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For as put together as he seemed, even Bamba had his issues. Of course, he didn't let anyone know. He was strong. He didn't need to be worried over. He could handle his own problems.
But it wasn't easy. Especially when the nightmares came. They weren't as often as they used to be, but every once in a while he'd get one. Tonight's just so happened to be a bad one. One reminding him of the day he had lost all trust in everyone.
Bamba woke up with a gasp. He took in his surroundings to try and orient himself. He was in a tent. Right. Towa had complained he didn't want to walk anymore in the dark so they set up camp for the night in the woods.
Towa was asleep at the other end of the tent. At least he hadn't been woken up. The last thing Bamba wanted was to ever trouble Towa with his problems. The younger boy deserved to live as carefree as he could.
Bamba sat up and stared at the entrance to the tent. He kind of wanted to go out and get some air. So he did.
He sat down on a fallen tree not too far away and took a few deep breaths. He hadn't had this bad of a nightmare for a while. It threw him off a lot.
Bamba looked up at the sky. The stars were shining brightly tonight. Not a cloud to be seen tonight.
"Nii-san?" A tired voice mumbled.
Bamba looked over. Towa had gotten up and come outside. When did he wake up?
"Why are you up?" Bamba questioned.
"You woke me up when you left the tent." Towa replied. He took a seat next to him.
"Go back to bed." Bamba nudged him toward the tent.
Towa refused. "I wanna know why you're awake too."
"None of your concern. Go to bed."
"No."
"Towa."
"Not until you tell me~"
Bamba sighed. Towa wasn't normally this stubborn about knowing things. Especially not arbitrary things like this. Just what was up with him tonight?
Was it... did he not look put together right now? Did Towa see some residual emotions on his face from the nightmare? That was the only thing Bamba could think of to explain Towa's behavior.
"Why do you care so much?" Bamba questioned.
"Cause you look troubled. I wanna know what's wrong." Towa replied.
So that was what was going on. Towa picked up on his distress. What did he do about that? He didn't want to tell Towa anything. This was not something Towa needed to be burdened with. He could handle this on his own. Just like he always had.
"I told you. It's none of your concern. I don't need you to worry about me." Bamba tried to shut him down as gently as he could. He didn't want to make Towa feel bad about wanting to help or make it seem like he was annoyed by it. He just really couldn't tell him about this stuff right now.
"But-"
"I promise I'm fine. It's nothing serious."
Towa pouted at his rejection. "Will you at least come back in with me if I have to go back to bed? Or can I stay up with you without you yelling at me?"
"We can go back inside the tent." Bamba replied.
Towa nodded and got to his feet. Bamba took an extra second before he joined him. The two walked back into the tent.
Bamba laid back down on his bed and stared at the roof of the tent. He didn't have any desire to try and go back to sleep right now. His mind was too active for him to even fathom getting rest. There were too many thoughts going through his head.
His moment of peace was very quickly ended as he heard a lot of noise coming from Towa's area of the tent. He glanced over to see the boy was dragging his sleeping bag over to Bamba. Bamba sighed. Towa wasn't giving this up still.
"What are you doing?" Bamba asked.
"Can I stay next to you?" Towa asked in reply, though the answer wasn't going to matter in the end. Bamba knew Towa wasn't taking no for an answer.
"I guess so." Bamba shrugged.
Towa plopped down beside him. There was a smile plastered on his face. Bamba rolled his eyes. It was far too late to deal with this right now. He didn't have the energy to handle Towa prodding him more.
"Nii-san?"
"What?"
"I love you."
"I love you too. Now please go to bed."
"Cuddle?" Towa wasn't done yet.
"Fine..." Bamba didn't care enough at this point to argue with him.
The moment Bamba had turned onto his side, Towa was hugging him tightly. There was no time to even prepare for it. Towa had buried himself against Bamba's chest.
"Night, nii-san." Towa said.
"Goodnight, Towa." Bamba replied.
They fell into silence. Bamba closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. He might as well try even if he knew it was probably futile to do. Maybe he'd get lucky and it would actually happen.
"You don't have to pretend to be okay, nii-san."
Bamba opened his eyes. Towa hadn't moved from his position.
"I can tell something is bothering you. I've always noticed. You don't need to keep pushing me away. I wanna help." Towa continued speaking.
I don't need your help...
That was what Bamba wanted to instinctively say. He didn't want to make Towa deal with anything like that ever. He had to stay strong for him.
But... maybe it was a bad idea to keep all of these feelings bottled up. Having no one to talk to about anything wasn't the best. But he had to deal with it. He was strong. He didn't need help.
"Please, nii-san? Can't I help you like you're always helping me?" Towa didn't like his silence on the matter.
"It's my job to help you. It's not-"
Towa cut him off. "I want to make it my job then."
He really was being stubborn about this. Bamba was running out of ideas to get Towa to drop this. At this rate he'd have to make a compromise.
"I don't want to burden you with something like that. I can handle it on my own." Bamba stated.
"But do you want to?"
That wasn't the question Bamba had expected. He didn't want to have to handle all of this on his own. That was true. But, he also didn't want to make someone else deal with his problems either.
Towa sighed as he realized he wasn't making any progress. His grip on Bamba tightened more.
"Can't you let me help you... even just for tonight?"
"I don't see what you could even do to help."
Towa took a moment to reply, "I... don't know... because you won't tell me what's wrong."
Bamba sighed. This was just going in circles again.
"If I say I had a nightmare, will you be satisfied?" Bamba gave up. He wasn't going to get Towa to drop it.
"A nightmare." Towa repeated. "About what?"
"That is not for you to know."
Towa sighed in annoyance. "Fine... I can help with that though!"
"How?"
Towa shifted his position so his face was level with Bamba's. Bamba eyed him warily. He wasn't sure what to expect.
Towa kissed him on the cheek and then hugged him tightly once more. However, with this hug, he had moved so their positions from earlier were swapped.
It was certainly a new position for them. Bamba wasn't sure how to react. It felt awkward being on the receiving end for once. He had always been the one comforting Towa. This had never occured before.
"Goodnight, nii-san." Towa said, signaling he was not moving from the position.
"Goodnight..." Bamba replied.
It was hard to adjust to the sudden change. He wasn't very familiar with being taken care of like this. It had been so long since he had someone to look after him the way he did with Towa.
But somehow, this change seemed to be doing what Towa wanted. The thoughts of the nightmare had long since left Bamba's mind. There was finally peace inside his head. It made it easier to close his eyes and relax.
This wasn't something he'd ever want to have to repeat, but for one night, maybe it wasn't so bad to be able to let down his walls a bit. He had built them up strong and never let anyone tear them down in the slightest before.
If it had been anyone other than Towa trying this stunt, this probably wouldn't have worked. It was only thanks to the fact that he cared so much about Towa that he was willing to cave in a bit.
Hopefully Towa wouldn't try to push his luck too much more with all of this. He may have succeeded tonight, but this was not something Bamba was willing to repeat very often.