll let you go on in."

     Bethany quickly handed over her driver's license and when the guards deemed everything to be in order, they unlocked the doors and gave her directions to the green room. As the doors closed behind her, Bethany cast about the lobby, finding it empty but for a few employees finishing last minute tasks. A few shot her curious glances, but didn't say anything as they bustled about. Clutching her pass perhaps a bit more tightly than was necessary in her hand, Bethany headed right through a side door that read "Staff and Talent Only".

     There was more activity in the hallway, with roadies and techs moving around preparing for showtime. They, too, looked in her direction but didn't stop to ask what she was doing there. Bethany hugged the wall to keep out of the way, looking for the sign for the green room. It only took a moment to find it, and it stood slightly ajar. The sound of rapid fire Finnish conversation floated out, accompanied by a laugh Bethany recognized instantly.

     Giving herself a shake to calm down, she reached out and knocked as confidently as she could on the door.

     "Come on in!" called the voice to whom that laughter belonged. Bethany took a deep breath and poked her head in the room.

     A group of men she only sort of recognized as the tour band from the promos were congregated around a catering table, eyeing her curiously. One of them gave her a friendly wave, then pointed knowingly at the back corner of the room. Bethany's eyes slid slowly in that direction to rest upon Ville, who was lounging comfortably on an oversized leather couch, twirling a cheap vape pen between his fingers. He was dressed exactly as Bethany had expected him to be, in a T-shirt, jacket, and jeans, all black, and his usual Converse shoes and slouchy black beanie. He gave her a kind smile.

     "Bethany, I presume?" he drawled, hopping swiftly to his feet and crossing the room to her. She nodded dumbly, seeming to have lost her voice as she accepted the hand he held out to her.

     "Don't look so scared, I'm mostly harmless," he teased, giving her fingers a little squeeze. Bethany laughed breathlessly, unable to tear her gaze from his green eyes. His hand was very warm.

     "No, I'm not!" she said quickly, "I'm just surprised. I thought it would be more... chaotic back here. And you know my name."

     "Of course I do," he replied, freeing her hand and taking a long drag from his vape. Bethany noticed absently it was the same brand she used. "You've got the only backstage pass for this evening."

     "Wait, what?" Bethany blurted out, staring up at him as he exhaled vapor through his nose, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "How is that even possible?"

     "Your boyfriend sent a rather impassioned message to the right people," Ville explained. "It got around to me and, well... I love love, so I said I'd okay a pass for you. He could have come back with you, you know. If you want to send him a text I'll tell security to allow him inside."

     Bethany's throat grew tight and she cast her eyes down to the floor, willing herself to hold it together.

     "I'm sure he'd love that," she said slowly. "Unfortunately he passed away shortly after he got the tickets for us. He um... He didn't even tell me about the pass, I didn't know about it until this afternoon. I guess he wanted to surprise me."

     "Oh. Oh, my god," Ville stammered, eyes widening in horror. "I am SO sorry, I am the biggest asshole on the planet." He looked very much like he would enjoy it if the floor opened up and swallowed him.

     "Way to stick your foot in your mouth, Valo," one of the band members said awkwardly, backing up toward the door. "We'll uh, we'll just head out to the stage and start warming up a bit, you can do your damage control. It was nice to meet you, Bethany. Gentlemen?"

     The band hastily scurried out the door, leaving Bethany and Ville in cavernous silence.

     "I really am so sorry, if I'd realized I never-"

     "It's okay! Really, you couldn't have known!" Bethany assured him, surreptitiously swiping tears from her eyes before they could fall properly. She sniffed slightly and shrugged. "Better to get that bomb dropped early in the conversation, right? No harm done." Ville sighed and looked at her, cheeks slightly pink.

     "Okay," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, let's start over then. Hi, I'm Ville."

     Bethany let out a shaky giggle and nodded. "Hi, I'm Bethany. It's so nice to meet you."

     Ville grinned and motioned to the couch where he'd been sitting, and Bethany moved carefully around the cluttered coffee table in the middle of the lounge area to take a seat.

     "Would you like something to drink?" Ville asked, opening a small fridge opposite the couch. "There's iced tea, water, soda, beer..."

     "A tea would be great, thanks," Bethany replied, clasping her hands in her lap. Realizing that her knuckles were turning white, she separated them, chastising herself as she moved to accept the tea Ville held out to her. He glanced into the fridge, seeming to debate with himself for a moment before grabbing a can of Coke and returning to his own seat.

     "So..." he said, leaning back and cracking the can open. "What brings you here?" A loud laugh escaped Bethany's throat before she could think to stop it.

     "Please," she grinned. "You know exactly what brings me here."

     "I can guess, but it's sort of fun to play dumb sometimes," Ville teased. "I get some interesting answers that way. My favorite is when people bullshit to avoid obviously blowing smoke up my ass."

     "Oh, so it's bullshit you want?" Bethany grinned, taking a sip of her tea. "Okay, let's call it a comedy of errors in which my boyfriend thought that I idolized you, but actually I've always been madly in love with Linde. Pity about that miscommunication, but I suppose you'll do."

     "Oooh, good one," Ville laughed, the sound rich and sincere. "That's understandable. No one can resist Linde's quiet charms. Or his hair. Sadly, he's not joining me for any shows until next month. I'll try to fill the void as best I can." Bethany snorted and shook her head.

     "No, but really," she sighed, leaning back in her seat and looking up at the ceiling. "HIM has been my favorite band since I was a teenager. I always felt like... like you understood me. Which sounds stupid because you don't know me but it's just your lyrics, you know? And the way you deliver them, the emotion there... I don't know. I feel less alone in the world, like there's someone out there who could look into my head and wouldn't be totally mystified." She forced herself to look at him again, surprised to see him watching her very seriously.

     Bethany cleared her throat and gave a half-hearted shrug. "Sounds stupid, right? I know it's stupid and you probably hear it all the time in some form or another."

     "It's not," Ville said firmly. "It's not stupid at all. It's why I do this, still, even without the band. I know what it's like to feel lonely and trapped with the thoughts in my own head, thinking that no one would ever understand if they saw the mess up there. If even one person gets it, gets me, that's a huge comfort. It's good to know there are kindred spirits out there, and that they feel comfort in that exchange too." He smiled again, and Bethany couldn't help but smile back. She noticed her hands were no longer shaking.

     "I'm really glad to hear you say that," she admitted, turning more toward him and resting her arm over the back of the couch. "Everyone I've ever tried to explain that to, even Mason... my boyfriend," she took a steadying breath before continuing, "they always sort of just smiled and nodded, like 'Oh yeah that's great for you. I don't get it but that's great for you.' At least Mason didn't treat me like I was weird for it. He was glad I had that safe place to retreat into when I was having a rough time. He knew I always wanted to thank you for it. I guess that's why he brought me here. He wanted me to have that chance."

     "That was the gist of his message, yes," Ville said gently.

     "Of course," Bethany laughed, nodding to herself. "In that case, yeah, that's what brings me here. I wanted to thank you. Thank you for being my oldest friend, even if it's by several million degrees of separation."

     Bethany looked down again, feeling slightly embarrassed by her vulnerability. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt Ville's warm hand on hers again.

     "And thank you for being one of those kindred spirits who heard me in the dark," he said quietly, eyes locked on hers. Bethany blinked several times, then giggled again.

     "Do you always sound like a poet, or is it something you can turn on and off at will?" she teased. He laughed and released her hand, reclining in his seat again.

     "Honestly, I'm usually a complete idiot," he said, folding his hands behind his head. "Sometimes the little poet man in my brain has brief moments of lucidity and gives me a good line or two."

     "Such a talented little poet man," Bethany said approvingly.

     "I'm probably in idiot mode right now, and if you want to tell me so, please feel free," Ville said hesitantly, brow furrowed. "I admit I am curious... What happened? With Mason. You seem young, I'm guessing he was as well."

     Bethany winced slightly, but nodded. "He was young. I'm 32 now, he was 31 when he died last year. He was at work, he did construction. He'd done it since we graduated high school, so it's not like he wasn't used to it or anything. One day he was out on a job and he suddenly just... dropped. Massive heart attack. The doctors never figured out why. He was healthy for the most part. It was just a freak thing." She stared at the bottle in her hand, surprised she'd managed to get that out without having a meltdown. She heard Ville blow out a long breath next to her.

     "That's heavy," he said quietly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, I can't imagine how you must still be feeling."

     "No, it's... okay, actually," Bethany told him, surprised even more that she actually meant it. "I haven't really talked about it much with anyone and it feels weirdly good to share it. Thank you for, like, giving a shit. You totally don't have to." 

     "And yet I do," Ville said, his tone genuinely sympathetic. "I've never lost anyone that close to me in that way. I've been incredibly lucky in that respect. For all I use the imagery of death in my songs, it's never really affected me that viscerally. Truthfully, it terrifies me. Maybe that's why I write about it, to try to touch it before it touches me. I know it doesn't even come close, though. You're made of stronger stuff than I am, certainly."

     "Oh, please," Bethany snorted, "until roughly two days ago, I refused to leave my apartment. My friend had to shove me bodily out into the sunshine to get me to go shopping with her. I'd... actually forgotten all about the show tonight. It wasn't until she said she thought I'd want some new clothes to wear for it that I remembered. And I really almost didn't come, I was so wrapped up in being sad that I thought there was no way I could handle being here, hearing those songs, without Mason. I thought I'd have some kind of nervous breakdown. Actually, I have a bit of a confession to make."

     "Oh?" Ville said, raising an eyebrow.

     "Yeah," Bethany said sheepishly. "I haven't actually listened to your new album. I have it, my mom bought it for me thinking it would cheer me up, but it's still in the plastic on my kitchen counter. I heard your EP and the first single when you released it and I really did love them. It was amazing to hear your voice again. But after Mason died, I... I couldn't listen to your music anymore. I haven't at all, since then, to any of it. I've been too afraid."

     "Huh," Ville said, chewing thoughtfully on his vape. "But you decided to come tonight after all. Why?"

     "My friend, Vera, convinced me," Bethany said with an exasperated laugh. "She said I shouldn't let Mason's last gift to me go to waste, that I may never get this opportunity again. She also said that I wouldn't be the first person to cry uncontrollably at one of your shows." Ville laughed at that, lifting his drink to his lips. He paused for a moment, choosing his next words carefully.

     "You said you were too afraid to listen to the music. Afraid of what?"

     "Of... feeling, I guess," Bethany replied, her brow furrowing as she realized she'd never actually considered that before. "I hated feeling the grief and loss and emptiness, so much. I shoved it all down, tried to distract myself with work and getting my degree, avoiding thinking about what happened at all costs. Not always successfully, given my line of work and education, but helping other people with their losses seemed easier than processing mine. I guess I know that your music has a direct line to my emotions, as godawful cringey as that sounds. I've been afraid that if I listened it would open the floodgates. I didn't want to lose what little control I had."

     "What do you do for work?" Ville asked curiously. "What are you going to school for?"

     "Ah," Bethany grinned. "I work in a funeral home as an assistant. I'm in mortuary school, about halfway finished."

     "Oh, damn," Ville said, obviously impressed. "Well, that settles it. You're definitely tougher than I am."

     "We'll see if you still say that when I'm crying on the dancefloor tonight," Bethany laughed, shaking her head.

     "Nothing wrong with crying on the dancefloor, darling," Ville said, moving closer and tentatively reaching out to hold the hand Bethany rested on the back of the couch. "Those feelings suck, but the longer you avoid them, the worse they'll feel when the dam eventually breaks anyway. You're among friends here. You won't be alone. No one is going to judge you for letting that pain out tonight. It might be exactly what you need to do."

     Bethany looked at him through a blur of tears, her heart squeezing in a way that, for once, was not painful. It was exactly as she'd told him: he understood her. Even without suffering what she had suffered, he heard her and somehow knew what to say. She smiled widely, even as the tears overflowed onto her cheeks.

     "Thanks, Ville," she whispered. "Really, I mean it, thank you so much. You've been so lovely and kind to me tonight. I've never had a talk like this with anyone since everything happened. It's exactly what I needed. Thank you."

     "You don't have to thank me, sweetheart," Ville chuckled, gently brushing her tears away with his thumbs. "Miserable, misunderstood bastards have to stick together, right?"

     Bethany laughed and nodded, her breath catching in her throat when Ville pulled her into a warm hug. She let her hands rest on his back, burying her face in his shoulder, letting the moment wash over her. She felt like there was a bright, glowing light growing in her chest, breaking through the fog that had long taken up residence there. It almost didn't feel real.

     "Sadly, I think our time here is at an end," Ville murmured in her ear, pulling back with some reluctance. "But, um... If it's not too forward or strange of me to ask, would you like to come back for a while after the show tonight?"

     "Wh- really?" Bethany stuttered. "You want me to? I mean I'd love to, but I wouldn't want to impose or-"

     "It's not an imposition if I ask," Ville grinned. "Of course if you don't feel up to it or you have to get going before it gets too late, I understand. I just really enjoy talking with you... It's been a while since I've had a conversation like this, too. It feels nice. And maybe after the show you'll feel better and I'll get to see you smile some more."

     Bethany knew she was blushing scarlet, but she chose to ignore it and flashed Ville an obliging smile. "I'll see you back here in a bit, then," she said softly.

     "Looking forward to it," Ville replied, standing and offering his hand to walk her to the door. Bethany took it and snickered as they reached the threshold, turning and looking up at him.

     "One quick question, because I promised," she said, rolling her eyes. "Do you have any weird pre-show rituals?" Ville barked out a bemused laugh and considered for a moment.

     "I mean, I call my mother, if she's still awake," he said finally. "Does that count? Or are you looking for goat sacrifice and reciting the Necronomicon?"

     "That'll do," Bethany laughed. "It was Vera's only question for you that wasn't wildly inappropriate, so I figured I'd do her that one solid."

     "Oh, then definitely tell her it's the goat sacrifce," Ville said decisively. "Say it like you're completely serious and slightly horrified. I know her type, it'll give her a good laugh."

     "That almost makes me sad I didn't bring her back here with me," Bethany said, amused. "Almost."

     They both laughed again and with one final hug parted ways, Ville going down the hall to find his band, and Bethany into the theater to track down her best friend.

Chapter Text

     Bethany made her way out to the theater floor, which was slowly filling with people chattering excitedly. Her gaze fell on Vera almost immediately where she stood at the front barricade, scrolling idly on her phone. Bethany quickly crossed the room, sneaking up behind her friend and giving her a poke in the ribs.

     "Hey there, sunshine," Vera grinned, motioning for Bethany to take the spot beside her. "So? Tell me all about it."

     "Oh, geez," Bethany giggled, pressing her hands to her still slightly flushed cheeks. "He is quite possibly the sweetest, loveliest man alive. I feel sort of bad because I basically talked about myself and my bullshit the whole time, but he did ask. And he actually seemed to care. We had a super nice talk and I feel better right now than I have in months."

     "Wow," Vera said, seeming impressed. "So the charm isn't a put-on after all. That's refreshing. What all did you tell him?"

     "We talked about Mason," Bethany said softly, leaning against the barricade. "He didn't know what had happened, obviously. He thought maybe Mace was here with me and offered to let him come backstage too."

     "Oof," Vera winced. "Bet he wanted to go play in traffic when you told him."

     "He was so embarrassed, I felt awful," Bethany said. "But of course he couldn't have known and I told him it wasn't a big deal. We sat down and just... talked. He told me how Mason had sent this message requesting a backstage pass for me that eventually got around to him. He thought it was sweet, so he gave it the green light. I'm the only person who got a pass for this show."

     "No shit," Vera's jaw dropped. "So, wait, it was just you and Ville?"

     "Yes, ma'am," Bethany grinned. "So no one else had to hear me wax poetic about how much his music has meant to me and how I think he's neat. Took a bit of the pressure off. Sort of. He still has those eyes that stare into your soul."

     "Don't mention that shit too loud in here, you might get your hair ripped from your skull out of jealousy," Vera whispered conspiratorially, glancing around at the steadily growing crowd. Bethany rolled her eyes, then felt her face flush yet again.

     "Actually, I probably should keep this next part quiet," she admitted, leaning closer to Vera's ear. "He invited me to come back again after the show."

     "He what?" Vera hissed, her eyes wide as saucers. Her expression quickly shifted from shock to suspicion, however. "Hold on, hold on. Is this man attempting to put the moves on you? Like for real? Because that's high-key not cool, especially since you told him what happened with Mason."

     "What? No!" Bethany laughed, shaking her head emphatically. "No way. No 'moves' are being put on anyone. What would he even see in me anyway? I'm literally nobody. No, he was perfectly respectful and friendly. No creep vibes whatsoever."

     "He doesn't have to be a creep to be a moron," Vera pointed out. "No matter how decent a guy is, sometimes they see a beautiful woman and suddenly all their good sense gets a swift yeet out the window. Good manners would say to let a woman who recently lost the man she loved have her space and absolutely not flirt with her, but then here comes the testosterone..."

     "That's a pretty big assumption, Vera," Bethany chastised, crossing her arms. "And kind of rich coming from you."
 
     "Oh Bethy, I'm a professional," Vera laughed, shaking her head. "I know there's a time and place for slutcraft. There's etiquette! Now put on your critical thinking cap. Did he flirt with you?"

     "I don't know, maybe?" Bethany said defensively. "If he did I don't think it necessarily means anything. I get the sense he's just a natural flirt. I mean, of fucking course he would be. I don't think it's that deep, Vee."

     "Hmm..." Vera rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Well, it's a good thing we're right up front."

     "Why..?" Bethany asked warily.

     "Because he'll see you the whole time he's up there, and I'm going to watch him like a hawk."

***

     Another twenty minutes or so passed as the last concertgoers made their way inside, the air seeming to hum with anticipation and excited chatter. Bethany could feel her palms getting sweaty against the barricade, feeling nervous about being quite literally trapped by the ocean of humanity crowding around her on all sides. It had been a while since she'd been to a show, or in a crowd of any kind at all for that matter. Adding that to her emotional anxiety, and she felt like she might be on the verge of a panic attack.

     "Just breathe, babygirl," Vera said, raising her voice above the noise. She gave Bethany's clammy hand a gentle squeeze. "It's all going to be fine! Stop overthinking and just go with the flow, I'm right here with you."

     Bethany managed a smile in response just as the lights began to dim and a cacophonous roar of cheers rose up from the crowd. Shadows began to appear on stage as the band took their places, and the first notes of music began to echo through the theater. It was something new, something that Bethany didn't recognize, but the energy was familiar and unmistakable. It felt like home.

     As the lights on stage began to flare to life, the man of the hour finally emerged from the wings, a confident smile on his face as the crowd absolutely exploded. Bethany instantly joined the chorus of cheers, not hesitating for even a moment. Ville stepped up to the microphone and began to sing, his eyes scanning the crowd for a few moments before zeroing in on Bethany's face. He smiled then and gave her a subtle wink before closing his eyes and throwing himself fully into the performance, causing Vera to elbow Bethany firmly in the ribs.

     "Don't start!" Bethany said loudly into her ear, giving her the most threatening look she could muster. Vera simply smiled knowingly and returned her attention to the stage, clearly intending to keep her promise to watch Ville's every move for the next two hours.

     And to Bethany's surprise, the next two hours were completely perfect. This show was everything she'd ever wanted, and even when older HIM songs popped up on the setlist, she didn't feel the crushing sadness she had expected. Looking up at Ville working his special brand of magic, she didn't feel grief or emptiness, she only felt relief. Singing along felt like coming up for air after a deep, dark dive, and swaying to the beat eased the tensions that had taken up residence in every part of her being. She felt alive, completely alive, and it was beautiful.

     As the show was coming to a close, Ville went to each band member in turn, saying something in their ear and receiving affirmative nods in response. He returned to the microphone, grinning as he looked out at the crowd.

     "Thank you all so much for tonight," he said, pausing as everyone screamed and whistled, returning the sentiment. "In a lot of ways, coming back to all of this with so much change was scary as hell, but I couldn't stay away. I'm glad I didn't. This is what keeps me going, YOU are what keeps me going. I owe you all so much."

     More cheers and applause erupted, and Ville leaned happily against the mic stand, an easy smile playing on his lips. His eyes moved once again to the front row, finding Bethany's in an instant, and he spoke again.

     "This song, I think, puts that feeling of stepping intrepidly into an uncertain but promising future into words quite well. This is goodbye for tonight, but we can't wait to see you again. Here's to The Foreboding Sense of Impending Happiness."

     The response was positively deafening this time, quieting just in time for the soft, gentle opening words. It was then, as the lyrics that spoke of the healing of a wounded heart began to wash over her, that Bethany felt tears prickling in her eyes. And her eyes were in fact locked with Ville's, who seemed to never look away from her as he sang. Bethany felt the crowd's joyful dancing around her as the beat of the song picked up in its final moments, but she was rooted to the spot. She felt the tears streaking down her cheeks, but she didn't feel pain. She felt hope, an impossible lightness rising in her chest, as she smiled up at Ville. He grinned triumphantly back at her before lowering his voice and finally breaking her gaze to close his eyes and finish the song.

     "Look at the scars
     Smother a heart
     Opening up..."

     As the lights went down and the crowd roared a final time, Bethany couldn't help but laugh, the most honest, meaningful laugh she'd had in nearly a year. The foreboding sense of impending happiness, indeed.

Chapter Text

     "He changed. The setlist. For you."

     "It was just the last song, Vee!" Bethany laughed as she and Vera fought their way into the theater lobby. "And you don't know he changed it. That's a top tier song to end a show with, it was probably planned."

     "Oh no, no, no," Vera said, tugging Bethany into an alcove. "He talked to everyone else up there first, then looked at you for the entire song. Don't tell me he didn't because you were looking right back at him. That was for you. You've got him bewitched somehow, you sorceress."

     "Please stop trying to inflate my ego," Bethany scoffed. "Fine, let's say he did do it for me. So what? Maybe he just thought it would make me happy and he wanted to do something nice! He seems, well, nice!"

     "Nice," Vera said flatly. "He seems nice. If you undersold this entire experience any more I'd think you weren't present for a second of it. Did you realize he couldn't keep his eyes off of you? He tried, but he just kept coming back for more."

     "Shut up," Bethany groaned. "He was probably looking at you. You're the eye candy." Vera snorted.

     "Don't insult me like that, I know when a man is looking at me. I can tell you for a fact that I am not his type. I am a try-hard, my darling. You are not, you are naturally enchanting and I think that's right up his alley. I think he's smitten."

     "With what?!" Bethany asked, a bit louder than she'd meant to. "I'm a weird little random who orders flower arrangements and prayer cards for a living. I still dress like I'm sixteen. I drive a beat up shitwagon, live in a tiny apartment, and have emotional baggage up to my eyeballs. If anything, Ville feels bad for me. We had a, what, thirty minute conversation? Most of which was about me and how much my past year has sucked. And you think he's smitten after that?"

     "He enjoyed your company enough to ask you to come back to talk some more," Vera said smugly.

     "And do I have your permission to take him up on that offer, or do you think he has an ulterior motive?" Bethany demanded.

     "Oh, he definitely has an ulterior motive," Vera smirked. "My concern, as Mama Bear, is whether he'll play the gentlemanly long game with it or do something stupid much too early."

     "My concern is that you're completely delusional," Bethany grumbled. "Look, I'm going to go back and at least say hi and tell him the show was great. You can tag along this time if you want."

     "Nope, this is your party, kitten," Vera said, raising her hands in refusal. "You're a big girl, I trust you to handle yourself. I have Vance picking me up for a late night round two at the sushi bar. I do, however, expect a phone call with the play by play once you bid that beautiful bastard adieu, got it?"

     "Message received and understood, Captain," Bethany laughed, giving Vera a big hug. "Thank you again for convincing me to come here tonight. I needed this."

     "Of course," Vera said, planting a kiss on Bethany's cheek. "Thank you for bringing me along. I had a lovely time, and it was good to see that raincloud over your head blow away."

     "Be good," Bethany warned as Vera stepped away. "And tell Vance I said to be good, too!"

     "As if," Vera said with a toss of her hair, giving Bethany a final wave as she made her way to the exit. Bethany shook her head in exasperation and started walking toward the door to the the back hallway she'd gone through earlier. As she reached for the doorknob, a security guard who was decidedly more intimidating than the ones who had been out front earlier suddenly appeared to her right and grabbed her wrist.

     "Nice try," the man said, blocking her way. "Show's over, it's time for you to leave."

     "Oh but I-"

     "It's alright, she's expected!" came a voice over the guard's shoulder. The door was now open slightly, and Bethany could see Ville trying to peek out without making himself too visible to the crowd outside. "Sorry, I didn't have time to tell anyone. She's my guest."

     "If you say so," the security guard said with a shrug, releasing Bethany's arm and stepping aside.

     "Thanks," Bethany said awkwardly, moving past the giant man and hurrying through the door. She turned to look at Ville, who looked slightly out of breath.

     "Glad I caught you in time," he laughed, leaning against the wall. "I would have felt like total shit if you'd gotten turned away and left."

     "I would have been pretty bummed out, myself," Bethany said, mimicking his posture against the opposite wall. "I really wanted to tell you how amazing the show was."

     "Thanks. You looked like you were having a good time," Ville said, a slight smirk turning the corner of his lips.

     "I had an incredible time," Bethany said honestly. "I was so stupid to think it would be anything less than perfect. I feel so, so much better."

     "You weren't stupid," Ville said, pulling his vape out of his pocket and taking a long drag. "I understand why you felt that way. I'm glad things went better than you expected, though."

     "You were really great out there," Bethany said, watching him exhale and cursing herself for forgetting her own vape in the car. "Never would have guessed you'd been away from the spotlight for so long."

     "Like riding a bike," Ville grinned. He paused for a moment, then held out his vape pen to her. "Go on. I know someone jonesing when I see it."

     "Oh, no that's okay!" Bethany squeaked, eyes wide. "I can wait, it's fine."

     "You sure?" he laughed, waving it in front of her face. "I was hoping to take up a not insignificant amount of your time."

     "Is that so?" Bethany asked, feeling suddenly nervous. Had Vera been right after all? What was even happening?
 
     "It is," he replied, reaching down and grabbing her hand, placing the vape in her palm. "So there. I promise I don't have cooties."

     Bethany giggled and brought the pen to her lips, inhaling slowly. She let out a satisfied sigh and handed it back to him gratefully.

     "Better?" he asked, sliding the pen back into his pocket.

     "Much," Bethany admitted, glancing down the hallway. It had cleared out fast. "Thanks."

     "Anytime," Ville said, pushing off the wall and motioning for her to walk with him. They headed back toward the green room, footsteps echoing in the mostly empty hallway. Stepping inside the door, Bethany was surprised to find it once again empty.

     "Where'd everyone go?" she asked, glancing over the mostly cleared catering table.

     "To the hotel," Ville shrugged, stretching out lazily on the couch. "Old men need their sleep, you know."

     "What about you?" Bethany laughed, taking the seat she'd sat in previously.

     "Ouch!" Ville said, shooting her a hurt look. "You think I'm old?"

     "I didn't say that," Bethany said, narrowing her eyes.

     "It's okay, I am old," Ville grinned, pulling off his hat and running his fingers through his hair. "I really did want to see you, though. I can sleep when I'm dead."

     "Why did you want me to come back?" Bethany asked before she could stop herself. Ville gave her a strange look.

     "Why wouldn't I?"

     "I just don't get it," Bethany shrugged. "I'm not really interesting or anything."

     "No one is interesting to themselves," Ville laughed. "I think I'm the most boring person alive, but you seem to think I'm worth speaking to."

     "But you're... you," Bethany said lamely, chewing her bottom lip. "I'm nobody."

     "In the grand scheme of things, I am also nobody," Ville said, sitting up straighter. "So really what this is, is two nobodies who find themselves boring but find each other interesting, hanging out because it's more fun than leaving and going to bed early alone. Does that make sense?"

     "Weirdly, yes," Bethany said, smiling. Ville smiled back and leaned over to the mini fridge, rifling around a bit.

     "Alright, can we both drink a beer without you giving me the look?" he asked hesitantly, glancing over at her. "I can handle having a couple like a grown up, pinky promise."

     "I wouldn't have given you a look," Bethany said gently. "You're an adult, you don't have to ask my permission."

     "Yes, an old adult, I remember," Ville teased, grabbing two bottles of Bud Light and passing one to Bethany. "Ugh, sorry that's all they have in here. Not my first choice, but it'll do."

     "It could be worse," Bethany said, twisting off the bottlecap. "Could be Coors." She grinned when Ville visibly shuddered and took a sip of his beer.

     "Thanks," he said seriously, eyes on his feet where he'd kicked them up on the coffee table. "I really don't drink much anymore, maybe a couple of drinks a month, but when I do people tend to get... weird."

     "I get it," Bethany said, enjoying a long drink from her own bottle. "No judgement here. We all have our shit to deal with. I'm sure people in my life side-eye some of my decisions, too."

     "Like your friend tonight?" Ville said knowingly. "If looks could kill, I'd be dust with the way she was staring me down."

     "Oh for gods' sake," Bethany whined, hiding her face in her hand. "Vera's ridiculous. I told her you asked me to come back after the show and it was all I could do to stop her from marching back here to demand you tell her what your intentions with me were." Ville threw his head back and laughed.

     "She sounds like a good friend," he said. "We all need one like her to keep us from doing dumb shit."

     "Or to talk us into dumb shit," Bethany snorted. "Very changeable, that girl. Big Gemini energy."

     "Even better," Ville grinned, sipping his drink again. "What intentions does she think I have, exactly?"

     "Ugh, don't make me tell you," Bethany said, feeling the blush creeping up her neck. "At least not until I've had at least one more of these bad boys."

     "In vino veritas?" Ville drawled, raising an amused eyebrow.

     "That's what your intention is!" Bethany laughed. "Get me drunk enough to say embarrassing things to stroke your ego!"

     "Or shame me, one of the two," Ville shrugged, moving to take off his jacket. He tossed it onto the seat next to him, turning more in Bethany's direction. "Would you like to know what my intentions actually are?"

     "That really depends," Bethany giggled nervously, taking a large swallow of her beer.

     "On?"

     "On what they are!"

     Ville smirked but didn't say anything, fishing his vape from his pocket and bringing it to his lips. He inhaled for a long moment before suddenly tossing it in Bethany's direction. She caught it, just barely, and took a hit for herself. She held it back out to him, but he waved her off, still smirking.

     "You're making me nervous!" Bethany exclaimed into the silence.

     "I know," Ville grinned. "It's funny."

     "It is not!" Bethany protested, stamping her feet against the carpet. Ville laughed and shook his head.

     "I don't have any intentions," he said softly. "I like you, Bethany. I like talking to you. That's all."

     "You changed the last song for me," Bethany said, the words spilling out unbidden. She was definitely blushing now.

     "I did," Ville said easily.

     "Why?" Bethany asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

     "It felt right," Ville said, finishing his beer and setting it gently on the table. He put his feet on the floor, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "Kindred spirits, remember?"

     "It was exactly right," Bethany said softly, her eyes drifting to his hands where they were clasped in front of him. "I know tonight doesn't fix everything for me, but that song, in that moment, did more to help me than months of therapy. I feel like it gave me permission to..." She trailed off, struggling to find the words.

     "To live again?" Ville finished, drawing her eyes back to his face. Bethany saw nothing but kindness and gentleness there, and her heart seemed to do a somersault in her chest.

     "Yes," she whispered. Her cheeks were wet. When did she start crying?

     "Hey, now," Ville said quietly, moving to her side and taking her hand. "It's alright. You're alright."

     "Sorry," Bethany laughed weakly, scrubbing the tears away. "Christ, I'm so pathetic, all you've seen me do is cry."

     "How many other people have, really?" Ville asked, his thumb drawing soft circles on the top of her hand. Bethany blinked, considering the question and realizing that she could count the number of people she'd been this open with since Mason's death on one hand.

     "Not many, actually," she said finally, taking the last sip of her beer and placing the bottle next to Ville's. "I try to put on a happy face for pretty much everyone. I don't even know why. I guess I don't trust most people with that part of me."

     "But you trust me?" Ville asked, sounding surprised. Bethany looked up at him, realizing that bizarrely, she absolutely did.

     "Yes," she said, squeezing his fingers. "Kindred spirits, remember?" Ville smiled and lifted her hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss to her knuckles. Bethany felt like she'd forgotten how to breathe.

     "I... I know this is weird, but for some reason I really don't want you to leave," Ville whispered, looking nervous as the words hung between them. "I wish we could stay here and talk all night."

     "We can't stay in this theater forever," Bethany laughed softly, nudging his shoulder with her own. "They're going to kick us out before too long."

     "I know," Ville sighed, looking around the room dejectedly. "And the boys will probably think I've been kidnapped if I'm away much longer. Can I walk you to your car?"

     "I'd like that," Bethany said, slowly moving to stand up. "Do you need a ride to the hotel?"

     "It's just down the street," Ville said pulling on his hat and jacket. "I can walk. Thank you, though."

     "Of course," Bethany said, holding out Ville's vape pen to him. He looked at it for a moment, then shook his head.

     "You keep it. I have another in my room. I should probably quit, anyway."

     "Thanks," Bethany laughed, tucking it in her back pocket. Ville smiled and took her hand, leading her back into the hallway toward the back exit of the building.

     The night air outside was chillier than it had been when she'd arrived, and Bethany shivered. Ville released her hand and put his arm around her shoulders instead as they made their way to the parking lot. Bethany's car was the only one left in customer parking, and when they reached it she turned to look up at Ville, feeling strangely sad.

     "Guess this is goodbye," she sighed, leaning against the driver's side door.

     "Or maybe just goodnight," Ville said slowly. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped at the screen for a moment, then held it out to her. She took it and looked down at the open 'add contact' menu.

     "Really?" she asked, looking back up at him. He smiled and nodded, motioning for her to put in her name and phone number. In the dim glow of the street lights, Bethany thought his cheeks looked a little pinker than before. She quickly typed in her information, pressing the save button when she'd finished and handed the phone back to him.

     "Thank you," he whispered, putting his phone away. He hesitated for only a moment before he leaned down and gently kissed her cheek. "I'm so glad I got to meet you, Bethany."

     "I'm glad I got to meet you too," Bethany whispered back, staring up into his green eyes. Ville gave her hand a final squeeze and started to back away.

     "We'll talk soon," he said with a wink, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. "Good night."
 
     "Good night," Bethany replied, turning and unlocking her car, getting inside as he walked back to the theater. With shaky hands, she started the engine and cranked the heat, unable to believe any of what had just happened. Just when she was certain she must have imagined all of it, her phone chirped in her pocket. She pulled it out to find a text notification from an unknown number.

     "Thank you again for a wonderful evening. I hope we can do it again sometime. Please text me when you get home so I know you're safe. vv."

     Bethany breathed out a gust of air as she put her phone down. She couldn't begin to guess what any of this meant, or what it could possibly lead to, but some part of her knew there was nothing she could do to stop it. She didn't think she wanted to. And she was equal parts thrilled and terrified.

     Deciding not to think about it until she was home, she put the car in drive and turned out of the lot, reluctantly putting an end to one of the best nights of her life.

Chapter Text

     By the time Bethany stepped inside her apartment, the adrenaline she'd been riding high on all night was nearly depleted. She collapsed onto her couch in a heap, leaning back and staring at the ceiling.

     Unbelievable, she thought. Fucking unbelievable.

     She pulled out her phone and opened her messaging app, half expecting the last text to have been a hallucination. It was still there, however, and quite real. She stared at the words, unable to stop thinking about who had written them, whose fingers had tapped those keys and held her hand less than an hour before. How was this her life?

     She shook her head and sighed. Get a grip, Beth, she thought sternly. Don't get ahead of yourself. Just answer this message and... see what happens.

     She did her best to sound casual in her response, not wanting to come across as over-eager. The evening had been oddly intense, and she felt like she'd known Ville her entire life, but the fact was she had not. She didn't want to freak him out by being too familiar.

     "Hey! I'm home, safe and sound. I hope you got to your room okay too. Thank you for everything, seriously. Tonight meant so much to me. I'd love to hang out again sometime, whenever we might have the chance. Good night, Ville."

     Not five minutes after Bethany hit send, her phone chirped again. She couldn't fight the smile that spread across her face at the new message.

     "Good night, sweetheart. Sweet dreams. vv."

     She stared at the screen far longer than she should have, turning the situation over in her mind. She didn't know what to think. Was this, whatever this was, okay? The ease of speaking with Ville, who was really a complete stranger to her, felt so strange. She never opened up to people like that at first blush, ever. Was it just because she'd listened to his music for so long and followed his career that she felt comfortable enough to let him in like that, or was it something else? Was this crossing some kind of line? She was a fan who had met Ville very much in the context of being a fan, at his own show in an arranged manner. Arranged by her own deceased boyfriend.

     There was another can of worms... Was this disrespectful to Mason? The fact that she was feeling things suspiciously like attraction and comfort in the presence of another man felt questionable enough. Add to that the fact that this meeting had been Mason's gift to her, and it honestly felt sort of dirty.

     Her thoughts were interrupted by the phone in her hand beginning to ring, and Bethany nearly dropped it in surprise. Vera's name flashed cheerily on the screen, prompting Bethany to hit the answer button.

     "Just drove by the theater and saw your car was gone," Vera said immediately, not even letting Bethany say hello. "I'm guessing you're home by now?"

     "Yeah, I am," Bethany laughed tiredly, bending to untie her shoes, which were beginning to hurt her feet. "How was the sushi?"

     "Superb," Vera sighed happily.

     "It better have been, with the bill you racked up!" Bethany heard Vance Tanner say in the background.

     "Oh, quit your bitching," Vera scolded him, "you ate just as much as I did. Anyway, Bethy, you know I didn't call you to talk about my dinner."

     "Drat," Bethany said in mock disappointment. "Thought I'd thrown you off the scent."

     "With all those pheromones?" Vera cackled. "Not a chance sister. Spill. How was backstage pass part two, electric boogaloo?"

     "Much like part one," Bethany said casually, getting up to put her shoes by the door and wandering into the kitchen. "We sat together and talked, had a drink. It was chill. We had a nice time."

     "If I wanted Cliff Notes, I would have asked for Cliff Notes," Vera huffed. Bethany could visualize her tapping her foot against Vance's dashboard. "I need details, woman. What did you talk about? What did you drink? What were y'all wearing?"

     "You think we had a wardrobe change to have a chat?" Bethany chuckled, setting about making herself a cup of tea.

     "I suspect he shed a couple layers after being under those hot lights," Vera said lasciviously. Bethany snorted, filling the kettle with water and setting it on the stove.

     "He took off his hat and jacket, yes," she said, turning the knob on the stove to high. "We each had a beer, and we talked about you, actually."

     "Me?!" Vera shouted. "Why the hell would you waste that precious time talking about me?"

     "He noticed the way you were staring daggers at him for the whole show," Bethany teased. "I told him you were very invested in discovering his motivations for spending time with me. He said you seem like a good friend."

     "How sweet," Vera chuckled. "Did he elaborate on what his motivations were?"

     "He didn't have any," Bethany said, pulling a box of chai tea bags from her cupboard. "He said he likes me, and he likes talking to me. That's why he invited me back."

     "He likes you?" Vera gasped. "He said that?"

     "Yes, he did," Bethany sighed, rolling her eyes as she put a tea bag in a mug. "But that literally doesn't have to mean what you're assuming it means. I like you, but I don't want to sleep with you."

     "Your loss, as always," Vera sniffed. "That's neither here nor there, though. Let me guess, you were all self-deprecating and confused, yes?"

     "Naturally," Bethany snorted. "I asked if he changed the last song for me. He said he did."

     "Told you so," Vera crooned.

     "Yeah, shut up," Bethany laughed as she pulled the kettle from the stove and poured hot water into her mug. "I asked him why, and he said it felt right, that we're kindred spirits and he knew it was the right thing to do."

     "Oh, my god," Vera groaned. "Vance, pull over, I think I might barf."

     "Not pulling over, so please don't," Vance replied.

     "It was sweet!" Bethany yelled, her face growing hot. "He chose that song because he knew it would reach the part of me that was hurting. He just... knew. I don't know. It was... We had a moment, I guess."

     "A moment?" Vera asked encouragingly. "Go on. What kind of moment?"

     "I started crying, because I guess that's a thing I do around him," Bethany sighed, gathering milk and sugar to finish her tea. "He came and sat next to me and held my hand. I said I was sorry I kept crying, and I realized that I really don't cry in front of anyone, only people I really trust. So that means that for some reason, I trust him."

     "You kissed him, didn't you?" Vera said bluntly. Bethany choked out a laugh.

     "No, I did not," she said, finishing her task and taking a long, blissful sip of her tea. "He may have kissed my hand, but I didn't kiss him."

     "Dear Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," Vera said exasperatedly. "I feel like I'm listening to a Jane Austen audiobook. What planet did this man come from?"

     "The Arctic Circle, which might as well be another planet," Bethany laughed, returning to the living room and curling up on the couch once more. "Anyway... After that, we realized it was getting late and we should probably get moving before the theater staff gave us the boot. He walked me to my car, and I started to say goodbye, but then he handed me his phone and asked me to put in my number."

     "Did you?" Vera demanded.

     "I did," Bethany said, chewing her lip. "Do you disapprove?"

     "No, but I hope you know what kind of door you opened," Vera snickered. Bethany groaned in disgust.

     "Of all the men in the world, I'm pretty sure he's the least likely to send unsolicited nudes, if I'm catching your drift," she said irritably.

     "How sad for you!" Vera laughed wickedly. "So you give him your number, and then...?"

     "He... kissed me on the cheek," Bethany said softly, and she swore she could still feel his lips on the spot as she spoke, "and told me he was glad he met me. I told him I was glad I met him too, and we said good night. While I was warming up my car, he sent me a text thanking me for the nice evening and asking me to text him when I got home. And that's it, that's the end of the story."

     "Did you tell him you made it home?"

     "Of course. I told him I got here safe and said good night again. He texted good night back. There, that's the end."

     "Bet there was a pet name in his last good niiiight," Vera sing-songed.

     "How do you do that?" Bethany asked, both impressed and frightened. "How do you always know this shit?"

     "I know his type," Vera said smugly.

     "Funny, he said the same thing about you," Bethany taunted. "Which reminds me, I forgot to tell you. It's goat sacrifice. His pre-show ritual? Totally goat sacrifice. And reading from the Necronomicon."

     "He told you to tell me that specifically, didn't he?" Vera asked wryly.

     "Sure did," Bethany grinned. "The real answer is, he calls his mom."

     "ACTIVELY. BARFING. REST IN PEACE, VANCE'S UPHOLSTERY!" Vera wailed dramatically, sending Bethany into giggles as Vance begged her to shut up in the background.

     "I think we should probably end this little chat before Vance kicks you out of his car on the freeway," Bethany said once she'd collected herself. "That was my full report, anyway."

     "Sure, sure," Vera said airily. "There will be a much more serious phase two to this conversation, but I'm sure you already knew that."

     "I'd expect nothing less," Bethany yawned, glancing at the clock which informed her that it was nearly one in the morning. "Get home safe, both of you."

     "Always, kitten," Vera said gently. "You go get some sleep, you've had one hell of a night. Love you!"

     "Love you more," Bethany smiled, ending the call before Vera could object. She lifted her tea to her lips, glancing around for her vape before remembering she'd left it in the cupholder in her car again. Then another memory surfaced, and she reached into her back pocket to find the one Ville had given to her. She turned it over in her hand, smiling to herself when she noticed the tiny heartagram that had been messily scratched into the metallic green paint. She took a long drag from it, absolutely not thinking about who else's lips had touched it mere hours before, nor about where on her skin those same lips had been.
    

Chapter Text

     BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

     "Ohh for fuck's sake!" Bethany groaned, rolling over and grabbing her phone. She squinted blearily at the screen, reading the name of the alarm that had awoken her so rudely. "7 AM: Get that chemistry paper finished TODAY".

     Right, she thought dimly, dismissing the blaring alarm. I did plan on being responsible this morning, didn't I? 

     She tossed the phone to the side and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. She'd gotten maybe five hours of sleep after her late night, having fallen fully clothed into bed shortly after getting off the phone with Vera. She hadn't even washed off her makeup. I'm sure I look an absolute treat right now...

     Bethany gathered all of her willpower and forced herself out of bed, trudging into the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and snorted at her reflection, taking in her wild hair and the serious case of raccoon eyes and smeared lipstick she had going on. A treat indeed.

     She turned on the shower and got undressed, stepping under the hot water with a groan of relief. She scrubbed off the remnants of her makeup, following it with an acne wash by way of apology to her face, and quickly washed the rest of her body before cleaning the hairspray out of her hair. She turned the water back off and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a fluffy towel around herself before quickly toweling her short hair dry.

     After brushing her teeth, Bethany wandered back into her bedroom, deciding to dress purely for comfort and laziness in a pair of gray sweatpants and a black tank top. Her procrastination in her schoolwork meant she probably wasn't going anywhere for the day anyway. Sliding her feet into a pair of slippers, she picked up her phone and headed for the kitchen, coffee's siren song singing her name.

     As she waited for the coffee to brew, she spotted Ville's face on the Neon Noir album peeking out from underneath a pile of junk mail next to the microwave. Smiling softly, Bethany picked it up and finally unwrapped it, silently cursing herself for not taking it with her the night before to have Ville sign it. Distantly she had the thought that there would certainly be another opportunity for that, but she shook it off quickly.

     The night had been wonderful, magical even. It had breathed new life into her, and she was thankful. But it was over now, and in the light of the morning, she knew she had to be realistic. No matter what he had said, Ville was a busy, successful musician, one who had no doubt had more conversations with sad, pretty women than he could count. He was a kind man, and he'd had the opportunity to make her smile, so he had taken advantage of it. He would likely forget all about it, about Bethany, within the week. Onto the next. There would always be someone else who needed a magical night to cheer them up...

     Just as Bethany was beginning to feel traitorously morose, her phone chirped on the counter, twice. She picked it up, wondering what Vera could possibly be doing up at this foul hour, only for her stomach to drop as she read the notifications:

     VV - new message
     VV - new MMS

     She immediately opened the message, her heart thudding in her chest.

     "Good morning, dear Bethany. Sadly we must hit the old dusty trail today. I would have liked to stay another day so I could take you out for coffee, but I am merely the talent, not the guy who makes the schedules. Woe is me. I'm having a coffee anyway, and it's fine, though it would be much better with your company. I hope you have a lovely day. Maybe we can talk this evening, if you aren't too busy? vv."

     Next Bethany opened the picture message, which featured a view out the window of a tourbus with the outskirts of the city whizzing by, with Ville's hand holding a to-go cup in the foreground. She couldn't contain the goofy smile that spread across her face, her hands shaking in a way that made her oddly annoyed with herself. He was just a man, she told herself. There was no reason to get this excited. And yet...

     She jumped as her coffee maker beeped, moving quickly to grab a mug and prepare her own cup. When it was finished, she took a steadying sip, then made her way out to her balcony just off the living room. It was a crisp, cool morning, but the sunshine was delightfully warm. She looked out at the early morning view from her apartment, over the small town that was just beginning to wake on this lazy Saturday, and smiled as she took a picture of her own. She sat at the small patio table and composed an accompanying text message.

     "Good morning to you too! What a nice surprise. Brightens up my long day of catching up on neglected schoolwork, that's for sure. Sucks you have to leave, but you do have other weepy girls and boys to make smile, so off you go. I'm free anytime tonight, if you would like to talk. No pressure, of course. I hope you have a good day and get some much-deserved rest."

     She pressed send before she could think better of it and returned shakily to her coffee, still smiling. A bird trilled somewhere off to her left and a gentle breeze lifted her still-damp hair, and she could feel that warm, brilliant lightness growing once again within her chest. She knew she should tamp it down, knew this was too good to be true, or could indeed be true but would be painfully short-lived, or-

     chirp chirp

     "Wow, what a nice view. Lucky you. If I look out this stupid window for too long I get motion sickness. 😖 And yes, I know I have a duty to bring dark, glittery joy to all the boys and girls, but it's not the same as making you smile. That's something special. I hope you're smiling right this minute. I certainly am. And while I'm in such a pleasant mood, I think I'll go take a nap. Maybe I'll have pleasant dreams. Have fun with your mortician homework, I'll give you a call when we get to the hotel tonight, I promise. vv."

     "Un. Fucking. Believable," Bethany whispered, staring at the words and reading them over several times more than was necessary. He was flirting with her. He was. This wasn't just being polite or nice, this was more. She chewed her lip, debating a response, before simply typing:

     "You'd better!"

     Out loud, she whispered to herself, "What the fuck am I doing?!"

***

     "This is stupid, all of this is stupid, I don't need to know about three quarters of this shit!" Bethany shouted, slamming her textbook shut and looking up at Vera with wild eyes. Vera, to her credit, didn't begrudge her the outburst and simply shrugged from her seat on the couch.

     "You could take a break," she pointed out, stirring her violently purple boba tea. "Unless you're enjoying this particular distraction from the big Finnish elephant in the room."

     "This isn't a distraction, this was legitimately my whole plan for the day before you barged in uninvited," Bethany grumbled, resting her forehead on the textbook in front of her. It was true, she'd been halfway through her positively tortuous paper (which she was mostly bullshitting and hoping she was getting right) when Vera had let herself in with her spare key, bearing gifts of boba tea and doughnuts. Bethany had scolded her for not even calling first, but found her temper soothed by the sugary peace offerings and allowed Vera to be her moral support as she tried to wrap up her work. She stared dejectedly at her laptop, her conclusion a barely coherent mess that seemed to mock her.

     "You said you were nearly done," Vera whined, kicking at Bethany's leg. "You've been at it all morning, give your brain a break and finish up with fresh eyes later. And get off the damn floor, your back is going to feel like hell."

     "Yeah, yeah, I know you're right," Bethany sighed, saving and backing up her work before closing her laptop. She stood slowly, grunting as several joints protested in earnest, and stretched her back. "Maybe it's time to get back into yoga..."

     "Oooh, yes," Vera grinned up at her, "get yourself all toned and flexible. Might come in handy, you know. If someone were to come visit."

     "'Veraaaa," Bethany groaned.

     "Bethyyyy," Vera mocked, patting the seat next to her. "You knew I was going to come bother you about this, don't be such a sourpuss."

     "You couldn't even give it twenty-four hours?" Bethany asked, picking up her own pink tea and plopping down beside her friend. She sucked up a tapioca ball and chewed it irritably.

     "Hear from him today?" Vera goaded, leaning into Bethany's side and fluttering her lashes.

     "First thing this morning," Bethany mumbled, looking pointedly at the floor.

     "HA!" Vera shouted triumphantly, flailing dramatically to the other end of the couch. "I knew it. Smitten, that boy is. Positively besotted."

     "I... actually think you might be right," Bethany admitted, rubbing the back of her neck self-consciously. "He was very flirty in his texts. I can't even explain it away this time."

     "Ooooooh, lemme see, lemme see!" Vera squealed, making grabby hands at Bethany's phone where it sat on the arm of the couch. Bethany handed it over, rolling her eyes.

     "You're lucky I love you," she said exasperatedly, watching as her friend scrolled happily through her texts from that morning.

     "My god, this is absolutely tooth-rotting," Vera snickered, "and I'm not talking about our dessert breakfast. He really doesn't turn it off, does he?"

     "Apparently not," Bethany said, vaguely amused.

     "And you're encouraging him," Vera went on, looking up with a raised eyebrow. "This is all fun and everything, but are you sure? If it turns out he's serious, and I suspect at this point in his life he's probably not fucking around... Are you ready to do this again?"

     Bethany was quiet then, turning her cup in her hands restlessly. That was the question, wasn't it? The quiet, nagging guilt and doubt at the back of her mind told her she had no right to be doing this. Not now, not with him. Despite how much better she had felt after the show the night before, she was in reality still grieving Mason. He'd been her rock, the man she thought she was going to marry. They'd been together for ten years before he'd died. His death had been only a year ago. Was this not incredibly disrespectful? Shouldn't she be completely disgusted with herself? If so, why then did every word from Ville feel like heaven?

     "I don't know," she said finally, looking at Vera helplessly. "I don't know, but I think I want to be. Does that make me an awful person?"

     "Oh, honey," Vera said gently, pulling Bethany into a tight hug. "No. No, it doesn't. It makes you human. Humans crave love, we crave affection, we crave companionship. We're not made to wallow in misery forever, even when we lose the ones we love. We have to keep going. If we didn't, we wouldn't survive. It's not wrong to feel what you're feeling, Bethy."

     "I feel like I'm spitting in Mason's face," Bethany whispered, her eyes burning with unshed tears. "Starting to fall for someone he set me up to meet... I feel like such an ass."

     "I think you need to reframe your thinking," Vera said carefully, pulling away and fixing Bethany with a serious look. "The last thing Mason would ever want is for you to be miserable forever. He wouldn't want you to be alone, he wouldn't want you to never feel love again. He can't be here to give you his love anymore, but he's the reason you met Ville. In a way, I think he gave you his blessing, he just didn't know it at the time."

     "That feels like looking for some kind of loophole," Bethany laughed weakly. "Like I'm trying to justify this to myself so I can do whatever I want."

     "Honey, I know this hurts, but he's gone," Vera said firmly. "He is gone, but you are still here. You are still alive. I've told you this before and I'll tell you again, your life doesn't end because his did. If what happened to Mason teaches you nothing else, let it teach you that life is short and so fucking precious. You can't afford to sit on the sidelines and let your own happiness pass you by for fear of upsetting a dead man. And he wouldn't want you to. If there's a chance of something happening here, something that would make you truly happy, Mason wouldn't want you to squander that on his account. You know that, I know you do."

     Bethany stared at Vera for a long moment, letting her words sink in. It was difficult to argue with her, and if Bethany was being honest, she didn't want to. She wanted to relax, she wanted to breathe, she wanted to put Mason's specter down. She wanted to enjoy this, whatever this was, and she didn't want to feel guilty anymore.

     "Can I do this?" she asked meekly. "Just... stop feeling like I should be ashamed of myself?"

     "Yes," Vera said kindly, squeezing her hand. "The only person judging you, is you. You can decide to stop putting that weight on yourself any time you want."

     "Okay," Bethany murmured, taking a deep, shaky breath. "Okay. I want to be happy again. I want to see where this goes. I'm scared shitless, but I'm also... I feel good, Vee. This feels good."

     "There you go," Vera smiled, leaning back in her seat. "I'm not saying it'll be easy, for about a million reasons, but good for you. Take it slow, don't get in over your head. But if what's happening right now feels good, chase that feeling, kitten. You deserve it."

     "Thank you," Bethany said, a smile creeping back onto her face. "Thank you so much, Vera. You're the best friend I've ever had "

     "Psh," Vera scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. "I just tell you the truth. If that wins me your best friend award, you need better friends."

     "Shut up," Bethany laughed. "I fuckin' love you."

     "I fuckin' love you too, sweetness."

***

     Bethany had just finished her quick dinner of chicken pesto and pasta when she heard her phone begin to ring in the living room. She dropped her dishes in the sink and practically launched herself onto the couch, answering perhaps too quickly.

     "Hello?" she said eagerly, wincing as the word left her lips. A low, rumbling laugh came through from the other end.

     "Hello," Ville said softly. "Miss me?"

     "Ah, maybe a little," Bethany said, blushing. "Sorry, I was just cleaning up after dinner and my phone was in the other room, I didn't want to miss your call so I might have briefly turned into the Flash."

     "Understandable," Ville said, and Bethany could hear that he was grinning. "Have anything good for dinner?"

     "Pasta," she said with a shrug, taking a steadying drag from what was formerly Ville's vape pen. "Nothing fancy, I'm too lazy to cook anything nice."

     "I can relate," Ville laughed. "We just got back from some steakhouse. Obviously I didn't vote for that, all I got was a salad."

     "Was it at least a good salad?" Bethany asked.

     "Not twenty dollars good, that's for sure," Ville snorted. "I would have much rather joined you for your not-fancy pasta dinner."

     "So you'd rather have coffee AND dinner with me?" Bethany teased, biting her lip.

     "I would," Ville replied. "I think I'd enjoy most things more if you were with me."

     "And why's that?" Bethany pressed. Ville chuckled softly, and Bethany heard what sounded like him falling back heavily onto a mattress.

     "Because I like you," he said slowly, exhaling a long sigh. He was quiet for a moment before speaking again hesitantly. "Is that... I mean, am I being... Ugh, words. Is this too much?"

     "W-what?" Bethany stuttered. "Is what too much?"

     "Me," Ville huffed. Bethany could picture him pinching the bridge of his nose. "I feel like I'm being a pushy bastard. I don't know what's gotten into me. My brain keeps screaming at me that I have no business speaking to you the way I have been, that you're going through something awful and I'm being a total asshole flirting with you when we only just met... But I can't stop. There's something about you I can't let go of and I don't even really want to. Is that as terrible as I feel like it is?"

     "Ville," Bethany laughed breathlessly, closing her eyes and laying back on the couch. "Would you believe I had basically the exact same conversation with Vera today?"

     "Did you really?"

     "I did," Bethany said, smiling. "She gave me some great advice and perspective."

     "Would you like to share with the class?" Ville asked.

     "Sure," Bethany giggled, staring up at the ceiling. "I felt all conflicted about everything, like I was some kind of monster for enjoying... whatever this is. Like I was disrespecting Mason's memory by talking to you and liking it as much as I am. But Vera helped me to see that I was just torturing myself for no reason. Mason wouldn't want me to punish myself by being alone and sad for the rest of my life. He doesn't feel shitty about me having fun talking to you. The only person giving me shit for it was me. So today I decided to stop beating myself up about it and go with it. Life's too short."

     "Hmmm," Ville hummed thoughtfully. "Vera really is a good friend."

     "The best," Bethany grinned. "You have to meet her properly sometime."

     "I agree," Ville said quietly. "So then... we're on the same page, you and I? I know we just met and this is sort of weird and sudden, but I do like you, very, very much. I can't just shut it off... But I don't think it bothers me."

     "I don't think it bothers me either," Bethany replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "What happens now?"

     "I have no clue," Ville admitted, laughing softly. "I've never started things this way before. I've always had a personal rule against it, to tell you the truth. This is breaking several personal rules, actually."

     "What rules are those?" Bethany asked nervously.

     "Don't catch feelings for a fan, for one," Ville chuckled. "Don't start a relationship while touring. Don't start a relationship that's going to be long distance from the get-go. It's all a recipe for disaster, and I've had several albums' worth of disasters, as you well know."

     "And yet we're still talking right now," Bethany pointed out.

     "Yes, we are," Ville said, seeming somewhat in disbelief. "I don't know what I'm doing. I don't want to hurt you."

     "So don't hurt me," Bethany said, much more calmly than she felt. "Shouldn't be that difficult, right?"

     "You wouldn't think so," Ville laughed, sounding suddenly sad. "I'm... This sounds douchey as fuck, but I can be complicated, and difficult. I lose track of what's important sometimes. I get too invested in work or too caught up in whatever is going on in my head and neglect the people I care about. I don't mean to, and I feel awful when it happens, but that's no excuse. Truthfully, it's why I've been alone for a while now. I've felt like it's kinder, not inflicting my bullshit on someone else."

     "Maybe you just need someone who understands," Bethany offered, taking another hit from her vape. "I get why you're like that. I'm certainly not going to take it personally if you vanish into your mind palace from time to time."

     "You're sweet," Ville said, sighing quietly. "And I appreciate it. But you shouldn't let me walk all over you, either. I do need to rein it in more than I do. I'm working on it, but I fall short a lot."

     "So you're not perfect?" Bethany asked in mock surprise. "I can't believe it, how could you be a human being with flaws?" Ville laughed genuinely at that.

     "Far, far from perfect," he said gently. "People tend to have this image of me in their minds, like I'm this perfect romantic ideal. That's mostly my own fault, I guess. But really I'm a shy, neurotic, workaholic homebody who tends to forget to eat, sleep, or call the people he cares about. I get moody and shitty and sometimes I'm really not great to be around. I try not to be that way, and I'm not as much of an ass as I was maybe twenty years ago, but some things don't really change."

     "It's a good thing I'm not particularly hung up on your make believe image, then," Bethany said lightly. "You can stop trying to talk me out of liking you, it's never going to work."

     "I'm getting that impression," Ville said dryly.

     "So try to relax!" Bethany laughed. "This doesn't have to be so deadly serious. Neither of us is proposing marriage or anything. Talking to you is fun, hanging out with you is fun, flirting is fun. We can just have fun and enjoy it for what it is."

     "You're right," Ville said finally, blowing out a gust of air and laughing softly to himself. "I'm sorry, you're absolutely right. Christ, why do I do this to myself?"

     "You think too much," Bethany said matter-of-factly. "I know, because I do it to. Maybe we can keep each other in check."

     "Or make each other worse."

     "A risk I am perfectly willing to take," Bethany said primly. "I will brook no further argument, we are now officially flirty text buddies. No take backsies."

     "So confident!" Ville chuckled. "That must have really been some pep talk from Vera."

     "I can give you her number if you'd like one too," Bethany grinned.

     "I don't know, I think she still might threaten to castrate me if I make you cry."

     "Oh, she'll definitely do that," Bethany laughed. "But she'll also tell you all the good shit you need to hear, so it all balances out in the end."

     "I suppose it does," Ville said thoughtfully. "I should definitely get into her good graces, I could use someone like her to kick my ass from time to time."

     "Don't put it to her that way," Bethany warned. "She'll think it's an invitation to drag you to a BDSM club on a leash, mark my words."

     "Such interesting company you keep," Ville snickered. "What about you? Do you frequently tag along with Miss Vera to BDSM clubs?"

     "Gods, no!" Bethany squeaked, turning an alarming shade of red and earning a hearty laugh from Ville's end.

     "Aww, why not?" he teased. "I think everyone should go at least once."

     "So you have?" Bethany asked, mouth agape.

     "Darling, you don't make the sort of music I make and run in the circles I've run in without ending up in a few questionable situations in sex clubs," Ville said, putting on a long-suffering air. "Rarely was it my idea in the first place, but at some point you stop asking questions of your deviant friends."

     "I- I don't even know what to say to that," Bethany said lamely.

     "I'm just winding you up," Ville assured her. "Yeah, I've been dragged to a few sex clubs but honestly, they're not that weird. No one makes you do anything you don't want to, consent is a whole big thing. Anytime I ended up in one I sat at the bar and drank the whole time. Occasionally you get a nice show from some friendly exhibitionists, but that's about the extent of it if you don't purposely seek out an extra good time for yourself. And I don't. I like my good times in private, and without all the leather and theatrics."

     "A romantic through and through, then?" Bethany laughed, rather relieved.

     "Sometimes I match that make believe ideal we discussed after all," Ville said easily. "I'm a simple man, in this way at least. I like to have fun, but mostly I like knowing that my girl is having fun. Doesn't have to be any more complicated than that."

     "Good to know," Bethany murmured, her face still burning.

     "Is it?" Ville asked, that suggestive lilt coming back into his voice. "Does this topic of conversation pique your interest?"

     "It's making me turn roughly the color of a tomato, to tell you the truth," Bethany said, hiding her face in her free hand.

     "Aww, cute," Ville crooned, clearly enjoying this. "Nothing to be shy about, you know. But I won't torment you with it anymore, unless you want me to."

     "You should probably buy me dinner first," Bethany said, her voice slightly muffled behind her fingers.

     "Ah, you're right," Ville conceded. "Where are my manners? I promise, I will take you out on a proper date for a proper dinner the first chance I get. And then I will immediately say every dirty thing I can possibly think of to make you blush the rest of the evening."

     "You're awful," Bethany laughed, shaking her head.

     "I tried to warn you," Ville said, "but no, you said you liked me and you weren't going to argue with me anymore, so now this is what you get!"

     "I still like you," Bethany sighed happily. "Even though you're awful."

     "Good," Ville said softly. "I like you too, and you're not awful at all. Opposites attract, I suppose..." He trailed off with a yawn, which Bethany couldn't help but find adorable.

     "You sound sleepy," she said, smiling fondly.

     "Exhausted," Ville admitted, his voice now sounding as if he had his face smushed against a pillow. "That nap today didn't cut it, and I have to be up at six tomorrow."

     "Go to sleep then," Bethany laughed. "Don't let me keep you awake."

     "But I'll miss you," Ville whined. Bethany giggled again, rolling her eyes.

     "You're ridiculous," she teased. "Get some sleep, you know where to find me in the morning."

     "Okay," Ville murmured, seeming to be drifting off already. "Tomorrow then. Good night, dear Bethany."

     "Good night, Ville," Bethany whispered, grinning as she ended the call. She didn't move for some time, still looking up dazedly at the ceiling.

     That happened, she thought, tapping her phone against her chin. That actually, really just happened.

     She felt like a teenager again, like she was experiencing the bloom of excitement and new romance for the first time. The lightness that had taken up residence in her chest was now joined by butterflies in her stomach, and she allowed herself to simply sit with those feelings for a time, to let them wash over her completely. She searched her soul for a sign of regret, and when she found none, she found herself smiling once again.

Chapter Text

It occurs to me that in the wake of my existential crisis last night I forgot to ask how your classwork was coming along. vv.

Trying to keep me on task, Teach?

Just looking out for your best interests. I'd offer you an opportunity for extra credit, but I probably don't have much pull with your professors... vv.

Are you propositioning me, sir?

Only a little. I know, I know, dinner first. Just let me have my fun. vv.

Do you type out 'vv.' at the end of every message, or do you still use a signature?

It's a signature. And what do you mean 'still'? Is that not something the cool kids do anymore? vv.

LOL it hasn't been for the last decade at least.

Well fuck. And everybody let me commit a technological faux pas all this time without saying anything.

Aww no, put it back! It's endearing!

Endearing like grandpa saying things like 'surfing the internet machine' unironically.

No, endearing like it's a very YOU thing to do!

I'm an old man. Practically a fossil. This world has left me behind. I can't go on.

You're not even old!! 🤣🤣🤣

Almost 47. That's like 600 in rock star years.

Think of it as being a silver fox.

That is almost worse.

Well you don't look a day over 30.

Now you're just lying.

Now YOU'RE just fishing, you narcissist.

Damn, she saw right through me.

You know you're still hot. I think you're more handsome now than ever.

That's what counts, I suppose. So, DID you get your work done or do I have to call you into my office after class?

I finished my paper. Barely. It's probably shit but it's turned in anyway. Still have some quizzes to finish tonight, but after that I'm pretty much caught up. Is that satisfactory, sir?

If you keep calling me that I'm only going to get more obnoxious, you are aware of this, yes?

Oooh, is that a thing for you?

Could be. Only one way to find out.

What about 'daddy'? 😜

And the mood is dead. Well done, you flew too close to the sun.

Good, we're in agreement then. That one is awful.

Truly. As if I don't already feel like I'm robbing the cradle.

Do not start again!

You're not my mom!

Thank the gods for small mercies.

I'll have you know my mother thinks I am a delight, thank you very much.

Someone has to.

You're so much sassier through text, you know that?

You like it.

I do. Feel free to roast me aloud as well whenever the mood strikes, I encourage it.

Is THAT a thing for you?

Oh come on now, let me maintain some semblance of mystery. Can't go blowing my entire load in one conversation.

Gross.

You started it!

...okay fine I guess I did. You win this one... Sir.

Lovely, now I have to go onstage all hot and bothered. This is all your fault.

Surely that can only help your performance. Go be extra sexy, get some bras thrown at you. It'll be fine!

I WILL get you back for your teasing. You will rue the day, Bethany.

Oh yes, I'm sure I will regret all of my life choices in that moment. I will certainly be taught a lesson~

Oh, okay. I'm definitely putting this phone down and doing my job now, before I do something very stupid.

Break a leg, handsome! 😘

Chapter Text

     Bethany parked in the back lot of Franklin and Sons funeral home with a wide yawn, rolling down the window a crack so she could vape without letting too much rain inside the car. The morning began with a deafening crack of thunder and an almighty downpour, and it was showing no sign of stopping any time soon. Bethany was about twenty minutes early, having left home with enough time to spare if everyone else on the road had suddenly forgotten how to drive in shitty weather, as usual. Traffic hadn't been so terrible, however, and she'd even been able to swing by Dunkin' for a coffee. Smirking, she brought it to her lips and snapped a quick selfie before typing a message to send along with it to Ville.

     "Good morning from your favorite basic bitch. Nothing like pumpkin spice on a cold, rainy morning amirite??"

     Giggling to herself, she rolled the window back up before climbing out of her car and making a mad dash for the back door, having forgotten her umbrella at her apartment. Once inside, she gave her hair a little shake, grabbing a tissue from a box on the shipping and receiving desk and delicately dabbing at her face to absorb the stray rain drops before they could totally destroy her makeup.

     "It's really a nightmare out there," came an older man's voice. Bethany looked up to see Andrew Franklin, the head director come into the back room, grinning sympathetically at her.

     "That's an understatement," she laughed, pulling off her jacket. "Morning Mr. Franklin. Besides the rain, how's it going?"

     "Can't complain," he said pleasantly, taking her jacket and placing it on a coatrack for her. "Your hair looks nice. When'd you get that done?"

     "Oh, thanks!" Bethany said, touching her choppy black locks. "A few days ago. My friend convinced me to go to the salon. We went to a show on Friday night and she wouldn't stand for it if I went with my depression 'do."

     "Sometimes a little self-care makes all the difference," Mr. Franklin said kindly as they made their way out to the offices. "What show did you go see?"

     "Ah, the singer from my favorite band put out a solo album recently," Bethany explained, heat creeping into her cheeks. "He was performing in Pittsburgh. It was great, he was wonderful, as always."

     "Handsome fella, is he?" Mr. Franklin asked, giving her a knowing look. Aaaaand busted.

     "Quite," she laughed sheepishly. As though on cue, her phone buzzed to life in her pocket, and she had to restrain herself from immediately pulling it out to check it. "I met him, actually. He's very sweet. I had a really awesome night."

     "I'm glad to hear it," Mr. Franklin said, sitting behind his desk and rifling through a stack of files on his desk. "I know things have been incredibly tough for you lately. You carry it well, especially here, but you needed a night to have fun. I can tell it's done you good."

     "It really has," Bethany said happily, reaching out and taking the folders Mr. Franklin held out to her. "Chemical and prep room restock orders today?"

     "If you can make any headway," Mr. Franklin sighed, rolling his eyes. "Still dealing with supply chain issues. I think there's still a limit on chemical quantities, so just get what you can. The rest might have to be off brand if our usual is out of stock. No big deal, just do your best."

     "Always do, boss," Bethany smiled, turning and making her way to her own desk. She sat down and booted up her computer, taking a sip of her coffee as she waited for it to hum to life. She slipped her phone out of her pocket and opened her messages, finding two from Ville.

     "Ick. That stuff is too sugary for me, but it makes sense for you. Maybe that's what makes you so sweet."

     "Can you please punch me through the phone? Because that was lame even for me."

     Bethany stifled a snicker and shook her head.

     "Nope, no physical violence for cheesy lines. I love that shit. Feel free to get even worse."

     She set her phone on her desk and logged into her work account, opening the supply order portal and scanning the lists Mr. Franklin had given her. Stock was pretty lean these days with the order limits, and deliveries had been consistently backed up for months. She grimaced and started filling in the request fields, hoping they'd have enough to make do until the shipments arrived.

     buzz buzz

     "You just want to take screenshots so you can blackmail me later. I see how you are. I won't fall for your tricks. Also, aren't you at work? Tsk tsk, stay off your phone, young lady."

     Bethany rolled her eyes and typed a quick reply.

     "Please, it's early as balls, it's dead in here. GEDDIT? IT'S DEAD IN HERE! 🤣🤣🤣"

     Chuckling to herself, she finished her ordering and submitted it to the distributors, knowing full well her email inbox would soon be inundated  with canned messages about how Franklin and Sons is a valued customer and their orders would be filled to the best of company XYZ's ability. Same shit, different day.

     buzz buzz

     "*saves shitty joke to blackmail folder* Have a good day and stop texting me on the clock, I don't want you to get in trouble. I'll talk to you tonight. ❤️"

     Bethany's giggle at the first line escaped before she could stop it, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. To her relief, she heard Mr. Franklin on the phone in his office, and she let out a sigh. Her eyes lingered on the heart emoji, feeling stupidly pleased. He hadn't done that before.

     "What's got you in such a good mood?" someone asked over her shoulder, and Bethany nearly jumped out of her skin.

     "Jesus Christ, Rebecca!" she gasped, clutching her chest as she turned to face her coworker. Rebecca Valens was the funeral home's restorative artist and chief embalmer, and was currently cackling.

     "You are too easy," she grinned, leaning against some filing cabinets. "Cute haircut, bee-tee-dubs. For real though, what's got you smiling at your phone like an idiot?"

     "My friend said something funny," Bethany said, trying to sound nonchalant. "He's a real comedian."

     "A man-friend, huh?" Rebecca asked, raising her eyebrows. "Good for you."

     "Oh, don't do that," Bethany sighed, shaking her head. "Not every man I talk to is a potential love interest, you know."

     "Sure, sure," Rebecca said. Then she winked merrily. "Just the ones that make you turn pink as a rose with a text."

     "Don't you dare go gossiping about this!" Bethany scolded her, furrowing her brow. "You know I hate when everyone's talking about me."

     "My lips are sealed," Rebecca vowed, miming zipping her lips shut. "A smile looks good on you, though." She gave Bethany's shoulder a gentle squeeze as she made her way back down the hall to the prep room, tying her long blonde hair up as she went. Bethany sighed and turned back to her desk, deciding to start sorting through recent decedents' contact information to see if there were any calls she needed to make. She put her phone into her desk drawer to reduce the temptation and set to work for the day.

***

     The rain had finally let up by the time Bethany walked back to her car in the afternoon, the beginnings of a headache forming just above her left eyebrow. It had been a long day of talking with distraught families and fielding dumb questions from shipping departments, and she really just wanted to go home and take a long, hot bath.

     Just as she started her car, her phone started to ring. She slipped it from her pocket, excited until she saw the name on the caller ID: Tracy Collar. Mason's mother. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Tracy to call, as she and Bethany had been quite close during Bethany and Mason's relationship. Now though, the idea of speaking with her made Bethany cringe. Bracing herself, she accepted the call.

     "Hi, Tracy!" she said brightly, hoping it sounded natural. "What's up?"

     "Hey honey, how are you?" Tracy asked kindly.

     "I'm good, just got off work. Long day."

     "Aww, well at least it's over," Tracy said sympathetically. "I just wanted to see if you were still planning on coming to lunch with me and the girls on Wednesday. You still have Wednesdays off, right?"

     "Oh, right!" Bethany exclaimed, gritting her teeth. She'd forgotten all about Tracy inviting her to lunch with her and her two daughters, Mary and Cassie. Tracy had really made an effort to keep her involved with the Collar family after Mason's death, which Bethany truly did appreciate. At this particular moment, however, she could feel a tiny knife of guilt twisting in her stomach. "Geez, I almost forgot. Yeah, I'm still off. I'll be there. Thanks again for inviting me!"

     "Of course, dear," Tracy said gently. "Like I always say, you'll always be family to us, no matter what." Bethany winced slightly.

     "That means a lot to me, Tracy," she said softly. "I'll see you Wednesday."

     "See you!" Tracy trilled, ending the call.

     "God fucking dammit," Bethany growled, resting her forehead on her steering wheel. No matter what, huh?

     Heaving a tired sigh, Bethany slowly pulled out of the parking lot, making the twenty minute drive back to her apartment before she even realized it. She trudged up the steps to her door and went inside, locking the door behind her and kicking off her shoes. She tossed her purse on the couch and headed straight for the bathroom, where she started running a bath before taking off her work clothes and tossing them in the hamper.

     Just as she was about to step into the tub, her phone began to ring again. She inhaled sharply, ready to let fly a string of curses, until she saw who it was. Her shoulders relaxed as she answered the call.

     "Hey, you."

     "Hey, you," Ville parroted. "You home?"

     "Yeah, thankfully," Bethany said, carefully lowering herself into the steaming water. She let out an involuntary moan of relief. "And now it's bathtime."

     "Oh, that's what that sound was for?" Ville asked, his voice seeming slightly hoarser than usual. Bethany laughed and rolled her eyes.

     "Yes, that's what that sound was for, dirty mind," she admonished, tilting her head back and closing her eyes.

     "You enable me, don't act innocent," Ville laughed. "And thinking about you in a bathtub really isn't much of a step down from the alternative, just so you know."

     "Mm, well, you'll just have to find some way to cope," Bethany sighed, stretching one leg up and then the other. "Today sucked, I need this."

     "By all means, don't stop on my account," Ville said. "Why did today suck?"

     "Just dealt with a lot of difficult people," Bethany said softly. "The families get a pass for obvious reasons. Idiot product distributors on the other hand, not so much. And then..." She was about to tell him about Tracy, but hesitated.

     "Yes?" Ville said, urging her on.

     "Ah... Mason's mom called," Bethany mumbled. "She invited me to lunch with her and Mason's sisters on Wednesday."

     "Oh, well, that's nice of her," Ville said awkwardly. "Right?"

     "It is," Bethany agreed, rubbing her forehead tiredly. "She does it fairly often, inviting me to do stuff with the family. I was technically part of the family for years, you know? But now I feel a little weird."

     "Because of me?"

     "Because of us, not just you," Bethany corrected, making a face. "It's not like you've done something wrong. And neither have I. I guess I never gave much thought to how I'd navigate this if I started seeing someone again, that's all."

     "Do you think they'll be upset?" Ville asked.

     "I don't know?" Bethany said, chewing her lip. "I'm not sure what they're expecting of me, when they'll be okay with me... moving on. Or if they'll still want me around when they find out I am."

     "It's not like you have to tell them," Ville pointed out. "At least not right this second. We've only been talking for a few days, after all."

     "I know, I know," Bethany groaned, sinking deeper into the tub. "I'm just..."

     "Thinking too much," Ville finished for her.

     "Yes, that," Bethany laughed softly. "So I'm going to stop that, right now. Tell me about your day instead."

     "Hmm, my day was fine," Ville said. "I did a meet-and-greet this morning after I told you to stop being an inattentive employee. Signed a bunch of stuff, gave lots of hugs. I'm probably going to come down with a nice flu now so that will be fun."

     "The hazards of stardom," Bethany said dryly.

     "Honestly," Ville snorted. "It was nice though, I'm glad there are still people happy to see me."

     "There will always be people happy to see you," Bethany said. "Even when you really are old and gray and hobbling onstage with a walker."

     "Trust me, I'll hang it up long before that point," Ville laughed. "If I even live that long."

     "Don't say stuff like that," Bethany said sharply, before she could stop herself. Ville was quiet for a long moment.

     "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I wasn't thinking. You're right, I shouldn't say things like that so carelessly. I won't do it again."

     "No, it's okay," Bethany sighed, annoyed with herself. "I know you didn't mean anything by it. I'm just over-sensitive, that's all."

     "You have every reason to be," Ville said gently. "It really is a bad habit. I spent most of my twenties figuring I wouldn't make it to thirty. Hell, I almost didn't. It's just something I say. It's not good though, I probably shouldn't tempt fate after having a few near misses already."

     "Definitely not," Bethany agreed. "I want you around for a good, long time. I only just finally got to meet you, after all."

     "I certainly don't want our time cut short either," Ville said with a chuckle. "There's still so much we need to do..."

     "I'm sure you're just brimming with ideas," Bethany smirked.

     "I have one or two," Ville said casually. "I can't promise they're good ideas, but they might be fun anyway."

     "Hmmm," Bethany hummed, smiling lazily. "When do you have a few days off?"

     "Eager, are we?" Ville asked, his grin evident in his voice.

     "Maybe I just want to see your pretty face," Bethany laughed. "We could hold hands, or slow dance with full arm extension to leave room for Jesus. I have no idea what else you could be thinking of "
 
      "Oh, of course you don't," Ville said sarcastically. "As it happens, in a couple weeks I have a three day break. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Would you be amenable to entertaining a gentleman caller, dear lady?"

     "Well, as long as he really is a gentleman..."

     "The gentlest," Ville affirmed. "Right up until you ask him not to be, anyway."

     "Terrible," Bethany giggled.

     "Every inch," Ville said smugly. "But enough of that. I unfortunately do have to run, show starts in half an hour. You finish enjoying your bath and get something to eat, okay? Maybe get to bed early, I'll let you sleep. We can talk in the morning. I'll get my flight to Pittsburgh booked for my days off and I'll let you know when you can come pick me up. Get it marked on your calendar with little black hearts."

     "You're duuuuuumb," Bethany giggled, kicking her feet in the water.

     "You make me that way," Ville said seriously. "You're some sort of wicked love witch. I never had a chance."

     "It's all going according to plan," Bethany smiled, her heart feeling as though it might burst. "Go on, have a good show. I think I will hit the hay early tonight. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

     "Sounds good. Have a good night, sweetheart."

     "You too," Bethany said before hanging up and setting the phone down on the floor a safe distance away from the tub. She covered her face with her hands and made a very undignified noise, grinning uncontrollably.

     Dumb, perfect, adorable man.

Chapter Text

     The sun was shining brightly overhead as Bethany walked down the main drag of town on her way to Aunt Chrissy's diner, fallen leaves crunching satisfyingly under her feet. It was such a nice day that she'd decided to forgo driving to meet the Collars for lunch in favor of getting some fresh air. Fall was in full swing now in mid-October and the vibe of her favorite season alone was enough to calm her nervousness. There was no actual reason to be nervous, or so she kept trying to tell herself. This was a perfectly normal lunch outing and she wasn't going to be interrogated about her love life, since as far as Tracy and the girls knew, she didn't have one.

     Truthfully she really didn't. Things with Ville were great, of course, and their texts and phone calls over the last week had been the highlight of her days. But it had only been days, and for the most part they kept things light and humorous between them. After the first few intense conversations where they'd debated the wisdom of this entire arrangement, they had settled on leaning into a casual and low pressure relationship. There had been no dramatic declarations of deep feelings beyond "I like you" (which Ville had suggested they both get tattooed somewhere dumb like the bottom of their feet as a joke, which Bethany had quickly shot down). Therefore, there was nothing to share with anyone, least of all her deceased boyfriend's relatives. Bethany could only hope her private pleasure with the whole bizarre situation didn't show on her face.

     As she opened the door to the diner, Bethany was immediately overwhelmed with the comforting smell of coffee and breakfast food, and her face broke into a smile. She spotted the titular Chrissy behind the counter chatting with a couple of regulars and gave her a friendly wave.

     "Oh, hey Beth!" Chrissy called, returning the wave energetically. Her vibrant red curls shook with her movement, and her eyes crinkled at the corners when she smiled. Bethany had always thought Chrissy had a real Molly Weasley vibe. She treated everyone like they were her family and it endeared her to everyone she met.

     "What's up, Chris?" Bethany asked, coming over to lean on the counter.

     "Not a lot," Chrissy admitted, refilling one of the older men's coffee. "It's been a quiet day so far. I think people are taking advantage of the break in all the gloomy weather. How are you? How's school?"

     "I'm doing great, actually," Bethany said honestly. "School is a nightmare, of course. I thought my suffering would end after prerequisites, but no. Still tearing my hair out, questioning my life choices every other day."

     "Aww, I'm sure you're doing just fine," Chrissy said encouragingly, grabbing a slice of coffee cake and sliding it over to Bethany. "Fresh out of the oven, go on and have some on the house."

     "You spoil me," Bethany grinned, grabbing a fork and digging in. The coffee cake had the perfect crackly sugar crust on top, and she hummed happily as she chewed. "You're a goddess, you know that?"

     "It's amazing I can fit my giant head through the door every day, the way you compliment me," Chrissy laughed. "Whatcha up to today, girly?"

     "Meeting Tracy and the girls," Bethany replied, taking the small glass of milk Chrissy offered her gratefully. "You know, the monthly lunch date."

     "That's great!" Chrissy said, wiping her hands in a dish towel. "It's so nice to see you all still spending time together."

     "Yeah," Bethany sighed, looking wistfully out the window. "The Collars have always been good to me, especially when my family has been a pain in my ass. I appreciate them a lot."

     "I know they appreciate you, too," Chrissy said kindly. "How have you been holding up? You look good. More bright eyed and bushy tailed than you had been."

     "I'm doing much better lately," Bethany said carefully. "I've been getting out more, staying more on top of stuff I need to get done. Vera got kind of sick of my BS and forced me to leave my apartment last week. She had the right idea, as usual."

     "Ohh, that girl," Chrissy laughed, shaking her head. "She was here the other day actually, her and that writer friend of yours. She said the two of you went to a concert. She might have also mentioned you got to meet a certain singer..."

     "Oh, way to go, Vera," Bethany groaned. Chrissy giggled and gave her a swat with the dish towel.

     "Hey, no big deal, I'm just teasing," she said. "I remember you coming in here when you were in high school, wearing T-shirts with him on them. What was his name again?"

     "Ville Valo," Bethany said. "He sang for HIM, they broke up a while ago. He was here last week on his solo tour."

     "Good for him!" Chrissy said with a nod. "Vera said he's still got it. What was he like when you met him?"

     "He's lovely," Bethany said, grinning despite herself. "We had a really good talk... Honestly I think the whole reason I'm feeling better is because of that, silly as it might sound."

     "That's not silly at all!" Chrissy said, her eyes twinkling. "So... Was there a spark? Come on, you can tell Aunt Chrissy." Bethany stared at her, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights.

     "What all did Vee tell you, exactly?" she asked suspiciously.

     "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," Chrissy winked. "I think she had to tell someone or else she would have exploded."

     "I'm going to kick her ass," Bethany sighed, shaking her head.

     "Better me than someone else," Chrissy said with a shrug. "You know I won't say anything to anyone. I, for one, am very happy for you. Whatever comes of it, it's nice to see you looking like yourself again. I think Mason's happy too, wherever he is." Chrissy patted Bethany's hand and glanced up as the bell over the door jingled, announcing the arrival of the Collar women.

     "Bethy!" Mary exclaimed, hurrying over to give Bethany a big hug. "I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

     "Probably because you haven't," Bethany laughed, giving the younger woman a squeeze. "All I do is work and beg my professors for mercy these days."

     "That's why you're Mr. Franklin's favorite," Mary grinned. "Even his sons play second fiddle to you, I hear."

     "Won't mean much if I never get licensed," Bethany said with a roll of her eyes.

     "You stress too much," Tracy admonished, coming over for her turn for a hug. "I'm sure you're doing much better than you think."

     "Thanks, Trace," Bethany smiled, looking up at her. Tracy was a tall, thin older woman with dark brunette hair and warm brown eyes, and both of her daughters were practically carbon copies of her. They reminded Bethany of supermodels, and she always felt small and mousy in comparison.

     "You're going to be the best mortician in the country someday," Cassie chimed in, giving Bethany's hand a squeeze. Cassie was the youngest of the Collar kids at seventeen, and had secretly always been Bethany's favorite of the two girls. She was optimistic and cheerful at all times, and it was hard not to let it rub off on you after spending enough time with her.

     "Thanks, guys," Bethany said, her cheeks turning pink. "How about we go sit down before I float away on a cloud of glowing praise?"

     "I'll bring over some menus!" Chrissy said brightly as the women sat down in one of the cozy booths, taking off their jackets and settling in. Chrissy bustled over with the menus and three mugs, which she quickly filled with coffee before returning to the counter.

     "How's the dog grooming business going?" Bethany asked Tracy, beginning the tedious task of emptying far too many creamers into her drink. The Collars had owned the local pet store, aptly named 'Collars', for decades. They were remarkably successful, even with the big chains popping up all around the area. Around six months earlier, they'd decided to offer dog grooming to stay competitive. Tracy groaned and shook her head.

     "Remind me who thought adding a groomer to the store was a good idea again?" she sighed, stirring a Splenda packet into her own cup. "Oh, right. That was me. We've gone through four hires already, and all of them, quite frankly, were terrible. I don't know if we just have the worst luck or if there's absolutely no one who knows how to give a dog a haircut in the tri-state area."

     "It's not like we're offering crap pay, either," Mary grumbled. Mary was the store manager, and thus also the hiring manager. "It's like a dollar more an hour than PetSmart to start! I think someone's put a curse on us."

     "We'll find someone eventually," Cassie said confidently. "And if not, maybe I'll learn how to groom dogs and we'll call it a day."

     "Oh, no," Tracy laughed. "I remember the state of your Barbies' hair, no one in their right mind would let you near their pet with the clippers."

     "Customers don't have to know about that, mother!" Cassie exclaimed, shooting Tracy a look. "I'd imagine if I go to dog cosmetology school or whatever I'll probably get a little less risky with the scissors."

     They all laughed, and the conversation continued to flow easily. Bethany found herself relaxing, feeling silly for being so nervous before.  She really had to stop that overthinking thing.

     buzz buzz

     Bethany blinked and glanced at her phone where it sat on the table, the screen quickly flashing to inform her that Ville had sent her a message. She looked around at the other women who were deep in discussion about a new applicant they were considering, so she decided it was probably fine to be on her phone for a moment. She tapped the notification and had to restrain a snort at the message.

     "Burst into flames yet?"

     Bethany quickly typed her reply:

     "Nah, everything's fine. I'm a dumbass."

     She set her phone back down just as Chrissy came back around to take their food order. The group decided to split an appetizer platter as usual, and Chrissy disappeared again, hurrying to the kitchen.

     "So, anyway," Tracy was saying, "to get off the subject of the store before I have a nervous breakdown, I've been thinking. I think we should throw our Halloween party again this year. We skipped it last year because none of us were really in the spirit, but I'd really like to get back in the swing of things."

     "Really?" Cassie gasped, looking delighted. "Oh, my gosh, yes! Yes, yes, yes, I have so many ideas saved on Pinterest right now, it's unhealthy."

     "Only if Beth does everyone's makeup again," Mary piped up with a smile in Bethany's direction. "You're a special effects makeup wizard."

     "I'm really not!" Bethany laughed. "I look tutorials up on YouTube and wing it. You've seen me do it!"

     "Yeah, but being able to actually recreate the look in the video by the end is pretty friggin' impressive," Cassie argued. "I tried it once and I just looked like I'd glued toilet paper to my face and splattered myself with fake blood."

     "I mean, that kind of is the process," Bethany said with a shrug.

     "But it needs the artist's touch!" Tracy grinned. "I think I'd like to do it on Halloween proper this year, since the 31st is a Saturday. What do you say, Beth, you in?"

     Bethany froze then, remembering her conversation with Ville about his visit the day before. His days off were the 30th, 31st, and the 1st. His plane would land on Friday morning.

     "Oh, crap," she muttered, rubbing her forehead. "I just realized, I have a friend coming in from out of town that weekend."

     "So bring them along!" Mary said cheerfully. "The more the merrier. Unless they're not a Halloween person, but I have trouble believing you have any friends who aren't Halloween people."

     "Oh, he's definitely a Halloween person," Bethany laughed nervously. "Not so much a people person, though. I don't know how he'd feel about a party with people he doesn't know."

     "He?" Tracy asked, seemingly intrigued. "Is this a new friend of yours?"

     "Mom, don't be weird," Mary said chidingly. "No need to give her the third degree."

     "I'm not!" Tracy protested, taking a delicate sip of her coffee. "I'm just curious. We know most of Bethany's friends."

     "Most of my friends have been my friends since high school," Bethany said carefully. "But uh... Yeah, this is a new friend. Very new, actually. We met last weekend at a show."

     "Ooh, fun," Cassie smiled. "Was it Ville Valo?"

     "What?" Bethany squeaked, her heart leaping into her throat.

     "The show," Cassie clarified. "I know Mace bought you tickets before... well, you know."

     "Oh!" Bethany said, swallowing hard. "Yeah, yeah it was. Vera and I went. It was nice, we had a lot of fun."

     "I'm sure Mason would be glad to know that," Tracy said softly. "He was so excited to surprise you with those tickets. He knew you'd be over the moon."

     "I was," Bethany said with a nod, her eyes downcast. She could feel the guilt and sadness creeping in again. "He couldn't have given me a better last gift."

     They were all quiet for a moment, and Cassie reached across the table to give Bethany's hand a reassuring squeeze. Bethany looked up into the girl's kind eyes and managed a smile as Chrissy came back with their lunch and sat it down in front of them.

     "Anything else I can get you, ladies?" she asked gently, sensing the mood at the table. The women all shook their heads, and Chrissy nodded and swept off quietly.

     "So, what's your friend's name?" Mary asked, keeping her tone light as she took a french fry from the heaping plate of food.

     "Oh, um," Bethany hesitated, casting around her brain for some sort of answer. "His name's Will."

     Well, it's not a complete lie, she thought, cringing inwardly. This was not where she'd wanted this conversation to go at all.

     "You said he's from out of town," Mary continued. "What brought him to a show here?"

     "Ah, it was the best date for him to see Ville's show," Bethany invented quickly. "He works a lot, but he's a pretty hardcore fan, so, you know. Come hell or high water, he was going to get to one of the shows."

     "That's dedication," Tracy chuckled.

     "Seems like Ville Valo inspires that in people," Mary said, giving Bethany a knowing look. "How many posters did you have, again...?"

     "Please don't," Bethany said, pulling a face. "I was a weird teenager, let my cringe rest in peace, I beg you."

     "He is good-looking," Cassie admitted. "I'm not really big on his music, it's a little depressing for my tastes. But he's nice to look at."

     "Anyway, definitely bring Will along to the party," Mary said with a tone of finality. "He'll warm up to everyone. It'll be fine!"

     "I, uh, I'll talk to him about it," Bethany said lamely, picking at a napkin. "We'll see."

     Everyone seemed satisfied with that, and conversation turned to party planning and decoration ideas. Bethany participated in the least stilted fashion she could manage, but on the inside she was trying to tamp down her panic. If she didn't go to this party, that would go over really poorly. If she brought Ville to this party, especially after feeding the Collars that cobbled together cover story, that would most likely also go over poorly. Maybe a meteor would strike earth on Halloween morning and she could avoid this whole mess. That was a possibility, right?

     Ville's just going to love this.

Chapter Text

     "Huh. That is quite the pickle you've gotten yourself into."

     "Me?!" Bethany cried, putting her hand on her hip and glaring at her phone. "This is not a solitary pickle, you are also inhabiting the pickle."

     "I wasn't involved!" Ville protested. "You're the one who made up a fake story. 'Will', by the way, really?"

     "I panicked!" Bethany huffed, throwing herself down on the couch. "What, should I have told them you're the friend?"

     "Why not?" Ville asked. "We could plausibly have become friends. The worst that could have happened would have been them not believing you. Didn't they know Mason got you backstage?"

     "They didn't seem to," Bethany sighed. "Fucking hell, I'm such a moron."

     "No, you're not," Ville said gently. "You just psyched yourself out. Look, it's not really that bad. I can go with you to the party, surprise the fuck out of everyone, and you can tell them that you felt weird about saying we're friends. I'm sure this is not your first time at the awkwardness rodeo."

     "Oh, thanks," Bethany said sarcastically.

     "Am I wrong?" Ville sing-songed.

     "No," Bethany grumbled. "Gods, this is the most absurd thing ever. Why have you turned my life into a fucking sitcom?"

     "I'd watch it," Ville laughed. "Only if you played yourself, though. No one else could capture your beauty. And maybe if Johnny Depp played me..."

     "You're dumb," Bethany snorted.

     "So you keep telling me. I'm not the one who set themselves up for this clusterfuck, though, so really..."

     "You just told me I'm not a moron!" Bethany pouted.

     "You're not a moron," Ville said, "but that doesn't mean you're not a bit dumb sometimes."

     "Birds of a feather, then," Bethany sighed tiredly, rubbing her eyes. "I don't know. I guess we can go make an appearance at the party at least. Everyone can have a nice laugh at my expense."

     "Don't worry," Ville chuckled. "I'll vamp and take all the focus off of you, I can handle it."

     "The selfless hero," Bethany said dryly. "I can never tell if you love or hate attention."

     "Yes."

     Bethany laughed, feeling a soft tug of affection in her heart. Ville was somehow exactly like she'd always imagined him to be, and also not at all that way. Getting to know him personally, the last vestiges of being starstruck were fading away, and she found herself being drawn more and more to the real person she was lucky enough to get to see.

     "What are you thinking about so hard over there?" Ville asked, drawing Bethany out of her reverie.

     "How much I like you," she said dreamily.

     "Yuck, feelings," Ville said, making a retching noise.

     "Right, I forgot," Bethany said, rolling her eyes good-naturedly, "you've never had a single feeling in your life. Not a one. And you've certainly never shared any of those nonexistent feelings or built an entire career upon them or anything of the sort."

     "Never," Ville said seriously. "I'll tell you a secret, though."

     "I do love secrets," Bethany grinned, knowing where this was going.

     "Good, so you'd better not tell anyone," Ville said conspiratorially. "I do have one feeling. I like you, too."

     "Awww," Bethany cooed, blushing at the pure cheese of it all. They both laughed, Ville's own laughter trailing into a yawn. Bethany looked over at the clock, surprised to see it was already midnight.

     "I should probably go to bed soon," Ville sighed, clearly making a similar observation. "We have a bunch of back to back shows over the next few days. I'm going to be stupid busy."

     "Yeah, I've been informed my upcoming week is going to be a shitshow, too," Bethany mumbled tiredly. "There's a funeral service scheduled every day, and two on Wednesday, so they're pulling me in on my day off."

     "Duty calls for us all," Ville said dully. "I am going to go now, I think. I'll try to talk as much as I can this weekend, but please don't hate me if I'm a little MIA."

     "I could never hate you," Bethany said gently. "I won't be much better come Monday. It is what it is."

     "It'll make Halloween weekend that much better," Ville said, and Bethany could hear the smile in his voice.

     "I can't wait," she said softly, biting her lip.

     "Neither can I."

Chapter Text

     Bethany bounced on the balls of her feet, looking anxiously around the crowded airport. She'd gotten to the arrival gates right on time according to the information Ville had given her, and she could see people filtering in from the flight from South Carolina. There was no sign of Ville's tall, black-clad figure however, and the anticipation was threatening to give her a heart attack.

     chirp chirp

     "INCOMING!!!"

     Bethany looked up quickly from her phone, eyes wide, only to be confused when she still didn't see Ville anywhere. Then she stumbled forward under the weight of a crushing, high-speed hug from behind.

     "Hello, beautiful," Ville purred in her ear. She spun around with a startled gasp and looked up at him, seeing her bewildered reflection in his dark sunglasses. Reflexively she gave him a swift punch to the arm.

     "You scared the shit out of me!" she exclaimed, a delirious grin spreading across her face despite her indignant tone. "How did you sneak up on me like that?"

     "I'm a wizard, obviously," Ville said, smiling brightly. "Sorry for scaring you, I couldn't resist."

     "Dumb," Bethany giggled, pulling him into a proper hug. He was warm and his jacket was soft against her cheek, and she practically melted as his arms wrapped tightly around her. They stayed like that for a long moment, as if grounding themselves in the reality of actually seeing each other again.

     "I missed you," Ville mumbled into her hair, his fingers trailing gently up and down her spine. "It seems weird to say that, but I really did."

     "It's not weird," Bethany said softly, tilting her head up to press a gentle kiss to the slightly stubbly underside of his jaw. "I missed you too." She smiled with satisfaction at the color that rose in Ville's face at the kiss and pulled away slightly. "How about we get out of here before some eagle-eyed onlooker recognizes you and we get mobbed?"

     "You vastly overestimate my popularity," Ville chuckled, shifting his backpack on his shoulder. "It's not like the good old days when I was too pretty for my own good and went everywhere in mascara and leather pants..." He looked wistfully off into the distance, earning him a snicker from Bethany.

     "No one told you you had to stop," she said, elbowing him in the ribs.

     "I told me I had to stop," Ville laughed. "The magic has faded, now it would just be sad. Besides, the chafing." He shuddered dramatically and took Bethany's hand, beginning to steer them toward the exit.

     "Damn," Bethany said ruefully, giving his fingers a squeeze. "And here I was, planning on asking if you'd consider bringing those pants out of retirement sometime."

     "For you, maybe," Ville said, glancing down at her and lowering his sunglasses to give her a wink. "I might need some convincing, however."

     "Noted," Bethany said, her cheeks growing warm. Ville's grin grew somehow wider and he gently bumped his hip against hers.

     "Wanna go get some coffee?" he asked. "I believe I owe you one, after all."

     "That sounds incredible," Bethany replied. "Getting up at 5:30 to get here was not a fun time."

     "Know anywhere good that's not a Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts?" Ville asked teasingly. "I know that might be a challenge, what with your basic bitch tendencies and all."

     "Ooh, he's got jokes today!" Bethany cackled, lowering her own sunglasses from the top of her head as they stepped out into the early morning sunshine. "As a matter of fact, you snob, I do know a nice place about twenty minutes from here. The coffee is excellent, and their pastries are even better. So, there." She stuck her tongue out at him petulantly.

     "You'd better put that back where it came from, young lady," Ville drawled, raising an eyebrow, "before I start getting ideas."

     "I'd like to remind you that you also still owe me dinner," Bethany pointed out, giving him a gentle push as they neared her car. "Dinner before you have any sort of ideas!"

     "Oh, fine then," Ville huffed good naturedly, opening the passenger side door and getting in the car. He tossed his bag in the back seat as Bethany got behind the wheel. She giggled as he immediately adjusted the seat to give himself some leg room.

     "Sorry," she said, turning the key in the ignition and cranking up the heat. "Pretty much the only person who rides with me is Vera, and she's basically a hobbit."

     "And you're what, maybe five-foot two?" Ville teased, buckling his seat belt.

     "Five-foot three, thank you," Bethany corrected, carefully pulling out of the parking space and joining the line of traffic leaving the parking garage. "I'm what you might call 'fun sized'."

     "That's certainly what I'd call you," Ville grinned, "among other things."

     "Din-ner," Bethany said sternly, pointing a finger in his face. She quickly pulled it back when Ville moved to grab it in his teeth.

     "You really need to stop leaving yourself wide open for it then," he chuckled, settling for taking her hand in his instead. "I will stop, if it's bothering you," he said then, his expression softening.

     "It's not bothering me," Bethany laughed, slightly breathless under his gentle gaze. "I know you're just joking around."

     "I am," he confirmed, taking off his sunglasses. "I don't want you to think I'm some sort of drooling lecher."

     "I give as good as I get," Bethany shrugged, glancing sideways at him. Ville inhaled sharply, about to get in another zinger, but then he raised his free hand in surrender.

     "I'll let that one go," he said lightly, lacing his fingers with hers. Bethany giggled and shook her head.

     "You fool, that was a freebie!"

***

     A short time later, Bethany and Ville were in line at Bethany's favorite coffee house, a little place near the local community college called The Hatter. Naturally, the shop had an Alice in Wonderland theme, colorful murals decorating the walls with white rabbit decorations scattered throughout small space. It was quite busy at this time of day, the staff busy serving waves of sleep-deprived students and locals stopping in for their pre-work caffeine fix.

     "I basically lived here when I was doing my prerequisites for mortuary school," Bethany explained, pointing at a squashy green armchair in the corner by the front windows. "That was my usual perch. The manager said she was thinking about putting up a plaque with my name on it on the wall above the chair."

     "That's adorable," Ville said fondly, glancing around the rest of the coffee shop. "The cute little aspiring mortician, holding court on her throne in Wonderland."

     "I made quite the store mascot," Bethany snorted, taking Ville's hand once more as they made their way to the counter.

     "Beth!" the barista, Monica, cried happily. "Hey you, it's been a while!"

     "Hi, Monica," Bethany smiled. "Sorry I haven't been around much since finishing up my courses. I've been working a lot."

     "Aww, no worries!" Monica said brightly, tossing her long black braid over her shoulder. "It's nice to see you. Who's your friend?"

     "Ah, this is Ville," Bethany said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "He's a new friend of mine. Ville, this is Monica, the best coffee slinger in the county."

     "Nice to meet you," Ville said warmly, giving Monica a little wave. Bethany didn't miss the way Monica's eyes widened at the deep, rich tone of Ville's voice.

     "Nice to meet you, too," Monica said a little too eagerly, earning her a coy smile from Ville. She took their orders, a pumpkin spice latte for Bethany and a black coffee for Ville, plus a couple of blueberry scones at Bethany's insistence. After paying for their breakfast, Ville offered to go save Bethany's old spot for them while Monica prepared the order, giving Bethany's shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving her to chat with the barista.

     "Alright, get it out of your system," Bethany said lowly, leaning against the counter as she eyed Monica knowingly. Monica furtively caught her eye and grinned.

     "What. A. Babe," she whispered, glancing across the room to where Ville had claimed the green armchair. He sat with his legs tucked up beneath him, checking his phone idly, not paying them any mind. "And that voice, that accent. Holy hell, girly. Where did you find him?"

     "We met at a concert," Bethany said vaguely, admittedly relieved that Monica didn't seem to know who Ville was. "We got to talking and just... clicked, I guess. He wanted to take me out for coffee somewhere that wasn't a crap chain, so here we are."

     "Well, next time you go to a concert, take me with you," Monica sighed, placing the finished coffees and two pastries on a tray and sliding it toward Bethany. "I want one of those for myself."

     "I'll see what I can do," Bethany laughed, giving Monica a wink as she put a couple of fives in the tip jar. She took the tray and made her way over to Ville, placing it on the coffee table in front of him. He looked up at the noise, smiling and hopping out of the chair, giving Bethany a grand bow.

     "Your throne, my lady," he said gallantly. Bethany smirked and dropped into a graceful curtsy before taking the now vacated chair as Ville moved to the purple one just next to it. She handed him his coffee and took a careful sip of her own, testing the temperature.

     "Perfect," she said dreamily, leaning back comfortably in her chair. "This was a good plan, it's been too long since I've been here."

     "Is it out of the way for you, from your place?" Ville asked, blowing gently into his cup to cool the coffee down.

     "A bit," Bethany said with a nod. "I was able to walk here from campus when I had classes all the time and was in the area anyway. Now it's kind of impractical to drive here for coffee when I'm just going to work or whatever. Gotta settle for Dunkin' these days."

     "No great loss for you," Ville said, wrinkling his nose, "since you obliterate your coffee with pumpkin spice and sugar wherever you go."

     "I get it, you hate fun," Bethany said, rolling her eyes. "This is a top tier pumpkin spice though, you should try it."

     "It would probably send me into an instant diabetic coma," Ville snorted, finally braving a sip of his own steaming black coffee. He winced slightly as it was still a bit too hot. "This suits me just fine. Although since I just burned half my taste buds off, I doubt I'd be able to taste yours anyway."

     "That's what you get for being impatient," Bethany tutted, reaching out to break a piece off of her scone.

     "There's no place for patience where caffeine is involved," Ville said matter-of-factly. He watched Bethany pop the bit of sweet bread into her mouth, smiling when she closed her eyes and did a small happy dance.

     "Hope you at least have enough taste buds left to enjoy this, because it's actually a mouth-gasm," Bethany said, pulling off another piece. She held it out to him and had to bite back a gasp when he leaned forward and ate it from her fingers. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then nodded in approval.

     "That is pretty damn good," he said, his tongue darting out to catch the powdered sugar that lingered on his lips. "You have to try my mom's scones sometime though. Any of her food, really. She's a great cook."

     "I'd like that," Bethany said softly, resting her chin in her hand. "How are your parents doing?"

     "They're good," Ville smiled. "I visited them for a couple days before flying to the states. All's well at home... I'll admit I was a little leery about touring again, leaving them behind. They're getting older and, well..." He trailed off, eyes drifting to gaze out the window. "I worry. That's all."

     "That's understandable," Bethany said gently. "It's nice that you have such a good relationship with them. I'm sure they're hella proud of you."

     "Too proud, maybe," Ville said shyly. "What about your family? You don't talk about them much."

     "Yeah," Bethany sighed, making a face. "My parents are... complicated. Or at least my relationship with them is."

     "How come?" Ville asked, picking out a blueberry from his scone and putting it in his mouth. Bethany tried not to become distracted, though she would prefer shamelessly watching him eat over discussing her dysfunctional family any day.

     "They divorced when I was like eight," she shrugged, looking down at her cup. "My mom's always had some issues. Mental health issues. I'd wager it's bipolar or borderline personality disorder or something, but she's always refused to go see a doctor about it. She comes from an old school Appalachian family that doesn't believe in therapy or medication or whatever. They think mental illness is just something weak people make up for attention and that the only way to deal with that shit is to toughen up. Unfortunately their version of 'toughening up' tends to involve alcohol, and lots of it."

     "Ah, yes," Ville said, glancing at her over the rim of his coffee cup. "I'm familiar with that particular self-medication method."

     "Yeah... Sorry," Bethany winced. Ville waved it off easily and motioned for her to go on. "Anyway, mom drank a lot when I was little, and my dad had zero tolerance for her shit. Which was fair, obviously. They split up and I lived with my dad full time. Mom got me some weekends, when she wasn't a total wreck. Our relationship has always been pretty strained. Dad and I get along for the most part, but he kept me on a pretty short leash in my teen years. I guess he didn't want to see me go down a shitty path and end up like mom."

     "Seems like you've avoided the generational curse pretty nicely," Ville said kindly. "You've been through some shit and you still seem mostly sane."

     "Emphasis on 'mostly'," Bethany said wryly. "Probably helps that I actually go to therapy and give doctors' orders a shot before dismissing it all straight off."

     "That is helpful," Ville agreed. "I can't say much though. I've never seen a therapist more than a handful of times before I get frustrated with the whole thing and lock myself in a dark room with a guitar for a couple weeks. That usually sorts it out."

     "Whatever works," Bethany said with a nonjudgmental shrug. "Therapy isn't for everybody. Sometimes talking isn't the answer. We've all got our own outlets we turn to. The trick is making sure it's not an outlet that's likely to ruin your life."

     "Cheers to that," Ville said grimly, raising his cup to her. Bethany tapped hers against it and they both took a drink.

     "Mom's been doing better recently," Bethany continued after a time. "She's been trying to patch things up with me, especially since Mason died. I told you she bought me your album to try to cheer me up. We talk on the phone a few times a week. She lives on the other side of the state now, near Scranton. It's been a little on the rocky side, trying to have a relationship with her, but I do appreciate that she's making an effort. Dad and I are pretty close, but he's still got an overprotective streak a mile wide. I don't share as much of what's going on in my life with him as I could, mostly because I'm not interested in being lectured at thirty-two years old."

     "Hate to break it to you, but you're still going to get lectured ten years from now," Ville grinned. "Just yesterday my mother called me in an absolute state over how skinny I looked in a video someone took at a gig. 'Ville, nicotine is not a food group, if you don't eat an actual meal from time to time you're going to waste away to nothing and I'll have to make a scene in front of God and everybody '. Half an hour, she went on!"

     "To be fair, you do look like a good gust of wind might carry you away," Bethany said, pushing Ville's scone a little closer to him. "Might want to scarf the rest of that, just in case."

     "But what about my girlish figure?!" Ville gasped in mock horror, giving her a wink as he took an unnecessarily large bite of his breakfast.  Bethany rolled here eyes and finished her own scone, washing it down with the last of her coffee.

     "So, where to after this?" she asked, watching as Ville did, in fact, wolf down the rest of his food.

     "I'm gonna be honest," Ville said, stretching his arms above his head, "I didn't get much sleep last night, so I'm exhausted. I give myself about an hour before that coffee wears off and I crash. Think we could go to your place and take a nap?"

     "I would love nothing more," Bethany said gratefully, as she hadn't been able to fall asleep easily the previous night either. Ville stood then, picking up the tray from the table and disposing of the empty cups and wrappers before offering Bethany his hand. She took it and they both gave Monica a wave goodbye before stepping back out into the chilly morning air.

Chapter Text

     Bethany unlocked the door to her apartment and motioned for Ville to go inside. She followed after him, kicking off her shoes and hanging her purse on its hook by the door. Ville toed his shoes off as well and sat his backpack on the floor next to them, looking around the small living area curiously.

     "Cute place," he said, making a beeline for the bookshelf next to the TV.

     "Thanks," Bethany said, watching him nervously. "Now what, are you going to judge me based upon my reading habits?"

     "It's a good way to get to know someone," Ville said, grinning at her over his shoulder. "I'm seeing a surprising amount of young adult romance over here..."

     "I will not apologize for my love of cheesy bullshit," Bethany sniffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Sarah Dessen is my comfort author and I will defend her with my last breath."

     "Can't say I've ever had the pleasure of reading her books," Ville said, picking one up off the shelf and scanning the back cover.

     "It's not as sophisticated as what you probably prefer to read," Bethany said, blushing slightly. "But it makes me happy, so..."

     "You think I don't read cheesy bullshit?" Ville asked, glancing up at her. "Reading classics is good and all, but sometimes you just need something fun. Which one is your favorite?"

     "Uh, that one, actually," Bethany laughed, gesturing to the well-worn paperback in his hand. "The Truth About Forever. It was one of the first of her books I ever read. It's got a special place in my heart."

     "Mind if I borrow it?"

     "What, you're serious?" Bethany asked, blinking dumbly.

     "Totally," Ville said with a nod. "And when you come visit me at my place, you can pick a favorite book of mine to borrow. Then we'll both know each other a little better."

     "You're fucking precious, you know that?" Bethany laughed softly, stepping closer to him as if drawn magnetically. He flashed her a charming smile and slipped his arms around her waist, one hand still holding the book.

     "I try," he said quietly, resting his forehead against hers. This close, Bethany could see little flecks of gold sparkling in his jade green eyes, and she felt like she couldn't breathe.

     "I'd really like to kiss you," she whispered before she could think better of it. Ville huffed out a laugh and nodded in agreement before tilting his head and softly pressing his lips against hers. Bethany felt like the floor had dropped out from beneath her and instinctively reached up to grab the front of Ville's jacket, willing her knees to stop shaking. His lips were impossibly warm, and the hand that moved up to cup her cheek was gentle despite the rough callouses on his fingers. They pulled apart slowly, both turning slightly pink.

     "Everything you hoped it would be?" Ville asked dryly, giving her a coy smirk. Bethany rolled her eyes and stood on her tip toes to kiss him again, a shorter peck this time.

     "Even better," she said, reaching a tentative hand up to rest on his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned sleepily into her touch. At this distance, Bethany could see that he looked exhausted, the dark shadows under his eyes resembling faded bruises. She gave his jacket a tug, pulling him in the direction of the couch. He followed without protest, putting Bethany's old book on the coffee table and unzipping the jacket before throwing it onto the armchair at the other end of the room. They both dropped onto the couch, Ville stretching and grunting as several vertebrae in his back popped in a way that sounded both painful and satisfying.

     "Don't get old," he advised, turning his head to smile at her ruefully. "I don't recommend it."

     "Shut. Up," Bethany said, narrowing her eyes at him. He grinned and shifted to lie down, pulling her down next to him with her back pressed against his chest.

     "I only do it to wind you up," he yawned, pressing his face into her neck. "You're too easy."

     "You make jokes because it bothers you," Bethany pointed out, lacing her fingers with his and holding their clasped hands to her chest.

     "Don't psychoanalyze me when I can't even keep my eyes open," he mumbled. "I like to at least be able to stubbornly argue with some coherence."

     "Mmhmm," Bethany hummed, her own eyelids growing heavy. She brought his knuckles to her lips gently, smiling when he hugged her closer to him. She reached down with her free hand and grabbed a throw blanket from the floor, tossing it over them both haphazardly. "Naptime, then."

     There was no response, just Ville's even breathing tickling the back of her neck announcing he was already out cold. Bethany giggled softly and closed her eyes, following him easily into sleep.

***

     Some hours later, a violent crack of thunder woke the sleeping pair with a start. Ville groggily grumbled something in Finnish, which Bethany assumed was a curse.

     "That sounded impolite," she laughed breathlessly, turning over to look at him.

     "It was," he confirmed, rubbing at his eyes. "Not as impolite as that wake up. Jesus Christ, is the world ending out there?"

     Bethany sat up slightly to peer out the glass door that led to the balcony. The sky was ominously dark and rain was pouring down in sheets. Lightning streaked viciously across the sky, followed almost instantly by another peal of thunder.

     "Sure looks like it," she said, resting back against Ville's arm, which had been serving as her pillow. "I can think of worse places to be during the apocalypse, though. I'll accept my fate."

     "Mmm," Ville said, the sound rumbling in his chest against Bethany's arm. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple, pulling her closer and dragging her right leg up to drape over his hip. Bethany giggled and nuzzled into the crook of his neck as he spoke again. "Looks like going out for dinner is out of the question."

     "Scared of getting a little wet?" Bethany teased.

     "Of course I am, I'll melt," Ville said, trailing his fingers up and down her spine in a way that made Bethany shiver.

     "Are you the Wicked Witch of the West?" she laughed, pinching his side.

     "No, a snowman, duh," he murmured into her hair.

     "You're awfully warm for a snowman," Bethany whispered, taking a chance and letting her hand slip beneath his shirt to rest on his stomach.

     "And your fingers are fucking freezing!" Ville hissed, though he made no move to stop her.  Bethany laughed mischievously and let her hand drift higher, coming to rest over Ville's heart. It was beating quite fast, and she smiled to herself against his shoulder.

     "We could order in for dinner," she suggested, nudging his jaw with her nose.

     "What a terrible thing to do to the delivery person," Ville chuckled.

     "I'll tip super well," Bethany promised, lightly scratching her nails against Ville's collarbone. She took private pleasure in the way his breath caught and his hand stilled on her back. It made her feel strangely powerful.

     "If I didn't know any better," Ville said slowly, now toying with the hem of Bethany's shirt, "I'd think you were so hellbent on dinner happening so you would feel like you had permission to get me into bed."

     "I'm not the one who needs permission," Bethany said softly, shivering as Ville's fingertips slid beneath her shirt, his cold rings contrasting against his hot skin moving over hers. "That was a condition I set for you, if you'll recall."

     "And yet here you are, testing my restraint," Ville said, his voice low. He raised a challenging eyebrow at her, his eyes flashing in a way that made Bethany's stomach twist into knots. "You're not playing very fair."

     "I can't help it," she whispered, trapped by his gaze and unable to look away. "You have a certain effect. I'm sure you're aware." Ville snorted and shook his head.

     "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said blithely. Then his face turned serious, his brows knitting together. "I don't want to fuck this up, Bethany. I don't want to make things weird with us. I hope you know that."

     "Am I making you uncomfortable?" Bethany asked, suddenly embarrassed. She moved to pull her hand from his shirt, but Ville caught her by the elbow and stilled her.

     "Not at all," he assured her, ghosting his lips over her forehead, "but I don't want you to feel pressured by me. I don't expect anything from you that you don't also want. I'm here for you as much as I'm here for me. And as much game as I talk... I don't want you to be disappointed. That's all."

     "I don't think it's possible for you to disappoint me," Bethany said with a soft laugh of disbelief.

     "That's a dangerous mindset to have," Ville warned, reaching up to pull his hat off his head and tousling his already disheveled hair. "I'm really nothing special, and I have a penchant for screwing things up spectacularly. You should probably lower your expectations just a smidge."

     "Would you stop that?" Bethany sighed, moving suddenly to straddle his hips and pinning his shoulders to the couch. He looked up at her, blinking in surprise.

     "Stop what?"

     "Being so down on yourself!" Bethany exclaimed, feeling frustrated. "I like you, you idiot. I like you, not whatever I'm 'supposed' to be expecting you to be. I'm not a teenager with your dolled up pictures on my wall anymore. I know the difference between that person and the one in front of me, and I prefer this person. I prefer the real you. If I didn't, we wouldn't be here right now. Got it?" Ville watched her carefully for a long moment, seeming to search her face for something Bethany couldn't name. Finally he seemed to find it, and he let out a breath.

     "Got it," he said with a nod, his hands coming up to rest lightly on top of her thighs. "I... Ah, hell. I'm sorry. I guess I don't really know how to handle this whole thing."

     "What thing?" Bethany asked, raising an eyebrow. "Someone liking you?"

     "A fan liking me, the way you do," Ville clarified, chewing his lip. "I don't usually let something like this happen, as I've mentioned. This is why. It gets all tangled up in my head and it feels like more of a mess than it's worth."

     "Is that how you feel right now?" Bethany asked, her shoulders slumping slightly. Ville quickly shook his head.

     "No, Bethany, no," he said, sitting up and kissing her sweetly. "This is definitely not like that. That's why I'm freaking out." He laughed softly and pressed his forehead against hers. "It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."

     "You desperately need to relax," Bethany teased, cupping his face in her hands. "Everything is fine. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not going to tell you to leave, and I'm not going to be disappointed with anything that does or does not happen this weekend. I just wanted to see you and spend time with you. Okay?"

     "Okay," Ville whispered, hugging Bethany tightly. "Thank you."

     "Nothing to thank me for," Bethany said, tracing the tattoos on the back of his neck with her fingers. "Now, what are we having for dinner? I'm starving."

***

     Ultimately they'd settled on ordering Chinese, and they found themselves sitting on the living room floor with a veritable feast spread out over the coffee table. The room was lit dimly by the electric fireplace under the TV and the strings of fairy lights that hung from the walls as they half-watched a crummy horror movie Ville had chosen after half an hour of scrolling through Shudder's offerings.

     "I seriously have no idea what is happening," Bethany said, going back for a second round of appetizers to give herself a break from the frantic chaos on the screen.

     "I think that's the point," Ville said around a mouthful of noodles. "The effects are surprisingly good, though. Look, you can see the muscles moving in that guy's eye socket!"

     "Really helping my appetite," Bethany grimaced, averting her eyes. "Truly an excellent dinner pick, well done." Ville laughed loudly and reached for the remote.

     "Sorry, I forget sometimes that not everyone has my iron stomach," he said, turning off the movie. He clicked around half-heartedly for a few minutes, making an unimpressed noise before closing the app altogether. They ate in comfortable silence for a while, both stealing glances at one another when they thought the other wasn't looking. Finally, Ville emptied his takeout box and sat it on the table with a satisfied sigh.

     "What, that's it?" Bethany laughed. "You ordered enough food to feed an army, you can't tap out now."

     "Where would you suggest I put it?" Ville asked, patting his full stomach. "I always over order Chinese. We'll be hungry again in like two hours, plus we'll have leftovers until we're sick of it. There's a method to my madness."

     "I see," Bethany said, finishing her own plate and flopping onto her back on the floor. "Ugh. I think I overdid it, actually. But it was so fucking good."

     "It was," Ville agreed, pushing the coffee table out of the way so he could lay on his stomach beside Bethany. He propped his head up on his folded arms and looked at her, smiling in a way that could only be described as dopey. Bethany glanced at him sideways and giggled.

     "What is that face for?" she asked, reaching over to poke his cheek.

     "'S just my face," Ville mumbled, eyes sparkling. "If it looks different when I'm looking at you, that's your fault." Bethany smiled and rolled onto her side, admiring the way the flickering light from the faux fireplace glowed behind Ville's unruly hair like a halo. She let her hand drift up to run her fingers through it, gently working through knots when she got caught on them. His hair was thick and soft, still a rich, dark brown, though occasionally she did spot threads of silver sparkling between her fingers. She found that she liked it, liked everything about him that marked him as changed from the pretty boy who had caught her eye on TV all those years ago. Her eyes roamed fondly over the crinkles at the outer corners of his eyes, the slightly rougher texture of his skin. He was beautiful still, but he looked like he'd actually lived, not like he was kept safely in a box all day until showtime. He looked real.

     "Now you're the one making a face," Ville murmured, catching her eye. He smiled, but there was something vulnerable in his expression that made Bethany's chest feel tight.

     "You're beautiful," she said honestly, willing him to believe it. "That's what I was thinking."

     "Still?" he asked softly, his mouth twisting slightly.

     "More than ever," Bethany whispered, gently stroking his cheekbone with her thumb.

     "Even with the wrinkles and fake teeth?" Ville laughed, rolling his eyes.

     "You look like you," Bethany told him, moving closer and kissing the corners of his eyes, the laugh lines at the sides of his mouth, and finally his lips. "And you'll always be beautiful to me."

     "Not as beautiful as you are," Ville demured, taking her hand from his face and rubbing circles into her palm with his thumb. "You're so out of my league."

     "And you're so full of shit," Bethany laughed, tangling her legs with his much longer ones.

     "Will either of us ever learn to take a compliment?" Ville asked, grinning shyly.

     "Unlikely," Bethany conceded, watching as he continued to trace shapes on her hand. He was so gentle, so loving when he touched her. She never wanted him to stop. She wanted more. She didn't have the first clue how to ask him for more.

     "So, what now?" Ville asked, as if reading her mind. She looked back to his face, struck by the tenderness she saw there.

     "What do you want?" she breathed, her eyes moving involuntarily to his full, pink lips.

     "Probably something similar to what you want," he murmured, letting go of her hand and placing his own on her hip. "If my powers of telepathy haven't gotten too rusty, anyway." Bethany laughed softly, biting her lip.

     "We should probably get up off the floor, then," she said, though she made no effort to move.

     "Have somewhere more comfortable in mind?" Ville asked slyly. Bethany laughed again and gave him a gentle push.

     "My bed's not half bad..."

     Ville smiled and pushed himself to his feet, offering his hand to her. She took it gratefully and let him pull her to him, just barely stifling a gasp when he kissed her in earnest. This time was different, his energy almost electric as he crushed her body against his, his tongue moving to gently drag across her lips. She parted them instantly, whining softly as his tongue teased hers, coaxing her to play with him. She tangled her fingers in his hair, the taste of him completely intoxicating. He took a step backward, pulling her with him, before breaking the kiss with a soft nip to her bottom lip.

     "I'm up for whatever you want to do, sweetheart," he said breathlessly, looking down at her with heavy-lidded eyes. "You have all the power here. Just say the word." Bethany nodded, taking his hands and pulling him to the hallway.

     "Please," she whispered, dragging him in for another feverish kiss. "You, I want you. Please."

     They stumbled clumsily to her bedroom, Bethany kicking the door open behind her as they kissed, not wanting to stop for anything. Ville laughed low in his throat, his hands seemingly everywhere on Bethany's body at once. They were wearing entirely too many clothes. Bethany grabbed the bottom of his black T-shirt, pulling it up insistently. They broke apart so Ville could yank it over his head before he tugged hers off as well, pushing her back until her legs met the edge of the bed. She let herself fall backwards, her heart hammering in her chest as he crawled over her, kissing his way down from her lips to her neck. Her eyes fluttered closed and she held the back of his neck in one hand, the other stroking aimlessly up and down his tattooed arm.

     "Okay?" Ville breathed against her throat, still peppering soft, warm kisses everywhere he went.

     "Yes, gods yes," Bethany said weakly, her nerves on fire. "If you stop, I'll kick your ass into next week."

     Ville chuckled, his lips trailing hotly down over Bethany's collarbone to the soft swell of her breasts. His breath ghosted over her black lace bralette as he pressed tender kisses down the center of her chest, the hand that wasn't holding him up moving to cup her through the thin fabric. Bethany moaned softly, her fingers tightening on his left arm. It had been such a long time since anyone had touched her like this, kissed her like this. If she was honest, it had never been exactly like this before at all.  She'd never wanted so desperately in her entire life.

     Ville's warm hand massaged her left breast gently as he tugged the right side of the bralette down with his teeth, his wicked tongue darting out to tease her exposed nipple. Bethany sucked in a breath, her back arching up off the bed as she clutched the back of Ville's neck even tighter. He hummed softly as he closed his lips around her soft flesh, stroking her expertly with his tongue. Bethany felt like her brain was short circuiting, unable to form a coherent thought outside of the warm, insistent pressure of Ville's lips and tongue. His fingers teased her other nipple over the lace that still covered it, using the texture of the fabric to his full advantage. Bethany released his neck from her vice-like grip, fumbling to reach behind her to unhook the bralette's clasp at her back.

     "Off," she gasped, "this has to come off." Ville sat back on his heels and grinned at her as she practically tore the fabric off and launched it across the room. She stared up at him dazedly, properly taking in the sight of him for the first time since they'd come to bed. She thought she'd never seen anyone more attractive in her life. Her gaze drifted from his messy hair and kiss-swollen lips down to his bare, ink-covered chest and stomach. His jeans were slung low on his hips, and she could see the trail of dark hair just below the heartagram tattoo that decorated his pelvis. She forced herself to look back up at his face, finding his eyes taking a similarly mesmerized journey over her own body. He glanced up then, huffing out an embarrassed laugh.

     "Caught me staring," he admitted, moving forward to press his forehead against hers.

     "I can't be mad about it," she whispered, scratching her nails lightly down his chest and smiling when he let out a soft moan. "I was staring, too."

     "You're so fucking perfect," Ville said, kissing her hard. "Everything about you is perfect." His hands glided up her stomach to find her breasts again, squeezing greedily as his lips attacked her neck once more. Bethany whimpered softly, her legs coming up to wrap around Ville's waist, pulling him closer. He rocked his hips forward involuntarily, a strangled groan escaping him as he sank his teeth gently into the side of Bethany's neck. Her nails dug into his back as her eyes rolled back in her head, the slight twinge of pain setting her heart to racing. She could feel him against her, hard and impossibly hot through the fabric of their jeans. She thought she might shatter into a thousand tiny pieces if she had to wait much longer. She needed more of him. Her fingers found their way to his belt buckle, but he gently batted her hands away.

     "Not yet," he whispered in her ear, sliding further down the bed and kissing his way down her stomach. His fingers tickled over her ribs, traveling down to the button of her jeans. He looked up at her questioningly as he popped it open, and she had to laugh again.

     "What did I tell you about stopping?" she admonished, giving his hair a gentle tug. He hummed approvingly at that and his eyes fluttered closed.

     "Just giving you the opportunity to tell me to get lost," he said lightly, nuzzling against her tummy. "Always an option on the table, if you want to take it."

     "Not a chance," Bethany said seriously. Ville smiled up at her and nodded, undoing her zipper and pulling the jeans down her legs. He slowly made his way back up, starting at her ankles, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses over her calves. Bethany could feel the blush that was spreading across her face and chest as she watched him, his eyes closed as he gave his full attention to worshipping her with his lips. He looked completely blissed out, like there was nowhere else on earth he'd rather be, and Bethany almost couldn't handle it. She had to close her eyes as he reached her inner thighs, the sight of his tongue dragging over her skin officially more than she could take. When she felt his fingers at the waistband of her underwear, it was all she could do to keep from falling apart.

     "May I?" Ville asked, gently pulling one side of the garment over her hip bone. Bethany nodded frantically, eyes still closed, not trusting herself to look at him just yet. He removed the clothing almost reverently, his lips returning to her stomach as his hands rubbed soothing circles against her thighs. He gently pushed them further apart, his kisses drifting lower and lower until...

     "Fuuuuck," Bethany groaned, the fingers of one hand winding into Ville's hair once more. His tongue laved with agonizing gentleness across her sensitive skin, hot and wet and positively maddening. He teased her, and she was certain it was intentional, carefully avoiding her clit in favor of showering attention literally everywhere else. Bethany couldn't find it in her to be terribly upset about it, however, when his tongue pressed deliciously inside of her and stroked her as deeply as he could reach. Bethany let her legs fall wider apart, all sense of shyness abandoned  as Ville made love to her with his mouth, moans and words of praise tumbling from her lips like prayers. When he suddenly pulled away, her eyes snapped open and she looked down at him confused, her chest heaving.

     "Easy now, don't kill me," Ville laughed, his lips shining in the soft light from the bedside lamp. "I'm nowhere near done with you yet. But if you want more, you have to promise to watch." He smirked up at her, pressing a kiss to the crease of her inner thigh. Bethany let out a giggle that sounded much more strained than she expected.

     "You love an audience," she quipped, forcing herself not to look away from his eyes, which looked much darker than usual.

     "Just you, right now," he said, his fingers sliding obscenely through the wetness between her legs. His gaze didn't leave her face, even as she gasped brokenly, fighting to keep her eyes from slipping closed again. "This is a private performance."

     "You might actually be a demon," Bethany whispered, raking a trembling hand through her short hair. Ville laughed, low and dangerous. Every inch of Bethany's skin broke out in goosebumps.

     "Gonna sell your soul to me?" he asked, the pad of his index finger stroking over her clit with the lightest pressure possible. Bethany positively keened this time, her toes curling into the mattress. She didn't look away though, determinedly meeting his sparkling green eyes with hers.

     "Pretty sure I already have," she said, managing a smirk of her own.

     "Not yet, you haven't," Ville grinned, his finger moving lower and slowly slipping inside of her, and for a moment Bethany forgot how to breathe. Ville closed his own eyes once more, his tongue finally, mercifully pressing against her where she wanted it most.

     "Ville, fuck," Bethany whined, scratching her nails against his scalp. He hummed happily against her, eyelashes fluttering prettily against his pale skin. Bethany felt like there was fire in her blood as he flicked the tip of his tongue over her clit in the most perfect rhythm, and though she knew she could close her eyes and he'd have no idea, she couldn't look away. It was the filthiest thing she'd ever seen, his head between her thighs with his mouth working intently at her pussy, and she wasn't sure any other image would ever measure up.

     He pushed a second finger into her and curled them both gently, massaging exquisitely against a sensitive spot inside her, and Bethany swore she saw stars. A coil of heat was tightening low in her belly, and she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. As if hearing her thoughts, Ville's free hand came to rest just below her belly button, his fingertips pressing down and mimicking the motions of his other hand. This felt different, and unbelievably good, and Bethany couldn't catch her breath in between desperate, wordless moans. Just as it was becoming almost too intense, Ville's tongue slid against her in just the right way, and Bethany's vision went white. Her entire body tensed and shuddered, and she thought she might have screamed his name, but she couldn't be certain. She tingled everywhere, from her head to her toes, and it seemed to go on endlessly. Ville never stopped his ministrations through it all, prolonging the waves until his touch was too much for Bethany's oversensitive nerves and she practically had to push him away. He laughed quietly, slightly out of breath, and finally relented, crawling up over her to kiss her deeply.

     Bethany cupped his face with shaking hands, groaning as she tasted herself on his tongue. She could feel wetness on his cheeks, and all down his jaw and throat. She pulled back from him and allowed her eyes to follow the same path, cheeks flushing scarlet as she saw that his skin was glistening all the way to his chest.

     "Did I seriously...?" she looked at him, wide-eyed. He grinned devilishly and kissed the tip of her nose.

     "Sell your soul to me?" he teased. "Yes, that particular transaction usually leads to needing to find a clean set of sheets. Hazards of doing business with me, I'm afraid."

     "You're unbelievable," Bethany squeaked, hiding her face in her hands.

     "No, no, no," Ville cooed, pulling her hands away and kissing her tenderly. "No being embarrassed. It was incredibly hot..." He kissed just beneath her ear, his breath warm against her skin. "Did you enjoy it?"

     "Very much," Bethany admitted, tilting her head back to give him better access as he nipped at her throat.

     "Then don't be embarrassed," he whispered. "I want to make you feel good, Beth." Bethany shivered at his use of her shortened name, something about the sound sparking heat in her belly once again. She grabbed his chin and tilted his face up to kiss him fiercely, her other hand moving swiftly to his belt and undoing it with ease.

     "Your turn," she said against his lips, unbuttoning his jeans, frankly unsurprised to discover he was wearing nothing underneath them. She dragged her nails over the coarse hair that was revealed, making Ville groan and push her back onto the pillows. He quickly peeled the tight pants off and tossed them aside before hovering over her again, resting his forehead against hers.

     "Probably should have had this conversation before now," he chuckled, rolling his eyes, "but uh, condoms?"

     "I'm on birth control," Bethany said with a shrug.

     "You trust me then, other than that?" Ville asked seriously. "I'm all good, healthwise, but I won't be offended if you don't take my word for it."

     "I do," she said with a nod. "I'm good too, if you trust me."

     "I do," he whispered, threading his fingers in her hair and kissing her again, catching her lower lip between his teeth. Bethany pulled him closer, hooking her legs around his hips. She felt his cock brush against her still tingling clit and bit back a moan. Ville angled himself against her entrance and bumped her nose with his, coaxing her to look at him. She did, locking her eyes on his as he sank into her, his movements torturously slow. His mouth dropped open slightly, a low, satisfied moan rising from deep in his chest. Bethany made a similar sound, reveling in the delicious stretch as her body took him in. He was considerably bigger than anyone she'd been with before, and there was the barest hint of pain as he bottomed out, but it was quickly swept away by the pure pleasure of fullness.

     "Are you alright?" Ville whispered, bringing a hand up to lovingly cup her cheek. Bethany covered his hand with hers and nodded, turning her head to kiss the inside of his wrist.

     "Perfect," she breathed, looking at him adoringly. "Please, Ville. Move." He shivered in response and began rocking his hips against hers in a slow, easy rhythm. He didn't want to rush this, she could tell. His eyes fell shut and he dropped his head to her shoulder, soft moans slipping from his lips with each thrust. Bethany held him close, giving herself over to him as he sought his pleasure, letting the feeling of him moving within her consume her entirely. It had truly never been like this before, with anyone, she realized distantly. It had never felt this natural, this comfortable, this easy. They belonged here, wrapped around each other, as close as it was possible to be. Bethany felt warm all over and impossibly giddy. She lifted his face from where he was kissing her neck and pressed her lips tenderly to his, and she could feel him smiling.

     "You feel so good, Beth," he breathed, quickening his pace. "So good, sweetheart..." He gasped softly as Bethany squeezed her muscles tightly around him, his movements becoming more erratic in response, even as he tried to hold himself back.

     "Let go," Bethany murmured, kissing along his jaw and down to his throat. "You're not going to hurt me, just let go." Ville laughed quietly, the sound hungry and more than a little erotic, and did as she asked. He kissed her hard and drove into her even harder, making Bethany's head fall back to the pillows. She gripped his shoulders tightly, digging her heels into the small of his back to spur him on, totally lost in his orbit. There was nothing else in her world in that moment, nothing but this and him.

     "F-fuck," Ville stuttered brokenly, breathing heavily against her neck. "I can't, I can't last much longer, darling, I'm sorry-"

     "Shut up," Bethany laughed shakily, taking a handful of his hair and pulling him up to look her in the eye again. "Come for me." She watched him fall apart, a beautiful, primal sound tearing from his throat as he thrust into her desperately twice more before his entire body went rigid, his eyes going unfocused as his arms gave out. His hips rocked lazily against hers as he rode out his orgasm, pressing endless kisses to her collarbone and whispering softly in his native tongue. Bethany lovingly stroked his slightly sweaty hair with one hand, the other drawing lazy patterns up and down his spine as his breathing gradually returned to normal. They lay there in silence for a long time, basking in bone-deep contentedness.

     "That was incredible," Ville mumbled against her skin, still making no attempt to move. Bethany laughed softly and kissed the top of his head.

     "Absolutely," she agreed. "I have to admit I'm starting to feel a bit sticky, though. Wanna go get a shower?"

     "That requires moving," Ville whined, looking up at her and pouting.

     "No puppy eyes," Bethany grinned, poking his bottom lip. "Come on, we'll get cleaned up and then we can go to sleep."

     "After I change your sheets like the gentleman I am," Ville said, tickling Bethany's side as he finally untangled himself from her and stood up. Bethany whimpered and hid her face in her hands.

     "Yeah, after that," she sighed.

     "I thought I said not to be embarrassed," Ville admonished, grabbing her wrists and pulling her up out of the bed. Bethany's legs were still a bit wobbly and he held her close, having the decency to look only slightly pleased with himself.

     "I know," Bethany grumbled, stubbornly pressing her face into his chest. "I'll work on it, how's that?" Ville simply ruffled her hair in response before taking her hand and leading her into the bathroom. While he set about starting the shower, Bethany gathered a couple of towels from the small cabinet in the corner and put them on the countertop. She jumped when she felt Ville hug her from behind and raised her eyes to the mirror, catching his gaze.

     "We're quite a picture, aren't we?" he asked, his voice almost a purr in her ear. Bethany's face flushed instantly as she looked at their reflection properly. To call what the two of them had going on "sex hair" would be an understatement, and both of their lips were a deep red. She could see scratch marks she'd left on Ville's shoulders, and she was sure his back looked a similarly beautiful mess. There was something about the way the dark tattoo on his left arm looked where it was wrapped around her just beneath her bare breasts that made her mouth go dry, and she knew he could feel her heart beating like hummingbird wings.

     "Impressed with yourself?" she teased, looking back at his eyes once more. He smirked and pressed an open mouthed kiss to her neck just over her fluttering pulse.

     "More impressed with you," he murmured, bringing his hands up to massage her breasts. Bethany's eyes fell shut and she had to grip the edge of the countertop to keep her balance. "You're so beautiful, Beth. I'd love to see you like this all the time. I'd love to make you feel like this all the time."

     "I'd let you," Bethany whispered, her head tipping back to rest on his shoulder. Ville chuckled, the vibration travelling from his chest straight to Bethany's spine.

     "Would you?" he asked, tugging gently at her ear with his teeth. "Would you let me steal you away and keep you in bed forever? Let me kiss you, and lick you, and fuck you, make you come again and again, until the only thing you can say is my name?"

     "Fucking hell, Ville," Bethany gasped, her body tense as a bowstring once again from little more than his words. He had her so distracted that she hadn't noticed one of his hands moving lower, over her stomach and between her legs, until the rough pad of his middle fingertip slid over her clit once, just once, and she was suddenly coming apart for the second time that night. Her mouth dropped open but she couldn't make a sound, and her knees finally gave up the ghost entirely. Ville held her tightly, supporting her safely against his chest as her hands came up to grip his arms.

     "I've got you," he whispered, kissing her cheek softly. He turned her around and cradled her against his chest, and Bethany clung to him weakly, still struggling to form a coherent thought. Her ears were ringing and every inch of her body buzzed with pins and needles, but she was completely aware of him, of his warm skin and the soothing tone of his voice. She pressed her face against his neck and breathed in his scent, like snow and sunshine and woods, and slowly began to come back to herself.

     "Ville," she breathed, managing a trembling laugh. "Ville, what the hell?"

     "Are you alright?" Ville asked gently, tipping her chin up to look into her eyes.

     "Yes," Bethany said, though she felt slightly delerious. "How the hell did you do that?"

     "Do what?" he asked, doing a poor job of hiding a smile.

     "You are some kind of sex demon," Bethany said, letting her forehead fall against his chest. "That's the only explanation." Ville snorted and kissed the top of her head.

     "Either that, or you're just really into me," he said, giving her a gentle pat on the butt. "You're doing wonders for my ego, so thank you kindly."

     "Dumb," Bethany said, lightly pinching his nipple. He laughed and turned slightly to stick a hand into the shower, checking to see if they'd wasted all of the hot water.

     "Hmm, we might have enough time to get rinsed off before this goes totally cold," he said, pulling the curtain back and stepping inside. Bethany rolled her eyes and joined him, reaching past him to turn the knob all the way to hot. The water wasn't scorching like she preferred it, but it would do. She reached for her shower pouf, only for Ville to beat her to it. He poured a healthy amount of her body wash onto it and began to wash her shoulders and arms, his touch gentle and attentive. Bethany giggled shyly and shook her head.

     "I am capable of washing myself, you know," she said, feigning petulance. He looked up, eyebrows raised.

     "And what if I want to take care of you?" he asked. Bethany blinked, unsure how to respond to that. Ville kissed her lovingly, still smoothing the soap over her skin.

     "Please, let me," he whispered against her lips. There was no way Bethany could refuse him. She nodded and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his hands on her body. He made fairly quick work of it, racing against the steadily cooling water, even managing to wash her hair before the temperature became too uncomfortable. He shooed her out to dry off and get warm while he got cleaned up himself, assuring her that a cold shower would probably do him some good. Bethany shot him a look, but did as she was asked. She quickly dried her hair and wrapped the towel around herself, deciding to brush her teeth while he finished up. When he stepped out a few moments later, she handed him a towel, but not before giving him a lascivious once over.

     "Oh, please," he scoffed, drying himself off. "Not so impressive now I've had an ice bath, I assure you."

     "I don't know, I still appreciate the view," Bethany grinned, kissing his cold cheek. He shook his head and secured the towel around his waist before pulling her into a tight hug.

     "Sorry I got a little carried away," he said, sounding embarrassed.

     "I have no idea what you're talking about," Bethany said, rubbing his back. "I had fun."

     "You sure?" Ville asked, looking down at her. "I uh... came on a little strong, there."

     "A nice surprise," Bethany smiled. She stood on her tip toes and kissed him sweetly. "Don't stress yourself out, I liked it very much."

     "Alright," he said softly, giving her a gentle push toward the door. "Wanna direct me to where you keep your extra sheets?"

     "In my closet," she snorted, walking back into the bedroom. She pointed at the aforementioned closet before opening her dresser, pulling out a pair of red buffalo plaid pajama pants and a navy blue tank top. Ville gathered fresh sheets and blankets while she got dressed, then put them on Bethany's desk chair.

     "Let me go put on pants and then I'll take care of this," he said, giving her shoulder a squeeze before disappearing out into the hallway. He came back a few moments later in gray sweatpants that Bethany approved of immensely, carrying his towel. Bethany took it from him and took it to the bathroom to hang it up with her own to dry, then went back out to the living room to start putting their leftover dinner away. She was struck by the casual domesticity of it all as she stacked the take out containers in the fridge. It was like she and Ville had been doing this for years, like this was a regular occurrence. It was the oddest feeling, but she couldn't deny she liked it. She could get used to it, she thought.

     "So, your old sheets and stuff are in an untidy pile in the corner of your bedroom," Ville said, padding into the kitchen as Bethany was stacking plates in the sink. "I didn't think they'd fit in your hamper."

     "They wouldn't," she laughed, turning to look at him. A damp curl of his hair hung charmingly over his forehead, and she gently smoothed it back. He hummed contendedly and closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. "Thank you, Ville. For everything."

     "No, thank you," he said, taking her hand and kissing the inside of her wrist. "I missed this. I've been alone for a long time. It's nice to have someone to spoil rotten again."

     "Happy to be of service," Bethany grinned. "Feel free to spoil me anytime." She turned back to the sink to start doing the dishes, but Ville pulled her away.

     "No, no," he said, tugging her in the direction of the hallway. "Those can wait. You go get in bed, I'm going to brush my teeth and then I'm coming to cuddle the hell out of you."

     "How could I say no to that?" Bethany giggled, allowing herself to be steered back to bed. She crawled under the covers, her purple sheets and blankets now replaced with black ones, and settled blissfully onto her pillows. Sleepiness was gaining on her with remarkable speed. Just as her eyelids began to grow heavy, Ville got into bed beside her and gave her a gentle, minty kiss.

     "Hi," he said quietly, stroking her cheek with his thumb. She smiled tiredly up at him.

     "Hi."

     "Ready for the best sleep of your life?" he grinned.

     "You have no idea," Bethany whispered, pulling him to lie down properly beside her. He pulled her close, letting her head rest on his chest as her leg came up to drape over his hips. The last thing Bethany remembered before drifting off was the feeling of his fingers carding tenderly through her hair, and his voice humming something lovingly in Finnish.

Chapter Text

     Bethany woke slowly, perfectly warm and comfortable in a cocoon of blankets. The smell of coffee had roused her from dreamland, but as tempting as it was she couldn't bring herself to move. She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept so well or felt so relaxed. Thoughts of the previous day's events floated into her mind and she smiled softly, burrowing deeper into her comforter. She still wasn't completely sure it hadn't been a dream, even as she heard Ville puttering around in the kitchen, singing to himself.

     With a gargantuan effort, Bethany untangled herself from her blankets and got out of bed. She grabbed an oversized gray cardigan from the back of her desk chair and quickly pulled it on, the air in the apartment feeling quite chilly. She padded quietly into the hallway, poking her head into the kitchen. Ville was standing at the sink, his back to her as he washed dishes from their dinner. He was still only wearing that pair of loose sweatpants, giving her a lovely view of his pale torso. The tattoo of Poe's eyes across his shoulders looked eerily back at her, highlighted by a ray of morning sunshine streaming in through the window.

     "Aren't you cold?" she asked, leaning lazily against the doorway. Ville didn't even jump, turning his head to give her an amused look.

     "Is that a serious question?" he laughed. "I would have turned the heat up a bit for you but I have an irrational fear of fucking with other people's thermostats."

     "You're assuming the heat in this place works worth a damn," Bethany said, shuffling over to him and hugging him from behind as he returned to the dishes. "You didn't have to do those, I'd have gotten to them eventually."

     "I don't mind," Ville said mildly, pulling the plug out of the sink as he rinsed the last few pieces of silverware. "I also made coffee, if you want some."

     "I do," Bethany mumbled against his shoulder. "Thank you. You're an angel."

     "Quite a turnaround from your opinion last night," Ville quipped, earning him a pinch on the ass as Bethany stepped over to the coffee pot, her cheeks flushing. He laughed, leaning against the counter and watching her focus on filling a mug, pointedly not looking in his direction.

     "No, no, that opinion still stands," Bethany told him, grabbing some half-and-half from the fridge and pouring it into her coffee. She fished a few sugar cubes out of the jar by the microwave and dropped them in next, stirring them in with a spoon. "You're full of contradictions, it would seem."

     "Built entirely of them, in fact," Ville said cheerfully, crossing the small kitchen in one long stride to stand in front of her. Bethany finally looked up at him as she drank deeply from her mug, her heart fluttering at the expression on Ville's face. He looked utterly content, an easy smile playing across his lips as he gazed down at her, head slightly tilted. He put his hands on her hips and leaned down to kiss her forehead tenderly.

     "I enjoyed last night very much," he said quietly, nuzzling his nose against her hair. "It's been... a really long time."

     "Same," Bethany laughed softly, resting her head on his chest.

     "So, we're good?" Ville asked carefully, his fingers tickling lightly up her sides beneath her cardigan. "It wasn't too much?"

     "I think it was exactly what we both needed," Bethany assured him, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. "We're good. Promise."

     "Good," Ville said, giving Bethany's hip a gentle squeeze. He reached up and opened the cabinet behind her, grabbing a mug and filling it with coffee for himself. He nodded in the direction of the living room, and they both went to sit on the couch. Ville draped a blanket over their legs and put one arm around Bethany, pulling her against his side. They enjoyed their coffee quietly for a while, the only sound that of muffled birdsong outside.

     "Nice of the rain to clear off for Halloween," Bethany said, looking out the balcony door.

     "Oh, yeah, Happy Halloween," Ville chuckled. "I can't believe I nearly forgot."

     "I haven't checked my phone in a hot minute, but I'd bet money I have messages from the girls asking me to go over to help with the Halloween party," Bethany said dully, looking up at the ceiling. "Also probably thirty missed calls from Vera. I should probably get a hold of her before she comes here and kicks the door in to make sure you didn't go all serial killer on me."

     "Ah, let her," Ville laughed, "that would be entertaining. Are we going to the party? I may or may not have packed a costume."

     "You're joking."

     "Am not," Ville said, getting out from under the blanket and handing his mug to Bethany. He stood up and went over to his backpack, rummaging around for a moment before pulling out a white mask and pulling it over his head. He straightened up and turned around, striking a flamboyant pose, his jauntily tilted head now transformed into Jack Skellington's.

     "Why am I not surprised?" Bethany laughed, reaching for her neglected phone where it lay on the coffee table. "Hold on, don't move, I want a picture of this."

     "Don't you dare put it on Instagram," Ville warned, his voice comically muffled beneath the rubber mask. He held the pose, however, which Bethany took as permission to snap the picture anyway.

     "I don't even have an Instagram, don't worry," she said, saving the photo to her gallery and swiping to check her messages. Her assumptions had been correct; there were a couple of texts from Mary and Cassie asking if she'd coerced "Will" into socializing that evening and would she please bring her makeup kit, and multiple messages from Vera with escalating levels of capitalization. The last text from her read: "IF YOU DON'T ANSWER ME BY NOON I WILL BREAK INTO YOUR APARTMENT. I DON'T CARE WHAT I WALK IN ON. IN FACT I WANT TO WALK IN ON SOMETHING. DON'T ANSWER ME AND PLEASE HAVE HIM NAKED BY 11:45."

     "She really is something else," Ville laughed, having returned to Bethany's side and taken off his mask. Bethany shot him a look and shook her head.

     "No one likes a screen peeker," she admonished, typing a response to Vera to tell her that all was in fact fine and she was not, under any circumstances, to come barging into the apartment to play voyeur. "She probably won't listen to me, so don't be surprised if she just lets herself in. On the bright side, she'll most likely bring lunch. That is her way."

     "I know better than to turn down free food," Ville said, sipping his coffee as he scrolled on his own phone. "You didn't answer me, by the way. Are we going tonight?"

     "Ohh, I suppose," Bethany sighed, chewing her lip. "They'll never forgive me if we don't. They want me there a bit early to help decorate and do makeup, though."

     "I can make myself useful!" Ville said brightly, tossing his phone aside and looking at Bethany in a way that reminded her adorably of an excited golden retriever. "I'm reasonably okay at decorating. By that I mean I can reach things that are high up and I'm pretty good with those blobs of fake spiderwebs."

     "You're actually looking forward to this, aren't you?" Bethany asked, both amused and exasperated.

     "A little," Ville admitted, pulling her close. "It's been ages since I've been to a Halloween party. You know you'll have fun too, once everyone's shock at the sight of me wears off."

     "I was thinking about making you stay in costume, putting on a fake voice the entire time," Bethany joked.

     "That would fool absolutely no one," Ville chuckled. "I can't cover my accent for shit anymore, and if I wear that mask for too long I'll probably suffocate. You're just going to have to 'fess up to your lies."

     "I guess," Bethany grumbled, finishing her coffee and running a hand through her hair. "It'll be fine, so long as we act painfully platonic the whole night."

     "Now that, that I'm excellent at," Ville grinned. "Lots of practice with pretending I'm not dating someone who I actually am dating."

     "Is that what we're doing?" Bethany asked, looking at him shyly. "Dating?"

     "Do you want to be?" Ville asked her, his tone turning serious. "You make me really happy, Beth, but... I know how this goes, for me anyway. It's not always sunshine and daisies. If you don't want the stress, I wouldn't blame you."

     "What on earth are you talking about?" Bethany laughed. "Why wouldn't I want to date you?"

     "My job, for one," Ville sighed, toying absent mindedly with Bethany's hair. "It's not going to be like it was with the band, obviously. I have fewer obligations now. I could decide to never make another album, or not tour anymore. But I'd have a meltdown if I gave it up completely, so it's still something to consider. Then there's the distance. Finland is really far away. I know we can talk on the phone and everything, but even that gets tricky with the time difference. And I'm a bit of a slut for physical affection, so being so far apart sucks."

     "I think we can find ways to make all of that work," Bethany said gently, taking his hands in hers. "People do it all the time. I'm sure we'd be able to make time for each other."

     "What about when you get licensed and you're a full time funeral director?" Ville asked. "I know that's a demanding career. It wouldn't allow for you to hop on a plane and disappear for a few weeks whenever you wanted."

     "It will if I plan ahead," Bethany shrugged. "I have no intentions of starting my own funeral home or anything insane like that. I don't have the mental or emotional capacity to take on that kind of chaos. Hell, chances are I'll just stay at Franklin and Sons after my apprenticeship. They love me and probably wouldn't let me leave even if I wanted to. The rest of the staff is great, everyone always cooperates and makes sure people get vacations and time off when they need it. I'm not worried about it."

     "Okay, here's the big one, then," Ville said, his expression darkening slightly. "For whatever reason, people are way too interested in my personal life, especially back home. That interest isn't always pleasant for the person I love. People can be really cruel, even moreso online where they can be anonymous and say whatever they feel like. If they find out who you are, they'll dig for every scrap of information they can about you and pick it apart. This shit has always bothered me, but in the past I've usually dated people who already had some sort of public presence, so they were somewhat used to it. You don't have that advantage. I'd worry that people would take it too far and harass you. I'd never forgive myself if you or anyone you care about got hurt somehow because of me, or if you lost friends or work opportunities or whatever. I'd do everything in my power to protect you from it, but there's only so much I can prevent. I've never been able to keep it from happening entirely." He rubbed his face tiredly, suddenly looking every one of his 46 years. It made Bethany's heart ache.

     "I'm not afraid," she said, touching his cheek and turning his face to look at her. "I'm a big girl, I can deal with your rabid fanbase. What little social media I have is private, and I tend to keep a low profile otherwise. It'd be pretty hard for anyone to get to me."

     "You'd be surprised," Ville said, smiling grimly. "Did you know you have a bio with your picture and full name on the funeral home website? Which also obviously has your work address and phone number?"

     "Well, yeah," Bethany mumbled with a shrug. "I can ask to have it taken down. I told them it was silly anyway, I'm just an assistant."

     "Not for long," Ville pointed out. "You said you're half done with school, right?"

     "Yeah, but even once I'm an actual mortician I don't need a stupid bio," Bethany laughed. Then she narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Wait, you Googled me!"

     "I'm sure you've Googled me. Now we're even," Ville said, grinning. "At least there are fewer topless pictures of you floating around than there are of me."

     "'Fewer'?" Bethany said, raising an eyebrow. "There should be zero!" Ville laughed and pulled Bethany onto his lap, pressing a kiss to her temple.

     "You know I'm kidding," he said gently, "but I'm not kidding about the rest of it. I don't want to ruin your life. You deserve to be happy and have a peaceful existence. I don't know if I'm worth the trouble I tend to bring around."

     "You're doing that thing I hate again," Bethany said sternly. She pressed her forehead against his and held his face in both of her hands. "You make me happy too, Ville. I've smiled more in the past month than I have in over a year, and that's because of you. I didn't look forward to anything before that night at your show. I was just going through the motions and hoping eventually I'd feel like a person again, but it wasn't looking promising. You changed everything for me. I don't want to let you go."

     "You realize this is probably the honeymoon phase talking, right?" Ville said sadly.

     "And you realize you're a massive killjoy, right?" Bethany retorted. She squished Ville's cheeks, making him snort and push her hands away.

     "Sorry, it's my nature," he sighed, kissing her tenderly. They stayed like that for a long moment, afraid to continue the conversation. Finally Bethany pulled away, looking earnestly into his eyes.

     "While I'm sure this would be excellent lyrical content for you, what with the whole 'I have to walk away before I break your heart' theme, I'm really not here for it."

     "Oh no, I've been exposed," Ville deadpanned. "Now you know my creative secrets, I'm afraid I have to kill you. That will also be great lyrical content."

     "Shut up," Bethany snickered. "You're so dumb."

     "I really am," Ville agreed, still looking sad. "That's the real creative secret. Do dumb things and mope about the consequences. Works every time."

     "Dumb decisions don't always end in disaster," Bethany sighed. "Sometimes you have to give things a chance. Not everything is doomed. So cheer up, you miserable fuck." Ville did smile then, a genuine smile, and hugged her tightly.

     "Okay, okay," he said, nuzzling against her neck. "I yield. I will attempt this 'cheering up' thing you speak of."

     "Good," Bethany murmured, breathing a sigh of relief. She lightly scratched her nails down his back, smiling when he shivered against her. "So, wanna be my boyfriend now?"

     "Very much," Ville whispered, his warm breath tickling her ear. "Very, very, very much..." Bethany's eyes slipped closed as he kissed a sensitive spot just under her jaw, then beneath her chin, and the base of her throat. He pushed her cardigan off of her shoulders and his lips continued their journey downward to her collarbone. Bethany leaned back slightly to give him more access, her breath hitching as he nipped at the swell of her breast with his teeth before sucking softly at her skin. A moan tumbled from her lips and she clutched his shoulders tightly, goosebumps raising all over her body. He looked up at her coyly through his eyelashes just as she happened to glance down at him, and Bethany found herself seriously considering another foray into her bedroom.

     The sound of a key in the lock of the front door interrupted any thought of such things, however, and when Ville's mouth left her skin Bethany briefly weighed the pros and cons of beating her best friend senseless.

     "Decent or not, here I come!" Vera sang, swinging the door open. She was carrying several bags and a full drink carrier from Chipotle, and she held them aloft as she smugly took in the scene before her, not missing the annoyance written plainly over the pair's faces. "Ehh, close enough to naked. You get points for effort, Bethy. Nice hickey. Also, nice to see you again, Ville."

     "Likewise, I suppose," he sighed, letting his head fall back against the couch. "I get to glare at you this time." Bethany snorted and kissed him gently before climbing off his lap, noticing the way he immediately crossed his legs with no small amount of amusement.

     "I suppose I can't say you didn't warn us," she sighed, taking the food from Vera. "This had better be from the good Chipotle, not the half-ass one. It's the only way I'll forgive you."

     "Do I look like some sort of imbicile to you?" Vera scoffed, kicking off her boots and hanging up her purse and leather jacket. "Of course it's from the good one. I got you your usual, and Ville's got a veggie bowl. You are vegan or whatever, right? I swear I heard that somewhere." Ville nodded, smiling bemusedly as Vera sauntered over to him and held out her hand. "Great. I'm Vera, which you know, but I figured I'd be polite and introduce myself properly."

     "Enchanted, truly," he said dryly, taking her hand and shaking it.

     "Ohh, don't be grouchy," Vera grinned, giving him a wink. "I know someone who's recently gotten laid when I see them. You'll survive this little cockblock, no problem." Ville's cheeks instantly went pink and Bethany groaned.

     "Feel free to stop any time," she said, pinching the bridge of her nose. Vera cackled and threw herself down in the armchair, setting about sorting through bags.

     "I'm going to go get dressed," Ville said, getting up and grabbing his backpack from the floor.

     "Oh, fine, ruin all my fun," Vera pouted, earning her a punch to the arm from Bethany. She hit her back playfully as Ville hurried from the room, grinning mischievously up at her friend.

     "You should probably tone it down, Vee," Bethany warned, grabbing her iced tea and taking a long drink. "He is shy, you know."

     "Trial by fire," Vera shrugged, placing everyone's lunch on the table with napkins and plastic cutlery. "I am who I am, he will either adjust or become my arch nemesis. For your sake, I hope it's the former. So! Storytime. How was it?"

     "Nuh-uh, not happening," Bethany said firmly.

     "Spoilsport," Vera huffed. "I always tell you how my sexcapades went!"

     "Against my will!" Bethany exclaimed, returning to her seat on the couch. "I know far more about you and several of our male acquaintances than I ever wanted to."

     "I consider it giving you helpful ideas," Vera reasoned, unwrapping her burrito and taking a ravenous bite. "I hope you took at least a few mental notes at some point. I suspect you did, judging by the angelic glow he's sporting underneath all the blushing and contemplated murder."

     "I hate you," Bethany said without any real heat. "And I'm not talking about my sex life with you."

     "Lemme get a few glasses of vampire punch in you at the Collars' tonight, you'll sing like a canary," Vera said, wiggling her eyebrows.

     "Ohh, no," Bethany laughed, shaking her head. "No drinking for me tonight, I have to be on top of my duplicity game. And so do you. They cannot know what's going on here. Not yet. Ville is my friend, full stop, do not pass go, do not collect $200."

     "Better not wear that witch gettup with the plunging neckline then," Vera snickered, gesturing at the livid bruise Ville's lips had left on Bethany's cleavage.

     "Ohmygod, shut up," Bethany whined, pulling her sweater tightly across her chest. She chewed her lip thoughtfully then. "I actually have no idea what I'm wearing to this party, now I think about it."

     "I do," Ville said, appearing in the doorway fully dressed, his vape pen dangling from his lips. "I brought you a costume, too."

     "Does that backpack of yours even have a bottom?" Bethany asked, raising an eyebrow. "Wait, wait, don't tell me. Sally. You fucking dork."

     "Guilty," he said, ruffling her hair and sitting on the floor in front of the bowl with his name scrawled on the lid in sharpie. "There's a wig and everything. Don't even try to tell me no, I've committed to the bit."

     "Well, what do you know, I'm nauseated yet again," Vera said, wrinkling her nose exaggeratedly. "I'm guessing you're Jack?"

     "It's about the only costume I can pull off," Ville explained, stirring his veggie bowl. "I also appreciate having a full mask to cover my ugly mug- ow!" He glared at Bethany, who had just given his hair a sharp tug.

     "I told you to stop that," she shrugged, grabbing her own chicken burrito bowl. "You know better." Ville rolled his eyes and shoveled a forkful of rice into his mouth, choosing not to argue.

     "You two are precious," Vera said, her eyes sparkling as she took a sip of her lemonade.

     "Because she abuses me when I'm self-deprecating?" Ville asked, raising an eyebrow.

     "There's nothing more annoying than a hot person who acts like they're some sort of hideous creature," Vera tutted. "You've had women and more than a few men throwing themselves at you for the better part of thirty years, don't play dumb."

     "Well I think I'm weird looking," Ville mumbled.

     "You didn't seem to think so about twenty years ago," Vera laughed. "This one over here used to watch your old interviews and performances for hours - wipe that look off your face Bethy, this is the price you pay for inflicting your obsessions upon me for our entire high school career - anyway, Ville, you could have given me a run for my money with all that confidence."

     "Ah, yes, that would have been the 'fake it 'til you make it' era," Ville said, rolling his eyes. "I was terrified and confused by all the attention I was getting, so I stayed perpetually drunk and threw every cocky absurdity I could think of at the wall and hoped something would stick. It never really did, but no one seemed too heartbroken when I started keeping my clothes on, so I guess it all worked out in the end."

     "Huh," Vera said, looking at him thoughtfully. "So what you're saying is, get some whiskey in you and you'll turn into me?"

     "You're not far off, honestly," Ville grinned. "I'm not like that anymore, though. I'm good with the real me, even if it occasionally gets my hair pulled."

     "You like it," Bethany muttered. Vera giggled and Ville blushed, throwing a balled up napkin at Bethany's face.

     "In the proper context, which this is definitely not," he corrected. "Enough ganging up on me, it's not fair."

     "Sorry," Bethany said, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. She put the lid back on her food and returned it to the table before checking her phone. "So, it looks like Cassie and Mary want us over there at three to start setting up. Vera, are you tagging along?"

     "Ugh, you want me to do work?" Vera grimaced. "I just got done decorating the bar for our party tonight, I'm all festive cheer-ed out."

     "Fine, you can sit around and give orders," Bethany said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I know how you love bossing people around."

     "That's more like it," Vera said, giving Bethany dual finger guns.

     "How did you get out of tending bar tonight, anyway?" Bethany asked. "Doesn't Patricia have a fucking coronary any time you aren't there for a holiday?"

     "Oh, she definitely had a coronary," Vera said, seeming unbothered, "but I've worked the last three Halloweens in a row. I told her I'd rather chew off my own arm than wrangle eighty drunkies in slutty devil costumes this year. I want to be a drunky in a slutty devil costume again, goddammit. I'm not getting any younger. The other girls will be fine, more money for them if they don't have to also split tips with me, anyhow."

     "So, what I'm hearing is that I'm your DD tonight," Bethany said, crossing her arms.

     "You did say you're not risking getting shwastey and blowing y'all's cover," Vera pointed out. "You might as well cart my happy ass home when the party's over."

     "Fine, fine," Bethany said, feigning annoyance. "Mom friend powers, activate."

     "Mom friend is a noble calling," Ville said sagely. "I'd probably be dead if it weren't for mom friends hauling me out of trouble when I was a young, drunken idiot."

     "I can't imagine the sort of steel twenty-something Ville's mom friends had to have been made of," Bethany laughed.

     "You're not kidding," Ville said with an embarrassed smile. "There's a reason they still get really nice bottles of wine from me every single Christmas."

     "I sense stories," Vera trilled, tossing her empty cup in one of the to-go bags. "I want to hear all of them."

     "I'll tell you as much as I can remember," Ville chuckled. "That's not much, mind you. Hence my needing mom friends."

     Bethany smiled as Ville launched into a tale from back in 2002 about almost getting the shit kicked out of him in a bar in Germany by a guy three times his size who did not appreciate Ville's androgynous appearance and sarcastic sense of humor. Apparently one of the band's merch girls, a tiny, tattooed spitfire named Natalie, had heard the commotion and immediately launched herself between the two men, giving the big guy a thorough dressing down before punching Ville in the gut for shooting his mouth off and dragging him back to the tourbus by the ear.

     "She basically appointed herself my bodyguard after that," Ville said, taking a drag from his vape. "Or maybe 'babysitter' would have been more correct. People would laugh at her, but she was fucking terrifying when she got angry. I saw her rip out a handful of some girl's hair in a bar fight once. I made an effort to never get on her bad side again after that."

     "I think I'm in love," Vera said, awestruck. "Where is she now?"

     "Back in Finland, happily married with three kids," Ville grinned, shaking his head. "Sorry to disappoint. Once I stopped being a dickhead all the time, she decided it was safe to settle down and leave her punk rock ways behind. She still calls to threaten me if she hears I've gotten myself into hot water, though. The voice of reason in my head sounds suspiciously like her."

     "Reminds me a lot of you, Vee," Bethany said. "Didn't you almost fight a girl at my twenty-first birthday party on my behalf?"

     "Oh, yeah!" Vera gasped, clapping her hands gleefully. "She was being a jealous twat since it was her birthday too but more people were there for you. She'd had way too many Jager bombs and was being a moron. She tried to come up and get in your face, but I wasn't having it. I told her to fuck right off and then told her boyfriend to take her home before there were problems. No violence necessary, so it's not as good of a story. I totally would have ripped her hair out if I'd had to though, make no mistake."

     "I wish I actually remembered this happening," Bethany grinned, rubbing the back of her neck. "I may have also been fed a few too many Jager bombs that evening..."

     "No, no, no," Vera laughed, "you were doing Vegas bombs, like a classy lady."

     "Ugh, please stop talking," Ville groaned, his forehead hitting the tabletop with a dull thud. "Just hearing those words is giving me flashbacks. I can taste it, both the drinking and the puking. And now I'm remembering some desperate bargaining with God..."

     "Poor baby," Vera cooed, reaching over and patting Ville's hand. "We've all been there. I remember when I started getting hangovers. A sad, sad day."

     "I haven't actually been drunky drunk since my first hangover," Bethany said, repressing a shudder. "Had to quit while I was ahead. The last place you want to be while constantly queasy is a funeral home."

     "You're just an assistant though," Vera said, furrowing her brow. "You don't have to get like... up close and personal with the dearly departed, do you?"

     "You never ask me about work," Bethany said, smirking knowingly. "You sure you want me to ruin the rest of your day like this?"

     "Oh my GOD, I though you just did paperwork and flower arranging!" Vera cried, looking horrified.

     "I've done a few removals and transfers when people have called off," Bethany shrugged. "Not by myself, obviously, because I'm not exactly a power lifter. But yeah, sometimes I actually have to see dead people. You know I start labs at PIMS in like two weeks, right? I'll get to embalm people, for realsies."

     "You scare me," Vera said. "I love you more than life itself and would do anything for you, but you scare me."

     "I think it's cool as fuck," Ville chimed in, looking at Bethany with pride. "Someone has to do it, and I sure as fuck couldn't. I'll wax poetic about death all day long, but I'm not about to drain anyone's blood or sew their mouths shut."

     "It's really not that big of a deal," Bethany demured, the tips of her ears going slightly pink. "It's just a job. I mean, it feels good to help people when they're going through the worst shit imaginable, but the actual work is just work. It's not spooky or scary or anything. Can be a little gross, but that's about it."

     "And yet you had some serious trouble with that movie last night," Ville laughed.

     "I was trying to eat!" Bethany said defensively. "I don't make a habit of eating dinner over the deceased. That's generally frowned upon."

     Conversation continued to flow easily for following hour. Bethany was pleased to see Ville and Vera getting along, despite Vera's ill-timed arrival. She brought something youthful and wild out in him, his eyes sparkling as he talked about all of the stupid things he and the boys used to get up to during their days in HIM. Bethany couldn't help but think that if they'd all met back then, Ville probably would have gravitated to Vera more than her. She didn't feel jealousy at this realization, however. They hadn't met back then, they knew each other now. Ville was older, more mellow and laid back, and the person he'd grown up to be was exactly what Bethany needed. And as he leaned back comfortably against her legs, allowing her to play with his hair as he talked animatedly, she thought somehow that she was exactly what he needed now, too.

Chapter Text

     Bethany hummed to herself as she peered into the bathroom mirror, her face paint almost finished. This was hardly her first Halloween as Sally, so she was able to do the makeup without too much trouble. She'd had Vera do the back of her neck before she left to get changed into her own costume, which was actually a sexy pirate, not a slutty devil ("It's free advertising for Vance's books!" she'd explained. "Plus the corset is actually the most perfect thing I have ever worn, just you wait and see."). She finished coloring in the lines, smiling with satisfaction, before picking up the false eyelashes and sticking them delicately in place.

     Giving her handiwork a final once over and deciding it was a job well done, she grabbed the dress Ville had given her from where she'd hung it over the shower curtain and pulled it on. It was very well-made and seemed to fit perfectly, but it zipped up in the back and she wasn't able to reach it herself. She left the bathroom to find Ville, who was in the living room in his own costume, the signature Pumpkin King pinstripe suit, missing only the mask. He held something in his hands and seemed deep in thought. As Bethany drew closer, she realized it was a picture frame he was holding. Her heart sank when she recognized which one it was.

     "Is this him?" Ville asked softly, holding the photograph out to her. Bethany took the frame and looked down at the picture of Mason and herself smiling widely during a day at Kennywood. The picture was about four years old. It had been a miserably hot day so they'd stuck to water rides, and by the time this picture was taken they'd looked like a pair of drowned rats. Mason's dark hair, usually meticulously styled, was plastered to his head, and Bethany's makeup was running all down her face, but they looked positively giddy. It was one of Bethany's favorite memories, and so she'd always kept the picture on her wall, even after Mason had passed away.

     "Yeah," she breathed finally, tracing the pattern of the carved wooden frame with the pad of her thumb. "It's from a few summers ago. We went to the local theme park for the day since we both had the same days off for once. We had a great time."

     "It looks like it," Ville said, nodding. "You look happy. Both of you."

     "We were," Bethany said, looking up at him and forcing a smile. "Things were good. Unbelievably good, actually. Neither of us could have imagined then that we only had a few years left together..." She sighed heavily and moved past him to hang the picture back up. "Shit sucks."

     "It does," Ville agreed, putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. "I am really sorry, Bethany. I can tell how much he loved you."

     "Thank you," Bethany whispered, blinking back tears and turning to look up at him. He looked forlorn and slightly guilty. She took his hands in hers and pulled him down for a gentle kiss. "Enough of this, now. I'm not going to cry and wreck all my hard work. What do you think?" She framed her face with her hands and batted her over exaggerated lashes at him, and he grinned.

     "You look perfect," he said, motioning for her to turn around so he could zip up her dress. The dress included patterned full length sleeves and matching tights, so Bethany hadn't had to paint every inch of exposed skin. All that was left now was for her to find a pair of boots that matched closely enough and put on the deep red yarn wig. Ville had spent far too much time straightening out said wig for her, as it had gotten a bit tangled in its packaging at the bottom of his backpack. It now lay perfectly over the back of the armchair. Bethany picked it up and pulled it easily over her short hair, adjusting it as she looked into the small decorative mirror that hung next to the balcony door. Ville came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. He still hadn't put his mask on yet.

     "Would you like me to paint your face instead?" Bethany asked, reaching up to touch his cheek. "I know it's not the same, but if you have trouble with breathing in the mask it might be for the best."

     "Nah, it's fine," he said, very lightly kissing her neck so as not to smear her makeup. "I'll put it on when it counts. So, prior to my surprise introduction and for pictures, and then never again, probably." Bethany giggled and rolled her eyes.

     "Put it on now then," she said, shooing him away. "I want a picture together before we go so I can immortalize this makeup while it still looks nice." Ville moved to grab the mask off the coffee table and put it on, pulling out his phone and opening the camera app.

     "I'll take it, my arms are longer," he teased, putting one arm around her shoulders and resting his head on top of hers. They both looked at the camera, Bethany smiling happily and assuming Ville was as well, despite the mask. Ville took the picture, nodding in approval and showing it to Bethany.

     "Aww, we're adorable," she grinned. "Send that to me, please."

     "Will do," Ville said, pulling the mask back off and checking the time. "It's 2:30, we should probably get over there."

     "Alright, here goes nothing," Bethany sighed, walking to the door and pulling on a pair of worn out brown boots, followed by her jacket. "Ah, balls. Could you grab my makeup bag from the bathroom? I forgot it."

     "Mmhmm, mmhmm," Ville hummed, zipping up his own jacket as he sauntered down the hallway to the bathroom. Bethany double checked her purse to make sure she had everything and sent a text to Cassie.

     "Hey, we're about to leave. I uh, might have a bit of a surprise. No one is allowed to be mad at me, I'm just an idiot. You'll see when we get there. XOXOXOXO"

     "What the hell do you have in here, rocks?" Ville asked behind her, indicating the bag in his hand. Bethany rolled her eyes and took it from him.

     "It's not that heavy," she pouted, opening the door and stepping into the hallway. Ville followed her out and she locked the door behind them. They made their way down the stairs and out to the parking lot.

     "Nice costume, Miss Bethany!" came a tiny voice across the lot. Bethany looked up to see Sarah, one of her neighbors' daughters, waving excitedly at her from the grassy common area where she was playing with her friends. All of the girls were dressed as one Disney princess or another. Ville quickly jammed his mask back over his head, not wanting to break the illusion, and the kids all squealed excitedly and clapped.

     "Thanks, Sarah!" Bethany laughed, wiggling her fingers at her as she unlocked her car. "Happy Halloween, girls! Be careful tonight!"

     "We will!" Sarah called. "Happy Halloween Miss Bethany and Miss Bethany's friend!" Ville laughed and waved as well as he and Bethany both got into the car. Once the door was shut, off came the mask again.

     "That was cute," he said, running his fingers through his hair. "I see you're popular."

     "I've lived around here forever," Bethany shrugged, starting the car and backing out of her parking space, keeping an eye out for any other costumed children running about. "Everyone knows me, especially since I work at the main funeral home in town. Sometimes it's a little weird. I suppose you'd be able to relate though, on a larger scale."

     "True," Ville said, shooting her a sly smile. "Gotta say, it's nice to be just 'the friend' for a change."

     "Yeah, you're a little before those girls' time," Bethany joked. "Their moms though, they might have made a scene had they been around."

     "I don't know how to feel about anything you just said," Ville said, making a face.

     "What, that you're popular with lots of former goth moms?" Bethany teased, easing out onto the main road. "And plenty of still goth moms?"

     "All I can think about is all the dads who probably have a complex about it."

     "Oh, yeah," Bethany giggled. "I guarantee you're the subject of many a 'Hall Pass' discussion."

     "What the fuck is a 'Hall Pass'?" Ville asked, looking apprehensive. "Do I even want to know?"

     "What, you've never had the Hall Pass talk?" Bethany asked, grinning. "It's where a couple agrees to give each other a pass to sleep with one other person, usually a celebrity, if the opportunity ever presented itself."

     "Jesus Christ," Ville groaned, rubbing his forehead. "No, I can't say I've ever had that talk before."

     "Huh, interesting," Bethany said lightly. Ville's head snapped to look at her.

     "Have you?" he asked. Bethany glanced at him, fighting back a smile.

     "Maybe," she said coyly.

     "Who was yours?" Ville pressed, narrowing his eyes.

     "What's wrong, are you worried?" Bethany asked innocently.

     "You know what? No, I'm absolutely not," Ville laughed. "It was me, wasn't it?"

     "My, my, full of yourself today, aren't you?"

     "It was!"

     "I'll never tell," Bethany said, sticking her tongue out at him as she stopped at a red light. Ville laughed maniacally and shook his head.

     "Totally me," he said smugly, leaning across the center console and kissing her with a startling amount of heat. It was over quickly, much to Bethany's dismay, and he sat back easily in his seat. "I'm flattered."

     "I should flatter you more often, if it gets me kissed like that," Bethany said breathlessly, forcing herself to return her attention to the drive.

     "That was nothing," Ville said, his voice dropping a couple of octaves. "I didn't want to ruin your makeup. I'll repay your flattery properly later."

     Bethany didn't trust herself to respond to that, so she settled for squeezing his hand tightly, earning her a low, velvety chuckle.

     This evening is going to kill me.

***

     Bethany parked her car in the Collar home's driveway at three o' clock on the dot and took a deep, steadying breath.

     "It's going to be fine," Ville assured her, donning his mask once again. "I promise not to profess my undying love for you in front of everyone."

     "Appreciated," Bethany muttered, opening her door and getting out of the car. Ville followed suit, stopping to get Bethany's makeup bag out of the back seat and making an overdramatic show of lugging its weight as he walked around the car to her side. She elbowed him in the ribs and took it from him, motioning for him to follow her to the front door. The lawn was littered with half-assembled props and decor, but no one seemed to be around. Bethany rang the doorbell, smiling when she heard hurried footsteps from inside. As she suspected, it was Cassie who pulled the door open moments later.

     "Trick or treat!" Bethany said, giving her a hug.

     "Oh my gosh, look at you guys!" Cassie squealed excitedly. "You look so good! That wig is killer, Bethy." She looked up at Ville and smiled brightly. "And you're the mysterious Will, I'm guessing?" Before he could respond, Mary appeared behind her sister, a smear of what looked like orange frosting marking her cheek.

     "Hey Bethy!" she smiled, nodding approvingly at the costumes. "Looking spooky and perfect, as usual. And your friend, too! Hi, Will, right?"

     "Actually..." Ville said slowly, "darling Bethany might have told you a little white lie." He swept the mask from his head with a flourish, giving the two women a charming smile. "It's Ville, in fact."

     "SHUT UP!" Cassie screeched, gripping Bethany's arm like a vice. "You BRAT, why didn't you tell us?!" Bethany laughed, looking between the girls' shocked faces and Ville's decidedly pleased one.

     "I didn't know how," she said with an awkward shrug. "It sounded really made up when I ran through it in my head. But uh, yeah, surprise!"

     "One hell of a surprise!" Mary laughed, holding out her hand to Ville. "Well, Ville, it's nice to meet you. I'm Mary, and this is my little sister Cassie."

     "It's lovely to meet you as well," Ville smiled, shaking Mary's hand and then Cassie's. "Bethany's told me a lot about you both."

     "And she gave you an alias when talking to us, unbelievable," Mary said, giving Bethany a playful glare. "Come on in, guys. We're running a bit behind and could use all the help we can get." Bethany and Ville followed the girls inside, hanging up their jackets on hooks in the entryway.

     "Having dessert trouble?" Bethany asked, gesturing at Mary's orange cheek. She wiped at the frosting, rolling her eyes with a huff.

     "Mom's the baker, not me," she sighed. "She's at the store right now, still dealing with the dog groomer crisis. I swear I'm about to say to hell with it and scrap that whole idea."

     "You still haven't found anyone decent?" Bethany asked, raising an eyebrow. "Damn, Cassie really is going to have to take one for the team and learn how to cut pet hair."

     "I don't care who does it at this point, as long as they don't completely suck," Mary grumbled, leading everyone into the kitchen. It looked like a bomb full of flour and sprinkles had gone off. "I'd ask you two to try to salvage this particular disaster, but I don't want you to mess up your outfits. This is mom problems. Can I get you something to drink, anyway?"

     "I made the punch already!" Cassie offered, still eyeing Ville with fascination.

     "No one is drinking that punch before the party starts," Mary said, pointing a spatula at her sister threateningly. "You've got a heavy hand with the vodka, we don't need people passing out at three in the afternoon."

     "I'm seventeen, what do I know about measuring alcohol?" Cassie asked, feigning innocence. "Fine, peach tea good with you guys?"

     "Perfect," Bethany grinned, and Ville nodded in agreement. Cassie poured them each a glass, carefully avoiding the mess around the counter as she handed them over.

     "I'm working on the decorations in the dining room, if you guys want to come help with that," she said, leading them into the next room. The Collars' dining room was very spacious and elegant, clad in lots of dark wood and deep green accents. Bethany always thought it looked like an enchanted forest. On this particular day, there were already twinkling purple and white fairy lights strung along the upper portion of the walls, and the long walnut table was covered in rolls of streamers, sparkling purple and black tinsel, and several bags of those fake spiderwebs Ville had mentioned earlier.

     "Same plan of attack as usual?" Bethany asked, setting her drink down and beginning to unroll a spool of streamers.

     "Yep, make it look like Spirit Halloween threw up all over the room," Cassie confirmed. "I trust your judgement."

     "You've never regretted telling her that?" Ville asked, giving Bethany a smirk.

     "Not where Halloween is concerned," Cassie laughed, climbing up on a ladder and pressing some thumbtacks into the wall. "She did date my brother though, so maybe her taste in other areas is questionable..."

     "Oh, real nice, Cass," Bethany said tersely. Cassie gave her a meaningful look.

     "He would have laughed at that, and you know it," she said, twisting the end of some tinsel around the thumbtacks. "I feel better if I make jokes. We all need to stop holding our breath all the time."

     "I... Yeah, I guess you're right," Bethany said softly, opting to start wrapping white streamers around a large statue in the corner like a mummy. She smiled slightly when she felt Ville's hand gently touch her lower back as he moved past her to start working on spiderwebs.

     "From what I've heard, Mason sounds like he was a good guy," he said, taking a seat at the table and slowly pulling the plastic blobs into wispy sheets. "Bethany's taste in men can't be that bad."

     "Mason was weird," Cassie snorted. "He managed to somehow be a massive know-it-all nerd and an obnoxious redneck at the same time. I don't think I've ever met a more confusing human being in my life. He could be out mudding on his quad with his yee yee buddies all afternoon, then by dinnertime he'd be in the basement with his Lord of the Rings fanclub friends playing D&D. It seriously gave us all whiplash."

     "It's almost as if people can have multiple interests!" Bethany said, feigning amazement.

     "Okay, I'm sorry, but you really lost me in the middle," Ville said, looking very confused. "Please run 'mudding', 'quad' and 'yee yee' by me again with translations for a foreigner."

     "Oh, my sweet summer child," Bethany tutted, patting him on the shoulder. "I don't know how to tell you this, but you're currently in the part of Pennsylvania that wants to be the South really fucking bad. People around here like to shotgun Bud Lights then get on ATVs and do donuts in mud puddles for hours with their redneck friends. It's a thing we do here."

     "'We'?" Ville laughed, looking at her with surprise. "You included?"

     "It's a little fun," Bethany said with a wink. "Don't tell anyone, but I can get down with some country music, too."

     "Pretty sure there are some pictures of you at a Luke Combs concert lying around here somewhere," Cassie giggled.

     "I had a lovely time at that show, I feel no shame," Bethany said haughtily. "Okay, I feel a little shame for buying a $12 beer. But only for that."

     "Twelve fucking dollars?" Ville asked, eyes wide.

     "We ran late and missed tailgating before the show, I paid the hefty price," Bethany huffed, taking some of the spiderwebs Ville had stretched out and wrapping them around a candelabra.

     "Jesus," Ville muttered, raising his eyebrows. "That aside, it might surprise you to know Finland has rednecks of its own. I've spent my fair share of time in the woods, drinking garbage beer and doing dumb shit."

     "I can't imagine that," Cassie giggled, finishing up with her tinsel and moving on to hanging up glittery bats. "You're so... refined." Ville made an unattractive noise and laughed loudly.

     "I will rid you of that notion, give me time," he said, giving her a wink. "Honestly, there's not much to amuse yourself with when you're young back home. So you get drunk, climb a tree, fall into a snow bank, everyone laughs at you and someone steals your pants. It's probably not so different in small towns here."

     "I feel like that was a really specific example," Bethany said, now filling glass jars with creepy plastic eyeballs.

     "It might have been," Ville replied. "I'm glad we didn't all have cameras in our pockets when I was a teenager, we'll leave it at that."

***

     About an hour later, most of the decorating was finished. Vera had arrived shortly after the dining room had been transformed into a chaotic Halloween hellscape, dressed very alluringly in her magnificent pirate queen costume. She had quickly jumped into supervisor mode, dragging Ville outside and making him assemble and arrange the lawn decorations. Bethany was put in charge of the front porch display, which involved some strategically placed lights, a fog machine, and far too many foam jack o' lanterns. She had just finished draping a tattered, sickly gray gauzy material around the front door when she heard a vehicle pulling into the driveway. She turned to see Tracy's blue Denali pull into the space beside her own car, and she took a deep breath. Time for introductions.

     Tracy hopped out of the truck and admired the group's handiwork, waving at Bethany as she made her way toward the house.

     "Hi, honey!" she said, giving Bethany a big hug. "Look how cute you look! And you've done such a nice job out here, thank you so much!" She turned to look at Vera and Ville some distance away, who appeared to be bickering about whether or not the archway Ville had just erected was crooked. "Is that your Will over there with the lady of the high seas?"

     "Oh, yes," Bethany said, clearing her throat awkwardly. "About that, uh, I might not have been completely honest with you all. His name isn't Will. It's Ville."

     "Well, I'll be damned," Tracy said, her eyebrows nearly jumping into her hairline. "I thought he looked oddly familiar. Why didn't you just tell us you two met and became friends?"

     "I didn't think you'd believe me," Bethany said lamely. "I almost didn't believe it at the time, truthfully. Mason got me a backstage pass with those tickets. It was the only one, Ville approved it personally after reading the incredibly sweet message Mason sent pleading my case. We hung out and talked and ended up really hitting it off, so... Here we are."

     "Hmmm," Tracy said thoughtfully, watching Ville as he snatched Vera's pirate hat off her head and tossed it across the lawn like a frisbee, apparently having had enough of her micromanaging. Bethany barely restrained a giggle, smiling as her friend stormed across the yard with her nose in the air to fetch her hat. Ville looked in Bethany's direction then, his back straightening when he spotted Tracy standing beside her. He quickly jogged over to them, giving Tracy a boyish grin and extending his hand to her.

     "Tracy, I presume?" he asked politely. "I'm Ville, Bethany's friend. It's nice to meet you."

     "A pleasure to meet you too," Tracy said, shaking his hand daintily. "And a bit of a shock, she kept you quite a secret."

     "She told me," Ville said, grinning at Bethany. "It's alright, I wouldn't want to tell anyone I was friends with me, either."

     "You're the worst," Bethany said, rolling her eyes.

     "That's what I'm saying!" Ville laughed, turning his attention back to Tracy. "Thank you very much for inviting me to your party tonight. I haven't been to one like this in years. Usually I'm spending Halloween at concerts, and half the time I'm the one performing, so it's nice to have a chance to hang out with friends and relax for a change."

     "Oh, you're very welcome!" Tracy said graciously. "And thank you for helping the girls set up. Everything looks wonderful. I don't suppose either of you have seen the state of the food situation...?"

     "I think Mary might have had a nervous breakdown in there," Bethany said, smiling apologetically. "She wouldn't let us help since we came in costume."

     "I was in the kitchen a little bit ago," came Vera's voice as she popped up beside Bethany, swatting Ville's chest with her hat. "She has most of the mess cleaned up, and Cassie got all the cute appetizers done. She said you're on cookie duty though, because she and Mary are cursed by Betty Crocker."

     "Oh, brother," Tracy sighed. "Alright, I'll go investigate. Why don't you three come on in and help yourselves to some snacks and punch? You worked hard, you deserve a break."

     "Thanks, Trace," Bethany said, giving the older woman's shoulder a squeeze.

     The four of them headed inside and walked to the kitchen, where Cassie was busy mixing another batch of punch while the Monster Mash blared from the small stereo in the corner of the room. She looked up when her mother put her purse on the counter, and she smiled with relief.

     "Oh, thank god," she laughed. "Mom, Mary massacred two batches of cookies and one bowl of frosting. I don't know how she did it. I forced her to give up and wait for you to handle it. The rest of the food's done though!"

     "Thanks, Cass," Tracy said, shaking her head good-naturedly. "I'll take care of the cookies. You go ahead and join these three for a snack break. Where did your sister disappear to, anyway?"

     "She's getting our costumes together," Cassie told her, turning to the fridge and pulling out several trays of spooky-themed finger foods. "She already sampled basically everything I made, so she's good. You guys help yourselves, though! And are we doing boozy or non-boozy punch? The bowl I just finished over there is sans vodka."

     "I'll take some of that, thanks," Ville said locating his glass from earlier next to the sink and filling it with the unsettlingly red drink. Apparently Cassie also had a heavy hand with the grenadine.

     "Ditto," Bethany said, sliding her own glass across the island toward Ville. He caught it easily and filled it as well before sending it gliding back with the skill of a practiced bartender.

     "Well, shit," Vera said, impressed. "My bar's hiring, if you ever get sick of the whole rockstar thing."

     "I don't have the patience to do what you do," Ville laughed, sipping on his drink as he picked a few appetizers and added them to a black paper plate. "I'd get fired for decking someone within a week."

     "Hey, if they start it, you get to finish it," Vera shrugged, helping herself to some of the spiked punch from the fridge. "I've knocked out a couple people in my time. If they come behind that bar, all bets are off."

     "I'm sure the ladies who come to drink there wouldn't mind having a handsome man serving them from time to time," Tracy said, giving Ville a smile. "Too many bars cater only to the little boys who come in wanting to see pretty girls in low-cut shirts."

     "We have Frankie!" Vera said, hopping up onto one of the tall island chairs with no small amount of difficulty. "He only works weekends, but he's a cutie patootie."

     "And surly as all get out," Bethany pointed out. "The only reason Patricia doesn't fire him is because he's hot and has a functioning brain in his skull. He has zero people skills."

     "He's nice once you get to know him!" Vera argued, then she made a face. "Okay, 'nice' might be a strong word. 'Less hostile' is more accurate. I know I saw the two of you have a conversation that lasted longer than two minutes a month or so ago."

     "A fluke, likely because at that time I was also miserable and surly," Bethany said, building a tiny mountain of veggies on her own plate. "Though he did offer to run some errands for me if I wasn't feeling up to it, so... Maybe he's not a complete ass. Just half an ass."

     "He's had a tough life, he doesn't mean to suck so much," Vera said, her expression softening. "He's working on it. He's been hanging out with Vance a lot lately, having big ol' heart to hearts and everything. Don't tell him I told you that, though."

     "I feel like I need to meet all of your friends," Ville said, appearing at Bethany's side. "They seem like an interesting bunch."

     "More like a bunch of mental hospital escapees," Bethany grinned. "But yeah, for sure. You'd fit right in."

     "With the mental hospital escapees?"

     "I imagine you could become the leader," Bethany teased, bumping his hip with hers.

     "How long are you visiting, Ville?" Tracy asked, looking up from her cookie dough. "Long enough to meet Bethy's other friends?"

     "Only one more day, sadly," Ville replied. "I'll catch a plane back to South Carolina tomorrow night to meet back up with the guys and start touring again. I just had this weekend off."

     "It was sweet of you to spend your time off visiting Bethany," Tracy said lightly.

     "It was an easy decision to make," Ville said, glancing at Bethany. "We have a lot in common and she's great company. I'd rather spend time with a friend than be cooped up alone in a hotel room for three days."

     "Do you make friends with fans a lot?" Tracy asked, and this time Bethany shot Cassie a subtle look. Cassie shrugged awkwardly.

     "No, actually," Ville said with a nervous laugh. "Usually I keep most people at arms' length. Bethany's a bit of an outlier. I could tell she was different from a lot of people who come out to see me. We were really comfortable hanging out backstage, and the thought of never seeing each other again bummed me out, so I took a chance and asked if we could stay in touch. I'm glad I did."

     "That's good, then," Tracy said, watching him carefully. "It's nice to see Bethy smiling again. I assume she's told you she was my son's girlfriend, before he passed away last year."

     "She did, yeah," Ville said, clasping his hands in front of him on the countertop. "I understand the tickets to my show were the last gift he ever gave her. Hopefully I gave a performance worthy of that honor."

     "You did," Bethany assured him, squeezing his forearm gently. "It was one of the best nights of my life, you know that."

     "Mason loved her very much," Tracy sighed, beginning to place balls of cookie dough on a baking sheet. "They were together for such a long time and had been friends even before that, and then... Well. He passed so suddenly. It was hard on all of us, but it affected Bethany in a way none of us could ever imagine. We were all worried about her, you know? She seems much happier now, since she's met you, Ville."

     "I'm glad to hear it," Ville said, putting an arm around Bethany and squeezing her to his side. Bethany was grateful she had her entire face painted as her cheeks warmed slightly.

     "It's funny," Cassie said then, tilting her head. "You make such gloomy music, but you're pretty fun to be around."

     "That's the idea," Ville laughed, letting Bethany go with some reluctance. "The whole thing has always been kind of a joke. 'Ooh, spooky, dark, gothy music', but it's all crap love songs and sarcasm delivered by a band of idiots. Don't get me wrong, we've always been serious as musicians, but underneath that we were always having a laugh. Can't be too serious or else you just turn into an asshole."

     "So, did you not actually mean all the lovey dovey stuff you wrote?" Cassie asked.

     "I meant every word," Ville said, smiling ruefully. "Still do, for better or worse. I only mean that the method of delivery is a joke. You're not 'supposed' to make rock music almost exclusively about how you're pining for someone so much that it hurts. I said, 'fucking watch me' and somehow it all worked out. I suppose I now have the decency to be a bit more poppy about it when left to my own devices. Much to many grouchy metalheads' relief, I suspect."

     "They're all just jealous," Cassie grinned. "They wish they could have been half as successful as you've been."

     "Ah, well, thanks," Ville said quietly, pushing food around on his plate. "I'm just some guy, really. I wanted to make music with my friends, so I did. Some days I wake up and I'm still confused by how it all went so well."

     "So modest!" Tracy laughed, putting several trays of cookies into the oven. "And now you've got a solo career. Is that going to be a long-term thing?"

     "Oh, I haven't really thought that far ahead," Ville said awkwardly. "I never do. I wanted to do this right now, so that's what's happening. I'll probably always make music, I'm not really good at anything else. As for making full albums and touring, I don't know. I'll probably be sick to death of this and just want to go home again by the time this tour's done, so ask again in a year or so."

     "Do you get very homesick?" Tracy asked.

     "Extremely," Ville admitted. "Finland is cold and ugly and miserable, but so am I. It's the only place I feel like I can rest. And there's nothing like going home and sleeping in your own bed. I've bought one mattress in the last fifteen years and it still feels brand new, that's how little I've gotten to sleep in it."

     "That's... incredibly sad, actually," Bethany said, pouting at him. He grinned and poked her lower lip back in.

     "Worth it," he shrugged. "I wouldn't trade the life I've had for anything, but it is nice to finally be able to choose to stay home when I feel like it."

     "Do you have anyone special back home?" Tracy gave him a sly wink.

     "Mother!" Cassie exclaimed, giving Tracy a dirty look. "Stop interrogating the poor thing! Ville, I'm sorry, she's so nosy."

     "That's alright," Ville laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm used to it."

     "I'm only curious," Tracy said defensively. "I can't imagine someone like you being alone very often."

     "I'm glad I can still fool people into thinking I'm that charming," Ville said, giving Tracy a kind smile. "But um, no. No one special. I haven't been seeing anyone for quite a while now." He was making a point not to look at Bethany, who was clenching her teeth so hard she thought they might break.

     "Such a waste," Vera piped up, shaking her head ruefully. "I volunteer as tribute."

     "As lovely and stunning as you are, Miss Vera," Ville sighed, "it would never work between us. I can't handle someone with your spirit anymore. Had you met me when I was younger, I'm sure we would have had a beautifully chaotic and disastrous romance."

     "And I would have had beautiful songs written about me, too," Vera said, clicking her tongue. "Fate is a cruel mistress."

     "Well, in any case," Tracy said, beginning to clean the counter, "I'm sure you'll find someone again with no trouble. You could have your pick, certainly."

     "That's what people keep telling me," Ville said, rolling his eyes.

     "Why don't you all go on and see how Mary's coming along with the costumes?" Tracy suggested. "If she doesn't get some outside opinions, she'll never pick anything to wear. Bethy, before you go, can you help me clean these cookie trays? They've been in the cupboard collecting dust for a while."

     "O-oh," Bethany stuttered, just barely stopping herself from looking at Ville. "Sure! No problem. I'll be right up, guys." She gave her friends an awkward wave as they filed out of the kitchen. She definitely didn't like where this was going.

     "So..." Tracy began, passing Bethany a small stack of plates. "He seems very nice."

     "He is," Bethany nodded, tearing off a handful of paper towels. "Not a stuck up rockstar type at all."

     "That's good," Tracy said, setting about filling the sink. "He also seems quite fond of you."

     "I guess so," Bethany said non-committally, dusting off the old cookie trays. "We get along well. I think he's been lonely since the band split up. They're still friends, but everyone's got their own families and stuff now. It's not like it was before."

     "I think he thinks he's found more than a friend in you," Tracy said more pointedly. "He tries to hide it, but he looks at you like you hung the moon."

     "Oh, no," Bethany laughed nervously. "Not a chance. There's no reason for him to be interested in me, Trace. He's dated models, for gods' sake."

     "You're a beautiful young woman, Bethany," Tracy argued, "and you're very intelligent and interesting to talk to. I can absolutely understand why he might have the thought. However..." She sighed and turned to face Bethany. "I hope he knows better. He's much older than you are, for one thing. He's had more life experience than you, and a very different one from anything you're likely to have. You come from completely different worlds. He strikes me as someone who falls in love too easily and maybe doesn't think things through. He likes you, and he wants to try to make you feel better after what you've been through, but I don't think he has a real plan for how to do that. Anything that could happen between the two of you would be more complicated and stressful than you really need to deal with right now. I'd hate for you to get swept up in him only to have things turn out poorly."

     "I... I don't know what to say to that," Bethany said numbly. "I appreciate your concern, Tracy, but you don't really know him."

     "Do you?" Tracy challenged. "You've known him personally for what, barely a month? Before that all you knew was his public persona, which gives you rose-tinted glasses whether you want to admit it or not. I'm sure he's aware of that, and it gives him the upper hand. For all his charm, someone doesn't manage to write songs about heartbreak for thirty years without having repeatedly made some big mistakes. I don't want to insinuate that he's taking advantage of your vulnerability, but-"

     "Then don't!" Bethany snapped, slamming the cookie trays on the counter. "I'm a grown woman, Tracy. I can take care of myself and make my own decisions. Losing Mason didn't break me irreparably somehow. It didn't turn me into a gullible child. I think I'm still a pretty good judge of character, and Ville isn't some kind of manipulative predator. He's a good man who has been extremely kind to me. He got me out of my head and back into my life. I know he isn't perfect, nobody is. That's okay. I like him for who he really is, more than I ever liked him before we met. Whatever does or does not come out of all of this, it's my choice. As much as I love and appreciate you, Tracy, what happens in my personal life is really none of your business."

     "What about Mason?" Tracy asked, looking stricken. "He's only been gone a year. How would he feel about you spending time with another man-"

     "He's dead!" Bethany shouted, positively shaking now. "He doesn't feel any sort of way about it because he's dead! What am I supposed to do, never speak to anyone again? Never have feelings again? Observe ten years of solitary mourning? No, that's fucking ridiculous, Trace. You stood here and went on about how good it is to see me happy again, and now you want to villainize the person who's making me feel that way once he's out of earshot? You want to make me feel guilty for having something to smile about? I loved Mason with everything I have, I will always love him. I miss him SO much, every single day, but he's gone and I'm still here. I still have to live my life, and whether you like it or not, I have to be able to allow other people to share that life with me. I'm only human and I don't want to be alone forever. Well done, you - you saw through our bullshit. Yes, Ville has feelings for me. Yes, I have feelings for him. I'm not sorry! I didn't want to be insensitive and wave it around in your face, but since you pushed, there it is! And if it ends in disaster and tears, well, I suppose that'll be on me, but you get no say in the matter."

     "Uh, guys?" came a voice from the doorway. Mary was looking at them, alarmed. The others stood awkwardly in the hallway behind her, Ville looking particularly mortified. "Y'all okay?"

     "No," Bethany said, her chest feeling tight. "No, I'm sorry. I gotta go. I'm so sorry, girls, I can't be here tonight. Go ahead and hold on to my makeup, you can drop it off at my place whenever. I'm sorry for screwing up your night. I should have known better." She gave the Collar sisters hugs and moved quickly down the hallway, grabbing Ville's arm and pulling him to the front door. He wordlessly grabbed their jackets and her bag as she wrenched the door open and bolted outside, eyes blurring with unshed tears.

     "Hey!" Ville said, grabbing her hand. "Hey, calm down for a second, please. What-"

     "I knew this was a terrible idea!" Bethany shouted, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes. "I fucking knew it. I'm the fucking bad guy for just trying to exist, I should be ashamed of myself, blah, blah, fucking blah. I want to go home, okay?" She looked up at him desperately, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Can we please just go home?"

     "Of course," Ville said gently, looking helpless. He pulled her into a hug and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. I didn't think we were that obvious."

     "Your big, dumb face gave it away," Bethany mumbled against his chest. "Apparently you look absolutely lovesick."

     "It's true," Vera said, appearing at Ville's side. "It's pretty gross."

     "Thanks," Ville scoffed.

     "Anytime," Vera said blithely, rubbing Bethany's back. "I told Tracy off, if it makes you feel any better, though from the sounds of it you got in enough jabs of your own."

     "I really don't want to talk about it right now," Bethany sniffled, pulling back and wincing at the sight of her face paint smeared all over the front of Ville's costume. "Ugh, sorry. I'll wash that for you..."

     "Don't worry about it," Ville said, pushing her gently toward her car. "Let's just get out of here."

     "Well, since this party is a bust, y'all are welcome to come to the Moonlight tonight if you feel like it," Vera said, wandering in the direction of her own car. "I'm gonna crash the festivities as a patron. Get my revenge, as it were."

     "Maybe," Bethany said softly, giving her friend a watery smile. "Thanks, Vee."

     "I got you, babe," Vera said, tipping her hat to them before climbing into her car and slowly backing down the driveway. Ville opened Bethany's door for her and she got inside, buckling her seatbelt and resting her head against the steering wheel. She took several deep, steadying breaths as Ville got in beside her and placed a comforting hand on her back.

     "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to-"

     "Please don't," Bethany sighed, turning her head to look at him. "It's not your fault. Don't do that thing you do. She was out of line. I'll talk about it once we're back at my place and I calm down. Okay?"

     "Okay."

     Bethany put the car in reverse and pulled out of the driveway, anxious to put distance between her and this unfortunate clash of her past and present.

Chapter Text

     Bethany towled her hair off listlessly after a long, hot shower and a lot of crying. She didn't dare look in the mirror to see how red and puffy her eyes were before leaving the bathroom to go get dressed. She threw on a pair of sweatpants and an old T-shirt and shuffled out into the hallway. When she reached the doorway to the living room, she stopped dead and finally managed to smile.

     Ville was stretched out comfortably on the couch, back in his own sweats and the black T-shirt he'd been wearing under his costume. He was facing away from her, toying absently with his hair, seeming very engrossed in her copy of The Truth About Forever. For some reason, the sight took Bethany's breath away. To see him there, looking so at home in her home, on her couch, reading a book that she loved felt like some sort of dream.

     "So, what do you think?" Bethany asked softly, coming up behind him and resting her chin on top of his head.

     "I think this girl's boyfriend is boring," he said, wrinkling his nose. "Tell me she meets someone more interesting."

     "No spoilers!" Bethany laughed, moving to sit on the edge of the couch next to him. He marked his place in the book with a scrap of paper and put it on the coffee table before pulling her to lie down beside him. He kissed her forehead gently, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

     "Are you alright?" he asked, looking at her seriously.

     "I had a good cry, I think I feel a little better," Bethany said tiredly. "I'm sorry I freaked out."

     "You don't have to apologize," Ville told her, reaching up to smooth back her hair. "I know you were really upset."

     "She acted like she knew everything about you," Bethany muttered. "She treated me like I'm an idiot, like there's no way I could possibly have good judgement where you're concerned. She said you're taking advantage of me because I'm younger than you and sad and I've been a fan of yours for years."

     "Hmm," Ville hummed, gazing unseeingly at the wall behind Bethany. "I won't say it was right of her to say that to you, but I can't blame her for thinking it. It would look that way to someone on the outside."

     "But you're not!" Bethany said irritably. "You're not taking advantage of me. I'm in my fucking thirties, and I think I have more awareness of the nature of our relationship than Tracy does!"

     "Of course," Ville said gently. "But she's known you since you were a kid. Sometimes it's hard to see people you watched grow up as adults. Christ, I still look at my brother and think, 'ah, yes, this is a twelve-year-old', and he's nearly forty."

     "Okay, fair enough," Bethany huffed. "And if that was it, that would be understandable. But she used Mason to guilt me, Ville. That's when I really lost it. She tried to hit me with that, 'what would he think of this' shit and I wasn't about to take it."

     "That is a step too far," Ville said with a wince. "I don't know, Beth. It's fucked up, but she probably feels a little betrayed on her son's behalf. Grief is a weird thing, it makes people behave irrationally. I'm sure she knows that Mason would want you to live your life however you want, but she misses him. To see you with someone else would be like losing another little piece of him. It's not right and it's not fair to you, but maybe it explains it a little."

     "That... that makes sense," Bethany mumbled, nuzzling against his neck. "How do you always understand everything so clearly?"

     "I don't," Ville laughed. "I just think too much. I've spent half my life trying to figure out why people do the shit they do. Mostly I'm guessing."

     "I think you're probably right this time," Bethany said heavily. "I should apologize."

     "I wouldn't say that," Ville replied. "You had every right to get defensive. There's an explanation for why she acted like that, but it's not an excuse. It's not like you brought me there without her expecting you were bringing a male friend. She told you to bring me, even if she didn't know exactly who I was. If she wasn't ready for the possibility of your friend being a bit more than a friend, that's on her. We didn't act like a couple in front of her, we were respectful. She could have let it go for the time being, but she didn't."

     "I guess you're right," Bethany conceded, closing her eyes. "I still feel shitty."

     "So do I," Ville murmured, rubbing her back soothingly. "I didn't want it to go like that. I wanted us to have a fun Halloween."

     "We could still go to the Moonlight," Bethany pointed out. "Watch Vera's drunken antics. That always cheers me up."

     "I'd be a little worried about getting recognized in a bar," Ville said hesitantly. "I really don't feel like dressing up again." Bethany barked out a laugh.

     "It's a redneck bar," she said, grinning at him. "You might get looks for how you normally dress, what with the lack of camouflage and all, but not because anyone will know who you are. You might get someone thinking your costume is '2000's emo kid', however."

     "I resent that," Ville scoffed. "I was the original, thank you."

     "You might have to fight Gerard Way for that title," Bethany snickered.

     "I could take him any day of the week," Ville chuckled, shaking his head. "If you want to go, we can. It would be better than sitting here being sad all night, although that is very on brand."

     "I think we should," Bethany said, perking up a bit. She got off the couch and chewed her lip thoughtfully. "I also don't feel like dressing up again, though. Maybe I'll just slap on a witch hat and call it a costume."

     "I approve," Ville smiled, grabbing the front of her shirt and pulling her down for a kiss. "Hey. You know I really do care about you, right?"

     "Yes, Ville," she said, cupping his face in her hands. "I know. That's not the part of Tracy's bullshit that got to me."

     "Promise?"

     "Cross my heart," Bethany said, kissing him again and giving his hair a playful tug. The sound he made almost made her scrap the idea of going to the bar in favor of a different sort of party, but she fought through that instinct and hurried back to her bedroom to get changed.

***

     Half an hour later they were walking back out to Bethany's car, Ville in his usual jeans, jacket and beanie (and eyeliner - "I'm going as an emo kid, remember?"), Bethany in a Wednesday Addams-esque dress and tights, complimented by a pair of Victorian style boots and a velvet witch hat perched atop her head. The hat had to come off in order for her to fit in the car, and Ville held it in his lap as they left the apartment complex and headed for the Moonlight Bar.

     "I don't know," Ville was saying, "you still look pretty dressed up to me."

     "It's not a costume if it's something I wear on the regular," Bethany argued. "That's what happens when you believe every day is Halloween."

     "Do you wear that to work?" Ville asked, raising an eyebrow.

     "Fuck no," Bethany snorted. "Doing the whole spooky goth thing at a funeral home is kind of frowned upon. I dress like I'm going to church at work. I hate it, but you gotta do what you gotta do."

     "Maybe you should open your own funeral home," Ville said thoughtfully. "Dress how you want and cater to the weirdos like us. I don't want anyone showing up to my funeral looking like they're going to church, unless it's the Church of Satan."

     "Maybe if I lived somewhere significantly cooler than here," Bethany laughed. "No one here likes fun."

     "We like fun in Finland," Ville said mildly. Bethany glanced at him sideways.

     "And what exactly are you trying to say?"

     "Maybe you'd like it there better," Ville said, tapping idly on the windowsill. "Someday. You can visit a few times first, of course. I'll take you on a grand tour."

     "I'd like that," Bethany said softly, biting her lip.

     "I'm done touring at the beginning of January," Ville said, reaching over and taking her hand. "Weather will be godawful, but it's probably best to see if you can take it right out of the gate."

     "Is this a formal invitation?" Bethany giggled, lacing her fingers with his.

     "It is," Ville nodded. "I'll buy you a plane ticket tonight."

     "You don't have t-"

     "What have I said about letting me take care of you?" Ville interrupted, feigning sternness. Bethany huffed and shook her head, grinning.

     "Fine. Tell me the dates and I'll put in for time off from work."

     "Good girl," Ville said, smirking. Bethany instantly felt her face go red, and she cleared her throat.

     "Watch it, sir," she said, pointedly keeping her eyes straight ahead. "You could get into trouble talking to me like that."

     "As if that's not my intention," Ville said, leaning over and kissing her neck. Bethany squealed and gave him a gentle shove.

     "You're going to get us into an accident!" she scolded him, turning more sharply than she needed to into the Moonlight's parking lot. Ville laughed and raised his hands apologetically.

     "Sorry, sorry," he said, and Bethany noticed  he looked a bit flushed as well. "That was dumb. I'll rein it in, I swear."

     "You'd better," Bethany teased, putting the car in park and leaning over to kiss him again, this time with more than a little tongue. Ville's hand buried itself in her hair and he pulled her closer, exhaling hard through his nose. Bethany nipped playfully at his lip and quickly drew away, getting out of the car before he could stop her. She smiled giddily at him as he got out and walked around the car, waving her hat at her.

     "I have half a mind not to give this back," he said, moving to stand in front of her and putting the hat back on her head. "It does look better on you than it would on me, though."

     "You'd knock it off on the doorframe," she said, reaching up and wiping off the lipstick she'd transferred onto his lips with her thumb. "Hmm, don't think we have to take you that far back in time."

     "Certainly not," he laughed, taking her hand and leading her toward the door. They walked inside and were immediately greeted by a tall, lanky young man with a shock of white blonde hair.

     "Frankie!" Bethany exclaimed. "They have you guarding the door tonight?"

     "And breaking up fights," Frankie grumbled, flicking his hair out of his forest green eyes. "Of which there have already been four and it's only ten o' clock. Pat needs to give me a raise."

     "Keep dreaming, bud," Bethany said sympathetically. "Ville, this is Frankie. He's the one we were talking about earlier. Frankie, this is Ville, my-"

     "Boyfriend?" Frankie finished dryly, the corner of his mouth just barely turning up into a smile. "Vera told me."

     "I am going to break her nose," Bethany said matter-of-factly. Frankie snorted and shook his head.

     "Please don't," he sighed. "I'm sick of throwing people out. Nice to meet you, Ville. I've heard your band before, good stuff."

     "Ah, thanks," Ville said shyly. "It's nice to meet you as well."

     "If anyone hassles you tonight just have Bethany shoot me a text," Frankie said quietly. "You shouldn't have a problem, people in this podunk town don't tend to have much taste, but just in case."

     "I appreciate it," Ville said, giving Frankie a pat on the shoulder. "I think we'll be alright, though. Want to point us in the direction of the Lady Motormouth?"

     "Pool table," Frankie grunted, rolling his eyes. "She's been hustling people and accumulating costume jewelry - oh, sorry, pirate swag - all night. She's so sparkly at this point that you can't miss her."

     "Thanks, Frankie," Bethany giggled, giving him a hug. He returned it with surprisingly gentleness and waved them in. Bethany took Ville's hand and led him through the dense, noisy crowd, smiling and nodding when people called her name in greeting. Finally they fought their way to the other side of the crowded room and got their first look at Vera, who was indeed dripping in cheap plastic finery, holding court at a small corner table. She looked up and grinned widely when she spotted them.

     "My crew has arrived!" she sang over the jukebox, hopping down from her chair and dashing over to hug them both. "Back from shore leave, you scalawags?"

     "Are you going to do this all night?" Ville asked. "Because if so, I absolutely need a beer, right now."

     "A tankard of the finest grog, coming right up!" Vera cackled. "No really, what do you drink? I'll hook you up. We have non-alcoholic beer too, if you'd prefer."

     "Whatever is fine," Ville shrugged. "I'll have a real one, surprise me."

     "Cool, cool," Vera said with a nod. "And your usual Blue Moon, my love?"

     "Please and thank you," Bethany smiled. They watched as Vera bobbed and weaved her way back to the bar, and Bethany looked up at Ville. "You good?"

     "Oh, yeah," Ville said, squeezing her hand reassuringly. "Just one or two, don't worry."

     "I'm not worried," Bethany said, pulling him over to an empty table and sitting down. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to drink, that's all."

     "To survive a night with the Pirate Queen?" Ville snickered. "I'm pretty sure I do." As if summoned, Vera returned with their drinks as well as a violently green cocktail for herself, batting her eyelashes at Ville.

     "Planning to spend the night with me?" she asked, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "You're right, you'll need quite a few more of these." She tapped his beer with a long, crimson fingernail. She'd gotten him the same beer as Bethany. "Sorry, by the way, I hate choosing random drinks for people so I panicked."

     "It's fine," Ville chuckled, taking a long drink. "Thanks. And no, once more I'm afraid I must disappoint you. I'm taken, as you've apparently been informing people."

     "Just Frankles!" Vera promised. "And that boy's a steel trap, don't even stress. I just told him Bethy might be stopping by and she was going to be bringing a tall, intimidating gentleman with her and to play nice. He inferred the rest without much of my help."

     "Intimidating?" Ville asked, raising his eyebrows. "Me? Really?"

     "Between being a giant and your immaculate resting bitch face, yes, intimidating," Vera said, taking the seat next to Bethany. Ville smiled and Vera rolled her eyes. "Well, right up until you do that. Now I just want to squish your cheeks."

     "Please don't," Ville said, pointing a warning finger at her. "I have an image to maintain."

     "I'd never tarnish it, sweet thing," Vera cooed. She turned her attention to Bethany. "So... you good, fam? I know today was rough."

     "I'm better now," Bethany sighed, sipping on her drink. "Went home, boiled myself alive, cried, had this one play therapist. I'm good."

     "Good," Vera said, giving her a hug. "I hate that things went that way. Mama Collar was way out of her lane. She had the decency to look ashamed of herself when I told her so, at least. Hopefully she'll cool off and come around."

     "Hopefully," Bethany agreed. "Where's Vance? Isn't he your babysitter this evening?"

     "He'll be here in a bit," Vera said with a click of her tongue. "He got into a writing fit. Rambled something about the muses and promised he'd come drag me out of here at some point before hanging up on me. Artists, am I right?" Ville snorted.

     "You know, Beth, I think your friends have been preparing you to put up with me your whole life."

     "As if it was meant to be," Bethany quipped.

     "Speaking of 'meant to be'," Vera said, glaring at them both, "I am very disappointed you didn't wear your original costumes. And just what the fuck are you supposed to be, Valo?"

     "Myself, the scariest monster there is," Ville replied, crossing his eyes at her.

     "I told him people would think he was an emo kid," Bethany giggled.

     "Same difference," Vera shrugged. "If you really wanted to go as yourself, you should have done the leather pants and fur coat."

     "Sadly those are in my other luggage," Ville said dryly.

     "The tour luggage you haven't unpacked in twenty years?" Bethany teased.

     "That'd be the one," Ville affirmed. "Should probably just burn the whole bag at this point."

     "Put it on eBay!" Vera suggested. "You know, for someone to buy. Someone. Could be anyone, but certainly not anyone sitting at this table."

     "I hate you," Bethany said, giving Vera a tired look.

     "I meant me, you sourpuss!"

     "I know, that's why I hate you."

     The trio drank and chatted for something like an hour, Vera occasionally floating away to win some more fake jewels at the pool table. Bethany wasn't great at pool herself, but as Vera's most recent mark divested herself of a gaudy faux ruby pendant, she turned to Ville with a grin.

     "Wanna play a game before she decides to hog the table again?"

     "Sure," Ville said, standing up and fishing some quarters out of his pocket. "If you're cool with losing, that is."

     "So cocky!" Bethany laughed, taking the change from his hand and flouncing over to the pool table. "What happens if I actually win?"

     "You won't," Ville smirked.

     He was right. He outshot Bethany three games in a row, much to the enjoyment of the small crowd of onlookers that had slowly amassed around them as they played. Vera had tried to give Bethany advice, but she wasn't particularly put out by losing. In fact, she was getting quite a thrill out of watching Ville's confidence, and taking note of the appreciative female attention he was getting. When she finally raised her hands in surrender, she walked easily around the table and pulled Ville down by his collar for a long, perhaps overly showy kiss.

     "I'm the real winner here," she whispered in his ear, smiling widely as she spotted a couple of young women in Powerpuff Girls costumes visibly deflate out of the corner of her eye.

     "What, you just wanted me to show off?" Ville chuckled, giving her hips a squeeze.

     "You're hot when you show off," Bethany said, taking his hand and pulling him back to their table. "And I get to take you home tonight. Ergo, I win."

     "Just how many drinks have you had?" Ville asked suspiciously. Bethany gestured to her two empties sitting on the table as she raised her half full third to her lips.

     "I'm not drunk," she giggled. "Not on beer, anyway."

     "Bethany, quit flaunting your prize," Vera huffed, joining them at the table once again. "I know we talked about how cool it would be for me to pummel some bitch for your honor today, but I'm too drunk at this point and there are some very disappointed ladies in the house after that display."

     "They can die mad about it," Bethany said, smiling smugly as she glanced around the bar. "We're probably not going to stick around much longer anyway. It's getting late as fuck."

     "It's only midnight," Ville said, checking his phone. "Where's your Halloween spirit?"

     "I do still have to drive," Bethany reminded him. "And the longer I stay here the more likely it is this one-" she pointed at Vera "-will make me do shots. Nobody wants that, least of all me."

     "Aww come on," Vera said, giving Bethany's shoulder a shake. "Vance can drive us all home. Live a little, I haven't seen you drunk in eons."

     "Nope, nuh-uh, not gonna do it," Bethany said, crossing her arms over her chest. "He's leaving tomorrow night and I'm not spending our last day together with a hangover."

     Vera was about to reply when an all too familiar song began to play over the sound system.

     Love's the funeral of hearts...

     "Vera you did not," Bethany hissed, glaring at her friend. Vera shook her head quickly.

     "Not me!" she cried. She raised an eyebrow at Ville. "You're not that full of yourself tonight, are you?"

     "Not a chance, I fucking hate listening to myself," Ville said, casting a wary glance around the bar. "Looks like I might have been spotted. We should probably make our escape."

     "Ohh, hush," Vera said, waving a hand carelessly. "It's not like you're going to get swarmed."

     "Maybe not, but I bet there will be some pictures floating around online tonight," Ville sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I'd rather keep that to a minimum. Bethany, are you good with heading home?"

     "Yeah, of course," Bethany said, beginning to feel a little guilty. "Hey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

     "Don't be sorry," Ville interrupted, standing up and offering her his hand. "We came out to have fun and we did. There's nothing to apologize for." Bethany took his hand and stood up as well, giving his fingers a soft squeeze.

     "Let me go pay our tab," she said, taking a step toward the bar.

     "Bitch, what tab?" Vera laughed. "I got you guys, don't sweat it. Go on, get out of here and have your weird, goth Halloween sex. I'll talk to y'all later." She gave them both a hug and a kiss on the cheek, shooing them toward the back door. Ordinarily Bethany would have told her off for that remark, but she had a sinking feeling the evening wasn't going to end on such a high note.

     Bethany and Ville slipped out the back unnoticed and quickly made their way to Bethany's car. Ville was still holding her hand, while his other was already bringing his vape to his lips. He looked slightly agitated, and Bethany had to fight not to try to apologize again. They got in the car in silence and Bethany tossed her witch hat into the backseat before starting the engine.

     "I'm not upset with you," Ville said quietly as he put his seatbelt on. "I need you to know that."

     "I- I know," Bethany said awkwardly, squeezing the steering wheel tightly. "Still, I shouldn't have kissed you in front of everyone like that, drawn attention to you-"

     "You have every right to kiss your boyfriend in public," Ville said, looking up at the roof of the car. "You didn't do anything wrong. I had fun with you tonight. I want us to be able to go out and be a normal couple. Maybe it was a coincidence and nobody noticed me at all. I just want you to be ready in case someone did take some sneaky pictures and they end up on the internet. It'll be sink or swim, and it's not how I wanted things, but I rarely get what I want in this situation. I'm used to it, but I don't want you to panic."

     "I'm not panicking," Bethany said, pulling out onto the road. "I told you before, I can handle it."

     "That's easy to say when you haven't dealt with it," Ville said tiredly. He reached over and put his hand on Bethany's thigh, his touch warm and gentle. "I don't want you to end up hating me."

     "I don't foresee that happening, Ville," Bethany said seriously, glancing over at him. She could see stress in every line of his body, and it made her feel awful. "Stop worrying. It's fine, I will be fine. I'll just look at it this way: if I was pleased with myself for making all those girls in the bar jealous, I should be ecstatic to make girls all over the world jealous."

     "Just... if stuff does get posted, please don't look at it," Ville sighed. "Don't read the comments, don't answer random messages about it, just ignore it. And maybe get your information off your work's site asap."

     "No problem," Bethany said with a nod. When they reached a red light, she leaned over and kissed him softly, lifting a hand to smooth her thumb over his furrowed brow. "Stop stressing. I chose this, remember? I know what it means. You're worth it to me."

     "I hope so," Ville whispered, taking her hand from his face and kissing her fingers.

     He held her hand for the rest of the drive.

Chapter Text

   The first thing Bethany did when she and Ville got back to the apartment was take off her boots with such violence that Ville actually looked startled. She tossed them aside and looked up at him.

     "What?" she laughed. "Those fuckers hurt!"

     "Women," Ville said, shaking his head as he took off his own shoes much more calmly. He hung up his jacket and turned to Bethany, immediately sweeping her up in a tight hug. Bethany giggled softly and nuzzled against his neck, closing her eyes.

     "Not that I'm complaining, but why so lovey?"

     "Because," Ville mumbled into her hair. "Just because."

     "You think I'm going to disappear, don't you?" Bethany sighed, hooking her fingers in his belt loops.

     "You might," Ville replied. "I wouldn't blame you if you did."

     "I'm going to need you to stop being so morose for like, five minutes," Bethany said, stepping back to look up at him. "At least five minutes. I'm begging you."

     "I can probably manage five minutes," Ville chuckled.

     "Good," Bethany said, standing on her tip toes to kiss his lips. "That should be enough time for me to distract you."

     "Distract me?" Ville asked, raising an eyebrow.

     "Yes," Bethany said, kissing her way down his jaw to his neck. "I'm not going to have you being all moody for the last few precious hours I get to spend with you until who knows when."

     "January," Ville reminded her, smiling softly. "Oh, I still have to order those plane tickets..."

     "Later," Bethany whispered, tugging him by the front of his jeans toward the hallway. "Right now I'm distracting you, remember?"

     "Consider me distracted," Ville laughed, allowing her to pull him into her bedroom. Bethany gave him a playful shove and he fell backwards onto her bed, knocking his beanie askew on his head. She pulled it off as she climbed on top of him and tossed it to the floor. Her fingers found their way into his hair as she kissed him again, pouring every ounce of her affection for him into the slow meeting of their tongues. Ville made a satisfied sound beneath her, his own hands coming to rest on her lower back.

     Bethany slowly broke the kiss and sat up so she could push Ville's shirt up over his chest. He got the hint and leaned up so she could pull it over his head before letting it join his hat on the floor. She immediately pushed him back down flat and kissed down his throat, her hands roaming up the flat expanse of his stomach. Ville sighed happily, his eyes slipping shut and one hand coming up to hold the back of Bethany's neck. She covered his collar bone in gentle love bites, using just enough of the edge of her teeth to make his breath hitch in his chest. Her fingers ran over his ribs, fitting just right in the spaces between, and she dragged the tip of her tongue slowly down the center of his chest before veering to the right and flicking it over the nipple surrounded by the heartagram tattoo. Ville gasped softly and his hand tightened on the back of Bethany's neck, his hips lifting up to press against hers. Taking that as encouragement, Bethany pressed the flat of her tongue against his inked skin, teasing his nipple to hardness before sucking on it gently.

     "Fucking hell, Beth," Ville groaned, his fingers moving up to lightly grip her hair.

     Bethany would have smiled if her lips weren't so busy. Instead, she sucked just a bit harder, alternating between that pressure and circling her tongue around the little bud. She brought her left thumb to his other nipple and rubbed it slowly in a matching rhythm, delighting in the way Ville shivered beneath her. His fingers scratching lightly at her scalp felt amazing, and she thought she could happily do exactly this all night, but she had bigger plans.

     When Bethany released his nipple with a slight scrape of her teeth, Ville whined and tried to pull her head back where it had been. She giggled and shook her head, coming back up to kiss his lips.

     "That's only phase one of Operation Distract Ville," she teased, taking his lower lip between her teeth and biting gently. Ville groaned and grabbed her hips, pulling her down to grind against him, letting her feel how pleased he was with her attentions.

     "But you have such a talented tongue," he said with a pout.

     "I can think of better uses for my talents," Bethany whispered in his ear, reaching between them to rub him through his jeans. He positively growled in response, and Bethany thought she'd very much like to hear that sound every night for the rest of her life.

     "I won't say I'm not thrilled at the thought," Ville said hoarsely, "but you don't have to do that. I don't want you to feel like you have to."

     "And what if I want to?" Bethany asked, already sliding further down his body, leaving hot, wet kisses all down his chest and stomach. "By my count, you're one up on me."

     "It's not a competition," Ville laughed breathlessly. "And even if it was, I'd never let you win."

     "That sounds like a challenge," Bethany said, undoing the button on his jeans.

     "No," he said, looking down at her and brushing her hair out of her eyes. "It's a promise."

     Bethany blushed at that, smiling shyly and kissing the tattoo on his lower belly in lieu of a response. Ville's eyes darkened at the sight and he moaned quietly, his head falling back to the mattress. Bethany pulled down his zipper and gently tapped his thigh, prompting him to lift up so she could ease his jeans over his hips. Once they were off she sat up on her knees, taking a moment to simply look at him. His eyes were still closed and his hair fanned out around his head on her pillows. He had one arm up over his head while the other lay at his side, fingers twitching slightly against the sheets. Bethany's eyes drifted lower, and she felt her face flush again as she got her first proper look at his cock. The previous night had been rather focused on her, and she'd only gotten glimpses of him hard and in his full glory. She'd never been one to describe a man's intimate anatomy as 'beautiful', but looking at Ville she struggled to find any other suitable word. She bit her lip, remembering how it had felt to have him inside of her, the way she had felt herself stretch to accommodate him, teetering deliciously on the edge of pleasure and pain. The way he'd been so gentle with her, and the way he lost himself in her. All she wanted was to make him lose himself in her again, but in a way that was all for him.

     "See something you like?" Ville's voice rumbled, breaking Bethany's trance. Her eyes quickly snapped up to his face, which somehow managed to look smug and vulnerable at the same time. She could see a faint blush staining his cheeks, and she wondered how someone as gorgeous as Ville could possibly feel shy or insecure.

     "I like everything," she told him, smiling and leaning down to kiss her way across his hips, feeling the head of his cock brush against her throat. Ville made a quiet, strangled noise and his hand returned to Bethany's hair, not pushing or pulling, simply holding. He bent his knees and parted his legs more, giving Bethany better access. Her lips traveled lower, dragging wetly over the crease of his thigh, and Ville chuckled weakly above her.

     "Using my own tricks against me?" he asked, tightening his grip on her hair playfully.

     "I'm a quick study," Bethany said casually, bringing one hand up to run her fingers through the nest of curls above Ville's cock. He hummed in approval, only to cut the sound off with a gasp as she gently tongued at his balls. He did put pressure on the back of her head then, just enough to encourage her, and she happily obliged, alternating between long, wet licks and gentle kisses.

     "You can be a little more daring with those," Ville said breathlessly, "if you want, I mean. But I'm not terribly delicate, if you were worried." Bethany huffed out a laugh and nodded, opening her mouth a bit more and carefully sucking at his balls, first one side and then the other. Ville groaned loudly, his hips lifting up jerkily. Bethany massaged him with her tongue, finding that slow, tight circles seemed to be his favorite, until he was writhing beneath her, his chest heaving. Believing she'd pleasantly tortured him quite enough, she dragged her tongue agonizingly slowly from his balls to finally lick a long, hot stripe up the length of his cock.

     "Fuck, fuck, yes, please," Ville panted, both of his hands running through her hair now. "Please, Beth, please..."

     Bethany hadn't realized until right that second how much she'd like hearing him beg. Filing that thought away for later, she gave him what he so desperately wanted and let the head of his cock slide between her lips. Ville whined brokenly, his feet sliding ineffectually against the mattress, and Bethany began to slowly bob her head up and down. She looked up at him, slightly disappointed to find his eyes closed, and she pulled off with a wet 'pop'.

     "What was that other trick of yours?" she asked, wrapping her fingers around his length and stroking him lazily. Ville exhaled sharply and looked down at her again.

     "I have so many, you'll have to be more specif- ahhh!" Bethany cut him off by pressing her thumb against the head of his cock, flashing him a sweet smile.

     "I was thinking of the one where you told me I had to watch you," she said, resting her cheek against his thigh. "I think I'll borrow that one, too."

     "You don't have to tell me twice," Ville said, his fingers gently stroking her face. "I'm very good at following directions."

     "I'll have to remember that," Bethany said, locking eyes with him for just a moment before closing hers and sloppily licking his cock again, all the way up one side and down the other. Ville's entire body shuddered and Bethany felt him shift above her. She looked up at him as she took him into her mouth once more, pleased to see he had propped himself up on his elbow to get a better view. His mouth hung just slightly open and his pupils were blown wide enough to almost completely obscure the green color of his eyes, and that, that was why she'd wanted him to watch. Knowing that she put that look on his face, that he was watching her with desire in his eyes, made her feel sexier than anything else in the world.

     Bethany worked him up slowly, stroking what she couldn't fit of him in her mouth with her hand, delighting in every pleasured sound she pulled from his lips. A few times she felt him begin to tense and heard his breath quicken, and she slowed way down, not ready for it to be over just yet. The third time she did it, Ville gave her hair a gentle but meaningful tug.

     "As beautiful as you are with my cock in your mouth, darling, if you don't let me cum right now I can't be held responsible for what I might do."

     Bethany moaned around him, the tone of his voice seeming to slide straight down her spine. She looked up at him through her eyelashes and picked up the pace, hollowing her cheeks and pressing her tongue firmly against him. It took only thirty seconds more for Ville to fall apart.

     "That's it, that's it, Beth I'm right there- ahh!"

     He spilled down her throat, hot and thick and just slightly bitter. Bethany hummed happily, following the instinctive movements of his hips until he fell back onto the pillows again, throwing one arm over his eyes. She pulled off of him slowly, smiling when he let out one last, sated groan and she moved up to lie down next to him, placing a hand on his heaving chest.

     "You okay?" she asked softly, resting her head on her other hand. Ville moved his arm from his eyes and turned his head to look at her, still looking a bit dazed.

     "Am I okay?" he repeated incredulously before grinning at her. "Bethany, you just gave me the best head of my life. 'Am I okay?' What a question."

     "You probably say that to every girl," Bethany joked, rolling her eyes.

     "No," Ville said, a serious edge to his voice. He covered her hand that lay on his chest with his own. "Just the ones that earn it. Which is just you. I'm pretty sure my soul left my body for a second there."

     "Thank goodness it seems to have come back," Bethany giggled, leaning over to kiss him softly. He kissed her back eagerly, his hand coming up to cup her cheek.

     "You'll be glad to know that Operation Distract Ville was a success," Ville said, pressing his forehead against hers. "There's no way I can brood after that."

     "Good," Bethany smiled. She ran her thumb gently under his eye where the makeup he'd put on earlier had begun to smear. "Wanna grab another shower with me before bed?"

     "Nothing would please me more."

Chapter Text

     buzz buzz buzz buzz

     Bethany groaned and lifted her head from her pillow, catching sight of her vibrating cell phone just as it skittered over the edge of her nightstand and onto the floor.

     "Fuck," she hissed, moving to reach over the edge of the bed. A strong arm tightened around her middle, keeping her where she was.

     "They can leave a message," Ville mumbled sleepily, pulling her close to his chest. "You're all mine today."

     "What if it's an emergency?" Bethany sighed, though she didn't fight Ville's warm embrace.

     "Probably not," he said, kissing her bare shoulder. "It's probably Vera calling to see if she can catch you before I wake up so she can grill you about the weird, goth Halloween sex we were supposed to have had last night."

     "Not a chance she's conscious yet," Bethany laughed, looking at the clock on the wall. It was only eight in the morning. "No one calls me this early."

     "Oh, go on then," Ville said, rolling onto his back and pouting. Bethany rolled her eyes and reached for her phone, only to wish she hadn't when she saw who she had a voicemail from.

     "Oh, damn," she muttered, sitting up and rubbing her forehead. Ville pushed himself upright beside her and rested his head on her shoulder to look at the screen.

     "Your dad?" he asked curiously. "What do you think he wants?"

     "Whatever it is, it's probably serious," Bethany said, chewing her lip. "He's a text guy, he doesn't call unless he has to."

     "Want me to fuck off for a minute while you see what's up?" Ville asked, beginning to push the blankets off of himself. Bethany grabbed his hand to stop him.

     "No, you're fine," she said softly, tapping the button to call her voicemail. She typed in her password and held the phone to her ear.

     "Hey honey, it's dad. I know you're probably still asleep, but this was the first chance I had to call. Listen, I got a very concerned phonecall from Tracy Collar yesterday. She said you're seeing an older man, a famous musician? She said you didn't seem to be thinking rationally, and that you got into an argument with her about it. I know I can be a bit overbearing and so you wouldn't tell me about this to avoid conflict, but if it's true I do think we need to have a conversation. I don't want to see you get hurt, Bethy. Please call me back when you have a minute. I love you, buttercup."

     Bethany could feel the heat rising in her face. She felt embarrassed, infantilized, furious. She flung her phone across the room and put her face in her hands, trying very hard not to scream.

     "Well, then," Ville said nervously. "I see I am already off on the wrong foot with your father."

     "I am going to strangle that woman," Bethany seethed between her fingers. "She misses her precious son so badly and wants to take it out on me, I'll send her for a fucking family reunion."

     "Beth," Ville said gently, putting a hand on her knee. "Easy, you don't mean-"

     "Oh, but I do!" Bethany said viciously, raising her head to look at him. "What fucking right does she have, Ville? She called my DAD! Like I'm a child who misbehaved on a playdate at her house! Like I'm a wayward teenage burnout who decided to hook up with some creep on the internet and run away from home! Why, why doesn't anybody give me any goddamn credit?! I'm thirty-two fucking years old, I have my own place, I have a good job, I'm putting myself through school, I've never done anything stupid or irresponsible in my LIFE! Why does everyone treat me like a fucking kid?!"

     "I don't know," Ville said softly, brushing Bethany's hair out of her eyes. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Look, how about I go make some coffee? Take a few minutes to calm down, then we'll figure out what to do. Okay?"

     Bethany was still shaking with rage, but she took a deep, steadying breath and nodded. "Okay. Okay. Thank you."

     "Of course," Ville said, kissing her softly and getting out of bed. Bethany smiled a little, seeing that he was still naked. They'd decided to forego clothes after their shower the night before.

     "Nice butt," she teased as he opened the bedroom door. He gave her a look over his shoulder before disappearing into the hallway. Bethany sighed and fell back onto her pillow, squeezing her eyes shut tight. She could feel a headache forming behind her eyes. Why? she thought irritably, pulling the blankets over her head. Why today, of all days?

     Allowing herself only a few more minutes of internal grumbling, Bethany rolled out of bed and got dressed in a pair of jeans and a warm, chunky black sweater. She tugged on a pair of fuzzy pink socks and and retrieved her phone from the floor before she shuffled out to the kitchen where Ville already had a cup of coffee in his hand for her.

     "I think I remembered how you made yours yesterday," he said, holding it out to her. Bethany was more than a little disappointed to see that he'd also put clothes on, although he did look adorable in that cardigan. She took the mug from him and drank deeply, smiling genuinely when she realized he'd made it just right.

     "Ten good boy points to you," she said, leaning heavily against the fridge. Ville winked at her and drank his own coffee, looking down at his phone.

     "A bit of good news," he said, scrolling slowly. "It doesn't look like the heartagram-covered corners of the internet are buzzing about any Valo sightings, so I think we're in the clear for last night."

     "Thank every third available god," Bethany muttered. "Imagine how much worse this conversation with my dad would be if I was also the topic of internet gossip."

     "Might still want to give him a call sooner rather than later, just in case," Ville said, sliding his phone into his pocket. "And definitely get a hold of whoever runs the funeral home website and get scrubbed off there, too."

     "Yes, mother," Bethany mumbled, looking moodily out the window. It was too bright and sunshiney for how she was currently feeling.

     "I'm not mothering you," Ville said quietly. "This is partner concern, not parent concern. I'm not trying to treat you like a child."

     "I know," Bethany said tiredly, turning to look at him. "I know, Ville. Sorry, I'm all worked up right now."

     "It's alright," Ville said, putting his coffee on the counter and moving across the kitchen to give her a kiss. Bethany relaxed against him, kissing him back tenderly. When they broke apart she pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened her contacts, clicking reluctantly on her dad's name.

     "Guess I'll rip the band-aid off," she said glancing around the kitchen for her vape and not seeing it anywhere. Ville reached into his cardigan pocket and pulled out his, offering it to her with a reassuring smile. Bethany took it thankfully and headed into the living room, opening the door to the balcony. She gestured outside, inviting Ville to join her, but he shook his head.

     "Nah, have your conversation in private," he said, curling up on the couch and grabbing Bethany's old book. "I have reading to do, anyway."

     "I can't believe you're actually still reading that," Bethany chuckled.

     "I'm invested now," Ville shrugged, opening the book to where he'd left off. "Go on, get it overwith. I'll be here."

     Bethany nodded and stepped outside, sliding the door shut behind her. It was surprisingly warm for the first day of November and even though she wasn't in a great mood, the sun felt nice on her skin. She sat down and took another long sip of her coffee followed by a lungful of nicotine, and finally pressed the call button. After several rings, her father picked up.

     "Bethy!" Carson Phillips said jovially. Perhaps a little too jovially. "You called sooner than I expected. I hope I didn't wake you."

     "It's alright, dad," Bethany said softly. "I needed to get up anyway."

     "Ah, that's good then," Carson said. Bethany could hear him shuffling papers in the background. "I was just sorting through some accounts for some of our realtors. I could use a break. So... About this man Tracy mentioned..."

     "Yeah," Bethany sighed, chewing her bottom lip. "I am seeing someone. He is a musician, and he is older than me. That's all true. But dad, Tracy doesn't have a clue what's going on with me, or with me and him. She made a snap judgement yesterday and it rubbed me the wrong way and we fought about it. She tried to guilt me about Mason, dad. She was way out of line-"

     "Okay, okay, slow down," Carson said, laughing quietly. "I'm not trying to attack you, honey. I know how Tracy is, especially since Mason passed away. That's why I wanted to talk to you, to get the whole story. Now, what's this gentleman's name?"

     "Ville," Bethany said nervously. "And if that sounds familiar, it's because I listened to his old band all the time growing up. We met when he was in the city performing on his solo tour."

     "Huh..." Carson said thoughtfully. "Was he the one with the big arm tattoo and all the makeup?"

     "That really doesn't narrow it down," Bethany said, grinning despite herself. "But yeah, you're probably thinking of the right one."

     "I see. And how old is he?"

     "This is the part where I remind you that I am as much of an adult as he is," Bethany said, trying to hide her annoyance. "He's turning forty-seven at the end of the month."

     "Oh, goodness," Carson said, and Bethany could practically see him frowning. "That is quite a gap, Bethy."

     "It doesn't matter," Bethany huffed. "He's a good man, dad. He's kind and considerate, he treats me well, he's funny and smart and he makes me feel safe. The more I've gotten to know him, the more I've come to like him, the real him. This isn't me being starstruck."

     "Are you in love?" Carson asked bluntly. Bethany blinked. That wasn't a word that had yet been uttered between her and Ville. They'd said they liked one another, that they cared for one another, but never anything about love.

     "We've only known each other for a month," she said slowly, puffing anxiously on the vape pen again. "We're happy right now, I know that."

     "That's good," Carson said, though he still sounded hesitant. "He's still touring, then? Have you spent any time with him in person besides the night you met?"

     "He's, uh... He's been at my place since Friday morning," Bethany admitted, glancing over her shoulder to look at Ville through the glass door, finding him still reading on her couch. "He had some time off and wanted to come see me."

     "He's there now?" Carson asked, sounding surprised.

     "Yeah, he's inside, I stepped out on the balcony to call you," Bethany explained. "He didn't want to intrude on our conversation. See? Considerate."

     "Have the two of you slept together?"

     "Dad!" Bethany gasped, blushing furiously.

     "Look, I know how rockstars behave and I don't want you to end up catching someth-"

     "He's not like that!" Bethany hissed, trying not to raise her voice. "He's not a sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll kind of guy. Not anymore, anyway. He hasn't been for a long time. I trust him. Can that please be good enough, on this particular subject? Please?"

     "So that's a yes," Carson said pointedly.

     "With all due respect, it really isn't any of your business," Bethany said, her anger beginning to rekindle. "I'm a grown woman, dad. Who I do or do not have sex with is no one's concern but mine."

     "Alright, alright," Carson sighed. "I hope you're being safe, at the very least, but I'll drop it. So he's on tour now. Where does he live when that's over?"

     "Finland," Bethany mumbled, pinching the bridge of her nose. And here... we... go.

     "Finland," Carson repeated after a long pause. "Scandinavia, lots of snow. That Finland?"

     "That would be the one."

     "Bethany," Carson groaned. "Honey, how exactly are you planning on making this work? That's an ocean away. And once you finish school and become a full time funeral director you're going to be so busy, just like he no doubt is incredibly busy-"

     "Phones do exist," Bethany argued. "The internet exists. We can visit each other when we have time. It's not a big deal, we can handle it."

     "For how long?" Carson challenged. "How long will a long-distance relationship be enough for both of you? He's getting older. Does he want kids? If he does, he'll probably want that to happen fairly soon. Would you relocate to a whole other country for this man?"

     "Dad, you're putting the cart way, way in front of the horse!" Bethany exclaimed, feeling overwhelmed. "Yes, we like each other and we're having fun, but none of this has even been discussed in any real way. We're playing this by ear right now. If those bridges need to be crossed, we'll cross them when we come to them. For right now, please know that I'm happier than I've been in a long time, I'm okay, and I have someone who cares about me very much. Alright?" There was a long silence.

     "Alright," Carson said finally. "Alright, Bethy. I trust you. I'm sorry. I know you're not a little girl anymore and you can make your own choices. I just never want to see you like you were when Mason died ever again. I don't want you to get your heart broken."

     "Being alive puts you at risk for heartbreak, no matter what you do," Bethany said gently. "You know that as well as anybody. But if you don't take advantage of the good parts of life just to avoid the bad, you're not really living at all. And I can't remember ever feeling more alive than I do right now."

     "That's good enough for me," Carson said. Bethany could hear the smile in his voice. "When is Ville leaving?"

     "His flight leaves at ten tonight," Bethany said sadly. "He has to go back to South Carolina to meet back up with his band and get back on the road."

     "That's a shame," Carson sighed. "I have a business dinner tonight. I would have liked to meet him. Next time, I suppose."

     "Yeah," Bethany smiled. "Next time."

***

     Ville looked up expectantly at Bethany as she came back inside the apartment, closing the door behind her with a click.

     "How'd it go?"

     "Better than I expected," Bethany said, sitting beside him on the couch and resting her head on his shoulder. "He was a little obnoxious, but I was able to get him to back down. He's happy that I'm happy."

     "Oh, good," Ville said, looking relieved. "I was a little worried I'd have a shotgun pointed at me within the hour."

     "Fear not," Bethany laughed, kissing his cheek. "I think my dad will like you when he finally gets to meet you."

     "Not happening today, I take it?"

     "No, he has plans tonight," Bethany replied. "He owns a realty company, so he works a lot. There's some kind of business dinner he has to be at tonight. He said he'll catch you next time, though."

     "How did he feel about me shacking up with you this weekend?" Ville said with a grin. Bethany made a face at him.

     "How do you think? He seriously asked if we slept together. I wanted to die."

     "What did you say?" Ville asked, laughing.

     "I told him it was none of his business!" Bethany exclaimed. "I'm not discussing my sex life with my dad!"

     "No?" Ville said, a mirthful glint in his eye. "Well, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Most people's dads don't run sex shops for a living..."

     "You're saying you discuss your sex life with your dad?" Bethany asked, raising her eyebrows.

     "Sometimes," Ville shrugged. "But then, the relationship between fathers and sons is a little different from the one between fathers and daughters. Thank god I don't have any sisters, I don't think Dad could cope."

     "Are you going to tell your dad about what goes on with you and me?" Bethany asked, shifting uncomfortably.

     "No, no," Ville assured her, wrapping an arm around her. "What happens between us stays between us. I promise."

     "I do too," Bethany said. "Vera tries to pry it out of me but I swear I haven't told her anything. That would be shitty."

     "She must be heartbroken," Ville snorted. "You could tell her, if you wanted. I wouldn't be upset. As long as you only said very, very flattering things about me, that is. Feel free to get generous with your measurements..."

     "Egotistical dickhead," Bethany teased, pinching his side. He yelped and grabbed her arms, pushing her onto her back. Bethany giggled and struggled against him half-heartedly, only to moan when Ville's teeth found her neck and bit down gently.

     "I could give you a good story to tell her right now," Ville purred, licking the bite mark he'd given her.

     "You could," Bethany said breathlessly, tangling her fingers in his hair, "but I still wouldn't share it with her. I like keeping our stories all to myself."

     "Mmm," Ville hummed against her throat, scraping his teeth over her sensitive skin again. "If I write the story on your skin, you won't have much of a choice..."

     "No visible hickies!" Bethany squeaked as he started sucking on her neck. "I have to work tomorrow!"

     "You have makeup," Ville mumbled, not relenting. Bethany giggled, deciding that, fuck it, that felt really good. She scratched her nails down the back of Ville's neck and he groaned quietly, pressing his hips down against hers and rocking slowly. Bethany spread her legs, letting Ville fit himself more comfortably against her as he continued alternating between biting and sucking at her neck. They ground shamelessly against each other like a pair of teenagers and Ville's left hand found its way under Bethany's shirt to palm her breast over her bra, making her whimper desperately.

     "Ville," she whispered, arching her back into his touch. "Ville, please..."

     "Please what?" Ville asked, finally pulling off of her throat and smirking at his handiwork.

     "I need you," Bethany whined, pulling him down for a hot, open mouthed kiss. His tongue seemed to be everywhere in her mouth at once, and it made her feel dizzy. He caught her bottom lip in his teeth and pulled back slowly, letting her free a centimeter at a time.

     "You need me to do... what?" he teased, rolling his hips into hers slow and hard. Bethany threw her head back against the couch cushions and squeezed her eyes shut tight.

     "Whatever you want," she said, scratching her nails down his arms. "Anything, I just want you, right now."

     "Giving me that much freedom is unwise," Ville laughed softly, dragging his tongue over the shell of her ear. "What if I just want to go back to reading?"

     "You don't," Bethany said, reaching down between them and squeezing him gently through his jeans. Ville sighed softly and nipped at her ear, bucking into her hand.

     "Maybe I just really like books?" he tried again, grinning. Bethany snorted and popped open the button of his pants.

     "There's no smut in that book," she told him, pulling down his zipper and sliding her hand inside to slowly stroke his cock. "There's smut in the making right here, though. If we're still writing stories."

     "Fuck," Ville hissed through gritted teeth, the arm that was holding him up shaking slightly. "Wait, hey, you said no spoilers!"

     "Would you shut up?" Bethany laughed, capturing his lips in another kiss as she pushed his jeans down his narrow hips. She hastily undid her own pants, shimmying them off awkwardly along with her underwear and kicking them to the end of the couch. She wrapped her legs around Ville's waist and pulled him down closer, trailing her lips down to his neck and biting down quite a bit harder than he had bitten her. That earned her that same divine growl she'd fallen in love with the previous night, and with one well aimed roll of his hips, Ville was inside her as deep as he could go. Bethany moaned loudly into Ville's neck, his skin still caught between her teeth, as she relished the feeling of fullness. She suckled tenderly at the mark she'd given him, breathing slowly and deeply through her nose.

     "Beth, shit, I'm sorry," Ville whispered, holding very still. "I didn't mean to do that so hard, I-"

     "Well, I did," Bethany said, pressing her heels into the small of his back. "Now please, shut up and fuck me."

     Ville laughed breathlessly and shook his head, kissing Bethany's forehead softly. He started gently, almost too gently for Bethany's liking, the slide of him within her almost teasing. She felt hypersensitive, and every slow thrust was simultaneously too much and not enough. She lifted her hips to meet his with every push forward, and Ville dropped his head to kiss her neck over and over again, every muscle in his body tense. He picked up the pace then, his quiet moans muffled against Bethany's skin, and Bethany's fingers found their way into his hair as they always seemed to do, wrapping around the strands and pulling just hard enough to make him gasp. He thrust into her harder, faster, scraping his nails against her ribs beneath her shirt. Finally his hips stuttered against her and he groaned low and deep in his chest, pushing into her deep and slow a few more times before coming to a stop.

     "Not fair," Ville panted, lifting himself up to look at her, "you're one up on me, now."

     "I thought it wasn't a competition," Bethany said, a grin spreading across her face. She kissed him sweetly and brushed his hair out of his face. "You act like I didn't have any fun."

     "You had fun in all of what, five minutes?" Ville laughed, laying his head on her chest. "I'd go so far as to say I'm embarrassed."

     "Hush," Bethany scolded, giving him a swat on the butt. "I take it as a compliment."

     "Fine," Ville snorted, carefully climbing off of her and standing up to fix his clothes. "You know, it's been a long time since I've done that. Fooled around on a couch, given someone an obnoxious hickey, had sex with my clothes still on and all that."

     "How obnoxious is it?" Bethany groaned, pulling her own clothes back on. She went over to the mirror and gasped. The bruise on her neck was indeed obnoxious, dark red and it looked suspiciously like the letter 'V'. "You goddamn narcissist!"

     "What?" Ville asked innocently. He came to stand behind her, laughing when she pointed to the mark. "Well, it was meant to be a heart, but if you want to take it as a signature I suppose that works for me. You did a real number on me too, so I think we're even." He turned his head and rubbed at the bite mark on his neck.

     "Sorry about that," Bethany said, blushing. "I did get a little carried away. Does it hurt?"

     "Nah," Ville said, giving her a mischievous look. "And I don't think I'll cover it with makeup, either. I don't have to look professional at work."

     "Have fun with that," Bethany giggled, turning around and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Watch every woman in the crowd at your next show turn green with envy."

     "And the whole time I'll only be thinking of you," Ville said softly, kissing the top of her head. They stood there quietly for a long time, hugging and gently swaying to unheard music, and Bethany smiled contentedly. She wanted to stay there forever in that soft, quiet moment, wanted to make her home there and never leave. I love him, she realized, tears inexplicably coming to her eyes. I'm in love with him. She sniffled, and Ville quickly pulled back to look at her.

     "Beth, what's wrong?" he asked, looking alarmed. "What did I do?"

     "Nothing!" Bethany laughed shakily, wiping her eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong, you're perfect. That's why I'm crying."

     "Seems like a strange reason to cry," Ville said, tilting his head.

     "I love you," Bethany whispered, looking up into his eyes. Her heart hammered in her chest as he blinked a few times, looking a bit stunned. Then he smiled, big and bright and just a little relieved.

     "I love you, too," he said, taking her face in his hands and kissing her tenderly. "So much. So fucking much." He hugged her tightly and Bethany could hear his heartbeat, thudding just as fast as her own.

***

     A few hours and one good snuggle session later, Bethany and Ville were walking hand in hand through the center of town. It was still unseasonably warm, and Bethany had declared that they weren't about to stay cooped up inside all day. They wandered in and out of a few of the kitschy little shops and boutiques that inhabited the old Victorian buildings along the main street until Ville all but dragged her into a tiny, dusty used book shop just as she'd known he would.

     The bell above the door jingled merrily as they stepped inside, and the elderly shopkeeper, Mr. Hanson, smiled at them from behind the counter.

     "Hi, Bethany!" he said, giving her a wave. "And friend of Bethany. What can I do for you two today?"

     "The fact that this place exists at all is all this one could ask for," Bethany said, gesturing to Ville with a grin. He nodded enthusiastically.

     "This is better than a candy store," Ville said, already eyeing up shelves further into the shop.

     "Well, go on then," Mr. Hanson said with a sweeping gesture. "Knock yourself out!"

     Ville gave Bethany a quick kiss on the cheek before scurrying off, and Bethany giggled quietly. She glanced sideways at Mr. Hanson, who was watching her with a twinkle in his eye beneath his bushy white brows.

     "I'll let him have his fun," she said, leaning against the counter. "I still haven't finished the last stack of books I hauled out of here, so I won't even tempt myself today."

     "Fair enough," Mr. Hanson chuckled, straightening a display of bookmarks near the register. "So... Boyfriend?"

     "Yes," Bethany said softly, fiddling with the end of the scarf she'd donned to hide the evidence of Ville's passionate affections. "His name's Ville. We started seeing each other recently."

     "I can tell," Mr. Hanson teased. "You look at each other all cow eyed. I remember when Rose and I first got together. It was very much like that."

     "You two still look at each other all cow eyed," Bethany grinned. "I saw you dancing together at the Christmas festival last year.  It was the most adorable thing I've ever seen."

     "And I hope that you can enjoy the same sort of love," Mr. Hanson said, putting a gentle hand on top of Bethany's, "for even longer than Rosie and I. You deserve it."
    
     "Thanks, Mr. H," Bethany said, giving the old man a smile. "I'd better go keep an eye on him. He'll leave here with more books than he can fit in his luggage if left to his own devices."

     Mr. Hanson laughed and nodded, turning to organize some books behind the counter. Bethany headed further inside, peeking down the aisles of shelves until she spotted Ville flipping through a book near the end of the horror section. She snuck up behind him and slid her arms around his waist, slightly disappointed that he didn't jump.

     "I have excellent hearing," he said, closing the book and turning to look at her. "You have to try much harder to startle me."

     "Doesn't help that it's quiet as the grave in here," Bethany said, pouting. "Find anything?"

     "I've found lots of things," Ville sighed, glancing longingly at the stacks of books. "I can't take nearly as many as I'd like in my carry on, sadly."

     "You could keep some at my place," Bethany shrugged, taking the book from his hand. It was an old edition of a Stephen King collection, still in remarkably good condition. "You gonna tell me you don't already own this one?"

     "Not with that cover art," Ville grinned. "I have a problem. Sue me."

     "Go ahead and pick out whatever you want," Bethany giggled, holding the book close to her chest. "I'll clear some shelf space at home, just for you. It's not like you won't be coming back."

     "Thank you," Ville smiled, kissing the top of her head. They made their way through the entire shop, Ville managing to accumulate an armload of titles from seemingly every genre, before they arrived at the young adult section. Ville made a beeline for the shelf containing Sarah Dessen's books, and Bethany laughed.

     "Becoming a fan?" she asked, peeking around him.

     "Don't tell anyone," Ville whispered, pulling a book from the shelf. "Any good?" He showed her the cover and Bethany grinned.

     "Just Listen? Very good. I think you'll like that one."

     Ville smiled and handed it to her, as he was running out of room to carry any more. "We should probably get out of here before we have to locate a wagon to get everything back to your apartment."

     They made their way back to the front of the store, heaving Ville's books onto the counter with a thud. Mr Hanson looked at them in surprise.

     "Decided to just buy another suitcase?" he asked Ville, who laughed happily.

     "No, we've agreed to share custody of my library," he said, pulling out his wallet. "These will stay at Bethany's place for now."

     Mr. Hanson rang up Ville's haul, refusing to back down from giving him a discount ("for keeping such lovely company"), and handed them the bags, wishing them a good day as they stepped back outside.

     "Happy?" Bethany asked, bumping her shoulder against Ville's as they walked.

     "Extremely," Ville said, smiling. "Where to next? I'm getting seriously hungry, if that's helpful."

     "Figured you'd say that," Bethany said with a nod. "To Aunt Chrissy's, then!"

     "Aunt Chrissy's?" Ville asked, furrowing his brow. "I'm meeting your family after all?"

     "Not my real aunt," Bethany laughed. "More like everyone's aunt. Come on, you'll see."

     They turned a corner and Bethany pointed to the diner, pulling Ville inside. The place was packed for lunchtime, but Bethany immediately spotted Chrissy's fiery mane behind the counter. She caught her eye and gave her a wave, prompting the woman to quickly finish up what she was doing and make her way over.

     "Bethy!" she trilled, pulling her into a tight hug. Then she turned to Ville and smiled brightly. "And Ville, I'm guessing?"

     "The one and only," Ville chuckled, scuffing his shoe against the floor awkwardly. Chrissy was on him in an instant, giving him a hug with even more intensity than Bethany's. Ville looked startled for a moment, then he relaxed and tried to return the hug despite all the books he was carrying.

     "It's lovely to meet you, honey," Chrissy said, stepping back and beaming up at him. "Come on, there's an empty booth in the back. You guys came at the perfect time."

     She led them to their seats and handed them menus before taking their drink orders. Ville asked for a black coffee, predictably, and Bethany ordered a Coke. Chrissy headed off to get the drinks, leaving them to grin at each other.

     "See?" Bethany said, leaning back in her seat. "She's everyone's Aunt Chrissy. Even yours, now. Welcome to the family."

     "She reminds me of my mum," he said, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Right down to the hair. That's wild."

     "Chrissy's one of my favorite people on this earth," Bethany said, flipping idly through the menu in front of her. "She sort of filled the void my mom left in my life when I was growing up. She's been privy to more of my teen angst than most. She needs a medal."

     "It seems like a lot of people around here really love you," Ville said quietly, his face unreadable.

     "I guess," Bethany shrugged. "Like I told you before, I've lived here my whole life, and my whole life has had some rough patches. Small town, people talk, everyone knows everything." She sighed, looking around the restaurant. Just about everyone had an at least vaguely familiar face. "At least my experience with that has been mostly positive. Only the real assholes spread nasty gossip."

     "Would you ever want to leave?" Ville asked, looking down at his hands. Bethany looked up sharply, considering it. She had thought about moving before, like any young person with her upbringing. Leaving all the things she found boring behind and starting over somewhere bigger, brighter, more exciting. And yet the thought still came with a twinge of sadness. Her friends were here, the people who had looked out for her all her life were here. Her dad was here. Imagining leaving them behind made her heart hurt. She chewed her lip, realizing she'd disappeared into her own thoughts for quite some time, and she looked at Ville again to find he was watching her carefully, that same unreadable expression on his face.

     "I would," she said slowly, reaching over and taking his hand, spinning one of his rings with her fingers. "For the right reasons."

     "Even to move to another country?" he asked, keeping his eyes locked on hers. Bethany smiled softly and tightened her grip on his hand.

     "We'll have to wait and see, won't we?"

     At that moment, Chrissy reappeared with their drinks, looking frazzled.

     "Sorry that took a bit," she said, pulling out her pen and notepad. "It's actual chaos in here today. Did you two decide what you're having?"

     "Relax, Chris," Bethany giggled. "You know I'm not going to leave you a bitchy review any time soon. Um... Gonna be honest, nothing in this world sounds better than a regular cheeseburger and fries right now."

     "I can do that!" Chrissy said cheerily, scribbling on her notepad. "What about you, Ville?"

     "Would it be too much to hope you have veggie burgers?" Ville asked. Chrissy laughed and shook her head.

     "We're backwoods around here, but not too backwoods," she said as she finished adding his order. "I'm going to guess no cheese on that?"

     "If you don't mind," Ville said, giving her a smile. "Thanks."

     Chrissy hurried off back to the kitchen and Ville sighed quietly, shrugging his jacket off and laying it neatly beside him.

     "Don't you dare get mopey on me again," Bethany warned, giving him a gentle kick under the table.

     "I'm not, I'm not," Ville said, raising his hands in surrender. "I just... I don't want to drag you away from your home someday, if you're not ready or you just don't want to go."

     "Bold of you to assume you could drag me anywhere I didn't want to go," Bethany laughed, rolling her eyes. "I'm not ready like, today. Obviously. I still have things to do here and people who need me. But someday, if we haven't come to absolutely loathe each other or anything, I think I could be persuaded."

     "I don't think I could ever come to loathe you," Ville said, resting his chin on his hand.

     "You've only had to put up with me for three days," Bethany pointed out. "Maybe we'll have a two month trial run of living together sometime and you won't be able to stand me."

     "Doubt it," Ville grinned, taking her hand and kissing her fingertips softly. "You may get sick of me, though. That's okay, just banish me to my studio when I get annoying. It'll work itself out."

     "Have you been banished to your studio a lot in the past?" Bethany asked, giggling.

     "More times than I can count," Ville affirmed. "I'm a lot when I get all manic. Lots of pacing and talking to myself. You get used to it somewhat, but even I would probably throttle me at some point."

     "And where will I get banished to when I get all depressed and weepy and sit in a corner listening to your music?" Bethany asked, only half-joking.

     "You'll be banished to wherever I happen to be, and I'll grab a guitar and sing to you," Ville said, the corner of his lips turning upwards.

     "Stop," Bethany laughed, blinking back the tears that took her by surprise yet again. "You're too much."

     "I will not, and I am not," Ville said, and the look on his face was so adoring and dopey that Bethany had to look away, hiding her smile behind her hand. "You love me."

     "I love you," she said softly, her eyes flicking back to his face, "you idiot."

***

     Hours later they were back at the apartment, curled up together on the couch once again. They'd decided to spend the rest of their day watching The Lord of the Rings and were partway through The Two Towers. Ville lay with his head on the arm rest and Bethany was almost completely on top of him, her head laid comfortably on his chest. Ville was slowly stroking her hair with one hand, the other wrapped around her waist, holding her close. They were warm and cozy under Bethany's favorite fuzzy, oversized blanket, and Bethany could feel her eyes growing heavy.

     "Not falling asleep, are you?" Ville murmured, nuzzling into her hair. "I have to leave in a few hours. Sure you want to spend that time napping?"

     "I'm trying not to," Bethany groaned, rubbing her eyes. "It's your fault, you're very comfy to lay on."

     "Really?" Ville snorted. "I've been told it's like trying to snuggle with a pile of remotes under a blanket. I'm very bony."

     "Maybe I'm into that," Bethany said, trying to stifle a yawn. Ville chuckled and pulled the blanket up higher so it was just under Bethany's chin.

     "A nap might not be such a bad use of our time," he said, fishing his phone out of his back pocket with some difficulty. Bethany watched as he set an alarm for 7 PM. "There, that'll give us two hours of shut eye, give or take."

     "Sounds good," Bethany mumbled, hugging Ville tightly and closing her eyes. She heard him set the phone down on the coffee table and smiled when he hugged her back, tangling his legs with hers. With her ear against his chest, she could hear his steady heartbeat and each of his slightly wheezing breaths, and she tried desperately to commit the sound to memory. She breathed in his scent, took note of the way the weight of his arms felt around her, fighting to ignore the ache in her chest that grew with every minute that passed. She didn't want him to go.

     "I can hear you thinking," Ville said quietly, his hand coming back to resume playing with her hair.

     "No you can't," Bethany laughed, cuddling closer to him.

     "Can too," Ville argued. "I told you I have great hearing. What's bothering you?"

     "I'm going to miss you," Bethany whispered, her closed eyes burning. Ville sighed and Bethany could feel him nod his head.

     "I'm going to miss you, too. But we'll still talk every day. We did just fine before this weekend, we'll be okay."

     "I know," Bethany said, running her hand slowly up and down his arm. "Still. I wish we could stay like this forever."

     "Someday we will," Ville said, his hand moving to tilt her chin up so he could give her a kiss. "Someday we'll never have to say goodbye again."

     "Can I ask you a weird question?" Bethany said, opening her eyes again.

     "You can ask me anything," Ville said, shifting so they could look at each other properly.

     "It's just... Something my dad said today won't get out of my head," Bethany said nervously. "Ville, do you... do you want to have kids?" Ville's eyes widened slightly and he blew out a long, slow breath.

     "Fuck," he laughed softly, scratching his head. "I guess I don't really know. I did, for a long time. I thought it would happen, eventually. But then every relationship I was in fell apart, one after another. Years went by... Now I'm worried I might be too old to be a dad. I feel like the window of opportunity has passed."

     "But do you still want to be a dad?" Bethany asked seriously.

     "I do," Ville said slowly. "But that's selfishness talking. Realistically speaking, any kids I have wouldn't have as much time with me as they'd deserve. Add to that the fact that the fucking planet is dying and society seems to be flirting with collapse everywhere you look... I don't know. It doesn't seem fair to those hypothetical children. Does that make sense?"

     "Yeah," Bethany said softly. "It does."

     "What about you?" Ville asked, taking Bethany's hand and lacing their fingers together. "Do you ever think about having kids?"

     "Did you know I only have a few years left before I'd be categorized as a 'geriatric pregnancy'?" she said, laughing mirthlessly. "I think it's after like thirty-five. What a rude fucking term. Geriatric! Like I'm a hunchbacked old biddy with a perm."

     "Seriously?" Ville asked, raising an eyebrow.

     "Yeah," Bethany sighed, rolling her eyes. "It's because after a certain age the risk of birth defects and stuff goes up. So you have to go to special doctors and you're considered higher risk. It's a whole thing. I thought about becoming a midwife for a hot minute, before deciding hanging out with dead people sounded more fun."

     "Talk about a 180," Ville laughed.

     "I'm indecisive, what can I say," Bethany grinned. Then she sighed heavily. "I also used to think I wanted kids. Mason and I... We wanted kids. We planned on it, after we got married, which was probably going to happen pretty soon. Life had other plans, clearly."

     "You don't want them anymore?" Ville asked gently, tilting his head.

     "I don't know," Bethany shrugged. "I'm right there with you on the whole 'this world is doomed' thing. Seems shitty to bring new life here without its consent if they don't really have a future to look forward to. I was already starting to feel a little iffy about it a few years ago. Like, sure, I'd love to have the experience of being pregnant, having a little person that's half me and half the person I love. But like you said, that's selfishness. There are more reasons not to do it now than reasons to do it."

     "What about adoption?" Ville asked, his free hand returning to Bethany's hair, twirling a lock of it between his fingers.

     "Maybe," Bethany whispered, leaning in and kissing him softly. "Probably a discussion for another day though, huh?"

     "Mm, probably," Ville agreed, pressing his forehead against hers. "I don't mind talking about it now, though. With you."

     "I'm glad," Bethany smiled, nuzzling against his neck and closing her eyes again. Ville yawned quietly and closed his eyes too, and within minutes they had both drifted off to sleep.

***

     The drive to the city was very quiet. Bethany didn't trust her voice enough to try to talk, as she could feel the lump already forming in her throat. Ville looked deep in thought in the passenger seat next to her, but he didn't seem able to break the silence either. They held each other's hands tightly, both occasionally bringing the other's knuckles to their lips for a kiss.

     Once they were inside the busy airport, Bethany's heart was beating painfully fast. Only minutes left now. Ville stopped at the front desk and made sure his ticket was all in order, then made his way back over to her. He took her hands and squeezed them tightly, leaning down to kiss her, slow and sweet.

     "Time for me to go," he sighed, pulling her close against his chest.

     "Yeah," Bethany whispered, hugging him as hard as she could. "Thank you for coming to see me, Ville. I had an amazing time."

     "Me too," Ville said, kissing the top of her head. Bethany could hear him inhaling deeply, breathing her in, just as she was doing to him. "Now cheer up. We'll see each other again very soon. January isn't that far off. You got the email with your tickets, right?"

     "I did," she said, pulling back a little and looking up at him sharply. "You did not have to buy me first class tickets, mister."

     "Only the best for my girl," Ville grinned, kissing her forehead. "You're no good to me all cranky after a trip that long crammed into coach. You'll thank me later."

     "I'm sure I will," Bethany admitted. "You have my book, right?"

     "Of course," Ville smiled. "I need something to occupy my time tonight. And I have something for you, too." He released her from his arms and pulled off one of his large silver rings. "Think this will fit on any of your fingers?"

     "Oh, Ville, I can't take that!" Bethany gasped, eyes wide.

     "Sure you can," Ville said, grabbing her left hand and looking between it and the ring thoughtfully. "Hmm... Might work on your thumb." He tried it, and grinned at her when it fit perfectly.

     "I don't know what to say," Bethany said quietly, looking down at the ring. It was old, she knew that. It was scuffed and scratched, its edges worn away in places from years of frequent wear. But it was his. And now it was hers. It was beautiful.

     "That's okay, I do," Ville said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and tilting her face upward. "I love you."

     "I love you too," Bethany said, her view of Ville's face blurring with tears. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard, making sure this one counted. He returned the kiss with equal fervor, placing a bracing hand on the small of her back as he bent her slightly backwards. Bethany giggled softly against his lips and he slowly took a step back, letting her go. He shifted his backpack on his shoulder and gave her a little wave.

     "See you soon, sweetheart. I'll call you when I land."

     "You'd better," Bethany said, smiling sadly. Ville winked at her and headed for the security line, and Bethany stood there watching until she lost sight of him. She hugged herself tightly and took a deep, shaky breath before turning around and heading back to the parking lot, suddenly feeling very, very lonely.

Chapter Text

     It was only noon and Bethany was so tired she could hardly think straight. She hadn't been able to sleep at all the night before, her bed feeling cold and empty without Ville beside her. He had called her a little after one in the morning as he was getting back on the tourbus to let her know he'd arrived safely and to tell her he loved her, but it was cold comfort. She gave up on sleep around 4 AM, resigning herself to drinking an entire pot of coffee and making her only objective to survive the day at work.

     She picked at the salad she'd packed for lunch with disinterest, not feeling the least bit hungry. All she wanted was to go home and pass out. She sighed and put her food back in her lunchbox, getting up and going to the coffee pot to fill her travel mug yet again.

     "Party too hard on spooky weekend?"

     Bethany turned to see James Franklin, Mr. Franklin's youngest son, standing in the doorway looking amused. She laughed weakly and shook her head.

     "I'll have you know I was very well-behaved this Halloween," she yawned, putting the lid back on her cup and taking a long drink. "Couldn't sleep for shit last night, that's all."

     "Aww, did you dread coming in and seeing us today that badly?" James teased, going to the fridge and rummaging around for his lunch.

     "Of course not," Bethany said, shaking her head. "Hey, while I have you for a second, I have a favor to ask."

     "Your wish is my command, probably," James grinned, sitting at the table in the middle of the room with his food, which consisted of three pizza Lunchables.

     "That's your lunch?" Bethany giggled. James made a face and tore a package open, setting about assembling his tiny pizzas.

     "Hey, don't pick on the guy you're about to ask for a favor."

     "You're right, my apologies," Bethany said. "So uh... I was wondering if you could take my bio page off the funeral home website."

     "What?" James said, confused. "Why? You're not quitting, are you?"

     "As if," Bethany said, rolling her eyes. "No, it's just, uh... It's a privacy thing. I'd just rather not have my name and picture posted publicly anymore."

     "Is everything alright?" James asked quietly, looking concerned. "Are you in some kind of trouble or something?"

     "Yes, James, I'm hiding from the mob," Bethany whispered, glancing around furtively. Then she grinned. "No! I'm not in any trouble. Please don't worry, it's nothing bad. I'd just rather my information be taken down. Is that okay?"

     "Sure," James said, though he looked unconvinced. "I'll do it when I go back to my desk. Are you sure you're alright, Bethany? Because if something is going on and you need help-"

     "James, take a chill pill," Bethany laughed, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm fine. I promise. Cross my heart, hope to die, needle in my eye, the whole thing."

     "Alright," James sighed, patting her hand. "I'll take care of it."

     "Thanks," Bethany said, giving him a reassuring smile. "Time for me to go back to the paperwork mines. Enjoy your Lunchables, fellow adult." She hurried out of the kitchen before James could find something to throw at her. James was a sweetheart, and she felt a little bad about worrying him. She wasn't sure she was ready to have the "I'm dating a famous musician and I need to keep a low profile so fangirls don't eat me alive" conversation, however. At least he hadn't pushed the issue too hard.

     Bethany rounded the corner and walked back into the office, only to find Rebecca standing in front of her desk with a shit-eating grin on her face.

     "Oooh, someone loves you!" she crooned, stepping aside to reveal Bethany's workspace and the large bouquet of red roses that now sat upon it.

     "Where did those come from?" Bethany gasped, her hand flying to cover her mouth.

     "They were just delivered to the lobby," Rebecca said. "I happened to be coming in from my smoke break and the delivery guy stopped and asked if I could get them to you. There's a card. I promise I didn't read it!" She handed Bethany the small, shiny rose gold card. Bethany quickly opened it, a smile quite similar to Rebecca's taking over her face.

    So you know I'm thinking of you. I love you. - vv.

***

     Bethany heaved a sigh as she dropped the basket of clothes she'd just washed on the living room floor. What kind of sadist puts the laundry room in the basement of an apartment building with no elevator? she thought irritably, as she always did on laundry day. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and sighed again, this time at the lack of messages. She hadn't heard from Ville at all outside of receiving the flowers that afternoon. The roses now had a home in an ornate black vase on her coffee table, and she couldn't help but giggle softly to herself when she looked at them. Placing her phone on the table, she leaned down to smell them for the thousandth time that day, deciding to forgive the man for his radio silence. She knew he was busy and likely a bit disoriented from having to jump right back into things.

     Bethany turned on the TV, opting to put on some horror game let's plays on YouTube to entertain herself while folding her clothes. Watching grown men nearly piss themselves in terror over pixels on a screen was one of her greatest guilty pleasures, and she had a few videos to catch up on after her busy weekend. She was about halfway through a particularly intriguing playthrough of a new indie title when her phone finally began to ring. Quickly she dropped the pajama pants she'd just picked up and paused the video before snatching up her phone and accepting the call.

      "Did you like your surprise?" Ville asked immediately, causing Bethany to laugh.

     "Very much," she said. "Hello, by the way."

     "Hello," Ville said, chuckling. "Sorry, it was killing me waiting to call you and ask about it all day."

     "Busy day?" Bethany asked, cradling her phone between her ear and shoulder and returning to her laundry.

     "Obscenely," Ville sighed tiredly. "There must be something in the air, too. Everything that could go wrong, did today. First the bus broke down on the highway during rush hour this morning. That took almost three hours to fix, so we were running behind. I had two different radio interviews to rush to after that, barely made it on time, and then they had technical issues so that ran overtime, too. Then I had to get back to the venue for the show, where I promptly tripped on some stairs and bruised the hell out of my shin. The show somehow went fine, thankfully... Still, I'm so fucking tired I can't even move right now."

     "Big yikes," Bethany said, wincing. "Sorry it was such a rough first day back at the office."

     "I've had worse," Ville chuckled. "But I do love to complain."

     "Besides that series of unfortunate events," Bethany said, dumping the last of the clothes onto the floor in front of her, "how are things? Did the guys miss you?"

     "Please," Ville snickered. "I think they were glad to get a break from me. I'm a bit of a control freak and a terrible nag, I don't know if you've noticed..."

     "You? No way!" Bethany gasped, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

     "Uh-huh. I might be worse now than ever. I think it was more like they felt a cold chill when my flight landed this morning, rather than being happy to see me."

     "Oh, shut it. If we were going to mutiny, we'd have done it by now, fucker!" came a muffled interjection on Ville's end.

     "Still two months to go," Ville laughed, "never say never."

     "So, uh..." Bethany began awkwardly, not having realized Ville's bandmates were nearby, "I'm guessing everyone knows about you and me?"

     "They knew it was going to happen the night we met," Ville said, "or so they tell me. When I told them I was going to see a friend last weekend, they instantly knew where I was going. No worries, they approve. Apparently you make me marginally less cranky."

     "You desperately needed to get laid!" came the unidentified voice again. Bethany heard what sounded like a slap and then a groan of pain, and she had to put a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles.

     "I apologize," Ville said to Bethany exasperatedly. He said something to his companion in Finnish that sounded vaguely threatening, only to be answered with a chorus of laughter. "Clearly my friends forgot their manners."

     "That's alright," Bethany said, furrowing her brow when she picked up an unfamiliar shirt. She turned it right side out and laughed softly when she realized where it had come from. "Hey, so, I'm in the middle of folding clothes and just found one of your Black Sabbath shirts."

     "Oh no, how could I have been so careless?" Ville deadpanned.

     "If you were going to leave it behind on purpose, you should have told me!" Bethany laughed. "It blended right in with every other black shirt I own. If I'd known it was yours I wouldn't have washed it."

     "Well, that's gross," Ville teased. "I smell terrible."

     "You do not," Bethany argued, bringing the shirt to her nose and sighing in disappointment when all she smelled was laundry detergent.

     "I do right now, probably," Ville laughed. "Speaking of laundry, you might notice you're short a cardigan. Oops."

     "Ohhh, did you take the big gray one?" Bethany whined. "That's my favorite!"

     "I'll take very good care of it," Ville promised. "Also, it's famous now. I wore it onstage tonight."

     "You did not," Bethany gasped.

     "I did," Ville said happily. "I'm sure you can find some pictures. I think it suits me, so you may not get it back."

     "Oh, fine," Bethany huffed, though she was smiling so hard that her cheeks hurt. "You're not getting this shirt back either, then."

     "Deal," Ville said, yawning quietly.

     "You should get to bed," Bethany said gently. "Hopefully tomorrow will be less stressful."

     "Yeah," Ville mumbled sleepily. "I am going to get off the phone. I'll try to talk more tomorrow, I promise."

     "Okay," Bethany said, beginning to feel tired herself. She'd taken a nap when she got home from work, but its effects were beginning to wear off. "Ville?"

     "Mmhmm?"

     "I love you," Bethany said softly, the feeling of missing him beginning to squeeze around her heart once again.

     "I love you too, sweetheart," Ville replied. "I miss you terribly already."

     "Me too," Bethany whispered, tears pricking at her eyes.

     "Two months," he reminded her. "Two months and I'm all yours again. Now let's go to bed before the late night melancholia starts to creep in, hmm?"

     "Yeah," Bethany said, smiling sadly. "Good night, Ville."

     "Good night."

     Bethany sighed heavily as she ended the call, staring forlornly around the living room for a moment. It was so quiet without Ville there. How had she never realized how quiet it was before?

     chirp chirp

     Bethany quickly tapped the notification and felt her heart warm at the picture Ville had sent her. He was in his bunk, illuminated only by the dim LED reading lights around the bedframe, wearing her cardigan with no shirt underneath and a gentle smile on his face.

     "Does seeing my dumb face make you feel at least a little better?"

     Bethany quickly piled the neatly folded laundry back into the basket, deciding she'd put it away in the morning, and kept out Ville's "forgotten" T-shirt. She hurried to the bathroom, quickly washing her face and brushing her teeth before changing shirts. She went to her bedroom, crawling into bed and settling back on her pillows. She held her phone up high above her and took a picture, making sure Ville's T-shirt was plainly visible, then hit send after typing her response.

     "Your face always makes me feel better."

     Ville's reply was almost instantaneous:

     "Hmm, you look good in my clothes..."

     Bethany blushed, shaking her head.

     "Don't you start. Go to sleep!! I love you."

     "Yes, dear. I love you too. ❤️"

***

     It was just after six the following evening when Bethany pulled up the driveway of her father's home. Carson had called while she was still at work to invite her to dinner, saying it had been too long since they had last "eaten together like a gosh darned family". Unable to resist his endearing powers of persuasion, Bethany had agreed and set off straight after leaving the funeral home. It had been a long day, and she knew her dad's home cooking would be a welcome change from her takeout and junk food habit.

     She got out of the car and hurried up the stone walkway to the front door, which she opened without knocking knowing that her father was expecting her.

     "Hey Dad, I'm here!" she called, toeing off her black ballet flats and placing them under the coat rack.

     "In the kitchen!" Carson called back, his voice echoing down the hall. Bethany hung up her purse and headed for the kitchen, smiling when the delicious aroma of chili hit her nose. She found her father at the stove, turning off the burner under a large pot and bending down to pull something out of the oven.

     "Aww, did you make my favorite, Pops?" Bethany grinned, walking around the kitchen island to give Carson a kiss on the cheek.

     "Of course," he said, putting a cast iron skillet of cornbread on a trivet on the counter. "Such a shame you didn't come in time to give me a hand..."

     "I had to work late!" Bethany laughed. "Besides, it doesn't get much easier than chili and cornbread. I'm sure you didn't struggle too much."

     "I had to make salad, too!" Carson said indignantly. "All by myself! So much chopping!"

     "Builds character," Bethany said, going to the fridge and taking out the large salad bowl. "Tell you what, I'll take this to the table. Will that lighten your burden, m'lord?"

     "Oh, I suppose," Carson said, sighing dramatically. He flashed her a smile and rolled his eyes. "So, what kept you so late tonight?"

     "A few last minute guests arrived," Bethany said, carrying the salad to the dining room and placing it in the center of the small table. "I had to get their paperwork in order so Rebecca won't be scrambling and tearing her hair out in the morning."

     "What would that girl do without you?" Carson chuckled, appearing behind Bethany with a few bottles of dressing and a bag of croutons.

     "Sob quietly in a corner, probably," Bethany snickered. "I should have called to let you know, but I didn't think it would take as long as it ultimately did."

     "Ah, no big deal," Carson said, motioning for her to follow him back to the kitchen. He set about ladling the chili into two bowls. "Would you mind slicing that cornbread for me? It's probably still a little too hot, but oh, well. It doesn't have to be pretty."

     "You got it, boss," Bethany said, pulling a knife from the block and carefully cutting into the bread. "I'm surprised you didn't get hung up at work, too."

     "Believe it or not, I'm learning to delegate," Carson chuckled. "I've got some really good people on staff these days. No need for my old vice grip on daily operations. I've been wanting to spend less time at the office."

     "Yeah?" Bethany said, glancing up at him. "Not thinking of retiring, are you?"

     "It's not time for shuffleboard in Florida just yet," Carson said, shaking his head. "I am tired of being so hands on, though. There are things I'd like to start getting done around the house, projects and things I've been putting off."

     "Finally going to put in that sun room you've been talking about since forever?" Bethany asked, smiling knowingly. Carson had been planning on adding an addition to the house since Bethany was a child, saying a sunroom with a view of the back garden was just what the home needed. His realty work had always kept him far too busy to devote time to such an undertaking.

     "I'd like to," Carson said with a nod, handing Bethany a plate to put the slices of cornbread on. "I'll probably need a few more sets of hands, though. Think your boy would be of any help?" Bethany's eyes snapped to her father's face, and she laughed at the twinkle in his eyes.

     "He might be coerceable," she said, finishing transferring the bread to the plate and following Carson back to the dining room. "I can appeal to his desire for your approval. Nice segue, by the way."

     "You couldn't have expected to get through this whole dinner without talking about him," Carson grinned, setting down the bowls of chili in their places and taking a seat. "How were the farewells on Sunday night?"

      Bethany sat in her own chair, adding salad and cornbread to the plate in front of her. "Sad," she sighed, grabbing the bottle of raspberry vinaigrette and shaking it over her salad. "I wasn't ready for him to leave. Three days went by fast."

     "I am disappointed I didn't get to meet him," Carson said, crumbling some cornbread into his chili. "Do you have plans to see each other again soon?"

     "Yes, actually," Bethany said slowly. "He invited me to visit him in Finland after his tour wraps up. I'll be flying over halfway through January and staying for a couple of weeks."

     "Finland in January?" Carson asked, surprised. "That will be quite the experience."

     "Ville said I might as well see it at its worst to decide if I can put up with it," Bethany laughed. "I'll be a sight, all bundled up and grumpy."

     "I'm sure you'll be just fine," Carson said reassuringly. "You'll be there for your birthday, then?"

     "Oh! I guess so!" Bethany exclaimed. "I totally forgot about that, actually. Do you mind? I know we usually go out for dinner on my birthday..."

     "I don't mind," Carson said gently. "It's your day, you can spend it however you like. I'd imagine Ville would like to do something nice for you. We can celebrate before you leave or after you get home."

     "Sounds like a plan," Bethany said with a small smile.

     "I do have to ask," Carson sighed, his brow creasing, "are you absolutely sure you're comfortable going to visit him alone? You've never been out of the country before, you don't know anyone else there or speak the language. I know you're very fond of Ville and he seems to be fond of you, but if something were to happen, I worry about you being on your own."

     "Oh, Dad," Bethany said, flustered, "I'll be fine! I highly doubt anything catastrophic is going to happen. I trust Ville. Even if we were to... I don't know, have an argument or something? He wouldn't leave me high and dry in a foreign country. He can be moody, but he's not an ass."

     "Alright, alright," Carson laughed. "I just had to say something. If I didn't they'd take away my Dad Card."

     "Right, right," Bethany snorted. "The Council of Dad Elders - always watching."

    
     After dinner, Bethany joined her father in the living room for coffee. They chatted comfortably, Bethany about her upcoming exam before beginning embalming labs, Carson about the garage repairs he was thinking about starting over the weekend.

     "The door opens far enough for me to squeak the car in and park," Carson said with a shrug. "It's been like that for about a year and a half. Only a mild annoyance, but I should still probably actually fix it. Oh, and there's a hole in the roof in the back corner. I'm glad everything I had stored over there was in plastic totes."

     "I can come over and help you," Bethany offered, tucking her legs underneath her where she sat on the couch. "I'm not climbing on the roof, though. That's all you."

     "Oh, yes, send your poor old dad up on a ladder," Carson laughed. "What if I fall off and break a hip?"

     "Try very hard not to do that?" Bethany suggested with a grin.

     Carson rolled his eyes and smiled, setting his coffee on the end table next to his recliner. He sighed then, turning his gaze to the antique fireplace beneath the TV where logs were crackling merrily. "Not to bring down our good mood," he began, rubbing a hand over his stubbly jaw, "but have you heard from your mother recently?"

     "Oh, uh," Bethany blinked rapidly, searching her memory, "we talked on the phone a couple weeks ago, maybe? She said she'd been really busy at the gas station. She'd been picking up extra shifts since some kind of flu was going around and knocking out her coworkers. Why do you ask?"

     "I spoke to her last week," Carson sighed. "She seemed... off. I know she tends to get a bit depressed when the weather starts to turn cold, starts picking bad habits back up. I know it's not your responsibility to keep her on the straight and narrow, Bethy, but maybe you could give her a call sometime this week? Just to check in, lift her spirits, you know."

     "Of course," Bethany said, nodding. "I do have something interesting to tell her about for once."

     "Hmm... Maybe hold off on that," Carson said, making a face.

     "Why?" Bethany asked.

     "You know I try not to speak ill of your mother," Carson said wearily, "but she is the way she is. There's no getting around the fact that she prefers to get by with the least amount of effort possible, and she isn't above being manipulative to get what she wants. If she hears that you're involved with a successful musician, chances are good all she's really going to hear is that her daughter has a direct connection to a wealthy man. Are you following me?"

     "You think she'd try to guilt me into asking Ville for money," Bethany scoffed, shaking her head. "That wouldn't work on me, Dad. I really don't think she'd even try it. She knows I have no tolerance for her games."

     "You'd be surprised what she'd be willing to try if she saw the possibility for a guaranteed meal ticket," Carson muttered. "I know she's been doing well at her job since she started there, and I am happy to hear it. I worry she'll burn out over the winter, though, and start looking for an out. If you want to tell her you've met someone, I understand, but you may want to keep it vague. It's just a suggestion, sweetie. I don't want to see her cause problems 'in your household', as it were."

     "That's fair," Bethany conceded. "I'll watch what I say. Thanks, Pops."

     "Always looking out for you, buttercup."

***

     Back at her apartment, Bethany was rereading her class notes on restorative art and makeup when she felt the familiar buzz of her phone in her hoodie pocket. She quickly retrieved it and smiled as she answered.

     "Greetings from disgruntled college student hell," she said in her best professional phone voice, "how may I direct your call?"

     "Please connect me with the prettiest student in the mortuary science program," Ville chuckled.

     "Oh, I'm sorry sir," Bethany continued, "it seems she had a nervous breakdown this evening due to the weight of her course load and persistent existential dread. May I take a message?"

     "Only if you're comfortable relaying something X-rated..."

     "Ville!" Bethany groaned, blushing slightly.

     "What?" Ville chuckled. "Not interested in having phone sex via secretary?"

     "That would be a very overcomplicated role play," Bethany said, shaking her head. "Truthfully, I don't have the mental energy to have any sort of phone sex tonight. My brain is soup."

     "You've got to stop studying so hard before bed," Ville admonished. "How do you not have the fucking weirdest dreams?"

     "That's my secret, Captain," Bethany said, "I'm too exhausted to dream."

     "I can relate," Ville said, his voice straining in a way that made Bethany think he might be stretching. "Today wasn't a disaster like yesterday, but it was tiring. I'm already in bed as we speak."

     "I won't keep you up if you want to get to sleep," Bethany said gently. "I know you need it."

     "I do, but I need to hear your voice even more."

     "Sweet-talker," Bethany giggled. "Fine, I'll tell you about my day, then."

     "Please do," Ville said happily.

     Bethany told him about her long day at work, then about dinner with her father. Ville seemed very amused when she told him her dad wanted his help putting on the addition to his house sometime over the summer.

     "Is this how your dad and I are going to bond?" he laughed. "I'm happy to help, but a carpenter I am not."

     "I'm sure you'll manage," Bethany said, smiling. "I'll be there too, and I can guarantee I'm twice as useless as you are. I'll make you look amazing by comparison."

     "Thank you?" Ville said, confused. "I think?"

     Bethany opted not to tell him about the discussion she and Carson had had about her mother. It wasn't something she wanted to spend time thinking about, much less talking about. She found herself wishing, not for the first time in her life, that she could have been blessed with a less troubled mother. She resented the prospect of having to tell her mother half truths about the man she'd fallen in love with in order to keep her mother's ugliest tendencies in check.

     The pair chatted happily for a while longer before finally saying their I love yous and good nights. After hanging up, Bethany straightened up the living room, stacking the notebooks and old worksheets she'd been studying neatly on the coffee table. She gathered up the small cup and plate that had contained milk and cookies earlier in the evening, dropping them off in the kitchen sink on her way to bed.

     Once under the covers, Bethany tried her best to relax, but she couldn't help but dread the phonecall with her mom she planned on making in the morning. It wasn't that she hated talking to her, at least not anymore. The rifts between them had healed considerably over the last year. There was something to what Carson had said about his ex-wife's mood during the winter, however, and Bethany knew it could make for a volatile situation. No matter how she rehearsed what she might say in her mind, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong. Still, she was incredibly tired, and the exhaustion eventually overtook her anxiety to pull her into a fitful sleep.

Chapter Text

     "Hi, it's Cassandra. I can't answer the phone right now, leave a message and I'll call you back! Thanks!"

     "Hey mom, it's Bethany. Just calling to check in and chat, it's been a little bit. Hope you're having a good day! I'll talk to you later."

     Bethany ended the call with a sigh and tossed her phone onto the couch beside her. She'd wanted to get the call with her mother out of the way early, but it wasn't terribly unexpected to get her voicemail. Bethany hoped it was because she was busy at work and not for other, more unpleasant reasons.

     She got up and went into the kitchen, thinking she should probably make something for lunch. The contents of her fridge, however, were pretty underwhelming. She'd been so busy with work and school over the past couple of days that she hadn't had much time to go shopping. Sighing in defeat, she grabbed her car keys and purse, pulled on her shoes and jacket, and set off for a grocery store adventure.

     Bethany wandered aimlessly up and down aisles, choosing items randomly and tossing them into her cart. She knew better than to go grocery shopping without a game plan, but she'd been too lazy to make a list. Feeling more snacky than anything else, she'd already accumulated a pre-cut veggie platter, a giant tub of red pepper hummus, and a bag of tortilla chips. An actual dinner seemed like too much effort and really, who did she need to impress?

     As she turned the corner to start down the beverage aisle, she heard hushed whispers coming from behind her. She turned to look, spotting a pair of women perhaps a little younger than herself casting furtive glances at her. The women jumped, startled that she'd noticed them, then rushed off in the opposite direction.

     Well that was weird, Bethany thought, heading for the tea section. She grabbed several bottles of green tea and placed them carefully in her cart, trying to visualize her fridge back home to figure out if there was anything else she desperately needed. Figuring it wouldn't hurt to grab some more half-and-half for coffee, she made her way to the dairy section. Spotting one last bottle of pumpkin spice creamer on the shelf among the influx of peppermint mocha, she opted for that instead, noticing as she grabbed it that the whispering girls were once again standing nearby.

     "Oh my god, that's one of his rings!" the taller of the two whispered to her friend, just loud enough that Bethany caught it.

     "It is her!" the other girl, a tiny blonde gasped. Bethany froze and looked up at them.

     "Uh, hi," she said uncomfortably. "Something I can help you with?"

     "Oh!" the taller girl squeaked, her face turning red. She twisted her long, dark brown braid in her fingers awkwardly. "Sorry, we must look like total creeps right now."

     "A little, yeah," Bethany laughed nervously.

     "Sorry, sorry!" the brown-haired girl said again. "It's just, we're big HIM fans, and also Ville Valo fans obviously, and there were some pictures online recently of him at the Pittsburgh airport and-"

     "Ah, balls," Bethany sighed.

     "We know it's super not cool to look at creeper shots like that!" the blonde piped up, looking embarrassed. "He's just so... elusive. When he gets spotted it's kind of a big deal."

     "Just have to make sure he's still alive, right?" Bethany asked, smiling wryly.

     "Exactly!" the taller girl laughed, seeming relieved. "So, um... You're the girl in the pictures?"

     "I haven't seen them, but I'm going to take a gamble and say yes," Bethany said, heat rising up her neck. "He came to see me over the weekend. His flight left Sunday night and I took him to the airport."

     "Are you guys like... together?" the blonde asked, eyes wide. Bethany swallowed hard.

     "I uh... I don't feel super comfortable talking about it," she said weakly. "Sorry, I hope I'm not coming off like a bitch."

     "No, no!" the dark-haired girl said quickly, shaking her head. "Not at all! It's none of our business! Jesus, Taylor what's wrong with you?!"

     "I'm just curious!" the blonde, Taylor, said defensively. She turned back to Bethany. "Sorry. You're totally not a bitch, I get it!"

     "Thanks," Bethany said, twisting the ring on her thumb anxiously. She saw both of the women's eyes hone in on the action and cringed inwardly.

     "Can I just ask... what's he like?" the dark-haired girl asked quietly, her cheeks turning pink. Bethany laughed breathlessly and shrugged.

     "He's sweet," she said. "Quiet, shy, and sweet. What you see is what you get, really."

     "That's good to know," the girl said, smiling widely. "Well... Lucky you! Living the dream!"

     "I guess I am, huh?" Bethany said. "Hey, if that's all, I do kind of need to get going. I have some work I have to get done at home..."

     "Of course!" Taylor said, grabbing her friend's arm and already pulling her away. "Thanks for talking to us!"

     "No problem," Bethany said, watching bemusedly as the two women scurried away. Her heart was racing in her chest, and her hands shook where they rested on the cart handle. She fished her phone out of her pocket and looked up a Ville Valo fan page she remembered being somewhat active.

     Sure enough, as the photo feed loaded, she spotted some grainy shots taken surreptitiously at the airport of her and Ville hugging, talking, saying goodbye. Kissing. She didn't know how to feel, looking at the images of what had been a very private, emotional moment. She was even less sure of how to feel about the fact that each photo had over ten thousand comments each. Her thumb hovered over the "show all comments" link for just a moment when her phone began to ring. Ville. Bethany laughed softly, answering the call.

     "Congratulations, I think you just saved my sanity," she said.

     "I'm guessing you saw the airport pictures and you almost read the comments?" Ville asked, managing to sound amused and annoyed at the same time.

     "Yeah," Bethany admitted, slowly pushing her cart toward the checkout lanes. "I got recognized at the fucking grocery store."

     "What, really?" Ville said incredulously. "Damn, that's actually impressive. You didn't have any issues, did you?"

     "No," Bethany assured him, taking her place in line at the self checkout. "It was just two girls, they followed me around for a bit before I finally said something, and then they were very nice. They looked like they thought I might rip their heads off for speaking to me, though. It was... bizarre."

     "I'd imagine," Ville laughed. "At least you got some normal ones for your first go. What did you say to them?"

     "Nothing, really," Bethany said, looking disinterestedly at the covers of some cooking magazines. "They asked if you and I were together. I told them I didn't feel comfortable talking about it, which was still basically a yes, now I think about it..."

     "One of those pictures is of me kissing you like we're in a rom-com," Ville pointed out, "I think that ship has sailed."

     "Well, yes," Bethany huffed. "Still, I didn't want to be a blabbermouth about it to a couple of complete strangers. They also asked what you're like."

     "Oh?" Ville asked, intrigued. "And did you tell them I'm an annoying, grouchy, overbearing slob? Or did you lie through your teeth?"

     "Would you shut the fuck up?" Bethany laughed. "I told them you're sweet. You're exactly what you seem like."

     "Blech."

     "I should have mentioned the immaturity, too," Bethany said, finally reaching the counter and scanning her store card.

     "You should have!" Ville said. "They wouldn't have known what to say to that."

     "So..." Bethany said, beginning to ring up her food, "I didn't read the comments. Did you?"

     "I might have taken a peek," Ville said, his tone darkening slightly. "Just... Don't. Trust me. Don't look. Pretend it's not there. I'm serious."

     "I don't have the stamp of approval, then?" Bethany chuckled.

     "No one ever gets the stamp of approval," Ville sighed. "It's jealousy, nothing more. Don't worry about it. It has no bearing on your life and paying attention to it will just make you upset."

     "You're upset," Bethany said, putting her purchases in bags.

     "I shouldn't have looked," Ville mumbled. "I know better. I don't know why I expected this time to be different. I thought maybe everyone would have grown the fuck up by now, but apparently I have too much faith in humanity."

     "You're really piquing my morbid curiosity," Bethany said as she swiped her card.

     "Please resist the urge," Ville said seriously. "Not even just because of what's being said about you, but because of what's being said about me. It's ugly and ignorant."

     "What?" Bethany asked, reloading her cart with bags and making her way to the exit. "What the hell could people possibly have to say about you?"

     "Don't worry about it," Ville said firmly. "No comment reading, for either of us. It's not worth it."

     "Okay, okay," Bethany mumbled softly, pressing the button on her keys to pop the trunk of her car. "Anyway, besides that, how are you?"

     "Fine," Ville said. "Tired. So fucking tired. I'm ready to be done and go sleep in my own bed for a week. I don't know how I spent almost thirty years of my life doing this non-stop."

     "You love it," Bethany reminded him, putting her cart in the corral and walking back to her car. "Would you really want to do anything else?"

     "Becoming the weird hermit who lives in the woods full-time is looking rather attractive at the moment," Ville chuckled. "Maybe I'll grow a giant beard and make friends with all the woodland creatures."

     "Yes, because without the giant beard you'd just be a Disney Princess," Bethany teased, starting her car and backing out of the parking space.

     "I can live with that, too. I'm sure I'd be fetching in a gown."

     "I know what to get you for your birthday, then," Bethany giggled.

     "I'll be sure to send you my measurements," Ville laughed. "Hey, are you driving?"

     "Yes," Bethany replied. "I can multitask."

     "Nope," Ville said sternly. "Hanging up now, I have to go anyway. Get home safe, please. I'll call you before bed tonight. I love you."

     "I love you too," Bethany said, smiling. She ended the call and put her phone in the center console, stopping at a red light. She chewed her lip, still feeling the urge to disregard Ville's advice and look at what people were saying about them. Bethany remembered the sorts of things she'd read on forums years ago about whoever Ville had been seeing at the time, and it had not been pretty. This seemed to have Ville uncharacteristically on edge, however, moreso than the run of the mill petty bullshit should have.

     Still, she knew he was right, that it was simply jealousy and the anonymity afforded by the internet that made people behave that way. She knew he was also right that it shouldn't mean anything to her. She gave herself a shake and tried to push it from her mind, focusing on the road as she headed back home.

***

     That evening, the entirety of Bethany's bed was covered in textbooks. She scribbled furiously in her notebook, making note of everything that could possibly be pertinent to the process of embalming. Her final test on the subject before labs was in the morning, and she couldn't help but feel like she was woefully unprepared. Rationally she knew she would likely be just fine, as she was most interested in this subject and therefore had absorbed everything from the lectures quite well. Her anxiety, on the other hand, was frantically ringing alarm bells and at the moment held the upper hand.

     Just as she was taking notes on the use of gluteraldehyde for probably the hundredth time in her college career, her phone began to buzz in her pocket. She sighed and pulled it out, half expecting it to be her mother but instead smiled exasperatedly when she saw a text from Vera.

     "I'm coming up your stairs. Don't get up, I'll let myself in!"

     Thinking to herself that she should be grateful for the extra warning this time, Bethany tossed her phone aside and waited for Vera's arrival. Sure enough, within two minutes she heard her front door open and shut, followed by two thuds as Vera divested herself of her shoes. She appeared in the doorway to Bethany's bedroom, looking on in amusement.

     "Look at you, star student," she said, waltzing into the room and plopping down in Bethany's desk chair. She glanced at Bethany's stereo, which was playing Ville's album at a low volume. "Oh, that's adorable. And gross. Have I mentioned y'all make me want to vom recently? I have to make my quota."

     "Hush," Bethany said, wrinkling her nose at her friend. "It helps me think. Speaking of which, I think I might die in class tomorrow, will you say nice things at my funeral?"

     "You are not going to die," Vera said. "You love this shit, you freak. You'll be top of the class and then you'll feel like an idiot for worrying so much. I'm surprised this -" she nudged a book that was dangerously close to the edge of the bed with her foot "- is what's got you giving yourself gray hairs at the moment, actually."

     "Oh, for fuck's sake. Not you, too," Bethany groaned, flipping her notebook closed and rubbing her temples. "You looked."

     "I had to," Vera said. "I'm your best friend. And let me tell you, it took massive amounts of willpower not to put the fear of God into 'poisongirl666' and all of their little associates. Be grateful for my restraint."

     "It's not a big deal," Bethany sighed, beginning to wrangle her textbooks into a neat pile in front of her. "It was bound to happen, and now it has. I don't care to know what's being said. It's not my problem."

     "You are so full of shit," Vera laughed, shaking her head in disbelief.

     "I'm hoping if I say it often enough, it'll become true," Bethany grumbled, flopping back on her pillows. "Ville made me promise not to read anything. So far, I've held to my word."

     "Wise man," Vera said, slowly spinning in the chair. "It's a total shit show. People are so convinced they know the guy and what's best for him. Gives me the heebie jeebies, honestly, especially now that I know the guy. I'm glad you haven't looked, though. I came here thinking I might have to talk you down from making a bad call."

     "What sort of bad call?" Bethany asked, raising an eyebrow.

     "Dumping him," Vera sighed. "There's at least one aspect you probably should be aware of... Some people are talking some real shit, saying it's 'problematic' that he seems to have a taste for younger women. Meanwhile they have no clue how old you actually are, seeing as no one's been able to suss out your identity yet."

     "Well, that's lovely," Bethany said dully. "That should work itself out once I finally do get identified. I give it a week, tops, then there will be new things to be annoyed about. You know, I got recognized at the store today."

     "You're kidding," Vera said, eyes going wide. "Oh, that is seriously unsettling. That's way too close to home."

     "Thanks, I feel much better, now," Bethany said, glaring at Vera. "I don't think it'll be a problem, the girls seemed harmless. It's not like I gave them my name, address, and phone number. They were tailing me and whispering, so I asked them what was up. They told me about the pictures. It didn't go much further than that. Afterwards they left me alone."

     "And immediately hopped online to say 'omigosh, I saw her at this exact supermarket', probably," Vera said, looking disgusted. Bethany shot her a withering look as she got up to move her books to her desk.

     "Can you please try some optimism?" she pleaded. "For me? Pretty please? This is my life now, we're just going to have to get used to it."

     "I'm sorry, Bethy," Vera said, putting her arms around Bethany's waist. "I'm just very protective of you. I don't want people all up in your business. That's my job, and I'm employee of the month, every month."

     "Yeah? Then why is it you still haven't heard any details about my bedroom activities?" Bethany asked, grinning as she returned Vera's hug.

     "Because you hate fun," Vera said. "I'll get you to cave sometime. You can't possibly keep something that good to yourself long-term. Unless it's been awful. Oh, my god, does he suck in bed? There's no way, is there?"

     "Vera," Bethany said warningly.

     "Come on, give me something!" Vera whined, looking up at Bethany with sad eyes.

     "No, he does not suck in bed," Bethany laughed. "Not even a little. There, happy?"

     "Ecstatic," Vera grinned, hopping out of the chair and doing a little pirouette toward the door. "Now, what are we having for dinner? I am starving."

     Bethany hadn't planned on getting takeout yet again, but Vera offered to pay and suggested sushi, so she wasn't about to say no. Within an hour the pair of them were sitting in the living room enjoying their meal, watching The Haunting of Hill House for something like the fifth time. Bethany was about to get up to refill their drinks when her phone buzzed yet again, Ville's name flashing on the screen. She glanced at Vera, who waved a dismissive hand.

     "Answer the boy, don't keep him waiting."

     Bethany rolled her eyes and got up, accepting the call and picking up the glasses from the table.

     "Hey, sunshine," she said as she went into the kitchen, giggling as Vera retched behind her.

     "Hey, moonbeam," Ville replied, "is that a thing we're doing now?"

     "I mostly did it to annoy Vera," Bethany laughed.

     "Vera's there?" Ville asked.

     "She's here more often than she's not," Bethany said, putting some ice in the glasses. "She came to make sure I wasn't having an aneurysm over my newfound infamy."

     "I'm sure she's thrilled about that mess," Ville said.

     "I think she wants to set the entire internet on fire in both of our defense," Bethany said. "Apparently people want to cancel you?"

     "Yeah," Ville said irritably, "and I don't want to talk about it."

     "Oh, I'm sorry," Bethany said awkwardly, taking two bottles of tea from the fridge and setting them on the counter.

     "No, no, I'm sorry," Ville sighed. "I don't mean to be short with you. I've just been on the phone with my manager about it for the last hour and it wasn't a fun conversation."

     "Uh... How 'not fun' are we talking?" Bethany asked, biting her lip.

     "You and I are fine," he assured her gently. "Please don't worry about that. I smoothed things over where it counts."

     "Okay," Bethany said softly, picking at the label on the tea in front of her. "I'm sorry if I'm causing you problems."

     "Don't," Ville said wearily. Bethany thought his voice sounded raspier than usual. "I don't know what's gotten into people, but it's in no way your fault. Have I ever mentioned how much I loathe the internet?"

     "Several times," Bethany said. "Are you okay? You don't sound so hot."

     "My voice is trashed," Ville sighed. "Like I said earlier, I'm getting tired. Maybe I'm coming down with something, I don't know. Probably nothing some tea and honey and a good night's sleep won't fix. Please don't worry."

     "I'm pretty sure it's my job to worry," Bethany said, finally setting about pouring her and Vera drinks. "Don't push yourself too hard, okay? The last thing you need is to wind up in the hospital."

     "I'll be okay," Ville said softly. "I am going to let you go, though. I should sleep. Have fun with Vera, and don't let her keep you up too late. I know you have your big mortician thing tomorrow."

     "Don't remind me," Bethany said, rolling her eyes. "Go sleep. I hope you feel better. I love you, Ville."

     "I love you too, Beth."

     Bethany sighed and carried the drinks back into the living room, sitting beside Vera on the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest, no longer feeling particularly hungry.

     "Your vibe tells me that wasn't a great chat," Vera said. "You guys okay?"

     "We're fine," Bethany said, picking at a loose thread on the rug. "Ville's having a rough time right now. He was already feeling sort of worn out, now this stupid internet drama has him stressed. I guess it's bad enough that he had to talk to his manager about it."

     "Yikes," Vera said, raising her eyebrows. "I mean... People are definitely mountaining this molehill. All based on literally zero information, which is the really fucked up part. Hopefully it doesn't get any worse."

     "What if I fuck up his whole life?" Bethany asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

     "See, that's exactly the kind of thing I came here to stop you from saying," Vera said, turning to face Bethany. "People are stupid, kitten. Stupid and bored. They think that because they have a Twitter handle, they can decree whatever they want about whoever they want and it makes them some kind of champion for righteousness or whatever the fuck. In the end, though, Ville's done nothing wrong, and neither have you. As long as he doesn't feed the trolls, which I'm sure he won't since he's been through this crap before, they'll get distracted and find someone else to wail and gnash their teeth about."

     "I hope you're right," Bethany said, leaning back against the couch. "He sounded awful, Vee. I think he's getting sick."

     "While I hope he's not, I can't think of a more fitting punishment for these dumbass 'fans' of his than him having to end the tour early," Vera said, taking a sip of her tea. "And then maybe he should drop off the face of the earth for several years again. That'll teach them not to bite the throat that serenades them."

     "Aww, you really like him," Bethany giggled softly. Vera gave her a strange look.

     "Why do you say that?" she asked.

     "You're getting all vicious and cutthroat on his behalf," Bethany said. "That's your love language."

     "Ohh, he's alright, I suppose," Vera huffed, though she was smiling fondly. "I wouldn't die for the man, but I'd at least take a nonlethal bullet wound. That's more for your benefit, though. You're my number one gal and I hate to see you cry."

Chapter Text

     Bethany couldn't fight the grin that crept over her face as she exited the classroom after finishing her exam, knowing with full confidence she'd passed with flying colors. Vera had been right; she really did love this shit, as strange and morbid as that seemed. She'd been nervous for nothing.

     Making her way out of the building, Bethany pulled her scarf up a bit closer to her face to ward off the chilled winds outside. A hot cup of coffee sounded like the perfect way to celebrate, so she headed in the direction of the student cafe nearby. Fellow students bustled around her, all chatting cheerfully amongst themselves, and Bethany felt a small pang of loneliness. She hadn't gotten to know many people at the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science, in part because of her shyness but also because she'd opted to do much of her coursework online. After Mason passed away, she hadn't felt much like being around other people. Now she saw that people in her classes had formed friendships, and she found that she somewhat regretted that choice.

     Bethany entered the small coffee shop just as the winds outside began to pick up, carrying small flakes of snow with them. Inside was blissfully warm and inviting, the rich smell of espresso an immediate comfort. Flipping back the hood of her coat, Bethany walked to the counter, pleased that there wasn't a line, and ordered a chai latte before sitting down in a quiet corner. She pulled out her phone, intending to text Vera to let her know how thoroughly she'd rocked her exam, only for an incoming call from her mother to push that plan aside.

     "Hey, mom!" she said brightly.

     "Hi, honey," came Cassandra's weary reply. "I'm sorry it took me a while to call you back. The store's been really busy."

     "Oh, I figured," Bethany said, taking a tentative sip of her drink to test the temperature. "It's fine! How are you?"

     "I'm okay, I guess," Cassandra said. "I could use a vacation. I'm sure you're probably feeling the same way, though. How are things at Mr. Franklin's?"

     "Controlled chaos, as always," Bethany chuckled. "I'm off today, I'm actually at school right now. Just took my final embalming exam. I'm positive I aced it. I'll be starting labs next week!"

     "That's wonderful, Bethy," Cassandra said. Bethany could tell it took her quite a lot of effort to inject excitement into her voice. "I'm so proud of you. You've always been able to do anything you set your mind to. You get that from your father."

     "I don't know," Bethany said carefully, "you've been doing really well yourself this past year, Mom. That's no small thing. I'm proud of you, too."

     "Please," Cassandra scoffed, the harsh sound making Bethany wince. "I'm a middle aged woman working as a gas station clerk. I wasted my potential long ago. My chance at making anything decent of myself is long past. You, though, you're going places."

     "It's never too late," Bethany said gently.

     "Don't give me platitudes," Cassandra snapped. Then she sighed. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. You know how it is. This dreary weather makes me crabby."

     "I know," Bethany sighed.

     "Do you have any other good news to cheer me up? Do anything fun with Vera lately?"

     "Oh, sure," Bethany said, chewing her lip. "We went to a concert last month, that was really nice. And um... I may have met a guy."

     "Did you really?" Cassandra asked, the interest in her tone sounding more genuine. "That's great! Is it anything serious?"

     "It might be. I don't want to jinx it or anything..."

     "Of course," Cassandra laughed softly. "I won't pry, then. I hope it works out for you, sweetie. If things do keep going well, I'd love to meet him when I see you next."

     "That would be nice, Mom," Bethany said, smiling feebly. "Fingers crossed things keep going smoothly." For me, and for you.

     "Well, I'd love to chat longer, but unfortunately I have to go clock back in," Cassandra said resignedly. "We'll talk again soon. I'll try to keep in touch more often. I love you, honey."

     "I love you too," Bethany said. "Bye, Mom."

     Bethany ended the call and sat back in her chair with a heavy sigh. It hadn't been that bad, but it frustrated her to hear her mother be so down on herself. It also rankled when she compared herself to Bethany, the bitterness just barely concealed. Bethany knew she could stand to be a bit more sympathetic, but she struggled. Life wasn't easy for anybody, it certainly hadn't been for Bethany, and sometimes she just wanted to shake her mother and tell her to pull herself together like she meant it.

     Bethany finished her latte and stepped back outside, the bite of the cold dampened slightly by the afternoon sun finally peeking out from behind the clouds. Choosing to take that as a good omen, she headed for the parking lot, anxious to get home and spend the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing.

***

Sooo... Bad news.

Ugh what NOW?

Tea and sleep did not fix it. I have no voice at all. I can't even talk.

That's not good.

Nope. We had to reschedule tonight's show. Probably going to have to reschedule a few, I don't think this will get better overnight. I'm sitting in an Urgent Care right now waiting to find out how fucked I am.

Ugh I'm so sorry. Do you feel okay other than that?

Yeah, I don't feel sick or anything. Besides wanting to sleep for the next century, but I'm pretty sure that's just my baseline at this point.

I'm beginning to suspect that I might be bad luck.

Good thing I'm not particularly superstitious, then. You're not getting rid of me that easily.

Curses, I thought I'd found an out.

I'm like a stray cat. Feed me once and I'll never leave you alone!

Oh, fine. I guess I'll keep you. At least you're housebroken.

Mostly. They're calling me back now, I'll text you when I get out of here.

Okay. ❤️

Laryngitis. A really nasty case of it, too.

Oof. Any idea how long you'll be down for?

Best case scenario? A week.

Worst case?

Might have to scrap the rest of the tour. I'd really rather not do that. So we're on our way to a hotel where I have strict orders to sleep, keep a humidifier on 24/7, and shut the fuck up for once in my life.

That last one might be tough for you. Do you think you'll survive?

It just means I'll be blowing up your phone with my inane thoughts in text form twice as much as usual. If I try that with anyone else I know they'll just block my number.

What's stopping me?

Your uncontrollable desire to please me, in every sense.

I don't know, that block button is looking mighty friendly right now...

You wouldn't.

Bethany!

Bethanyyyyyyyyyyyyy

If I knew your middle name I would middle name you SO hard right now.

What kind of boyfriend doesn't know his girlfriend's middle name?

HA! I knew you wouldn't really do it.

It's Taylor, by the way. My middle name.

Bethany Taylor Phillips. I like it.

Well, good! I wasn't planning on changing it if you didn't lol.

No? Not even the last name?

...Ville.

What ?

You'd better be joking.

What if I'm not?

I'd tell you you're insane. Did they give you drugs at that Urgent Care?

No good ones, unfortunately. My insanity is all natural today.

So you're proposing to me without being under the influence?

No no no. If I'm proposing to you, you'll know. This is me prodding to find out if you'd ever WANT to be proposed to.

Didn't you once say you never wanted to get married?

That does sound like something I might have said, though I'm sure I didn't say it to you. A good practice you should get into is to disregard everything I've ever said in an interview, ever. I like to do this thing called lying. I also love being overdramatic.

So you DO want to get married?

Maybe someday. Third time's supposed to be the charm, right? Do you want to get married?

I honestly don't know, Ville...

Hey, don't get upset. I'm not trying to push you, I'm just curious what you think about it.

I know. It's just... Thinking about the future is hard for me sometimes.

Says the woman who asked me if I wanted kids a few days ago.

Fair enough. It's not a no, it's just a maybe. I hate planning for anything anymore because life is so fucking weird and chaotic.

It is. But if it wasn't, we probably wouldn't have met, so it can't be all bad.

Everything happens for a reason?

The reason is there IS no reason. So you might as well do what you want to do when you want to do it while you still can. Life's short, remember?

As if I could ever forget.

Ah, that was probably the wrong thing to say. I'm sorry, Beth.

No, it's okay. You're right. It's scary for me, that's all.

I understand. I'll stop bugging you about it. I'm sorry for bumming you out.

You didn't, I promise.

I can always change the subject! Did you hear back from your mom yet?

Is that your idea of a mood-lightening question?

I'm guessing the answer is yes and it went poorly?

Not necessarily poorly... We didn't have an argument or anything like that. She's just not herself. She gets depressed during the winter and she's hard to talk to. She forgets that I'm her daughter, not her therapist.

I'm sorry. That's not fair to you.

It's not, but such is the price I have to pay to have a relationship with my birth giver.

Did you tell her about us?

I did. Vaguely.

Vaguely?

It's probably best that she not be aware that I'm seeing someone as... successful as you are.

I see.

I'm sorry, she's just kind of moochy. I don't want her to start guilting me to try to get something from you.

Does she need help? Like with money? Because I don't mind helping your family, Beth.

That's not a door you want to open, trust me.

Alright. But she's going to find out who I am eventually. It would probably be better if she finds out from you.

I know, I know. Not right now, though. Not while she's in a funk. Again, you just have to trust me on this.

I do. I'm sorry this is something you have to deal with, Bethany. It's not supposed to be that way. I wish I could do something to help you.

Just listening helps. I really appreciate it.

I'm happy to listen anytime, sweetheart. I love you.

I love you, too.

Chapter Text

Today we had the pleasure to sit down with the man, the myth, the legend Ville Valo as he's wrapping up his US solo tour. Despite having been under the weather recently, he was in good spirits when he joined us for lunch, all charming smiles and sharp wit, just like we remembered from his days as the frontman of HIM.

Hey man, it's great to see you again! Feels like it's been forever!

It really does. Thanks for having me, it's nice to see you all again as well.

How are you feeling? I know you had to postpone a few dates due to illness recently.

Ah, yeah, I ended up with laryngitis and I was exhausted, totally wiped out. A bunch of shit coincided to form a perfect storm that knocked me on my ass. I felt like shit about having to cancel shows and reschedule them. I know that throws a wrench in people's plans and it's inconvenient. Not much sense in trying to tough it out when you can't even talk, let alone sing, though. I'm feeling much better now, thankfully. We've tacked the rescheduled shows onto the end of the tour, so hopefully everyone can still make it out and they don't hate me too much. (laughs)

When you say a bunch of shit coincided, I'm guessing you mean the illness and stress from some unfortunate online discourse...?

Ooh, hitting hard right out of the gate, I see.

Hey, if you don't want to get into it, we don't have to!

(laughs) Nah, it's fine. The funny thing is, there's... there's not even a lot for me to say, you know? The 'drama' really birthed itself out of nothing, it was fabricated in all the little dark corners online that like to speculate about things that no one actually knows shit about. I guess it's partially my own fault for being so tight lipped about my personal life and being totally inaccessible on social media. I created the very problem I was trying to avoid, in a way. 'The best laid plans' and all that.

So because you're an expert at flying under the radar, people had to invent things to be mad about?

Exactly! Some pictures popped up of me and my lady, the first lady I've been with in several years, and some people went disproportionately apeshit, reading into things way more than they needed to. Maybe if I had an Instagram and had posted a few pictures of my hand holding a mysterious other hand first, that might have softened the blow. Or maybe not. Who even knows?

You'd think people would be happy to see you happy.

You would think. Very rarely has that ever been the case, though. Well, I shouldn't say that. I think the vast majority of people who give a fuck about me and what I do are happy to see me happy. Me being happy is such a rarity, you know? (laughs) But they're relatively sane and don't feel compelled to squawk about their thoughts on my love life every two seconds. If you poll the most vocal, less sane individuals, no one is ever good enough for me, or there must be something off about whatever relationship I happen to be in.

This time it got really nasty, though.

Extremely. It really caught me off guard. Instead of the usual bullshit about my partner's appearance or whatever, it got made into this whole 'Ville's having a midlife crisis and is dating someone barely legal' thing. And given the current political climate and shit that's been brought to light in the entertainment industry, that's really not something you want to have going around about yourself.

I feel like it's safe to say your girlfriend is not 'barely legal'?

She's very much legal and has been for some time. It's rude to give a lady's age so I won't do that, but rest assured there's nothing nefarious going on. She does look younger than she is, which I think is what made people freak out. Nevermind the fact that the pictures of us at the airport were blurry and taken from some distance... But yeah, people made assumptions and you know what they say about that.

So, moral of the story: mind your own damn business?

Now you're asking too much of people! (laughs)

***

     Bethany smiled as she skimmed the rest of the interview, which switched gears to things that actually mattered, like how Ville felt about the tour now that it was winding down ("both happy and sad that it's nearly over"), whether he had any plans for another album ("I don't plan, planning is for people without attention problems"), and what he was most excited to do when he got home ("climb into my coffin and go the fuck to sleep"). She thought he'd handled things beautifully, which of course she'd known he would.

     "Whatcha readin'?" came Rebecca's soft southern drawl as she appeared suddenly next to Bethany with a cigarette dangling from her lips. Bethany jumped and quickly locked her phone, giving her coworker a playful shove.

     "You have got to quit creeping up on me like that," she laughed, sliding her phone back in her coat pocket. "I haven't forgiven you for last week."

     "Not my fault James didn't salt the sidewalk!" Rebecca said with a shrug. "How's your ass, by the way?"

     "Bruised, much like my pride," Bethany said, wincing. Rebecca had given her a scare the week before as well, resulting in Bethany slipping on the icy concrete and landing flat on her butt. The weather had turned cold and snowy rapidly over the past couple of weeks, making even a simple smoke break treacherous.

     "Seriously though, what had you so enthralled, there?" Rebecca asked, stomping her feet in an attempt to stay warm.

     "An interview," Bethany said vaguely, taking a long drag from her vape.

     "With who?" Rebecca pressed, raising an eyebrow.

     "A musician," Bethany said, giving Rebecca an odd look. "Why so curious?"

     "Hmmm, maybe because I figured out a little something about you, Miss Phillips," Rebecca said, a grin spreading across her face. "You've been holding out on me."

     "Oh, here we go..." Bethany sighed, letting her head fall back against the brick wall behind her. "Go on, then."

     "When were you planning on telling me about your rockstar boyfriend?" Rebecca demanded in a hushed voice. "I thought we were friends!"

     "We are," Bethany said. "I just... I wasn't ready to have that going around the office. I know how you are, Becca. You couldn't possibly keep that yourself."

     "If you told me not to share, I wouldn't have!" Rebecca said, looking hurt. "I didn't share when you said not to mention your gentleman friend you'd been texting. I'm guessing that gentleman friend was the boyfriend?"

     "He wasn't technically my boyfriend at the time," Bethany corrected. "But, yes. That was him."

     "And the roses?"

     "Also him."

     "And the daisies and chocolates after that?"

     "Yes, Rebecca!" Bethany laughed, shaking her head. "Yes. He's very affectionate. Maybe excessively so sometimes."

     "It tracks," Rebecca giggled. "He had that band with all the mopey love songs, didn't he? My best friend in high school drooled over him constantly. He does seem very romantic."

     "He is," Bethany said, blushing slightly.

     "Lucky you," Rebecca said, flicking the ash from her cigarette into the snow. "As it happens, if that interview was published today, I read it, too. You two really caused a stir, I guess."

     "Yeah, and it nearly stressed him into the hospital," Bethany sighed, closing her eyes. "I feel awful. Like, I know it's not my fault people are stupid, but still."

     "Aww, don't beat yourself up," Rebecca said, putting an arm around Bethany's shoulders. "He pulled it together and did some masterful damage control. If that's not good enough for people, they can get fucked."

     "You're right," Bethany said, resting her head on Rebecca's shoulder. "I just can't wait for him to finish touring so he can go back into hiding and calm down."

     "Couldn't help but notice the end of his tour coincides with your time off request," Rebecca said slyly. "You hopping across the pond?"

     "You bet your ass I am," Bethany said, grinning. "Two weeks of alone time, no school, no work, no tour, no responsibilities..."

     "No clothes?" Rebecca asked slyly. Bethany sighed heavily and threw Rebecca's arm off her shoulders, giving her a glare.

     "You're right, but you don't have to say it!"

***

     That night found Bethany curled up in her bed, freshly showered and in her warmest, comfiest pajamas, opening her video chat app and starting a call with Ville. Usually she let him contact her for their good night chat first, but he rarely used the video feature and all she really wanted was to see his face. After a few more rings than usual, he finally picked up, coming into focus on her screen with a mildly annoyed expression on his face.

     "Excuse me, you know I hate video chat," he said sternly, though he smiled anyway.

     "But you're so pretty," Bethany said, rolling onto her stomach and propping her phone against the headboard. She rested her chin on her hand and kicked her legs lazily back and forth behind her, making Ville snort and shake his head.

     "I haven't showered or shaved in about three days," he said, running his fingers through his visibly greasy hair as a demonstration. "I would not use the word 'pretty' to describe me right now. You, on the other hand, are absolutely adorable."

     "Aww, shucks," Bethany giggled, scrunching up her face at him. "So, I saw your interview today."

     "Yeah? How'd I do?"

     "Only the truly batshit would be dissatisfied with that," Bethany said, "and there's no helping those people. So, bravo."

     "I tried," Ville said, stretching out on the couch he was sitting on. He folded one arm behind his head and closed his eyes. "It's hard sometimes, acting like I don't give a fuck about anything when I'm actually screaming on the inside."

     "Could've fooled me. I mean, you could have if I didn't know you've been a basket case for weeks," Bethany said. "Maybe you should get into acting."

     "Now there's a terrible idea," Ville said, cracking one eye open to look at her. "You think the gossip is bad now..."

     "I'm joking," Bethany said with a roll of her eyes. "You'd turn into such a diva if you became an actor, anyway. There'd be no living with you."

     "I'm a diva already," Ville grinned.

     "My point, exactly," Bethany giggled. "Sounds quiet on your end. Where are the guys?"

     "Already asleep," Ville replied. "That's why I'm trying to keep my voice down. I was just getting ready to call you before heading to bed myself when you forced me to be on camera."

     "Aww, no wild birthday celebrations tonight?" Bethany asked. Ville's brow furrowed for a moment, then realization dawned on him.

     "Oh, fuck! I totally forgot about that," he said, chuckling. "I guess it is past midnight, huh?"

     "Happy birthday!" Bethany said, smiling brightly. "You gonna make a wish?"

     "If I tell you my wish, it won't come true."

     "I think you get a pass for telling your girlfriend your wish."

     "Nope, not gonna risk it," Ville said, miming zipping his lips shut. "I have a good one this year, so I'm not jinxing it."

     "Party pooper," Bethany pouted. "Will you tell me when it does come true?"

     "You'll be the first to know," Ville said softly, giving her a small smile. "You know... I've just realized I have no idea when your birthday is."

     "January 20th."

     "We'll be together on your birthday!" Ville said, his eyes lighting up. "Perfect, I know exactly what we're doing. Don't ask me, it's a surprise."

     "As usual, I'm merely along for the ride on the Ville train," Bethany laughed, shaking her head. Ville raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

     "There's certainly a ride involved..."

     "Shut uuuup," Bethany groaned, covering her face with her hands. Ville laughed in that way that never failed to make Bethany shiver, and she peeked at him through her fingers. "You're terrible."

     "You adore me," Ville said smugly.

     "I adore you," Bethany sighed, dropping her hands and smiling at him dreamily. "Even if you are an ass."

     "Always with the qualifiers," Ville tutted. "I'll break you of that eventually."

     "You can certainly try," Bethany said, stifling a yawn.

     "Looks like I'm about to lose you to the Sandman," Ville teased. "Are you off work tomorrow?"

     "I'm off the rest of the week," Bethany said, feeling relieved just saying the words. "Thanksgiving. I'll only get called in if something catastrophic happens."

     "Americans do have a tendency to kill themselves attempting to deep fry turkeys," Ville said thoughtfully. "Or so I've heard. Might be a busy day."

     "That doesn't happen nearly as often as you'd think," Bethany laughed. "It's rude to generalize like that, you know."

     "But your people make it so fun!"

     "'My people'!" Bethany scoffed. "I'll have you know I've only ever had one deep fried turkey in my life."

     "Did you like it?"

     "...maybe."

     "I rest my case," Ville grinned, rubbing at his eyes. "I do think we should both get to bed, though. I, unfortunately, am not off tomorrow. Please enjoy your sleeping in a little extra for me."

     "I will send you well-rested vibes from dreamland," Bethany promised. "I love you."

     "I love you more."

     "Oh, no," Bethany laughed. "If you start that we'll never go to sleep."

     "I'm not looking for you to argue, I'm just stating a fact," Ville said, sticking his tongue out at her. "Iloveyoumoregoodnight!" He abruptly hung up, leaving Bethany blinking rapidly at her phone for a moment before she rolled her eyes, still smiling like an idiot.

     Bethany plugged her phone in and happily shut off all of her alarms before setting the device down on her nightstand. She stretched languorously, allowing herself to sink heavily into her mattress. She felt relaxed for the first time in weeks. Ville was feeling better, the online shit storm had been addressed, her time off for her trip to Finland had been approved, and she didn't have to be at work again until Monday. Her only plans for the rest of the week were to make her famous tres leches cake for Thanksgiving dinner at her dad's and finding some way to get Ville's birthday gift to him while he was on the road.

     Ville had told her not to get him anything, assuring her that there was absolutely nothing he needed and he didn't want her spending money on him. Bethany had, of course, ignored him. She hadn't gone overboard, at least not by her standards, buying him a few new T-shirts and books she thought he'd like. She also gotten him his own bag of the specialty coffee she always bought since he'd mentioned how much he liked it when he was visiting. She had thought about overnighting it to whatever hotel he was going to be staying at, but she'd forgotten to ask him for an address. Deciding she'd talk to him about it in the morning, she drifted off easily into sleep.

***

     Bethany had just moved her cake to the cooling rack on top of the stove when there was a knock at the door. Furrowing her brow in confusion, she pulled off her oven mitts and tossed them on the counter before walking into the living room and looking through the peephole in her door. She was surprised to see Cassie Collar standing there until she spotted the familiar makeup bag in her hand. Bethany quickly unlocked the door and opened it.

     "Hey, Cass!" she said, giving the girl a smile.

     "Hey, Bethy," Cassie said, lifting the bag in her hand. "Better late than never right? I meant to get this back to you before now, but I kept forgetting."

     "Oh, it's fine!" Bethany said, taking the bag. "Do you want to come in? I uh... I feel like we should probably talk."

     "Sure," Cassie said, stepping inside the apartment. She shrugged off her coat and hung it by the door, following Bethany into the kitchen. "Wow, something smells amazing in here."

     "My secret weapon dessert," Bethany grinned, pointing at the cake on the stove. "I'm topping it with candied orange slices and pomegranate seeds this year. It's going to be too pretty to eat."

     "Yes, but I'm still calling dibs on a slice," Cassie said, hopping up to sit on an empty section of the counter. "You going to your dad's tomorrow?"

     "Yep," Bethany said, beginning to poke holes in the top of the cake with a fork. "He's just doing a small get together this year. I think it's going to be me, him, my aunt, and my grandparents."

     "I'm supposed to tell you that you're welcome at our dinner," Cassie said, making a face. "I'm guessing you're still a little heated at my mom, though."

     "Just a smidge," Bethany said dryly. "It'll take more than a Thanksgiving dinner to get back in my good graces. You know she called my dad?"

     "Oh, for goodness sake," Cassie groaned, putting her face in her hands. "I'm sorry, Bethy. I don't know why she's so hung up on this. Ville seems perfectly lovely."

     "She's hung up on it because he's not Mason," Bethany sighed, opening the fridge and pulling out the bowl of tres leches sauce. She pulled the plastic wrap off the top and gave it a quick stir with a whisk before slowly pouring it over the cake. "As long as I was single, she felt like I was still her future daughter-in-law, like there was still part of Mason hanging around. I took that away from her, and now she feels like she's lost another piece of him. I get it, but that doesn't mean she had to act the way she did. I don't deserve that, and neither does Ville."

     "Of course," Cassie said, nodding. "I'd say she wants to apologize, but the truth is she probably wants to needle you some more about the whole thing."

     "Which is precisely why I'm not coming to dinner," Bethany said. "Has she heard about the airport pictures fiasco?"

     "Yeah," Cassie said, wincing. "Mary and I have forbidden her from speaking to us about it anymore."

     Bethany made a disgruntled sound as she put the whisk and empty bowl in the sink. "She'll get over it eventually. Or she won't. At this point it's too exhausting to keep caring about it."

     "I feel you," Cassie said, getting down from the counter and moving to stand in front of Bethany. "I just want you to know that Mary and I love you and there are no hard feelings between us. We're glad you're happy and we'll always have your back."

     "Thanks, Cass," Bethany said, pulling the girl into a hug.

     "Anytime, girly," Cassie said, giving Bethany an extra tight squeeze before letting go. "I'd love to hang out longer, but I have to run. We should get together for lunch again soon, you, me, and my sister."

     "That would be nice," Bethany said, smiling. "Maybe we could do some Christmas shopping together, too."

     "Heck yeah!" Cassie said excitedly. "I'll text you after I talk to Mary about it."

     Bethany walked Cassie out and they said their goodbyes. Bethany returned to the kitchen, about to start making the frosting for the cake when her phone chirped in her pocket.

     "Why do you want the hotel address?"

     Bethany read the message and snorted. She'd texted Ville when she woke up to find out where she could send his presents.

Suspicious, much?

Of you, on my birthday? Yes. If you show up in my hotel room my heart might give out.

 I'm not THAT ambitious. Besides, I have to give you time to properly miss me.

I already properly miss you. Now what do you want the address for?

I need to mail you something.

I told you no presents!

And I ignored you! Get used to it!

I'm not telling you.

Fine, I'll send them to your dad's store. I can find that address. He'll figure it out, you'll just get your gifts late.

Ohh fine. I won't have you paying international shipping on top of spending god knows how much money on me already.

You act like I went out and bought you Gucci or something. I assure you, I did not. Let me be nice to you, goddammit!

I'll find out the address and room number and text it to you later. Happy?

Thrilled. Stop being such a grumpy gus, I did it because I love you. Idiot.

I love you too, idiot. Besides spoiling me rotten, what are you up to on your first of many days off?

Baking a cake for dinner at Dad's tomorrow. Then I'll go mail your stuff when you tell me where it's going. After that, absolutely nothing. Sooo much nothing.

Mmm, cake... I'm so hungry right now.

This cake is very not vegan, sorry to disappoint.

I make exceptions for cake. Are you going to send me one with my gifts?

I mean, I could, if you really wanted lol. It should survive since I'm overnighting everything.

No, don't do that. We can make cake together for your birthday when you come visit me, all romantic-like.

I foresee frosting being utilized incorrectly...

Or very correctly, depending on your viewpoint.

I was suggesting we might fling it at each other like overgrown children, for your information!

Okay, and I wasn't. For YOUR information.

I know, and I hate you.

Good, good. Angry sex is fun.

That's why you torment me? So my frustrations can come out in the bedroom?

You have to realize that most of my motivations circle back to the bedroom. I am but a simple man.

That does explain why this is where our text conversations always end up.

Our phone conversations could end up here too, if you'd like.

Absolutely not!

You're no fun. It's my birthday!

You want phone sex for your birthday?

I certainly wouldn't turn it down.

Considering that I would spontaneously combust from embarrassment, it's gonna have to be a no from me.

I don't know why you're embarrassed. We have had actual, real life sex.

We have? Wow, odd that it wasn't more memorable...

No? You get around to washing those sheets yet?

...touché. And YES, I did. I'm not a total goblin.

And here I thought you might keep them dirty for posterity.

That's gross. You're gross. Why do I like you?

A question I ask myself daily.

Don't you have rockstar business to attend to?

I can multitask.

You're being rude to someone besides me right now, is what you're saying.

I'm a rockstar, rudeness is expected.

Well stop it. I have to go finish this cake anyway. Get that address for me please!

Yes, dear. ❤️

Chapter Text

     The time between Thanksgiving and the Christmas season seemed to go by in a blink. Bethany felt like she was sinking in quicksand as her mortuary school workload increased to a ludicrous degree and her hours at the funeral home stretched longer and longer with each passing day. Winter was always "busy season", for obvious reasons, but this year seemed to be particularly nasty.

     Business is booming for the Grim Reaper, Bethany thought darkly, straightening a memory board display in the chapel one mid-December afternoon. There would be a service for yet another sweet older lady struck down by flu season in the morning, and Bethany would be there bright and early to brew the coffee and strategically place boxes of tissues around the chapel and lounge areas. As much as she liked her job, she was beginning to feel the telltale signs of burnout creeping in. The more weary she became, the harder it was becoming to separate the grief of others from her own, which tended to lurk just on the periphery of her thoughts.

     She'd started having nightmares again. Frantic, chaotic flashes of sterile hospital hallways, the cloying smell of lilies (he hated lilies...), a shining walnut casket... Things she thought she'd come to terms with, things she thought she was healing from, all dug open fresh in the dead of night. She'd wake up in a cold sweat, sobbing and nauseated. At this point, Bethany feared sleep.  Her exhaustion did nothing to help her steadily fraying mental state, however, and she found herself wondering when the big snap would finally occur.

     She knew she should talk to someone about it. She'd been too busy to make it to any therapy appointments, not that she'd been going to many before this point anyway. She'd been so distracted by her newfound happiness since meeting Ville that she'd allowed herself to forget that she was, in fact, not all better. Not really. This had been a mistake, she was realizing, and at this point, she felt too embarrassed to tell any of her friends or family that she was starting to sink into the darkness again.

     She certainly didn't want to tell Ville, not that she'd had much of an opportunity to lately anyway. He was even busier than she was, and their conversations since the end of November had become fewer and shorter in length. That wasn't to say they were any less sweet, or that there was anything wrong between them. Things were simply hectic, and that alone was enough to keep Bethany from unloading her private struggles onto Ville. Nevermind the fact that she felt guilty for once again crying every night about Mason. She knew she had no reason to feel guilty, of course. It was natural for mourning to come and go in waves. Talking to Ville about it felt wrong, though, and so when he asked how she was doing, she always told him that she was fine. Either Bethany was a convincing liar, or he was simply too focused on his own concerns to notice the deception, because he never seemed to suspect anything was amiss. Bethany wasn't sure whether she felt relieved or hurt by that.

     "Looks great in here!" came Mr. Franklin's booming voice from behind Bethany. She turned to the older man and smiled tiredly.

     "Thanks," she said, glancing around the chapel. She'd spent most of the morning vacuuming, dusting, and polishing, and she did have to admit that the room was practically sparkling. "I wanted to get as much done as I could before I disappear on you again. I'm sorry my labs keep stealing me away."

     "It's very much expected," Mr. Franklin chuckled. "You're not the first, you won't be the last. The way I see it, it's an investment. You should probably get going, actually. It's starting to snow, and you know how traffic gets when people see a single snowflake on the road."

     "Ugh," Bethany said, wrinkling her nose. "Yeah, I'd better get out ahead of the mess. Thanks, Mr. Franklin. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

     "Yes, ma'am!" Mr. Franklin said, giving Bethany a pat on the shoulder as she walked past him out of the chapel. She went back to the office and collected her things from her desk before pulling on her coat and heading out to the parking lot.

     It was indeed beginning to snow, the sort of pretty snow that showed up in Hallmark movies and Christmas cards. The big, fluffy flakes had only just started accumulating on Bethany's car, for which she was very grateful. Cleaning snow off her car was quite possibly her least favorite part of winter. She unlocked her door and climbed inside, starting the engine and quickly turning up the heat. Just as she was about to put the car in drive, her phone chirped in her pocket. She retrieved it to find a text from Vera.

     "Sooooo I'm thinking drinks tonight? You, me, Vance, and Frankie. Yes/no/maybe?"

     Bethany sighed and leaned her head back against the headrest. On one hand, a night out would probably do her some good. Going home to stew in her brewing depression wasn't a productive use of her time. On the other, drinking when she wasn't in a great headspace could also be a mistake. She considered it for a few moments before deciding not to overthink it and typing her response.

     "That sounds great. I get out of class at 4. It'll take me about an hour to get home, then maybe another hour to wash the embalming funk off of me. So I'm thinking like 7-ish?"

     "Works for me, babe. Moonlight at 7, be there or be square. 😘"

     Bethany smiled slightly and put her phone in the center console, choosing to be optimistic about the evening as she left the funeral home parking lot and headed into the city.

***

     The prep room seemed stuffier than usual to Bethany when she walked in with her classmates, though she supposed that could be blamed on her protective equipment. She was still getting used to having to spend several hours with a full respirator strapped to her face, which was arguably her least favorite part of embalming. She tried to shrug off her discomfort as her professor directed the students to the embalming tables in groups.

     On each table was a body covered in a sheet. Bethany was surprised that a few of her classmates still seemed hesitant to approach them; it seemed kind of late in the game to be squeamish or intimidated. They'd all worked on several deceased by now, and three people had fainted the first couple times. Bethany hadn't been among them, since she was more fascinated than anything else and was fairly decent at compartmentalizing things for the sake of doing a good job.

     That's what she had thought, anyway. Right up until someone in her group pulled the sheet down off of their assigned cadavers's face.

     He wasn't elderly like the others had been. He couldn't have been older than fifty. Though he looked undeniably dead, Bethany could see that he had been handsome in life. Dark, wavy hair, high cheekbones, long, straight nose, angular jaw...

     He looked like Ville.

     Bethany's stomach turned. The stuffiness she'd felt upon entering the room became overwhelming and she felt like she couldn't breathe. She was too hot, everything felt too close, her heart was hammering painfully in her chest. She thought she could hear someone speaking to her, but they sounded so far away...

     Bethany was suddenly aware that she was sitting in the nurse's office. She had no idea how she'd gotten there. Her gown, gloves, and respirator were gone, and she had an ice pack on the back of her neck. She was sitting leaning forward in a plastic chair, a small trash can placed between her feet. It was empty, so she hadn't puked at least. Not here, anyway. She couldn't remember what had happened between starting the lab and this very moment.

     "Ms. Phillips?" Bethany looked up to see an older woman in scrubs looking down at her sympathetically. "Oh, good, you're back with us. How do you feel?"

     "Confused," Bethany said weakly. Her throat felt raw and her eyes were puffy. Had she been crying? "What happened?"

     "You had quite the panic attack," the nurse said gently, sitting in the chair next to Bethany's and placing a hand on her back. "A couple of your classmates had to bring you here from the prep room. Do you remember being there?"

     "Y-yes," Bethany said. "I... The body we were supposed to work on, he... He looked like someone I know."

     "That's what we gathered," the nurse said. "It's alright, this happens more often than you'd think. It's always hard the first time someone looks familiar. Don't beat yourself up, it's very normal."

     "Thank you," Bethany said, putting her face in her hands. "How long have I been here?"

     "About an hour," the nurse replied. "It took you a while to calm down. Would you like to speak to a counselor? Or would you rather just call someone to take you home?"

     "Oh, I can drive myself home," Bethany said, shaking her head.

     "I did have to give you a mild sedative," the nurse said, "so it's probably best that you not drive. Do you have someone you can call?"

     "Yes," Bethany sighed, sitting up and leaning heavily against the back of the chair. "I'll have a friend pick me up."

     "So, you don't want to speak to the counselor?"

     "No, I think I'm okay," Bethany said, avoiding the woman's eyes. "Thank you, though."

     "Of course," the nurse said, getting to her feet. "I'll go grab you a bottle of water and a protein bar, you go ahead and call your friend."

     Bethany watched as the woman left the room, reaching into her pocket and pulling out her cell phone. She dialed Vera's number, surprised when she picked up after only a couple of rings.

     "Hey honey, what's up?"

     "Um... Are you busy?" Bethany asked awkwardly.

     "Not particularly," Vera replied. "Why? What's wrong? You sound terrible."

     "I had a panic attack at school," Bethany sighed, closing her eyes. "A bad one. They had to give me drugs to calm down and they don't want me driving. Could you please come get me?"

     "Holy shit," Vera said softly. "Of course, I'm leaving right now. Fuck, are you okay, Bethy?"

     "I'm fine," Bethany lied. "We can talk about it later, I just want to get out of here."

     "Of course," Vera said, and Bethany could hear her getting into her car. "Give me twenty minutes, babe. I'll be right there. Wait for me at the main gate?"

     "Will do," Bethany said. "Thanks, Vee. I seriously appreciate it."

     "Nothing to thank me for. See you in a bit."

***

     Half an hour later, Bethany was climbing into the passenger seat of Vera's car. Vera immediately leaned across the center console and gave her a tight hug.

     "What happened?" she asked, pulling back and looking into Bethany's eyes. "And don't bullshit me, you look like you saw a ghost."

     "Worse," Bethany mumbled, slouching down in her seat. She leaned her head against the cool window as Vera turned the car to exit the campus.

     "What do you mean?"

     "The body my group was assigned to embalm," Bethany started, feeling her heart rate go up as she spoke, "he looked... He looked like..."

     "Oh god, did he look like Mason?" Vera whispered, glancing over at Bethany.

     "No," Bethany said, wincing. "He looked like Ville."

     "Oh. Oh, honey," Vera said, flipping her turn signal and pulling into a Dunkin' Donuts parking lot. She stopped the car and turned in her seat to face Bethany. "I am so sorry. Christ, what rotten fucking luck you have."

     "Yeah," Bethany agreed, rubbing her forehead. "I totally blacked out, I don't remember anything between the sheet being pulled back and sitting in the nurse's office. I feel like shit though, so it must have been one hell of a meltdown."

     "Maybe you should give Ville a call," Vera suggested. "You know, so your lizard brain knows he's okay and you can fully calm down?"

     "You're probably right," Bethany sighed.

     "Why don't I run in and grab us some drinks, you stay out here and call him," Vera said, grabbing her handbag from behind her seat. "I'll be back in a few." She got out of the car and scurried into the restaurant, clearly eager to get out of the cold. It was snowing harder now, and the wind had picked up considerably.

     Bethany took out her phone and dialed Ville, hoping he was free. They'd been playing a lot of phone tag recently, so she knew better than to get her hopes up.

     "Hey, sweetheart," came Ville's voice over the line after a few moments. "Perfect timing, I was actually planning on calling you."

     "If today had gone according to plan, you sadly would have gotten my voicemail," Bethany laughed weakly. "I was supposed to still be embalming right now."

     "But you're not," Ville said slowly. "What happened? Are you okay?"

     "Physically, yes," Bethany said, pulling her knees up to her chest. "Mentally, no. Not okay at all."

     "What happened?" Ville repeated. Bethany struggled to respond, a hard lump forming in her throat.

     "He looked like you," she finally whispered, tears spilling from her eyes. "The body we were supposed to take care of. He looked so much like you and I- I couldn't- I just lost it and-" She couldn't stop the sob that tore its way out of her throat, and she hugged herself tightly, squeezing her eyes shut.

     "Oh, Bethany," Ville said, "honey, shhh, please. It's alright. It wasn't me, I'm okay. Please don't cry. Fuck, I'm so sorry that happened to you."

     "I don't even remember what happened," Bethany sniffled, trying to catch her breath. "One minute I was looking at him and I felt like the fucking walls were closing in, and the next thing I knew I was sitting with a nurse looking at me like I was the most pitiful thing she'd ever seen. My throat hurts like I was screaming. Like, shit, how bad was it? How much of an ass did I make of myself? In front of everyone!"

     "I'm sure you're not the first," Ville said gently. "And your professors know you lost someone not long ago, right? I highly doubt anyone is judging you for this. This is a hard line of work on the best days, having a bad day is to be expected."

     "But I always hold it together," Bethany said, her anger at herself bubbling up behind the rest of her scrambled emotions. "I never lose it like that, it was totally unprofessional and-"

     "Babe," Ville cut her off, his voice firm. "Stop. You can't be the picture of composure all the time. It happens. We all have days when one little thing is all it takes to send us over the edge, and this wasn't a little thing. You have nothing to feel bad about. I think anyone would have panicked in your shoes."

     "Maybe," Bethany sighed, opening Vera's glovebox and grabbing a pack of tissues. She wiped at her eyes and nose, her hands shaking. "Shit. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dump this on you. I just had to call you, I had to hear your voice."

     "You can always dump things on me," Ville said. "That's what I'm here for. I want you to talk to me, even if it's about things that aren't pleasant. Please know that."

     "I do," Bethany said softly, thinking about how much she'd been holding back from telling him and clenching her teeth. "I just hate adding to your stress."

     "Objectively speaking, my stress doesn't mean shit," Ville laughed. "I have the epitome of first world problems. I can handle having a little extra stress if it's stress that actually means something. If I can do anything to make you feel better, then that's what I want to do. Always. Okay?"

     "Okay," Bethany sniffled, closing her eyes.

     "Do you feel a little better now?" Ville asked.

     "Yeah," Bethany said, managing a smile. "Thank you."

     "Nope, no thanking me. Told you it's my job."

     "Fine," Bethany giggled, looking up when she heard the car doors unlock as Vera approached with their coffees. "Well, I'm going to let you go. Vera came and picked me up from school, and she's coming out of Dunkin' with coffee right now."

     "What gross shit do you drink now that fall is over?" Ville asked snarkily.

     "Peppermint mocha," Bethany said. "Duh."

     "Ah, of course. Silly me."

     "I love you," Bethany said as Vera opened her door, grinning as her friend rolled her eyes.

     "I love you, too," Ville said. "I'll call you tonight."

     "Sounds good," Bethany said, ending the call.

     "Did that help?" Vera asked, handing Bethany her coffee.

     "Yeah," Bethany said, carefully removing the lid from the cup and blowing on the hot coffee inside. "I'm thinking it helped mostly because that's about the longest conversation we've been able to have in a week."

     "I thought you guys talked every night?" Vera said, raising an eyebrow.

     "Yeah, usually to literally say 'I love you' and 'good night' before we both lose consciousness," Bethany laughed, taking a sip of her drink. "We're both running ourselves ragged lately."

     "All the more reason to come out for drinks tonight!" Vera said brightly. "Sit your ass down, shut your brain off, get a little toasty. It'll do your body good."

    "I can't stay out too late," Bethany warned. "I have to work a service at like seven tomorrow morning."

     "Bitch," Vera said, her eyes flashing. "You are calling off."

     "I am not!" Bethany scoffed. "I've never called off! Ever! I refuse to let the first time be because I'm hungover."

     "I'm not telling you to call off because of a hangover," Vera said. "I'm telling you to call off because you just had a dead person induced traumatic experience and maybe spending your day around another dead person tomorrow is a bad idea."

     "I didn't freak out because the guy was dead," Bethany said, rolling her eyes. "I freaked out because he looked like my boyfriend. Somehow I don't think old Mrs. Gregory is going to bear much of a resemblance to the man."

     "Still," Vera said, starting the car. "I think you need to take a day off. No offense, but you're looking a little on the dead side yourself these days."

     "Gosh, thanks," Bethany mumbled into her coffee. She knew Vera was right. No amount of concealer was enough to cover the dark circles she had beneath her eyes. "Fine. I'll call Mr. Franklin when I get home."

     "'Atta girl," Vera said as she pulled back out onto the road. "We'll have fun tonight and you won't have to stress about anything tomorrow."

     "Sounds delightful," Bethany sighed.

***

     "There she is!" Vance said loudly, grinning as he stood up from his seat to pull Bethany into a hug. She smiled and put her arms around him, gently kissing his cheek. Vance was slightly less than average height and solid as a brick wall, and gave arguably some of the best hugs Bethany had ever received. He had his long blonde hair pulled into a bun at the back of his head, looking every bit the hipster writer he'd refuse to admit he was in his red flannel and torn up jeans. Bethany couldn't recall the last time she'd seen him, but he looked exactly how she remembered.

     "Hey, Vance," she said softly as they parted. "It's nice to see you again. Where do you manage to hide all the time?"

     "You mean besides when I'm doing this one's bidding?" Vance asked, jerking a thumb in Vera's direction. "Ah, you know. I hole myself up in my apartment and talk to myself. Occasionally I write something. Occasionally it doesn't get lit on fire in my sink. The usual. You're a rare sight yourself, madam. I started thinking you liked hanging out with corpses more than us."

     "They do tend to be quieter," Bethany quipped, earning her a quiet snort from Frankie who was sitting next to Vera in their booth. "Hey Frankie, hey Vera."

     "What's up?" Frankie said gruffly.

     "You're looking much better," Vera said, flashing her a smile. "Did you do what I said and call the fuck off?"

     "I did," Bethany said, sliding into the booth when Vance gestured for her to. "Mr. Franklin got all worried and wanted to come over to check on me, but he said it's fine if I skip tomorrow."

     "Aww, he's like a protective grandpa," Vera cooed. "Glad he was cool about it."

     "Vera said today was rough," Vance said. "Let me get your first drink. Will it be the usual or do you want something a little stronger?"

     "You know what," Bethany said thoughtfully, "fuck it. Double rum and coke. I don't have anywhere to be."

     "Your wish is my command," Vance grinned before turning and making his way to the bar. Bethany then turned her gaze to Vera, narrowing her eyes.

     "You told everyone I had a meltdown?" she demanded. Vera shrugged and took a sip of her blue cocktail.

     "If by 'everyone' you mean these two, sure," she said. "I figured they should be prepared for you to not be on top of your game tonight."

     "You mean you wanted them to be ready for me to get sloppy drunk and start crying," Bethany said dryly. "Not planning on it. I'm fine. I went home and composed myself, I'm good."

     "You just ordered a double," Frankie pointed out. Bethany shot him a withering look.

     "For fun, not for emotional damage," she said. "Jesus, don't bring me down like this, guys."

     "A drink for you," Vance said, reappearing at the table and sitting next to Bethany, handing her her drink, "and a drink for me!" In his other hand he held an oversized mug of dark beer. Bethany was pretty sure the Moonlight didn't even offer mugs that large, but she knew better than to ask questions.

     "Thanks," she said, taking a long sip through the tiny red straws in her glass. "So, Vance, let's get it out of the way now. Ask all your questions about my love life, I might answer two of them, and no, you cannot use anything I say for your books."

     "You do know how to make a guy smile, Bethy," Vance said, smiling widely. "Hmm, where to start..."

***

     Bethany stood at the back of the chapel, twisting her fingers together anxiously. There was a pit of dread in her chest as she watched the faceless, black-clad mourners filing past the casket at the front of the room. She knew she'd have to do the same, knew she'd have to look and face reality. Mason was gone, he was dead, he was never coming back-

     "Back again?"

     Bethany turned slowly, eyes wide, to find Mason standing behind her. His hair was carefully styled, his face nicely made up but clearly bloodless and waxy. He was in his suit, his funeral suit. But he was standing there, eyes open, staring at her. Speaking to her.

     "What are you doing here?" she whispered, reaching out a hand to touch his face. He stepped back out of her reach, shaking his head.

     "Paying my respects," Mason said, his lip curling almost imperceptibly into a sneer. "Watching you fall apart all over again, in a moment."

     "What are you talking about?" Bethany demanded, confusion creasing her forehead. "This is your funeral. Isn't it?"

     "No," Mason said, turning his eyes to the front of the room. "It's your future."

     Bethany blinked, and suddenly she was standing a few steps away from the casket, its occupant just out of view. Bethany didn't want to get any closer, didn't want to look, but her body was moving on its own. She looked down into the shiny, dark wood box and began to scream.

     Bethany shot straight up in bed, sucking in a huge breath before releasing it in a choked sob. Her head was spinning, likely because she hadn't managed to sleep off her buzz from earlier in the evening, she supposed. Gasping for air, she looked at the clock, seeing that it was only two in the morning. She slowly sank back on her pillows, tears streaming freely down her cheeks. She couldn't find it in herself to bother wiping them away.

     If seeing a man who looked like Ville cold and dead in front of her had been bad, seeing Ville himself that way, even in a dream, was agony. Bethany didn't know what her subconscious was up to, but she did know that she'd had enough of it. Unable to stop herself, she rolled over and grabbed her phone from the bedside table and dialed Ville. She knew he'd be asleep as they'd said good night only hours earlier, but once again she had to hear his voice. The phone rang only once before he picked up.

     "Can't sleep?" he asked slyly. Bethany choked out a laugh despite herself.

     "Oh, I was asleep alright," she mumbled, rubbing a hand over her face. "Thank gods."

     "Bad dream, then?" Ville tried again.

     "Awful," Bethany said softly.

     "Do you want to talk about it?"

     "No," Bethany sighed. "I just wanted to hear you. Why are you still up?"

     "Guess I felt a disturbance in the Force," Ville chuckled. "I just couldn't fall asleep. I've been sitting up reading since we hung up earlier. Good thing, too. I'm very cranky if someone calls and wakes me up."

     "Even if it's me?" Bethany asked.

     "I don't look at the caller ID, I just answer and start swearing," Ville laughed. "People who know me are used to it, people who don't quickly learn their lesson."

     "Thanks for the warning," Bethany snorted.

     "Your feelings wouldn't have been hurt too badly," Ville assured her, "unless you started studying Finnish curse words recently."

     "I know a couple," Bethany said, shaking her head. "Mostly thanks to you."

     "Always happy to help broaden your vocabulary," Ville said. "So, are you okay?"

     "Yeah, I think," Bethany said slowly. "Do you think we could do something kinda lame?"

     "I love to do things that are lame."

     "Can we stay on the phone while we sleep?" Bethany asked, feeling her face heat.

     "Awww, cute," Ville said, his smile audible in his voice. "Sure. I'm not on the bus tonight so the call shouldn't drop or anything. Maybe it'll help me sleep, too."

     "Thanks," Bethany said, curling up on her side. She heard Ville shuffling around on his end for a moment before he let out a contented sigh.

     "Alright," he said, "I'm in bed. Ready to try this again?"

     "Yeah," Bethany smiled. "Good night, Ville. I love you."

     "Good night, darling. I love you too."

Chapter Text

*January 14th, 2024*

    Bethany chewed her thumbnail anxiously as she scrolled on her phone, the minutes passing at a glacial pace. She'd gotten to the airport perhaps a bit too early, paranoid as she was about missing her flight. She'd been sitting in the lounge area for two hours, feeling like she might burst from excitement and nerves. She still had about half an hour before boarding began, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to stand it much longer.

     She'd been literally counting down the days to her trip to Finland since the beginning of December, crossing each date off the calendar with equal parts longing and frustration. Her stress levels had remained through the roof for the entirety of the holiday season, which had culminated in wanting nothing more than to get the hell away from everyone and everything at home. After the incident during the embalming lab, Bethany had been struggling more and more with school, finally requesting a break from her professors. They hadn't been thrilled about it, but they had approved it. She wasn't expected back until spring, and really that was just fine with her.

     Things at the funeral home hadn't been going much better. Bethany had found herself distracted, becoming forgetful and making careless mistakes. While at first everyone had been understanding, by the time the new year had rolled around Bethany could practically feel everyone's irritation with her rising and she was incredibly grateful that she was taking a leave of absence. She was embarrassed that she'd been falling apart so spectacularly, but she didn't know how to stop. Truthfully, she didn't know if she could.

     The feeling that perhaps she was on the wrong career path was creeping into the back of Bethany's mind. Maybe it had been the right place for her when she started, before Mason had died. Now it seemed like the constant close proximity to death and its trappings was only serving to make her mental and emotional state worse, not better. She'd hoped that sticking it out would be healing, that she'd learn to survive her grief by helping others through theirs. She wasn't sure that had been her brightest idea. Even so, the thought of backing out now, after all the time and money she'd spent pursuing this work, made her stomach turn. It seemed like such a waste, and trying to start over with something else entirely was such a daunting prospect that she couldn't bear to entertain the thought for long.

     Bethany had resolved to hold off on making any drastic decisions on the matter until after her vacation, hoping that time with Ville and the chance to decompress might help her step back from the proverbial edge. Time away from everything would help to clear her head, or so she hoped. Or maybe she'd simply stay in Finland forever, never going back home and hiding from the whole clusterfuck entirely. That was an option, wasn't it?

     Just as she was considering getting up to get another coffee that she absolutely did not need, Bethany's phone began to ring in her hand. The caller ID showed that it was her dad, and Bethany happily accepted the call, assuming he was calling to wish her safe travels.

     "Hey, Dad," she said, smiling. "Just in time, I'll be getting on the plane in about fifteen minutes."

     "Bethy, about that..." Carson sighed. "Something has come up. Is there any way you could postpone this trip?"

     "What?" Bethany said, brow furrowing. "Why? What's going on? Are you okay?"

     "I'm fine," Carson said wearily. "It's your mother. Apparently she went on a bit of a bender and got into some trouble with the police. I've been on the phone with her lawyer all morning. The short version of things is that she needs to go somewhere for treatment if she wants to stay out of jail."

     "Fucking hell," Bethany muttered, rubbing her forehead. "Obviously that sucks, but what does that have to do with me?"

     "Her options are either inpatient at a state facility, or outpatient while staying with someone who will keep her on track," Carson said. "Her lawyer asked me, but you know as well as I do that having her stay here would be a disaster. You, on the other hand, might have better luck."

     "You're joking, right?" Bethany asked. "You want me to babysit her and take her to AA meetings?"

     "She needs help, Bethy," Carson said, "and the state hospitals in her area aren't exactly stellar. I'd feel better if she did a program around here with the support of family."

     "If you feel so strongly about it, then you can take her in and deal with it!" Bethany said sharply. "She's not my responsibility, Dad. She's not yours either but if you care that much, you should take care of her."

     "Bethany, she's your mother-"

     "In the sense that she physically birthed me, sure," Bethany said. "She didn't do much mothering after that. I hate to say it, but I don't owe her anything. She got herself into whatever mess this is, she can deal with the fallout. I'm not going to put my life on hold to keep her out of trouble. It's not my problem."

     "That's unkind of you, Bethany," Carson said sternly. "You're the only family she has that she might actually cooperate with. Can't you at least try?"

     "No, I can't," Bethany said hotly. "I am at the end of my fucking rope right now, Dad. The last thing I need is to deal with this on top of everything else. I'm not doing it. If you won't take her in, tell her lawyer to counsel her to go to the state hospital. I'm sorry if this makes me an asshole, but I'm getting on this plane whether you like it or not. I love you. I'll let you know when I get to Ville's." And with that she hung up, shaking her head in disgust.

     How else did he think I'd respond to that? she thought, pinching the bridge of her nose. She loved her father, truly she did, but one thing she loathed about him was his inability to deal with his ex-wife on his own. This wasn't the first time Cassandra had had a problem and he'd passed her off to someone else with the lame excuse of "we just don't get along". Bethany refused to be the backup this time, no matter how poorly it reflected on her. She had a goddamned flight to catch.

***

     It was about seven in the morning in Finland when Bethany's flight landed, and it was still dark outside. She didn't think her body had ever felt more confused in her entire life. Ville had warned her it was going to be weird, but she hadn't anticipated it being this weird.

     She'd collected her suitcase and found the taxi Ville had called for her without trouble, and as she sat in the backseat she found herself struggling to keep her eyes open. As far as her internal clock was concerned, it was time for bed and it had been a long day. She pulled out her phone and called Ville, hoping a conversation would keep her from passing out.

     "I'm guessing you made it in one piece?" he said when he picked up the phone.

     "Maybe? I think my brain is still in America," Bethany said, stifling a yawn.

     "Oh, yeah," Ville laughed. "I told you to sleep on the plane!"

     "I couldn't," Bethany sighed. "I even took Benedryl, probably more than I should have. I was a bit wired on coffee and maybe a touch of rage by the time I boarded..."

     "Rage? Why?"

     "Ugh, I'll tell you when I get to your place," Bethany muttered. "I won't subject my very nice cab driver to my ranting."

     "Oh, but you'll subject me to it," Ville teased. "Lucky me."

     "You're the one who wants me to tell him everything," Bethany pointed out. "And tell you everything I shall. Maybe after more coffee. Please tell me there's coffee."

     "I'll meet you out front with a giant thermos, don't you worry."

     "My hero," Bethany cooed, smiling and leaning her head back sleepily. "See you in a few."

     "Can't wait."

     About half an hour later, the cab turned onto a remarkably well-hidden driveway that wound its way through some trees, coming to stop at a tall iron gate. Standing in front of the gate was Ville, bundled up thoroughly against the snow with the thermos of coffee he'd promised Bethany in his hands. He walked over to the cab driver's door, exchanging pleasantries in Finnish before passing the man a handful of cash. The driver popped the trunk as Ville came to Bethany's door, opening it for her and flashing her a smile.

     "Hey, you," he said, offering her his hand. Bethany grinned and took it, allowing him to pull her out of the car. Ville shut the door behind her and pulled her close for a long, gentle kiss. Bethany squeaked at how cold his nose was pressed against hers.

     "Jesus, how long have you been waiting out here?" she laughed, pushing him away a little.

     "Not that long," he said, holding the coffee out to her. "Here, you take this, I'll get your stuff. Careful on the walkway, I shoveled and salted it, but it's still sort of a deathtrap."

     "Thanks," Bethany said, taking the giant mug and flipping the lid open. Immediately she smelled peppermint. "Aww, did you get my gross coffee fixings for me?"

     "The things I do for love," Ville said, giving her a wink as he pulled her suitcase out of the trunk of the car before closing it and giving it a tap to let the driver know he was good to leave. Bethany stepped back and started toward the gate, Ville catching up quickly and falling into step beside her.

     They made their way carefully up to the house, which was surprisingly modern and not as large as Bethany had expected. They both stomped the snow off their boots and Ville opened the door, motioning for Bethany to go inside ahead of him. Inside was pleasantly warm and inviting, all light wood tones and soft, cozy lights. The ceiling in the entryway was incredibly high, and a pretty but understated glass chandelier hung from the center of it.

     "So, what do you think?" Ville asked, kicking his boots off carelessly into the corner by the door. Bethany snorted and took hers off more gracefully, placing them neatly in the cubby where shoes were meant to go and giving him a meaningful look. He shrugged in a way that clearly said 'What? It's my house'. Bethany rolled her eyes.

     "It's definitely not what I expected," she said, putting her coffee down on the small table by the shoe cubby and walking further inside. She poked her head in a doorway on the left. It led to a living room which housed a large wall mounted TV, a comfy looking gray sectional couch, and wall-to-wall bookshelves. The coffee table in the center of the room was cluttered with notebooks, pens, and a handful of books.

     "And what did you expect?" Ville asked, poking her in the ribs. "Dracula's castle?"

     "You did live in a tower once," Bethany said, going to poke him back only to have him catch her wrist and push her back against the doorframe. She giggled and let him cage her in, looking up at him innocently.

     "That was my edgy teenager dream house," he said, taking Bethany's other hand and bringing them both up to rest on the back of his neck. "This is my grown-up, responsible adult house. Boring, I know."

     "It's not boring," Bethany said, scratching her nails gently against the hair at the nape of his neck. He was still wearing his beanie, but something felt different. She raised an eyebrow and pulled the hat off his head, gasping in surprise. "You cut your hair!"

     "And that's my boring, grown-up haircut," Ville laughed, running a hand over his short hair. "Do you hate it?"

     "Actually, no," Bethany said, reaching up to run her fingers through it. "Okay, maybe a little. But only because now I have nothing to pull on later."

     "Oh, I hadn't thought of that," Ville said, his face falling in disappointment. "Damn. Oh, well, not like I can put it back. Guess you have to stay longer and wait for it to grow out."

     "That's totally a valid reason to request an extension on my vacation time," Bethany laughed. "'Sorry, can't come back to work yet, my boyfriend's hair still isn't long enough to yank on during sex. See you in a couple months!'"

     "I'd approve it," Ville grinned, leaning down to kiss Bethany's neck.

     "You'd be a terrible boss," Bethany said, closing her eyes when she felt Ville's teeth scrape against her skin.

     "Mm, true," he agreed, nuzzling against her shoulder. "It's a wonder I held a band together for over twenty years."

     "That's just because you probably have enough blackmail material on those poor bastards to ruin every day of the rest of their lives if you really wanted," Bethany giggled.

     "They have twice as much on me," Ville said, standing up straight again. "It's a mutually assured destruction situation. I think maybe they just kinda like me, for some unfathomable reason. Much like you seem to."

     "You have your charms," Bethany said, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest. "Fuck, I missed you."

     "I missed you, too," Ville said, hugging her tightly. "I don't think I've ever missed anyone that much before in my life."

     "Same," Bethany said softly, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. She felt inexplicably like she was going to cry. She supposed it was a combination of stress, exhaustion, and the absolute relief she felt now that she was back in Ville's arms. She sighed as she felt him pull her hat off of her head followed by his fingers gently carding through her hair.

     "Yours is getting long," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

     "I haven't had the time to do anything with it," Bethany chuckled. "I also just haven't really cared much. My roots are an atrocity, I know."

     "I like your natural color," Ville said. "You should let it grow out."

     "It's just brown," Bethany mumbled against his jacket. "Nothing fun about that."

     "It's you. I like you the way you are."

     "So sweet," Bethany said, looking up at him. He was watching her with a mixture of love and concern, and it made her look away again. "I'm sorry for being a little out of it. I am so unbelievably tired."

     "I can tell," Ville said kissing her forehead. "I'm going to tell you right now that going to sleep for real is a huge mistake, but I don't think a nap will hurt. Wanna go up to bed?"

     "More than anything in this world," Bethany groaned. Ville laughed and, to Bethany's immense shock, scooped her up in his arms and started up the stairs. "Hey! Put me down, you're going to hurt yourself."

     "Oh, shut up," Ville said, digging his fingers slightly into her ribs. "You're not even heavy."

     He took her up the stairs and down a hallway, nudging the door at the end open with his foot. Once inside, he tossed her gently onto his bed, grinning at the quiet 'oof' sound she made when she landed on the mattress. Bethany looked around, a smile slowly spreading over her face. This was more what she had expected from Ville's house. The walls were painted a dark gray color, and deep red velvet curtains hung from the windows. The bed was a four poster with a canopy and curtains made of the same material and the mattress was covered with black silk sheets. A fluffy faux fur comforter lay folded at the foot of the bed, and Bethany was quite excited by the idea of taking a nap snuggled up beneath it.

     "Okay, so there are some things being a tired old bastard didn't break me of entirely," Ville said, grinning at her as he finally shed his coat and scarf. "I let myself have a ridiculous bedroom under the assumption I'd probably be the only one to ever see it."

     "You really thought you were doomed to die a bachelor, huh?" Bethany said, sitting up and pulling off her own coat, handing it to Ville when he reached for it.

     "I seemed pretty cursed for a while, there," he said, putting their jackets on a leather armchair in the corner by yet another overstuffed bookshelf. He walked back over and fell onto the bed next to Bethany, turning his head to look at her. "Hopefully I'm not anymore."

     "I don't think you ever were," Bethany said, laying down on her side to face him. She reached up and put her hand on his cheek, rubbing her thumb gently beneath his eye. "You just hadn't met the right person yet."

     "I hadn't met you yet, you mean," Ville said, smirking. "So cocky."

     "If the shoe fits," Bethany said, smiling tiredly. She could hardly keep her eyes open. Ville sat up and grabbed the comforter, unfolding it and throwing it over the both of them before laying back down and pulling Bethany close.

     "I love you," he said, kissing the top of her head.

     "I love you, too," Bethany murmured, pressing her face against his chest. He was so warm, and his scent was so familiar and comforting. Part of her didn't want to fall asleep just so she could enjoy being in this moment, but the rest of her was already halfway there...

     buzz buzz

     Bethany whimpered quietly as her phone vibrated in her back pocket. She started to reach for it, but Ville lightly smacked her hand and retrieved it instead. He glanced at the screen and grunted.

     "I was going to tell you to ignore it until later, but it's a text from your dad."

     "Lovely," Bethany grumbled. "What does it say?"

     "He wants to know if you made it here okay."

     "Text back 'yes'," Bethany instructed him. "Just 'yes', one word. Add a period at the end for tone."

     "Ooo-kay..." Ville said slowly, doing as she asked before turning and putting the phone on the bedside table. "Is there a problem?"

     "It has to do with my rage," Bethany said, rolling her eyes. "I don't have the energy to get into it right now."

     "Alright," Ville said, returning to his previous position beside Bethany, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "We are definitely talking about it later."

     "Yeah, yeah," Bethany yawned, letting her eyes fall closed once more. "Later."

***

     Bethany woke up to the feeling of warm hands gliding slowly up and down her back beneath her shirt. She hummed happily into the pillow beneath her head.

     "I could get used to waking up like this," she said, turning her head to look at Ville over her shoulder.

     "Yeah?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "I'd do it for you every day if it meant you'd stay."

     "Don't start with that," Bethany groaned, both because she didn't want to have that conversation and because Ville had just pressed his thumbs into a tight spot between her shoulder blades. "You know I can't stay."

     "Says who?" Ville said, scratching his nails slowly down Bethany's back and making her shiver. "I can take care of you. You'd never have to worry about anything ever again."

     "Do not tempt me," Bethany sighed. "You're supposed to encourage me to sack up and be a strong, self-sufficient woman, not give me the option to be a pampered housewife."

     "What gave you that idea?" Ville laughed. "I'm a much better bad influence than motivational speaker."

     "Well, someone needs to tell me to get my shit together," Bethany said dully. "Don't know if you've caught on, but I'm a hot mess right now."

     "I am starting to get that impression, yes," Ville said, one hand leaving her back to gently stroke her hair. "You haven't been telling me everything that's been going on, have you?"

     "It's easier to hide over the phone," Bethany mumbled. "I didn't want to worry you."

     "I told you-"

     "I know what you told me," Bethany interrupted. She tried to get out from underneath him, but Ville sat on her butt with his full weight and continued on as he had been, his fingers moving to massage her shoulders.

     "Nope, you didn't listen to me, so you get punished," he said.

     "My punishment is a back rub?" Bethany laughed. "Oh, no! What a torment."

     "Your punishment is not being able to get up and argue with me properly," Ville said, giving her hair a gentle tug. "Because I know that's what you were about to do. Can't argue with me if I keep making you make sex noises."

     "I'm not making sex n- ohhh..." Ville's fingers had pressed deep into the back of Bethany's neck, and she was pretty sure that sensation was better than an orgasm. Damn him.

     "No, not at all," he chuckled. "So, are you going to tell me what has you all wound up now?"

     "Where would you like me to start?" Bethany huffed, knowing she might as well accept defeat. "The work burnout? The school burnout? The sense that maybe I've wasted my precious time and energy trying to work in the funeral industry because I can't get over my boyfriend dying? The related nightmares? Or, more recently, my father's insistence that I be my mother's babysitter instead of coming to see you?"

     "Uh, wow," Ville said, his hands slowing on Bethany's shoulders. "Beth, why haven't you told me any of this?"

     "We've both been too busy to talk," Bethany said. "Besides, most of it circles back to Mason, and I really don't like to talk about him with you. It feels gross."

     "I don't mind," Ville said gently, getting off of Bethany and sitting beside her on the bed. "You know I don't. It doesn't upset me that you still think about him. I don't know what I'd do if I lost the person I loved like that. It's not like a break up where someone chose an ending and you can eventually come to understand it. This is messy and it doesn't heal cleanly, and I get that. I want to be there for you when it hurts."

     "You're not my therapist," Bethany said, avoiding his eyes. She looked instead at the window across the room, where muted gray sunlight was finally streaming in through the gap in the curtains. She wondered how long he'd let her sleep.

     "No, but I love you," Ville said, tilting her chin up so she had to look at him. "I don't want you to deal with this alone."

     "Fine," Bethany said softly, sitting up and stretching her arms above her head. Her back really did feel better than it had in a while; she hadn't even noticed how tense she'd been. "I started having dreams about when he died again. About being at the hospital, his funeral, everything. They'd been getting less frequent for a while, but the more stressed I got at work and school the more they started coming back. Then I'd be tired from sleeping like shit, which made everything else worse. It's been a shitty couple of months."

     "Don't you have an actual therapist?" Ville asked. "I feel like you mentioned that you did before. Have you been going to see them?"

     "No time," Bethany shrugged. "You know what my schedule is like. Winter blows in the funeral business, hard. I already have to take off weird chunks of time to go to class. Doctor appointments aren't exactly top priority."

     "Aren't video visits a common thing these days? Why not do those on lunch breaks or something?"

     "Stop poking holes in my excuses," Bethany said, making a face.

     "I thought I was supposed to help you be responsible," Ville said, raising an eyebrow. "You're really sending me mixed signals today."

     "You're so annoying," Bethany said, gently pinching Ville's arm. "Okay, fine, I haven't talked to my therapist because I'm embarrassed that I'm not doing so great again. I thought I was over everything but I'm not and I feel stupid."

     "You're not stupid," Ville said. "It's normal to go back and forth between feeling better and feeling shitty. I'm sure your therapist knows that, seeing as they're a therapist and all."

     "Yeah," Bethany said, hugging her knees to her chest. "I know. I'm mad at myself, that's all. I just wanted to be happy again, and now I'm not. Or, at least, not as happy as I want to be."

     "Are you happy to be here with me?" Ville asked.

     "Happier than I've been since the night I took you to the airport," Bethany said softly.

     "Maybe that's enough for now," Ville said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Bethany's temple. "I'll be honest, I haven't been feeling so great lately either."

     "Ah, so that's a depression haircut, then?" Bethany said, reaching up to gently scratch the top of Ville's head. He huffed out a laugh and shrugged.

     "Better than letting it turn into a rat's nest like I usually do."

     "Why are you feeling crummy?" Bethany asked. Ville heaved a sigh and closed his eyes.

     "I think I want to retire," he said after a long pause. "For good, this time."

     "Really?" Bethany said, lifting her head from where it had been resting on her knees.

     "Really," Ville said, chewing on his lower lip. "This tour made me realize some things. Like the fact that I have physical limits, and they're a lot less forgiving than they used to be. I miss being home more than I used to. I don't deal with public scrutiny as well anymore. I want to... I don't know, be normal, I guess? As normal as I can be, anyway."

     "Do you still want to make music?"

     "They can pry the guitar from my cold, dead hands," Ville said, smiling. "I'll always make music. I think I'll just stay home most of the time when I do it."

     "I think you've earned that," Bethany said, pulling Ville into a hug. He hugged her back, nuzzling into her neck. "I'm sorry this tour was so hard on you."

     "It's okay," Ville said. "It's over, and now I'm home and I have a beautiful woman in my bed. I can't really think of anything that would make me happier than that at the moment."

     "Oh, you," Bethany giggled, laying back down and pulling Ville on top of her. He went willingly, holding himself up over her on his elbows.

     "I still have one more bummer question for you, though," he said. "What the hell happened with your dad? And your mom, apparently?"

     "Ugh," Bethany grunted. "Do I have to talk about my parents while you're on top of me?"

     "I can move, if you'd prefer," Ville said, starting to tip over sideways.

     "Don't even think about it," Bethany said, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist to trap him. She sighed and stared up at the canopy over the bed, gritting her teeth as she recalled her dad's phone call. "Dad called me right before I got on the plane. I guess Mom went on a bender and got into some legal trouble. Her lawyer said she either needs to go in somewhere for treatment, or she's going to jail."

     "Yikes," Ville said, wincing.

     "Yeah, it's not great," Bethany said. "What's even less great, is that as far as her going to rehab goes, she can either go inpatient in a state facility, or she can do outpatient if she stays with someone who can basically act as her guardian for the duration. Her lawyer asked Dad but he refuses to put up with her, so he called to ask me if I'd do it. He wanted me to cancel my trip to take Mom in while she goes to rehab. I said no."

     "Damn," Ville said quietly. Bethany nodded, her eyes returning to his face. He looked at her sympathetically and gave her a soft kiss. "You weren't wrong to say no, Beth. I hope you know that."

     "I do," Bethany said. "Doesn't stop me from feeling bad about it, though."

     "I know," Ville said, kissing her again. "I can think of ways take your mind off it, if you'd like..."

     "As incredible as that sounds, I am in desperate need of a shower," Bethany laughed as Ville growled and kissed his way down her neck.

     "Don't care," he mumbled against her skin. "Shower after."

     "You make a good argument," Bethany said, lifting up to let Ville pull her shirt over her head. His lips had just returned to her throat when the sound of the doorbell chimed from downstairs and he froze in place.

     "They're dead to me," he said quietly, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. "Whoever is at that door is dead to me."

     "Go," Bethany giggled, giving his shoulders a gentle push. "I'm going to get a shower. I promise we'll pick this back up later."

     Ville made a funny noise halfway between a whine and a shout of frustration and rolled off the bed, stalking out of the room before answering another ring of the doorbell by yelling something in Finnish as he headed down the stairs. Bethany grinned and shook her head, looking around the room and spotting her suitcase by the door. Ville must have brought it up while she was sleeping. She got up and went over to it, pulling out her toiletry bag and a change of clothes before walking across the room to the closed door she was guessing led to the master bathroom.

     "Oh, for the love of..."

     Bethany flicked the light switch next to the door. The overhead light was an electric chandelier made to look like an old gothic style one, fake candles and all. Half of them flickered convincingly while the rest were solid and bright enough to light the whole room. The walls were white marble and the countertop that housed the sink was black with silver hardware. The mirror above the counter was huge, surrounded by an intricate silver frame and topped with vanity lights that had their own separate switch.

     The truly outrageous feature of the room was the clawfoot tub that stood opposite the door. The outside was black while the inside was white porcelain, and there was a dark purple ruffled silk shower curtain that wrapped all the way around it. There was a cast iron shelving unit nearby that housed towels and washcloths, all black, naturally. Bethany laughed softly and closed and locked the door behind her as she set about taking advantage of his infernal majesty's unnecessarily luxurious shower.

     After washing the airport grime off to her satisfaction and getting dressed, Bethany made her way downstairs, following the sound of male voices coming from a room off to the left. She wound up in the kitchen, where she found Ville leaning against the counter while he talked to a couple of very familiar gentlemen.

     "Oh, good," she said, announcing her presence. "Everyone's still alive. It wouldn't have looked great if you'd killed your former bandmates in cold blood." Ville snorted as Mige and Linde turned to look at her, both smiling and giving her friendly waves.

     "They got a pass because they did try to call me first," Ville said with a shrug. "I forgot my phone downstairs when I came up to wake you."

     "So, you're the lovely Bethany we've heard so much about," Mige said, standing up and walking over to offer Bethany his hand.

     "And you're Mige," she grinned, shaking his hand. Linde appeared behind him and she shook his hand as well. "And Linde. It's great to finally meet you guys."

     "It's good to meet you too," Linde said quietly, giving her a small smile. "Ville never shuts up about you."

     "Compared to you, any amount of talking seems like never shutting up," Ville said, his cheeks turning pink. He looked at Bethany and motioned over at the counter. "They brought food, if you're hungry."

     "Starving," Bethany admitted, going over and peeking inside the plastic bags to find an assortment of doughnuts. "Aww, you guys know the way to my heart already. You'd get along great with my friend Vera."

     "That's the one who likes to let herself into Beth's apartment without an invitation," Ville said, picking up his cup of coffee. "Food is her method of apology."

     "He says, as if he has never pulled that exact same bullshit on us a day in his life," Mige snorted, giving Bethany's arm a nudge with his shoulder as he returned to his seat. "He didn't even bring us food, just walked in like he owned the place and started bossing us around."

     "I took my key away from him after the first time," Linde said, grabbing a doughnut with sprinkles out of the bag for himself.

     "He stopped after the third time he walked in on me getting busy with a girl," Mige snickered, causing Ville to heave a tired sigh.

     "It took you three times to learn your lesson?" Bethany asked, finally finding a maple doughnut and taking a giant bite.

     "This was before everyone had cellphones," Ville muttered. "And some people would leave their landlines off the hook so I couldn't call them."

     "Because you were annoying," Linde said.

     "Oh, I'm sorry I wanted us to actually get work done on occasion," Ville said sarcastically. "How unbelievably rude of me."

     "You're always rude," Mige said, giving Ville's leg a playful kick. "If we didn't find ways to cope we would have left your ass before the new millennium."

     "Would not," Ville mumbled into his coffee.

     "So, what made you guys come by today?" Bethany asked, going over to stand beside Ville. She smiled when he immediately put his arm around her.

     "As annoying as Ville is, we did miss the fucker," Mige said with a grin. "And we wanted to see if you were real or just a figment of his lonely imagination."

     "There's plenty of photographic evidence that I'm real," Bethany said, rolling her eyes.

     "Could have been a publicity stunt!" Mige laughed. "Wouldn't be the first time he got all smoochy with a Pennsylvanian for attention..."

     "We are not going there," Ville said, glaring at Mige. "And that wasn't for attention, that was because I had about two sober braincells at the time."

     "Thought we weren't going there," Mige said slyly.

     "We're not!" Ville said indignantly. "I'm just defending myself."

     "Aww, stop picking on him," Bethany admonished, though she was struggling to stifle her giggles.

     "They do this every time I get a girlfriend," Ville sighed. "Just let them get it out of their systems."

     "We have to disabuse you of any notion that he's Prince Charming," Mige explained.

     "It's for your own good," Linde chimed in. "If you survive this experience, you're probably a keeper."

     "You're not going to scare me away," Bethany said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I've already decided I'm pretty fond of him."

     "My condolences," Mige snickered, earning him a swift kick to the shin from Ville. "Hey, hey! Easy there, killer. I bruise easily!"

     "I'll give you a bruise, alright," Ville said, narrowing his eyes. "Don't make me throw you out."

     "I'd like to see you try," Linde snorted. "Who's always had us defend his skinny ass in fights?"

     "Usually fights he started," Mige said, making a sweeping gesture in Ville's direction.

     "Maybe I was just conserving my energy all these years," Ville said, "you know, so I would one day be strong enough to toss the two of you into a snowbank."

     "I think I know how kindergarten teachers feel now," Bethany said, shaking her head. "Do we need to sit on the floor and have quiet time, boys?"

     "You ain't seen nothin' yet," Mige said, giving her a wink. "Welcome to the shitshow, Bethany."

Chapter Text

     Linde and Mige didn't stay long, maybe an hour or so. Long enough to tell Bethany a dozen embarrassing stories about Ville, who looked increasingly murderous as time went on. Bethany could tell he wasn't truly upset though, just committing to the bit. Bethany suggested they form a comedy troupe in lieu of having a reunion tour in the future, which seemed to delight Mige more than it should have. In fact he was still trying to talk Linde into creating a mime routine even as Ville was practically shoving them out the door.

     Once they had indeed left, Bethany set about cleaning up in the kitchen. She swept the doughnut crumbs off the counter and table, collecting them in the empty bag along with the takeout coffee cups. She was just about to toss the bag into the trash when a pair of arms snaked around her waist.

     "I didn't bring you here to do chores," Ville said in her ear. Bethany giggled and threw the garbage away before turning around and wrapping her arms around his neck.

     "You do plan on trying to convince me to be a kept woman," she teased. "Might as well practice my wifely duties."

     "Cleaning is not the sort of wifely duty I want you practicing right now," Ville said, pushing Bethany backwards until her lower back met the counter behind her. "We were in the middle of something before my friends so rudely interrupted..."

     "Were we?" Bethany asked, tilting her head. "Strange, I don't recall what that might have been."

     "No?" Ville put his hands on the countertop on either side of Bethany and kissed her, pressing his hips firmly against hers and rocking them slowly. Bethany moaned softly, feeling that he was hard where he moved against her.

     "I might remember now," she breathed against his lips, scratching her nails lightly up his neck and into his hair. Ville groaned, his hips jerking slightly in response.

     "You have no idea how much I've been thinking about this since I left Pennsylvania," he said, his lips ghosting down Bethany's neck. "I think we should go upstairs. Now. I believe I have a score to even out."

     "I thought it wasn't a competition?" Bethany said, giving his ear a playful tug. Ville snorted, then suddenly he was picking Bethany up, almost slinging her all the way over his shoulder. Bethany squealed and held tightly to the back of his shirt, giggling as he carried her out of the kitchen and headed for the stairs.

***

     A couple of hours later, Bethany lay boneless in Ville's bed, eyes closed and smiling dopily. Ville turned on his side next to her, snickering quietly.

     "I'm in the lead," he taunted, tickling her slightly sweaty side. She scoffed and gently swatted his hand away, shooting him a look.

     "That can be easily rectified," she said, running her hand slowly over his bare hip.

     "Not for several hours at least," Ville laughed, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips, kissing her fingertips softly. "You tired me out."

     "Aww, poor baby," Bethany cooed, rolling over so she was half draped across Ville's chest. She pressed her lips gently against his, humming appreciatively when Ville's fingers buried themselves in her hair at the back of her head.

     "Poor baby, indeed," Ville said, falling back onto the pillows. He stretched his arms above his head, sighing quietly as his shoulders popped in several different places. "I don't know about you, but I could go for a bath."

     "Plenty of room for both of us in that giant tub of yours," Bethany grinned, sitting up and carefully climbing over him to stand next to the bed.

     "Found that amusing, did you?" Ville asked, pushing himself up and off the bed and giving Bethany a gentle push toward the bathroom. "It's where I do my best thinking. I might as well be comfortable while I do it."

     Bethany smiled and leaned against the wall, watching as Ville turned on the water and pulled the stopper on the bathtub drain. She was struck once again by his beauty, admiring the way the warm glow from the overhead light lit his skin in contrast to his dark tattoos. He looked at her over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow.

     "What are you thinking about?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Bethany shook her head and walked over to him, pulling his arms open and hugging him tightly.

     "How lucky I am," she said, nuzzling against his collarbone. "Sometimes I still can't believe this is happening."

     "I'm not that special," Ville said softly, rubbing his hands up and down Bethany's back.

     "You are to me," Bethany said, looking up at him. He smiled down at her, but he looked sad. Bethany reached up and held his face in her hands, gently stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "What's wrong?"

     "Ah... It's nothing," Ville said, kissing her forehead. "Selfishness. I'm alright."

     "You're not," Bethany whispered, letting her hands fall to his shoulders. She squeezed gently, feeling the tightness in his muscles. He groaned quietly, his head resting on top of hers. "Talk to me?"

     "I meant what I said," he said quietly, holding her more tightly against him and swaying them both slowly back and forth. "I want you to stay. I don't want to be alone anymore. I thought I could handle it, because I always have, but... I can't. I want to have a home. A real home. For me, having the person I love with me makes this place home."

     "Ville..." Bethany sighed, closing her eyes. He sounded so sad, and so, so earnest. Her heart was squeezing painfully in her chest. "I think it's still too soon. We don't know... We don't know if we're really good for each other, no matter what it seems like right now. You know that."

     "I know that I love you," Ville said, kissing the top of her head. "I know that I want you here. Can't that be enough?"

     "I have my own life back home," Bethany said, pulling back a little to look at him once more. She almost wished she hadn't; he had the most serious case of puppy dog eyes she'd ever seen. "I can't just abandon everything, as tempting as it is right now. I have people depending on me, I have people who love me back home. I can't just up and leave. Could you pick up tomorrow and come to stay in America, just because I wanted you to?"

     "I would," Ville said immediately. Bethany laughed softly and shook her head.

     "You wouldn't," she said. "You'd be leaving your mom and dad, and your brother, and all your friends. And whether you want to continue your career the same way you have been or not, your music connections are here. Your life is here. You couldn't just walk away."

     "I... I guess you're right," Ville said, his gaze falling to the half filled tub next to them. "See? I told you I was being selfish."

     "It's okay to be selfish," Bethany assured him, touching his face and turning it to look back at her. "I am too. I want to be with you. It just can't be that way right now. Not yet."

     "When?" Ville asked, his eyes shining. He blinked, looking annoyed with himself. A single tear snuck past his lashes, and Bethany swallowed the lump that formed in her throat as she gently wiped it away.

     "If I stay in mortuary school, a couple more years," she said, hating the words even as she said them.

     "If?"

     "I... I don't know what I'm doing anymore," Bethany admitted, stepping away to shut off the tub faucet. She braced her hands on the edge of the tub and hung her head tiredly. "I requested a break before I left. To think things over. I'm not expected back until spring... If I go back at all." She let out a shaky breath when she felt Ville's calloused fingers caressing her back, drawing soothing spirals up and down her spine. She was surprised when tears fell from her eyes, dropping into the hot water beneath her.

     "Beth..." Ville's voice was so gentle and quiet, and it tugged her heartstrings with such skill that she felt the floodgates break instantly. Everything she'd been holding back bubbled up in her chest and escaped in a sob. She pressed a hand over her mouth, trying to regain control. Ville swept her up in his arms again, one arm firm and steady around her waist while his other hand cradled the back of her neck, holding her head against his chest.

     "I don't know what to do anymore," she whimpered, closing her eyes tightly even as her shoulders shook. "I thought it was what I wanted, but I can't. I can't stand it. It just makes me feel worse, every fucking day. But I worked so hard! I put everything I had into this, I can't let it be for nothing..."

     "Shhh," Ville whispered, his fingers massaging the base of her skull. That felt so nice... "It's okay, Beth. I promise it's okay. It wasn't for nothing."

     "It will be if I quit," Bethany argued, digging her nails slightly into his back. She quickly smoothed her fingers over the spot in apology. "I wasted all that time and money, wasted other people's time and money... This was supposed to be it for me. I used to love it, I used to care..."

     "Obviously you still care," Ville said gently. "You wouldn't be this upset if you didn't care. But if it's hurting you, you're not going to be able to help anyone. No one can blame you for how everything changed for you after Mason died. That's not your fault."

     "I should be stronger than that," Bethany said stubbornly.

     "Says who?" Ville asked, stepping back and holding Bethany's shoulders. He looked her in the eye, and Bethany couldn't make herself look away. "Says who? Who is putting that sort of pressure on you, Bethany? Because I have a feeling the only person being that hard on you is you."

     Bethany's lip quivered and she nodded, unable to say any more. Ville cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead before stepping gingerly into the tub, taking her hands and pulling her toward him. Sniffling, Bethany got in with him and they both sat down, Bethany cradled between his legs with her back to his chest. The hot water felt incredible, and Bethany could feel herself calming slightly from that alone. Ville's warm, wet hands moved slowly up her back, his thumbs pressing firmly up the sides of her spine before massaging her shoulders in circular motions, and Bethany hugged her knees to her chest and let herself go limp. She was still crying, but not as hard as she had been. Ville made no attempt to quiet her, just kept touching her lovingly, soothingly, letting her get all the darkness out. Bethany couldn't remember ever feeling so cared for in her life. His affection felt like a physical thing, a warm blanket wrapping around her, kissing every spot in her heart that hurt and making it sting a bit less. Somehow, that only made her cry more, but it was in a way that wasn't painful. It was pure relief.

     "I meant the other thing I said, too," Ville said finally, kissing Bethany's neck. "I'll take care of you. I don't expect anything from you. I just want you." His arms slipped beneath Bethany's, his fingers clasping together in front of her knees. Bethany covered his hands with hers and nodded. She knew better than to trust her voice, and she still wasn't ready to make any promises to stay in the near future. She knew they were both too emotional to make decisions like that right then, and she knew he knew it, too. For that moment, though, she knew he meant every word he spoke, and that was enough.

***

     Later that evening, after enjoying pizza delivery for dinner (which Ville had assured her wasn't a massive imposition on the delivery guy - "We all live here, we do know how to cope with bad weather."), Bethany and Ville were curled up together on the couch under a big, fuzzy blanket and watching a movie. Bethany had been in the mood for something more light-hearted, so Ville had obligingly let her put on Guardians of the Galaxy. Really, she could have put on anything, since he seemed to be dozing off every fifteen minutes or so only to jolt himself awake again. After a few episodes of this, Bethany giggled and kissed him just beneath his chin.

     "You don't have to stay awake on my account," she said.

     "Wanna spend time with you," Ville mumbled sleepily, hugging her tightly against his chest.

     "You have me for two weeks," Bethany pointed out. "Besides, I think falling asleep together on the couch counts as spending time together."

     "If we're going to fall asleep, I'd rather do it in bed," Ville said. "This couch is murder on my back."

     "Okay, old man," Bethany teased, sitting up and straddling Ville's lap. He glared at her and pinched her side.

     "Not nice," he growled. Bethany grinned and leaned down to kiss him, letting out a surprised squeak when he gave her a smack on the butt.

     "Rude!" she said, doing her best to look offended.

     "Don't call me old, then," he said, motioning for her to get up. Bethany untangled herself from the blankets and got to her feet as Ville sat up and grabbed the remote to turn the TV off. Bethany moved to grab her phone off the coffee table only to hesitate when it began to ring, her dad's picture flashing on the screen. She groaned, her shoulders slumping as she picked up the phone.

     "You should probably answer that," Ville said, giving her a sympathetic look.

     "I know, I know," Bethany grumbled, hitting the button to accept the call. "Hi, Dad."

     "Bethany, hi," came Carson's response. "I was hoping you'd still be awake."

     "Yeah," Bethany said, wandering out into the hall while Ville busied himself with tidying up the living room. "I was just about to go to bed."

     "I won't keep you long, then," Carson said. "How's Finland?"

     "Cold and snowy," Bethany said, not trusting the small talk.

     "How's Ville?"

     "He's fine," Bethany sighed, sitting down on the stairs in the entryway. "What did you really call for, Dad?"

     "I did really want to see how things were going," Carson said wearily. "I know how excited you were to go visit. I hope I didn't ruin your reunion with our last phonecall."

     "You didn't," Bethany said, catching Ville's eye as he crossed through the room carrying empty pizza boxes to the kitchen. She gave him a shrug in response to his questioning look, and he continued on his way.

     "I'm sorry I dropped that mess on you like that," Carson went on. "I shouldn't have. I knew better. But you know how it is..."

     "I do," Bethany said grudgingly. "So, what's the situation?"

     "She's being stubborn," Carson replied. "Unsurprisingly. She's refusing to go into state care, so it's looking like she'll end up in prison for a while."

     "How long?" Bethany asked, chewing her lip.

     "Hard to say," Carson sighed. "Could be a few months, could be longer. A year is the maximum."

     "Great," Bethany mumbled sarcastically. "Have you spoken to her?"

     "Heavens, no," Carson said, chuckling darkly. "Only her lawyer, who is just as frustrated as I am."

     "Well, if she wants to be difficult, let her," Bethany said tiredly. "It's really not our problem, Dad."

     "I know," Carson said sadly. "Anyway... I did just want to talk to you to see how you were. Are things with you two still going well?"

     "Yeah," Bethany said, smiling a little. "Perfect."

     "You really love him, don't you?"

     Bethany stood up and moved down the hall to the kitchen, peeking in the doorway to see Ville standing at the sink, washing dishes and humming quietly to himself.

     "Yeah," she said to Carson, the sound of her voice causing Ville to turn and look at her. She smiled. "I think I do."

     "That's good," Carson said. "I'll let you go back to him now. If anything big happens, I'll let you know. Enjoy your vacation, honey. I love you."

     "I love you, too," Bethany said, ending the call. She sighed and sat down at the kitchen table, rubbing her temples. Ville dried his hands on a dishtowel and came to stand next to her, leaning his hip against the table.

     "So, how was that?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

     "Mom is being obstinate," Bethany said, leaning back in her chair and looking up at him. "She won't go to state rehab, so it's looking like jail. For up to a year."

     "Jesus Christ," Ville muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. "What did she even do? Do you know?"

     "I don't," Bethany said with a shrug. "I'm headcanoning that she got into a bar fight and ended up punching a cop or something. That's probably close to the truth."

     "Spoken like it wouldn't be the first time?" Ville ventured.

     "Bingo," Bethany said dully. "Now, if we had the money to send her somewhere swanky that felt like a vacation, then she could probably be persuaded. Otherwise, three hots and a cot it is, I guess."

     "You know..."

     "Do not," Bethany said sharply, pointing a finger at Ville warningly. "Don't even say it. You are not getting involved and neither is your wallet. You understand me?"

     "If you'd let me help, I could," Ville huffed.

     "I know you could," Bethany said. "I know you would. But I don't want you dragged into this. It's not your problem."

     "But it is yours," Ville said. "And if it's yours, then that also makes it mine."

     "No, it's not my problem," Bethany said, getting up from the table. She stared out the window above the sink into the darkness and ran a hand through her hair. "It's my mother's problem. She can deal with it in whatever way she likes. It's not my responsibility to bail her out, so it isn't yours either. End of discussion."

     "Alright, alright," Ville said, taking Bethany's hand gently in his. "Dropping it now. I'm sorry."

     "It's okay," Bethany said, letting her forehead drop against his chest. "Can we go to bed now?"

     "Sounds good to me."

***

     Ville sighed softly, rolling onto his back and staring up at the canopy of the bed. He knew it was getting late. He must have been lying there for at least two hours, trying desperately to fall asleep. Bethany had dropped off ages ago, her breathing deep and even as she lay curled up next to him. Try as he might, he just couldn't seem to join her.

     He knew she'd asked him not to get involved in the issues with her mother, but it was weighing on him in a way he couldn't shake. Maybe it was simply because Bethany was so upset despite how hard she tried to hide it, or because this was her family struggling and so he naturally cared about them by extension. He also thought, privately, that it might be because he had once been in a similar dark place to the one Bethany's mother currently found herself in. He'd needed help then, he'd needed the support of the people around him otherwise he likely would have died. If everyone had just thrown up their hands and told him to get his shit together on his own, he wouldn't have made it. He understood Bethany's frustration with her mother, and he certainly understood Bethany's father's frustration, but it wasn't helpful.

     Ville glanced at the bedside table where Bethany's phone lay, a plan forming in his mind. She wouldn't like it if he did what he was thinking of; she might even be angry. Even so, it felt like the right thing to do. He slowly reached over and grabbed both of their phones, surprised to find Bethany's wasn't password protected. He'd have to talk to her about that. He opened her contacts and found her father's number, which he copied into his own contacts on his phone in his other hand. He put Bethany's phone back on the nightstand as he'd found it and carefully slid out of bed, watching Bethany warily for any sign of wakefulness. Seeing none, he crept out of the bedroom and silently made his way down the stairs.

     He walked into the kitchen and sat down, staring at his phone in indecision for only a moment before pressing the call button.

     The phone rang only a few times before Carson Phillips answered.

     "Hello?" he said, his tone one of concern.

     "Hi, Mr. Phillips?" Ville said politely. "It's Ville, Bethany's boyfriend."

     "Oh, hello!" Carson said. "I'm sorry, I saw a strange international number and got worried. Is everything alright?"

     "Yes, everything's fine, don't worry!" Ville said quickly. "Bethany's fine, she's sleeping."

     "Okay, good," Carson sighed, sounding relieved. "I know she's a bit out of sorts right now... We had an argument before she boarded her flight. I assume she told you?"

     "She did," Ville said. "I'm sorry you guys are having a hard time. I um... I don't mean to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, and Bethany did specifically tell me not to, but I feel like I have to do something. I care for Bethany very much, and that care extends to her family as well. To tell you the truth, I've been where Beth's mother is right now. I used to have a serious drinking problem, and it probably would have killed me if I hadn't gotten help. I was lucky that I had good friends and the resources to get treatment. I know not everyone has that, and I know this situation is putting a lot of pressure on you and Bethany. I'd like to help, if you'll let me."

     "Oh, Ville," Carson sighed, "that's incredibly kind of you, but you don't have to do that. Cassandra's problems aren't yours. She's had a lot of chances to get herself cleaned up over the years, and every time she's let those chances slip through her fingers. I don't want you getting dragged into the cycle, and I know Bethany doesn't either."

     "I mean no offense when I say this," Ville said carefully, "but maybe the reason it's never worked before is because she hasn't had access to the best help. I know good rehab is ridiculously expensive in the States. That's where I was when I got treatment. I wouldn't have been able to afford it on my own at the time. The record label took care of me. It's unfair and honestly cruel that that's the way it is. I'd like to see Bethany's mom get better, Mr. Phillips. I'd be willing to pay for her to go into a good program. You pick one, any one you want, and I'll cover it."

     "I couldn't ask you to do that," Carson protested.

     "You're not asking, I'm offering," Ville said. "I'm in a place where I can do this now because people believed in me enough to throw me a lifeline when I needed it. I want to pay it forward. I want Bethany to have her mother in her life, her healthy, whole mother. Please let me help, if for no other reason than because Bethany deserves that."

     Carson was quiet for a long moment before finally he sighed again. "You're a stubborn one, aren't you, Mr. Valo?"

     "It's both one of my best and worst traits," Ville said, grinning.

     "Alright," Carson said. "Let me do some research tonight, see what I can come up with. I'll get back to you tomorrow and we can work out a game plan. I do want you to know that I plan to repay you for your kindness. I'm not sure how, but I will."

     "I'd tell you not to worry about it, but I get the sense that you're a stubborn one yourself," Ville said wryly.

     "You're quite right," Carson chuckled. "I'm assuming we aren't telling Bethany about this?"

     "Not right now," Ville said, chewing on his lip. "She'll just get upset with me. For the time being, just tell her you were able to pull some strings, I doubt she'll question it too much. I'll tell her the truth eventually."

     "I'll hold you to that," Carson said. "Thank you, Ville. You're a good man. I'm glad my daughter met you. I look forward to meeting you in person myself."

     "Likewise," Ville said, his face heating slightly at the compliment. "Have a good evening, Mr. Phillips."

     "Please, it's Carson."

     "Alright then," Ville laughed softly. "Have a good evening, Carson."

     "You too, Ville. I'll talk to you again soon."

Chapter Text

     Bethany felt herself being pulled from sleep even as she fought against waking up with everything she had. She was quite certain she could sleep there in Ville's bed for the rest of time, as warm and soft and comfortable as it was. Even so, she was aware of the hand on her shoulder shaking her persistently, and she batted at it ineffectually with a barely intelligible grumble.

     "Wakey wakey," Ville sang quietly in her ear. Bethany could feel him smiling when he kissed her cheek. "Come on, we have plans."

     "Since when?" Bethany groaned, still not opening her eyes.

     "Since about ten minutes ago," Ville said, resting his chin on her arm. "I just got off the phone with Mum. She is adamant that we're having lunch with her and Dad."

     "I'm meeting your parents?" Bethany asked, suddenly very awake. She sat up fast enough to knock Ville aside and stared at him wide-eyed. "Today?"

     "Yeeees...?" Ville said slowly, pushing himself up on his elbows. "Surely you realized that would be happening while you were here."

     "Well, yeah," Bethany said, brushing her hair out of her eyes anxiously. "But I thought I'd have a little more warning."

     "What, do you want to prepare a speech?" Ville asked, grinning. "Relax, Beth. It's not an interview, it's not anything formal, it's lunch. My parents are very excited to meet you."

     "You've talked to them about me?" Bethany asked, realizing he'd never mentioned doing so before.

     "No, I've kept you a total secret," Ville deadpanned. "Please. Mum video called me while I was still on tour, took one look at me, and asked 'who is she?'. And that was before the airport incident. I couldn't keep anything from that woman even if I wanted to."

     "So... They approve?"

     "I do give you glowing reviews," Ville laughed. He took Bethany's hand from where she'd been nervously picking at the corner of the blanket. "Seriously, chill out. My parents are some of the coolest people I know. They're going to adore you."

     Bethany sighed quietly and looked down at their joined hands. She wanted to believe Ville, but she couldn't help but feel self-conscious. How could his parents look at her and think she was good enough for their son? Ville was so driven, he'd been so successful in his life. Compared to him, Bethany was a mess. Her life was in limbo, she didn't know what she wanted to do or where she wanted to be. She was painfully aware of what it could look like to someone on the outside, the way that she'd gravitated to Ville; it might seem that she wasn't with him for love, but for money and security, an easy ride. She was sure he'd been prey for such a scheme a time or two before in his life, and she didn't want Ville's family to suspect that she was just another woman looking to use him.

     "You're thinking too much," Ville said, giving Bethany's fingers a squeeze. She looked back up at him, wrinkling her nose at the know-it-all expression on his face.

     "Maybe," she said. "But, uh... Listen, if you could like, not mention to them that I'm considering dropping out of mortuary school and quitting my job, that would be great."

     "I wasn't planning on it," Ville said, furrowing his brow in confusion. "It's not like you've made a final decision on that, anyway. Why would that... Oh." Realization seemed to dawn on him then, and his face turned somber.

     "I just don't want them to think the worst of me," Bethany sighed. "I don't want you to think the worst of me, for that matter."

     "Hey, no," Ville said, sitting up and taking Bethany's other hand, holding them both tightly between his. "Absolutely not. Allow me to remind you that I suggested you let me take care of you first. I didn't even know you were thinking about getting out of the funeral business at the time."

     "I don't want to take advantage of you," Bethany said, her tone serious.

     "You can't take advantage of me if I'm willing," Ville said.

     "That's not true," Bethany said, shaking her head. "You're so kind and giving, you offer things without a second thought. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but... It's a good way to get hurt. I'm sure you know that. I don't want to hurt you."

     "You won't," Ville said, and the conviction in his voice made Bethany's heart melt. She cast her eyes down to the blankets again only to feel Ville's hand come up to cup her cheek, turning her face so he could kiss her. It was soft and sweet, meant to be reassuring, and Bethany kissed him back earnestly, hoping he could feel her sincerity.

***

   A couple of hours later, Bethany and Ville were climbing into a cab outside the front gate. Ville spoke with the driver, who seemed quite familiar with him, and they were on their way.

     "I should have rented a car," Bethany said ruefully. "That way we wouldn't have to rely on taxis."

     "I'm fine with taxis," Ville shrugged. "I take them all the time. Besides, you're supposed to be on vacation. Driving in a foreign country doesn't sound particularly relaxing to me."

     "Driving in general doesn't sound relaxing to you," Bethany laughed.

     "You have a point," Ville said. "Wanna take bets on how long it will take for Dad to make a comment about how I still don't have a license? My money is on less than an hour."

     "He still brings it up?" Bethany asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

     "Mostly to make the point that I'd probably visit more if I could drive myself," Ville snorted. "You know, that good old-fashioned parental guilt tripping."

     "I suppose we should also expect thinly veiled pressures about grandchildren?" Bethany said. Ville threw his head back and laughed loudly at that.

     "Believe it or not, I think they've given up on that possibility," he said. "Took a while, mind you. They're still needling Jesse, though. That suits me just fine, let him take the heat."

     "Is your brother around?" Bethany asked curiously.

     "No, unfortunately," Ville said. "He decided to go visit some friends in Spain for the rest of the winter after the holidays. Sick of freezing his ass off, or so he said."

     "You think he has an ulterior motive?" Bethany guessed.

     "Not an ulterior motive, really," Ville sighed. "It's just that the cold is hard on him physically these days, I think. Years of beating the hell out of people and getting the hell beat out of him by other people for a living are catching up. He downplays it so Mum and Dad won't worry so much."

     "That sucks," Bethany said, frowning. "Do you think he'd move somewhere less harsh permanently?"

     "He hasn't said anything to me about it," Ville shrugged. "He's of the same mind I am about leaving Mum and Dad. Especially after how much travelling we've done all our lives. We feel like we owe it to them to stick around as much as we can these days."

     "Of course," Bethany said, looking out the window. They were driving through a fairly residential area, which confused her a bit. "Hey, what restaurant are we going to for lunch?"

     "We're not," Ville laughed. "We're going to my parents' house. I told you you had to have my mom's cooking."

     "Oh, Christ, now I'm extra nervous," Bethany said, covering her face with her hands.

     "Don't be!" Ville said, nudging her arm with his elbow. "I told you, they're going to love you. If I was worried, I wouldn't take you to meet them. There have definitely been a few times I didn't bring a lady home to them because I knew better."

     "Sounds like there are some entertaining stories there," Bethany said, shooting him a sideways glance.

     "Not ones meant for your ears," Ville chuckled, the tops of his own ears going pink. "No one will ever say I always made the best calls in the relationship department. At least I was occasionally self aware."

     "Spoilsport," Bethany huffed, sitting up straighter as the cab pulled into a driveway. The house was small but very tidily kept, the walkway and stairs neatly cleared of snow and the flowerboxes on the porch covered with small tarps. Bethany imagined it must look very charming in the summertime.

     Ville paid the driver and got out of the car, coming around to Bethany's side and opening her door. Bethany took his hand and allowed him to help her out, smiling as his hand moved to her lower back while they headed up the path to the house. The door opened as they reached the stairs and a short, kind looking woman with brightly dyed red hair stepped outside, a huge smile on her face. She exclaimed something to Ville in Finnish that made him laugh as he pulled her into a tight hug, and Bethany smiled as she watched them. Then she turned to Bethany, still smiling, and held out her open arms to her as well.

     "Come on, then!" Anita Valo laughed. She had a heavy accent, but Bethany could understand her quite clearly. She giggled softly and embraced the older woman, surprised by her strength as she hugged her as if she'd known her all her life. "Dear Bethany, I've heard so much about you!"

     "Good things, I hope," Bethany said as she pulled away. She blushed slightly as Anita looked her up and down, though she seemed to earn her approval because she continued to smile brightly at her. "It's good to meet you, Mrs. Valo."

     "Ville only says good things," Anita assured her. "And none of this 'Mrs. Valo' business. It's Anita, and my husband is Kari. No need to be stuffy and formal."

     "Told you," Ville muttered out of the corner of his mouth. Bethany gave him a look, which made Anita laugh.

     "Come in out of the cold," she said, ushering them inside. The house was delightfully warm and immediately reminded Bethany strongly of the house she grew up in. The walls in the entryway and adjoining hall were wood paneled, and a narrow staircase leading to the second floor sat slightly to the right of the front door. As Ville took her coat, Bethany peered down the hallway and saw that the walls on either side were absolutely plastered with HIM memorabilia and awards.

     "So this is where all your accolades have wound up," Bethany said, grinning up at Ville.

     "Of course," Ville said. "If I put them in my own house where I could see them I might get a big head. Bigger than I already have, anyway."

     "It is already such a burden living with your ego," Bethany said sarcastically. Ville gave her a wink as they followed Anita into the kitchen, where Kari stood stirring something on the stove. He looked up as they entered and grinned.

     "Hello!" he said pleasantly, coming over to hug his son. They spoke quietly in Finnish for a moment, and Ville gave his dad a meaningful look before shaking his head with a smile. Kari then turned to Bethany, embracing her much as Anita had.

     "It's nice to meet you, M- ah, Kari," Bethany said, catching herself.

     "I see my wife already gave you the formality lecture," Kari laughed, pulling back and giving Bethany a gentle pat on the shoulder. "It's lovely to meet you too, Bethany. It's been a while since anyone has made my boy smile like you do."

     "I do my best," Bethany said, smiling shyly.

     "Come sit down," Kari said, motioning for them to move to the kitchen table. "Lunch is almost ready, so long as I didn't manage to ruin it in the five minutes it took Anita to go to the door."

     "Oh, hush," Anita said, giving the food in the pot a cursory glance and rolling her eyes. "It's soup, not beef Wellington."

     "The joke there is that Dad did try to make beef Wellington for Christmas once," Ville snickered. "Once."

     "It wasn't that bad!" Kari protested, sitting across from Ville and Bethany. "In my defense, Gordon Ramsay makes it look a lot easier than it really is."

     "My one non-vegan meal of the year was well done beef Wellington," Ville said, shaking his head. "That was cruel of you, Dad."

     "I'd like to see you do better!" Kari said, crossing his arms over his chest. "That recipe doesn't involve a microwave, after all."

     "I have graduated from only knowing how to make ramen, you know," Ville laughed. "I'm a little bit of an adult now."

     "Oh? How's learning to drive coming along?" Kari asked, his eyes twinkling.

     "I knew it!" Ville said, throwing a fist in the air. "Not even fifteen minutes!"

     "He wanted to bet on how long it would be until you brought that up," Bethany giggled.

     "I don't know how fair it is to bet on a sure thing," Kari said, rolling his eyes. "I'm sure you drive, Bethany."

     "It's a little more necessary in America," Bethany said with a shrug. "Public transportation is spotty at best unless you live in the city, which I don't."

     "Ville says you go to school in the city," Kari said. "You're studying to be a mortician? That must be challenging."

     "Ah, yeah," Bethany said sheepishly. She felt Ville's right hand rest gently on her thigh and she tried her best to smile. "It's hard sometimes. It is very interesting though, and I like helping people, so it's not so bad."

     "It's an honorable profession," Kari said, nodding. "And you work at a funeral home as well, while you're doing your schooling?"

     "Yeah, ever since I graduated high school," Bethany said. "It helps to have your foot in the door somewhere when it comes time for your apprenticeship and everything. Less scrambling around looking for someone to take you on after graduation and stuff."

     "She works really hard," Ville said, leaning over and kissing Bethany's temple. "Maybe a little too hard sometimes."

     "Somebody has to, or the rest of us would be in big trouble," Kari chuckled. "In any case, it's nice to see that you have a good head on your shoulders, Bethany. It takes a strong, well-organized person to do what you do."

     "Thanks, Kari," Bethany said softly, intertwining her fingers with Ville's in her lap and squeezing slightly. "That means a lot."

     "Alright, lunch is ready!" Anita announced from across the room. "Ville, could you please come give me a hand bringing everything to the table?"

     "Sure, Mama," Ville said, giving Bethany's fingers one more squeeze before getting up to help his mother. Together they brought over several bowls of soup and a large salad with a perfectly sliced loaf of what Bethany suspected was homemade bread. Everything smelled incredible, and Bethany realized just how hungry she was.

     "It's a potato soup," Anita told her as she set the bowl in front of her. "I promise I'm not feeding you Rudolph, or any other rude thing my dear child might have told you before you got here."

     "Oh, he didn't!" Bethany assured her, laughing when she saw the stricken look Ville was giving his mother. "Not that I would have turned down reindeer if you'd offered it. My dad used to hunt, so I've had venison. Can't be that far off."

     "Well, that's good to know," Anita said, taking her seat next to Kari. "Some people are put off by it. Ville has been known to torment his friends from abroad about Finnish food in the past..."

     "Because I used to be an annoying little-"

     "Do not curse at the table!" Anita scolded him, holding up a hand.

     "I was going to say 'jerk'," Ville said innocently. "I prefer not having a fork thrown at my head, thank you."

     "A lesson he's learned a number of times," Kari told Bethany in a stage whisper. She smiled as she helped herself to some salad, casting a glance at Ville.

     "I still have a scar under my hair somewhere in this region," he said, pointing to a spot above his ear. "Vicious, this woman."

     "Give it a couple more years, you'll be able to see that scar," Kari said, patting his own bald head. Ville looked affronted.

     "You take that back!" he said, his fingers immediately flying to his hairline. "It's not that bad! Take it back!"

     "Boys," Anita groaned, lifting her eyes to the ceiling.

     "He's trying to curse me!" Ville whined.

     "You're already cursed," Kari laughed. "You're mine."

     "Terrible," Anita said, looking at Bethany. "They're terrible. Be grateful the other one isn't here, too. I'd have already gotten us out of here for a civilized ladies' lunch if he were."

     "I don't know," Bethany said, "I'm finding it pretty amusing."

     "Give it a few years," Anita said dryly. "You'll see. There's a good reason I never miss a hair color appointment."

     "I don't want to talk about hair anymore," Ville pouted, pulling his hood over his head sullenly. Anita immediately reached across the table and pulled it back down.

     "I think she's going to send you to your room in a minute," Kari snickered.

     "You, too!" Anita exclaimed, giving her husband's arm a smack. "Stop bullying each other and eat your food, for goodness sake!"

     Once Anita had put the fear of God into her husband and son, lunch was absolutely lovely. Ville had been correct - Anita's cooking was out of this world. Bethany was sure she'd never had soup that good in her life, and Anita's secret recipe salad dressing had easily become her favorite. The four of them chatted easily about everything from Ville's tour to what sort of interesting characters Kari had seen at the store that week (though Anita did try valiantly to put the kibosh on that subject). Anita had begun sharing stories from when Ville was a little boy when Ville's phone began to ring in his pocket.

     "Oh," Ville said, checking the screen and getting to his feet with an apologetic glance at his mother. "I'm so sorry, I really do have to take this. It's work stuff." He leaned down and kissed Bethany's cheek before disappearing out of the kitchen in the direction of the front door.

     "How convenient," Anita said, flashing Bethany a grin. "What do you say about helping  make some coffee while I find the photo album with those oh so embarrassing naked baby pictures?"

     "Works for me," Bethany laughed. She helped Anita clear the table while Kari made his way to the living room, carefully placing dishes in the sink. Anita pulled out the coffee and gave it to Bethany while she dug around in a small closet in the corner for the photo albums.

     Bethany was struck then by how comfortable she felt in that moment, making a pot of coffee in Ville's parents' kitchen. They'd been so welcoming and warm to her all afternoon. She felt like she belonged there, like she was wanted there. She blinked against the tears that rose to her eyes as she set the coffee maker to brewing, not wanting Anita to catch her getting emotional.

     "Found it!" Anita sang, coming over to stand next to Bethany with the album in her hand. Catching sight of Bethany's face, she immediately stood still. "Oh, kulta, what's the matter?! You look like you're about to cry!"

     "No, no, nothing's the matter!" Bethany said quickly, swiping at her eyes. "I'm just... I'm very grateful to you, and Kari too. You've been really nice to me today and... Thank you."

     "Oh, honey," Anita said, putting the photo album on the counter and hugging Bethany hard. "Of course. You make Ville so happy, and you're a very sweet young lady. You make it easy to be nice to you."

     "Thank you," Bethany said again, resting her head on the older woman's shoulder. "You're both so lovely. I see where Ville gets it from."

     "Where I get what from?" Ville asked, strolling back into the kitchen. His eyes fell to the photo album as Bethany and Anita parted. "Ohhh, no. I'll be taking that, thank you-"

     "Not a chance!" Anita said, swiping the book off the counter with surprising speed. She held it behind her back and looked up at her son petulantly. "I'm your mother, I reserve the right to embarrass you all I like."

     "And you say Dad gives me a hard time," Ville said with a click of his tongue. "You have a worse devil streak than he does."

     "After raising you, I've earned it!" Anita laughed. "Now, be a good boy and pour everyone coffee when this finishes. Stay here and wait. We'll be in the living room." She patted his chest as she swept past him, pulling Bethany along with her by the hand. Bethany gave him an apologetic look over her shoulder and he rolled his eyes good naturedly, a small smile on his face.

***

     Later that evening, Bethany was putting the leftover soup and salad in Ville's fridge while he sat at the table, busy with something on his phone. She laughed as she stacked the three plastic containers on top of each other before shutting the door.

     "She cooks like she's feeding an army," she said, turning to look at Ville.

     "She's done that since I was a kid," Ville said, glancing up at her with a grin. "We had Linde and Mige over a lot. Add that to me and my brother and that's a lot of hungry little boys. She's never been able to break the habit."

     "I certainly don't mind," Bethany said, coming over to wrap her arms around Ville's shoulders from behind. "I could eat that soup every day for the rest of my life."

     "I bet she'll give you the recipe if you ask," Ville said, setting his phone on the table and resting his head against Bethany's shoulder. "She might even give you the one for the salad dressing. She really likes you."

     "You think so?"

     "I know so," Ville said, rubbing his hands over Bethany's arms. "She told me. Right before we left, when she was hugging me goodbye. She asked me if I'd marry you."

     "She did not," Bethany scoffed.

     "She did," Ville said, giving her arms a squeeze. "She's never said anything like that before, about anyone, but she said it about you."

     "What did you tell her?" Bethany whispered, turning her head to look at Ville. He looked up at her and reached a hand up to gently touch her face.

     "I told her I would in a heartbeat, if you'd have me."

     Bethany didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. She tugged Ville's chair a little further away from the table and sat on his lap before kissing him hard, melting against him when his hands rested on her back. They stayed like that for some time, wrapped up in each other there in that warm, quiet kitchen. Ville was the one to break the kiss as well as the silence.

     "I won't push," he murmured in Bethany's ear. "I won't pressure, I won't beg. But when you're ready, if you're ready, I'll be here. You know my answer. It won't change."

     "I love you," Bethany said, her voice almost inaudible even to her own ears. She held his face in her hands and stared into his eyes, those gorgeous, shining green eyes. "I love you."

     "And I love you," Ville said, brushing his lips against hers again as he spoke. "As long as I live, I promise I will love you."

     Bethany believed him, more than she'd ever believed anything in her life.

Chapter Text

     Bethany was sound asleep when her phone began to vibrate on the nightstand. Squinting at the screen, she determined that it was Vera calling and that it was, in fact, only three in the morning. She found neither of these things particularly amusing.

     "Vera... What the actual fuck?"

     "You have been deprived of my beauty and wisdom for several days now, so I decided it was time to put you out of your misery!"

     "Do you have any idea what time it is here?" Bethany demanded groggily. She felt Ville shift beside her, though he seemed to still be asleep.

     "Nope," Vera said cheerily. "And I don't care. I miss you and I want updates. Get your happy ass out of bed and entertain me."

     "Ugh... fine," Bethany sighed, slowly getting out from underneath the covers and looking down at Ville. He was still out cold, one arm thrown up over his head, snoring quietly. Bethany smiled and shook her head before tiptoeing out of the room and going downstairs. She went into the living room and cocooned herself in a throw blanket before sitting down on the couch.

     "Alright, I am a polite distance away from the other person in this house who is so fortunate to still be unconscious."

     "Damn, I was hoping I'd woken him up, too," Vera lamented. "He's funny when he's crabby."

     "One day he's going to strangle you, and I may not even try to stop him," Bethany grumbled, stifling a yawn.

     "I think I can take him," Vera laughed. "He's tall, I'll go for the knees. Sooo... How are things going?"

     "Good," Bethany replied. "Really good, actually. We visited his parents yesterday. They're the sweetest people I've ever met."

     "Yeah?" Vera said, sounding intrigued. "Do you think you made a good first impression?"

     "If Ville is to be believed, I made an excellent impression," Bethany said. "He said his mom asked him if he'd marry me."

     "Woah," Vera said. "Look at you go, charmer."

     "Part of me thinks she just wants to see him settle down, finally," Bethany said with a shrug. "I at least don't come off as a complete trainwreck, so that's probably good enough at this point."

     "Shut the fuck up," Vera said sternly. "You're a goddamn catch. Ville knows that, and obviously his parents see it too. Shove the self deprecation up your ass."

     "I'm a dumpster fire hidden beneath a thin veneer of poise at best," Bethany said glumly. "You know how fucked up everything is for me right now."

     "So you're having a career crisis," Vera said. "Big deal. You'll figure it out."

     "I don't know if I will," Bethany sighed. "The thought of going back to my job and school makes me want to puke. I really don't know if I can do it anymore."

     "Didn't you go to Finland to forget about those problems?" Vera asked.

     "Yes, but..." Bethany trailed off, staring up at the ceiling.

     "But what?"

     "I've kind of been forced to think about it the whole time I've been here," Bethany said. "On one hand, I don't want to give up on everything and look like I'm trying to use Ville for his money. On the other hand... Ville is sort of pushing me to let it all go and let him take care of me."

     "Would that make you happier?" Vera pressed.

     "I don't know," Bethany said tiredly. "I don't think I'd feel right about it. I don't want to depend on him fully like that, for a lot of reasons."

     "That's fair," Vera said. "But it wouldn't have to be like that permanently. Nothing is stopping you from finding another career. In fact, it would be easier to do with his help."

     "I don't want his help," Bethany said sharply. She winced at her own harshness. "I mean, I just don't want to take advantage of him. He gives me too much as it is."

     "Because he loves you," Vera pointed out.

     "That's not a good enough reason," Bethany said, rubbing her forehead.

     "Why the hell not?" Vera demanded.

     "I don't want him to support me for nothing in return," Bethany said. "That feels wrong to me."

     "You don't give him nothing in return," Vera argued. "You love him, you give him affection and companionship. That's what he wants, that's all he wants. You make him happy."

     "So I should just let him be the equivalent of a fucking sugar daddy?" Bethany asked hotly.

     "If he wants to take care of you, there's nothing wrong with that," Vera said calmly. "Ask yourself this: does this actually make you uncomfortable, or are you just worried about what other people might think?"

     "Both?" Bethany said, feeling frustrated. "Obviously I don't want to look like a leech. And if I let him support me, I'm going to feel like I'm acting like-"

     "Your mother," Vera finished for her. "Got it. Okay. Listen to me very carefully, sweet thing. There is a fundamental difference between you and your mom, and that is that your mom is a manipulator, while you are not. She purposefully seeks out ways to get what she wants from people. You didn't seek this out, this just happened to you. You happened to meet a good man with the means and the desire to provide for you. Accepting that does not make you anything like your mother."

     "That might be true," Bethany said slowly. "It will still look awful, though."

     "Who gives a fuck how it looks?" Vera asked. "Nobody knows what goes on in your lives but you two. Anyone who judges your relationship or how you do things isn't worth caring about. So what if you decide to play housewife for the rest of your days? So what if you decide to go to school for something different and Ville pays for it? So what if he helps you find work? Whose business is any of that? What does it matter what anybody has to say about it at the end of the day? If the two of you are happy, what does it matter?"

     "I... guess it doesn't," Bethany admitted, chewing her bottom lip.

     "You're damn right," Vera said fiercely. "Bethany, you are my best friend in the entire world. I have watched you work your ass off for everything you have, I have watched you struggle, I have watched you suffer, and the entire time I thought, 'please God, let this girl catch a break. Let her be happy'. Here is your break. Here is your chance at happiness. Please don't let it pass you by because you think you don't deserve it, because you do. Don't let other people's bullshit stop you from accepting something good. Let that man love you like he wants to."

     Bethany sniffled. She hadn't realized she'd started crying. She didn't know how to respond to Vera's passionate reassurance, but she knew she was right. It felt like a weight was lifting from her chest, and she took a deep breath for the first time in what felt like ages.

     "Did I get through that hard head of yours?" Vera asked, sounding pleased with herself.

     "Yes," Bethany said softly, wiping at her cheeks. "Thank you, Vee."

     "It's what I'm here for," Vera said dismissively. "I knew I had the urge to call you for a reason. I can always tell when you need to hear something."

     "Whatever would I do without your psychic powers?" Bethany asked sarcastically.

     "Something incredibly stupid, I'd wager," Vera teased. "You're welcome for probably saving your relationship. I'll send the bill for my services to your sugar daddy."

     "Do not start," Bethany groaned. "You'll make me second guess this entire thing."

     "You know I'm only joking," Vera giggled. "Anyway, I will let you go back to bed. Give lover boy extra snuggles for me."

     "Sure," Bethany snorted. "I love you, you bitch."

     "I love you more, fuckhead."

     Bethany hung up and fell back against the couch, a small smile playing on her lips. She did feel better. She hoped it would last, that her doubts and fears wouldn't come rushing back to her in the morning.

     She got to her feet and tossed the blanket back onto the couch before hurrying up the stairs, anxious to crawl back into bed. To her surprise, when she walked into the bedroom she found Ville awake.

     "Hey," he said, his voice scratchy from sleep. "Where'd you go?"

     "Vera called me," Bethany said, getting back under the covers and laying her head on his chest. "With no regard for time zones because of who she is as a person."

     "Mmm," Ville hummed, wrapping his arm around her and kissing the top of her head. "Makes sense."

     "She told me to give you extra snuggles for her," Bethany said, stretching her arm over his chest.

     "How sweet," Ville chuckled, his fingers trailing lightly up and down Bethany's arm. "What else did you talk about?"

     "She wanted to know how everything's going," Bethany yawned. "I told her we had a nice time at your parents'."

     "Mm, that's good," Ville said sleepily. Bethany could tell he was fading fast.

     "Hey," she said, pushing herself up on one arm and looking down at him. He slowly opened his eyes.

     "Yes?"

     "I love you," Bethany said, leaning down to kiss him softly. He kissed her back, the hand on her arm moving up to rest on the back of her neck.

     "I love you, too," he said, nuzzling against her shoulder. "Can we go back to sleep now?"

     "Yeah," Bethany laughed softly. "We can go back to sleep."

***

     Bethany woke up around noon, finding herself alone in bed. She pulled on a sweater and headed downstairs, pleased to find coffee already made in the kitchen. After pouring herself a cup, she padded around the first floor looking for Ville. She checked the living room, the small laundry room, and even the dining room that Ville said he'd only actually used a grand total of three times, but he was nowhere to be found.

     As she made her way back into the hallway, Bethany thought she heard a sound coming from below. It was then that she noticed the basement door beneath the stairs was slightly ajar. She debated with herself for a moment about going downstairs, as she knew that's where Ville had his studio. She wasn't sure how welcome visitors were in that space.

     "I can hear you lurking up there," Ville yelled, causing Bethany to jump and nearly spill coffee down her front. "You can come down, I have the booby traps disarmed for the moment."

     "Funny," Bethany called, pulling the door the rest of the way open and starting down the thickly carpeted stairs. She found Ville at his desk, turning the office chair he was sitting in idly from side to side as he looked at a stack of papers in his hands. Hearing her approach, he tossed the papers onto the desk and slowly spun his chair all the way around, steepling his fingers under his chin.

     "I've been expecting you," he said dramatically, dropping his voice an octave or two.

     "You're dumb," Bethany giggled. She leaned down and gave him a kiss. "Whatcha doin' down here?"

     "Expecting you," Ville replied, trying and failing to hide a smile. "And also finally answering emails I've been avoiding. Getting financial shit from the tour printed and organized so the tax man doesn't tear me a new one in a few months. Boring grown-up stuff, you know."

     "You do your own taxes?" Bethany asked, raising an eyebrow.

     "Fuck no!" Ville laughed. "You wanna see what it looks like when a high school drop out tries to do their own taxes? It's not pretty. No, I send everything to my accountant, but I keep about five extra copies of everything for myself because I'm a paranoid fucker."

     "That's a relief," Bethany said, turning to look around the studio. It looked very professional, if a little cluttered. Most of the walls were covered in black soundproofing foam, though there were a couple that were covered in pictures and posters instead. The giant framed print of Black Sabbath caught her eye first, possibly because there was a small table with an arrangement of candles set up just underneath it. "Is that an actual altar dedicated to Black Sabbath, Ville?"

     "Is that actually judgement I hear in your voice, Bethany?" Ville asked, nudging the back of her thigh with his toe.

     "Maybe a little," Bethany said, swatting his foot away.

     "You know, Vera told me she has some pictures that were taken in your bedroom when you were teenagers," Ville said casually, grabbing his coffee off of his desk and taking a sip. "I'm sure there's nothing in the background of those photos I could possibly judge you for..."

     "I was fifteen!" Bethany said, putting a hand on her hip as she turned to glare at him. "You are a grown-ass man!"

     "And Ozzy is my god," Ville shrugged. "At least I have never kissed that poster."

     "I never-!" Bethany spluttered, feeling her face heat as Ville snickered at her. "Oh, for Christ's sake, you and Vera aren't allowed to have unsupervised conversations anymore!"

     "We are rather dangerous when left in each other's company," Ville admitted. "And you make it too easy to fuck with you."

     "You're insufferable," Bethany sighed, though she was smiling as she said it.

     "I suppose that makes you a masochist," Ville said, grabbing her hand and pulling her into his lap. Bethany went without complaint, putting the arm that wasn't supporting her coffee around Ville's neck. She smiled when he rested his head on her chest, nuzzling her nose into his hair. "Wanna go on an adventure today?"

     "I don't know," Bethany said slowly. "That heavily depends on what your idea of an adventure is."

     "I was thinking about giving you that tour of Helsinki I promised you."

     "Are you sure?" Bethany asked. "I mean... You tend to get spotted pretty easily around here."

     "Yes, and?" Ville said, looking up at her. "You think I planned on keeping you prisoner in this house for an entire two weeks?"

     "Well, I don't know," Bethany said awkwardly. "After the clusterfuck at the airport back home..."

     "Which has already made the rounds in several variations in the celebrity rags here," Ville said, rolling his eyes. "You are officially my worst kept secret. It's not news anymore, if that's what you're worried about. If we do run into any paparazzi, all you have to do is ignore the fuck out of them. They're all well acquainted with my complete and utter intolerance for them, so they'll keep their distance. And if they don't, I'll handle it and they'll wish they'd never been born. Easy."

     "You're a little scary sometimes," Bethany said, giving him an apprehensive look. Ville clicked his tongue and shook his head dismissively.

     "You have nothing to be afraid of," he assured her. "Nosy fucks with cameras and no sense of common decency, on the other hand, have plenty to be afraid of. Hopefully you won't have to see Bastard Ville anytime soon, but if you do, just know that you'd have to do something pretty fucking horrendous to ever have that directed at you."

     "Good to know," Bethany laughed softly. Ville kissed her neck gently, the hand that settled on her hip slowly sliding up underneath her sweater. Bethany hummed contentedly as his warm fingers danced lazily over her ribs, her eyes falling closed.

     "You know," Ville said, his voice low and quiet in Bethany's ear, "I've never properly christened this studio." Bethany snorted and let her forehead rest against Ville's temple.

     "What do you consider a proper christening?" she asked, though she was sure she knew the answer.

     "Something that has absolutely nothing to do with Christ, that's for sure," Ville said, taking Bethany's mostly empty mug from her hand and setting it on the desk with his own. "That couch over there in the corner is extremely roomy and comfortable. I'm just saying."

     "It's covered in boxes," Bethany said, glancing at the couch in question. There were haphazard stacks of battered cardboard boxes currently making their home there.

     "Tour merch overstock," Ville said, his free hand slowly sliding up Bethany's thigh. "I don't know how I always end up with it. My feelings won't be hurt if we just throw it all on the floor."

     "More pressing matters on your mind?" Bethany teased, shifting her hips just slightly in Ville's lap. He groaned and dug his nails into her leg, the sound trailing off into a breathless chuckle.

     "More pressing would be good," he said, his voice coming out slightly strained. "Unless you'd like to look for another excuse."

     "It's a little weird to fuck under the watchful eyes of Ozzy Osbourne?" Bethany suggested.

     "No, it's exactly what he would want," Ville said, standing up and pulling Bethany close to him. "Wanna try again?"

     "I would, but my heart's not really in it," Bethany laughed, standing on her tip toes to kiss him. Ville kissed her back hungrily, his fingers digging into her hips as he pushed her back in the direction of the couch. He very reluctantly pulled away to shove the small mountain of boxes onto the floor before sitting down and pulling  Bethany down to straddle him.

     Ville's lips were on hers again in an instant, his left hand finding its way to the back of her neck while his right returned to her thigh, his fingers inching slowly underneath the fabric of her sleep shorts. He had teased her for bringing pajamas like that to Finland in the dead of winter, but Bethany found that the house was plenty warm enough and she knew he'd come to appreciate her choices eventually. And appreciate them he did, as his hand traveled higher only to find more bare skin at the crease of her thigh.

     "Dirty girl," he murmured against her lips, to which Bethany responded with only a quiet giggle. Her laughter was cut short as Ville's questing fingers moved between her legs, sliding easily into the wetness they found there. Bethany gasped softly at his touch, her hands clutching tightly at his shirt.

     "Too many clothes," she said, tugging ineffectually at the material. Ville nodded and gently pushed her off of him. They both hurriedly shed their pajamas and Bethany pushed Ville back onto the couch, resuming her previous position. His fingers returned immediately to their teasing and Bethany whimpered, only to be immediately silenced by another kiss. Ville's tongue entered her mouth at the same moment he slid two fingers inside of her, and Bethany scratched her nails down his arms with a moan. He somehow managed to synchronize everything he was doing, the way his hand grasped at the hair at the back of her head, his tongue moving against hers, the steady rhythm of his fingers inside of her, and Bethany could hardly think straight. Everything felt good, everything was overwhelming, and before she even realized what was happening, he had her falling apart.

     "F-fuck, babe," Bethany gasped, her head falling to Ville's shoulder as her body continued to shake. She felt like it took forever to come down, like the orgasm came and went in waves. Ville chuckled softly in her ear as he finally withdrew his fingers from her.

     "You only ever call me pet names when we're having sex, I've noticed," he said, putting his hands on Bethany's hips and pulling her closer.

     "Probably because I stop caring about sounding corny when I can't have a coherent thought anyway," Bethany laughed breathlessly. She moaned when Ville lifted his hips up against hers sharply.

     "Do you think I sound corny when I call you pet names?" he asked, reaching up to grab her chin and make her look at him. Bethany rolled her eyes at the stern look on his face.

     "Nothing sounds corny when you say it," she assured him, kissing his lips gently before peppering more kisses over his jaw. She slipped one hand between them and wrapped her fingers around his cock, delighting in the deep groan that rumbled in his chest. His head fell back against the couch, giving her more access to his throat. She licked a long, slow line up his Adam's apple and over his chin, catching his bottom lip between her teeth as she shifted her hips and began to sink slowly onto his cock. Ville sucked in a sharp breath and dug his nails into Bethany's hips, exhaling shakily when she enveloped him completely.

     "Never going to get tired of this," he whispered.

     "Yeah?" Bethany said, rolling her hips forward. She moved as slowly as she could manage, biting her lip when Ville's eyes fell shut. He pushed at her hips, trying to get her to speed up, but she grabbed his wrists and pinned them against the back of the couch. He opened his eyes again and grinned at her.

     "Oh, is this what we're doing?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. Bethany rocked against him again and the smug expression quickly fell off his face.

     "It would be if you'd shut up," Bethany told him, pushing his hands harder against the cushions as she began to set a rhythm.

     "Yes, ma'am," Ville groaned, the corner of his lips twitching as he attempted to conceal a smirk.

     "Shut. Up," Bethany said, though she was smiling too. She kissed him hard, moaning quietly as she felt him moving within her with every motion of her body. She released her grip on his wrists and linked her fingers with his instead, still keeping him from touching her.

     Ville seemed perfectly content to let her have her way with him, though every now and then he would lift his hips up to meet hers as she rode him. Bethany couldn't find a reason to complain, not when he was sighing in her ear, whispering encouragement and filthy compliments. It wasn't long before his words stopped making a lot of sense, switching incomprehensibly between English and Finnish as his hands squeezed Bethany's so tightly it nearly hurt. Finally, with one last thrust upwards into Bethany's heat, he came, muffling his moans against her shoulder. Bethany let his hands go, running her fingers through his hair and kissing the top of his head. Ville wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as he caught his breath.

     "I fucking love you," he said, lifting his head. Bethany smiled at the look on his face, a mix of disbelief and giddiness.

     "I fucking love you too," she said, kissing him sweetly.

     "Still have enough energy for that adventure?" Ville asked, leaning back and putting his arms behind his head.

     "Sure," Bethany laughed, moving to stand on slightly shaky legs. "Shower first, though."

     "Right behind you."

Chapter Text

     "Oh, Ville. No. No way."

     "What?" Ville said, stopping and turning to look at Bethany. Her eyes were on the huge ice skating rink behind him, crowded with people who looked perfectly comfortable on the ice. That wasn't something Bethany shared in common with them.

     "I can't," she said, shaking her head. "I've never skated before."

     "Never?" Ville asked, surprised. "Well, shit. Next you'll tell me you don't know how to ride a bike, either."

     "Actually..."

     "Wow," Ville chuckled, grabbing Bethany's gloved hands in his and giving her a tug in the direction of the rink. "Guess I have two things I get to teach you, then."

     "I don't want to learn to skate in front of all these people!" Bethany whined, shifting her weight to her heels to make herself more difficult to move. "I'm going to fall on my ass."

     "Yeah, that's a given," Ville said, pulling harder on her arms. Bethany's boots slid on the salt that was spread on the sidewalk. "If you make me drag you in there like a moody toddler, I'm pretty sure that would be more embarrassing than falling on your ass. I'm not taking no for an answer. This is part of the experience."

     "You're turning into a grouchy dad on a family vacation," Bethany grinned. "'Why isn't anyone having fun? We came here to have FUN, goddammit!'"

     "Well, we did!" Ville said indignantly. "Come on, I'll do my best to keep you from falling. And if you do, I'll fall down too so you're not the only one."

     "So we can both end up in the emergency room?" Bethany asked, grudgingly letting him drag her along behind him. "How romantic."

     "I've had more than a few meaningful bonding experiences in the emergency room," Ville laughed, reaching for his wallet as they reached the entrance to the skating rink. "Nothing like getting stitched up together to bring two people closer."

     He paid the girl at the ticket booth, who Bethany noticed looked slightly starstruck even as she managed to do her job, and then they were stepping inside a small cabin-like buliding filled with racks of ice skates. They stopped at the counter and Ville told the guy working there what size skates they needed to rent. He grabbed a couple pairs and handed them to Ville, who thanked him and pulled Bethany over to a bench to change their shoes.

     "I really don't know about this," Bethany said, wobbling terribly on the blades of her skates when Ville helped her to stand. "I'm going to roll an ankle before we even get out there."

     "Want me to carry you?" Ville asked teasingly.

     "No," Bethany grumbled, holding tightly onto his hand as he led her to the ice.

     Ville stepped out first, turning to her and offering her his other hand as well. Bethany took a deep breath and grabbed his fingers tightly, taking a hesitant step onto the ice. She immediately felt like she was going down and clung to Ville tightly, bristling slightly at the way he snickered at her.

     "Okay, Bambi," he said, pulling them both off to the side of the rink close to the barrier. "First thing's first, bend your knees a little. If you're too stiff you're definitely going to slip. And don't look at your feet. I know that's hard, but it'll just make you tip over forwards."

     "Bend knees, don't look down," Bethany repeated, following his instructions. He moved back from her just a bit, still holding onto her hands. Bethany felt a little more stable, keeping her eyes on his face. "So far so good."

     "You're doing fine," Ville said with a nod. "Now, I want you to imagine you're a penguin - don't look at me like that, listen! Point your toes just a little bit outwards and shift your weight side to side. Don't worry about getting anywhere, just get used to your feet moving on the ice."

     "Okay," Bethany said, feeling a little ridiculous as she did her best penguin impression.

     "There you go," Ville said approvingly. "If you do feel like you're going to fall, try to go down on your side, not your knees or your ass. Better to bruise a hip. Bend your knees and don't try to catch yourself with your hands. No, I'm not letting go yet, I'm just telling you in advance." He added the last part quickly, catching the look of panic on Bethany's face.

     "You'd better not let go," Bethany said, squeezing his hands harder. Ville grinned at her and shook his head.

     "I'm going to start moving now," he said. "Keep your head up, and keep an eye over my shoulder so you can warn me if we're getting close to anyone. Okay?"

     "Okay," Bethany said nervously.

     Ville slowly started to skate backwards, still holding Bethany's hands tightly. Bethany tried to focus on moving her feet just slightly, getting used to the strange weightless feeling. It wasn't so bad, though she had no idea how Ville made it look so easy.

     After going on like that for a few minutes, Ville let go of one of Bethany's hands, letting her try to keep her balance on her own. She started to slide a little precariously but managed to regain her footing. They skated together slowly for a while, and Bethany was starting to feel more comfortable. She hesitantly released the death grip she had on Ville's hand, holding her arms out slightly to her sides as she glided next to him on the ice. She was about to turn to him and say something celebratory when she suddenly lost her balance and went down hard on her back.

     "Goddammit!" she groaned, staring up at the gray sky. Ville "fell" next to her with an annoying amount of grace, obviously trying to hold back laughter.

     "The first time is the worst," he said, tapping her nose with a frosty gloved finger. "Sorry I didn't try to catch you. You dropped fast."

     "No shit," Bethany sighed, glaring at him. "Now how do I get back up?"

     Ville showed her how to push herself back up to her feet before taking her hands once more. He helped her skate around the entire rink, never letting go again. Sensing that Bethany was getting a bit weary of being on the ice, he carefully guided her back to the edge, chuckling when Bethany let out a sigh of relief as her feet touched the ground again.

     "You did pretty good for your first time," he told her as they walked back to the rental area.

     "Tell that to my spine," Bethany said, pressing a hand to her lower back. "That's going to feel awesome in the morning."

     "Didn't you have any fun?" Ville pouted, collecting their shoes from the locker behind them and sitting down next to her.

     "A little," Bethany admitted, unlacing her skates. "Besides the wipeout, anyway."

     "You just need to practice," Ville said as he pulled on his boots. "That's your homework when you go back to Pennsylvania. Learn to skate so you can show me up next time."

     "Sure, I'll be an Olympic level skater for my next visit," Bethany snorted, handing her skates to Ville so he could return them.

     They left the skating rink together hand in hand, Ville showing the way through downtown Helskini. He pointed out landmarks and historical buildings as they walked, talking animatedly about his home city. Bethany smiled as she listened to him, enjoying seeing him so excited to share these things with her. She knew he wanted her to love it there as much as he did, wanted it to feel like home for her. She had to admit it was a beautiful place, seeming so much more alive and interesting than her small town back in the States.

     "Are you hungry?" Ville asked suddenly.  Bethany blinked, looking up at him.

     "I am, actually," she said, realizing they hadn't eaten all day. "Anywhere good nearby?"

     "There's a nice vegan place around the corner," Ville said. "I spend more money there than I should out of laziness."

     "A little more won't hurt, then," Bethany said, giving his hand a squeeze. She smiled when she felt him kiss the top of her head.

     The restaurant was warm and cozy, and the secluded booth they were seated at was more comfortable than it had any right to be. Bethany felt like she could melt right into the cushions. It seemed that Ville hadn't been exaggerating about coming here too often, as all the staff seemed quite familiar with him. The hostess who seated them had chatted with him easily for some time, leaving Bethany feeling slightly self-conscious. Sometimes she really hated the language barrier.

     "I promise she wasn't flirting with me," Ville said, shooting her a knowing look. "She was picking on me because I don't usually eat in. She also said you're very pretty and wanted me to tell you so."

     "I really need to learn Finnish," Bethany sighed, looking down at the menu in front of her. At least that had things in English.

     "I can try to teach you," Ville said, reaching out and taking her hand. "I'm not a great teacher, mind. I've been told by other native speakers that I talk too fast."

     "I'm not a great student, especially with languages," Bethany said, giving him an exasperated smile. "A match made in hell."

     "Isn't that just the way?" Ville grinned. "I can at least help you be somewhat conversational. More people know English here these days so knowing the basics should be enough to take the uncomfortable edge off."

     "Thanks," Bethany said, giving Ville's fingers a gentle squeeze.

     They ultimately decided to order a sampler platter with a little bit of everything since Ville insisted he liked everything on the menu and didn't know what to pick, and he wanted Bethany to try it all. The tray that came out was massive and loaded with more food than they could possibly eat.

     "So we take it home and don't have to worry about dinner," Ville shrugged, popping some kind of bite sized quiche into his mouth. "Told you, I'm lazy. I've elevated it to an art form."

     "We still have food from your mom," Bethany laughed, helping herself to a side salad topped with cranberries and walnuts.

     "Hope you're hungry then," Ville said. "You know I eat like a bird."

     "I think you're trying to make me fat," Bethany said, pointing her fork at him.

     "Aren't you supposed to get fat on vacation?" Ville asked. "I mean, I wouldn't know. I never take vacations. Or get fat, for that matter. Maybe those two things are related."

     "You're going to take one during the summer," Bethany said. "You're coming to visit me again. And you're going to help Dad work on the house."

     "So, I'm working... on vacation," Ville said, quirking an eyebrow.

     "Gotta keep that girlish figure in check," Bethany teased.

     Ville rolled his eyes and took a sip of his iced tea. He was about to say something else when Bethany's phone began to buzz on the table. She moved to dismiss the call, but stopped when she saw it was her father. She glanced up at Ville, who motioned for her to go ahead.

     "Speak of the devil," she said when she accepted the call. She smiled when Carson chuckled on the other end.

     "So that's why my ears were burning," he said. "I'm sorry I keep interrupting your time with Ville. I'll keep this short. I just wanted to let you know that I was able to make some arrangements for your mother. She's going into a good rehab facility, a very good one."

     "Oh, shit, really?" Bethany said, looking up at Ville wide eyed. "And she's cooperating?"

     "She'd be stupid not to," Carson said dryly. "It's a lot more comfortable than a cell."

     "How did you manage that?" Bethany asked, her brow creasing with worry. "Please don't tell me you had to take out some kind of horrendous loan or-"

     "Nothing like that," Carson interrupted gently. "I called in some favors. Networking has its perks, as it happens. Suffice it to say, things worked out and she's getting the help she needs. All's well that ends well."

     "If you say so," Bethany said slowly. "I'm glad to hear it, anyway. You'll keep me updated?"

     "Of course, honey," Carson said. "I'll let you go now. I love you."

     "I love you too, Dad," Bethany said. She hung up and put her phone back down on the table, chewing on her bottom lip.

     "Good news about your mom?" Ville asked.

     "Yes," Bethany said, flicking her eyes back up to his face sharply. "Dad got her into a very nice rehab facility. He said he called in a favor. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

     "I- no?" Ville said, looking suspiciously caught off guard. Bethany stared at him hard, and he sighed. "Okay, yes, but-"

     "I told you not to!" Bethany hissed, anger creeping up her spine like a flame. "I asked you to stay out of it, Ville!"

     "I know," Ville said quietly, raising his hands defensively. "I know you did, and I knew you'd be upset. I'm sorry, but I didn't feel right doing nothing when I could do something-"

     "It's not your problem to fix!" Bethany said, fighting to keep her voice down. "When she finds out how this happened, she's going to see it as a green light to ask for more!"

     "Maybe she won't be that way once she gets straightened out," Ville said.

     "You don't know her," Bethany said darkly.

     "No, I don't," Ville sighed. "I do know something about the problem she has though. I know what it does to a person. I know that it changes you and makes you do things you wouldn't otherwise. Is it so wrong of me to want to give her a chance?"

     "Why do you care so much?" Bethany demanded, crossing her arms. "Why does this matter to you?"

     "Because it matters to you."

     "It does not," Bethany said, scowling. "What she does and what she fucks up is her business. She's practically a stranger to me."

     "You don't want her to be," Ville said gently, moving to touch Bethany's arm. She quickly pulled out of his reach.

     "Don't tell me what I want," she snapped. She grabbed her phone and shoved it into her jacket pocket and grabbed her bag before sliding out of the booth and standing up. "I need some air. Get the check and meet me outside when you're done in here, alright?"

     She didn't wait for him to answer before turning on her heel and heading for the door. She sucked in a breath of freezing air when she stepped outside, leaning heavily against the wall and holding her face in her hands. She was furious, both at Ville's interference and at the simple fact that he had deliberately ignored her wishes. How many times had she asked him not to get involved? How many times had she told him that her mother was more trouble than she was worth? Why couldn't he have just listened? What made him think he knew so much better than she did?

     The door next to her opened and Ville came outside holding a bag with what Bethany assumed was their leftover food. He came to stand next to her, saying nothing as he pulled a vape pen out of his pocket and brought it to his lips. She hadn't seen him do that since she'd arrived.

     "Thought you quit," she mumbled, wrapping her arms awkwardly around her middle. Ville snorted quietly and held the vape out to her. She took it reluctantly and took a long drag for herself.

     "Stress relief," he said softly. "Haven't been stressed in a while."

     "I'm not going to say I'm sorry," Bethany said. "I'm mad at you. Like, really, really mad at you."

     "Okay," Ville said, taking his phone out of his pocket. "I'm going to get us a cab home, then."

     "Alright," Bethany said, glancing over at him. He was looking down at his phone as he ordered the taxi, his expression neutral.

     She didn't want to fight with him, she really didn't, but this got under her skin, scraping at nerves that were always a little bit raw. She hated having her concerns dismissed, she hated being patronized and infantilized, and he knew that.

     It was going to be an uncomfortable cab ride.

***

     Once they got back to the house, Ville quietly disappeared into the kitchen to put the food away. Bethany walked sulkily into the living room and dropped onto the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest. She stared moodily at the coffee table, trying to organize her thoughts into something that didn't sound whiny and petulant. It was a more arduous task than she would have liked.

     She heard Ville's footsteps in the hallway, stopping when he reached the doorway to the living room.

     "Do you want to talk now, or do you want me to leave you alone for a while?" he asked, his voice quiet and expressionless. Bethany hated how it sounded in her ears.

     "Just give me a little time," she sighed, not turning around to look at him.

     "Okay. I'll be downstairs if you need me."

     Bethany listened as his footsteps retreated down the hall, hearing the door to his studio open and the quiet creaking of the stairs. He didn't shut the door behind him. That he wasn't shutting her out completely made her heart warm a little despite her irritation. He knew she was upset, but he wasn't angry with her for it at least.

     As it was, Bethany still didn't know exactly what she wanted to say to him. She didn't know how to discuss the issue in a way that wouldn't devolve into an actual fight, and she really did not want it to go that far. Deep down, she was also afraid of exposing the cracks that she knew full well existed within their relationship. Ville's inclination to try to fix and control everything bordered on paternalistic, and it triggered a visceral response in Bethany that made her feel strange and uncertain about their dynamic. She didn't want things to be weird between them, but that did make her feel weird. She wanted a partner, not a parent.

     It made her wonder how Ville saw her, if he saw her as she wanted him to, as a woman with her own experiences and intelligence, or as a child. If he saw her as anything less than a capable adult, that spelled serious trouble. She really didn't even want to think about it.

     Bethany sighed heavily and fell sideways on the cushions, curling up into a ball. She felt tired, both physically and mentally. She wished she hadn't taken her father's phone call, wished she hadn't immediately caught onto what was going on and pushed Ville to own up to it. Ignorance probably would have been bliss. She pulled the throw blanket down from the back of the couch and over herself, choosing to close her eyes and attempt to take a nap. She hoped when she woke up she might be able to think more clearly.

***

     The chapel was empty and felt too cold, like someone had left all the doors in the building wide open in the middle of a cold snap. Bethany shivered uncontrollably in an uncomfortable wooden chair, her back stiff as if she'd been sitting there for hours. It was silent, quieter than she'd ever heard it in the building; there was no murmur of mourners' conversation, no noise from the office, no hum of equipment in the prep room downstairs. Quiet as the grave. If she weren't already freezing, her skin would have broken out in goosebumps from the eerieness.

     She saw the casket at the front of the room, saw that it was closed, yet still felt the horrible swoop of dread. She knew what lay within, even if she wasn't sure who- it was her heart, what was left of it. She didn't want to know what turn this vision was taking, not this time. She knew it was a dream, it wasn't real. Even so, she didn't want to subject herself to the sight of someone she loved in that dressed up wooden box.

     "Stubborn," came a voice from her right. Bethany looked over and saw Ville leaning casually against the wall, his head tilted back as he looked at her searchingly.

     "What, because I don't want to torture myself?" she asked hotly.

     "I'd say not facing the uncomfortable thoughts you keep pushing to the back of your mind is more torture than just taking a look," Ville said with a shrug. "It's all metaphorical anyway. I think you know that."

     "Doesn't look much like a metaphor sitting up there," Bethany sighed, leaning forward and holding her head in her hands. "So, what? What am I avoiding? Why don't you tell me, since you're so fucking wise?"

     "Interesting word choice," Ville said thoughtfully. "'Wise'. Having second thoughts about getting involved with someone fifteen years your senior?"

     "I wasn't," Bethany grumbled. "Until you started acting all... However you're acting right now."

     "It's always bothered you," Ville said, his tone still perfectly even and calm. "For different reasons at different times, sure. But it bothers you."

     "I don't want it to," Bethany said, lifting her head and staring at the front of the room. The casket was lit with awful ghostly blue lights. She shuddered. "It shouldn't matter."

     "But it does," Ville said, finally pushing himself off the wall and coming to sit beside Bethany. "Ignoring it doesn't make it not matter. If it turns out it's not something you can deal with-"

     "Shut up," Bethany said, her voice harsh and rough as she turned to glare at him. "I'm not going to leave because of that, of all things."

     "You sure?"

     "Fucking positive," Bethany said, getting to her feet. "Don't be stupid."

     "Okay," Ville said, folding his arms behind his head and kicking his feet up on the chair in front of him. "You still have to deal with your shit, though. I can't do that for you."

     "Why not?" Bethany asked, putting her hands on her hips. "You're a figment of my imagination."

     "Good for dispensing your own subconscious wisdom and little else," he said, flashing her a crooked grin. "Go on. Do the scary thing you don't want to do. I'll wait."

     Bethany huffed and turned back toward the casket, forcing her numb feet to carry her into the aisle. She was trembling as she approached, her heart hammering painfully against her ribs. She reached out a shaking hand and touched the dark wood, surprised to find it was warm beneath her fingers. She drew in a breath and lifted the lid, bracing herself, only to find that it was...

     Empty.

     Bethany blinked. The chapel was suddenly a jarringly comfortable temperature. The lights returned to their usual warm glow. She spun around to see that Ville had disappeared. She stood alone in a perfectly normal, harmless room.

     She laughed.

Chapter Text

     "Hey. Beth, wake up."

     Bethany's eyes snapped open and she looked up at Ville, who was kneeling next to the couch with a look of concern on his face.

     "You were making noises in your sleep," he said, gently running his fingers through her hair. "Are you alright?"

     "Yeah," Bethany said hoarsely, covering her face with her arm. "Just dreaming."

     "Was it a bad dream?"

     "Yes?" Bethany said, rubbing at her eyes. "And no? I don't know. My brain is a weird place."

     "I can relate," Ville laughed softly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

     "Maybe," Bethany sighed, pushing herself to sit up. "If you feel like talking to me, anyway."

     "Of course I do," Ville said, frowning. "I'm not upset with you. I never was. I knew you were going to be angry with me when you found out what I did. I was expecting it. I didn't think you'd figure it out so fast, but that just shows what I know, I guess."

     "Yeah, that's the problem," Bethany said, rubbing at her eyes tiredly. "You think you know what's best for me and everyone else, but you don't. Not really. You don't get to make decisions for other people, Ville. You don't get to ignore me when I ask you not to poke around in things I don't want you to. I need you to respect me or else this all just starts to feel... weird."

     "I do tend to turn into a bit of a steam roller sometimes," Ville admitted. "I do respect you, Bethany. I promise I do. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I don't."

     "I just need us to be equals," Bethany said, looking at him seriously. "I can't deal with you treating me as anything less."

     "Is that what I've been doing?" Ville asked meekly.

     "Feels that way sometimes," Bethany said, fidgeting with the blanket in her lap. "I get that you're protective but sometimes you border on smothering. What I'm trying to say in the least uncomfortable way possible is, I already have a dad. I don't need another one. Okay?"

     "Ugh," Ville muttered, grimacing. "Yeah. Message received. Fuck, I'm sorry."

     "It's alright," Bethany said, leaning forward and putting her arms around Ville's neck. He hugged her back, pushing his face into her shoulder. "So... How much money did you drop on my mother?"

     "This is the part where I tell you not to go poking around," Ville said. He pulled away and got to his feet, rubbing the back of his neck. "Don't worry about it. If it makes you feel better, I won't buy you any Christmas or birthday gifts for a few years. How's that?"

     "Yeah, right," Bethany said, giving him a skeptical look. "You buy me presents because it's a Tuesday and you're in a good mood. You have a problem."

     "It's called a 'love language', not a 'problem', thank you ever so much."

     "I think you owe it to me to tell me," Bethany said, crossing her arms. "Since you did it behind my back knowing I didn't want you to."

     "Fine," Ville sighed, looking away and shoving his hands in his pockets. "Twenty-five thousand."

     "Twenty-five thousand dollars?!" Bethany shouted, her mouth falling open. "Ville Hermanni Valo!"

     "Ooh, the middle name," Ville said, grinning sheepishly. "I really am in the doghouse."

     "I can't fucking believe you," Bethany groaned, falling heavily against the back of the couch.

     "Hey, it's half of what it cost to get my head out of my ass," Ville said with a shrug. "I told your dad to pick a rehab center and that I'd cover the cost. He probably could have done better, but I think he was trying to go easy on me. Not to toot my own horn about the state of my bank account, but I promise this didn't set me back. If there's even a chance it helps, I'm glad to do it."

     "You really are something else," Bethany said, staring up at him in disbelief. "But... thank you. You shouldn't have, and I have no clue what you said to Dad to get him to go along with it, but thank you. Maybe it will help. Maybe this time will be different."

     "Maybe," Ville said, leaning down and kissing her forehead. "Come on. Get up and come help me make some sort of dinner out of whatever the hell we've managed to accumulate in the fridge."

***

     Later that evening, Bethany was sitting on the couch in Ville's studio helping him sort through the mess of leftover merch they'd left scattered all over the floor that morning. He'd told her to take whatever she wanted and she'd accumulated a small pile of T-shirts, hoodies, and stickers. They carefully folded the rest and stacked everything inside the less smushed boxes, labelling them and setting them aside to be taken up to the attic. "Eventually," Ville had said. Bethany suspected she'd have to get them up there herself before she left or else the boxes would still be taking up space in the studio next time she came to visit.

     "I did lie earlier," Ville said, taping the second to last box shut. "About not getting you a birthday gift this year. It's already done, no take backsies."

     "This is my surprised face," Bethany said dryly, keeping her features expressionless. "You gonna tell me what it is?"

     "Fuck no," Ville snickered, kicking the box into the corner to join the others. He laid down on the floor, stretching his back. "And don't bother guessing, you'll never get it right."

     "I feel like it's relevant that you're bringing it up right this second," Bethany said, shooting him a scrutinizing look. "Did you write me a song or something? Did being down here make you think of it?"

     "No, no songs yet," Ville chuckled, propping himself up on his elbows. "Nothing personal about that, mind you. I'm still a little burnt out is all. Never fear, you'll have a whole album to yourself before too long."

     "Oh, don't do that!" Bethany squeaked, her cheeks going pink.

     "Why not?" Ville asked, looking a little put out. "That's one of the main draws of dating me. What else do I have to offer besides my lovesick caterwauling and mediocre musicianship?"

     "Shut up," Bethany laughed, sliding off the couch and crawling over to Ville. She straddled his waist and gently ran her hands up his stomach to rest on his chest. "You are way more than your musical ability. Everything else you do for me is worth a million songs."

     "But why don't you want songs?" Ville persisted. Bethany sighed and shook her head.

     "It's not that I don't," she said. "I just feel weird about like... you writing songs for me, about me, and then putting it out into the world. I know you keep it vague but when people know you're with somebody, the inspiration is pretty obvious."

     "So? I love you. You make me happy. Should I not share that feeling?" Ville looked genuinely hurt, and Bethany suddenly felt like kicking herself for even opening her mouth.

     "I don't mean it like that," she said pleadingly, slumping her shoulders. "I guess I'm a little... I don't know, self-conscious? Afraid of having something so personal and special turned into something that anyone can peek into and pass judgement on? Does that make sense?"

     "I suppose," Ville said, frowning. "Maybe I've gotten too accustomed to putting my personal feelings on display for public consumption. But that's why I keep everything else so close to the chest. People might figure out the 'who', but very rarely do they figure out the 'what' or 'why'. It's extremely entertaining to watch them try, though."

     "Why is fucking with people your favorite pastime?" Bethany asked, her mouth turning up in a knowing smile.

     "You'd do it too if you were just some idiot with too much good luck who had thousands of people hanging on your every word," Ville grinned. "So maybe I like having that kind of power. Crucify me."

     "I suppose I can allow you your fun," Bethany said, leaning down to kiss the tip of Ville's nose and giggling when he scrunched up his face.

     "Well, thank God for that," he said. "I'd have been in real trouble if my muse actually forbid me from writing about her."

     "Your muse, huh?" Bethany laughed softly. "Hope I have better luck than the ones that came before me."

     "Hey," Ville said gently, reaching up to touch the side of Bethany's face. "Don't do that. You don't think getting songs written about you is some kind of curse, do you?"

     "There does seem to be a pattern," Bethany said, only half-joking. Ville's tsked and rolled his eyes.

     "If anyone has been unlucky, it's been me," he muttered. "Though I suppose that does depend on who you ask. But no, Beth. This is different. We're different. This is going to work out. I'll make it work out if it kills me."

     "Don't say that," Bethany groaned, thinking uneasily of her dream.

     "Metaphorically of course," Ville said, lying back down on the floor with his arms folded behind his head. "Would you die tonight for love and all that silly shit I like to say."

     "You're so dumb," Bethany said, shaking her head as she met his amused gaze.

     "As advertised!" Ville said cheerfully. "And now you're stuck with me."

     "I could leave right now," Bethany pointed out. "Door's right upstairs."

     "You won't," Ville said, smirking.

     "No," Bethany said, absently tracing the shape of a heart over his chest with her fingers. "I won't."

Chapter Text

     "Is the blindfold seriously necessary?"

     "Yes."

     "You really don't trust me to keep my eyes closed?"

     "Not even a little."

     Bethany sighed dramatically and slouched in her seat, shooting Ville a glare he couldn't see when he snickered beside her. He'd woken her up (very pleasantly, she had to admit) around one in the afternoon, having allowed her to sleep in for her birthday and informed her that they had somewhere to be later that evening. They'd spent most of the afternoon in bed, and then he'd shooed her off to get all dolled up for her "surprise". When she'd come down the stairs dressed in a cute but fairly practical outfit, she'd found him in the entryway having a furtive phone conversation in Finnish and holding a scarf in his hand.

     That scarf was now tied around her head, obscuring her view as they sat in a taxi going... somewhere. Ville was being terribly smug about the whole thing.

     "I don't even know what or where anything is here," Bethany whined. "I'm going to get motion sick not being able to see."

     "Oh, hush," Ville said, kissing her cheek. "We're here. Don't take it off, you will know where we are. Sit tight for a minute."

     The taxi did indeed slow to a stop as Ville spoke with the driver for a moment. Bethany heard him get out of the cab, curse as he (she presumed) nearly slipped on a patch of ice, then open her door.

     "You good?" she teased as he took her hand and helped her out of the car.

     "Oh, yeah," Ville said, shutting the door and carefully guiding Bethany onto the sidewalk. "Just had my life flash before my eyes for a second, no big deal. I'll admit it would be pretty funny if what finally took me out was the local weather..."

     "I'm going to be what takes you out if you don't take this scarf off my face," Bethany said sourly.

     Ville snorted and squeezed her upper arms in lieu of a response, continuing to push her forward. Bethany felt the temperature suddenly rise and guessed they must have gone inside a building. The smell that hit her nose, a mixture of cigarette smoke, sweat, and stale booze, immediately reminded her of a club.

     "Is this Tavastia?" she asked. Ville stopped dead behind her, still holding onto her arms. He was silent for a moment, then he huffed and started untying the knot at the back of her head.

     "Good job, Nancy Drew," he said, finally getting the scarf off her head and draping it over her shoulders instead. "What gave it away?"

     "It's smelly, like you," Bethany teased, turning around and grinning up at him.

     "I beg your pardon!" Ville scoffed, wrinkling his nose. "I haven't smelled like this place in a long time."

     "Sure, but I can imagine what it was like when you did," Bethany giggled, looking around. They were in a back hallway with walls covered in graffiti and scribbles. She'd seen it in pictures a thousand times. "So... What are we doing here?"

     "I'm not telling you," Ville said, motioning for her to keep moving down the hallway. Bethany could hear people talking and laughing nearby, conversations blending with occasional notes of music. "But I'm sure you'll figure it out. Through here."

     He opened a door to their left and let Bethany walk through first. She almost stumbled in surprise; the venue was full of people, some she vaguely recognized as friends and fellow musicians in Ville's social circle. It wasn't as packed as she'd seen it in pictures and videos in the past, but it was still a rather impressive crowd. The stage at the front of the room was all set up, with a silver heartagram - the original - emblazoned on a tapestry as a backdrop.

     "Wh- are you...?"

     "You told me once that you never got to see us," Ville said coyly, putting an arm around Bethany's shoulders. "Couldn't let that stand, could I?"

     "You're all here?" Bethany asked, her mouth falling open. "All of you?"

     "All present and reporting for duty, ma'am," Ville said, giving her a little salute. "I only had to give everyone a tiny bit of puppy eyes. And a few threats of bodily harm. Turns out I've still got it."

     "And all these people?"

     "Friends, friends of friends, colleagues in musical shitheadery," Ville said, smiling fondly as he looked over the crowd. "I thought it would be a little lame to play to a nearly empty room. You deserve the full experience. Hope you're ready to meet about a hundred people tonight."

     "No pressure," Bethany laughed nervously, chewing her lip.

     "Hey," Ville said, catching her chin in his hand and leaning down to kiss her. "Don't freak out. It'll be fine. I'll be with you when we all hang out after the show. I'm not throwing you to the wolves, friendly as they may be."

     "Promise?" Bethany asked.

     "Promise," Ville confirmed with a nod. "I am going to hand you off to my parents up front, however. I'm needed elsewhere."

     Together they skirted around the crowd of people, mostly managing to avoid notice. Upon reaching the front row, Bethany immediately spotted Anita's red hair and Kari dressed in an old leather vest, the two of them chatting animatedly with a bearded man Bethany thought looked familiar.

     "Special delivery!" Ville sang, raising his voice over the din of conversation. His parents turned and smiled widely at the sight of Bethany, immediately pulling her in for hugs.

     "Happy Birthday, darling!" Anita said, kissing Bethany's cheek.

     "Were you surprised?" Kari asked, chuckling. "I nearly spoiled it several times when you came over for lunch last week. Thought this one was going to strangle me." He nodded at Ville who rolled his eyes and shook his head.

     "Very surprised," Bethany laughed. "It's great to see you guys again."

     "And this," Ville said, gesturing at the man who'd been talking to his parents, "is Juska Salminen, the most patient and forgiving motherfucker I have ever met in my life."

     "Oh, you," Juska snickered, waving off Ville's compliment. He grinned at Bethany and held out his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Bethany, and a happy birthday to you!"

     "I thought I recognized you!" Bethany said, smiling as she shook his hand. "Thank you, it's nice to meet you too."

     "Alright, I need to get back there before someone sends out a search party," Ville said, hugging Bethany from behind and kissing her cheek. "Keep Mum and Dad out of trouble, will you? They do love to party..."

     "Will do," Bethany giggled, turning and looking up at him. "Thank you for this. I love you."

     "Save your thanks and love until after the show," Ville said, his smile betraying a hint of nerves. "We might totally blow it up there."

     "Doubt it," Bethany said, standing on her tip toes and kissing him lovingly. "Good luck, anyway."

     Ville gave her one last hug before he moved to the edge of the stage and hoisted himself up onto it. He laughed and waved in response to the smattering of applause and cheering that rose up from the people who spotted him before disappearing backstage.

     "I don't know what he's nervous for," Anita tutted, putting an arm around Bethany and pulling her to stand next to her. "It doesn't matter how long it's been, you put those boys on a stage together and it's magic."

     "I never thought I'd get to see it," Bethany said softly, looking up at the heartagram and feeling her heart beat just a little faster.

     "He knew you'd be happy," Anita said, patting Bethany's arm.

     "He was right," Bethany said, smiling widely. "He's always right."

     "Don't let him hear you say that!" Kari and Juska exclaimed in unison. Bethany and Anita looked back and forth between the two men before dissolving into giggles.

     They do have a point...

     As it turned out, Ville had indeed been silly to be so nervous. The band's entrance was met with thunderous applause and deafening cheers, and they performed as if they'd never stopped. All five of them looked thrilled to be together again, laughing and joking and clearly having a great time. They played a bit from every album, careful to include all of Bethany's favorites that Ville had weaseled out of her over their months of being together. Finally, as things were coming to a close, Ville raised a hand to signal for quiet, a tired but satisfied smile on his face.

     "First of all," he began, "thank you all so much for coming out tonight. It means a lot that you all still love us and we didn't even have to pay you to show up."

     He paused while everyone laughed, chuckling a little himself before continuing:

     "But this wasn't just for shits and giggles. This reunion was a birthday gift for someone who is incredibly important to me. My girlfriend, Bethany, let it slip to me once that she'd never gotten to see us all play together, and I would be the shittiest boyfriend in the world if I didn't do something about that. So, thank you guys," he turned and grinned at his bandmates, "for saving my ass one more time."

     "Not much there to save," Mige said dryly into his microphone, rousing another wave of giggles.

     "Watch it, funnyman," Ville said, narrowing his eyes at his friend. "Anyway, as I said, this is a birthday celebration. And while I won't drag Bethany up here for fear she might burst into flames from embarrassment, I am going to ask everyone to join me in singing Happy Birthday."

     "Nooooo," Bethany moaned loudly, covering her face. The people around her who could hear her laughed and patted her on the back while Ville snorted above her.

     "You know I could do worse," he told her, raising an eyebrow. "Don't tempt me, woman."

     "Oh, fine," Bethany said, waving a hand.

     Ville led everyone in attendance in serenading Bethany in both English and Finnish, which made her face heat and her eyes tear up. As the band showed off a little by way of farewell, Ville hopped down off the stage right in front of Bethany and pulled her in for a very sweaty hug and a sweet kiss.

     "Did I do good?" he asked in her ear, still holding her close.

     "So good," she replied, hugging him as hard as she could. "I love you so much."

     "I love you too, sweetheart. More than anything in this world."

     Immediately following the show was an informal party. Tables with snacks and drinks appeared out of seemingly nowhere as the crowd thinned a bit. While Bethany was sure she wasn't actually introduced to a hundred people, it certainly felt like it.

     "I'm never going to remember all these people's names," she muttered in Ville's ear as he returned to her side after wandering off to get her a drink and slice of red velvet cake.

     "Ah, that's alright," he chuckled, swiping his finger through the icing on her cake and sticking it in his mouth, ignoring the dirty look she gave him. "You probably won't see most of them again, at least not for a while. Really it's a miracle we have them all in one place right now."

     "Did I really just watch you defile this poor woman's birthday cake right in front of her?"

     Bethany turned around to see a man with pitch black spiked hair dressed head to toe in leather giving Ville a scolding look. It quickly melted into a smirk when he caught Bethany's eye.

     "What? I don't want a whole piece of cake," Ville said with a shrug. "Bethany, please forgive me for putting you through yet another introduction, but this one is a little important. This is Jussi Vuori, drummer for The 69 Eyes and one of my oldest friends. Jussi, my beautiful girlfriend, Bethany Phillips."

     "Enchanted, Miss Bethany," Jussi said, holding out his hand to her. Bethany took it and blushed when he immediately kissed her knuckles. "My prayers go with you, since you have to put up with this dickhead."

     "He's not so bad," Bethany said, glancing up at Ville who had an exaggerated look of exhaustion on his face. "Usually."

     "It's okay, you don't have to lie to him," Ville said, giving her a wink. "He knows."

     "Hell of a show tonight, Valo," Jussi said with an approving nod. "You guys thinking of coming back for real?"

     "Ah," Ville sighed, glancing across the room where the rest of HIM had congregated around a table to eat, "I don't know. I won't say tonight didn't feel good, but... We hung it up for a reason. I'm not going to push. I know where things stand. They did me a solid tonight."

     "Sure," Jussi said easily, clapping Ville on the shoulder. "Just saying. It's like you never left."

     "Thanks, man," Ville said, smiling wistfully.

     "Of course," Jussi said. "Anyway, not to be a lame old man, but I'm afraid I have to dip out early. I have shit to do at the radio station at ass o' clock in the morning."

     "All good!" Ville said, nodding. "Thanks for coming and bringing your people along."

     "Anytime," Jussi smiled. He turned to Bethany again and gave her arm a squeeze. "Happy Birthday, Bethany. It was lovely to meet you."

     "Thanks, it was great to meet you, too!" Bethany said. Jussi gave them both a wave before turning and heading for the exit. Bethany looked up at Ville, frowning slightly at the troubled look that had crept over his face.

     "What?" he asked glancing down at her.

     "You look upset," Bethany said, tilting her head. "You okay?"

     "Yeah... yeah," Ville said, scrubbing a hand over his face and smearing his already haggard-looking eyeliner in the process. "Just thinking. I shouldn't do that so much. Come on, let's go sit down finally and hang out with the guys. You still need to meet Gas and Burton."

     Sensing that Ville really didn't want to discuss what was on his mind, Bethany let the matter drop and allowed him to guide her over to his former bandmates. They seemed to be deep in debate about something until Linde spotted Ville, instantly adopting a deer-in-headlights expression. Ville caught it right away.

     "Did I interrupt you all talking shit?" he asked, pulling out a chair for Bethany. "I'm sure I deserve it but damn, can't even go one night?"

     "Not talking shit," Burton said, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. "Worse. Also, hi Bethany. I'm Burton. A pleasure to meet you."

     "You, too," Bethany said, taking her seat across from him. Gas was sitting beside him and also nodded in greeting.

     "You must be something special to get him to ask us all to come out of our hidey-holes," he chuckled. "Gas, by the way. Happy Birthday."

     "Thanks," Bethany laughed. "It's awesome to finally get to see you all. I've heard so much about you."

     "All very flattering and true, I'm sure!" Burton snorted.

     "Speaking of flattering and true," Ville drawled, taking the seat next to Bethany and grabbing an unopened Coke from the middle of the table, "what is 'worse' than talking shit about me?"

     "Trying to figure out which one of us had your tongue in our mouths the most times," Mige said casually, snickering when Bethany nearly choked on the cake she'd been in the process of swallowing.

     "Lovely," Ville sighed, thumping Bethany on the back a few times before nudging her glass of iced tea closer to her hand. Once he'd seen her take a sip and determined she wasn't in distress, he continued. "Obviously it was you, Mige. You were effectively my band husband. There isn't even a competition to be had."

     "According to your comically spotty memory," Linde said over the rim of his cup. "I've kissed you more times than I've kissed my wife, I think."

     "Cosigned," Gas said, nodding gravely.

     "Sorry, Bethany," Burton said, trying to hide his grin behind his hand. "I'm afraid you have all of our cooties."

     "Good lord," Bethany groaned, though she was fighting back giggles of her own.

     "I'm sure there's a limit to how long cooties stick around," Ville snorted. "Terribly sorry for being affectionate with you all, by the way. I had to balance out my uncontrollable urge to be a raging cunt somehow."

     "Ah, the self-awareness, the growth," Mige said, pretending to wipe away a tear. "Our little boy really is all grown up."

     The night continued on with many stories of "the old days", each getting progressively more raunchy and implausible the more the band helped themselves to the open bar. Ville didn't partake at all, which no one commented on, least of all Bethany. He still seemed to be a little down, even as the group decided to call it a night and said their only slightly teary-eyed goodbyes. As they stood outside waiting for their cab, Bethany wrapped her arms around Ville's waist and looked up at him questioningly.

     "I can tell something is bothering you," she said softly. "You know you can talk to me."

     "I know," Ville said tiredly, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her forehead. "It's just... a lot of things. I didn't think tonight would make me..."

     "Miss it?" Bethany finished for him, rubbing gentle circles on his lower back.

     "Yeah," Ville said, letting out a long breath. "It's complicated. I don't know what I want right now. I know I just need a few days to compartmentalize everything, but for this moment, everything feels bigger, louder... It's strange."

     "I think it's normal," Bethany said. "They were your family for so long. They still are. I know you miss them, and everything else."

     "Sure," Ville said with a nod. "Still. I have to be realistic. There's not a spring chicken among us. As nice as tonight was, I know trying to get back in the game is a whole other animal. I know that all too well now."

     "If you decided you wanted to, I'd support you," Bethany said, reaching up and brushing her thumb over his cheek. "I want you to know that."

     "Thank you," Ville said, his voice barely more than a whisper. He took her hand from his face and pressed a warm kiss to her palm. "Come on, taxi's pulling up. Time to go home and put this old man down for a nap."

     Bethany rolled her eyes but made no comment, feeling rather excited about collapsing into bed herself. Once they were seated comfortably in the back of the cab and on their way home, she leaned against Ville's side and snuggled against his shoulder.

     "Best birthday ever," she told him sleepily.

     "Yeah?" he laughed softly, kissing the top of her head.

     "Absolutely."

Chapter Text

     It was early in the morning when Bethany woke up the day after her birthday. She could tell because Ville's bedroom was still pitch black, not a hint of sunlight peeking through the windows. Though she felt remarkably awake and well rested, Ville was clearly not as he lay sprawled over almost the entire bed on his stomach, his face half smushed into his pillow while he snored loudly. Bethany swallowed a giggle and restrained the urge to take a picture, knowing the flash from her phone camera would wake him up.

     She checked the time and found that it was just after six, which was good enough for her. She slowly slid out from beneath the covers, probably more cautiously than she really needed to, and quietly left the bedroom. She headed for the kitchen, a plan to pay Ville back for his unbelievably kind birthday gift already formed in her mind. It wouldn't come anywhere close to his thoughtfulness, but it was a start.

     Bethany's first mission was figuring out where Ville kept his coffee. Once she located it (there was just enough of the bag she'd bought him for his birthday left for one more pot), she started the coffee maker and then began rifling through the rest of the cupboards. She gathered up ingredients for pancakes, then raided the fridge for Ville's vegan substitutes for the usual breakfast fare - veggie sausage, egg scramble, bacon and the like. Bethany had been a little surprised at Ville's fondness for processed vegan junk food at first, but she supposed she shouldn't have been. When it came to food, "convenient and lazy" was definitely his middle name.

     Once she'd cooked everything and only made a slight mess of the kitchen, she went searching for some kind of tray to put everything on. Under the sink she found what appeared to be an actual antique serving tray that had to be at least a hundred years old, hidden unceremoniously beneath an untidy pile of clean dish rags. She rolled her eyes at Ville's selective care for his nice personal belongings as she carefully washed and dried it before loading it up with a plate of food and a couple cups of coffee.

     After a nerve-wracking trip up the stairs, Bethany gingerly nudged the bedroom door open with her foot, smiling when Ville slowly lifted his head up at the sound of the hinges creaking. He squinted at her in the darkness for a moment before rolling over with a groan and flicking on the lamp on the nightstand.

     "What's all this?" he yawned, rubbing his eyes sleepily as he sat up.

     "Breakfast," Bethany said, crossing the room and placing the tray on the bed in front of him. She gently ruffled his hair and gave him a kiss. "To say thank you."

     "For what?" Ville asked, taking her hand from his head and kissing her knuckles.

     "Yesterday," Bethany said, raising an eyebrow. "And, I mean... everything else, ever. But mostly yesterday."

     "Oh," Ville chuckled, grabbing his coffee cup and taking a drink. "You don't have to thank me for that, sweetheart. To tell you the truth, I... I wanted an excuse. You were right, I missed it very much."

     "I know," Bethany said, moving around the bed and coming to sit down beside him. She grabbed a slice of veggie bacon of the plate (which she'd purposely filled with enough food for the both of them) and took a tentative bite. It was weirdly good. It wasn't bacon, but it was good. "Still feeling complicated feelings about it?"

     "I'm always feeling complicated feelings," Ville snorted, picking up his fork and stabbing at some scrambled eggs.

     "And you're always evading the question," Bethany said, giving him a sideways glance. He caught her eye and scrunched up his face at her before putting a forkful of food in his mouth, plainly giving himself more time to evade the question.

     "I can't ask everyone to pick up and follow me all over the planet anymore," he said finally. "If we're being totally honest, there are some mildly strained relations. Everyone was on their best behavior last night, mostly for your benefit."

     "Oh," Bethany said, blinking in surprise. "Could have fooled me. You all seemed perfectly happy to see each other."

     "Absence makes the heart grow at least a little fonder," Ville said, rolling his eyes. "I wasn't kidding last night when I said I used to be a real piece of work. I've said and done a lot of things that I shouldn't have. I wasn't always a very good friend. I think that by the end of things, pretty much everyone was ready to be done working with me, and I understand that. It's fine, it really is. What's done is done."

     "I'm sorry," Bethany said quietly. "I didn't know that at all."

     "That's alright," Ville said, gently nudging her with his elbow. "We did have a lot of fun. You forget the bullshit when you're up on stage. It makes you work as a unit whether you like it or not, and then you end up liking it anyway. And I did have some long talks with everyone, tried to make amends for my decades of stupidity. We're better than we were, so that's something."

     "I'm glad to hear it," Bethany said, leaning over to kiss Ville's cheek as she took her coffee from the tray. "And again, thank you. That was the loveliest thing anyone's ever done for me."

     "I'd do anything for you, love. Anything."

***

     Once the sun came up, Ville and Bethany got dressed and bundled up against the chill and went for a long walk around the area near Ville's house. It was still bitterly cold, but the sun peeked through the clouds enough to melt a surprising amount of snow. Bethany managed to limit herself to jumping in only one mud puddle, to Ville's equal amusement and exasperation.

     "I'd like to see it here in the summer," Bethany sighed, resting her head on Ville's shoulder as they walked past a row of shops along a main street.

     "When we all go extra looney toons?" Ville laughed. "It's something, that's for sure. Maybe you could come out for a little while before or after I come to visit you."

     "I'm going to get fired for taking all that time off," Bethany muttered, more to herself than to Ville. He heard her anyway and squeezed her hand where his fingers were interlaced with hers.

     "Are you planning on staying on after all?" he asked, his tone strangely unreadable. Bethany looked up at him, her expression troubled.

     "I still don't know," she sighed. "Seems reckless to just go home and put in my two weeks out of the blue."

     "Is it 'out of the blue' if we've discussed it extensively?" Ville asked, raising his eyebrows.

     "I've been there since I was eighteen, Ville," Bethany said, chewing her lip. "Those people are like my family. They've been counting on me being a lifer. I have to consider them, too."

     "What about you?" Ville pressed, slowing to a stop and standing with his back against the window of a small grocery store. He looked down at her, his expression serious but still compassionate. "I hate seeing you killing yourself for this. I'd say after, what, fifteen years? You get to make your own decisions about whether you should stay or go. You're not obligated to anyone."

     "The Franklins have taken care of me for a long time," Bethany said wearily. "In more ways than just giving me a paycheck. When everything... happened... they went above and beyond for me. You know I didn't have to cook for myself for something like six months? The casseroles and boxes of groceries just kept coming. James, Mr. Franklin's son, introduced me to my therapist, got me to the front of a year long wait-list. Mrs. Franklin came by every Wednesday when I was off just to sit with me and talk or play cards, or hold me while I bawled my eyes out. Yeah, the work is hard on me, but... I owe them. I owe them a lot."

     "Sometimes people are kind because they love you, Beth," Ville said softly, a hint of frustration crossing his face. "Not everything is a transaction. You don't always have to pay people back. It's not wrong to let yourself be cared about."

     "This isn't just about the funeral home," Bethany said, the words more a statement than a question.

     "It isn't," Ville confirmed, the corner of his mouth lifting in a grim smile. Bethany sighed and closed her eyes, lifting her face up to the sunshine.

     "You're right," she said, raising her hands in surrender. "You're always right. Damn you."

     "You really should stop saying that to me," Ville laughed, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. "I like the way it sounds too much."

     "Dumb, giant egomaniac," Bethany mumbled against his coat.

     "Tiny little martyr," Ville retorted, poking her in the ribs.

     "What a pair we are."

     "You know, I just realized something," Ville said, suddenly perking up considerably. "We never got around to making that birthday cake."

     "Gosh, I'd love to peek into your brain and see how the fuck it works sometime," Bethany laughed, pulling away to stare at him bemusedly. "You give me whiplash on the regular."

     "Store has a sale on whipped cream," Ville said, pointing at a sign next to the door. "I was very much looking forward to misusing whipped cream."

     "Oh, let's go then," Bethany said, rolling her eyes and grinning as she grabbed his hand and pulled him inside the grocery store.

Chapter Text

     "You were right. This is the least vegan cake I've ever laid eyes on."

     "What did you expect?" Bethany snickered, carefully pouring the bowl of tres leches sauce in her hand over the golden brown cake in front of her. "It's literally 'three milks' cake."

     "I mean, sure," Ville said, watching as the sauce disappeared into all the little holes Bethany had poked into the cake. "But that's a lot."

     "It's my favorite," Bethany said, carrying the now empty bowl to the sink before going to the fridge and pulling out two cans of whipped cream. "And while I am going to dock some points for us cheating and not making our own whipped cream frosting, I'll allow it for your amusement."

     "Oh, we could have," Ville grinned, taking the can that Bethany held out to him. "These really were just for my... amusement."

     "Have I ever mentioned how much I hate being sticky?" Bethany grumbled, popping the cap off the whipped cream and shaking the can. Ville raised his eyebrows suggestively at her as she did this, and she rolled her eyes. "You are terrible today. Have I mentioned that also?"

     "Couple times," Ville chuckled, pulling the cap off of his can and immediately turning it upside down to squirt whipped cream directly into his mouth. He caught Bethany's bemused stare and almost snorted it out of his nose. "What? Might as well if I'm going to be eating that thing anyway."

     "I can already hear you crying about your stomach hurting," Bethany sighed, beginning to cover the cake in an even layer of cream.

     "Worth it," Ville said with a shrug, grabbing a box of blueberries off the table and tossing a handful into his mouth. "There. Balance."

     "Save some for the cake!" Bethany whined, finishing up with her frosting and snatching the container out of Ville's hand. "This is like baking with a toddler."

     "Am I a toddler or an annoyingly horny adult man?" Ville asked, trying to contain a smirk. "You really have to pick one or the other."

     "I would if you would," Bethany said pointedly, focusing intently on dotting the cake with berries to avoid having to look up at him. She blushed at the sound of his laughter anyway, watching out of the corner of her eye as he came around the table and moved to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

     "Well then hurry up, I've made a decision," Ville said softly in her ear before punctuating the statement by kissing her cheek. Bethany sighed and let her head fall back against his shoulder.

     "You're really committed to the whipped cream thing, huh?" she asked, suddenly unable to inject as much exasperation into her tone as she would have liked. Ville's laugh rumbled in his chest against her back, weakening her resolve even further.

     "Don't worry," he said, one hand sneaking its way up underneath Bethany's shirt to rest on her stomach, "I promise I'll get it all off, one way or another."

     "Slow down, cowboy," Bethany laughed, pushing him backwards with her butt and taking the cake from the table. "At least let me get this in the fridge."

     Ville grinned and helpfully opened the fridge door for her, closing it again once she stepped back before pushing her up against it and catching her lips in a kiss. Bethany hummed appreciatively and wrapped her arms around Ville's waist, pulling him closer.

     "Upstairs?" Ville asked, trailing kisses down Bethany's neck as his hands moved to squeeze her hips. Bethany giggled when his thumbs brushed over a ticklish spot and she quickly grabbed them to stop him from doing it again.

     "Unless you want me to do my best cake impression on the kitchen table, yes," she said, squirming out of his grasp and scurrying to the doorway. "You'll have to catch me."

     "You're going to make me run?" Ville asked incredulously. "Me? Here in my own house?"

     "Cry more!" Bethany trilled, whipping around the corner and sprinting down the hallway, nearly slipping on the hardwood in her socks. She quickly pulled them off and threw them in the direction of the shoe cubby by the door before starting up the stairs.

     She heard Ville sigh exaggeratedly in the kitchen, followed the sound of him dashing after her as she laughed, taking the stairs two at a time. To her surprise, he actually caught her halfway down the upstairs hallway, his arms snaking around her waist as he chuckled in her ear.

     "You might be fast, but my legs are longer," he teased, purposely digging his fingers into that ticklish spot on her hip again.

     "Stooooop!" Bethany squealed, dissolving into giggles and sinking to the floor. Ville went down with her, not the least bit interested in relenting. Bethany heard the sound of a metal can rolling across the floor and clinking against the wall and she looked to where the whipped cream had gotten away from him. She lunged for it, just barely managing to grab it, then turned in Ville's arms and quickly squirted some right on his nose.

     "Hey!" Ville cried in protest, blinking where some of it had gotten worryingly close to his eye. "You need to work on your aim, madam."

     "You're one to talk," Bethany snorted. Ville barked out a laugh, clearly taken aback.

     "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," he said, finally releasing Bethany from his hold. Bethany smiled innocently and moved to sit on his lap before leaning in and licking the whipped cream off of his nose, laughing when he made a face.

     "Hey, this was your idea," she reminded him, carefully wiping off the rest of the mess with her fingers and sticking them in her mouth. She didn't miss the way his expression changed as he watched her do it.

     "My idea didn't really involve my face, but I think I can appreciate your improvisation," he said, giving Bethany a smack on the butt. "Up."

     "Oh, yes sir," Bethany said sarcastically, giving him a look as she used his shoulders to push herself back up to her feet. She offered him her hand and helped him to stand, doing her best not to crumble under his challenging gaze.

     "Don't call me that unless you're planning to continue for the rest of the evening," he warned, giving her a little push in the direction of the bedroom.

     "You never did tell me whether or not that's a thing for you," Bethany said, walking backwards through the door so she could keep looking up at him.

     "Would it surprise you to know I don't really have 'things'?" Ville asked, taking the can from her hand and putting it on the bedside table. Bethany stared at him straight faced and pointed at it, making him snort. "That's just for fun, it's not a thing."

     "Aww, come on," Bethany teased, putting her arms around his neck. "You must have at least one. Everyone does."

     "Everyone, huh?" Ville said, quirking a brow as he started to lift up the hem of Bethany's sweater. "You included?"

     "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," Bethany offered, raising her arms so Ville could get her sweater all the way off. He laughed quietly and leaned down to kiss her.

     "I suppose I do have one," he said, his words slightly muffled as his kisses traveled lower over Bethany's collarbone. His hands moved smoothly up her back where his fingers deftly undid the hooks of the bra. He slid the straps over her shoulders and pulled it all the way off, tossing it to the floor with her sweater.

     "Do tell," Bethany said softly, her voice going breathy as Ville dropped completely to his knees in front of her and pressed a long kiss to her stomach, gazing up at her adoringly with those damned eyes of his.

     "You," he said quietly. "Just you."

     "Jesus Christ," Bethany whispered, covering her face with her hands in an attempt to hide the way her cheeks were turning scarlet. It should be illegal for him to say things like that.

     "Is that yours?" Ville snickered, hooking his fingers into the front of Bethany's jeans. "I suppose that would make sense. I've been told more than once that I have a god complex."

     "I can't imagine why anyone would say such a thing," Bethany said dryly, peeking down at him through her fingers. He grinned and shrugged in response, unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans before slowly pulling them down her legs.

     "So... If you're not actually hot for the Messiah, what is it then?"

     "You don't get to know since you gave me a cop-out answer," Bethany said, sticking her tongue out at him as she kicked her jeans away and fell backwards onto the bed with her feet dangling over the side. She folded her arms behind her head and closed her eyes. "It was a very romantic cop-out answer, but still."

     "Oh, stop being difficult," Ville scolded, getting onto the bed and straddling Bethany's hips. She opened her eyes and grinned when she saw that he'd taken his shirt off. "Fine, I'll give you a real one. Glasses. I have a thing for ladies wearing glasses."

     "Curse my 20/20 vision, then," Bethany said, reaching out to run her hands over his stomach. She loved the way his muscles tensed beneath her fingers. "I could always get a cheap pair of reading glasses..."

     "I wouldn't complain," Ville said, sighing quietly as Bethany traced the bits of his tattoo that peeked over the top of his jeans. "Now try to get out of telling me yours, I dare you."

     "What'll happen if I do?" Bethany asked innocently, cackling when Ville raised his eyebrows at her yet again. When he continued to look at her expectantly, she blushed and let her eyes fall to his right hand where it rested on his thigh. Rather than speaking, she grabbed it and pulled him down closer to her before carefully placing it over her throat. She watched as his mouth dropped open slightly in understanding, a tiny moan escaping her lips when he tightened his grip a little.

     "Well, that's a surprise," he said, kissing her softly as he brushed his thumb lightly up and down the side of her neck. "I can work with that."

     "Please do," Bethany laughed breathlessly, squeezing her thighs together tightly underneath him as she pressed his hand more firmly against her throat, showing him the amount of pressure she liked. It wasn't something she'd told many partners as it tended to freak people out. She'd be lying if she said it didn't thrill her immensely that Ville appeared to be game. He definitely had perfect hands for it.

     "Anything else?" Ville asked slyly, moving his hand so he could go back to kissing Bethany's neck. "You know I aim to please."

     "I'll get back to you," Bethany said, closing her eyes again when she felt Ville's teeth nip at her pulse. She held the back of his head with one hand while she slipped the other in between them to undo the button of his jeans. As she expected, he grabbed her hand and pulled it away, pinning it down beside her head.

     "Nice try," he chuckled. "No distracting me, I'm still on a mission."

     Bethany huffed as Ville pulled out of her arms and leaned over to the bedside table to grab the whipped cream. He grinned down at her as he shook the can, his free hand sliding slowly from her hip and over her ribs to gently cup her breast. Before Bethany could protest any further, he turned the can over and drew a long line all the way up her stomach to the base of her throat, making her squeak at the cold, ticklish feeling.

     "This is so duuuumb," she whined. "Nobody actually does this."

     "I'm doing it," Ville said, moving to put his feet back on the floor and leaning over her with his hands on the mattress at her sides. "So hush."

     Bethany watched as he bent lower and touched his tongue to her skin just above her bellybutton, all of her complaints suddenly going out the window as he locked eyes with her and slowly licked away the sugary cream. He made slow work of it, being very thorough just as he'd promised. Bethany mewled softly as he sucked at the sensitive skin between her breasts, reaching out to squeeze his arms as he finally reached the hollow of her throat.

     "Still think it's dumb?" Ville whispered, sounding smug. Bethany laughed softly and pulled him up for a long, deep kiss, tasting the lingering sweetness on his tongue.

     "I don't know," she said, catching his bottom lip briefly between her teeth. "I might need more convincing."

     "Uh-huh," Ville chuckled, picking up the whipped cream again. This time he put just a little directly onto each of Bethany's nipples, making her giggle and hide her face in her hands.

     Instead of trying to talk her out of her shyness, Ville immediately lowered his head and swirled his tongue around her right nipple, teasing it to hardness before sucking gently. Bethany gasped and arched her back, her entire body shivering at the sensation. Sometimes she wondered just what the hell it was about Ville that always got such an intense reaction out of her. It seemed as if everything he did felt twice as good as it had any right to.

     Just as she was entertaining that particular thought, Ville slipped his hand into the front of her panties and slid his middle finger through the center of her pussy, pulling a desperate whine from her throat. Bethany spread her legs for him to give him more access, moaning in earnest when he pressed two fingers into her. Her hands fell from her face to clutch at Ville's shoulders instead as she lifted her hips up against his hand.

     "Jesus Christ," Bethany gasped, her entire body jolting as Ville coordinated a light scrape of his teeth against her nipple with a slow curl of his fingers deep inside of her. He pulled back from her breast and snickered, shaking his head.

     "There you go again, invoking the Lord," he teased, moving up to kiss her lips. "I'm starting to think you lied to me."

     "Would you shut up?" Bethany groaned, half in pleasure and half in annoyance. It only made Ville laugh again as he ducked his head down and caught her other nipple between his lips, his tongue darting out on the way to catch the whipped cream that had started to melt from the heat of her skin. Apparently he was happy to shut up when there were better things for his mouth to do.

     Bethany's fingers made their way from Ville's shoulders up into his hair where she scratched desperately at his scalp as she silently lamented his decision to get that stupid haircut. All she wanted was to hold onto something as Ville's unoccupied hand tugged her underwear down off her hips to give his other hand more room to move. She cried out indignantly when he pulled his fingers out of her, only to quickly swallow her disappointment when they began to circle over her clit instead. Between that and the sucking kisses he was pressing to her nipple over and over, Bethany realized she was a lot closer than she'd thought.

     "Fuck, baby..." she breathed, dragging her nails down the back of his neck. "Don't stop, please, I'm so fucking close."

     "Yeah?" Ville murmured, shifting to put one knee on the bed and kissing her hard.

     This served as an excellent distraction, as Bethany didn't even see his hand move from where it had been holding him up before to wrap around her throat, squeezing just enough to make her gasp in surprise. The feeling of his fingers on her neck made her entire body tremble and suddenly she was coming apart, her nerves going electric as she bucked her hips up against his other hand. She moaned loudly into his mouth, her nails digging hard into his neck and shoulder as her ears began to ring.

     Ville's hand eased up on Bethany's throat as she began to relax, her legs shaking hard where she'd pulled them up completely onto the bed without even realizing it. His kisses became gentler and shorter as he took his hand from between her legs, moving to lie down next to her on the bed.

     "Are you alright?" he asked softly, touching her cheek and turning her head to look at him. Bethany finally opened her eyes and smiled at the way he was looking at her, equal parts awe and concern. She nodded and kissed him again, holding his face in both of her hands.

     "Fucking stellar," she said, making a face at how hoarse her voice sounded. Ville heard it too and the concern suddenly seemed to override anything else in his expression.

     "Was I too rough?" he asked, gently touching Bethany's neck. "I'm so sorry, I've only done that like twice in my life and-"

     "You were fine!" Bethany assured him quickly, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles. "You were perfect. That's what I wanted, I'm fine. You're fine. Everything is fine."

     "Okay," Ville laughed softly, kissing her forehead . His nervous laughter turned into a moan as Bethany reached down and pressed her palm to the front of his jeans, rubbing him through the material for a moment before finally finishing with getting the fly undone.

     "Done denying yourself your own fun now?" she asked, pushing Ville's jeans lower on his hips. He snorted, getting up off the bed and getting the offending clothing the rest of the way off.

     "You get yours first," he said, motioning for Bethany to move back onto the pillows. "Always."

     "Such a gentleman," Bethany cooed, making an exaggerated grabby hands motion at him. He rolled his eyes and got back onto the bed, situating himself between her legs and resting his forehead against hers.

     "I love you," he said quietly, reaching up to brush a few strands of hair out of her eyes. "So much."

     "I love you, too," Bethany whispered, pulling him down completely on top of her and kissing him tenderly.

     Just as he let her tongue slip past his lips, Ville rolled his hips forward and entered her smoothly, pulling a satisfied groan from both of them. It hardly mattered that this had been basically a daily occurrence since Bethany had arrived in Finland - every time felt better than the last. Bethany thought she might be addicted to the way it felt to have Ville inside of her, holding onto her for dear life as he made love to her. His quiet moans in her ear were the best sounds she'd ever heard, and he was blessing her with plenty of them.

     Bethany shifted her legs up higher on Ville's hips, gasping as the change in angle allowed him to thrust into her more deeply. He picked up speed then, one hand wrapping around the back of her knee to lift her leg up even more while the other grasped at the sheets by her shoulder. Bethany wrapped her other leg tightly around his hips, raising her own up to meet him as he drove into her, every inch of her body buzzing with pleasure. He was at the point where he stopped thinking so damned much and was just letting himself chase what he wanted, and Bethany was more than happy to give it to him.

     "Fuck, Beth," Ville gasped, his fingers squeezing her thigh hard enough to bruise. He looked down at her with heavy lidded eyes and shook his head. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

     "Some," Bethany said, lightly scratching her nails down his chest before circling her thumbs slowly over his nipples, delighting in the way his hips jerked in response. "I could always go for a demonstration, though."

     Ville laughed breathlessly and dropped his forehead back to hers, taking her left hand from his chest and lacing their fingers together against the pillows. Bethany placed her other hand against his cheek, feeling her heartbeat quicken as she looked up into his eyes.

     "Go on, baby," she whispered. "I wanna see you."

     Those were the magic words. Ville's eyes fell closed and he let out a long, blissed out moan, his voice cracking endearingly near the end as the rocking of his hips stuttered and slowed, his hold on Bethany's hand and tightening for a long moment before relaxing as he all but collapsed on top of her in exhaustion.

     They stayed right where they were for a long time, content to be tangled up together as Ville caught his breath. Bethany gently rubbed her foot against his calf, taking private pleasure in the way she could feel his legs shaking for once. She hadn't exactly done much, but she took it as a compliment anyway.

     "I don't deserve you," Ville mumbled tiredly, finally lifting his head from Bethany's chest and giving her a slightly dazed smile. Bethany grinned and shook her head, gently kissing the tip of his nose.

     "I think I'm the one who's supposed to be saying that," she said ruffling his hair.

     "Nope, me," Ville said, nodding affirmatively to himself before slowly pushing himself up so he could roll over onto his back. He blew out a long breath and closed his eyes, obviously on the verge of falling asleep.

     "You can't pass out yet!" Bethany said, giving him a shake. "There's cake downstairs."

     "Breakfast," Ville muttered, waving a dismissive hand. "Breakfast cake now."

     "You're adorable," Bethany said, sitting up and looking down at him fondly. He still didn't open his eyes.

     "Mmm, thanks," he said, reaching out to pat her knee clumsily.

     "You're really going to sleep?"

     "Really going to sleep, yes."

     "Fiiiine," Bethany said, getting up and tugging the blankets out from underneath Ville so she could throw them over him instead. She leaned down and kissed him softly. "I'm going to go get cleaned up, then I'll be right back, okay?"

     "Mmkay. Hurry up."

     She didn't even make it to the bathroom door before she heard him snoring. Precious bastard.

Chapter Text

     It started late in the evening three days before Bethany was supposed to leave to go back home. She and Ville were sitting together in the living room having an 80's horror movie marathon when she noticed him tapping a rhythm on her arm with his fingertips. She glanced over at him, thinking he was trying to get her attention, only to find him staring at the wall with a look of concentration on his face.

     Uh-oh.

     "Are you doing what I think you're doing?" she whispered, almost afraid to interrupt him.

     "Shhh," Ville said, though he nodded his head in response to her question. He continued as he had been for a few more minutes before he snapped his fingers as if arriving at some grand conclusion. He leaned over and kissed her cheek then untangled himself from both her embrace and the blankets with an almost frantic energy.

     "I take it I'm losing you for a bit," Bethany said, more amused than annoyed.

     "Sorry," Ville said, sounding truly apologetic as he bounced anxiously on the balls of his feet. "Can't say I didn't warn you. You go on upstairs and get some sleep, I'm going to be downstairs for... a bit, yeah."

     "Alright," Bethany giggled, pulling him down for a goodnight kiss. "I love you."

     "I love you too, darling."

***

     By the time Bethany woke up in the morning, Ville was still nowhere to be seen and his side of the bed was cold and obviously untouched. She wasn't sure if she should go check on him or not, so she sat quietly for a moment, straining her ears to hear something in the quiet house. After a time, the faint sound of a guitar floated up the stairs, and she snorted quietly.

     At least he's still conscious down there, she thought, getting out of bed and heading downstairs. The sound of music was louder now, though still muffled by the basement door. Bethany peeked around the corner to look at the little light up sign that hung above the door, meant to communicate whether or not Ville was recording so no one barged in and messed things up. It was dark, so she took that as her cue to make a pot of coffee and attempt to bring him some, if only as a reminder that she was, in fact, still there.

     With two mugs in hand, Bethany silently opened the basement door and tiptoed down the stairs, taking the momentary silence as a sign that it wasn't a terrible time to make an appearance. When she reached the bottom, she found Ville crouched down in a corner near some equipment that was very mysterious to her, looking rather like a mad scientist with a pen held between his teeth as he fiddled with a mess of wires. There was a notebook next to him with numbers and indecipherable scribbles dotting the pages. Time for the technical stuff, then.

     "Morning," Bethany said quietly, leaning against a support beam. Ville, as usual, didn't jump at the sound of her voice. He glanced over his shoulder at her and grinned.

     "I was wondering how long you were going to stand there debating whether or not I was safe to approach," he teased. He sounded tired but appeared to be in a good mood.

     "I've never seen you in work mode before," Bethany said, coming closer and handing him his coffee, which he took gratefully. "How was I supposed to know whether I'd get Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde?"

     "I'm not throwing things, am I?" Ville said, gesturing around the room which, while chaotic and littered with crumpled pieces of paper and several guitars, didn't look any worse for wear. "That's usually the first indication."

     "I'll make a note of that," Bethany said dryly, taking a sip of her coffee. "It's going well, then?"

     "I'll thank you to knock on a desk or something, but yes," Ville said, moving to sit down on the couch. He rubbed at his eyes sleepily and looked around, chuckling to himself as if he'd just seen the aftermath of his creativity tornado for the first time. Bethany smiled and rapped her knuckles against the wooden beam behind her before taking a seat beside him and resting her head on his shoulder.

     "You picked a hell of a time to get inspired," she said softly, taking his hand where it rested on his knee and lacing their fingers together. "I leave in a couple days."

     "I know," Ville sighed, tilting his head back against the wall. "I am really sorry. I'd tell you I'm all yours for the rest of the weekend, but..."

     "I get it," Bethany said, turning her head and kissing his stubbly jaw. "I promise I do. I'm just teasing." Ville made a disgruntled noise and  closed his eyes.

     "I wish you'd stay longer," he said ruefully. "Both because I don't want you to go, and because I'm afraid you'll take this little burst of creativity with you."

     "I would if I could," Bethany said, rubbing her thumb soothingly against his. "You'll be fine, don't worry."

     "Here's to hoping," Ville said, lifting his mug briefly into the air before bringing it to his lips. "I'll try to snap myself out of it long enough to spend time with you before you leave, I promise."

     "You've spent almost two full weeks doing nothing but giving me attention," Bethany laughed, shaking her head. "Don't worry about it. I can find things to do. Maybe I'll clean the house a little bit. We've kind of trashed the place."

     "Our definitions of 'trashed' are clearly very different," Ville snorted. "You can still see the floors. That's basically spotless in my book."

     "What did it look like before you panic cleaned knowing I was coming?" Bethany asked, raising an eyebrow.

     "I didn't have to panic clean!" Ville said defensively. He took another drink and over the rim of his mug he continued, "...mostly because I hadn't actually lived here for the better part of a year."

     "As I suspected," Bethany laughed, poking him gently in the ribs.

     "I'm not a total slob," Ville said, rolling his eyes. "Not anymore, anyway. You do not need to clean my house, you're not my maid."

     "Fine, I'll just clean my half of the mess," Bethany said, giving Ville's hand a squeeze before letting it go and getting up off the couch. She leaned down and gave him a long kiss. "And maybe do both of our laundry. Are you particular about color sorting?"

     "Bethany. All my clothes are black."

     "Right, stupid question," Bethany said. "I'm going to go get started. Maybe you should try to go to bed at some point? Just a suggestion."

     "Sleep is for the weak," Ville said matter-of-factly, pushing himself to his feet and making a shooing motion toward the stairs. "Alright, off you go. Leave me to my madness. I'll see you when I see you."

     "I love you, too," Bethany scoffed. Ville made a face at her and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her close for another kiss.

     "I love you," he said, cupping her cheek in his hand. "Never doubt it for a second. Now get out."

     Bethany rolled her eyes good-naturedly and headed for the stairs. When she reached the foot of them, Ville sighed dramatically behind her, making her look back at him.

     "Oh, don't mind me," he said, fighting back a smile. "I just like watching you walk away."

     Bethany groaned and quickly turned around to hide her own giggles as Ville burst into laughter, hurrying back up the stairs before he could harass her further. She gently closed the basement door behind her and wandered into the kitchen as she downed the rest of her coffee. At first glance, the room didn't look too bad, but there were definitely crumbs on the floor and splatters on the stovetop, as well as a fairly impressive stack of dishes in the sink.

     As good a place to start as any, Bethany thought, setting off to find a broom.

***

     Bethany let out a long, tired sigh as she dropped the last folded T-shirt into the laundry basket in front of her and fell back against the couch cushions. It wasn't as if there had been a lot of laundry to do, but she'd left that particular chore for last after tidying up the rooms she and Ville had spent the most time in lately and she was officially ready to tap out.

     A quick glance at the clock informed her that it was just after three in the afternoon. She'd gone downstairs a little after one when she'd noticed it had been quiet a while, only to discover Ville fast asleep on the couch with a guitar still in his hands. She'd decided against waking him and instead moved the guitar to a less precarious location and covered him with a blanket before setting up camp in the living room to fold clothes. She still didn't hear any sound coming from downstairs, so she assumed Ville hadn't woken up yet.

     Bethany carried one basket up the stairs to the bedroom and began working on figuring out where Ville kept things, which seemed to be a pointless endeavor; there didn't appear to be any rhyme or reason to which types of clothing lived in which drawers, so she defaulted to her own organization habits. He'd figure it out.

     One thing she did know was that Ville kept his impressive collection of hoodies (which were inexplicably mostly all copies of one from his dad's shop) in his closet. She opened it and spotted a stack of empty hangers on the top shelf, just barely within her reach. She stood on her tip toes and managed to touch them, sliding them closer to the edge until she could pull them down. Unfortunately they caught the edge of a black Converse box, which came tumbling down to the floor.

     "Goddammit," Bethany muttered, looking down to find that the lid had popped off, the contents of the box scattered across the closet floor. It had been full of photographs, and she sincerely hoped those had been just as unorganized as the rest of the things Ville had stored away.

     Setting the hangers aside, Bethany knelt down to start scooping the pictures up off the floor, only to pause when she caught sight of some familiar faces. Flipping through the old polaroids and Kodak prints, she realized that they were old pictures of Ville and his ex-girlfriends. All of them, it seemed. It wasn't necessarily surprising; he was an incredibly sentimental sort of person. It made sense that he held onto the photos rather than throwing them away. Still, the sight of them made Bethany feel a whole host of emotions she wasn't totally able to identify. It wasn't jealousy, or at least she didn't think it was. Why would it be? These were pieces of the past, they had nothing to do with the present. What reason did she have to care about them?

     Just as Bethany was starting to feel what she was certain was guilt for going through Ville's private things, a pair of feet belonging to the man himself appeared in her line of sight and almost made her jump out of her skin.

     "Holy FUCK!" she gasped, dropping the pictures she'd had halfway back in the box. She clutched at her chest and looked up at him. "Where did you come from?"

     "I do believe you've met the woman," Ville said casually, putting down the basket of clothes he'd been holding and sitting down on the floor next to Bethany. "I woke up and came upstairs looking for you. Found the laundry so I thought I'd come help. Find anything interesting?"

     "Uhh..." Bethany trailed off, looking over at him meekly. He didn't appear to be upset, his expression one of amusement more than anything else. "I wasn't snooping, I swear. The box fell and-"

     "I wouldn't care even if you were snooping," Ville said, grabbing the shoebox and giving it a shake so that the pictures slid and settled to one side. He grabbed a handful of photos from the floor and dropped them in with the others, not even sparing a glance at them. "I kinda forgot these were even up there, to be honest with you."

     "Did you keep them all?" Bethany asked, chewing her bottom lip. "Like, every picture from every relationship?"

     "Some got the dramatic fireplace treatment," Ville snorted, tossing the last few pictures into the box and replacing the lid. "You know, ones taken on nights that went south, that kind of thing. But for the most part, yes. I kept them all. There are even a few in there from high school."

     "Seriously?" Bethany asked, smiling despite herself. "Okay, show me those. I need to see baby Ville."

     "Didn't my mother show you enough of baby Ville?" he grumbled, though he did open the box again, sighing as he began rifling through the pictures.

     "Yeah, actual baby Ville," Bethany grinned. "Let me see your awkward teenager phase."

     "Here," Ville said, passing over a slightly discolored polaroid. Bethany grabbed it eagerly and giggled as she took in the sight of the tall, gangly teenage boy in a very interesting blue sweater standing in front of some kind of theme park ride with a pretty girl with curly red hair. He was looking adoringly at her instead of the camera, and she was in the middle of a laughing fit so intense that her eyes were almost completely shut. It was possibly one of the cutest things Bethany had ever seen.

     "This is precious," she said, nudging Ville's arm with her elbow. "What was her name?"

     "Eevi," Ville said, smiling a little. "We were about sixteen there. Believe it or not, I still see her around sometimes. She avoids me like the plague. I have no idea why, it's not like we broke up on bad terms or anything. Maybe she's intimidated now? Sort of sucks, I wouldn't mind talking to her just to catch up."

     "Aww," Bethany said, patting his knee sympathetically. "I'm sorry. You guys look like you were having fun here, at least."

     "Sure, until about fifteen minutes later after we rode that deathtrap behind us," Ville snickered. "Ask my dad about the Great Puke Disaster of '93 sometime. He loves that story."

     "Oh god," Bethany said, grimacing.

     "There was no God that day," Ville said solemnly, plucking the picture from Bethany's fingers and dropping it back into the box. "Anyway... That sort of thing is why I keep the pictures. I'm not still pining for anybody, I just like remembering things sometimes. Okay?"

     "You don't have to explain yourself to me," Bethany said, looking awkwardly at the floor. "I know those weren't for me to see."

     "I just want you to know," Ville said gently, pressing a kiss to her temple and putting his arm around her. "I'm right where I want to be."

     "I know," Bethany said, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. "So... Get a bunch of work done?"

     "Some," Ville yawned, resting his head heavily on top of hers. "I have no idea where it's going, but things exist now that didn't before. That's a start."

     "Can I hear it?" Bethany asked hopefully. Ville chuckled softly and gave her shoulder a squeeze.

     "Not yet."

     "Ohh, why not?" Bethany whined, pulling away to pout at him.

     "What happened to 'oh no, don't write songs about me, I don't need songs!'?" Ville asked, putting on a high, squeaky voice. Bethany gaped at him, mildly affronted.

     "I do not sound like that!" she said indignantly, pinching his upper arm.

     "Do too," Ville laughed, batting her hand away.

     "Do not!"

     "You do right now!"

     "So not only will you not play songs for me, now you're making fun of me too," Bethany said, pretending to sniffle. "I thought you loved me."

     "I do," Ville said pulling her into his lap. "I only torment people I love. I thought I made that obvious."

     "You're the worst," Bethany said, dramatically going limp in his arms. "Come on, just a little bit of a song? Please?"

     "If I actually get it finished before you leave, maybe," Ville said reluctantly. "It's not fit for anyone's ears right this second."

     "It's a wonder you ever let anyone hear anything you make at all," Bethany said, raising an eyebrow at him.

     "I'll be happy with it eventually," Ville shrugged. "I just have to agonize over it for hours and hours and poke it with a stick for a while."

     "Better get on it then," Bethany laughed, pulling out of his arms and getting back to her feet. "I'll finish putting stuff away and make something for dinner, you go work on the song I totally didn't want."

     "Well now I feel like you're trying to get rid of me," Ville said, crossing his arms over his chest and lifting his chin defiantly at her.

     "Maybe I just want to snoop through more of your stuff," Bethany teased, starting to put hoodies on hangers as she'd originally intended.

     "Porn's in the box under the bookshelf," Ville said helpfully, getting to his feet and giving Bethany a swat on the butt as he passed on his way to the bedroom door.

     "Gee, thanks," Bethany said, wrinkling her nose.

     Ville's goofy, hiccupping laugh echoed in the hallway as he disappeared again, making Bethany's heart warm even as she shook her head in exasperation. She glanced in the direction of the bookshelf, spotting the aforementioned box that was slid underneath. It was a comically fancy-looking thing made of engraved silver with a lock on the front and everything. Bethany chose to pass on that; as much as she loved him, she didn't think she needed to know him that well.

Chapter Text

     It was early in the afternoon on Bethany's last day in Finland. She was in the middle of packing her suitcases (she now had two - Ville had given her one of his spares since she'd collected a number of souvenirs, mostly by his doing), trying to focus on the task more than how upset she was that she had to go home. She wasn't looking forward to dealing with the many cans of worms that awaited her in Pennsylvania, and she definitely wasn't looking forward to being separated from Ville again. He was being more vocal about his displeasure with the situation.

     "What if I personally call your boss and ask very nicely for an extension to your vacation?"

     "I don't think that would work."

     "What if I call in a bomb threat to the airport?"

     "Ville!"

     "What if I buy you a pony? I have connections for that!"

     Bethany dropped her head into her hands, mostly to hide the fact that she was smiling. "Where would you even keep a pony?"

     "It could live downstairs in the studio," Ville said thoughtfully. "I could open the big garage doors so it could go outside. I'd make it my mascot."

     "And when you catch it munching on your rare, priceless vinyls..?" Bethany said, looking up at him from her spot on the floor.

     "Oh, Shmooples would never do that," Ville said, rolling onto his stomach on the bed and peeking over the edge at her.

     "You've named the nonexistent pony?" Bethany asked, moving to sit on her suitcase so she could zip it up.

     "If I name it then I have to get it," Ville attempted to reason. "And if I get it, you have to stay. So, yes, the pony is named Shmooples."

     "I really don't understand you sometimes," Bethany said, drawing her knees up and resting her chin on them.

     "It's part of my charm," Ville grinned. It only lasted for a moment before fading, his expression turning pensive and morose as if a cloud had passed overhead. He reached out a hand to her, which Bethany took in her own as she gave him a smile that she hoped was reassuring.

     "Stop moping," she said, squeezing his fingers. "We'll see each other again soon. Get in the zone making this mysterious new music of yours and it'll be summer before you know it."

     "I guess," Ville huffed, smushing his face into the mattress and sighing heavily. He tugged at Bethany's hand, making her get up and join him on the bed. When she sat down, he rolled onto his back and looked up at her sadly. "Sorry I didn't get the song done before you had to leave."

     "I forgive you," Bethany laughed, gently running her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and hummed quietly. "Better have something to show me when you come see me, though. Otherwise I'll assume you've lost your touch."

     "Can't have that," Ville said, taking her hand from his head and kissing her fingertips before placing it on his cheek instead. "What time is it?"

     "Almost one," Bethany sighed. "The taxi will be here soon."

     "Yeah," Ville said dejectedly, sitting up and moving to put his feet on the floor. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, glancing around the room one more time. "Did you get all your stuff?"

     "I think so," Bethany said, nudging her luggage with her foot. "If I didn't, that's too bad. I don't think I could jam anything else in these bags if I tried."

     "Hope you have room in your carry-on, then," Ville said, getting up and crossing the room to the bookshelf. He cast around for a minute before grabbing two books, bringing them back and holding them out to Bethany. The first was her own, the one she'd let him borrow when he'd been in Pennsylvania. The other was a pretty battered collection of poems by Edgar Allan Poe. "Told you you had to borrow one of mine."

     "Sir, I'm shocked that you think I've never read Poe before," Bethany teased, though she took both books from him all the same. "I thought I was supposed to pick a book to borrow."

     "You've never read that particular copy," Ville said, his eyes sparkling mischievously. "Just trust me. Don't open it until you're on the plane."

     "Okay," Bethany said, eyeing him suspiciously. She glanced down at her own book and held it up to him. "What did you think? I never did ask."

     "It was cute," he said, laughing when Bethany made a face at his word choice. "What? It's a YA novel, of course it's cute. But it was very touching, too. The main character reminded me a lot of you. I can see why it's your favorite."

     "Yeah," Bethany said, hugging both books to her chest. "It helped a lot, when things were bad. Just reading about somebody who went through something awful ending up happy, you know?"

     "I can imagine," Ville said, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. "Come on, let's get this stuff downstairs."

     "Are you still sure you want to come with me to the airport?" Bethany asked, standing up and grabbing the smaller suitcase as Ville picked up the larger one. "You know, after last time?"

     "The cat's out of the bag anyway," Ville said with a shrug as they left the bedroom and headed down the hallway. "Like I said before, nosy photographers will probably keep their distance, especially with how miserable I'm going to be looking. We might attract a fan or two, but they're not going to cause an issue. I'm not worried about it."

     "Don't look too miserable," Bethany said, following him down the stairs. "Then everyone will think we're fighting or something."

     "Some lunatic would think that even if we were both all smiles and farting rainbows," Ville snorted, putting Bethany's suitcase down next to the door in the entryway and beginning to pull on his boots. "People see whatever they want to see."

     "Weird that people want to see you unhappy," Bethany muttered, sitting down on the stairs to put on her own shoes.

     "As far as they're concerned, of course I must be unhappy," Ville said, putting on his coat and grabbing Bethany's off the hook. "I'm not with them. Silly goose, don't you see how this works?"

     "It's stupid," Bethany said, standing up and reaching for her jacket. Ville shook his head and held it open for her, helping her put it on instead before hugging her from behind.

     "It is," he agreed, kissing her cheek. "But as long as they're being stupid far, far away from me, I don't care. I am happy, and anyone who doesn't like it can locate a short pier and take a long walk off of it."

     "Well put," Bethany snickered, leaning back into Ville's embrace and closing her eyes.

     They stood like that for a while, taking in their last quiet, private moment together before they heard the crunch of tires on gravel outside.  Ville's phone dinged a moment later, officially announcing the taxi's arrival.

     "Your carriage awaits, my lady," Ville said quietly, tightening his arms around her briefly before letting her go.

     Bethany nodded silently and grabbed her backpack and suitcase, watching as Ville unlocked the front door and stepped outside. She followed close behind, choosing not to glance back into the house before Ville closed the door behind her for fear that she might not be able to resist the urge to stay.

     I'll be back, she thought. I'll be back.

***

     The airport was packed and buzzing with activity when they arrived. Bethany was both grateful because at least they'd probably be lost in the crowd and avoid notice and annoyed because the last thing she felt like putting up with was being jostled around in a throng of people. She felt like everything was too loud and too bright after the past two weeks of relative calm and peace she'd been enjoying. Ville seemed to be able to tell she was agitated and stayed close to her, keeping a steadying arm around her shoulders as they made their way to the security line.

     "I'll stay with you until I can't anymore," he assured her, resting his chin on top of her head. "You're gonna be okay."

     "I don't want to go," Bethany said, feeling her throat getting tight. "I have to, so please don't tell me I can stay. But I really don't want to go."

     "I know," Ville said gently. "I don't want you to go, either. You know that, though."

     "Can you come with me?" Bethany laughed weakly, only half joking. Ville chuckled, squeezing her tightly against his side.

     "I could go grab a ticket," he said, sounding as if he was actually considering it. "There's still time."

     "Ohh, don't go along with my crappy ideas," Bethany groaned, moving in front of him and burying her face in the front of his jacket. "You don't even have anything with you."

     "I've boarded a plane with less than this before," Ville said, bringing one hand up to hold the back of her head. "I could buy a whole new wardrobe to keep at your place. I'd even let you pick some of it."

     "You need to stop," Bethany said, smiling up at him sadly. "You can't give me everything I want all the time. I'd be spoiled."

     "So?" Ville said, stepping forward and making Bethany walk backward as the line continued to move. "I accept responsibility for the monster I'm creating."

     "Until I start making outrageous demands," Bethany giggled.

     "You don't even make demands for the things you should," Ville pointed out. "I'm not terribly worried."

     Bethany rolled her eyes and glanced over her shoulder, her heart jolting painfully when she saw that she was next in line. Ville's arms tightened around her and he kissed the top of her head.

     "Last chance," he said quietly. Bethany sighed and reached up to take his face in her hands, pulling him down for one last long kiss.

     "You have to stay, and I have to go," she said, sounding more confident than she really felt. "Thank you for everything, seriously. These were the best two weeks of my life."

     "You can come back anytime you want," Ville said, covering her hands with his own. "Say the word and you're here."

     "Dangerous offer," Bethany chuckled.

     "And a genuine one all the same," Ville shrugged. "I love you."

     "I love you too," Bethany whispered, feeling herself getting choked up. "So fucking much."

     "Go on," Ville said, his own voice sounding a bit shakier than normal. "Call me when you can, okay?"

     "I will," Bethany said, reluctantly pulling out of Ville's arms. She watched as he sidestepped out of line and gave her a wave before nodding her head and quickly turning around, digging her passport out of her bag and taking a steadying breath before approaching the security booth. Until next time.

***

     Once Bethany had gotten settled in her almost too comfortable first class seat and had mostly managed to stop sniffling, she picked up her backpack and pulled out the Poe collection Ville had given her.

     It was a paperback, likely used before Ville had even bought it. The cover was scratched and faded, and the bottom corner was messily taped back on where it had been ripped off at some point. The edges of the pages were yellowed and warped from water damage (Bethany suspected that was Ville's fault with his bathtub reading habits) and the paper smelled faintly of cigarette smoke (also probably his fault).

     Bethany opened the book to discover the first blank page was anything but blank. She recognized Ville's messy scrawl in several different colors, including one smudgy scribble in glittery purple gel ink. The words were clearly lyrics, jotted down as they popped into his head, some of them familiar while others had never seen the light of day beyond that sheet of paper. A few were scratched out with notes of "CHEESY IN THE BAD WAY" or simply "AWFUL!!!" written nearby, which made Bethany giggle.

     She continued to flip through the pages, finding Ville all over the margins. Lots of poetic rambling, even more tiny drawings, some of which were illustrations of the actual stories and poems contained in the book while others were little caricatures (often rude) of his bandmates or other people involved in whatever tour he'd been on at the time. Sometimes the words weren't lyrics or poetry at all, more like short diary entries with dates. One in particular caught her eye midway through the book.

     8th August, 2007. Lots of people in love and happy everywhere I look. That's nice. I wonder if I've ever actually felt that. Too tired to try again. I'll just keep hoping I feel better someday.

     Just as Bethany's heart was breaking, she spotted another note slightly beneath that one, this one much fresher, obviously new.

     20th January, 2024. Everything feels better today. Everything is perfect. Life's funny, isn't it?

     Underneath the words was a tiny heart with the letter B written inside of it. Bethany felt tears prick at her eyes again. At least this time they were happy ones. She closed the book and hugged it to her chest, looking out the window as the plane began to lift off the ground. She might have been leaving a piece of her heart in Helsinki, but she had a piece of Ville's held in her hands, and it was enough.

Chapter Text

     "Welcome home, beautiful!"

     Bethany smiled tiredly as she stepped into her apartment past Vera, who was holding the door open with a huge grin on her face.

     "Thanks Vee," she said, dropping her bags near the door and leaning heavily against the wall. Vera closed and locked the door and immediately dragged her in for a rib-breaking hug.

     "I missed you," she said, burying her face in Bethany's shoulder. "You smell like your boyfriend."

     "Can't imagine why," Bethany snorted, gently pushing Vera back so she could get her jacket off. It had been an extra long journey home with a layover and a flight delay in London, and all she wanted was to get a shower and collapse into bed. Vera had insisted on cooking her dinner with the groceries she'd so sweetly stocked Bethany's fridge with earlier in the day though, so sleep at least would have to wait.

     "Did you call him yet?" Vera asked, taking Bethany's coat and hanging it up on its hook.

     "I did," Bethany yawned, kicking off her shoes. "On the drive over here. He was exceedingly mopey. That should be good for his music, though. No clue how I'm going to channel my depression, but..."

     "Music?" Vera asked, her eyebrows nearly disappearing into her hairline. "He's working on music?"

     "Yes, but keep a lid on that," Bethany said, giving Vera a warning look. "He's... Things are complicated right now and he hasn't made any announcements, but he might be mostly retiring."

     "Jesus, you have a lot to fill me in on," Vera said, blinking in surprise. "And, excuse me, madam. 'Keep a lid on it', who the hell do you think I'm spilling secrets to?"

     "I know you're not," Bethany sighed, waving a dismissive hand. "It's just a delicate situation and I need you to be aware of that."

     "He's okay, right?" Vera asked, suddenly uncharacteristically serious. "He's not sick or something, is he?"

     "No!" Bethany exclaimed. "Gods, no. I would not be okay right now if that were the case. He's fine, he's just tired. Tour was rougher than he thought it would be. He may even change his mind, once he starts going stir crazy. For now though, that's kinda where his head is."

     "But he's still making music?" Vera persisted, following Bethany as she made her way to the bathroom. Bethany shot her a look but continued on anyway, turning on the shower as hot as she could get it before starting to get undressed. Nothing Vera hadn't seen before, anyway.

     "He is," she said, tossing her clothes into the hamper before taking off her few pieces of jewelry, including Ville's ring, and putting them in the little tray by the sink. "He'd probably explode if he stopped. He got struck by a bolt of inspiration a few days ago. I didn't see much of him after that."

     "Looks like you saw enough of him," Vera snickered, reaching out to poke a series of suspiciously finger-shaped bruises on Bethany's hip. Bethany scoffed and slapped her hand.

     "Out, you heinous bitch!"

     "I'm happy for yooooou!" Vera trilled as Bethany slammed the door in her face. She cackled all the way back down the hall, making Bethany grin despite herself.

     It's not so bad to be home, she thought, getting into the shower. The hot water felt amazing after over twenty-four hours on planes and in airports. She took her time, willing away her fatigue as she scrubbed off her makeup and washed her hair. The water was nearly cold by the time she got out, and she couldn't help but blush as she remembered the last time that had happened. It was a thrilling memory, but it made the lonely ache in her chest that much worse.

     Bethany quickly toweled off and slid Ville's ring back onto her thumb before darting across the hall to her bedroom to get dressed. She pulled on her comfiest sweatpants and a warm thermal shirt before sliding her feet into her slippers and heading back to the kitchen, drawn in by the delicious smell of whatever Vera was cooking.

     "Feel better?" Vera asked, glancing up from the pot she was stirring. She had her mane of hair tied back with a scrunchie that was threatening to snap and her sleeves rolled up, a rare sight. She hardly ever cooked for anyone, even though she was great at it. That Vera was putting in so much effort for her warmed Bethany's heart, almost enough to forgive the harassment about her sex life.

     "I'm a little less zombie-like for the moment," Bethany said, peeking into the pot. "Oooh, gumbo? I fucking love you."

     "Of course you do, kitten," Vera said, leaning in and kissing Bethany's cheek. "I made potato salad earlier too, it's in the fridge. Extra paprika, just how you like it."

     "Thanks, Vera," Bethany said, hugging her friend from behind and resting her chin on her shoulder. "Really, thank you. This beats the hell out of coming back to a cold, empty apartment."

     "I know," Vera said gently, putting a lid on the gumbo and resting her hands on Bethany's arms where they were wrapped around her waist. "Easing back into real life after two weeks of fairytale bliss is very important. Can't have you going into shock or anything."

     "Ugh," Bethany muttered, stepping back and hopping up to sit on an empty spot on the counter. "I cannot explain how tempting it was to just never come back. No offense to you or anything. It's just... everything else."

     "Still worried about your funerary life?" Vera asked, turning down the flame on the stove and turning to look at Bethany. "Didn't we discuss this?"

     "Discussing and putting things into motion are two different things," Bethany sighed. She fiddled anxiously with her sleeve, her brow furrowing in frustration. "The idea of looking authority figures in the eye and saying 'thanks for everything but see ya!' is... not appealing."

     "Oh, my love," Vera said, patting Bethany's knee. "You need to put your big girl pants on and do what's best for you. You don't o-"

     "Owe anyone anything," Bethany finished dully, giving Vera a wry smile. "Yes. I have been told."

     "Do we need to get the boy on the horn?" Vera asked, putting a hand on her hip. "We can give you a pep talk in stereo."

     "He's in no state to give pep talks right now," Bethany said, rolling her eyes good naturedly. "He's taking my leaving harder than I am."

     "Great, we'll get him on video call then," Vera said cheerfully. "Let him give you the big green puppy eyes. That would be perfect motivation."

     "It's a stupid idea," Bethany said, shaking her head. "Quitting everything is the most irresponsible thing I could possibly do, to say nothing of packing up and leaving for another continent. I can't risk all that, Vee."

     "You act like what you have now is the be all, end all," Vera said, raising an eyebrow. "You have worked at that funeral home since high school. The only other job you've ever had was that brief stint at Burger King before graduation. There are other things out there in this big ol' world, poptart. What are you scared of?"

     "Everything," Bethany said quietly. "I'm scared of everything changing. I'm scared of everything not working out. I'm scared of being left with nothing and having nowhere to go."

     "There is no way you would ever be left with nothing and nowhere to go," Vera said, taking Bethany's hands and squeezing them tightly. "Change is scary, but you've already let some big changes happen and you've been so much happier for it. It's not like you have to do everything all at once. Break it into baby steps. What's got you the most fed up and ready to throw in the towel?"

     "School," Bethany said, feeling her muscles tense just thinking about it. "If I walk back into that building I might actually disintegrate."

     "Okay," Vera said with a shrug. "Let it go, then. All you have to say is, 'thank you for the opportunity but this is no longer the right path for me and I need to leave the program'. Just like that. You're not the first one to do it, I promise you. It's not failure, it's life. It happens every day."

     "Yeah," Bethany said, chewing her lip. "Okay. I'll call this week sometime."

     "'Atta girl," Vera said, nodding approvingly. "There's your game plan, all set and ready to go. Now stop worrying about it and find me some bowls, we're about to eat like queens."

***

     After enjoying Vera's excellent cooking and cleaning up the kitchen, the two friends ended up curled up on Bethany's couch with mugs of hot chocolate, chatting about less stressful matters. Bethany had just finished recounting the one-night-only HIM reunion, and Vera's jaw was practically on the floor.

     "That's one hell of a birthday present," she said, shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe everyone in attendance has kept their mouths shut."

     "I think they're all very aware of the shit storm that would strike if they didn't," Bethany said, using her spoon to scoop up a melted marshmallow. She put it in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. "Either that or they all had to sign an NDA. Ville would neither confirm nor deny. A lot of people wanted them to get back together for real after that. Ville says it's extremely unlikely though. I guess things aren't all sparkles and butterflies between the guys."

     "That's hardly surprising," Vera said, snorting when Bethany gave her a questioning look. "Years of those dudes traveling and living together, especially with the attitude on yours? Yeah. I can see them being cool with remaining divorced. Couldn't have been all bad if they stuck it out that long, of course. It's just that all good things eventually have to come to an end and they knew the end when they saw it. That makes it all the sweeter that they did that show for you. They must all like you."

     "They seemed to," Bethany said, smiling fondly. "They're lovely. I'm glad I got to meet them."

     "This makes for an excellent segue into my next question," Vera said, wrapping her blanket more tightly around herself and leaning closer to Bethany in a conspiratorial sort of way. "Ville's retiring?"

     "From touring, at least," Bethany said, stifling a yawn. "Or so he said. He just wants to be home and feel normal. The solo tour took more out of him than he expected, and now he wants to be with his family and friends and stuff."

     "'And stuff', meaning you?" Vera smirked. Bethany sighed and nodded, feeling that weight of anxiety over the future creeping in again.

     "He wants me there," she said softly, running her finger around the rim of her mug. "He said it doesn't feel like home without the person he loves there with him. And I want to be there too, I really do. I didn't want to leave. At the same time, I don't want to leave here permanently either. My family and friends are here. My whole life has played out here. As beautiful and charming as Finland is, it's not home and I felt out of place a lot."

     "You'd get used to it with time," Vera reasoned. "It's the same moving anywhere. I felt weird as hell when I moved here from Louisiana, and now look at me. I don't even have the accent anymore. I'm one of you Yanks in all but origin."

     "At least you stayed in the same country," Bethany said. "Same language, same general culture... And you did it with your family. I would be alone."

     "You'd have Ville," Vera said, tilting her head. "He'd do anything he could to make you feel comfortable, you know that."

     "I think I'd still miss it here too much," Bethany admitted. "I don't know if I could do it."

     "Maybe you could split your time between countries," Vera suggested. "Half the year here, half the year there. Both of you, together."

     "Sounds expensive," Bethany said, wincing. "He's got money, but I don't think it's that kind of money. Not for a long term arrangement like that, anyway, especially if he stops touring."

     "You could still bring it up to him," Vera shrugged. "See what he says. You don't have to own property in both countries. You could just rent here when you need to."

     "Maybe," Bethany said, finishing her hot chocolate and putting the mug down on the coffee table. She rubbed at her eyes, which were beginning to itch from exhaustion. Vera giggled quietly and rubbed her back.

     "Why don't you finally go get your beauty sleep, babe?" she said, pulling Bethany close for one last hug. "I need to get going anyway, as long as you're alright by yourself."

     "I'm fine," Bethany assured her, smiling tiredly. "Thank you again for everything tonight. You're the best."

     "Anything for you, sweet thing," Vera said, standing up and helping Bethany off the couch. "I love you, always and forever."

     "I love you too," Bethany said, giving Vera's hands a squeeze. "Want me to walk you to your car?"

     "Absolutely not," Vera tutted. "Go to bed. I'll be sure to lock the door behind me. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

     "Okay," Bethany said, fighting back another yawn. "'Night, Vee."

     "'Night, Bethy."

     Bethany shuffled off down the hallway to the bathroom to brush her teeth, listening to the sound of Vera gathering her things and leaving the apartment. Once she'd left, the silence was more deafening than Bethany had expected it to be.

     She walked into her bedroom and looked sullenly at her empty bed, thinking longingly of where she'd last laid her head. She missed Ville's bed, with its over-the-top canopy and silk sheets, the blankets that smelled like him, and most of all the man himself. She didn't know how she was supposed to sleep without him.

     As if on cue, Bethany's phone began to buzz in her hand, and the picture she'd taken of Ville the day before she left (he'd been messing with a malfunctioning piece of equipment in his studio with the most endearing look of consternation on his face) flashed on the screen.

     "Sometimes I think you can hear my thoughts," Bethany said by way of hello. The sound of Ville's quiet laugh on the other end of the line almost turned her knees to jelly.

     "Missing me, then?" he asked. His voice sounded tired and a bit hoarse. Bethany glanced at the clock, doing quick math in her head and gathering that it was around five in the morning for him.

     "Terribly," she sighed, finally lifting the covers and crawling into bed. "Have you even slept?"

     "Not since you were in my bed with me," Ville said dully. "I haven't been able to rest."

     "So you've been singing instead?" Bethany guessed, suspecting that was the reason he sounded so rough.

     "Oooh, ten points to Bethany," Ville chuckled. "I sound like shit right now, I know. Sorry."

     "You never sound like shit," Bethany said gently, grabbing the extra pillow and hugging it, feeling silly as she tried to pretend it was Ville she was hugging. He was many things, but pillow-like wasn't one of them. "So... there are lyrics now?"

     "A few," Ville said coyly. "And that's all you're getting out of me. Patience is a virtue."

     "You never let me have any fun," Bethany pouted, though she felt warm all over when he laughed again. "I miss you."

     "I miss you, too," Ville sighed. "But if we keep talking about it we'll feel worse. So tell me about dinner with Vera instead."

     "It was so nice," Bethany said, smiling. "She made me authentic gumbo with rice and potato salad. You have to have a veganism cheat day sometime and try her food, seriously. She only does it on special occasions though, and only if she really likes you."

     "Does she really like me?" Ville asked, sounding skeptical.

     "More than she will ever admit to your face," Bethany giggled. "I told her about how you were thinking about retiring and she immediately started to panic thinking something was wrong with you. Legitimate concern, like she was about to hop on a plane and go nurse you back to health herself."

     "There's a terrifying concept," Ville snorted. "She'd scare the illness out of me."

     "As someone who has experienced this, I can confirm," Bethany said, remembering the time she'd had the flu and Vera had taken it upon herself to force feed her chicken noodle soup and ginger ale for an entire weekend. With zeal. "It's effective, I'll give her that."

     "Even so, don't give her my address," Ville said sternly, though Bethany could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm glad she was there for you tonight. I didn't want you to have to go right back to being alone."

     "I didn't either," Bethany agreed. "Speaking of which, how was visiting your parents?"

     "Good!" Ville said, perking up a bit. "Jesse's home. You just missed him. He was probably in the airport at the same time we were. Fucker didn't tell anyone he was coming home. He was really bummed out that he didn't get to meet you."

     "Oh, dammit!" Bethany exclaimed. "Figures. That's alright, I'll see him eventually. Maybe he could come visit over the summer while you're here. Ooh, we could go to Kennywood together or something... Hey, is your brother single?"

     "Yeees..." Ville said slowly. "Why?"

     "Maybe we could set him up with Vera," Bethany snickered, only to break out into full laughter when Ville groaned loudly.

     "God, no," he said, and Bethany could imagine him covering his eyes dramatically with the back of his hand. "Please, no. I don't think I could take her as a sister-in-law."

     "She's practically my sister," Bethany pointed out. "That ship has sailed. We're a package deal, I'm afraid."

     "The things I put up with for you."

     "You know you like her, too," Bethany teased. "She's a lot, but she makes things interesting."

     "She does," Ville conceded through a yawn, which made Bethany yawn as well. "Hmm... How many hours can you stay awake consecutively before it kills you?"

     "I think the record is eleven days," Bethany said. "I don't think the guy died, but maybe you shouldn't risk it?"

     "You know I love a challenge," Ville said dryly.

     "And I love you," Bethany said, hugging her pillow a little tighter. "So you should get some sleep. I know I definitely need to."

     "I love you too," Ville said softly. "You wanna do the lame thing and keep the call connected while we sleep?"

     "I love doing the lame thing," Bethany grinned.

     "Good," Ville said, and Bethany heard the sound of shifting blankets and the slight squeak of the mattress as Ville got comfortable. "Sweet dreams, Beth."

     "Sweet dreams, Ville."

Chapter Text

     Bethany arrived at Franklin and Son's on Monday morning to find that the power was out. She'd received a text from Mr. Franklin warning her about it, but she'd already been halfway there and didn't see the point in turning around. She attempted to punch in her entry code at the back door only to have it pushed open from inside by Mr. Franklin himself, looking harried and apologetic.

     "Good morning, Bethany," he said, smiling. "That snow got pretty heavy last night and took down some power lines, so we're on generators. All that power is going to keeping our guests comfortable downstairs, so you might want to keep your coat on."

     "Aye, aye, captain," Bethany laughed, following him inside. Once the door was closed she held out the black coffee she'd gotten him as a surprise. "Guess I had a psychic moment when I grabbed this for you, huh?"

     "Oh, my dear you are an angel," Mr. Franklin said, taking the to-go cup gratefully. He motioned for her to follow him out of the darkened back room and into the hallway where there was some daylight streaming in through the windows. "Come sit with me in my office for a bit. It's not like we can get much work done until the electric company has people out looking at the lines, anyhow."

     "Got an ETA for that?" Bethany asked, already fairly certain she knew the answer.

     "I called about half an hour ago," Mr. Franklin sighed. "They said crews were 'en route' to the downed sections, but God knows how long it will take for them to get here with how nasty the roads are or how long it will take them to get things functional. I already texted everyone telling them not to rush here this morning, just in case it's going to take hours."

     "Yeah, I got that while I was leaving the Dunkin' drive thru," Bethany snorted, sipping her coffee. "Figured I might as well get the rest of the way here and see if I could make myself useful. Besides, I missed you a little bit."

     "Only a little bit?" Mr. Franklin chuckled, feigning a hurt expression. "Ah, well. I know you were having a tough time right before you left. How was your trip? Are you feeling better now you've had some time to relax?"

     "I... yes," Bethany said hesitantly, chewing her lower lip. "I had a wonderful time, and it was very relaxing."

     "I am sensing a 'but'," Mr. Franklin said, leaning back in his chair. "You know you're like family to me, Bethy. To all of us. You don't have to beat around the bush."

     "I know," Bethany murmured, looking out the window at the gray winter morning. There had to be at least seven inches of snow on the top of the bushes outside. Rookie snowfall, compared to where she'd just been. "If I'm being honest, this... all of this, the funeral business... It's becoming really heavy for me."

     "I can tell," Mr. Franklin said gently. He moved his chair forward and clasped his hands together on his desk, regarding Bethany with kind eyes. "It's only natural, you know. This is a hard line of work to be in at the best of times. You have not been through the best of times. Some people draw strength from this work in their time of grief, but not everyone can do that. It doesn't say anything negative about you if you're one of the ones who can't."

     "I feel like a failure," Bethany said dejectedly, deflating in her chair. "I was so determined to do the damn thing. I put off going to get my license for so long and I was finally on track to do it and make something of myself, and then..."

     "You're not a failure," Mr. Franklin said firmly. "Bethany, look at me. You have put in more work and dedication than anyone else in this building. You have never treated this like it was just a job. You have known from the beginning that it was a vocation and you gave it everything you had. You had no way of knowing what was coming or how it would affect you. That doesn't undo all the hard work you've done. That doesn't change who you are, or how proud I am of you."

     "Stop," Bethany said, laughing shakily. "You're going to make me cry."

     "I certainly don't mean to do that," Mr. Franklin said, pushing a box of tissues across the desk toward Bethany. "I only mean to let you know that if you need to step back, make changes, even move on entirely, I understand completely. I support you completely. Anything I can do to help you on your way to achieving success, no matter what that looks like, I will do in a heartbeat. Got that, young lady?"

     "Got it," Bethany said, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "I'm not leaving, not now anyway. I am planning to leave mortuary school, though. That's a phone call I have to make at some point today."

     "I completely understand," Mr. Franklin said, nodding. "I hope you don't feel shame about doing what's best for you. You're no good to anyone a miserable, nervous wreck. Better to take things off your plate and do what you can handle well."

     "I hope you're right," Bethany sighed, giving him a small smile. "Thank you, Mr. Franklin. I appreciate everything you've done for me, both inside and outside of this madhouse."

     "Right back at you," Mr. Franklin grinned. "It has been a bit less mad without you these last few weeks. It's good to see you again."

     "It's good to see you too," Bethany said, reaching out and squeezing the old man's hand. "So. Tough conversation over with. Is there anything I can do? Sort some files by candlelight? Send some orders by carrier pigeons in little scarves?"

     "And this is why I missed you," Mr. Franklin snickered. "Unfortunately, what I really need is someone to help me shovel and salt the walkways."

     "I knew you were going to say that," Bethany groaned, flopping back dramatically in her seat. "Where the hell are your strong, handsome sons? They're the ones who are supposed to do the manual labor."

     "If you think you can do a better job of convincing them of that than I can, please be my guest," Mr. Franklin said, getting up and walking around his desk. He patted Bethany on the shoulder. "Come on, I'll give you a hundred dollars."

     "It'll do," Bethany said, getting to her feet. "I also want an employee of the month plaque. A big one. Gold."

     "As you wish, Miss Bethany."

***

     When noon rolled around and the power still hadn't come back on, Mr. Franklin gave up the ghost and told Bethany to head home. He promised her a full day's pay and sent her on her way (though not before handing her a crisp hundred dollar bill for her snow shoveling woes), leaving her with a wide open afternoon. Bethany sat in her car for a while scrolling idly on her phone while the vents blew hot air at full blast, trying to decide what to do. The answer came in the form of her half-hearted reading of a local news article being interrupted by her father's picture popping up as her phone began to ring.

     "Hey Dad!" she said after accepting the call.

     "That was speedy," Carson said. "I thought you might be busy."

     "Power's out at the funeral home," Bethany explained, fishing her vape out of her pocket and cracking the window a bit before taking a long inhale. "Mr. Franklin cut me loose early once we ran out of puttering around to do. What's up?"

     "I did just want to check in and see how you were doing," Carson said thoughtfully. "But since you're free now, would you like to go grab lunch with me? Everyone in this office is annoying today and I need to get out of here."

     "Say no more," Bethany giggled, putting her car in drive and beginning to pull out of the lot. "I am on my way to rescue you as we speak."

     "I can always count on you," Carson said, sounding relieved. "See you in ten?"

     "As long as everyone else refrains from driving like grandmas," Bethany said. "I'm thinking Mario's. It's been a while since we did Italian."

     "You just want the breadsticks," Carson teased.

     "Eat your heart out, Olive Garden," Bethany snorted. "Be there soon."

***

     Bethany and Carson were seated in their favorite booth near the front window of Mario's, enjoying their salads and more than a few breadsticks, chatting casually about Carson's difficult day at the realty office. Apparently there had been a miscommunication between several agents about who was in charge of a sale, and now everyone wanted a cut of the commission. Handling it like adults was apparently out of the question.

     "Really, it is Theresa's client," Carson sighed, rubbing his forehead. "But she came down with the flu last week so Joe was handling things in her absence. He did the showing and negotiating with the seller though, so he should get something. Theresa is beyond steamed and it's not her fault, but what can I do?"

     "Is fifty-fifty not an option?" Bethany asked, sipping her Coke.

     "Theresa thinks that because her name's on the paperwork, she should get at least seventy," Carson said, rolling his eyes. "That's... a stretch. I couldn't take their yapping anymore. With any luck I'll get back and one of them will be rolled in a carpet and the problem will have solved itself."

     "Your management style is fascinating," Bethany said, raising an eyebrow. Carson shrugged, wiping at his mouth with a napkin after finishing his last bite of salad.

     "Enough about my bullshit," he said, smirking. "Tell me about Finland. Tell me about Ville. How's he doing without you? Or did he stow himself away in your suitcase? I think he'd probably fit."

     "Dad," Bethany said warningly.

     "What?" Carson laughed. "I might have looked him up. That is one slim fellow you've got there. Speaking of which, you must have taken some pictures, I'd like to see them. The appropriate ones only, please."

     "Dad!" Bethany said again, more aghast this time. Still, she pulled out her phone and opened her gallery before sliding it across the table. "You're awful today. I think you need a nap more than you need pasta."

     "Oh, hush," Carson said, picking up her phone and smiling as he swiped through the pictures. "These are lovely, Bethy. You both look so happy. Although I imagine he would not be happy if he knew you took a couple of these. You should know that a man's 'passed out in his recliner' time is sacred."

     "You assume I didn't show him the second he woke up," Bethany said, smiling a little at the memory. Ville hadn't been particularly amused but he hadn't told her to delete it either. He got one of her sleeping the next morning with her hair a mess and her mouth wide open, so she was calling it even. "He's a good sport when he wants to be."

     "No lasting damage from our sneaky backroom dealings?" Carson asked, looking slightly ashamed of himself. Bethany had let him know she figured out that Ville was the one paying for Cassandra's stay in rehab and that she wasn't thrilled about it, but she hadn't wanted to get into it too deeply with Carson after already hashing it out with Ville. Now she sighed, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms as she looked out the window.

     "No," she replied, watching a young woman walk her dog past the restaurant with more attention than was necessary. "I was angry. I got shitty with him for it, but it wasn't really just about him bailing Mom out... Anyway, we patched things up and it's fine. I can't believe the two of you thought that would slip past me, though." She finally looked back at Carson, narrowing her eyes. "Who called who? Ville never said. I don't even know how you knew how to get in touch with each other."

     "He called me," Carson said warily, taking a slow sip of his water. "I suspect he might have gotten the number from your phone, since it was my personal cell and not my work number. Don't get upset with him all over again. He was just doing what he felt was right. You are terribly stubborn and it would appear so is he. It worked out for the best."

     "I guess," Bethany huffed, shaking her head. "I suppose I should ask how she's doing?"

     "That would be polite, yes," Carson said, giving Bethany a chastising look. "From what I hear, she's settling in well and is already feeling much better. They have an arts program at the facility and she's actually started painting again. Like I said, things seem to have worked out."

     "That is good to hear," Bethany admitted, smiling at her father for a moment before a recurrent troubling thought crossed her mind yet again. "Just promise me you won't tell her or her lawyer where that money came from. She does not need to know about that."

     "No, I agree," Carson said grimly. "Does she know about Ville at all?"

     "She knows I've been seeing someone," Bethany shrugged. "I didn't give her a name or tell her what he does for a living. I know I'll have to eventually, but I'd prefer to do it when she's out and back on her feet somewhat."

     "Of course," Carson said, nodding. "Anyway, change of subject. When are you going back to school? I assume you took a little extra time off to get reoriented after your time away."

     "Oh," Bethany said quietly, trying very hard not to pull a face. She hadn't been keeping Carson in the loop with regards to her inner turmoil over her career. "Yeah, so... About that..."

     "This sounds ominous," Carson said, frowning with concern. "Did something happen?"

     "A lot of things have happened, Dad," Bethany said softly, scratching the nail of her index finger against the white tablecloth. "It's become pretty clear that funeral directing may not be the best path for me. I thought I'd be able to push through... everything. But every time I turn around something happens that knocks the wind out of me, or the pressure of it all builds up until I feel like I'm suffocating. So, with that said... I'm planning to drop out. Today."

     "I'm sorry, honey," Carson said after a long pause. "I didn't realize you were struggling so much. I wish you would have told me."

     "I didn't want to worry you," Bethany said tiredly. "I'd hoped that I'd shake it off while I was away, but coming back home just made me realize how much I dread trying to carry on with everything."

     "So... What do you plan to do instead?"

     "I..." Bethany trailed off, hating that she had no good answer to that question. "I'm really not sure. I'll stay on at the funeral home until I figure something out, of course. I've been there so long and my job there is separate enough from the things I can't handle most days. But beyond that, I'm in the dark."

     "Have you spoken to Ville about this?" Carson asked. Bethany thought there was a hard edge to his tone, one she didn't care for.

     "I have," she said, beginning to feel defensive. "He knows I've been thinking about getting out of the business."

     "And what does he think?"

     "He said he'll support me no matter what I choose to do," Bethany replied.

     "Support you in an emotional sense, or financial?" Carson pressed.

     "I- what?" Bethany spluttered, blinking in surprise.

     "Did he ask you to quit funeral work and let him support you?"

     "He... He suggested it, yes," Bethany said, feeling her face grow hot. "I told him I haven't made my decision yet, but-"

     "Bethy..." Carson sighed. "Look. I can't tell you what to do, not with your career or with your personal life. I know it's not my place. But I do want you to think very carefully before you accept an offer like that. I know it's tempting, especially when you're struggling, but... I've seen this go very wrong before."

     "What do you mean?" Bethany asked warily, feeling cold dread pooling in her stomach.

     "I made a similar offer to your mother," Carson said sadly. "She was a nurse when we first met, and after we married. She worked in the labor and delivery wing of the hospital. We... We had a few losses, before we had you. Working in that environment was a living hell for her, and it killed me to watch her suffer like that. The realty company was doing well, I was doing well, so I told her if she couldn't take being at the hospital anymore that it was okay and I'd provide for her. She agreed, and she was so relieved. Then we had you and we were overjoyed, but without an outside focus, without some kind of purpose beyond our home, your mother fell into a deep depression. That's when the drinking started. And once she started, she couldn't stop."

     "I never knew that," Bethany said quietly.

     "Things were already so strained with your mother by the time you were old enough to be told about it, I just never felt the desire to explain," Carson said. "Maybe I should have, I don't know. Maybe if you'd known why, you wouldn't have come to resent her as much. Either way... That's the sorry truth of it. And as much as I know you hate to hear it, I see a lot of your mother in you, Bethany. The good things, the things you never got to see. Your kindness, your passion for helping people, your drive and determination. Your mother had all those things when she was younger. But once she'd felt so much pain and no longer had something to work toward every day, she lost herself. I don't want to see that happen to you."

     "I'm not her," Bethany said firmly. "Whatever small similarities we may have, I'm not Mom. I'm not going to fall apart in the time it takes me to find another line of work. My situation is fairly different, I'd say."

     "I know, honey," Carson said. "It's just something I want you to keep in mind. When you're exhausted and feeling low, letting go of responsibilities and all the stress sounds great. But if you don't have some kind of outlet, it can turn into hell before you even realize it. Please remember that you have so much to offer the world, there are so many things you can do with your life. Don't lose yourself in someone else's doting, no matter how well-intentioned it is. You need your own life and identity, too."

     "I understand," Bethany said, blinking back tears. "I'll keep it in mind, Dad. I promise."

     "That's all I ask," Carson said, reaching across the table and taking Bethany's hand in his. "Now, how about you pick the next topic? All I seem to be doing is bringing down the mood."

***

     Bethany sat motionless on her couch, staring at the number she'd typed into her phone. It was the number for student support line at the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science, a number she'd called a dozen times before to place orders for text books or to work out scheduling conflicts. It had never been for anything as nerve-wracking as what she was about to do.

     Alright, ripping the bandaid off in three... two... one. She pressed the call button before she could think better of it, navigating her way through the automated system until she reached someone at the admissions office.

     "Good afternoon!" came a cheery voice on the other end. "This is Stacey in admissions. What can I do for you?"

     "Hi, this is Bethany Phillips," Bethany began nervously. "I've been enrolled for a couple years now, I'm sure we've talked before. My student ID number is 201978345. Um... I'm calling because I unfortunately have come to a very difficult decision. I need to drop out of the program. I appreciate the opportunity, but it's just not working out for me any longer."

     "I am so sorry to hear that, Bethany," Stacey said. She sounded like she genuinely meant it. "If you are absolutely sure, I can send some paperwork to your email for you to read and fill out. You can either fax or mail the completed forms to us."

     "Okay," Bethany said, already feeling relief beginning to flood her body. "Thank you very much, I'll get those in the mail as soon as possible."

     "Would you like to speak to a student advisor, or maybe one of your professors?" Stacey asked kindly. "You know, before making the final call?"

     "No, thank you," Bethany said. "Believe me I've... I've thought it over. This is what I need to do."

     "Well, if you're sure," Stacey said. "I wish you the best in your future, Bethany. Please know you can always come back if you change your mind!"

     "Thank you," Bethany said, suddenly feeling a little choked up. "I'll remember that. Have a good afternoon, Stacey."

     "You too!"

     Bethany hung up and let out a long, shaky breath. She'd done it. She'd done it and she hadn't been struck down by Anubis himself, she hadn't been yelled at or made to feel bad. It really had been that easy. Imagine that.

     She laid back on the couch, letting her eyes fall closed. It had been a rather long, emotional day and a nap wasn't sounding like the worst idea. Just as she began to pull a blanket over herself, her phone dinged from where it had slid between the couch cushions. She pulled it out, smiling when she saw two messages from Ville. One, she noticed with a jolt in her stomach, seemed to be a audio file.

     "Hey you. I'm sorry I haven't been very talkative today. I've been busy. Here's a little spoiler. I hope it makes your first day back at the office a little less sucky. I love you."

     Bethany quickly pressed play on the audio message, a smile immediately plastering itself to her face as the sound of an acoustic guitar began to float from the tiny speaker. It wasn't perfect quality, suggesting Ville had just recorded it on his phone, but somehow that made it even sweeter. She could hear him humming softly, apparently not ready for her to hear the words he'd written just yet. The melody was very pretty, if a little sad. Of course it was a little sad. Bethany continued to smile anyway, hugging herself tightly and closing her eyes until the music came to a stop. Once it had, she quickly pressed the call button and brought the phone to her ear.

     "Well, that was fast," Ville chuckled when he picked up. "Aren't you still at work?"

     "The weather had other plans for me today," Bethany said, rolling her eyes. "I got to leave early since the snow took out power lines."

     "Puny American infrastructure," Ville tutted. "Alright then. What did you think?"

     "It's beautiful," Bethany said, her cheeks beginning to ache from grinning so much. "Seriously, how do you manage to make every song so gorgeous?"

     "I don't - I hide the ugly ones under my bed," Ville laughed. "If you'd snooped harder you might have found them."

     "Damn," Bethany said, snapping her fingers. "I'll have to remember that for next time."

     "Nope, I'm moving them to a more secure location as we speak," Ville said. "Watching you look for them will be very entertaining. So, what did you do with all your free time today?"

     "I went to lunch with Dad," Bethany said, rolling over onto her side and pulling the blanket more tightly around herself. "If I hadn't I'm pretty sure he would have throttled a couple of his employees. Luckily a nice lobster fettuccine seemed to soothe his temper."

     "That's funny," Ville said slowly. "Every time I started to get bitchy on tour I was suddenly whisked off for lunch too..."

     "The way to a man's heart is truly through his stomach," Bethany giggled. "Even yours, when you can be persuaded to eat something."

     "I do eat!" Ville protested.

     "Bananas barely count," Bethany pointed out.

     "But they do somewhat count," Ville said with an air of finality. "Any chance your dad mentioned how your mom is doing? I've been wondering."

     "She's good," Bethany sighed. "Better than expected. So, yes, you were right. I just hope it lasts."

     "I do, too," Ville said gently. "Let your dad know that if he needs anything else, he can call me."

     "Nope," Bethany said shaking her head. "I'm not involved in your shenanigans. You can tell him."

     "Still a little steamed at me, huh?"

     "You went through my phone to get his number," Bethany said, narrowing her eyes.

     "Oh, right," Ville said guiltily. "You know, I meant to talk to you about that. You may want to put a passcode on your phone. Not just to keep my nosy ass out of it, but in general. God knows what sort of pictures you have of me on there now."

     "Only G-rated embarrassment material," Bethany assured him. "I hardly had the mental capacity to take any dirty pictures when the opportunity presented itself."

     "You almost sound disappointed," Ville teased. "Do you want dirty pictures, Bethany?"

     "I- I uh..." Bethany stammered, her face heating. "I hadn't really thought about it, to be honest with you."

     "You're thinking about it nooow," Ville crooned, his smile audible in his voice. "If you promise to lock up your phone and make a photo gallery with a password, I could be persuaded to make it happen. I'm just saying."

     "Is this the second stage of grief over my going home?" Bethany asked suspiciously. "Now you're just horny?"

     "Did the eggplant emojis in my texts last night not communicate this clearly enough?" Ville snickered, making Bethany groan and rub at her forehead.

     "I was choosing to ignore those," she said. "Much like I was ignoring your hinting that you wanted phone sex."

     "The more you ignore me, the worse I am going to get," Ville said matter-of-factly. "I am very persistent."

     "Am I going to wake up from this nap I'm about to take to an inbox full of your dick?" Bethany asked wearily. "If so, just tell me now so I can brace myself."

     "That would lack the element of surprise," Ville said primly. "No, I will wait until you least expect it. Enjoy the anticipation. Or the mild anxiety."

     "Making a mental note to never open a photo message from you in public ever again," Bethany snorted. She smiled at his responding laughter, once again feeling a pang of missing him even as he was being obnoxious.

     "Alright, I'll stop torturing you now," Ville said gently. "Go sleep. I have work to do. I love you."

     "I love you too," Bethany said. "Idiot."

Chapter Text

     Bethany groaned, feeling yet another sneeze coming on as she climbed down from the step stool in front of the bookcase she'd been dusting. She lunged for the box of tissues on an end table and managed to pull one out and press it to her nose just in time.

     "Bless you," Carson said apologetically for what was probably the fifteenth time in the past hour.

     "Thanks," Bethany grumbled, dropping down onto the couch and glaring at her father through watery eyes. "If you really want to bless me you can promise to occasionally climb up there with a dust rag. When was the last time you actually did?"

     "I don't recall," Carson chuckled, sitting down on the edge of the coffee table. "Out of sight, out of mind."

     Bethany huffed and grabbed her water bottle, taking a long drink as she looked around the living room. It was the last room in the house they'd tackled on their cleaning spree and aside from vacuuming the area rug, they seemed to be finished. Carson had asked for her help in getting the place tidied up before Cassandra came over for dinner to celebrate completing rehab, a request that had left Bethany stunned to the point of speechlessness. She couldn't remember the last time her parents had been in the same room together, let alone shared a meal. She still wasn't sure it was her father's brightest idea.

     "We made surprisingly quick work of it," Carson said, glancing up at the antique clock on the mantel. It was only three in the afternoon and Cassandra wasn't due to arrive until seven that evening.

     "I have enough caffeine in my bloodstream to fell a racehorse," Bethany snorted. "That probably has something to do with it."

     "That's why I've made a point to stay out of your way," Carson laughed. Then he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, seeming nervous. "I suppose that means it's time for me to get cleaned up myself and start on dinner."

     "Allow me to remind you this was your harebrained idea," Bethany said, pointing an accusatory finger. "I'm still trying to figure out why you invited her here."

     "She deserves to celebrate," Carson said, nodding as if he were convincing himself. "It's no small thing for her, actually sticking with a program like that and seeing it through to the end."

     "Well, when the alternative was prison..."

     "Still," Carson said, shooting Bethany a stern look. "It's a good first step. And it will be good for her to see you. I'll just try to be the unobtrusive chef and not draw her ire."

     "What is it with you people and your insistence that I need to have a relationship with my mother?" Bethany whined, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling.

     "'You people'?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "Who else is badgering you?"

     "Ville!" Bethany exclaimed, throwing a hand in the air. "He keeps bringing her up in conversation in a way he thinks is slick but seriously isn't. When he heard she was coming for a visit and dinner he was practically giddy."

     "He's very close with his parents, isn't he?" Carson asked. "He probably has a slightly idealized view of family. Maybe he just wants you to have what he has."

     "He can keep dreaming," Bethany said dryly. "Mom is no Anita Valo. Christ, that woman was more motherly to me in all two of our interactions than Mom has been for my entire life."

     "Cassandra has a lot to make up for," Carson admitted. "Maybe more than she'll ever be able to manage. But she might finally be in a place to try. We can afford to give her that chance, right?"

     "You sure you and Ville haven't been in cahoots again?" Bethany said, looking at her father appraisingly. "You sound just like each other."

     "He did call me this morning," Carson said, snickering when Bethany stared at him wide eyed. "Not to conspire against you, just to see if there was anything else he could do for me or your mother. I told him no, he's already done more than he ever needed to, so fix your face before those eyeballs pop out of your head."

     "If he doesn't start keeping his nose out of things he's going to lose it," Bethany muttered, pushing a hand through her hair and grimacing at how sweaty and grimy it felt.

     "He loves you," Carson said gently. "That's all it is. It comes from a good place, so try not to be so hard on him."

     "Yeah, yeah," Bethany sighed, pushing herself back up to her feet. "Anyway, let's get this furniture moved so we can vacuum and move onto phase two, huh?"

     "I'll take care of it," Carson said, standing up and giving Bethany's shoulder a squeeze. "You go on home and get showered and all gussied up. I can handle the cooking. Maybe shoot for getting back here around six?"

     "I can do that," Bethany said, pulling her father in for a hug. "Try not to psyche yourself out while I'm gone?"

     "No promises," Carson sighed, kissing the top of her head. "If you come back to find the house in flames while I'm running in frantic circles on the front lawn, I do apologize."

***

     "What about this one?" Bethany held up a deep green velvet dress in front of her webcam, frowning critically at the lace trim on the sleeves. Her eyes snapped back up to the laptop screen when Ville sighed dramatically.

     "You know I'm going to tell you I like all of them," he said, leaning back in his office chair and folding his arms behind his head. "You're stalling."

     "Am not," Bethany muttered, tossing the dress onto the pile that had materialized on her bed. She'd been trying to find something to wear for half an hour already and was having an inordinate amount of difficulty.

     "It's not the Met Gala, it's dinner with your mother," Ville said. "You could show up in those sweatpants you have on now. It's not that serious."

     "I've already done the makeup, it's too late to back down," Bethany grumbled, picking up a black sweater and jeans that she'd already vetoed twice. "It probably would be better to err on the side of comfort in the very likely event that she gets my blood pressure up..."

     "Your optimism is inspiring," Ville said dryly.

     "One day you'll meet her, she'll make some caustic remark about you directly to your face, and then you will understand," Bethany said, pointing a finger at her laptop. "The woman is as bitter as afternoon gas station coffee. Somehow I don't think sobriety is going to fix that."

     "Maybe the therapy helped," Ville said with a shrug. "Have you spoken to her at all since she got out of treatment?"

     "Briefly," Bethany said, dropping back into her chair. "I called her to congratulate her once they turned her loose. She was... mostly pleasant. She bitched about losing her job because of the whole mess for about five minutes, but I guess the rehab center helped her get a few interviews so that issue should solve itself. Other than that, no, I haven't stayed in touch with her."

     "Please tell me you at least finally told her about us," Ville said, though the look on his face told Bethany he knew better.

     "I didn't," she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I know waiting until tonight to drop it on her probably isn't the greatest idea, but there's not much I can do about it now. We'll just have to see how it goes."

     "I'll pray for you," Ville said, turning his chair so his 'definitely not an altar to Black Sabbath' was visible behind him. "Right over there. Should I cover myself in goat's blood or do you think that's overkill?"

     "Might as well pull out the big guns," Bethany snickered. She held up the pants and sweater she was still holding and looked at them dispassionately. "Anyway, I think I'm going with this after all. Yea or nay?"

     "For the third time, yes, I think that outfit is cute," Ville said, rolling his eyes. "I'm hanging up on you before you change your mind again. You're going to be fine tonight. I love you."

     "I love you too," Bethany said, waving dejectedly at the screen. Ville waved back before disconnecting the video call, leaving Bethany alone in the quiet of her bedroom.

     Might as well get this over with, she thought, finally beginning to get changed. What's the worst that could happen?

***

     To Bethany's shock, the first hour of dinner went smoothly. Other than a remark about Bethany's weight early on ("You indulged on vacation, didn't you?"), Cassandra had been remarkably agreeable and polite. She looked healthier and more put together than Bethany could ever remember seeing her, with color in her cheeks and her graying hair freshly dyed to a chocolate brown. She was actually eating the roast turkey dinner Carson had prepared and had genuinely complemented him on it. She was even managing to have a friendly conversation with him, a phenomenon that was practically unheard of.

     "The rehab center offered horse riding and caretaking as therapy," she told him animatedly. "You would have loved it. There was one horse, Old Bob, who I think you would have been tempted to take home."

     "Maybe if I was twenty years younger," Carson laughed. "I don't imagine I can hop up in a saddle like I used to."

     "I'd pay good money to see you try," Bethany teased, smiling despite herself. She remembered her father being good at horseback riding back when she was little. It was a hobby that had fallen to the wayside as Carson had gotten busier with the realty office. Without thinking, she said, "You know, Ville's mother used to work with horses."

     Woops.

     "Ville?" Cassandra said, turning to Bethany curiously. "Is that the mysterious boyfriend you mentioned last year?"

     Bethany froze like a deer in headlights. There was no avoiding the topic now.

     "Um, yeah," she said quietly, her mouth suddenly dry. "We met back in the fall. He's the reason I went to Helsinki, actually. He lives there."

     "Is that a common Finnish name?" Cassandra asked. "I know you love that one singer, Ville Valo."

     "Incredibly common," Bethany laughed nervously. "You can't swing a cat in Finland without hitting a Ville. But... Funnily enough, this Ville is that one. Valo, I mean."

     Cassandra blinked. "You're kidding."

     "Nope!" Bethany said, trying to sound cheerful to cover up the fact that she was shaking like a leaf. "Long story short, I met him at his show in Pittsburgh. We got to talking, exchanged numbers and... Here we are."

     "How about that," Cassandra said, her tone unreadable.

     "He's a great guy," Carson supplied quickly, sensing the rise in tension. "I've spoken to him several times. A complete gentleman, through and through. Bethany couldn't have chosen better."

     "Thanks, Dad," Bethany said, giving him a grateful smile.

     "If he makes you happy, I guess that's what matters," Cassandra said, taking a sip of her Coke. "I will say, though... He's older, isn't he?"

     "A bit," Bethany said, trying not to outwardly show her irritation. "It doesn't bother either of us much."

     "It's just an interesting choice," Cassandra continued. "Considering what you went through with Mason."

     "Cass," Carson said warningly.

     "It's fine," Bethany said, though she had a hand balled into a fist on her knee beneath the table. "Look, death doesn't tend to make sense. It takes whoever it wants, whenever it wants. Ville could live to be a hundred years old, or he could fall down some stairs the wrong way tomorrow and that would be that. There's no way to predict the future. No sense in worrying about it and avoiding something that makes me happy just because it's inevitably going to end someday."

     "Fair enough," Cassandra said, raising her hands in surrender. "A different subject, then. He's been very successful, right? That must be so nice for you."

     Bethany didn't miss the tinge of bitterness in her mother's voice. She took a steadying breath before responding, knowing where this train of conversation was likely to go.

     "He's done well for himself. He's... generous. I try to keep him from going overboard with spoiling me."

     And you, she added in her head.

     "I'm sure he treats you like a princess anyway," Cassandra said, a smile that looked slightly forced crossing her face.

     "If either of us is a princess it's probably him," Bethany joked, attempting to lighten the mood. "He is good to me, though. I'm very lucky."

     "As you so often seem to be," Cassandra said with a curt nod. "So, when do we get to meet him?"

     "He's visiting in the summer," Bethany said, fidgeting with her napkin. "Dad's managed to rope him into helping with house renovations. We'll see how that goes. Heaven help us."

     "Have you ever actually seen him use power tools?" Carson asked. "Maybe he's great at it and you keep denigrating him for nothing."

     "I haven't, but I have my suspicions," Bethany said wearily. "He's already said carpentry isn't his forté."

     "Ahh, I'll find a use for him," Carson chuckled.

     "You'll have to let me know when he's coming," Cassandra said. "I'd like to get to know him. Maybe we could all have dinner like this again. This was nice."

     "Sure, Mom," Bethany said, smiling even as a bubble of dread began to form in her stomach. "We'll make it happen."

***

     When Bethany got back to her apartment she collapsed onto the couch, feeling like she'd been running a marathon instead of having dinner with her family. All things considered, it could have gone worse. That didn't stop her from fixating on every moment her mother had been snide or judgemental, rotating each instance in her mind like some kind of toxic rotisserie chicken.

     She'd expected her to be envious of her relationship with Ville. As far as Cassandra was concerned, Bethany was God's favorite and she resented her for it. That was how it had always been. Cassandra had the emotional maturity of a twelve year old on a good day. Bethany knew she shouldn't let it get to her, particularly not when her mother truly was doing better than she had in years, but she was hypersensitive. Interaction with Cassandra was always a sore spot and there wasn't much to be done for it.

     Bethany sighed and pulled her phone out of her pocket to call Ville. She knew he was waiting with bated breath to hear about how the family reunion had gone. Sure enough, he picked up after only a couple of rings.

     "The fact that you're calling me from your cell phone and not the landline in a police station is a good sign."

     "You're very funny," Bethany said flatly. Ville chuckled in response.

     "I have been considering making the switch to stand up," he said. "How'd it go?"

     "I only sort of wanted to murder her," Bethany said, kicking her shoes off and moving to stretch out on the couch. "She said I got fat on vacation. I'm blaming you."

     "Ohh, you did not," Ville scoffed. "That is rude. Tell me she didn't open with that."

     "She said hello and that she missed me first," Bethany grumbled. "Points for that, I guess."

     "I'm hoping things improved afterwards?"

     "For the most part," Bethany said. "She was in a better mood than usual. She got along fine with Dad, told us about all the interesting people she met in rehab and the cool programs she participated in while she was there. It was good for her. You were right. Don't make me say it again."

     "Aww, I was thinking about making you get it tattooed," Ville said, his exaggerated pout practically audible over the phone. "Get 'Ville was right', right across your forehead."

     "I hate you."

     "You do not," Ville laughed. "You told her about me, right?"

     "Yeah," Bethany sighed. "I accidentally stumbled into it by making some offhand remark to Dad."

     "So...?"

     "She was more herself about it than she was about anything else, we'll put it that way," Bethany said irritably. "Barely concealed jealousy, gears turning in her head so fast I could almost hear them. Pretty much what I expected."

     "Hmm..." Ville was quiet for a moment, thinking. "She didn't put two and two together then?"

     "The subject never came up, thank fuck," Bethany said, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "She wants to meet you, though. Wants to have family dinner again while you're visiting."

     "Shall I strategically place hidden cameras in your father's dining room?" Ville asked. "I'm sure that footage will be priceless."

     "I think I'll want to purge the memory of the event from my mind immediately after, so maybe pump the brakes on that idea."

     "You're always spoiling my fun."

     "Someone has to keep you in line," Bethany giggled quietly. "You're a menace otherwise."

     "Yes, but I'm funny about it," Ville said, stifling a yawn. "In any case, I'm glad tonight wasn't a total flaming disaster. I know you were nervous about it. Hopefully things keep getting better from here."

     "Hopefully," Bethany agreed. "You heading to bed?"

     "Yeah. I was very busy today and now I'm exhausted," Ville said. "Mige was over working on music with me."

     "Mige, huh?" Bethany said, raising an eyebrow.

     "Yes, and don't read too much into it," Ville chuckled. "If some reunion rumors start swirling, I'll know the source."

     "Please," Bethany snorted. "I have way better rumors I could spread about you if I were so inclined."

     "Nonsense," Ville tutted. "I've already assured the entire world that my penis is very small indeed. What more could you do?"

     "You're dumb."

     "I've informed everyone of that as well. Try harder."

     "I do have a couple pictures of you in those horrible Hello Kitty pajama pants," Bethany pointed out. He had busted those out one night while Bethany had been visiting and she'd had a very difficult time keeping herself from laughing every time she looked at him.

     "Those were a gift," Ville said indignantly. "And I am not ashamed. They're very comfortable."

     "So you've said," Bethany chuckled. "Fine, then. Go put them on and get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

     "Joke's on you, I'm already wearing them," Ville said smugly. "Enjoy the rest of your evening, sweetheart. I love you."

     "I love you too," Bethany said, smiling as she ended the call. As was usually the case after talking to Ville, she felt much better.

     Still trying to gather the will to get up off the couch, Bethany began to flip through her phone's photo gallery. She stopped on one for the aforementioned pajama pants pictures and grinned. It showed Ville standing in his kitchen in the pink pajama bottoms and a black t-shirt, coffee pot in hand, giving the camera a very unimpressed look. The shot was slightly blurry because of Bethany's giggling.

     She opted to set it as her wallpaper rather than posting it on the internet. Never let it be said that she wasn't merciful.

Chapter Text

     Spring came and went with little fanfare, Bethany's life falling back into monotony and routine. She spent more time working with school out of the picture, and while the extra money was nice it didn't make the days any less boring. Her free time was largely spent hanging out with her dad or talking to Ville. Or accompanying Vera on "adventures", which was usually code for shopping. If Vera believed in anything, it was retail therapy for any and all reasons.

     Bethany found herself dragged along on one of these adventures midway through June, only a few days before Ville was set to arrive in Pittsburgh once again. Judging from the way Vera wouldn't shut up about it, Bethany thought she might be even more excited than she herself was.

     "We should bring him to hang out with everyone," Vera said, sniffing a candle only to pull a face and put it back on the shelf. Bethany wasn't sure how Vera could make any sort of judgement on the scent in the middle of Bath and Body Works; the cacophony of fragrances was threatening to give her a headache.

     "If he can be convinced," Bethany said doubtfully. "You know how he is. And after the last time I took him somewhere to socialize..."

     "At least you can be confident that Tracy wouldn't be caught dead at the Moonlight," Vera laughed. "A dive bar?! What would the neighbors think?!"

     "Fair point," Bethany snorted. "God, she used to get so mad at Mason for going there all the time."

     "Which has always been hilarious to me," Vera said, continuing to wander around the candle display. "She acts like she's champagne high society when she's Miller High Life at best."

     "She and Kevin do have money," Bethany pointed out.

     "Yeah, but roots are roots," Vera said with a shrug, finally deciding on some candles in the scents she always bought and loading them precariously into her arms. "They still live here. Acting like they're better than everyone else is a terrible look."

     "You've gotten so much cattier about Tracy since the incident," Bethany said, plucking a few of the candles out of Vera's hands before she could inevitably drop them.

     "I feel justified," Vera sniffed. "Until she apologizes to you, I will continue being a bitch."

     "I am, as always, moved by your loyalty," Bethany said, grinning.

     "Don't act like you don't do the same for me," Vera said, steering them towards the checkout line. "You hold grudges against people I don't even think about anymore."

     "That's because all of your exes are terrible people," Bethany said reproachfully.

     "Why do you think I gave up dating?" Vera asked, rolling her eyes. "Actually, I should have you set me up with somebody. You seem to be batting a thousand in the romance department."

     "Ville's brother is single," Bethany said, fighting back a smirk.

     "Ohhh, no," Vera said, shaking her head. "I'm not getting into that soup. At this point I feel like Ville is my brother. Snatching up the other one would feel icky."

     "He has a nice beard," Bethany offered, knowing that for Vera that was quite the selling point. She cackled when Vera appeared to actually consider it for a moment before scowling.

     "Nice try, sister," she said, narrowing her eyes at Bethany. "No Valo relatives, that's a firm rule."

***

     After a couple hours of impulse purchases, Bethany and Vera made their way to the food court in the center of the mall for some soft pretzels and smoothies. Once they had ordered their food and found a place to sit, Vera dropped her bags unceremoniously to the ground and excused herself to the ladies' room, leaving Bethany to keep watch over everything.

     Taking advantage of the quiet moment, Bethany pulled out her phone with the intention of texting Ville to see if he'd actually gotten his bags packed yet. Before she could do that, however, a Facebook Messenger notification at the top of the screen caught her eye. That was odd; Bethany almost never used Facebook. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been online. She tapped the notification and found that it was a message request from someone named Emilia Laine. Curious, she accepted the request and blinked in surprise as several paragraphs popped up on the screen.

     Hello. You don't know me, and I don't know you. I don't care to, either. We have something in common, however, and I thought I'd give you some information and advice as a courtesy.

     I know you're Ville's new 'love of his life'. I'm sure he's been the picture of a doting, adoring boyfriend thus far and you must be very taken with him. He's elevated the whole thing to an art form. I get it, because I was in your shoes several years ago. He's great at making you feel special, like you're the only thing that matters in his entire world. The problem is, you're not and never will be. Music is his first and only true love. He'll be reminded of that before too long, and that's where the trouble will start.

     Balancing what's important to him is not on his list of talents. When his focus starts to drift to other things, he'll get worried you're going to leave him. Has he started suggesting you should rely on him fully yet? Asked you to quit your job? Or, rather, suggested you don't need to stress yourself out like that and that he'll take care of you? It sounds tempting, I know, but you have to remember that he's a terrible control freak who needs everything to be just how he wants it. He knows if he's your only source of security, you'll be less likely to cut and run when you get sick of his one track mind, obsessive bullshit. He can't lose his muse, you know?

     But hey, I don't know you. Maybe you're fine with that. But if you have any kind of life you value outside of that man, be ready to have it all slip away from you a piece at a time as he gets more afraid of losing you. He wants to be all you have in the world. All that confidence he seems to have is an act - at the end of the day he's an insecure, scared little boy who can't stand to be alone. He'll do anything to prevent it. I don't think it's truly malicious, but that doesn't make it any less harmful.

     Just something for you to consider. Watch for the signs. I got out before he could get his claws in too deep, and I hope you still have time to make the call that's best for you. I've attached a picture, in case you're as skeptical of this message as you ought to be.

     -Emilia

     Bethany stared numbly at the message, rereading it several times as her reeling brain tried to catch up. It would be easy and sensible to brush it off, but as she scrolled down further she felt her blood run a bit colder. There was an image attached showing Ville and a pretty blonde woman sitting together on a beach somewhere. He had his arm around her and was kissing her cheek as she smiled happily at the camera - definitely not a random fan picture plucked from a search engine. This was a private moment, with a woman Bethany had never heard of and Ville had never once mentioned.

     A hand suddenly touched Bethany's shoulder, causing her to nearly jump out of her seat. She looked up to see Vera looking at her wide-eyed.

     "Easy, girl!" Vera laughed nervously. "Just me. Are you alright? You have that thousand yard stare."

     Unable to form words, Bethany handed her phone over to Vera and looked down at her pretzel, which no longer looked very appetizing. Her mind was racing. It wasn't as if she'd never noticed Ville's penchant for being a bit needy and overbearing. They'd even discussed it. But somehow, having it validated by someone else who had also experienced it changed things. It suggested a pattern that Ville hadn't made any meaningful attempts to change. Bethany thought of the conversation she'd had with her father about not losing herself in Ville, about what had happened to Cassandra. She felt slightly sick.

     "Well, shit," Vera muttered, handing Bethany's phone back to her across the table.

     "She's right," Bethany said quietly, finally looking up to meet Vera's eyes. "She described him to a T."

     "Maybe," Vera said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. She chewed her lip and let her eyes drift to the skylights in the ceiling, deep in thought. "He can be a bit much. Too much for her, obviously. But is he actually too much for you?"

     "I don't know," Bethany groaned, dropping her head into her hands. "I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I have no plan. I'm treading water and the only constant at the moment is him. Thinking about it now... That's not a great position to be in, is it?"

     "Well, what would you want to do to fix it?" Vera asked. "Do you want to put the relationship on hold until you choose a new career? Until you have a concrete plan?"

     "I don't want to run the risk of losing him," Bethany said, her heart aching at the thought. "I do love him. He makes me so happy..."

     "Set some boundaries, then," Vera said with a shrug. "Put a stop to the moving in talk, tell him you have to get your life back on track before you make any huge commitments. He can't smother you properly from all the way over there. Use that to your advantage."

     "Yeah," Bethany said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I'll talk to him. This is a lot to take in right now, that's all."

     "Has he ever talked about her?" Vera asked, taking a sip of her smoothie. "Seems like that relationship went down in some spectacular flames."

     "No," Bethany sighed, resting her chin in her hand. "Not by name, anyway. He did mention that his last relationship went poorly and he had purposely stayed single for a long time after that. Said he didn't want to 'inflict himself' on anyone again. I guess this is what he meant."

     "Maybe he's grown up a bit since then," Vera said, reaching over to pat Bethany's hand. "Yeah, he's still doing the whole 'Grug provide for woman, ooga ooga' thing, but he hasn't told you not to have your own life. He's not isolating you from anyone or anything."

     "Yet," Bethany said grimly.

     "Don't get ahead of yourself," Vera scolded gently. "Not because of some bitchy message from an ex girlfriend. Give him a chance to speak first."

     As if on cue, Bethany's phone began to ring on the table, Ville's picture flashing on the screen. She sighed heavily and picked it up, only hesitating for a few seconds before answering.

     "Hey," she said, trying to sound as normal as possible.

     "Hi!" Ville said cheerfully. "Sorry to interrupt your shopping day. I just wanted to ask how hot it is in Pennsylvania right now. I'm packing."

     "I mean, it's warm?" Bethany said, amused enough to let her uneasiness slip away a bit. "It's not 'oh my god kill me' temperatures yet but you're probably not going to get away with hiding in hoodies for two weeks. Sorry to break it to you."

     "Well, that's fine," Ville said, though Bethany could hear the sound of hangers being put back in a closet in the background. "I was more concerned that I might have to... wear shorts."

     "And blind everybody?" Bethany teased.

     "You're one to talk," Ville said snidely. "At least I catch a tan in a couple of hours. No, you know full well my insecurity is about these stork legs of mine."

     "I think you'll be fine in jeans," Bethany giggled. "I won't be mad if you bring one pair of shorts though. It would make me smile."

     "Best you're getting are swim trunks," Ville grumbled. "I haven't owned shorts in about fifteen years and I'm not buying them if I don't have to."

     "I'm more surprised you have swim trunks," Bethany said. "Plain or ugly pattern?"

     "You'll find out," Ville said slyly.

     "Hideous, then," Bethany said with a nod.

     "Anyway," Ville said, clearly intending to change the subject. "How are you?"

     Bethany glanced up and caught Vera's eye. She made an 'I DON'T KNOW!' sort of face at her before responding.

     "I'm alright," she said awkwardly.

     "You sure?" Ville asked suspiciously.

     "Yeah," Bethany said, rubbing her forehead. "Yeah, I'm good. Just tired, I think. Vera dragged me into every store in this mall today."

     "Well, tell her I said to please not exhaust you too much," Ville chuckled.

     "I can hear you, sweet thing," Vera cooed, though she didn't drop her pointed expression.  "Never fear, she'll be in tip-top shape for your highness's arrival."

     "Am I on speaker?" Ville laughed.

     "No, Vera just has bat ears, same as you," Bethany said, giving Vera a gentle kick under the table. "Don't worry, I'll be fine on Sunday."

     "Alright," Ville said, seeming satisfied. "I'll let you go, then. I have to finish packing and take care of some other stuff around here. I love you, sweetheart."

     "I love you too. I'll talk to you later."

     Bethany sighed as she hung up, slumping back in her chair and glaring up at the ceiling.

     "Chickenshit," Vera tsked. Bethany wrinkled her nose at her and crossed her arms over her chest.

     "I was not about to have that conversation over the phone in the middle of a shopping mall," she said crossly.

     "Fine, fine," Vera said, waving a hand. "But you'd better say something soon. If you leave this to fester just because it's uncomfortable you are going to regret it."

     "I know, I know," Bethany mumbled, finally pulling her pretzel apart and taking a bite. It had gone cold and chewy. "I do think this needs to be a face to face talk."

     "Can you keep up a brave facade for that long?" Vera asked skeptically.

     "I can try like hell," Bethany said, rolling her eyes. "Here's hoping it doesn't turn into a fight on his first night here."

     "From your lips to God's ears..."

     "Shut. Up."