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Some Time Off Work

Summary:

Airy's treat turns into an off-camera obsession that gets stalled by injury and interspecies relations. After the mid-roll ads, the obsession is back, the sauce is returned, but oh fuck there are more of them.

A fix-it can-it whatcha-ma-call-it fic that's drowned in self-indulgent sauce.

Notes:

Promised myself I wouldn't write one, but I can't keep a promise apparently. The demons won this time and they've taken everything from me. I shall never be normal again. (I say that like this is my first object affair. It's not. Far from it, in fact.)

This is also a very weird way to cope with ONE 18. Don't question it, that's my job.
The fact that I'm just taking canon and chewing it up is... Just don't think about it, I certainly wasn't.

= - - =

Hello, July 17th 2024 edit here!
I know smut's not everyone's thing so here's an outline of where the porn is! Obviously, it's got some spoilers in it, but it's the fic's outline so idk what to tell you.

I debated whether I should link this for a while, but I figured it was better to do so than not. I mean, the commenter led to me making the outline and it wasn't the first time people have said they like the story but don't really like porn, so there's probably more who'd benefit from seeing it.

Also with this edit, I’m noting that I’ve proofreaded chapter 1. Hope you enjoy, and thank you again to everyone who's read and left me such kind words! I genuinely don't think I would've continued it past chapter 1 without the support!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Well That's New...

Summary:

Airy re-learns how to bust it down sexual style by himself. The question is, Is he goated with the sauce?

Spoilers, we'll never know because I'm not even sure what it'd mean for him to be goated with the sauce in this context. I guess that's for you to figure out.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The decades of isolation had done a number on Airy's psyche. From dimension hopping to find a suitable choice to actually living in the vacant forest, he'd forgotten what it even meant to be an object. He stopped caring about what happened to things about his life on earth before he'd even arrived at the forest, which meant there were only his wants and needs to be fulfilled. Airy learned a handful of things like how to put up a shack, weave the reeds, and start a fire. All things to make his living experience a bit more comfortable, even though he couldn't fully remember what comfort he was trying to attain. He couldn't remember a lot, but he convinced himself that didn't really matter in the end.

With the vines covering the cave's entrance, hardly any light from the setting sun made it through, leading to Airy staying on the computer far longer than expected. It took him a while to figure out how to inter-dimensionally shift through objects’ dimensions but he managed nonetheless. When he'd finally called it a night, it was pitch black outside. The oil lamp had no problems in the dark since he could light himself when needed, but he preferred the mornings. It was much easier to move around without worry of shattering himself when he could see. He didn't like the idea of breaking again—sounded like it'd hurt. The memories of his deaths were very foggy at best and nonexistent at worst. Sometimes he wondered if there was anything other than the forest, more specifically if he'd experienced it. From the batch of contestants, he'd sent back and what they were telling him, there were certainly more worlds that existed. Airy thought it was fun to hear about their experiences—before he crushed them all anyway. He wanted to hear more and with the next batch he was searching through, he was sure he was going to get more.

Airy lit himself. The flame struggled, only burning bright enough to see a few feet in front of him. He was low on fuel which was supposed to replenish as he slept. The only other time it didn't store back up was when he'd overworked himself building the shack but that was ages ago and he certainly didn't feel overworked.  He didn't really feel anything at all—except possibly tired, but that was the most of it. Whatever it was, it wasn't helping him make it back to his shack. A few feet of visibility shifted to none, ambers smouldering as the last bit of fuel burnt out. The shift in visibility barely changed the way he carried himself. He didn't want to walk in the dark but if he had no choice, what could he do about it? Nothing, that was for sure.

In the end, the lack of light was ultimately better. Once his eyes adjusted to see in the dark he could make out the outlines of the shack and fire pit. He wasn't that far away so it only took him a minute or two. Airy was just about to make it into the shack's would-be doorway when a tall weed growing near the entrance brushed against his base and rim. The feeling caused him to recoil and shudder, glaring the plant down in the dark. After a second, he relaxed and walked inside normally, careful to make sure it didn't touch him again. Just the thought of it sent a slight shiver through him—he wasn't used to it and he didn't want to think about it either. To keep himself from dwelling on it too long, he lay down on the reed pile he called a bed and fell asleep.

 


 

The sun had risen, showing itself through the cracks in the wood slots. Airy had woken up with a stifled groan—his bed needed more bedding, that was for sure. He didn't feel like getting his feet wet in the river and having leaves and whatnot stuck to them, so he figured it was time to check out the field. When he'd gotten around to exploring the planet a couple—what was it, years now?—years back he'd found a clearing in the woods. It was empty, aside from a few clusters of tall grasses that littered the place. He'd gone there to harvest some of it but quickly found out it wasn't as sturdy as the reed stalks and blades. With that thought, he realised he'd never used it as bedding and it didn't hurt to try. A quick trip to the field would still leave him with enough time to continue working on ONE when he came back. With a plan in mind, Airy got up to put it into action. He'd grabbed the basket he weaved from the table and went off into the forest. 

If he'd remembered correctly, the field was just past the cave and to the right. He'd most likely see it before needing to turn right, it was a pretty big field after all. The walking led him to what he was looking for and he made a mental note of which trees would lead him back. Stepping over some overgrown roots on the edge of the field gave him a bit of whiplash. Airy knew that it'd been some time since he'd been to the field but he didn't expect it to change so drastically. What once was a relatively flat open field was now a meadow of tall grasses that were just higher than where his button ended. He stepped into the grass and brushed his hand along the tall grass. It kinda tickled, but it felt nice enough to sleep on. He leaned over and started pulling away the stalks, grabbing handfuls to put in the basket. After putting in around 3 or so handfuls, he straightened up to adjust the collection since it was starting to slip out. He did the action again, but on the 3rd basket re-adjustment, the plants stuck back.

Airy's breath hitched when the tall grass brushed against his back. The feeling brought the same shivers from the night before. The feeling was strange but not unwelcome—he'd just never felt so sensitive before. Not to mention, so vulnerable and exposed either. The more he focused on it, the harder it was to ignore it. Sure, it was a pleasant tingle that shot through his metal body but he had to get back to work on the computer. ONE is his calling and he wasn't going to push it off when he was getting so close.

As Airy tried to ground himself, he failed to notice his hand gently rubbing at his button, caressing the edges gingerly. His hand glided along the steadily warming metal, sending a tingle of electricity straight to somewhere—his thoughts of getting back to ONE melted as he grew more intrigued by the sensations. With every glide and swipe of his button and lower rim, he could feel something wind-up inside himself. With another palm of the underside of his button, he could feel his fingers brush up against something wet. More importantly though, the feeling of touching the thing made his knees weak. Airy struggled to keep his breathing from getting too heavy in some vain attempt to control himself, but curiosity fully took him.

He withdrew his hand to get a better look at what happened. His hand had a transparent, or possibly translucent substance on it—it was hard for him to tell. He wasn't entirely thinking straight, nor did he care all that much. He absent-mindedly rubbed the substance through his fingers as he stared at the small mass emerging from what looked like a slit below his button. Out of all the things that could happen, random bits appearing was not something he'd ever guess would happen. Airy caressed the mass earning another breath hitch. He was definitely sensitive there and if he kept touching it while standing, he'd certainly collapse. He didn't like the idea of collapsing...

After placing down his shallow basket and flattening some grass, the oil lamp was ready to get to the bottom of this feel-good mound. Getting slightly more comfortable in the grass, he rubbed the sides of the slit that had appeared. Experimenting with the difference between touching the springy mound in the middle and caressing the slit sides was stark. He could handle the feeling from the sides. Brushing the edges was light, exciting even—a tingly pleasant feeling that always left him wanting more. The small circles he could get on the mound were electric. It made him want to curl up on himself in pleasure. He winded up letting out whines from the intensity. He quickly came to the dilemma of one being too much and the other too little. It didn't help the whole sensitive tingliness that was balling up inside him. He ground circles at the sides, enjoying how the pressure change gave him more stimulation. His eyes unfocused, staring off into the field, mind completely enthralled by his senses. 

Airy stifled a whimper as his hand brushed up against a warm wet thing. His brain snapped out of the trance he'd put himself in to figure out what else had happened. He was just starting to get used to the mound, but he now had a tentacle jutting out of his slit. He figured it grew from the mound while he was out of it. His hand hovered a bit away from the thing as he stared at it. With every thought of touching the new appendage, Airy could feel it pulse and see it twitch. With slightly stronger thoughts, he found out that he could actually move the tentacle, albeit only slightly and it heightened his sensitivity. A slight breeze came through, chilling the secretions and getting him to finally touch it.

The slick substance coated his hand as he rubbed the tentacle from top to bottom. The feeling was vastly different from touching the mound earlier. It took a lot more effort to even feel close to rubbing the mound, but when it did get to that point, it was rewarding. He kept at a steady rhythm of stroking tentacle cock. He was bordering on panting when his other hand held the base, pressing against the sides of his slit. Somewhere near his fuel reservoir felt like it was bubbling, but he didn't want to stop. It felt too good. Please don't make him stop.

He let out soft moans as he pumped away, both hands fiercely stroking as if his life depended on it. Airy knew that he was getting close, close to something inside of him possibly shattering, but unconscious instincts kept him going. He felt like he was teetering on the edge of some grand finale just out of reach. He lay back on the grass, feet planted on the ground. With the new angle, he got more leverage, allowing him to thrust up into his hands while simultaneously jerking them. He strained to keep himself upright, eyes snapping shut at the intensity of the new position. He could feel the bubbling get stronger and the tightness get unbearable. In just a couple strokes, it boiled over.  Airy's legs locked him in mid-air, muscles spasming as he reached his climax. Hands unconsciously worked at his dick as the tentacle shot slick on his front panel and button.

However, he could barely feel the warm substance as his head was still reeling. His body settled back on the grass as tension slipped away, relaxing all the muscles he put to use. Airy was completely blissed-out, brain sitting on cloud 9. A soft smile made its way onto his face as he stared absent-mindedly at the few clouds in the sky. It was only a short while before he was brought back to his world, where he wiped whatever the slick stuff was off of his hand and onto the grass—only to realise that it just made some bits of grass stick to his hand. Seeing that as a sign to wash that and the rest of the stuff off, Airy stood up and grabbed his woven basket with his less sticky hand.

On the way back to the shack, he noticed how his legs felt a bit unstable to walk on and that the slick was, in fact, translucent. With the bunch of it slowly sliding down the front of him, he could see the droplets that formed were blue-tinted and just barely opaque. It was interesting but with his head clearing up he knew it was time to get back on track. Maybe after a quick rinse in the river first though, getting the computer all sticky wouldn't help ONE's second season at all. 

Notes:

Giving Airy the best of both worlds; a dick to pump and the afterglow of the female orgasm. *Puts on cool ass shades* Yeah, my cycle path lamp gets a bit of everything.

I say that but I was (and kinda still am) embarrassed about writing this thing. I mean c'mon, object smut, really? Have I sunk that low? Apparently yes. I'm pissed tho, this took too long to write for it to be so short. I wanted to have it out before August ended but I guess some higher power just didn't want me to complete it by making me fix my AC and buy and learn how to install a bathroom faucet, but I'll reiterate, the demons won big time.