Chapter Text
Emma was relieved to hear the bell ring behind her as she exited the diner, the voices still discussing her pulled groin now disappearing. Glancing down at her now semi transparent top, thanks to the soda, she pulled her jacket closer to her chest with one hand as the other gripped the handles on the bag containing their takeaway.
They’d never had so much fast food since Regina fell pregnant. Her craving now centred on onions rings dipped in chocolate. Emma had gone as far as dipping her fries in a strawberry milkshake a few times, appreciating the sweet and savoury mix but she wasn’t sure she could stomach Regina’s latest craving. Which said a lot considering Emma would try most things and had a stomach of steel.
As she walked towards her car, she realised what Zelena had meant earlier when she’d said Emma had parked ‘haphazardly’. The Sheriff could park like a pro but as she reached the bug she realised three things simultaneously.
- Having a magic dick suddenly appear in her pants had clearly impacted her parking judgement.
- The underside of her car that had mounted the curb clearly needed a mechanics attention.
- Someone had clearly taken offence because they’d left her a note under her wiper which simply read; ‘Park Less Crappily next time!’
Emma took way too long debating if that was even a real word before placing the note in her pocket.
With a sigh she opened the door, thankful that Regina at least had the sense to poof the car keys with them when they had vacated the car rather abruptly earlier. Placing the bag of food on the passenger seat she was about to climb in when someone tapped her on the shoulder.
Emma jumped, hitting her head on the door frame.
“Shit.”
Slowly she turned.
“Yes?” she asked, rubbing her hand over her head as Tinkerbell immediately began to apologise.
“Emma! I’m sorry! I didn’t meant to make you jump.”
Emma sighed.
She wasn’t in the mood for Tink.
“It’s fine. No harm done.”
Tink smiled before she glanced at the car.
Emma waved a hand before the fairy could say anything about her apparently ‘Parking Crappily’.
“I really need to get going, Tink. Foods getting cold.”
Tink nodded, before placing a small hand on Emma’s arm.
“I just wanted to apologise.”
Emma look at the hand gripping her bicep but said nothing. When it came to Tink, she could be apologising for any number of reasons.
Slowly the fairy continued.
“I spoke to Will and he may have mentioned how Robin now thinks he’s Regina’s soul mate thanks to me revealing things about a certain tattoo.”
Emma pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger before her eyes refocused on the fairy who had now moved her hand away.
“I drank far too much mead that evening! I’ve never had it before and it was so rich and smooth and… I think I was, perhaps, a little drunk.”
Emma rolled her eyes.
“Ya think?”
Tink bit her lip.
“I am sorry, Emma. All I’ve ever wanted was for Regina to find her happiness.”
The look on Tink’s face made Emma realise the fairy meant every word.
“Blue found out and she’s threatening to take away my wings. I suppose I deserve it. I didn’t meant to cause so many problems.”
Emma shook her head.
“Mother Superior can go kiss my ass. Nobody is losing their wings, Tink. It was an honest mistake to make. Yeah, I was pissed off but I’m over it and I’m pretty sure Regina is too.”
Emma had never particularly liked Blue and the fact that she was threatening Tink for an honest mistake only riled her even further. If she removed Tink’s wings, she would be taking away her position as a fairy. Nobody should have that much control.
Tink still looked downcast and Emma couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for the fairy.
“You haven’t caused any issues, I promise. Robin is a prat no matter what you said. Regina is happy. I’m happy. Forget about it. Just maybe lay off the mead next time?”
Tink nodded.
“I will! And I am so happy you found each other. You really are her soulmate. You know that, right? And I don’t mean just because you have a lion tattoo!”
Emma grinned.
“Yeah. I know. And she’s mine. She always was; it just took a few fucked up chapters to get us there that’s all.”
Tink smiled.
“Well, it was always written that good and evil would merge and create a new life.”
Emma cocked her head.
“Regina isn’t evil.”
Tink looked abashed as she attempted to correct herself.
“No but… she was or at least, that is how she used to be perceived back in the Enchanted Forest.”
Emma continued to go over Tinks previous statement before she stopped.
“Written where, exactly?”
Tink managed to look a little sheepish as she slowly shrugged.
“In the stars, Emma. You and Regina meeting the way you did was down to serendipity. What happens after is destiny.”
She paused before continuing, a smile appearing on her face.
“Archie tells me Regina is pregnant. Please know how truly elated I am for the both of you.”
Emma was about to reply when Tinks small body was hugging her close.
“Don’t let anyone or anything stand in the way of your happily ever after, Emma.”
Tinks words echoed in her ear before the fairy took a step back.
“Why do I feel like that’s some kind of warning?”
Emma suddenly forgot about the food or getting back to Regina and Henry as Tink shook her head.
“Just be mindful not everyone in Storybrooke wants you and Regina together.”
Emma slowly nodded. She already knew that although the only person she could think of was Robin. Hook was debatable but considering he’d apologised and she’d seen him set sail on the Jolly Roger it was unlikely he would return anytime soon.
Then there was Cora, but she hadn’t appeared here.
Yet.
“And know, I am always here if you need me. For anything.”
Emma smiled.
“Maybe you should talk to Regina? Tell her you’re sorry. And tell her about Blue. It’s not my place too.”
Tink bobbed her head.
“I can do that. She won’t yell at me, right? The last time I tried to talk to her about her soulmate she blew me off.”
Emma took a step forward.
“Regina knew about the tattoo before?”
Tink shook her head.
“Oh no. Nothing about the tattoo. I mean, I knew, and I wanted to tell her but she refused to listen. This was back in the Enchanted Forest. She didn’t want to know; said she would find her soulmate on her own terms, and she was right. She did.”
Emma suddenly had a thought.
“Wait. You said you knew… what did you know, exactly? Just that they had a lion tattoo or that it was going to be me?”
Tink clasped a hand around Emma’s.
“Only that they had a lion tattoo and would be Regina’s saviour. I didn’t know it was you. I suppose that makes sense, considering you didn’t exist at that moment.”
Emma realised that fate, destiny and serendipity were all rather confusing and had no real rhyme or reason. She was also thankful that Regina had decided to go her own way when it came to embracing her fate.
“Regina won’t yell at you. At least, I don’t think she will. It depends how hormonal she’s feeling. Earlier I tried to swat a fly with a rolled up newspaper and she got mad because she’d not read the paper yet and then upset because the fly was harmless and shouldn’t be targeted. It’s like living with my mother at times.”
Tink started to laugh.
“Oh Emma. You really are perfect for one another. I’ll pay her a visit soon.”
Emma smiled and began to climb into her car when Tink waved her hand at the windscreen.
“Oh and… it was Blue who left the note.”
With that Tink winked at Emma and vanished.
Emma had finally returned home to a barrage of questions from an irate Mayor.
“Emma, what took you so long?”
Emma apologised and explained she had ran into Tink, who would be stopping by at some point to pay Regina a visit.
Regina took the bag of food from Emma who had shrugged off her jacket. Slowly her eyes dropped to Emma’s white top that was now sticking to her bra.
“I didn’t realise Granny was hosting a Wet T.Shirt contest Miss Swan.”
Emma glanced down before folding her arms across her chest.
“Thank your friend, your sister and my mother who were all keen to know why I pulled a muscle in my groin.”
Before Regina could begin to question that statement, Henry jogged into the kitchen and proceeded to tell both his mothers how starving he was and could they please eat.
So eat they did.
“So Maleficent knew I had a magic dodah.”
Emma had presumed, wrongly, that their son had left the dining room when he’d finished his burger and fries, jumping from his seat to go grab something from upstairs.
Emma didn’t realise that Henry had turned in the doorway and was on his way back into the room.
“What’s a dodah and how is it magical?”
Emma froze as Regina’s eyes narrowed at her, before Mayor Mode was engaged: fluffing her hair, squaring her shoulders and shaking her head ever so slightly at Emma she looked past the blonde and smiled at Henry.
“I thought you were going to meet us in the living room, Henry?”
Emma’s mouth was still open as Regina stood, collecting her plate before she walked past Emma, her finger tip edging towards the blondes jaw as she slowly lifted up to close pale lips together.
“Sorry.” Emma managed to mumble as she turned in her seat to face a confused looking Henry.
A look she wore well. Clearly the kid got all his confusion from her.
“How come Maleficent knows? I never knew you had a magic… what was it again?”
Emma blushed as she suddenly looked at Regina for help. The look on her girlfriends face told Emma she was about to receive non.
Nada.
Zilch.
“Yes my dear, what IS a magic dodah?”
Emma ran one hand though her hair closely followed by the other as she then stood and waved a finger at Henry.
“Oh nothing important. So, what movie are we going to watch?”
Henry frowned as he took further steps into the room.
Wrong direction, Emma panicked as Regina collected her plate.
“Do you have one because you can do magic now?”
Emma realised that Henry’s persistence was definitely all Regina.
“Um… No. It’s just… like a magic instrument. Nothing interesting.”
Regina shook her head slightly, her smile widening as Henry all of a sudden seemed to be beside Emma.
“I didn’t know you could play an instrument. What is it? And how is it magical?”
Emma suddenly sat back down, Henry’s face far too close.
Emma looked up and found Regina standing behind Henry, trying and failing not to laugh.
Revenge may be a dish best served cold but right now Emma was ready to hurtle it right at the brunettes smug face.
“It’s a flute, Henry. I decided to learn because you mom always liked wind instruments. You know, those you blow into.”
Emma then smirked as Regina began to cough.
“That’s awesome! Can I hear you play?”
Regina immediately returned Emma’s smirk, adding a quirked eyebrow for good measure.
“Well I’m still pretty inexperienced Hen. In fact, I only started to tune my instrument earlier today. Your mom helped me a lot, actually. Didn’t you Gina.”
Regina was now rubbing her hands down the side of her skirt as Emma stood.
“You see, your mom is my number one fan. She loves it when I bring out my flute, isn’t that right babe?”
Henry was smiling as he turned to face his mom.
“Have you tried to blow ma’s magic flute?”
Now Emma started to laugh, her hand covering her lips as Regina calmly composed herself before bending down to Henry’s level.
“I tried a trumpet once at school but I couldn’t get any sound from it.” Henry huffed as Regina smiled.
“Yes my dear, in fact I gave Emma’s flute such a good blow I made it sing its own tune, hence how it’s magical. Now, be a good boy and go pick a movie whilst your mother and I tidy up.”
Henry nodded, bounding from the room for the second time that evening.
Emma swallowed as Regina watched him go before rounding on her.
“Miss Swan….”
Emma held up her hands.
“Hey! It could have been worse! I could have said Mal knew I had a magic dick!”
Regina paused before her hands found Emma’s waist.
“And you know, I only said it because you decided to give me one!”
Regina smiled, her lips immediately next to Emma’s ear.
“If my memory serves me well, you actually gave me one, or was it two?”
Emma shuddered as a tongue then began to dance around her ear lobe.
“More like three… three times….” Emma groaned as Regina suddenly stood back.
“Let’s hope Henry doesn’t ask you for a flute recital.”
Emma shrugged.
“He’ll soon forget all about it.”
Sadly for Emma, Henry didn’t.
The movie turned out to be a nature documentary.
Emma wasn’t certain Henry’s choice was such a good idea.
“You sure this is what you want, Henry?”
The last time they had sat together and watched a nature programme , Regina had ended up in tears.
“Yeah. Why? Don’t you want to watch it? I thought you loved David Attenborough?”
Emma smiled and nodded her head towards Regina whose face was behind a copy of the Storybrooke Gazette.
Henry frowned and shrugged his shoulders.
Emma sighed at her sons inability to catch her subtle hints.
Clearly he took after Snow in that department.
“Gina is this alright with you?”
Regina merely nodded, adding “Yes dear. I’m reading the paper anyway. Put whatever you wish on the television.”
So Henry did.
Ten minutes into the show, Regina’s paper was on the floor, her small body leaning into Emma’s side as she let out a sniffle.
Henry, too engrossed in the show as he laid on the floor on his stomach, missed the sniffle.
Emma didn’t.
“Are you alright?”
Regina nodded before both her and Henry let out a joint “shhh.”
Emma closed her mouth.
Five minutes later, the sniff became a sob.
“I don’t think-“
“Mom, be quiet! I can’t hear the….”
Suddenly all Emma could hear was the sound of a baby gazelle crying.
Or perhaps it was Regina crying. It was hard to tell.
“I can’t believe they haven’t done anything for that baby gazelle! They just watched her mother being murdered in cold blood!”
Emma wouldn’t have gone with murder per-say. Big cats needed to eat too but she valued her own life too much to contradict her upset, agitated girlfriend.
Henry finally looked back at his mom, his face scrunched as he looked at Emma. Finally his mouth opened a little before he turned, attempting to find the tv remote.
Emma sighed as she realised it had only taken the kid half an hour to realise her failed attempt at instigating “Operation Your Mom is Gonna Bawl the Moment an Animal is Killed.”
Regina then threw a pen at the tv screen. Emma watched as it bounced off the screen and hit Henry on the forehead.
“Baby are you alright?”
Regina turned, her face now mirroring thunder.
“Do I look alright? I’ve just seen a mother murdered by a cheetah and now her child has no one. The heard have left her! Alone. And the presenters are there filming it. Not attempting to help the baby in any way! Attenborough should be ashamed of himself and his dulcet tone at a time like this!”
Emma shifted and attempted to calm her - sobbing again - girlfriend.
“I don’t think they’re allowed to, baby. It’s the natural cycle of life and death. Pretty sure they can’t intervene, cause it can affect the ecosystem or something…”
Emma had no idea what she was actually saying but she knew for sure Snow had said the very same thing to her when they’d watched a baby penguin lose its mother on a nature show. Emma had teared up and demanded the show producers should do something.
“Fuck the ecosystem!” Regina then hollowed, and promptly started to sob again, this time into Emma’s chest.
“Henry switch the channel bud.”
Henry was now standing, gawping at his mother, tv remote in one hand, pen in the oh her.
“Yeah. Sure… um… I’ll just….”
Henry began to channel hop before finally resting on a show.
“Hey look! They’re playing musical instruments!”
Emma immediately looked up, as Regina’s sobs turned into gentle sniffles.
“Yeah we ain’t watching this kid. What the hell is it anyway?”
“That my dear is The BBC Proms.”
Emma turned to see a smug looking Zelena standing behind the sofa.
“The what?”
Regina finally removed herself from Emma and looked up, her eyes red and puffy.
“Holy hell, don’t you like orchestral classical music concerts Reggie?”
Regina’s bottom lip began to tremble as Emma shot Zelena a warning look.
“Oh… is this baby hormones again?”
Regina muttered something before looking back at her sister.
“Why are you here?”
Zelena swept across the room and took a seat.
“Mal and Lily are having a mother-daughter evening. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“So you’ve interrupted us instead.” Regina then hissed as she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, her eyes now falling back to the tv.
“Henry invited me.”
Emma looked at Henry who grinned.
“It’s an open invitation when it comes to Aunty Z.”
Emma signed as Regina shifted. Emma handed her a tissue.
“We were watching a nature show but-“
Emma paused, wondering how to finish.
Henry continued on her behalf.
“Mom got upset when a baby gazelle lost its mom and was angry the presenters didn’t help. Ma tried to tell her they aren’t allowed to, something about the ecosystem but mom thinks the ecosystem can go fu-“
“Regina is just a little emotional, is what Henry means.” Emma jumped in as Zelena’s eyes began to twinkle.
“Oh I’m so glad I stopped by.” Zelena finally replied as her eyes landed on Henry who was excitedly pointing at the tv.
“Ma, look!! A flute!!”
Emma already felt her insides clench a little as Zelena’s ever watchful gaze now landed on her.
“Why would a flute interest you?”
Henry, seemingly on a roll, replied for his ma.
Unfortunately for his ma.
“Ma has a magic flute! She only started playing with it today with mom who helped her tune it and mom even tried blowing down it too.”
Emma felt her face blaze.
Regina immediately sat upright.
“This isn’t what it sounds like…”
“Do you have to blow very hard to get it to work?” Henry then asked, his eyes on the lady on the tv screen who seemed to be blowing it with just the right amount of pressure.
“I don’t know Henry, ask your mother. She appears to be a pro at blowing your ma’s magic flute!”
Emma suddenly stood.
“I need a beer.”
Zelena chuckled.
“Oh wonderful. I’ll have one too, dear.”
Ruby was ready to close. The day had been a long one, with the only interesting event occurring what felt like hours ago when Emma had spilt soda all over herself in true Swan Style.
Looking up at the clock she was relieved to see there was only an hour left.
The bell chimed as Snow appeared, smile on her face as soon as she saw Ruby.
“It’s rather late for you isn’t it?” Ruby asked as she started to remove the menus from each table.
“Oh I’ve just come to see Granny. I need to borrow something and she said I could come on over.”
Snow then took a seat at the counter.
“Can I get a hot milk while I wait?”
Ruby nodded as the door opened again, Mal and Lily now entering. Both shot a smile Snow and Ruby’s way as they took a seat in the corner of the diner.
“I’ll let Granny know you’re here. And while you are here, do me a favour and back me up when I tell her we need another member of staff. I’ve worked a double today. I need a day off!”
Snow nodded in understanding before her face broke out into a smile.
“What about me? I can help! I mean, I’m not really doing a great deal at the moment?”
Ruby paused, her eyes scrunching slightly as she recalled the many (many) occasions Emma and Zelena had criticised Snows cooking. And baking.
That said, Granny was in charge of the kitchen. Snow could serve and clear tables.
“I think that’s a great idea. You should definitely suggest it!”
Ruby didn’t really care who took up the apron stings, as long as it meant she had some time off to spend with Mulan.
“Oh I will!” Snow beamed as Granny appeared holding a frying pan.
“You will what?” She asked as Ruby sauntered over to take Mal and Lily’s order.
The door chimed again as Ruby scribbled down their order, giving them both a smile before she walked back to the counter.
Snow had clearly offered her services as Granny slowly considered the possible drawbacks of employing the fairest of them all. The only thing she could think of was Snows inability to cook or indeed bake anything edible.
Not that she would be. Not in Granny’s kitchen!
“Well, I suppose we could give you a trial run. Though we do sometimes get some unsavoury individual’s you would have to deal with, Snow. Like an intoxicated Leroy. I don’t want your connection to the seven dwarfs to affect your ability to make clear cut decisions!”
Snow nodded.
“Okay then. You can work alternate afternoons, give Ruby some of the time off she’s been bellyaching about.”
Ruby grinned as Snow nodded enthusiastically.
“I won’t let you down! I can start tomorrow!”
Granny nodded as someone cleared their throat.
Snow and Granny turned.
“Hi. I don’t meant to interrupt but-“
“No.”
Ruby, who was about to start on Snows milk looked up at Snows harsh interruption.
“I’m sorry?” the stranger replied, his brows now scrunched.
“Snow?” Granny asked as Snow suddenly stood.
“Y-you…. You don’t get to interrupt!”
Mal and Lily were now looking up as Ruby edged around the counter towards Snow.
“Snow? Are you alright?”
Snows face was red, her body now shaking.
“I... You!” She hissed, now pointing a finger at the man who appeared to be gathering his thoughts.
“I have no idea who you are, lady?”
Snow suddenly stood tall, or as tall as a petite woman could, both hands now clenched at her side.
“Get out.”
Granny actually gawped at Snow as the man shrugged his shoulders.
“Yeah, that’s not happening. I was just going to ask a question, no need to get so worked up about it!”
Ruby was having trouble understanding Snows attitude towards the stranger. After inspecting the man standing in the doorway further, Ruby realised she had no idea who he was.
“I guess I should have expected this kind treatment from a closed off, narrow minded small town like this one. Population 50, all with an attitude problem!”
Snow suddenly grabbed the frying pan Granny was holding, as she leapt across the room.
Ruby wasn’t entirely certain what Snow intended to do with said frying pan, so it came as a shock when the pixie haired brunette brought it up and swung it into the strangers face.
“Holy shit!”
Ruby definitely thought it but it was Lily who voiced it as Mal stood and Granny suddenly appeared beside Snow who was looking down at the body now sprawled on the floor, her own body still shaking.
“That…” Snow finally stammered down at the body, “THAT was for my daughter! And also… nobody criticises our town!”
Granny was smiling to herself as Mal and Lily appeared beside Snow, the former crouching over the body, the latter looking at Snow with a sense of new found admiration.
“Well I’ve no qualms with you handling yourself anymore, Snow! The job is definitely yours!”
Granny then laughed as Ruby hit the speed dial on her phone.
Emma picked up on the fifth ring.
“Rubes?”
Ruby was still looking at Snow in wonderment as Granny slowly removed the frying pan from her grip.
“Yeah… um…. I know you’re not on shift but… we’ve a slight situation at the diner…”
Emma sighed.
“Rubes, David and Mulan are on duty this evening. I’m sure they can handle a drunk Leroy.”
Ruby turned away from the scene as Mal stood and shrugged.
“He’s out cold.”
Ruby heard Emma in her ear immediately.
“Who’s out cold?”
Ruby shook her head before realising Emma couldn’t actually see her.
“We don’t know. Never seen him before but… Emma… Snow kinda, lost it. And… she may have hit him.”
There was a definite pause before Emma finally replied.
“My mom hit a guy you’ve never seen before? What the hell?”
Ruby swallowed hard.
“She used a frying pan.”
Emma exhaled.
“I’ll be right there.”
Emma retrieved a beer for Zelena and handed it to her.
“I have to go to the diner. There’s been an altercation.”
Zelena took the bottle and proceeded to open it against the top of Regina’s walnut coffee table. Regina glared at her sister before moving the same glare to Emma.
“You’re not on shift tonight. Send David or Mulan.”
Emma sighed.
“I have to go, it involves… Snow.”
Zelena suddenly looked up from the floor, her attempts at trying to locate the bottle top that had projected across the room now forgotten.
“Snow?!”
Emma nodded.
“She… well, according to Ruby she’s.. hit someone.”
Zelena dropped the beer bottle as Regina shot her another look before waving her hand, beer bottle and likely stain now gone.
“Are you sure Ruby isn’t seeing things? I don’t think I’ve ever seen your mother throw a punch before?” Zelena continued as Regina frowned.
“The only thing Snow is capable of throwing is a tantrum..”
Emma shrugged, jacket already on as she began to search for her car keys.
Regina sighed as Zelena stood.
“I can just imagine Snow as a bare knuckle boxer!”
Emma ran a hand over here face before facing Regina and Zelena.
“Well, she apparently used a frying pan.”
Zelena laughed.
Regina rolled her eyes. And then began to laugh.
“I’m coming with you.” Zelena finally stated once her laughing was over.
“I need to see this with my own eyes!”
“Who did she hit?” Regina asked, as she snuggled down further into the couch.
Emma looked at her girlfriend longingly, wishing she was curling up right beside her. Finally she replied.
“Ruby didn’t recognise him so no idea but I guess we’re about to find out.”
Emma parked her car outside the diner, careful not to mount the pavement.
“Your parking has improved.” Zelena joked as Emma turned to face her.
“There is nothing wrong with my parking. I had that - pulled muscle remember And I was in a lot of pain so, yeah.”
Zelena’s lips quirked into a smile as she patted Emma on the shoulder.
“Are you sure you don’t mean you had a flute that needed blowing? I mean really, Sheriff, how many undertones are there?”
Emma swallowed as she turned off the ignition, placing her keys in her pocket as the small piece of paper from earlier fell.
Into Zelena’s outstretched hand.
“Regina gave you a cock. I honestly don’t know why you can’t be honest about it.”
She then turned the paper over in her palm, reading the note.
“Oh my. You pissed someone off my dear!”
Emma huffed.
“The Blue Fairy according to Tink.”
“What a bitch. Although she was right. You did park -“
“Crappily! Yes, I know! Jesus. Let’s just get Snow and go. I’m too old for this shit!”
Emma strode towards the diner with Zelena close behind. The former was about to open the door before Zelena stopped her with a hand.
“You said Ruby didn’t recognise Snows victim?”
Emma nodded, peering back at the door whose blinds were unfortunately closed.
“Ruby knows everyone, Sheriff.”
Emma sighed.
“Yes Zelena. That thought also crossed my mind.”
Zelena beamed. Actually beamed.
“Look at us! Drawing the same conclusions. I’m wasted as a Teaching Assistant, Emma. Law enforcement is clearly in my blood. We could be partners. Can you imagine!”
Emma briefly imagined and chose not to continue with that particular trail of thought.
Working with Zelena as a partner would be… Hell personified.
“I watch Law and Order. Only the SVU one of course. Olivia Benson could arrest me any day of the week.”
Emma felt let cheeks blush a little.
She’d always had a small thing for Olivia.
“We’d need a name, of course.”
Zelena continued, so caught up in her own thoughts she had thankfully missed Emma’s blush.
Emma scrunched her eyebrows so much they almost joined in the middle.
“We already have names?”
Zelena cackled.
“Like a shipping name, Emma.”
Emma’s eyebrows now joined.
“A what?”
Zelena shook her head and then rolled her eyes.
“Remember Swan Queen? That was yours and Regina’s shipping name.”
Emma let out at “Ah” before she suddenly bit her lip.
“We’re not romantically involved though”
Zelena took a step forward and reached out a hand, fingers now lingering on Emma’s upper arm.
“But you got me pregnant, Sheriff…”
Zelena then proceeded to chuckle to herself as she removed her hand.
“I’m aware we’re not romantically or sexually involved, clearly you met Regina before me…” Zelena then wriggled her eyebrows before continuing “I mean we could have a shipping name as partners in crime; a friendship one!”
Emma shook her head.
“These shipping names are crazy. Nobody uses them.”
Zelena gasped.
“Are you serious, Sheriff? The entire population of Storybrooke has shipping names!! And when Hook arrived well, some even shipped you both as Captain Swan! He was a pirate my dear, you know what they say about cannons…. They damage ships….”
Emma was now totally lost although the thought of anyone shipping her with Hook made her feel a little queasy.
“Anyway. I’ll give it some thought. But right now I’m rather enamoured with Wicked Swan. Has a kick to it.”
Emma still couldn’t believe everyone had a shipping name.
“Alright then, what’s Snow and David’s?”
“Oh that’s too easy. Snowing.”
Emma snorted. “Their name is a weather front? Lame. What about… Rumple and Belle?”
Zelena paused, clearly for dramatic effect, before adding, “Rumbelle.”
“Sounds like a type of pasta. Or a dance. Also lame. You sure you’re not making this up?”
Zelena placed a hand over her heart.
“Guides Honor.”
Emma let out a laugh.
“They had guides in Oz? Actually forgoet I asked. Alright, one more… Ruby and Mulan?”
“Oh that’s my favourite. I actually named that one myself. MulanRouge!”
Emma begrudgingly nodded.
“Yeah okay. I’ll give you that one.
Emma then pulled the door to the diner open whilst tugging at Zelena.
“We’re still not having the name Wicked Swan. I sound like the Dark One!”
Both then stopped in the doorway as the former Dark One appeared in view, hovering over an unconscious body that was still sprawled on the tiled floor.
“Okay, can someone please tell me what the hell happened here?”
Emma shot her question to anyone as both her and Zelena stepped further into the diner, the view of the ‘victim’ still obscured by Rumple.
Rumple turned and finally took a step to the side.
The first thing Emma saw was her mother standing to one side, hand over her mouth, with Granny and Ruby on either side of her, the former holding a frying pan and the latter still holding her phone.
Mal and Lily were near the door.
“I wish I filmed it.” Lily was saying to Mal who slowly nodded before looking at Emma and Zelena.
“Did you have a nice mother daughter evening?” Zelena asked, passing Rumple and stepping over the body on the floor. Glancing down she tilted her head before looking back at Emma.
“I don’t recognise him either.”
Emma took several steps forward and looked down.
Finally she spoke. Her voice high pitched.
“You’ve got to be shitting me!”