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Carrying the last box from his car, Steve let out a sigh of relief as he pushed into Dustin’s room – hopefully for the last time that evening. They’d been diligently working on getting him moved in since the hot part of the day and Steve was drained. After a hard practice in the morning and tons of boxes lifted, he’d about reached his limit for brotherly love. Snorting at the thought, Steve silently berated himself – it’d been proven time and time again that he’d do anything for Dustin; continuing to deny the truth made little sense.
If it weren’t for the sticky drag of fatigue weighing him down, Steve would’ve been jumping for joy – he’d been impatiently waiting for his little brother to join him since he first left Hawkins. Steve surprised the entire Harrington family when he announced a scholarship opportunity at Purdue University. While his relationship with Nancy Wheeler didn’t work out the way he expected, the newfound focus for the things that actually mattered she elicited in him did Steve a load of good. Instead of letting Tommy drag him down, Steve put his nose to the ground and worked hard – getting a full ride to play basketball was a goal hard earned. He was so ready to get out of the only place he’d ever known. Mostly, anyway.
His favorite person on the planet, the snot nosed little brother Steve never really wanted, kept him coming back to Hawkins. Each holiday and summer vacation, Steve dutifully went back to his hometown to be there for Dustin and all of his antics. Despite hating the town, Steve enjoyed his time with the ragtag group of humans Dustin deemed worthy of his time. All of the sudden, learning about D&D and fantasy lore was entertaining and important. By removing himself from the place literally sucking his soul from his body, Steve learned a deeper appreciation for the only person worth coming back for.
The happiest day of Steve’s life was when Dustin declared his intention to join Steve in West Lafayette. Steve had developed a decent life during his time at Purdue – the only thing that was missing was Dustin. Having the kid there with him eased the throat clenching need to ever return home. If he was lucky, Steve would have Dustin convinced to stay exactly where they were by Christmas.
A sharp thump against his shin brought Steve out of his head – he’d ran right into the one chair Dustin had in the room. Hanging onto the box in his hands was a trial for a second, he bobbled the edges as a burst of pain blossomed in his lower leg. He sighed loudly, then got his shit together just in time. Dustin came around the corner with an amused look on his face and empty hands.
“I’ve told you how much I appreciate your help, haven’t I?” Dustin asked with a wide toothy smile. He took the box from Steve’s hand with a quick shrug of his shoulders. “You’re the best big brother, Stevie.”
Grunting at the childhood nickname, Steve shook his head at Dustin’s attempt to butter him up. They both were well aware of Steve’s inability to say no; Dustin had taken advantage of that fact more times than either could count.
Glad to finally be free of expected manual labor, Steve took a seat in the chair that’d just tried to take him out. It was heavy duty and customized to Dustin’s specific standards – it took them an entire summer to save up for the parts and put it together. Steve felt a distinct sort of satisfaction whenever he saw it (except for the times it tried to lay him out – which, surprisingly, there were many). That was the first time in Steve’s adult life he’d been able to selflessly give Dustin something he’d really wanted.
After tearing up for the twentieth time that day, Steve realized he’d been far too deep in his feelings. The residual emotions clinging to him were starting to be nausea inducing (and slightly embarrassing). Spinning in the chair, as if the move might fling them off, Steve took a look around the small dorm room. Since Dustin’s group was unable to do anything on their own, the empty half of the room would be occupied by Lucas Sinclair in a couple of days. Both Will and Mike were slotted to be in the room across the hall.
Steve already knew it’d be a lot like the old days – despite all of them being grown up, some things never really changed.
Dustin’s voice from the small kitchenette pulled his attention away from the only poster Dustin bothered to put up on the wall so far – the Hellfire Club he’d come up early for had a cool logo and would soon be plastered all over Dustin’s everything. Steve smelled the beginning of another one of his brother’s obsessions. Smiling, because he appreciated the nerdy little shit, Steve turned his attention to Dustin’s prattling, managing to pick up on his latest train of thought. “I’m glad you’re not in the busy part of your season yet. Since I’m up here early, we’ll get to spend some good time together. With Mike, Lucas, and Will, too.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” Steve admitted honestly. He took his mandatory summer class during the first part of the summer semester, using it as both an excuse not to go home and an opportunity to buy himself some freedom when Dustin got in. As a student athlete, Steve had to pick and choose the times he tried to take to himself. His season was long, and the academic expectations were high. Luckily, his senior year was going to be light – he’d be able to focus on basketball and the many adventures Steve knew Dustin was going to drag him into.
And so, the summer flew by exactly as Steve figured – he went to workouts and got his ass kicked, then met up with Dustin. Usually with the rest of the crew, but sometimes just the two of them. He learned way too much about West Lafayette and saw movies he probably never would have without Dustin around. It topped any of the summers he’d spent in Hawkins, and he hadn’t needed to travel further than a fifteen-mile radius.
He enjoyed his time so much that Steve mourned the freedom as the semester started. While he was only taking four courses instead of his usual five, official practice began, too, absorbing the extra free time Steve might’ve had.
Aside from Dustin, who pushed into the busy hours of Steve’s day regardless of his workload, Steve had one thing, a secret thing, that kept him going. The one throw away class that Steve’s advisor threw him in to fulfill his final elective credit had the cutest human to ever exist within it. Every Tuesday and Thursday, Steve pretended to pay attention while he stared at dark curly hair and an obnoxious Dio jean vest. The guy had a lot of opinions and seemed to be a little too interested in the subject while Steve was still unsure what Ancient Civilizations actual was. In a lot of ways, Steve’s crush was starting to become a pretty decent distraction.
And it would have stayed that way, a simple distraction, if it weren’t for Dustin’s meddling. One late evening in October, Steve was late in the gym shooting foul shots. He’d been a little stiff in his rhythm throughout the week’s practice and wanted to get a few extra in. They were starting to feel fluid when Steve suddenly realized he had somewhere he needed to be. Looking at the clock, he rolled his eyes at the lateness of the hour. There wasn’t time for him to do anything other than slip on his warmup pants and leave the gym – Dustin would probably be waiting for him when he got there as it was. Sinking one more shot, Steve racked his ball, collected his stuff, and left the gym.
Upon stepping outside, he instantly regretted not having a shower or putting on warmer clothes. The night was cool and his skin prickled. To top it off, the drive over to the spot where Hellfire Club met wasn’t long enough for the heater to come to life. He shivered the entire way. Between his lateness and the desire to get warm, Steve unconsciously climbed out of his car and turned towards the building, beelining it to the entrance with his head down. He was a handful of steps away from the curb when he came in contact with a solid mass. The ‘umph’ that followed the hit told Steve it was another person he collided with.
Managing to get his balance back pretty quickly, Steve reached up to hold on and steady the person he ran into. When there were no signs of any sort of toppling over, his focus shifted. Steve took in brunette curls and smile lines he’d traced endlessly in his distracted classroom daydreaming. It made zero sense that Dustin hadn’t mentioned Eddie Munson as a person in the group, his brother prattled on about everyone. They talked about the campaigns and meetings more than enough, too.
Of course, Steve hadn’t mentioned anything about Eddie (or his massive crush on the rocker), so maybe the absence of information did make sense. Steve wanted to keep his feelings a secret, had even gone out of his way to do so. He couldn’t suddenly blame his own failure to share on anyone but himself.
Nonetheless, he had a body check to apologize for and fleeting words to grasp onto to do so. “Shit man, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going!” Steve exclaimed, looking sheepishly at Eddie before dropping his hands and stepping away. A shiver ran through him – Steve immediately missed their closeness.
Brown eyes took Steve in as the situation was processed. Many people would have been stoked to have a basketball player groveling for forgiveness – for some reason, the hoopers were well sought out after on campus, beating out the football players for the title, even. Steve never understood the hype and thanked whatever was above that his interests lied elsewhere. Though, no one but he and Dustin actually knew that. And maybe Eddie Munson, too – Steve had spent way more than enough time staring at him. His actions lost their subtlety around the second week of September. Yet, or maybe because of that fact, Steve still hadn’t gotten up the courage to shoot his shot; and probably never would now that he’d gone and made a complete fool out of himself.
Brought out of that mind numbing spiral by a snort of laugher, Steve looked over to find Eddie with his head thrown back, like the entire situation was hilarious enough to warrant such a chuckle. The sound of it was deep and rich, melodic in the way it resounded in Steve’s ears like a song he wasn’t going to be able to get out of his head anytime soon. It was infectious, too. Steve couldn’t help but laugh himself.
“So you really are Harrington’s brother, then. I swear, when he told us about some adorable jock who drove him around, we didn’t believe it. I didn’t, at least.” Eddie looked at him square on then, a sparkle of mischief radiating from his beautiful doe eyes. “I always figured he said you were some stud athlete to boost his perceived coolness. Never mind the fact that I’ve never been all that impressed with the ability to throw a ball into a basket.” There was a wink thrown his way before Eddie started to circle around him, effectively breaking what had become heady eye contact.
Better able to think now, Steve said “it pays the bills” in his own attempted defense – though, he knew it was no use. He’d gotten more than one talking to about his obvious conformity to the establishment. It’d been Dustin’s favorite topic since arriving at school, in fact. And if that establishment wasn’t paying for his college tuition and room and board, Steve might’ve jumped on that line of thought, too. The demands and expectations they had for the people under their thumb were extensive and sometimes glaringly unattainable. When all was said and done, Steve wouldn’t remember much off the court that made the whole experience worth it. But, there was no real way to articulate that to Dustin or anyone else that already had an opinion formed. People saw his free ride as a way to single him out and make him feel other.
Too bad they were years too late for that.
Shockingly enough, Eddie merely nodded his head at Steve’s little quip. There was a brief feeling of understanding in the space between them then, like Eddie got the desperate need to take any sort of help necessary to get away and make a dream come true. Steve couldn’t help but smile at that realization – he’d been looking for any sort of sign that said Eddie Munson might actually be worth all of the attention Steve gave him. With that one gesture, Steve knew there was much more to Eddie Munson than he ever could have imagined.
“I’m here on scholarship, too.” Eddie had stopped his pacing as he spoke, turning back to look at Steve again. “I love maps. Making them, figuring out the little hidden things within them. D&D has a bad rep, but the game has taught me so many applicable, real world things. One of the fancy academics here caught wind of my skill and took me on as an intern. When I’m not hanging around these losers, I’m balls deep in dusty documents.”
Knowing he was getting something no one else was privy to, Steve took in every word. Steve had been dying to know what lied underneath the surface of the mysterious boy for weeks. Now that he’d been given his first inside look, Steve selfishly wanted more. The bad boy image, much like Steve’s own persona, sat overtop of the real person Eddie Munson genuinely was. Steve knew enough about hiding in plain sight to recognize others that did the same. He also understood that breaking through shells and into fortresses protected by years of acting would be difficult. Yet, from the looks of it, maybe worth it, too.
Steve was about to say something further, to add tidbits of his own story, when the shrill sound of Dustin’s voice broke through the wall of their conversation. “Stevie, it’s about time you got here!”
By the time Dustin was close enough to grab Steve’s shoulder in greeting, Eddie had taken a couple of steps away, creating some distance. Steve crinkled his brow at the other’s move before he could stop himself – had he just been imagining the developing comfortability seconds before? And while that particular moment was the worst to try and dissect Eddie’s actions, Steve couldn’t erase the brief look of confusion or the fact that Dustin saw it and made an immediate decision.
No one, not even Steve, knew that Dustin had been watching both of his favorite adults like a hawk. Dustin took in the way Eddie seemed to blush whenever he mentioned Steve’s name, and now that he’d seen his brother’s reaction to Eddie, there was no stopping his quickly developing plan. Steve’s happiness meant everything to him and for the first time in Dustin’s life, he might actually be able to contribute to it.
Steve was ignorant to Dustin’s thoughts as he tried to level his expression out to something recognizably normal. Eddie Munson drove him out of his head already – now that they’d actually met, Steve was certain the effect would only magnify. The happy sound of Eddie in the throes of enjoyment would haunt him. Steve could already easily recall the bunch of Eddie’s nose and the crinkle around his eyes when he laughed. With so much more distracting ammunition, Steve was unsure of how he might make it through the rest of the semester. While Eddie only posed a distraction on class days previously, Steve was now certain he’d be carrying the boy around with him everywhere, at all times. Desperation and want and desire just might kill him after all.
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Thankfully, things changed for the better after that impromptu meeting outside of Hellfire Club. At first, Steve saw Eddie starting to move up the lecture hall seats until they were sitting in the same row. After having to turn his head so drastically to actually see Eddie, Steve took the next step and sat next to him the following class period. Being that close to him, Steve didn’t need to stare obsessively – there were many other things to catalogue, instead. Like the way Eddie smelled (like cigarette smoke, leather, and cheap cologne), or the way he doodled bats and mythical creatures all over his notes. It didn’t take long for Steve to realize that Eddie’s complexities were just as nice to think about as his dark hair and entrancing eyes. For the first time in all of his love life, Steve actually cared about knowing the other person.
Which turned out to be a good thing, because Dustin took it upon himself to throw them together as often as possible. Steve didn’t notice it right away, because Dustin spent many weeks over the summer trying to recruit him for a D&D campaign. His pestering was nothing new. When Steve finally broke down and said yes, there was clapping and a lone tear on Dustin’s cheek – though, he had no real idea what actually made his little brother so happy. He listlessly went with the flow, instead. A flow that, after thinking about the many offers Dustin previously laid before him, could’ve had Eddie Munson in it long ago. His stubbornness to join cost him precious days of quality time, but Steve was in it now and more than ready to make up for the lost moments.
Luckily, Steve knew and understood all the rules of the game, fitting himself into the group seamlessly. No one needed to know that he’d used a bit of his monthly check to buy a lore book of his own – Steve wouldn’t have heard the end of it if he asked to borrow Dustin’s. And while he wouldn’t be able to have his customary end of the month dinner off campus, Steve was ecstatic to know his extra studying had paid off. At the end of his first evening with the party, Eddie actually seemed impressed. So much that he singled him out as everyone packed away.
Steve was seated right next to him at the large table still covered in empty Mountain Dew cans, so it wasn’t difficult for Eddie’s booming voice to reach him. “Color me impressed, Stevie,” Eddie said, loud enough for everyone else to hear. Ever since Dustin laid that nickname on the table, everyone used it – including Dustin’s punky little friends (who usually got a body slam or wedgie from him in hopes of curbing the behavior). Eddie in particular seemed to like the way it sounded, too. Every time he used it, Steve had to stifle a smile – he’d give anything to hear Eddie say it again, and again, and again. Though, no one really needed to know that.
Pushing that thought away quickly, Steve turned in his seat, easily forgetting the papers he was trying to put away in favor of taking all of Eddie in. “You can’t live in the same place as Dustin for so many years without picking up on some of this stuff.” Steve shrugged his shoulders, like it was truly that simple. “It doesn’t hurt that you’re a way better dungeon master than Mike ever was.” At that, the mentioned boy made a noise of protest. When no one chimed in to back him up, Mike shoot Steve a withering glare. “Sorry, Mikey.”
Eddie looked even more entertained after that exchange. “So I’m the reason for your developing skill. Hmm. I could come to like the sound of that.” He stopped speaking for a second to duck down below his DM folder. The next time Steve heard his voice, Eddie’s tone was low and soft, like the words were meant for only Steve to hear. “You and your level twelve ranger are welcome in this party anytime you’d like, Steve Harrington. Welcome to Hellfire.”
Steve left that day feeling larger than life and that feeling stayed with him as practices turned into scrimmages which then turned into games. The approaching home opener usually made his stomach quiver with anxiety – this year, however, Steve felt whole and excited, like he could take on anything thrown his way. Gaining confidence from a dice game didn’t make any sense but allowing himself to give Eddie all the credit wasn’t all that smart, either. They were forging a friendship, there was no denying that. The extent and intensity of it… well, Steve was still trying his best to understand and gauge. He couldn’t allow the deep feelings of his own to cloud his judgement about something that was becoming very important to him. It would serve him better to wait for a sign from Eddie, but the anticipation was slowly killing him.
On the evening of his home opener, Steve was shocked to see Eddie in the stands. While Dustin and his crew were always there (even at his thrown together pre-season scrimmages), Eddie’s presence was a surprise. None of the other, older members of the group were there, so why was Eddie? The familiar flare of hope that started to bubble up any time Eddie did something amazing gathered in Steve’s chest. What if Dustin didn’t have to work all that hard to convince Eddie to come? And if that was the case, what exactly did that mean?
There wasn’t enough time to answer any of those questions, so Steve tucked his head down and did his best to focus on the game. For the first time in the entirety of his career, Steve had someone in the stands he actually wanted to impress and a tongue-tied version of himself just wouldn’t do no matter how distracting even the sight of Eddie Munson was.
Aside from a couple of brief glances into the stands, Steve was able to keep his shit together and play incredibly well. Finishing off the game with a triple-double gave him the courage to bypass a shower and excitedly head out of the locker room long before the rest of the team. He was eager to see his brother and to hear what Eddie might have to say. Despite not having the taste for sports, Steve knew Eddie was an intelligent guy – he’d recognize talent without having to understand anything about the game being played – at least, Steve hoped he would.
His worries were unfounded – Steve was embraced by all of his fans (Eddie included) the very second he reached them. Dustin gushed about the three pointer Steve hit right by where they were sitting, talking a mile a minute about the kind of sports excellence Steve showed each time he played. The rest of Dustin’s crew chimed in with similar comments, though Steve wasn’t paying them much mind. He’d locked eyes with Eddie, who seemed to be attempting to suppress a happy smile. Steve wasn’t sure how long they stood there staring at each other, but when he looked up, Dustin and the boys were gone.
“Do you ever think that Dustin is master planning beneath our noses?” Eddie asked after making the same realization Steve had. His lips were finally quirked in that heart stopping smile and for a second, Steve let himself get lost in the sight. He’d asked himself the same question when Dustin continued to press about his Hellfire Club attendance. Steve counted himself lucky for the opportunity and let it slide, but now that it was out in the open, noticeable for even Eddie to see, it needed to be discussed.
“He hasn’t been all that sneaky about it,” Steve said in answer. “He’s never been sneaky about any of the plans he makes.” Steve couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from his lips at the thought – Dustin dreamed big and planned even bigger; Steve came to accept what that meant for him many, many years ago. It was interesting to see it happening with someone else, though – most of Dustin’s energy was used to make Steve’s life a little more interesting. If it were anyone else, Steve might’ve even been a little jealous. He’d always been Dustin’s hero – sharing the spotlight with anyone but Eddie might not have been all that palatable.
At Steve’s admission, Eddie looked a little sheepish. “I think he might have gotten the wrong idea. The boys found out that I’m gay – “
Steve stopped listening after that. The word gay ping ponged back and forth in his head – it’d been such a long time since he used it for anyone but himself, hearing it said aloud was almost overwhelming. Steve refused to keep himself hidden because of the type of person he loved, he truly did. Yet, the opportunity to show pride in who he was had never arisen. Aside from Robin, who still bothered him from time to time, Steve hadn’t ever met another gay person. Now, not only was the object of his affection starting to come around more, but he was gay, too.
“You’re gay?” The question popped out of his mouth before Steve could wrangle it back in – he hadn’t kept up with Eddie’s end of the conversation, so he had no idea what he’d missed or how rude the blurt actually was.
He watched Eddie’s brows furrow as the question sunk in. It looked as if Steve might’ve made a misstep – the sides of Eddie’s lips quirked in what could only be deemed a frown. “I am – is that going to be a problem?”
Letting out a breath, because the situation could be easily remedied, Steve shook his head. He brought his hands up in supplication, too, like the surrendering gesture would actually help. “It’d be pretty hypocritical of me.” Steve tried to smile through the nerves – aside from telling Dustin, Steve hadn’t spoken those words to anyone else. “He’s been trying to play wingman for me for years. My very best friend is a dating mishap that Dustin put together. Neither of us had the heart to tell him we both played for the other team, so Robin hung around as my girlfriend for a while. I finally came out to him last year when she met the actual person she wanted to date. Him throwing us together is totally my fault.” With a shrug, Steve continued – “I can’t say I’ve minded much, though. I like spending time with you.”
In his own nervousness, Eddie had taken a small piece of hair in his grasp to mindlessly twirl around his finger. Steve watched the adorable tick as Eddie worked to get himself back together. The process was tangible and slightly nerve wracking. Whatever Steve said that made the other so on edge, Eddie obviously wasn’t ready for. He blinked a few times at Steve before finally settling down. “That – was absolutely not what I thought you were going to say. I – is there a chance that I’m currently dreaming?”
Unable to stop it, Steve’s lips split into an almost manic grin. Eddie’s reaction wasn’t one of disgust or disappointment. For all of the worrying that Steve had been doing, it seemed as if it was all for not. Eddie’s nerves and the swift swing of the conversation meant the other boy had a little bit to lose from this exchange, too. Could it be, after so much time pining and wondering, that Eddie felt the same way, too? When all was said and done, the only thing left for Steve to truly do was step off the edge of the cliff and jump – hopefully, he wouldn’t land face first in the dirt when he eventually hit the ground.
“You aren’t. It can’t be that much of a shock – I haven’t stared at anyone or anything else in Donahue’s class all semester.” Steve allowed the threatening blush to overtake him as formerly unspoken words left his mouth. It was both exciting and embarrassing to admit to his pining. Though it wasn’t quite a full out confession, Steve could say he put some of his feelings on the table. That was a step in the right direction.
Of course, Steve wasn’t prepared for the worrying moments it took for Eddie to swallow what he’d been told and then process it. The doe eyes that Steve liked to stare into were wide and hazy, filled with what seemed like confusion and mystery. He stood still in a way that made Steve want to grab him by the shoulders for a swift shake. Eddie spent every second moving – Steve saw him in enough environments to know that truth. Seeing him so still made his heart ache a little – had Steve broken him?
Thankfully, Eddie was back to his twitchy self a few moments later. His previously immobile face broke out into a wide grin, the brown of his eyes glistening in the terrible overhead lighting of the gym. He stepped forward until they were practically sharing breath, then reached up to grab Steve’s still bare shoulder. “We should hang out without your little brothers prompting, then, Stevie. I have a single in the upperclassmen’s dorms.” Eddie’s invitation was laced with excitement and the subtlest wiggle of dark eyebrows – Steve was absolutely powerless against it.
Unable to do anything else, Steve eagerly nodded his acceptance and followed Eddie out of the gym.
That particular twist of fate made the following weeks soar by. Between class, basketball, and sneaking extra time to spend with Eddie, there weren’t many free moments making the days seem slow. When Dustin found out about the success of his plan, he let Steve off the hook of Friday night hangouts and Sunday night rides to the movies. His little brother was so excited by his rightness, Steve managed to get more time to himself than he usually had when Dustin wasn’t around. It looked as if Steve wasn’t the only person rooting for his relationship with Eddie.
But that was the thing – despite all of the great things happening in his life, both with Eddie and beyond, Steve was still stuck trying to figure it all out. He and Eddie spent so much time together, it was hard to unstick them from each other when the time called for it. They watched movies and debated music in the small space of Eddie’s dorm room. When at Steve’s place, they huddled in the corner of his tiny bed and did their best to ignore Steve’s roommate. Arms and legs tangled together as Steve and Eddie got closer and closer each time they existed in the same orbit – yet they’d talked no further about what they were or how to define their time spent together.
More often than not, Steve felt the most confused right after he and Eddie split ways. They were so close that neither hesitated to pull the other in for a hug or the customary arm around a shoulder. Eddie clung to him when they were pressed together, and his big brown eyes always stared at Steve’s lips. When Steve thought they might finally come together, Eddie would blink and pull away, like the move didn’t cause both of them whiplash every time it happened. Steve thought he’d be okay if Eddie just wanted to be friends (though, he was absolutely kidding himself each and every time he allowed that possibility to pass across the forefront of his mind) but the not knowing was what was truly killing him. On one hand, he wanted so badly to know whether Eddie needed him too – he dreamt about it constantly, even. On the other, Steve was afraid – losing Eddie (in any way at all) was the last thing he wanted.
Steve had never been all that good at being patient, though. When he wanted something, trying to wait around to see what happened never really worked for him. That was why he didn’t do double tape movies – there was too much time to fill between finding out about the problem and learning of the solution. As the days past and his patience was tested, Steve became more and more antsy. So much so that one day, he finally snapped.
They were in Eddie’s room after a particularly exciting campaign victory when Steve accidentally invaded Eddie’s space with his crampy legs. He’d been perfectly fine one moment, curled up by Eddie’s side, then completely overtaken by a painful calf spasm the next. In pain and unable to do anything else, Steve straightened both his legs – to do that, he had to throw them over Eddie’s. If he sat up or moved at all, Steve was afraid his entire body would’ve been taken over by achy, firing muscles. He was fine in moments but suddenly taken aback by the position he unwittingly put himself in. If he turned at all, Steve would be in the perfect position to finally press his lips against Eddie’s. The huff of breath he heard on the other side of him said that Eddie realized that, too. There was a beat of silence, then a desperate shuffle to be as close as possible.
Steve held his breath until he felt the teasing trail of Eddie’s fingers up his arm. Releasing all of his pent-up worries, Steve reached up to palm Eddie’s cheek – the other’s touch gave him the courage to finally take a risk.
He sighed in relief at the first touch of skin on skin. Ever since they started to get closer, Steve wondered what Eddie’s pale cheeks would feel like under his fingertips. What, after months of growing it in, the small bit of facial hair Eddie had would do to him when he finally got to touch. In all of his wildest fantasies, Steve hadn’t gotten the softness or texture right. Just Eddie was intoxicating – having access to bare skin couldn’t be good for him. Steve was already seconds away from being dragged under.
And under he went. Steve took in every inch that he could with excited haste. The quickness of the move had Eddie laughing slightly. “That tickles,” he muttered as Steve traced both cheekbones and the length of Eddie’s nose. Steve’s eyes flashed with curiosity and want – finding out more about Eddie, even if it was his ticklish spots, never ceased to fuel Steve’s fire. Every new piece of Eddie was a thing to be treasured and remembered for the future – each one ignited the spark for more. Especially the way Eddie’s eyebrows wrinkled the second before Steve pressed forward and slotted their lips together – that was a sight Steve didn’t ever want to forget.
There was a small moment in time where neither of them moved – Steve shocked himself by finally being forward enough to make a move and Eddie, well, he just hadn’t reacted yet. Steve listened for sounds of contempt or distaste, but only heard the increase of breath and his own heartbeat in his ears. Panic started to settle in right before Eddie finally shifted and gave into the kiss. Looking at things later, Steve could’ve sworn he saw fireworks behind his eyes as Eddie finally kissed back. Their lips were perfectly made for each other, slotting together so well. With one slight tilt of Eddie’s head, the kiss deepened, and Steve lost himself.
His hand trailed down the side of Eddie’s face to settle on the long length of his neck. Steve gripped onto the skin there, tracing goosebumps and veins along the way. With so many stimuli becoming accessible to him, Steve had no earthly idea where to start, yet wanted everything all at once. He decided to try his hand at exploration – the tip of his tongue ran along the seam of Eddie’s lips until tongues were tangling and his restless fingers moved down the front of Eddie’s shirt, clenching at the fabric. Steve let his grip settle at the hem of Eddie’s usual Hellfire Club shirt for a time, teasing them both. The fast shift from nothing to a whole lot of skin was already so much, toying with a completely new avenue of touch felt so mystifying.
By the time Steve got up the courage to reach down below Eddie’s waist, both of them were moving and shifting against each other restlessly. Their kisses had turned into the tender sharing of breath and Eddie’s hands were clenching and clinging to whatever part of Steve’s skin he could reach. Nothing other than Steve’s arms had been touched, yet he was seconds away from implosion. The second he gripped the tangible evidence of Eddie’s excitement, Steve knew he was done for. He spent so much time wanting the boy below him that finally being in the moment was surreal – Eddie defied all of his expectations and they hadn’t even removed any of their clothes.
A gasping moan told Steve that Eddie felt the same way – his hips pushed up into Steve’s hand on their own accord. Despite the bulge being denim clad, Steve could feel the shape and heat of Eddie’s excitement. His chin dropped as a groan left his own lips. Eddie’s cock pulsed and throbbed beneath his touch, driving Steve absolutely wild.
The choked off “fuck Stevie” was what did him in. As Steve pressed down to cup Eddie more firmly, Steve felt a wet patch start to develop all while Eddie babbled and moaned, leaving Steve’s name for his last panted breath. Hearing Eddie call for him like that threw him over the edge without any warning. He gasped and pressed forward, sealing their lips together to stop unneeded words from tumbling out of Steve’s mouth as passion overwhelmed him.
They stayed tethered together by all their limbs for several long minutes after that. Steve traced Eddie’s lips with his tongue, learning their shape and size with inquisitive licks. Eddie bit into Steve’s bottom lip, exploring Steve in his own right.
Curled up with Eddie, satisfied and sedated, Steve idly thought he might be experiencing the best moments of his life.
----
Happiness followed him around for a while. After that night, Steve thought he understood exactly where they were at – for the first time in his life, another person meant more than anything else. Steve knew the word that most people attributed to the feeling but hesitated to say it – to himself or out loud. Saying it meant making the sentiment real and doing that left room for sadness and disappointment. Things were so good with Eddie; Steve didn’t want to jinx them. He was finally genuinely happy.
Which meant that everything had to go to shit. That’s the way Steve’s life went most of the time. It happened with Nancy, so why wouldn’t it happen with Eddie? They’d been delightfully stuck in a bubble of their own making for so long that outside influence felt foreign and scary. The only people that Steve let know about things with Eddie were Dustin and his friends. It’d been difficult to hide his crush from them – denying that Eddie was anything but his would’ve been impossible. Spending so much time with people that accepted them was blinding – when the real world came back into the picture, neither he nor Eddie was ready.
It was all Steve’s fault, too. He recognized the slip up the second it happened. It’d been a great day for him both on and off the court. Steve finished his last final that afternoon and went into the game feeling great. He added another twenty points to his season total during one of the most important games of the season – to think he’d be anything other than flying high was a mistake. But so was the large hug and kiss pressed to the side of Eddie’s cheek after the game. In his excitement, Steve forgot they were in a crowded gym full of people; teammates and fans alike stared at them.
Like the good flock that they were, Dustin and his crew circled around Steve and Eddie, but the damage had already been done. Steve didn’t feel any shame in loving Eddie or even about the people around him knowing. His personal opinion didn’t matter, though – Steve belonged to a team of people that were going to eat him alive.
When bad things first started to happen, Steve powered through them – he was lucky to have Eddie and that’s all that mattered. They spent a blissful two weeks together over the holidays where Steve had time off and Eddie made room for him in his small space. Their moments together were so beautiful, beautiful enough to erase the memory of stares and sniggers as they exited the gym. Steve came back from break on a high that was quickly punctured and ruined by teammates that were anything but accepting.
It didn’t matter that they called him a fag or threw the ball at his face, as long as Steve had Eddie, all the bad shit fell away.
Then, Steve got his ass kicked after practice. He’d been stupid enough to stick around to shower in hopes of arriving at a date clean for once– that singular moment of letting his guard down was his biggest mistake. The guys who’d been giving him the worst time crowded around him menacingly; he was still wet from the shower. No one hesitated to step into his space or to throw the first punch. He got the punishment he’d been expecting for weeks, taking it silently, with a sort of dignity that came with accepting fate he couldn’t escape. Afterwards, Steve slowly got himself up off the ground and dressed in his date night outfit. Eddie was still waiting for him.
The boy’s grief-stricken look when Steve approached created the first crack in Steve’s heart. Eddie ran up to him with tears in his eyes and a frown on his face. He wrapped Steve up in a hug before moving his touch up and down Steve’s sides, then around his back and chest. It took Steve a moment to realize that Eddie was trying to categorize his injuries. Stepping back from the fretting, Steve reached out to grab Eddie’s wrists, his grip on them tight. “Eddie, stop. I’m okay. It’s okay, baby.”
Eddie’s disgruntled gasp was the last thing Steve expected to hear. There was a second of desperate eye contact before Eddie pulled out of Steve’s hold. “You’re black and blue, Steve. This is far from okay. It’s my fault – they never would have known if it wasn’t for me.” Tears streamed down Eddie’s cheeks as he spoke. “I can’t, Steve – this is – you’re hurt… because of me.”
For the first time that night, Steve genuinely felt scared. His heart beat hard against his chest as Eddie’s words sank in. He took in the way Eddie had taken several steps back, how his eyes were looking around frantically. Steve found it hard to breathe – he had no idea what to do to make the situation any better. And though he’d never blame Eddie for anything, his boyfriend’s words weren’t wrong. It took a while for Steve to realize that was why Eddie said them. Steve couldn’t refute or deny the reason Eddie was choosing to pull away.
“Eddie, please. I’ve never cared. I fucked up and let myself be happy for just a second – that’s all. I refuse to be upset about a singular moment of enjoyment with the person I love.” Steve’s eyes widened – he decided to throw that word out at the worst possible moment and they both knew it. “There’s only a month left in the season. I can make it through four weeks knowing we’ve got forever together on the other side.”
Shaking his head, Eddie backtracked another couple of steps. His high tops made a screeching sound on the ground below him – almost like all parts of Eddie were taking part in the crumbling of Steve’s everything.
There was a creak and then a large shatter that Steve was sure only he could hear.
“I can’t, Steve. I can’t.” Eddie threw his hands in the air, an air of defeat consuming him. He gave Steve one last withering glance before turning around and quickly walking away.
Steve stood there for a while, staring unblinkingly at the spot that Eddie had just occupied. His bruised eye welled up with tears as he fought to keep it open. If he didn’t blink, maybe none of it would be real. It was, though – real. Standing in place wasn’t going to bring him back.
He wiped at the stray tears still leaking down his cheeks as he tried to desperately pull himself together. Steve knew he needed to get somewhere more appropriate to have an emotional break, though his feet were laden down and heavy with sadness. It took the thought of Dustin’s face to get him moving. The only thing that sounded good at the moment was a hug and toothy smile from his obnoxious little brother.
That thought was what kept him moving on his way back to the dorms. It was a game night, so the boys were back in their room. Steve wasn’t sure what level of sobriety he’d find them in, but at least they’d be where he needed them. Thankfully, when Steve knocked on the door, Dustin was there to meet him.
“Steve, what the fuck?” Dustin asked him as he stumbled through the door. Mike and Lucas were out of their chairs fast, meeting him and Dustin in the middle of the room before Steve could fully take Dustin’s words in. He blinked a few times before attempting to answer.
“A few of the guys from the team decided they didn’t want a fag sharing their locker room. I was stupid enough to stay after practice long enough for them to get me alone.” Steve wiped vigorously at his tears, trying hard to stop them in their tracks. “Then I went to meet Eddie and he – he – “ It was no use, Steve couldn’t even say the words – all that came out were tears, instead.
Dustin’s arms were around him almost instantly. He didn’t ask where Eddie was or dig for any more details. Dustin simply held him tight, letting Steve sob heartbreakingly against his shoulder. By the time that Steve found himself able to see through the tears, three other sets of arms were around him, too. No matter how much they idolized Eddie, Steve was family. The subtle reminder was exactly what he needed then.
Things following that night were – bad. It took Steve a while to bounce back enough from some of the bruises to call himself physically okay. And emotionally, well, he checked out from that pain pretty early on. Every part of him pulsed from the heartache, the throb of it much worse than his two fractured ribs. It took everything in him to get through the day, to find the will to finish out the season, to simply get up and exist. He thought getting dumped by Nancy was terrible, but this, knowing that something silly cost him so much, Steve just couldn’t handle it.
Luckily he was one game away from being rid of his basketball commitment forever. Sure, he’d have the stupid alumni stuff to attend to five years down the road, but the ordeal of being an athlete and having to live under the guise of what that meant, it was finally over. If it weren’t for the looming nature of his scholarship, Steve would’ve quit right away. He learned fast and understood the beating and its subsequent consequences for what they were. Instead, circumstance forced him to stand tall and finish out what he started. He could take pride in the fact that he didn’t run away (no matter how much he really, really wanted to).
Finally, his last game was upon him. Steve tried to hold his head high as he worked through warmups. It was the last time he’d ever play basketball at Purdue, the least he could do was find some pride in the fact. Yet, he found it difficult to stop himself from looking over in Dustin’s direction distractedly. He wanted so badly to see curly hair and a wide smile there, too. Steve looked forward to the raucous Eddie Munson made wherever he went. It made Steve feel important during a game people found silly. In a lot of ways, Steve came to rely on Eddie’s brand of support – so much so that he hadn’t played well since Eddie pushed him away. He was determined, though – Steve Harrington could get his shit together.
The game started well enough; Steve’s early season performance afforded him a starting spot and his lack of turnovers kept him on the court. He didn’t try to shoot or focus at all during offense, but Steve played decently enough. It felt a lot better to be on the court than it had in a while. Then, Steve heard a voice that he’d been dreaming about for weeks. The loud shout of “let’s go, Stevie” had him looking towards the stands and missing the pass coming his way completely. Blinking, because the ball smacked him square in the face, Steve was surprised to see a sheepish Eddie Munson staring right at him – the little shit seemed to be holding back a laugh at his expense, even. Steve didn’t even try to stop the smile that ripped across his lips. There was no stopping it.
The rest of the half and the one following that flew by – Steve hit shots and played hard, all because of that voice. He wasn’t completely sure what it all meant, Eddie showing up out of nowhere, but Steve wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He felt alive for the first time in weeks.
After the game, Steve spent just enough time in the locker room to listen to the coach talk about their winning season and change before he left that part of his life behind. Glad to be done, he took only his personal belongings and the white #4 jersey with him. As he walked away one last time, a pit of hope was starting to open up in his chest again. Steve never thought he’d be ready to move past this part of his life, but he finally got there and was excited for whatever came next.
Dustin must’ve understood what Eddie showing up meant because he made himself scarce pretty quickly. All of the kids gave him a fist bump or hug before wandering off to celebrate their own way. He watched them leave nervously, suddenly overwhelmed by the prospect of being alone with Eddie again. So much so that he turned to him abruptly – “let’s meet at your room. I could use a shower.”
With a look of understanding in his eyes and a knowing smirk on his lips, Eddie gestured over his shoulder, out towards the parking lot. “Just come with me, then. I drove the van tonight.”
----
The ride to Eddie’s was quick, the silence between them filled up with the soothing tones of Metallica. Somehow, despite the separation, the entire situation made him feel comfortable and safe. Just being around Eddie was the only thing that Steve needed – weeks apart did nothing but drive that fact home. If Eddie gave him any inclination that he wanted Steve back, there’d be no hesitation. By the time they pulled into the van’s usual spot, Steve had already made up his mind.
With propriety in mind, Steve kept a couple of feet between himself and Eddie as they made their way to Eddie’s dorm. The last time he was here, Steve was plastered against Eddie’s back, peppering kisses against pale skin as the older boy fumbled getting the door open. The plain black shirt Eddie now wore under his jean vest revealed so much of that area that the length of flesh seemed to be calling his name, teasing him, and adding to his already abundant confusion. Steve was half mad with want by the time Eddie opened the door and there were still words that needed to be exchanged.
Stepping foot into the all too familiar room was enough to sober Steve up. The space was cluttered with dirty clothes and smelled like pot and cigarette smoke. From what he learned about Eddie over their time together, the messy space was a couple steps above the boy’s usual limit. It looked like their time apart was just as hard on Eddie – at least, Steve’s wishful thinking wanted that to be the case.
Eddie flitted around the room as if he were reading Steve’s mind. He picked up a few of the food wrappers and randomly scattered clothes, mumbling to himself about tidying up. Steve watched with affection for a second before stepping into Eddie’s space and wrapping his arms around him. “I know how messy you are, Eddie. I don’t give a damn about any of the stuff on your floor. I want to know why we’re here, why you came tonight. Your laundry is the last thing on my mind.”
“I know, I’m sorry, Steve,” Eddie said, turning around in Steve’s arms as he spoke. “I fucked up and broke both our hearts. I don’t deserve to have my pain tangibly on display – I brought it on myself.”
Shaking his head, Steve brought his hands up to grab Eddie’s cheeks. “I know why you did what you did. I can’t tell you I wouldn’t have done the same thing if things were reversed. No matter how easy it is to me, loving you where everyone can see still isn’t okay to most. It was a good reminder to be careful, to protect the things that are invaluable and important.” He shifted until he could rest his forehead against Eddie’s and closed his eyes. “Are you still mine, Eddie?”
“I never stopped being yours, Stevie. I got scared and instead of sticking around to take care of you, instead of clinging to what we had – I ran away.” Eddie stopped for a second, sniffing lightly. “I never said it back to you, either. That I loved you.”
Steve blinked his eyes open in surprise; he’d spoken of love in a desperate moment – hearing anything in return never crossed his mind. Yet, there Eddie was, saying what Steve had wanted so much to hear. “I love you, Steve Harrington. I think I always have.”
There was nothing left for Steve to do but surge forward and kiss Eddie within an inch of his life. He shifted his grip from Eddie’s cheeks to the thick curls he missed so much. Eddie huffed against his lips before tilting his head to deepen the kiss. They pushed and pressed and tugged until Steve’s back hit the mattress so Eddie could settle across his legs. With a bit of space between them, Steve had a second to take in the view above him. Eddie looked strung out already – and beautiful in every single way.
Eddie didn’t give him much time to revel in the moment, however. His lips were restless against the parts of Steve’s skin on display. Nimble fingers gripped at Steve’s hair and clothes, tugging at them mindlessly. Things were moving so fast; Steve was totally overwhelmed in the best of ways. He forgot how good it was to be wanted by a wanton Eddie Munson.
Layer by layer, Steve let Eddie refamiliarize himself with Steve’s skin. Their shirts and shoes were first to hit the floor, followed closely by the sweatpants Steve pulled on and Eddie’s tight black jeans. The sound of the chain hitting the floor was like music to Steve’s ears – he missed everything about Eddie so damn much.
They eventually laid together naked, exchanging light kisses and demanding touches. Eddie was nestled deliciously between Steve’s legs, rubbing his pre-cum sticky cock against Steve’s stomach. It was obvious that things would progress into territory they hadn’t headed before, but Steve was loathe to let Eddie pull away. The only thing that allowed him to give Eddie the needed space was the thought of finally being one with the other boy. Steve wanted him to carve out a spot inside, one that only Eddie himself could fill.
“I want you,” Steve whispered as Eddie started to lick and kiss down Steve’s chest. The small prickles of Eddie’s facial hair against his skin was a welcome distraction – the warm suction and subtle rolls of Eddie’s hips was driving him mad. Steve’s cock pulsed and throbbed against his stomach; every one of Eddie’s smooth moves were just inches away, ghosting over where Steve needed it most – the damn tease.
Steve thought Eddie might not have heard him after a couple of minutes of purposeful silence. He knew Eddie could get wrapped up in things when the going got good. About to moan his desire again, Steve was stopped firmly in his tracks by Eddie’s piercing eyes. “I’m all yours, Stevie.”
Though the words were said with confidence, Eddie fumbled through grabbing the lube and a condom. His hands shook as he pushed Steve’s legs further apart and settled between them. Steve thought Eddie might spontaneously combust by the time he’d gotten the lube cap undone and his fingers coated. With a soft sigh and a light grip, Steve got Eddie’s attention. His fingers ran across the apple of Eddie’s cheek as he spoke “I can’t wait to feel you, Eddie. You’re the person meant to do this, babe.”
There was a beat of silence, then a firm nod from Eddie. He leaned down to press a hard kiss to Steve’s lips. “I love you, Harrington.”
“I love you too, Eddie Munson,” Steve said in return, his voice a little broken as Eddie started to trace his rim. He used Steve’s distraction to his advantage, Eddie’s finger pushed in so smoothly, Steve never noticed the usual burn. They’d done this before, fingered each other open during blow jobs and a couple of times on purpose. Though, it felt different this time around – Eddie was both gentle and firm, the obvious care for Steve guiding his touch.
Relaxing into the feeling, Steve lied back against the mattress and let Eddie take him apart. Every touch was like an apology and a promise all at once. Eddie was making up for the time lost while giving him intimate peeks into their future. It was intoxicating, driving Steve completely mad.
“I’m going to bust before you even press inside. I need more, Eddie,” Steve panted out after several minutes of three nimble fingers thrusting inside. He was split wide and ready for whatever Eddie had to offer.
He watched Eddie register his words, the other’s spine straightening as the implication settled. Big doe eyes were wide starting at Steve, lust and amazement glazing them over. “We can’t have that, Stevie. I’ve got you, baby.” With a wink, Eddie fumbled to open the condom packet and roll the rubber on. Settling the head of his cock against Steve’s rim, Eddie paused before pushing in. “Love you, Stevie.”
Knowing Eddie was trying to distract him, Steve leaned into the glorious words. He clung to them as his body was forced to relax around Eddie’s thickness – by the time that Eddie bottomed out, Steve had categorized the sound and cadence of Eddie’s muttered phrase. When the other boy stopped to give him a second to adjust, Steve reached up to wrap his arms around Eddie’s shoulder, bringing him close. “I love you, too, Eddie.”
A moment or so later, Steve rolled his hips up against Eddie’s, signaling his readiness for whatever came next. Eddie didn’t waste any time – thin hips pulled back until only the tip of his cock remained. Steve gasped in aroused surprise. Now that Eddie made space for himself inside, Steve was never going to be the same; just the one move already proved that. His surprise turned to desire as Eddie thrust back inside.
With each push forward, Eddie’s cock pressed more firmly against Steve’s prostate. The feeling was completely different than finger stimulation – Steve couldn’t recall ever feeling so completely out of his mind. It didn’t take long for their coupling to become about chased moans and shared pleasure. Steve moaned out Eddie’s name with every breath and Eddie answered with panted groans. Watching Eddie fall apart to the point of wordlessness was so much more than Steve ever dreamed it’d be. He didn’t need but one hard last thrust to cum all over himself.
“Oh fuck, Steve. That’s – that’s – oh fuck.” Eddie threw his head back a couple thrusts later, quickly following Steve over the edge.
----
Steve’s next conscious thought came many hours later. They were rudely woken from a sex drunk slumber by obnoxious knocking and eerily familiar voices.
“Eddie, you better work things out with Steve, or else!” Dustin’s shouted words completely pulled Steve from his slumber.
Then, Mike’s voice followed. “Yeah, Eddie – we’re tired of all of the moping around. You two are perfect together. Just get over whatever it is and get him back.” Those words, while obnoxious and unneeded, were heart stopping and sweet. Steve hated the boys for what they were doing and how they were doing it, but he couldn’t fault them for caring. Neither could Eddie as a sleepy ‘awe’ fell from his lips.
He looked up from his spot on Steve’s shoulder, shifting a little until they could share a soft smile. “Want to tell them or should I?” Eddie whispered. Leaning forward, Steve pressed a kiss to Eddie’s lips, his grin following him.
“Dustin, get the hell out of here. We’re about to start making noises I know you don’t want to hear.”
He and Eddie shared a look as silence radiated around them. Steve was about to shout again when the boys started to cackle. There was the sound of pushing and rough housing before the shrill tone of Dustin’s voice sounded again.
“Go get him, Stevie. We’ll see you guys at Hellfire later.”
And just like that, the world was set back to right. At least, as far as Dustin Harrington was concerned.