Chapter Text
In the bright, early Caribbean morning as the sun was rising, the insects buzzing, the ocean crashing, and the palm trees swaying, through the brush went Edward and Stede on their journey away from home. The boys were on their way, and with a mission: they were going to leave the island of Barbados, whatever it took.
Taking precautions along the way, Ed had handed his cell phone over to Stede earlier on in their journey so he could take it apart as they walked, battery, sim card, and all so they couldn’t be tracked. The phone went back into his pocket until they could properly dispose of it and all its parts.
When they found themselves in the first nearby city, Ed tossed his disassembled phone in the garbage, snatching Stede’s leather bag from him and draping it over his own tired shoulders, which were perched on his silver crutches. He could make use with what they had while utilizing the many skills that Izzy and his father had taught him when he was peddling their pills, and knew he could make him and Stede a quick buck with the haul in the bottom of the bag from the night before. Perhaps they’d even have enough for airplane tickets, or a couple of ferry passes to a nearby island. Maybe it wasn’t the most ethical way to make money, but Ed was past that. They needed to find a way out and get rid of those pills, and this was it.
Ed was hopeful, and although the first part of their journey together did not go as planned, the second seemed to go off without a hitch.
The pills sold like candy after a couple of hours meandering around downtown, and before they knew it, they were sold out and rushing to the bus station with more funds than they had anticipated getting. They had done far too much walking, and Ed’s arms and legs desperately needed a break.
“Two bus passes to Bridgetown, please,” Stede asked the bus station attendant as Ed collapsed into a nearby station seat, looking for a place to elevate his knee.
Stede pushed a few bills over the counter in exchange for two bus tickets, relief filling him at the idea of them potentially having a real way out.
“The next bus leaves in twenty minutes,” the attendant instructed as they took the currency without enthusiasm, and Stede nodded his thanks in response before returning back over to Ed in a hurry.
The other boy already looked like he was beginning to doze off to sleep as soon as he fell into the seat, but sat up straight once he noticed the other was returning.
“Here,” Stede whispered, passing a bus ticket over to Ed and pocketing the other one. “We’ve got twenty minutes till the bus leaves, and then we’ll be on our way to the airport,” he assured, his free hand reaching over to take hold of Ed’s hand.
Nodding, Ed pocketed his own ticket and didn’t hesitate to take hold of Stede, squeezing securely.
“I can’t believe we made it,” he whispered softly, their voices low, exhausted, and secretive.
“We’re halfway there,” Stede corrected politely, gazing at Ed with expressions reading as a mixture of worry and hope. “You did amazing, I can’t believe you did all that on your crutches.”
At the notion, Ed was chuckling, managing a smile that he gladly gave to Stede.
“My arms feel like noodles,” he half-joked as Stede giggled, waving his arms around along with Stede’s as if they didn’t have any bones left in them at all. “Didn’t have a choice, we had to get out of there fast,” he added.
Both of them paused, their memories suddenly flashing back to the night before on the beach: feelings of his father’s belt holding Ed by the throat and his breath leaving his lungs, the flashing lights in his eyes – and Stede, seeing himself standing over the struggle with the large rock held high above his head, a feeling his hands and arms would not soon forget.
Ed was shaking away the thoughts first, his free hand unconsciously going to touch his throat, the tightness inside it slowly fading, fingers gently caressing the deep bruises that had begun to form there. He turned to Stede, who looked like he was in a trance, his eyelids fluttering and jaw hung as he recalled the previous events vividly.
“Stede,” Ed squeezed his hand tighter, the small twinge of pain in his knuckles bringing Stede crashing back to reality so quickly he almost lost all of his breath in the process.
“It’s okay, Stede, I’m here. I shouldn’t have brought it up, I’m sorry,” Ed apologized, leaning closer to the other boy in the chair next to him.
Shaking his head now, Stede cleared his throat of the frog inside of it, “I’m okay,” he managed quietly, his eyebrows furrowing together slightly. “I just… dozed off for a moment.”
Now both of Ed’s hands were holding onto Stede, enveloping his hand in his warmth and comfort. Ed stared at Stede with a deep worry imprinted in his features, wondering just how bad it was in his head comparatively.
He had thought it over hundreds of times in his own mind as they made their way to the city that morning. If Stede hadn’t acted as quickly as he did, then Ed wouldn’t be sitting in the bus station with him today; it’s likely that he wouldn’t be alive at all. And although this ultimately meant that they both lost their own families and their lives as they knew them, he knew that there wasn’t a better choice in their best interest. One or both of them would be dead. The cost was high, and Ed had come to terms with that. He worried Stede had not.
“I need you to stay out of that head of yours, Stede,” Edward was practically begging, holding tightly onto their hands. “I need you to stay here with me in the present, okay? Can you do that?”
It was no secret that Stede was prone to day dreams, and both of them were slowly being eaten alive by grief and guilt. It was almost impossible to control on their own, especially after all the recent trauma they had experienced, and yet Stede still found himself nodding in response to the question.
“I can do it,” Stede lied, and lied well.
Barely believing it, Ed nodded slowly, reaching up to take Stede’s chin into his hand and turn him to meet his gaze.
“You’re not alone, and you’ll never be alone. If you ever feel that…” he paused to clear his throat, trying to find the right words, “that urge to hurt yourself again, you tell me. We’re in this together now, you remember?”
Stede stared at Ed as he spoke, observing the way his features displayed every tiny thought and emotion that passed through his head, and thinking about how all his life he had wished for someone who only wanted the best for him, and now he’d finally found that person. Yet here he was, lying to his face.
“Yes,” Stede managed quietly, “I’ve got it. I promise, Edward.”
At the assurance this time, he watched Ed’s body relax back into his chair, his hand falling back to rejoin their entwined hands on the arm rest below. They exchanged two small, tired smiles between them, before being interrupted by the bus station intercom, announcing their bus would be departing in five minutes and was beginning to board.
With a couple of groans, the two were moving out of their chairs, Stede first, grabbing the leather bag and tossing it over his shoulder before immediately going to Ed’s side to support him as he stood and steadied himself under his crutches.
“C’mon, we’ve got a long journey ahead of us,” Stede breathed with a sigh, placing a loving kiss on Ed’s cheek before leading them toward their departing bus.
After stopping at the vending machine for a couple bottles of water and some snacks to eat and drink sparingly, they located their transportation and gave the new attendant their tickets, boarding quickly. The bus was mostly empty sans a few people who sat toward the front, and the two decided on the back corner of the bus, hopefully out of view and out of mind to anyone else joining them.
They fell into each other swiftly in the bench seat along the back window, getting comfy and situated for the two hour drive ahead of them, which would then be followed by almost another hour of plane travel. It certainly would be a long journey to get to the next island, but at least now they had some cash in their pockets, a plan in mind, and each other at their sides.
Ed’s hand found Stede’s first, gripping it tightly as the bus finally began to creep forward and move out of the station and onto the bumpy road, relief washing over both of them at the feeling of finally being in a secure place where they could rest and recuperate to prepare for the rest of their adventure. Finally, they felt like they had successfully escaped their town and were on their way to the capital.
On the bus, Stede insisted that Ed take a nap while he could, and Ed didn’t need him to ask twice to agree. Exhaustion took over quickly, and he slept most of the way to Bridgetown, Stede watching over him peacefully slumbering the entire time.
In the bustling capital of Barbados, Stede and Ed made their way eagerly to the airport shuttle, and through the busy airport traffic to the passenger drop off. They purchased tickets for the next flight to a nearby city called Castries, and made it through security checks easily with just a single book bag and their shoes.
Before they knew it, the two of them were boarding their flight out to the capital of a neighboring island called Saint Lucia, hope heavy in their hearts that this may be their final destination for the foreseeable future – hope that maybe they would get lucky, and be able to stop running in peace.
The plane was small and just a little cramped, but the two of them still had each other and that was what really mattered the most. Although they were nervous about flying, it was exciting to think that they were embarking on the journey to begin the rest of their lives together.
On the plane, Stede turned to Ed with his eyebrows knitted together, scooping his hands gently into his own.
“I’ve never been on a plane before,” Stede admitted quietly, a sheepish grin on his anxious, quivering lips.
Ed chuffed, tightening his grip on Stede’s hand as the pilot was announcing they were ready for takeoff.
“There’s nothing to be scared of,” he assured gingerly, lifting their hands and kissing each of Stede’s knuckles carefully. “It will barely be an hour, and I’m going to be right here the entire time.”
Stede nodded hesitantly as the plane began to move, finding himself gripping even tighter onto Ed, so much his knuckles were turning white.
“I’m gonna need that hand,” Ed reminded him softly with a chuckle and a wince, “D’ya mind giving it a little blood flow?”
Loosening his grip considerately, Stede nodded and apologized quietly, leaning in just a little closer so he could feel more of Ed’s warmth in the seat next to him.
The speed of the aircraft was beginning to pick up, the faster it moved the quicker Stede’s breathing heaved, and Ed adjusted so that he was the only thing in Stede’s line of vision, calm and collected as he kept their eye contact focused and locked.
“Just look at me, and breathe,” Ed was instructing, taking in a deep breath through his nose, and then releasing it out his mouth, motioning for Stede to follow along, which he did. Together they breathed for a few moments while the aircraft gathered momentum.
Once the plane was finally taking off and lifting into the air, Stede was breathing normally and barely noticed them going up until the moment his stomach dropped, causing him to almost collapse against Ed’s strong grasp.
“I’ve got you,” Ed comforted softly, his free arm wrapping securely around Stede’s shoulders and pulling him as close as their seatbelts would allow. He leaned down and placed a long, loving kiss on top of Stede’s strawberry blonde curls, continuing, “You should try to rest, it’ll make it much more bearable for you. We’ll be there before you know it.”
Stede pressed his cheek to Ed’s warm chest, his heartbeat thumping against the walls of his chest and giving Stede another thing to focus on other than the plane. He nodded at Ed’s offer to return the favor of watching over each other along their journey.
“Thank you, Edward,” he murmured against Ed’s slightly dirty shirt, not caring in the slightest about the state of it or any of their clothes at that point.
The hum of the plane, the heavy thump of Ed’s heart, and his own quiet breathing willed Stede to sleep quickly, reality making its leave once again.
His mind beckoned him deep into a nightmare, and he was far too exhausted to ward it off. For months his dreams had consisted of sunlight and happiness, always revolving around Ed. This nightmare too revolved around Ed, but consisted of opposite traits, filled with vivid memories of the beach, only this time Ed’s father was turning around faster, the boy beneath him completely motionless, taking Stede down next swiftly with all of his might.
With a gasp and a jolt, Stede awoke from his slumber on the plane in a fit, Ed’s strong embrace and the seat belt around his waist keeping him locked down in his chair as he frantically examined his surroundings, realizing where they were, and that it was all just a dream. His chest heaved up and down, wild eyes finding Ed, who was holding him still and staring back with even more worry.
“Stede, hey, it’s okay,” Ed comforted quietly, trying not to draw attention to them from other passengers and shushing him softly. “Stede,” he repeated, this time lower, more firm; confident. “We’re not there anymore, mate. We’re far away from all of it now.”
Eyes locked with Ed, Stede was desperately catching his breath, gasps turning into deep breaths through his nose just like Ed had shown him earlier at the reassurance.
It had been barely over a half an hour since Stede had drifted off, but Ed was the one who had shaken him awake after he had heard him mumbling and begging for his life in his sleep against his chest. He knew exactly what he was dreaming about, and wanted to try and pull him out of it if he could.
Stede slowly felt himself relaxing once again as he stared into Ed’s comforting dark eyes, sighing heavily and wiping a bead of sweat away from his forehead.
“I’m so sorry,” he blurted, shaking his head back and forth, but Ed did the same in his disagreement.
“You have nothing to apologize for. Just breathe, relax. We’ll be landing soon,” Ed reminded, never once straying his focus away from Stede.
Pressing his forehead against Ed’s, Stede nodded slowly, shutting his eyes but quickly opening them back up almost immediately at the images suddenly appearing behind them.
Shaking, Stede managed a “Thank you, I’m okay,” before they sat in continued silence together, awaiting their long anticipated landing, somehow patiently and impatiently all at once.