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“Look at him,” Phillips sighs, “he’s making me cry.”
Peggy looks at the man who is indeed struggling with the physicality of the training. And while she knows it’s mostly impart due to his short stature and weak health, she also has seen the rest of the recruits picking on him as if this is a schoolyard.
She has patiently waited to see if he would fight back, try to protect his own pride.
But no. The man seems to pay no mind to the others who don’t believe he belongs.
“He is the clear choice—“
Peggy hears Erskine’s words and she nods. She agrees.
———-
He’s pale when they take Erskine’s body away. Still damp from his chase and dive into the river.
“Captain Rogers.” Someone calls, “you’re expected in the lab.”
He looks up, eyes wary, “for what?”
“Blood draw.”
Peggy wants to protest. Is it that really necessary right this very minute? But it’s not her chain of command. So she says nothing. But that doesn’t stop her from following him into the room.
———
Her first sight of the poster makes her blink.
It’s Steve, clearly it’s Steve, she’d know that tiny waist to shoulder ratio anywhere. But he’s in a ridiculous get up and the poster is calling for civilians to buy bonds.
She sighs, the rain making her shoulders shiver and she stares for one last second before hurrying back to the underground offices.
———
“And those are your only two options? A lab rat or a dancing monkey?”
Somehow this man looks more dejected and defensive than his smaller self had been.
He speaks like he’s been given a script and she tries to hide the amusement when he mentions his tights. But then he’s racing and— her heart clenches as he hears about the death of his friend.
And instead of giving up, he asks about the rest.
And his eyes trailing to the map tell her all she needs to know. He’ll damn his own safety just for the chance to try to help someone.
And when his steely voice says, “yes, sir. I do.”
She knows he doesn’t mean the stage.
————-
She frets (silently and without anyone knowing) about his lack of radio respondance. The fact that he hasn’t been seen or heard from.
“We gotta tell him.” She glares at Howard, “come on, Pegs. Steve’s been gone for almost 24 hours. Phillips is already through the roof.”
Peggy sighs. So sure he would be able to pull it off. “I know you’re right. I just…”
“You liked him.”
Her eyes widen, “excuse me?”
Howard smirks, “ah, come on. You may have that stiff upper lip but that little scrawny runt got to you. I saw it, Erskine did too. You liked him back then and you—“
She glares at him and pokes him in the chest, hard. “I’ll have you keep your ruminations and imaginations about my so called interest in men to nil! Thank you very much!”
Howard blinks but then his grin widens. “Yes, ma’am.”
She rolls her eyes and walks away.
————
“—missing in action.”
She stays stoic as Phillips berates her.
“It’s wasn’t a crush.” She retorts. “I had faith.”
And oh how sweet the sound of 200 tired men tromping into camp sounds.
His blonde hair and beat up shield makes for quite the picture. And after lightly berating him for his timeliness, his sweaty, grimy, but altogether too handsome face lights up. “Couldn’t call my ride.”
And the fact that he carried it all the way home just to prove to her he was telling the truth. Well maybe she can forgive that tardiness.
————-
Barnes gives it his best go but she only has eyes for Steve.
Which is why his betrayal the very next day hits even harder.
And she even cries about it.
For any other man, soldier, boy she would roll her eyes and move on. But Steve had been different, she’d sworn he was different. That’s why it stings and she lets him know it.
His wide eyes behind the shield make her smug.
And then minutes later make her guilty.
It doesn’t matter if he had been unprofessional. She shouldn’t have reacted that way. What childish nonsense love is.
But then he’s being shipped out and that childish nonsense feels a lot like fear at having their last interaction be her shooting at him.
Thankfully, she does spot him again. And again. But he doesn’t approach her or try to make nice.
Which irks her to no end.
But he also isn’t seen or heard with a single other woman. Peggy would hear it. The gossip chain in the bunker is legendary for that sort of story. But surprisingly and with a secret sense of relief, Captain America is too busy to entertain the flirting women he’s surrounded by.
But he also doesn’t make time for her.
She’s almost convinced herself their connection was a myth of her own making until the reel.
The reel of her face in his compass and his annoyed expression at the camera man for catching it.
She can feel Phillips’ eyes on her. But she remains calm.
And she resolves to find that silly dancing monkey next time he’s at the base and remind him that he’s to take her dancing when this is all over.
Good and proper.
————————————-