Chapter Text
Chan was pretty happy with his life. He had a job he loved, a nice apartment that didn’t take all of his money to rent, and a pretty decent group of people around him. What was there to complain about, really?
However. Chan felt as if there was something missing—something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
Chan stretched, cringing at the way his joints clicked and clunked with every move, finally managing to pull himself out of bed after lying and contemplating his life for far too long. He grabbed some clothes for the day and made his way into the bathroom. After a quick shower, he stood in the small hallway of his apartment, wondering whether he should go and make himself some breakfast or crawl back into bed for some sleep that he so desperately wanted.
Not wanting to be half asleep for the meetings he had that day, Chan decided to get some food.
There wasn’t that much of a choice and he should have known that. His kitchen cupboards were looking quite depressing with only one instant ramen packet left in one of them. Chan knew that he could definitely not stomach an entire serving of ramen, so just picked up an apple that was questionable at best. It didn’t taste too terrible, so he just decided to suck it up.
Flopping down on his couch, he pulled out his phone and began idly scrolling through his social media. There were still about 15 minutes before he had to leave for work, so he enjoyed them as much as he could.
Far too quickly, in Chan’s opinion, the clock on his phone read 8:00, and it was time for him to leave. He forced himself up off the couch and towards his front door. Slipping on his shoes, Chan patted his pockets to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything, picked up his bag, and headed out.
The walk to the train station wasn’t very long, but Chan enjoyed getting outside for a little while before he was inevitably going to be holed up in his studio all day.
It was nearing the end of summer, so it was still pretty warm out, but Chan could feel the slight chill of the breeze as he walked. It was still warm enough that no one was wearing anything even resembling a jacket, though.
The train station was packed, just as it was every morning. It wasn’t even rush hour and Chan was still having to somewhat fight his way through the crowds to get to his train in time. When he did manage to step onto the train, all of the seats were taken, so he was left to hold onto the handles and hope he didn’t make an absolute fool out of himself when the train started moving again.
Chan made it to his company building with about 20 minutes to spare before he was scheduled to meet with the first artist of the day. The company he worked for wasn’t massive, but they had a pretty good reputation in the industry if he did say so himself. Plus, it wasn’t the popularity of the artists he worked with that mattered to Chan. All he cared about was whether they were nice and respectful to him or not.
The day slipped by so quickly that it felt like one moment Chan was placing his bag down in his office, and the next the clock was reading half past one. How on earth did that happen?
Chan ran his hands down his face, his eyes feeling tired from staring at a bright screen for so many hours. He was going to be in the office late tonight, he could already tell. There was so much work for him to do that had been piling up over the past few days, there was practically no avoiding it at this point.
Deciding that he needed a break, Chan saved his progress and turned off his computer. He needed to stretch his legs a bit, so why not go and get himself some lunch from the cafe nearby? Staying an hour or two later than he had originally planned wouldn’t hurt anyone anyway.
The streets weren’t very busy considering that most people had already returned to work after their lunch breaks, so Chan was able to switch his mind off slightly as he walked down the familiar roads.
He soon arrived at his favourite cafe and walked inside. Chan greeted the barista and ordered himself a coffee and sandwich from the cabinet. He decided to sit outside as it was still nice outside, and began scrolling idly through his phone as he waited for his coffee. It didn’t take long for it to arrive, and he thanked the barista as they set it down on the metal table and headed back inside the cafe.
Chan found himself enjoying sitting outside the small cafe much more than he had expected. It was nice to get some fresh air, well as fresh as you could get while still in the middle of a busy city, and just watch the world go by.
The majority of the people walking past him were mothers with their young children, out for a walk while it wasn’t so busy. As they walked past him, Chan couldn’t help but smile at the curious looks on all the children’s faces as they took in their surroundings. Even the littlest kids in strollers being pushed by their mothers were looking around at the tall buildings on either side of the street. Chan found it adorable.
He had always liked kids, for as long as he could remember, but he had never even thought about having one himself. He definitely wanted kids, he just didn’t know when. He was always so busy with his work that he hadn’t even considered the fact that most people his age would already be planning out their future children.
As he walked back to the company building, Chan seemed to take extra notice of every child that walked past him. There was an odd feeling in his chest every time he saw one. It was…strange.
The rest of the afternoon passed without anything of particular interest happening. Chan had managed to finish recording one of his songs though, which meant that he could finally start working on putting it together, making it perfect.
It was around 1 a.m. by the time he actually left the company building, however, which meant that he wouldn’t be able to catch the train home. He wasn’t too upset about this though, it was probably good for him to get a bit of exercise after being hunched over his desk for so many hours.
As he walked, Chan let his mind wander, music playing at a slightly too high volume to block out the world—just as he liked it. For some reason, his mind somewhat immediately went to the topic of kids. What was with him today? Why did he keep thinking about kids? (In a non-creepy way)
Chan idly wondered what type of parent he would be. If he did have kids, he would want to give them the best childhood he possibly could, give them everything he didn't have. His parents weren’t bad by any means, no, they were just…busy. All the time. This meant that Chan was left to look after his two siblings a lot of the time, making it hard for him to actually go out and socialise with people his own age. Yeah, his social skills definitely suffered a bit because of that. No wonder he was so anxious and awkward when talking to people he didn’t know very well. He never really had that ‘typical teenager experience’ of going out and partying, becoming friends with anyone and everyone when you were completely plastered only to ignore them at school the following Monday.
Then, Chan got to thinking. If he did want kids, how would he even get them? He didn’t have a partner he had biological kids with, and he didn’t have any idea about how adoption worked. Perhaps that was something he could look into?
Wait.
Why was he thinking about this in the first place? There was no way Chan was ready to have kids yet. He was barely able to take care of himself and he was always away at work until ungodly hours of the night, kids shouldn’t even be on the table.
But…
No. Chan, you’re not ready for kids. Stop it.
———
The next few days went by pretty smoothly, Chan almost completely forgetting his slight baby fever from his walk home.
That was until his parents called him.
They called him pretty regularly, and he wasn’t complaining by any means. It was actually nice to talk to them regularly considering they lived about 12 hours away by plane.
“Hello?”
“Channie! How are you?”
“I’m alright, I’m alright. Works keeping me busy.”
“Oh, they’re not overworking you at that company of yours, are they?” Chan couldn’t help but roll his eyes at his mother.
“Don’t worry, Eomma. I’m the one who’s choosing to stay the later hours. It just works better—I’m more productive at night.” Chan heard his mother tsk him through the phone.
“Chan, your Appa and I are worried about that bad habit of yours. You need to make sure you’re getting enough sleep even if you have tracks to work on. Are you eating well? Taking care of your health? How many hours of sleep are you getting?”
“Yes, Eomma, I promise I’m completely fine. And I’m getting enough sleep. I can still function, so I’m fine. Anyway, that’s enough about me. How are you and Appa? Has Lucas managed to burn the house down yet?”
“You need to stop teasing your brother like that, he’s at university now, he can take care of himself perfectly fine.”
“Can he really, though?” Chan heard his mother chuckle through the phone.
“Your Appa is doing good, although he’s struggling with his mobility a little bit. Something’s wrong with his back so we’re taking him to the doctor tomorrow morning.” Chan frowned slightly.
“Is he okay?”
“Oh, yes, he’s absolutely fine. Just a little sore is all.”
Their call fell into a comfortable silence as the two of them both got on with their own tasks. This was a pretty frequent occurrence, Chan and his mother would call each other and just stay on the phone for hours as they went around doing chores. Chan currently had his phone placed just under the TV as he sat and folded laundry in his living room. It was nice—a routine he liked to stick to.
However, the silence was eventually broken by another voice coming through the phone.
“Oi, Channie-hyung.” It was Lucas.
“What?” Chan replied blandly.
“You could at least sound a little excited to hear me, Jesus Christ.” Chan rolled his eyes.
“What do you want?”
“Can I not just want to talk to my darling brother?”
“Lucas.”
“What?” Lucas asked in an innocent voice. Chan could just picture his face at that moment, a smug expression on his face as he held the phone to his ear, probably leaning against their kitchen bench or something.
“When are you going to come visit again? It’s been so boring ever since you moved.”
“Aww, do you really miss me that much? I was just over for Christmas a few months ago, it really hasn’t been that long, promise.”
“So you’re saying that you’re not coming back any time soon?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then when?”
“Dunno.”
“God, you’re so annoying.”
“That’s me.”
“At least make your next visit exciting, then.” Chan paused for a moment.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Oh, I dunnoooooo. Maybe you have a secret girlfriend you haven’t told any of us about.” Chan could hear his mother calling from the other side of the room “CHAN HAS A GIRLFRIEND?!”
“Lucas, I don’t have a secret girlfriend, I think you’re just projecting.” Lucas scoffed.
“Shut up.”
“Oh my god, you totally do. Tell me about her, come on, come on.”
“I don’t have a secret girlfriend, okay?”
“Sure you don’t.”
“I don’t!”
“Yup, sure.”
“Oh my god, you’re the most insufferable person on this planet.” There was a brief pause where Chan fell deep into thought.
“How would you feel about being an uncle?” he blurted out. There was a thud from the other end of the phone and Lucas swearing loudly, quickly followed by their mother telling him off.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Chan repeated himself.
“An uncle?! Chan, you just said you didn’t have a secret girlfriend then asked if I wanted to be an uncle. I think those two statements are a little contradictory.”
“No, it’s not like that. I just wanted to know what you thought.” There was a long silence.
“Mate, are you seriously considering having kids?”
“…Maybe? I mean I thought about it a bit while walking home from work a few days ago. I mean, nothing's set in stone but…I dunno, maybe it’d be nice to have a little person running around?”
“I feel like you should definitely be talking to Eomma about this and not me, but honestly, I say go for it. No idea where you’re going to get a kid, but as long as it’s not by kidnapping or anything, I’m all for it. As long as you let me give them Uncle Lucas weekends when they’re over.”
“Oh for sure.”
Not long after that, Lucas handed the phone back to their mom and Chan had a very long conversation with her about potential future grandchildren.
By the end of the call, Chan had made up his mind. He wanted kids. He wanted to have kids to care for and raise.
He spent the rest of the night researching as much as he possibly could about how adoption worked where he lived and the sort of things he could do. For some odd reason, Chan felt drawn to fostering, so he went down that rabbit hole as well. It was interesting to look at all the criteria and what he would have to do if he was actually going to go forward with this.
Chan decided to take a few days to think about this seriously, then make up his mind.
Before he knew it, he had found a fostering agency near enough to where he lived and he was collecting all the necessary documents.
As you’d expect, there was a lot he had to do to actually become a foster parent. He had to have a police background check, provide full proof of identity, provide a full medical report from his doctor, get a few referees, and have god knows how many interviews, along with much more. It was exhausting work getting everything ready, but Chan knew it would be worth it in the end.
He walked through the front doors of Attacca Foster Agency, hands shaking. He walked up to the reception and cleared his throat slightly awkwardly.
“How can I help you?” the lady behind the desk asked him.
“Um, I’m here to have a final interview for registering as a foster parent?”
“Can I get a name?”
“Bang Chan.”
“Ah, yes. Just walk through those doors to your left and wait at the end of the hallway. There should be a few chairs for you to sit on.” Chan thanked her and headed through the doors she had indicated.
What seemed like an eternity later, Chan heard his name being called.
He got shakily to his feet and followed a stern-looking woman into what he presumed was her office. He then sat in the chair she had indicated, clutching his papers close to his chest.
“So I understand that you should have all of your necessary documentation?” she asked him. Chan nodded, handing her the papers he was holding. She scanned through them, glancing up at her computer every so often to presumably double-check something.
Chan sat awkwardly in the chair, looking around the office to distract himself from the nerves building in the pit of his stomach. It seemed to take hours for her to read the papers, why did it take so long? What was so hard about reading 5 pieces of paper?
After what seemed like an eternity to Chan, the woman cleared her throat, and he quickly snapped his gaze back to her.
“Everything seems to be in order so far. I just need to ask you a few questions, if that’s alright.” Chan nodded nervously, trying to look as if he was sure of his answer.
She asked him a few questions about his home, his income, and other things like that. Chan didn’t quite understand why she had to ask these things, as all of them were on the papers he had just handed her but who was he to question anything at this point? She was the professional in this situation, he had no idea what he was doing if he was being completely honest with himself.
There was an uncomfortably long pause after the woman asked her final question. It seemed to go on forever to Chan, but he honestly doubted that it was more than 10 seconds based on the clock on the right-hand wall.
He couldn’t help but jump slightly when the printer behind the woman suddenly jumped to life, making all sorts of whirring noises as it printed off a simple piece of paper. The woman reached behind her and took the piece of paper, sliding it across the table to Chan along with a pen.
“All you need to do is sign right here, and everything will be formally processed.” Chan couldn’t quite believe his ears. He took the pen in slightly shaking hands and signed his name at the bottom of the paper. The woman took it back and scanned it once more before putting it on top of the rest of the papers Chan had brought with him. She then stood up, and Chan followed her.
For the first time since he had met her, the woman smiled.
“We will call you when we have a potential placement for you.” Chan couldn’t help but grin himself, bowing to the woman and thanking her profusely before leaving the office.
It didn’t hit him until he was driving back home that all of this was real.
He was going to be a foster parent.