Chapter Text
The first hint was in battle.
This wasn't your first fight with Thor, Loki, Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three—far from it. You weren’t sure why it was this time that the sight of bodies strewn across the battlefield and the stench of blood made your stomach churn but sure enough, as soon as the fight came to a lull, you were keeling over and retching into the gravel. You took a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth once the nausea subsided, wiping your dirtied lips and chin with the back of your palm. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt a hand gently caress your back.
“Are you quite well, Lady y/n?” Lady Sif queried, voice much softer than you were used to, especially during times of battle.
“I’m fine, thank you, Sif,” you attempted a reassuring smile but it ended up as more of a grimace once you noticed the bitter tang lingering in your mouth.
The woman grimaced with sympathy, pulling a flask from Odin-knows-where and offering it to you. You unscrewed the cap and took a swig, grateful for the taste of mead as you swished it around your mouth and spat it back out beside you.
“Are we having a party?” Thor called out as he approached, gesturing to the flask with a jut of his chin.
“Without you, my dear prince?” you teased, returning the flask to its owner. “Never.”
Sif took a swig of her own before handing the flask to Thor who downed the remaining contents and tossed the flask to the side. Sif shot him a disapproving look which was ignored in favor of the Warriors Three rejoining the group. You smiled softly, watching Sif roll her eyes before she approached to join the celebration.
“Not in the mood for celebrating?” A silky smooth voice flowed to you from just out of your peripheral.
“Hello, Loki,” you greeted with a small smile that you couldn’t fight.
“Are you quite well, my lady?” He cut right to the chase and you ignored how the possessive term made your stomach swoop with affection. “You’re looking rather pale.”
“I am fine, thank you,” you deflected his concern, suddenly annoyed at all the attention you were receiving. “I can handle myself in a battle. Certainly I’ve more than proved that by now.”
“I resent your implication, Lady y/n,” he feigned offense. “Can a man not worry for his fellow warrior? For a friend?”
“Not you, Loki,” you laughed in a self-deprecating manner. “Never you.”
You could have sworn you saw something akin to hurt flicker across his gaze, but it was gone almost as soon as you noticed it. Probably nothing, you thought. He was the god of deception after all. As such, it was fitting how he always seemed to see right through you.
“Very well,” he conceded. “Keep your secrets.”
He gave you one last thoughtful glance before joining up with his brother. You watched him go, helplessly forlorn. You had long accepted that you would never be able to read his thoughts or emotions without him sharing them outright, but that never made it hurt less. You were caught off-guard when you heard Thor call out for Heimdall, raising Mjölnir to the sky. It led to a less than graceful landing for you on the other side of the bifrost back in Asgard. You were caught, of course, by Loki. He had seen right through your defenses and made this much obvious to you in the look he shot you as you lay helpless in his arms. You hadn’t quite been swept off your feet in the fall but as soon as you tried to shove him away, he only held tighter and lifted you into a true bridal carry.
“Loki, put me down!” You protested, weakly hitting at his chest so as to not truly harm him.
“With all due respect, y/n, you nearly collapsed,” Sif chimed in, and you noticed that all of your fellow warriors had turned their attention to you. “Certainly you will not fault us for being worried.”
“I shall not fault you,” you sighed, your gaze softening, “but I shan’t allow you to dote on me either. I am a warrior, I am perfectly capable of walking on my own.”
“Most definitely,” Thor agreed with you. “We would never doubt your abilities.”
“But we also don’t doubt that Loki would love for an excuse to take you to bed,” Fandral winked at the man before getting smacked upside the head by Hogun. “I did not mean it that way!”
If only they knew.
“Of course you didn’t,” Hogun looked at him doubtfully before turning back to you. “Allow us to dote on you just this once, Lady y/n. You appear exhausted.”
“The battle is won,” Loki reminded you. “You have nothing to fear. You will be missing out on nothing but crowd control after these idiots have gotten drunk off their asses.”
You took a deep breath, relenting. “Fine. I suppose my feet are tired. You may carry me as far as my chambers, but no farther.”
“As you wish, my lady,” Loki gave you a respectful nod before beginning to carry you down the bifrost back to the palace.
“Now that that’s settled,” Thor’s voice boomed from behind you. “Warriors, I believe we have a feast awaiting us!”
You wrapped your arms around Loki’s neck and tucked your face into the crook of it. The stench of blood and sweat was the most prominent to you, but underneath still lied the faint hints of the expensive cologne you knew he loved. You almost wished he would carry you to his room instead of your own. But he was a perfect gentleman as he always was around you, even the time that you…
You’d sought him out that time, you forced yourself to remember. Not the other way around. At the time, you were being courted by someone close to the royal family. The son of some advisor or something of the sort. You didn’t care to remember. He’d broken your heart some weeks ago when you caught him tangled up with some other girl in the castle gardens during a party. You’d run to Loki, knowing he’d already retired to bed and before you knew it, he had you under him, gasping and moaning and begging for release. He’d given it to you of course, and you hadn’t been able to get it off your mind since. But as brave and fierce as you are a warrior, you were much too weak and much too afraid to admit such things to him. Such a confession could only lead to others of the sort, and you weren’t quite sure you were ready for his rejection just yet.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t notice how close you were to your chambers until Loki was setting you down outside your door.
“I shall join Thor and the others then, if it is of no difference to you,” he was business as usual, of course, even after carrying you a mile back to the palace with your arms around him. “Wouldn’t want them to get any ideas.”
“Of course,” you offered your most pleasant smile, ignoring the way your chest tightened at his eagerness to dismiss any speculation about your relationship. “You should enjoy yourself. I should not wish for you to miss out because of me.”
“Much obliged,” he nodded once in appreciation. “Then you shall know where to find me should you need anything.”
“I shall,” you couldn’t help the way a spark of hope flickered in your chest. You shoved it down. “Goodnight, Loki.”
“Goodnight, my lady.”
He bowed to you before strolling down the hall at a leisurely pace. You watched him go until he turned the corner, and then you watched a little while longer. You weren’t sure if you were hoping for something to happen or just finding an excuse to pretend he was with you a little while longer. After some time though, you resigned to turn in for the night, ignoring the weight on your shoulders of things left unsaid.