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Do not let them know what kind of tea you prefer.
Never wear the same color twice in a row, no matter how much you like it.
They should never get a handle on you.
Hua Xiangyi has heard all this and more from her beloved aunt. She has to be the face of elegance and propriety. She must seem unreachable and untouchable. Third Missy Hua can never take the risk of seeming approachable.
Wearing your heart on your sleeve is akin to opening the city gates to your enemies. This harsh truth is even truer for women in noble clans, and most especially to those close to the Empress Dowager. Hua Xiangyi has always kept her aunt’s words in mind, and that is why she’s Qudu’s most beloved Third Missy Hua. No one really knows her aside from the image she portrays to the public.
Yet, in the presence of Qi Zhuyin, she has willingly allowed herself to be read like a book.
She tried to be subtle in public, but Hua Xiangyi knows that Qi Zhuyin would nevertheless understand her; the glances that are just a second too long, the lingering smiles before they part ways to do their respective duties, the late-night invitations to assist her regarding household accounts. The Commander-in-Chief has humored her every time. Perhaps she would even dare to say that her feelings are reciprocated.
The sudden breeze from the tent’s entrance informs Hua Xiangyi of Qi Zhuyin’s return. The Xiao clan’s Second Master borrowed her for a few moments, presumably to talk strategy about the upcoming battles. Hua Xiangyi has not left her seat since then.
Qi Zhuyin pauses at the entrance and lightly scratches her cheek.
“I may have prematurely told that kid something I shouldn’t have.” She says as she meets Hua Xiangyi’s eyes. Her tone sounds concerned, but there’s a hint of mischief in her eyes.
“About Qidong?” Hua Xiangyi asks. “Or is it something about Qudu?”
Qi Zhuyin takes only a few long strides before she’s in front of Hua Xiangyi’s seat. Hua Xiangyi’s hands are resting on the table, along with the rogue they used that hasn’t been cleared away. A reminder of what they were up to just half an hour ago.
“Hm, you could say it’s something about us.” She answers in a low voice.
Warmth spreads across Hua Xiangyi’s face. They haven’t really moved past anything but implied glances and thinly-veiled conversations, so it’s definitely a turning point now that Qi Zhuyin says something that’s more direct than anything they’ve ever offered each other.
“And what is that something about us that shouldn’t have been said?” Hua Xiangyi says as she pretends to clear the table. She notices her fingertips are still red from the rouge she applied on Qi Zhuyin’s lips. Before even thinking about it, her eyes dart up to those very same lips before focusing once again on the items on the table.
Red truly is her color. Bold and imposing, so easy to be enchanted by.
In the corner of her eyes, she sees Qi Zhuyin inching closer to her side of the table. She focuses on keeping her breaths even, but in doing so, she messes up her grip on the rogue she was putting aside. Her fingertips accidentally push on the soft surface, possibly ruining a perfectly good rogue.
A hand gently circles her wrist. Qi Zhuyin pulls Hua Xiangyi’s arm close to her chest, dragging her up from her seat in the process. Qi Zhuyin didn’t exactly put a lot of force into it, it was just that Hua Xiangyi was too stunned at the sudden contact and stood up without thinking.
Qi Zhuyin smiles gently at her before laughing. “Not very subtle, huh?”
She guides Hua Xiangyi’s red-tinted fingers to her lips. “Should we continue what we were doing?”
Hua Xiangyi holds her breath as she swipes her index finger over Qi Zhuyin’s lips. The warmth of her soft lips turns her thoughts into a blur. There’s barely any rogue on her fingertips, and she’s more or less removing the previously applied rogue rather than applying more. She doubts Qi Zhuyin is concerned about that, anyway.
Still, she keeps up this scenario. “Commander-in-chief Qi looks very daring in this color.” She whispers.
The commander-in-chief lowers Hua Xiangyi’s hand and leans in. Hua Xiangyi instinctively shuts her eyes closed.
After a few beats of silence, a puff of air hits her face as Qi Zhuyin chuckles. She opens one eye to see a smile as bright as the morning sky.
“Have you had any experience?” Qi Zhuyin’s face is so close that Hua Xiangyi can see her eyelashes flutter.
The question is as vague as can be, but she’s used to this kind of atmosphere between them. Hua Xiangyi smiles before answering. “I do.”
The answer surprises Qi Zhuyin. Her eyes widen as she leans away slightly, but her hand is still around Hua Xiangyi’s wrist.
“Really?” She asks. Her tone is not judging or colored in disgust. It’s a question of genuine surprise that makes Hua Xiangyi giggle.
“Just kisses here and there, with one of the noble ladies I used to be close with. It was so long ago when I realized I liked women.” Her heart beats even faster. She has never said it out loud, not even to herself. The palace has eyes and ears everywhere, and who knows what will happen to her and her aunt if it gets out that the revered Third Missy Hua is going against what is “normal”.
Qi Zhuyin hums in acknowledgment. She lets go of Hua Xiangyi’s wrist and pulls her by the waist with both hands to press their bodies together. She places a soft kiss on Hua Xiangyi’s ear before whispering.
“No matter, I’ll give you an experience much more unforgettable.”
Hua Xiangyi only has a split second to feel flustered at the words when her lips are caught between Qi Zhuyin’s own lips, soft but slightly dry from the rogue.
Although Hua Xiangyi said she was experienced, it might as well be an overstatement. She realizes that now as she tries to reciprocate Qi Zhuyin’s movements, as she attempts to match her rhythm and pace. She feels a pull on her lower lip, and she mentally prepares herself before she parts it open.
With Qi Zhuyin licking into her mouth and pressing her weight against her, her legs threaten to give out. She throws her arms around Qi Zhuyin’s neck for support, encouraging her to press in even further. Hua Xiangyi feels a numbness at the small of her back, which she tries to ignore in favor of the pressure she feels on her stomach.
Commander-in-chief Qi is so excited.
Fingertips lightly trace up and down the sides of Hua Xiangyi’s waist, making her shiver despite the layers of clothing in-between. When it grazes close to her chest, she feels the fingers immediately pull back as if shocked by static. Hua Xiangyi pulls away from the kiss and catches Qi Zhuyin’s retreating hand.
It was starting to get unbearably hot. She feels lightheaded and it seems like she’ll fall over at any second. Qi Zhuyin is looking at her with a hazy look in her eyes, her glistening lips slightly open as she catches her breath. Nothing could be heard except for their panting and the bustling footsteps of the men outside.
“You’re holding back.” Hua Xiangyi whispers.
Qi Zhuyin licks her lips and rests her head on Hua Xiangyi’s shoulder. “Because you’re Hua Xiangyi. Because you’re the Eldest Madam.”
Hua Xiangyi has broken a lot of presumed norms already by gazing too long at Qi Zhuyin on her wedding day. She has long ignored her aunt’s lessons by implicitly expressing her interest in Qi Zhuyin. She’s following her feelings for the first time regardless of the outcome.
She can’t name what these feelings are, she doesn’t understand where it’s coming from or where it will lead to. Whatever it is, she only knows it exists between Qi Zhuyin’s caresses and kisses.
“A-yin,” She talks in between pants. “I’m just a woman.”
She is not the Empress Dowager’s beloved niece, not the famous Third Missy Hua, not the Eldest Madam of the Qi Household.
Hua Xiangyi is just a woman who has desires just like anyone else. She loves the mild but sweet taste of White Peony tea. She likes to wear green, likes seeing herself in the various shades of nature. Most of all, she loves taking walks around the garden. The blossoming of spring flowers is a lovely sight that she wants to share with someone.
It can be a lonely and isolating feeling to live all your days as a closed book.
She takes a deep breath and gathers all her courage in the hand holding Qi Zhuyin’s and leads her away from the table. Just a few steps away is a small luohan bed that Qi Zhuyin insisted on bringing for the Eldest Madam’s comfort. Hua Xiangyi refused at first, not wanting to trouble anyone when she’s being invited to the military camp. Now she’s glad it’s here.
Her footsteps feel heavy from anticipation and anxiety. One could even say there’s dread mixed in there; dreading the reaction from Qi Zhuyin if she thinks this is too fast, dreading the uncertainty of the coming morning, dreading the display of vulnerability she had always hidden.
Qi Zhuyin squeezes her hand and stops walking to wrap her arms around Hua Xiangyi, chest flush against Hua Xiangyi’s back. Hua Xiangyi is conscious of the softness pressing against her. She really might just pass out right there.
“Even if I'm delighted by our Eldest Madam's enthusiasm, the sun will soon rise and the men will need me.” She whispers as she slides her arms under Hua Xiangyi, her hands hovering close to Hua Xiangyi’s chest. "I can't stay long."
Despite her words, Qi Zhuyin’s hands don’t stop moving. Her hands gently brush around her breasts, teasing her with light touches. She drags one hand upwards and stops at the midpoint of Hua Xiangyi's lapels.
"Can I?" Qi Zhuyin nibbles on the shell of her ear. Hua Xiangyi quickly nods.
Qi Zhuyin parts it open and takes a moment to admire Hua Xiangyi’s red silk undergarment. The thin fabric covers almost nothing. Hua Xiangyi instinctively brings her arms up to cover it up. Qi Zhuyin is faster though, her hands already dragging across her chest. Hua Xiangyi's breath hitches at the skin contact.
“So beautiful.” Qi Zhuyin whispers. Her hands slide in through the sides of her silk undergarment, leaving a trail of kisses on Hua Xiangyi’s neck as her hands go lower. As her breasts are squeezed and pushed together, calloused hands press into her skin– a reminder of Qi Zhuyin's fearless nature.
Hua Xiangyi is also reminded of her tendency to provoke people. Qi Zhuyin pinches around her nipple, just close enough to elicit sensation but far enough from it to leave you frustrated and wanting more. Hua Xiangyi groans, which makes Qi Zhuyin laugh– low and slightly raspy from arousal. The warm breath hitting Hua Xiangyi’s ears was the last straw. She feels her knees buckle as she loses her balance.
She almost slides to the floor if not for Qi Zhuyin’s quick and firm grip on her waist.
“Can we,” Hua Xiangyi is breathless as she holds on to Qi Zhuyin’s arm. “Can we at least move closer to the bed?” It was only a few steps away.
“Hmm,” Qi Zhuyin places a light kiss on her cheek. “I quite like seeing an unattainable beauty like this."
Qi Zhuyin pulls her up and turns her so they’re facing each other. She puts a hand against Hua Xiangyi’s back for support as she pushes a knee in between her legs. Her smile as she looks down sends a pull at the tight sensation in her stomach.Their height difference has never been more obvious to Hua Xiangyi as it is now.
Hua Xiangyi gasps, her hands flying to Qi Zhuyin’s shoulder. She squeezes and pleads once again, “The bed, please, A-yin! I’ll fall over...”
In the end, it was useless. Qi Zhuyin’s other hand slides upwards her thigh and pinches her. Hua Xiangyi’s breath quickens as it travels even higher. Qi Zhuyin’s hand is finally between her legs where she rubs Hua Xiangyi through her clothes. Hua Xiangyi lets out a moan, and the sound of her voice startles even her. To cover it up, she busies her mouth by pressing kisses on Qi Zhuyin’s collarbone.
It just isn’t enough, not with the thick fabric getting in between Qi Zhuyin’s fingers. Hua Xiangyi holds onto Qi Zhuyin’s shoulder and grinds forward, seeking out more friction. Her head is clouded with lust, unable to really register what she’s doing. She lets out a shaky breath and continues moving her hips at a steady pace.
She hears Qi Zhuyin take a sharp inhale, followed by her hands pausing in place.
“You…” Qi Zhuyin scoffs to herself. “You always test me.”
Qi Zhuyin pulls away and steps back. Hua Xiangyi looks up to complain, but pauses when she sees Qi Zhuyin, lips parted open, her hair sticking to her damp temples. The commander-in-chief is in such a mess. The sight is almost enough to fill a week’s worth of images for Hua Xiangyi to think of before she enters her usual dreamless slumbers. It’s almost enough for her to stop this and be satisfied.
Almost.
Before Hua Xiangyi could ask why she stopped, Qi Zhuyin crashes into her and kisses her with urgency. Her tongue pushes in with more force than their first time, and Hua Xiangyi indulges in the change of pace. This kiss was rougher– nose and teeth colliding, sharp pinches on her chin and along her jaw. It’s hard to keep up, but Hua Xiangyi abandons herself in it.
The air feels heavy, the taste of Qi Zhuyin’s mouth intoxicating. Hua Xiangyi doesn’t notice that she has walked backwards until she feels the bed hit the back of her knees.
They fall over at the same time, but not before Qi Zhuyin cushions Hua Xiangyi’s head with one hand. The sudden sweet gesture makes Hua Xiangyi smile. The undeniable warmth blossoming in her chest is overwhelming. If this is what following your feelings leads to, she should do it more often.
She eyes Qi Zhuyin’s chest in front of her with a disappointed look on her face. It won’t be good for her to strip the complicated layers of clothing now. She knows Qi Zhuyin has to leave soon, and it wouldn’t be proper for the Commander-in-Chief to face her subordinates looking disheveled.
“Do you want to see?” Qi Zhuyin smirks, apparently noticing her not-so-subtle gaze. “Or do you want to touch?” She guides Hua Xiangyi’s hand over her chest and squeezes with their hands on top of each other. Qi Zhuyin closes her eyes and sighs.
Hua Xiangyi purses her lips before pinching Qi Zhuyin’s nipple. She’s rewarded with a beautiful gasp from Qi Zhuyin which encourages her even more, putting both her hands to work and rubbing circles through her clothes. She moves hesitantly, afraid to accidentally hurt Qi Zhuyin or remind her of her inexperienced hands.
Qi Zhuyin’s erratic breath fuels the heat in her abdomen. She tries to sit up for a kiss, but it’s hard to move when she’s essentially trapped between Qi Zhuyin’s firm thighs. Her struggle doesn't go unnoticed, earning a chuckle from the owner of said firm thighs.
“I thought your experience stopped at kisses?” Qi Zhuyin grins and shifts closer to the edge of the bed. She pushes the fabric of Hua Xiangyi’s clothes towards her hips, exposing her bare thighs. "How are you stirring up such a storm in my heart?"
“Ah! That hurts.” Hua Xiangyi instinctively grabs Qi Zhuyin’s hand when she pinches the soft skin on her inner thigh. She seems to love pinching her everywhere.
“Did it?” Qi Zhuyin is now kneeling on the floor, lowering her lips to the spot she pinched. “Should I make it feel better, Eldest Madam?”
“Could you not call me that with your face between my legs?” Hua Xiangyi scolds, although her words carry no weight with how breathless she sounds.
Qi Zhuyin smiles against her skin. “Then, what should I call you?”
She places a quick and light kiss on her thigh before pinching it again. Hua Xiangyi hisses in pain, but she can't say she hates it. “Should I call you Third Missy Hua?”
“Or maybe Xiao Yi?” Her tongue licks circles around the spot she pinched, draining Hua Xiangyi of all the strength left in her body. Her kisses start traveling dangerously higher. Hua Xiangyi can feel her breath against the heat between her legs.
“Perhaps we should keep it simple.” Qi Zhuyin’s fingertips are lazily tracing circles on her thigh, as if she’s just unintentionally riling her up. She lays her head on Hua Xiangyi’s stomach and looks up at her. Her handsome smile could really command anyone’s attention , Hua Xiangyi thinks. Qi Zhuyin squints and pouts playfully. “Would it be scandalous to call you meimei ?”
Hua Xiangyi wants to say that it is scandalous and that she shouldn’t call her that. But the mere concept of having a secret nickname, a term of endearment only uttered in the privacy of each other’s company, instantly goes to her head. Her face is probably red from how hot it feels, and that heat is certainly being felt somewhere else as well.
Her unsaid thoughts on being called meimei is obvious, because Qi Zhuyin huffs out one breath of laughter before pressing her lips to where Hua Xiangyi has been wet and aching for a while now. The suddenness of it all sends a shiver through Hua Xiangyi, her hand flying to cover her mouth. It’s not like she hasn’t been loud this whole time, but this feeling is different from just a knee between her legs.
The wet and tender pressure against her has her gasping desperately. She must be moving a lot, because she suddenly feels Qi Zhuyin’s hand press firmly against her thigh, the other gripping her hips tightly. She could feel calloused fingers digging into her skin. None of that grounds her. The rough handling on her skin in contrast with the softness dragging along her sensitive spots sends her thoughts into a spiral.
“A-yin…ah!” She whispers, or she tries to. Hua Xiangyi can’t control the volume of her moans, she can’t even think straight. Her eyes are tightly shut as each lick, each stroke, and each pull on her sends her to her limit. Loud, slick sounds fill the tent with every move of Qi Zhuyin’s mouth and tongue.
As if the torturous pleasure isn’t already enough, Qi Zhuyin takes a hand off her thigh and puts it to work as well, her thumb rubbing delicate circles against her clit. Hua Xiangyi gasps, her eyes welling up in tears. Not long after that, Qi Zhuyin keeps up a beautiful rhythm, her tongue and fingers working a brutal pace to overstimulate her, but also slowing down to let her breathe and indulge in the tender sensations.
Hua Xiangyi can’t help raising her hips and rocking against Qi Zhuyin’s face. She keeps chasing the pleasure until the tension builds up within her, until her vision flashes white for a split second and she finally reaches her climax. The force of it has her groaning and twitching. Qi Zhuyin comes back up and gently kisses along her jaw, whispering praises as Hua Xiangyi rides through her orgasm.
“So good, meimei . You did so good.” She whispers into her ear. There’s a sticky feeling that accompanies Qi Zhuyin’s lips, and Hua Xiangyi is suddenly embarrassed knowing that it’s most likely from her.
She sits up, inwardly sighing at how weak her arms feel, and grabs at Qi Zhuyin’s collar. Hua Xiangyi quickly looks down between Qi Zhuyin’s legs. “What about you? I also…”
Hua Xiangyi won't admit it at this moment, but she wants more. That wasn't enough at all, and she wants to taste Qi Zhuyin as well. She wants to see her come undone. What would she look like pleading for release? Would she be loud, would she attempt to silence her moans? Would she grab her hair in frustration?
The barrage of indecent thoughts embarrasses Hua Xiangyi. She gets a taste once and she suddenly gets so greedy. Someday she would have the courage to let Qi Zhuyin know the extent of her desire.
Maybe it’s because she’s starting to calm down, but the air feels a little cooler. She feels at ease just looking into Qi Zhuyin’s soft eyes. Qi Zhuyin tucks a loose strand of hair behind Hua Xiangyi’s ear. She gives her a dazzling smile before lightly pinching the tip of her ears.
“Perhaps next time. The Commander-in-chief will be needed soon.”
“Oh, yes.” Hua Xiangyi almost forgot where they were. She glances at the state of her legs, littered with red and purple bruises. The evidence of Qi Zhuyin on her…
Qi Zhuyin follows her eyes and scratches her cheeks.
“Ah, I got too excited.” She stands up to get a handkerchief. “Our beloved Eldest Madam looks like she was tormented by a bastard.”
Hua Xiangyi quickly draws her legs to her chest. She’s a little flustered by how it looks, but it’s not like anyone else will see it. For now, at least. Who knows what kind of gossip the maidens attending to her back home would whisper among themselves.
She sighs. “You don’t look too great yourself, Commander-in-chief. I hope you stand far enough for the men not to notice your neck.”
Qi Zhuyin’s hand flies to her neck, a sheepish smile on her face. She only pauses for a moment before shrugging. Hua Xiangyi smiles at Qi Zhuyin’s lack of general concern for propriety or societal norms. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons she was drawn to her. Who wouldn’t admire a woman who dares to do anything she sets her mind to?
The bed lets out a slight creak as Qi Zhuyin sits down beside her, a wet cloth in hand. She pulls on Hua Xiangyi’s legs and puts them over her lap and starts wiping gently. Hua Xiangyi flinches a little at the cold but refreshing sensation.
“That’s fine, let them talk. Then they’ll know what really goes on inside Eldest Madam’s tent.”
A light slap on the hand is Hua Xiangyi’s response, resulting in a hearty laugh from Qi Zhuyin. The delight in her voice is contagious, drawing out a smile from Hua Xiangyi as well.
To Hua Xiangyi, it doesn’t really matter at all if their rendezvous at dawn gets exposed. So what if it does? If the worst outcome happens, she wouldn’t be alone. It won’t be as terrifying to wear one’s heart on their sleeves anymore, not when there’s someone beside you who wouldn’t let it break. She has already decided that she will take those first steps out of the shadows. And when she does, she’s certain that there will be a warm hand guiding her to greet the first light of the morning sky together.