Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jude was on his third beer.

Since Zero had promoted him to his agent, they spent a lot of time together, which exponentially increased his frustration.

He had always pretended that men didn't interest him, but Lionel had caught him right away, and at least with her he could be himself.

"What about this Grindr app? Apparently, it's great for hooking up."

Jude grinned bitterly.

"Oh, please. A bunch of rednecks just looking to get laid...it's not for me. Besides, I don't like any of them."

Lionel smirked.

"Ah, so you have tried it already. Is it still on your phone?"

Jude blushed.

"I'm going to the bathroom," he mumbled, getting up and disappearing down the hall.

As soon as she was alone, Lionel grabbed Jude's phone and checked. Bingo! The Grindr app was there.

The first two or three guys made her laugh and she passed them on, but the fourth one...

"Wow," she muttered to herself.

You could fry eggs on those abs.

Before she could think better of it, she was sending a message.

"Lionel, listen-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

But it was too late; she had already sent it.

"Oops," she said, not at all regretful.

Damn, you hot! Tell me u r into dudes...

Just enough time to yell at Lionel, and Jude’s cell phone pinged. 

LoL r u serious? Thanks

Jude blushed violently.

"Fuck, Lionel, he answered! God, who-fuck, what a body..."

Jude stared at the picture.

"Answer, come on, don't be a dick," Lionel encouraged him, and Jude, biting his lip, did so.

Of course I'm serious. You're beautiful and you know it

I was referring to the other sentence 😆

But in fact, yes, I know 😉

***

“If only Zero listened to us..."

The coach galred at him, and the player rolled his eyes and put his cell phone away. He hated retreats, hours and hours watching videos and talking about patterns and theories and strategies...

He lasted only a few minutes.

You on the other hand? I can't really see much 😏

Not that he cared, he had a thousand others. But he was bored, and rather than listen to the coach, it was better to chat a bit.

***

Jude blushed, as Lionel arched an eyebrow.

"What do you want?! I don't have a great opinion of me and my body, you know that!"

Lionel rolled his eyes.

"Take off your shirt, I'll take a picture of you to send to the stud."

"You can't send it! It's too...come on!!!"

"Oops, too late. I sent it."

***

The vibration in his pocket made Zero smile. But when he reached for his cell phone, he stood staring at the image that appeared for almost a full minute.

"What the fuck-"

Was that Jude ? As in, his stuck up, agent Jude?!

***

Jude waited anxiously for an answer.

"He doesn't like me, see? We shouldn't have sent-"

Well, you're not bad yourself, I'd say

Jude sighed in relief.

Well, not compared to you. I mean, a friend took this picture of me, I don't walk around like this

Why not? I'm sure you would score so easily if you did

Jude blushed as he replied.

You mean it? You actually like me?

***

Zero bit the inside of his cheek. Oh yes, he liked Jude, but beyond that...why not have some fun?

Yup. As I said, you’re sexy 😏

😳 Uhm...thanks, I guess. So, you-where are you from? What are you looking for?

***

"I mean, Zero, if you're not going to listen to me you might as well get out!" 

The coach shouted, but Zero just shrugged.

"Seriously? It's about time!"

He didn't let it be repeated and hurried off to his room. Beer, cellphone, and off to bed.

He answered him a few minutes later. 

LA

***

Really? Me too!

What are you looking for? Why did you write to me?

Jude hesitated, biting his lower lip, and Lionel rolled her eyes again.

"Seriously, how did you manage to get laid, ever?"

When Jude blushed, she finally understood.

"Oh fuck, are you a virgin ?!" She snatched the phone out of his hand and answered.

I was looking for someone like you. To teach me how to let go

"Lionel!!!"

***

Zero burst out laughing and sipped his beer, looking at his cell phone mischievously.

"Really, Jude? Are you looking for sex online? Who would have thought it," he commented to himself.

***

"See? You scared him off!" Just to prove him wrong, the phone pinged.

You are direct, eh. Interesting

Not really, not normally. Let's just say I'm trying. For you

Oh I noticed you're trying. I like guys like you

“What is I noticed supposed to mean?!" Jude protested, and Lionel chuckled, still holding Jude’s phone and typing the answer.

I like you too, obviously

Of course, otherwise you wouldn't have written to me

Yeah, about that? I’ve never done anything like that, before

Never? I'm the first one? Wow 😏

Yes you are, in more ways than one 

"Lionel, stop it, for fuck’s sake!!!"

And what do you expect from your first time?

First time in chat, I mean 😏

"I think this is my cue" Lionel stood up and placed the phone on the table.

"Have fun tonight, babe."

Before Jude could stop her, Lionel was gone.

He stood there for a moment, staring at the door, then swallowed and sat on the couch, grabbing the phone.

I don't know, you're the expert...I guess. I'll follow you

***

Zero smiled and finished his first beer. Jude was lovely, he felt like he could hear him. Who knows if he was drunk, some sentences didn't sound like him at all. Maybe it was a hidden side of him, who knows?

Tell me about yourself. What are you looking for in a man?

Jude bit his lower lip.

The truth is, I don't know. I've never-

He deleted the message and began again.

Someone to teach me, guide me. Help me understand what I want

"Oh, baby, I'd sure know how to make you understand what you want," murmured Zero to himself, stretching out on the bed with a mischievous little smile.

Are you a virgin?

***

Jude blushed furiously.

Is it so obvious?

Well, if you want someone to teach you…

I mean, have you just recently figured it out ? it happens, there's nothing wrong with it

***

Zero grinned.

"How sweet..."

***

Jude sighed.

Obviously the stranger had read into his despondency.

Actually, I’ve always known. But I decided I would ignore it and live otherwise. However, the frustration...the need...

***

Zero licked his lips. The need , already...

Oh, I know the feeling

I don't believe it! Someone like you can have whoever you want...whenever you want!

***

Jude shuddered, looking at the picture again.

Well, I've had the straight phase, too

Also, you underestimate yourself, baby. I bet there's more than a few people drooling over you

Come on, I'm really nothing special

No one had ever courted him. He was not someone people liked.

But the fact that the stranger, handsome as he was, thought so...made Jude feel a warmth in his chest.

Trust me, if I met you at a bar I would try to get you into bed

Jude emitted a little cry, jolting.

What are you saying! I don't-

He clenched his fists and deleted the message.

He had to be bold, after all, that was what the app was for, right?

We can go, if you want. To a bar, I mean

***

"...shit. Now how am I going to get out of this?," Zero asked himself, going to get another beer. Then he grinned, thunderstruck by a brilliant realization, and went back to writing to him in a rush.

Let's get to know each other better, first

"Genius. i am a genius "

Doesn't look like it, but I'm quite shy

"HA, fuck, they should give me an oscar"

***

Jude smiled to himself.

It's okay, I'm in no hurry anyway. What do you want to know?

***

What do you think about when you touch yourself , Zero was writing, but he hesitated before sending, and deleted the message.

"No, it's too much too soon. Let’s slow it down"

You were talking about needs earlier. how come all of a sudden you can't ignore them anymore?

***

Jude sighed.

He didn’t want to reveal too much, even though there was no real risk that the stranger might recognize him.

I found myself attracted to a colleague. So attracted that I can't keep my instincts in check

He flushed rereading his own words, but the cat was out of the bag, too late to turn back now.

***

"Oh! Another agent? That photographer? The damn Lucas? Who can it be?"

Zero tried to think of Jude's colleagues he knew, but the only thing he achieved was annoyance, so he stopped and got back to concentrate on their conversation.

And what do you think about when you see him? 😏

How handsome he is, and how I wish I could touch him and see him turn that smile toward me instead of those four bitches following him everywhere

***

"...Oh. OH. I didn’t expect this, Jude. Is it a baller?!"

Mhh I'm almost jealous😉. Tell me about this guy, then. What's he like?

***

Jude smiled to himself, not realizing how weird was that a guy who was trying to get in his pants was asking him to share details about his crush.

Thing was, talking about Zero was not difficult for him at all.

You don't have to be jealous, he is totally straight, and even if he wasn't, he certainly wouldn't be looking at me. He is arrogant, devastatingly handsome and full of himself. He's talented, a lot, but he's fundamentally insecure even though he would never admit it

Pfft. Straight guys don't exist. Is he single? 

Jude sighed.

Oh, yes. He always says he's too much of a man for a single woman

***

Zero threw his cell phone on the mattress and snapped his tongue on his palate, with a jubilant verse. Ha! Jude was attracted to him. The tender little insecure Jude had wet dreams thinking about him!

Before he knew it he had already brought a hand to the crotch of his suddenly uncomfortable pants.

"Oh, baby, I would gladly show you how much of a man I am..."

He picked up the cell phone again, interrupting his own fantasies. He didn't want to keep Jude waiting. 

What a jerk. And he lets someone like you get away? Maybe he doesn’t know you’re available.

You should give it a shot

***

Jude fidgeted on the couch.

What if saying that made him run away?

Really, there's nothing between us, it's just a fantasy. He doesn't see me, he doesn't want me, he doesn't consider me. I want to meet someone who sees me instead. I'm more than ready for that

Well, trust me, I see you

Oh, come on, you didn't want to meet me either

Not that Jude blamed him.

If that’s what you think, let's see each other then

Jude gasped.

You mean it?

Yes, of course. Tomorrow?

I-yes. I want to see you. I want to find out what it's like with a man

Jude was red-faced and embarrassed as hell, but he had to take that step.

***

"I'm going to fucking eat him tomorrow."

Baby, if you talk like that I won't be able to wait until tomorrow

Zero sent it before thinking.

***

Jude swallowed nervously.

Well, right now I'm free...if you want. I'm alone, I can be anywhere you want in ten minutes. I have a powerful car

***

Zero’s cock jumped in his underpants and his heart missed a beat. Now?

Now I can't, baby. Why are you so impatient? 😏

***

Jude scratched the back of his head, embarrassed, but decided to be honest.

Mostly I'm just afraid you'll change your mind

After the picture you sent me I can't change my mind

I can't wait to find out what else you're hiding under those clothes

Ah...okay. So-tomorrow night?

Yup

God, I can’t wait

***

Jude went to sleep looking at the picture of the stranger, and during the whole morning he did not stop thinking about it.

That night he would see him,that night perhaps he would...

He was diverted from his daydreaming reverie by a pat on the butt.

He gasped and, of course, Lionel was behind him.

"How did it go last night? No, wait, don't tell me. I'd be jealous and ruin my afternoon."

Jude barely blushed, and was about to tell her about the evening's date when Lionel added, "There will be plenty of time for gossip tonight at dinner anyway."

Jude frowned.

"Tonight? But I don't-"

"Dinner with the team, Jude. It's been planned for a week."

"Shit, that's right. Shit."

Lionel gave him a smile.

"If he really cares, he'll wait, you'll see," she consoled him before leaving him alone.

Jude sighed and pulled out his phone.

For a moment, he thought about making up an excuse and skipping dinner.

But then...there would be Zero.

Maybe they would talk for a while.

And Zero needed him now, after all the trouble with the prostitutes, he couldn't leave him.

He was his friend, if nothing else.

Hey...I'm sorry, I can't tonight after all. I have a business dinner I forgot about. You don't know how sorry I am.

***

Zero--or rather, the mysterious hottie--did not answer him. He too had forgotten about the evening, and at the idea of seeing Jude that evening after what he had found out, the thought of having fun in the chat room was no longer so interesting.

During the dinner they hadn't really talked much to each other. And partly as a push of fate, partly for fun, Zero proposed a place he knew to be different .

***

Jude had thought about ditching everyone after dinner.

The Grindr guy hadn’t responded to him, as he had expected.

Surely he had found someone else to spend the evening with, and Jude felt unwanted and rejected.

He had no desire to go partying.

But both Zero and Lionel had insisted, and now...now they were there.

In a- liberal club.

There were straight, gay, transvestites...lots of alcohol, smoking, and little clothes.

Jude was red-faced, but he couldn't look away from the pairs of guys.

The way they were rubbing against each other, their tongues dancing together, their arm muscles darting under each other's skin...God.

Jude swallowed nervously.

"You have the face of someone who needs a drink."

Zero appeared out of nowhere, with two equivocally colored drinks in his hand.

Jude jerked.

"I...Ah...thank you," he stammered, guzzling half of it in one breath.

It was sweet, but strong.

"This place-do you come here often? I mean, showing up here doesn't help your reputation."

Damn was Zero nice that night.

"No, I had never come here before, but I had been told about it."

Zero kept his answer vague, speaking nonchalantly, as Jude finished his drink and licked his lips.

"Understood. Well, I hope there are no compromising photos in the morning, try not to fuck up, okay? But-have fun," since you can , he mentally added.

Every woman and every man looked at Zero and wanted him. Who could blame them?

"It's about time you had fun too, Jude, you know?"

The voice had been strangely serious, but by the time the other noticed Zero had already disappeared into the runway.

"You know, everybody's drunk and nobody's looking at you," Lionel murmured to Jude, approaching him.

"Why don't you go in there and have some fun?"

She pointed him to the dark room at the back of the club, as Jude stared at her.

When had she arrived?

"Well, you see, I don't feel-it's not a good night, and-"

Lionel slapped his face.

"Don't be stupid, Jude, when is it going to happen again? In that room you'll be in the dark, no one will recognize you, and you can experience whatever you want."

Jude bit his lip.

In fact, several of the boys he had been eyeing had entered there....

He clenched his jaw and marched resolutely on.

Once, just once, he would leave rationality at the door.

He nodded to the bouncer, slipped him $50, and went inside.

***

It was a fluke that the crowd around the dance floor opened at that moment and Zero saw out of the corner of his eye Jude-or someone who looked like him-enter the dark room.

It couldn't be. He wriggled out of the bedlam and shifted so that he was looking at the sofas, expecting to see the familiar profile of Jude sitting, mute.

Instead, he saw Lionel with an ear-to-ear grin. 

"... Fuck."

Chapter Text

The room (or rather, rooms) were not really dark. There were those with bluish, red, orange, etc. lights.

It was true, however, that faces were not recognizable.

One could barely catch a glimpse of the bodies.

Jude leaned against the wall, out of breath. 

What the fuck had he been thinking?

For a moment, he feared he would have a panic attack right there...talking about bad publicity.

***

Zero was inside the dark room before he even thought about it.

He soon realized, however, that finding Jude would not be easy.

And then, when he found him, what would he tell him?

Who cared, he just wanted to drag him out of there.

Or maybe...

***

A man approached him, but Jude turned his back on him.

He had to leave, he had to get out of there. He should never have believed that he could do that.

He was not Zero.

"Thank you, but I don't...here..."

Another man had approached him and did not seem intent on backing out as easily as the other.

"I'm waiting for someone," he said firmly, raising his voice a little.

***

There he is, Zero thought, and followed the voice.

What had he said? Was he waiting for someone?

It was probably an excuse. Unless ... he had also written to someone else the day before.

***

"But he's not here now. And I am," the man retorted, taking another step toward him.

Jude paled.

Now what?

***

A hand slammed into the man's shoulder and squeezed it, hard, as Zero leaned down to whisper something in his ear that Jude wasn’t going to be able to hear.

***

…And now they were fighting over him! It wasn't like he was a trophy to win!!!

"Look, you two," he hissed, clenching his fists.

Apparently whatever the new guy had said to the other one was enough for him to raise his arms and step aside mumbling, "Okay, okay, man, relax."

"Everything okay?" asked Zero as soon as they were alone, and he didn't realize how muffled and distorted by the music and noise his voice was going to be. He thought Jude would recognize him right away, and besides, the idea of pretending as a joke hadn't lasted any longer: it had been enough to see Jude struggling to reveal himself.

"Leave me alone! I don't...I don't want to, it was a mistake, I'm sorry," Jude stammered, hands in front of his chest, keeping him back.

"Okay, okay, take it easy," began Zero, just before three fiery guys behind Jude bumped into him, pushing him into the player's arms.

Jude squeezed him reflexively and shuddered as he touched those muscles.

He wanted to push him away, but couldn’t. And not only because the guy felt strong.

***

"...Quiet...I won't do anything to you," murmured Zero. Where did that voice come from?

Zero had his lips a few centimeters from Jude’s ear, close enough that Jude probably felt his breath on his skin.

***

Jude let out a broken sigh.

The stranger's lips brushed his earlobe and Jude felt his knees tremble.

His emotionless life passed before his eyes, and as much as he could not see his face, his body was perfect.

He tightened his arms around the stranger.

"Too bad," he whispered.

The die was cast.

***

Zero stood open-mouthed for a moment. Jude, his Jude, that is, his agent Jude, in the arms of a stranger - who was him - in a dark room. He didn't know whether to feel jealous or elated.

"...Nothing you don't want, then," he corrected himself, lowering his lips under Jude’s ear and brushing the skin of his neck.

"Ah...God...I don't know what I want," Jude gasped, bending his head to the side, offering him more skin.

"...Looks like you do, to me..."

Sucking slowly on the soft skin between his half-closed lips was a natural consequence.

Jude made a soft sound.

"You are the one who knows...teach me..."

***

Zero chased back a giggle. Jude was desperate for a mentor rather than a lover. He could not have chosen worse than him. He pulled Jude close and searched his lips, blindly, eager to kiss him in a way he had not expected-but which, had he been more accustomed to self-analysis, would not have surprised him.

Jude responded to the kiss, clinging to his shoulders.

"I don't even know what to call you," he wheezed.

"...does it matter?" asked Zero, and wished he had said you really don't recognize me? Instead .

"I want to..."

Jude swallowed.

"I want a name to shout," he murmured timidly.

"Because you're going to make me shout...aren't you?"

Zero slammed him to the wall and pressed himself against Jude. God, that sentence had sent his hormones racing.

"You bet...you can scream the name you want"

Not letting him think about it, he slipped a hand under Jude's shirt and ran for a nipple with his fingertips. God, that picture--he had thought about it so much, now he could admit it.

***

Jude arched toward him, and didn't even have to think about it.

"...Gideon," he gasped.

He bit his cheek. The stranger's fingertips were rough and gave him goosebumps.

***

Zero lost a breath on the way.

"...okay..." he murmured, rubbing his thumb and forefinger over Jude’s skin.

"Ah...I am...Jude..." Jude whispered back, abandoning his head back against the wall, as he lifted his shirt and lowered his head.

"... a pleasure to meet you..." Zero mumbled, just before sucking Jude’s nipple between his lips.

Jude emitted a hoarse groan, as he grabbed Zero's head in his hands to hold it against his chest.

"God..."

He was definitely taking advantage of that - false, but he didn't know it - anonymity. He could have dared anything, it was not going to get out of those four walls. 

Maybe Zero too could have taken advantage of it to do something he had never dared.

Before he had even finished formulating the thought, he had opened Jude’s pants and knelt in front of him.

***

Jude gasped, his eyes wide.

"Oh Christ, you..."

He couldn't believe it.

"shhhhhhhhh"

Jude nodded violently, opening his legs a little wider and running trembling fingers through the guy’s hair.

***

Zero gasped as he pulled Jude’s pants down just enough to reveal the outline of his erection. 

Not seeing clearly helped: he could pretend it was something else-an ice cream? a popsicle? a lollipop? - he told himself, nervously running his tongue over his lips. But with the first taste - nothing more than a blind flick of his tongue - Jude's taste hit him like a slap in the face and took his breath away. It was the most arousing thing he had ever tasted, a distillation of sensuality -- equipped with a handy dropper, it seemed. He licked it again, all the way to the tip, and swallowed, closing his eyes. 

He was drunk, that's what he was, that's why his head was spinning. He was drunk, he was absolutely not ... turned on beyond belief, suddenly, desperately.

***

Jude could not catalog all the sensations the guy was making him feel.

That mouth was willing and knew how to make him come, just as he expected, and Jude almost couldn't breathe.

"Yes...God, yes...you're so good," he moaned, straining to keep his hips steady and not thrust forward as he stroked the guy’s hair and bare shoulders.

He would have done anything to see his face.

***

Zero had now broken his bonds and was sucking enthusiastically-he was drunk, after all-without caring about the moans and sounds he was making.

Jude gasped, desperate, clearly losing control over his own body, which thrust forward.

"Sorry...I’m sorry...Ah, Christ, don't...suck me, suck me..."

Zero pulled back, stifling a cough - fuck, he didn't expect him to move.

He took the opportunity to catch his breath.

And to think. 

He was giving Jude a blowjob.

Better not to think.

He went back to closing his lips on him, clenching his fist around the base of Jude's member and starting to stroke it with quick movements.

"Sorrysorrysorry" Jude moaned as Zero pulled away, obviously terrified that he would leave, but when his mouth returned, aided by a calloused hand, he cried out.

"Gideon," he moaned, "please...I can't resist...fuck me."

Zero’s free hand tightened around one ass cheek. Yes, how gladly he would have fucked him--even there, on top of the dark room's sticky sofas. He would have pushed Jude face down and opened him up with hasty, confident gestures and then buried himself inside him and-

"Just let go, baby, I’ve got you," he murmured, hoarsely, before taking him all in his mouth and sucking him hard.

***

Jude really tried to hold back, but it was a losing battle from the start.

It was the first time a man had touched him and he had lost control.

He pushed himself between those soft lips and came, desperately clinging to the guy's shoulders to stay on his feet.

"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!"

***

Zero sucked enthusiastically. And then he widened his eyes, and coughed, and fuck, he really hoped he didn't have cum on his face and that what was dripping from his chin was saliva.

Jude seemed to come for hours, as if he had never had an orgasm before.

When he was finally drained, he fell to his knees in front of him, pressing his forehead against Zero’s neck.

"Oh god...oh god..."

Zero was panting, and after a few moments he stood up, without saying a word.

"Wait, you're not...let me at least..." Jude extended an arm toward him.

Zero ran a hand through his hair, and the caress was almost tender, before he stepped back, and in a moment his silhouette was no longer recognizable among the others huddled together.

***

Jude stood there, his cock semi-erect out of his pants, the feel of the stranger's fingers on him, and a vision of the darting muscles of his back rapidly receding.

He did not know what he had done wrong.

Or rather, he didn't know what he had done right.

God, what an asshole he had been.

Chapter Text

Zero quickly left the dark room.

And the club.

And if he had been able to, the city.

He got into the car and sped off before Jude had even gotten up.

Fuck, he had been a jerk!

At the first traffic light, still panting, he looked in the mirror and saw them. Little translucent drops of... he furiously ran a hand over his face.

What a fucking mess. And he wasn’t referring to the sperm.

***

Jude got up slowly, adjusting his clothes with his head down.

He walked out of the room with his shoulders hunched and his jacket over his shoulder.

He was almost shaking.

He could not believe what he had done.

If word had gotten out…

"Jude, what is it? What's happened? You're pale as a dead man!" Lionel exclaimed behind him, and Jude looked at her, shocked.

"Take me home, please, I-I have to get out of here."

He didn't even ask if Zero was still there: he couldn't have looked him in the face anyway.

***

When Zero arrived home, the first - unwise - thing he did was pour himself a whiskey. 

After the first sip, he still had the taste of Jude on his tongue. 

"God...did I really suck his cock?" he muttered to himself, looking at his own reflection in the window pane.

***

Jude had sent Lionel home; he didn't want to talk about it.

The worst thing was that he kept feeling aroused, and he couldn't stop thinking about the stranger who had given him the best orgasm of his life.

He sat on the sofa with his head in his hands.

*plin*

Jude sighed.

For a moment he thought about ignoring it, but it could have been Lionel...or even worse, Zero.

Fuck, how could he face Zero after getting his dick sucked while calling his name????

He took his phone and turned on the screen.

Hey baby, what's up? What are you up to?

...it was the last one he expected would write to him. The Grindr guy.

Well, with him he could be honest, he didn't know him anyway.

I just fucked up.

???

Remember the business dinner I told you about? The colleague that I -- the one that makes me doubt, he suggested we go to a club. Well, it was an- open -club.

If it had been closed you wouldn't have been able to go in XD

Don't joke! I'm still in shock!

Sorry. Please go on

Well, I was a little down because you didn't answer me. I thought you found someone else and-well, my boss saw that guys were going to the back of the club

And?

And...so did I

Fuck, that sounded even more stupid now that he was retelling it.

Okay, so where’s the fuck-up?

I let myself be...touched by a stranger

Welcome to the gay world, dude

Don't be an idiot. I had never been touched by anyone before, and-I don't even know his name. He wouldn't let me see him, or reciprocate.

Maybe it was me

Jude stared at the phone.

No, it wasn't possible.

You were there? At Dos Hermanas?

A few minutes of waiting while the other wrote, and then-

I said maybe . Yesterday you wanted to do it with me, didn't you? Would that sound less as a fuck-up if it was?

Jude licked his lips, closing his eyes for a moment and remembering those hands, that mouth, that torso.

Oh God, if it really was him…

Christ, yes, tell me it was you

***

Zero was at the encore of the glass he shouldn't have had .

It was. I still have the taste of you in my mouth

God. Oh God, I can’t believe it

***

Jude shivered on the couch, his body immediately warming up.

Why didn't you let me give you pleasure? I wanted to, so much

Everything was different now. This guy had sought him out, chosen him...had wanted him.

I don't know. you tasted like.... I don't know, but it was too good. It fucked with my head.

***

Zero reread the sentence and blushed, emptying his glass in a gulp. It was fucking true.

Well, I'm glad to hear that. I should have warned you, though, asked your permission before-

Before you came in my mouth, baby?

God, don't remind me! How embarrassing

***

Jude’s body, and especially his member, were not embarrassed at all.

You liked it, though

You know I liked it. You drove me crazy. I can't stop thinking about it...thinking about you

I didn't make you scream, though

Jude swallowed, and then, feeling brave, he wrote you did not fuck me as I asked

Next time

He felt his own erection pressing against his pants but ignored it, otherwise he would have ended up masturbating and he had already disrespected the guy in the dark room.

Will there be a next time? You ran away so fast...you didn't let me touch...taste...or even see

Well, I'm thinking about it now. About your mouth. Would you like there to be a next time?

Jude swallowed nervously.

Are you...thinking about me? Right now?

Oh yes

Just…thinking?

Jude stroked his own thigh, but the picture he received right after was unmistakable.

He groaned.

Christ, that's your dick

Hard 4 U

Me too...you don't know how much...Can I? Tell me I can

You should. You should also send me photos

God...all right

Jude got up from the couch, reaching his room.

He undressed, hesitated for a moment, and took a picture in his boxers.

Then he took them off and lay down in bed, taking another picture.

***

God, you are the hottest thing I’ve ever seen

Zero looked at Jude's photos and had to firmly squeeze the base of his own cock to keep from coming immediately, when he recognized the red marks of his teeth around one nipple.

He blushed as he read what he had written, but it was true.

***

Jude surrendered, licked his palm and cupped it around his own erection with an excited sigh.

I’m touching myself

What are you thinking about?

About how much I wanted to touch you...you don't know how much

No, I don't know...but I want to. Would you have sucked it?

Jude stared at the pictures of the guy. Yes , he thought, but instead he wrote, tell me why you left

***

Zero couldn't answer, he was busy staining his very expensive sofa.

***

Jude's hand was moving faster and faster.

Answer me, please, I'm so close…

You gonna come? 4 me?

I don't...I know...Christ, your mouth, your hands...oh God, just tell me you want me, tell me, even though-

Come on, fuck, of course  want you, I want to hear you shout my name again

Jude's movements suddenly stopped as he came violently, screaming.

No, no, how could he-it was not possible.

With trembling fingers, Jude went into the internet and searched for some photos of Zero, which he then compared with those he received from the stranger.

It's you. It's you, isn't it? It's always been you, that's why you ran away.

?

Don't even try to play dumb. Talk to me, Gideon. Now.

***

"...shit"

Zero swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry.

"...shit, shit, shit! How the fuck did he figure it out?"

Zero reread the last few lines and slammed his forehead on the cell phone screen. Holy fuck.

I won't ask you again

I don’t know what you’re talking about. Good night

***

Jude felt like an idiot.

Zero was only playing with him, then.

He felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

As you wish. I resign, effective immediately

***

What?! No way! I’m rejecting it

"------it’s official, I’m an idiot.”

***

Oh, so it is you

Jude chuckled bitterly, staring at his phone.

I'm sorry, okay?

You made fun of me. You hurt me. I thought I…meant something to you. Although not what you meant to me. I can't work with you anymore.

Oh c'mon, of course you can, I fucked up before

Maybe I can, but I don’t want to. I've made up my mind, Zero. Lionel has offered me a job, and I'm going to take it.

Zero's responses had already thinned out, as if he was taking a while to respond.

This time it took him ten minutes to write again.

I can't do any of this without you

Jude was already crying at that point.

Of course you can. As you said, you fucked up before, and you’re still here

The next noise was not from the cell phone, but from the intercom.

Jude jerked on the bed.

It had to be Lionel, to whom he had written to ask if the job was still available.

He angrily wiped away his tears and slipped into his pajama pants.

He opened the door without looking.

"You didn't have to come, we could have talked in the morning at the Arena."

"Well, I'd rather solve it right away."

He raised his head sharply.

Shit, it was Zero.

He glanced at the door, considering whether he would have been able to lock him out.

He was ashamed of his bare torso, the marks he still bore from their encounter, and his red eyes.

Zero blocked the door with his body. Jude could try to close it, but it would result in a contest of strength.

"You’re not going to quit," he insisted. His breath smelled distinctly of alcohol.

Jude crossed his arms over his chest.

"What I do with my life is my business, Zero. You didn't have the authority before, but now..."

He grimaced.

"Go away."

"...don't quit because of this , at least. I'm sorry, okay? I fucked up, I didn't think that-"

Jude clenched his jaw.

"You didn't think what? That it meant something to me to let go and give myself for the first time?"

"...Well it didn't seem to mean anything, since you did it with a stranger."

Which was me. But you didn't know that. So you're a slut and I'm right . These were Zero's afterthoughts in a nutshell.

Jude stared at him, shocked and hurt by that comment.

"If that's what you think, I don't understand what you're doing in my house," he retorted coldly.

If Zero did not understand why he had done it, that was all he could say.

Of course he would not reveal to him those feelings he had been keeping hidden for years.

Zero stared at him in response and moved, stepping firmly into his house, tired of standing in the doorway.

Jude took two steps back, to get away from him.

He really could not risk standing too close to him.

"No, I mean, I don't know what to think, I didn't...I didn't even know you liked me, okay? Do you like me?"

"Now? Not at all."

"Then you don't need to quit. We just leave everything behind us and move forward."

Jude looked away.

He didn't want Zero to realize how bad he was hurting.

"You're an asshole, Zero, and I want nothing more to do with you. Period."

How could he not understand!

"You can't fucking leave me ! Not now!!!" Zero grabbed Jude by the shoulders, his face inches away.

"I know, I'm an asshole. I'm sorry, I am, I didn't mean to-”

It wasn't the right time for Jude to be enchanted looking at his lips, but there was nothing he could do about it.

"I wasn't making fun of you, Jude. I swear."

Jude instinctively licked his lips.

"You tried, though. And you ran away like that instead of telling me...let me..." his voice was hoarse, no matter how hard he tried to calm himself.

Zero's smell made his head spin. It was too fucking good.

Zero didn't let him finish and leaned in, trying to kiss him, and Jude gasped, pulling back.

"What-what are you doing, no-I said that-"

He stammered, but in reality he had not moved except by half a millimeter.

Zero pulled him in firmly and took possession of his mouth. His lips tasted of whiskey and remorse.

Jude let out a kind of gasp and kissed him with anger, disappointment, and regret, grabbing his hair to hold him there and keep him from pulling away.

He bit his lip in revenge.

Zero choked on a moan and barely pulled away, running his tongue over the mark as he inhaled.

"I had never done it before," he murmured before leaning in to kiss him again, but Jude stopped him with a palm on his chest.

"What?"

"... You know what."

"I want to hear you say it."

"...I had never sucked anyone's cock before"

Jude couldn't stop the moan.

"Fuck"

"Yeah, exactly"

"And what the hell were you doing on Grindr then?" His voice was shaking.

"I like men too. I like to fuck them. But I had never-"

"Well, you didn't want to fuck me."

"...Jesus Christ, Jude. Not there."

"Wait. Does that mean-you want to?"

"...Fuck, yeah, of course I want to! Have you seen yourself?!"

Jude took his hand and slowly, very slowly, brought it to his ass, with a shudder.

Then he lowered his gaze, shyly.

Zero, not at all slowly, pulled against him, squeezing his asscheek with his hand.

Jude swayed slightly.

"Zero...you're drunk...we shouldn’t," he wheezed, as Zero began to push him toward the bedroom.

"I'm not that drunk," he protested before kissing him again.

"Yes, you are. And I don't want to see you disappear again in the morning."

They arrived next to the bed and Zero pulled away long enough to remove his shirt.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jude."

Jude stared at him, more excited than ever before.

"Shit, Gideon, you're so-"

Zero kissed him again, hungry, without letting him finish the sentence.

"Lube. Condoms. Where do you keep them?" he demanded.

Jude giggled breathlessly. The kiss had convinced him, and his eyes were already glazed over.

"...Just give me a minute."

He ran to the bathroom, where he kept the supplies.

Zero finished undressing down to his boxers, and lay in bed to wait for him.

Jude grabbed the package and the bottle, then took a few minutes to calm down.

He wanted Zero, of course he wanted him, though...between the alcohol, the revelations, and the fight...maybe they should have waited.

As he wondered, a strange buzzing sound reached him from the bedroom.

He went back out and the sight that greeted him warmed his heart: Zero had fallen asleep in his bed.

Jude laughed softly, then sighed, turned off the light and lay down beside him, covering them both.

They would decide tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Jude woke up by himself.

He stretched with a resounding yawn, then looked around, rubbing his eyes.

The bed was warm, and the pillow next to his had a stain of saliva on it.

He leapt up, his eyes wide open, as suddenly the events of the previous night came back to him.

Grindr...Zero...the dark room...the conversation...the kissing.

He flushed as he remembered his own boldness and then smiled to himself as he thought back to Zero's relaxed face when he had returned to the room.

He looked like a little boy without his usual arrogant expression.

Jude looked around, noticing Zero's shoes and pants on the floor next to the bed, and reassured himself.

Without pants he couldn't have gone far.

The sound of the bathroom faucet turning on seemed to answer him, and a few moments later Zero opened the door. He closed the bathroom light and blindly approached the bed again, not noticing that Jude was awake.

As much as he had rationally known that Zero was home, seeing him dispelled any of Jude’s residual anxiety.

"Hello," he murmured, shyly. "For a moment, I thought..."

Zero gasped and stiffened slightly.

"...hello," he answered, and seemed undecided whether to go back to lying down or not. He looked almost funny, with his knee resting on the mattress, suspended in midair on one leg like a flamingo.

Jude moved the blanket, in a clear invitation, and Zero released the breath he had been holding and stretched out on the mattress, immediately turning toward Jude and watching him curiously as his eyes adjusted to the semi-darkness again.

"...Did you think I was gone?"

Jude blushed.

"Yeah."

He hesitated for a moment, then lay down, turned to Zero in turn.

"... Well, I thought you were going to kick me out, so ... "

Jude extended a hand toward him.

"No one else has ever slept with me, Zero. As much as you might think-I don't take these things lightly."

Zero huffed.

"...I do. Usually."

"Usually...?"

Not that Jude was surprised. He knew Zero liked sex, and a lot of it. With a lot of different people, some of which he was willing to pay , even.

"... Yeah. I mean, you know the way I am. I didn't mean to tease you, you--I like you, Jude, a lot--and if you want a fuckbuddy that would be great. But ... I'm afraid if you want a story , I'm definitely not the right person."

Jude swallowed.

"No, look...I tried that last night. And after two hours I was still thinking about the guy in the dark room, I was considering going back to the club today and paying to see some recordings to know who else was there last night. For me there is no sex without feelings."

He sighed.

"Not to mention...you know who I was thinking about in that room. And you know to get who out of my head I joined Grindr."

With a sad smile, he shrugged.

"Something tells me that having sex with you wouldn't help me move on."

Zero sighed, a little melodramatically. Too bad, he liked Jude. Quite a lot. 

Enough to, he recalled with a shudder.

Jude suddenly felt cold.

"Well, then...I'm going to go shower and get dressed," he muttered, pulling himself up.

He couldn't stay in that bed a minute longer.

Zero let go of him, lying in bed and indeed turning supine and spreading himself as a bearskin while Jude went to the bathroom.

Upon returning to the room with a towel tied around his waist, Jude tripped over his own feet, clinging to the doorframe to keep from falling.

He had expected Zero dressed, not...like that.

Fuck, he looked good.

"Zero..."

Zero rose up and looked at Jude -- head to toe, for the record -- with a serious expression.

He couldn't stop thinking about the night before. About the taste of Jude and his red eyes, how his own name murmured by him sounded, how the words I quit sounded.

"Maybe we can try," he threw out, and really meant to say I don't want to let you leave .

Jude, who was still staring between his legs, looked up sharply.

"Try...?"

"Well, I always thought I would never get involved with anyone..."

Swallowing, Jude approached the bed, cautious.

"But...?"

"I mean, it would be something new for both of us."

Jude stared at him in disbelief.

"Are you saying that you want to try a relationship with me? An exclusive relationship?"

Because he would not agree to share him with anyone else, under no condition.

"I'm saying that I'd rather have you and no one else than everyone else and not you."

At least for now.

Jude gave a hopeful smile.

"Are you serious...Gideon?"

Zero grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him in, practically forcing him to lie on top of him.

"I'm dead serious."

Jude gasped, trying to pull himself up and ending up sitting on Zero's lap.

He wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Then..."

He leaned over and captured his lips.

Oh, yes.

Zero returned the kiss eagerly, pulling Jude even closer, and Jude rotated his hips, rubbing himself on Zero's erection with a gasp.

"Mh...yeah, baby..."

"Ah...Zero...do you...want me now?" Jude asked hoarsely, without stopping moving against him.

Zero ran a hand down his back to the towel, and slipped under it, squeezing a buttock in his palm firmly.

Jude groaned, hiding his face against his neck.

Zero slowly moved his hand between Jude’s asscheeks, rubbing his fingers there.

"And you, do you want me, Jude?"

"God...yes, of course I want you...I have for years, Christ," moaned Jude arching with a gasp.

"Fuck, why didn't you tell me sooner, hmm?"

"Because you were fucking prostitutes?"

"Good point," muttered Zero, moving his face to nibble on Jude’s neck.

"No more, okay? No more, please...Ah...I understand that your sex drive is high, but...I will always be available," Jude wheezed.

"Always?" asked Zero, rubbing a fingertip over his opening.

"Yes, yes," Jude murmured, "always, if in return..."

"If in return...?"

Jude rubbed his nose against Zero’s cheek.

"If in return you only fuck me," he mumbled embarrassedly.

"Okay..."

Jude's eyes were already dark with desire.

"You can start right now, if you want..."

"Lube and condom, please?"

Jude chuckled, his breath already short, and leaned over to the side of the bed where he had left them, offering them to Zero as he blushed.

Zero threw him a mischievous little smile as he uncapped the lube and poured some into his hand.

"Tell me..."

Jude made a questioning sound, his gaze fixed on Zero's hands.

"Did you go there with women, or are you virgin-virgin?"

Jude glowed.

"Of course-of course I've been with women!" He protested.

Three, to be exact.

"Well, what do I know? I was just asking."

Zero moved a hand behind him and returned to caressing him between the cheeks, this time more slippery , and Jude gasped at the sensation.

Zero reached his opening and slowly rubbed his fingertip there, then pressed lightly.

"Ah!" Jude jerked, then he grabbed Zero’s shoulders, settling better against him.

"Is-is this okay or do you want me to...move?"

"Whatever you want. I've never fucked a virgin, you know?"

Jude shuddered.

"Guide me...teach me."

"Just relax, and tell me if I hurt you," murmured Zero, with an unusually tender tone.

"No...I like your hands," Jude replied in a shy whisper.

Zero pressed the tip of his finger into him a little more, and Jude keened, closing his eyes.

They were not in the ideal position; Zero knew better than to prepare Jude properly from there. But watching his face so closely as he touched him where no one - no one! - had ever touched him, was exhilarating.

Jude swayed his hips slightly, uncertain.

"Good boy..."

Zero began massaging his opening, with slow and strangely gentle touches, going in and out of him repeatedly, and pushing his finger deeper and deeper little by little.

Zero was so...beautiful, exciting, everything Jude had always wanted, and how he touched him...his body seemed to sing with each touch.

He wanted it more with each passing minute. God, he was screwed.

"I can...I can take more, come on, don't make me wait..."

"Lie down then."

Jude nodded and obeyed, letting Zero reverse their positions and push him supine onto the mattress.

His gaze was unfocused, and his cheeks flushed.

Zero turned and took a moment to look at him, before kneeling beside him and adding some lube in his hand.

Jude blushed furiously but did not look away, as he opened his legs.

"You know you’re hot, right?"

As he spoke, Zero slid his hand between Jude’s legs and pressed two fingers against his opening.

Jude moaned, hiding his face under his arm.

"No, I-I'm nobody. It's you who...fuck, Gideon, you have no idea..."

"Oh, I know I’m hot.... "

He began to slowly slide his fingers into Jude.

"Or do you mean I have no idea how much you like me?"

"Jesus...Ah! Bo-both," Jude gasped.

"This feels…nice."

"Well...I sure hope so"

Jude wanted to laugh, but a half sob came out of him.

God, those fingers...

Zero pushed himself deeper and rotated his fingers, searching with his fingertips for that spot inside Jude.

Jude's eyes went wide with a cry, arching toward him.

"Zero...! Oh God, do it again!"

"You bet, baby..."

Zero repeated the movement, with more confidence, and Jude groaned again, grabbing his biceps.

"Pro-prostate?"

"Yup. You're well-versed on the theory, hmm?"

"Yes...I read...mmmm"

"Porn stories, huh?"

Zero tried to touch him more firmly, finger-fucking him basically.

"Jesus! Zero! Fuck me, fuck me, God!" shouted Jude, aroused to the point of bursting.

Zero was gorgeous like that, intense and focused on him.

"Yes? You think you ready, huh?"

Zero slipped his fingers off him.

"I can't take it anymore either..."

Jude pulled his legs up, then pulled them down again and spread them wide.

"How...what..."

Zero moved between Jude’s legs and grabbed him behind the knees, pulling his legs up and leaning toward him. 

"I'll do it, you just follow me"

He looked at Jude from that angle and a shiver ran down his spine. He leaned down to kiss him, passionately.

Jude moaned, kissing him back, abandoning himself in his arms.

"Always...I've always followed you, Gideon."

Another shudder. Jude would get him into trouble, Zero was sure of it.

He pulled himself up, putting a few reassuring inches of air between them, and opened the condom unrolling it over his own erection. He quivered at the contact: he had been so focused on Jude that he hadn't realized how aroused he was.

"Fuck..."

Jude reached out his fingers and grazed Zero's hard member, licking his lips.

"Oh yes," he murmured, "well said. Then you'll let me taste it, won't you?"

"You say then , baby...I don't even know how long I'll last inside you."

He leaned back against Jude’s ass and hips. 

"...I'm afraid it will be a disappointing first time..."

Jude looked into his eyes, all his passion and desire clearly reflected on his face.

"It's you inside me...it could never be disappointing," he murmured, hoarsely, stroking Zero’s shoulders.

"Besides...who said we only have to do it once?"

Zero leaned down again and stole his lips with an intense kiss.

Shit, he was already screwed.

He pulled away from Jude’s lips and helping himself with a hand pushed into him, slowly.

Jude gasped, unable to breathe as his body opened up for the first time.

He shivered and could not stop looking at Zero.

It was a moment he would never forget.

How on earth could one have sex without feelings?

He groaned in despair.

Zero stared back at him. It felt different from any other fuck in his life.

He continued to slide carefully into him.

"Zero, dear God...this is...devastating...Christ," he gasped, arching, trying to take more, faster, not wanting to wait any longer.

"... Do I hurt you...?"

"No!" shouted Jude, grabbing his arms "don't you dare stop...go on, take me"

Zero lifted his legs and with a thrust of his hips entered him completely, with a groan.

"Jesus Christ! Gideon!"

Jude's cry echoed through the house, and the neighbors had certainly heard it, but he didn't give a shit.

Zero was...inside him.

Zero bent down, resting his forehead against Jude’s chest. He needed to catch his breath, to regain control. Jude wasn't making it easy for him at all though, stroking the back of his neck and shoulders, panting hard.

His ass was burning, but he had never felt happier.

"God... Jude..." murmured Zero, starting to move inside him.

"Yeah, baby, so...so...fucking hot," mumbled Jude with his eyes closed.

Zero stifled a laugh against his neck.

"Gimme a break," protested Jude with a gasp.

His brain wasn't all there, surely Zero didn't expect him to be coherent!

An unexpected push wrenched another groan from him, which erased any other thought.

Zero lifted himself onto his knees, beginning to fuck him enthusiastically.

Each thrust was a cry, Jude tightened his thighs around Zero's hips trying to help him, take him deeper, make him reach-

"JESUS CHRIST, THERE "

"Do you like it? Do you like that? God, Jude..."

He tried to hit that spot again and again, increasing the speed of the thrusts.

"Great...that's great, you're fucking great, Zero, fuck me, fuck me always, forever, Ah, God, yes!"

Jude seemed unable to stop talking, moaning, panting, repeating Zero's name. He was going crazy; he had never felt so out of control.

Zero was trying to restrain himself, but it wasn't easy with the other reacting to his urges that way. There had always been chemistry between them, but this was beyond that.

Jude pushed his fingers through Zero’s hair, pulling hard to guide Zero's mouth onto his own, which was already wet and open and just waiting to be kissed.

He emitted a sort of growl as he continued to move his hips.

"Is that how you used to fuck those prostitutes?" he hissed against his lips.

"... I wasn't kissing them..."

"And what were you doing with them then? Show me..."

Zero shook his head, shushing him with another kiss and beginning to jerk him off.

Jude moaned into his mouth as his member hardened even more between Zero's rough fingers.

"Mmmmm"

Zero continued to fuck and caress and kiss him, almost afraid that the other would insist on that talk if he pulled away.

Jude was freaking out.

His body was in sensory overload and he couldn't breathe.

"Zero...oh God, Zero, I'm going to come," he sobbed, pulling away from his lips, gasping.

Thank God, Zero couldn't have held on a minute longer.

He lifted himself a little, just enough to push harder into him, against his most sensitive spot.

Jude saw the stars, the planets and all the saints as fireworks exploded behind his eyelids.

He arched with a gasp, splashing his own pleasure against Zero's sculpted abs, repeating his name in a hoarse, desperate voice.

He clung to him convulsively as his body trembled, contracting around him.

Zero clutched his hips, groaning hoarsely. 

"Oh God yes, baby, yes... Ah! Fuck... "

He thrust hard into Jude, releasing himself with a cry.

Chapter Text

Jude continued to pant, his heart pounding wildly, and he knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

He was already imagining the sensations without a condom between them, how full and complete he would feel.

"... God... Jesus... Jude..." mumbled Zero with his eyes closed.

"Gideon..." sighed Jude, stroking his back with trembling fingers.

Zero rubbed his face against his cheek, almost dreamily, before remembering he had a reputation. God, he would have stayed inside him all day.

He reluctantly slipped out, before making a mess of the condom.

Jude made a disappointed noise.

"You could have stayed a little longer," he mumbled in a slurred, hoarse voice.

Zero tied and tossed the condom and then lay down next to him again, just enough to be in contact with him without having to hug him.

Jude looked up at him, uncertain, biting his already swollen and reddened lip.

He didn't know what right he had to expect, if he could hug him, kiss him, snuggle against him....

It was all too new for him, and he still felt Zero inside.

Zero looked at him curiously, so Jude brushed his arm with his fingers.

"You're...far away," he murmured, embarrassed.

But he felt cold, and he felt lonely and empty even though Zero was beside him.

Zero smiled, a kind of affectionate grin, and moved a hand to his back, pulling him against him. 

"Better? "

Jude had asked him: honor was saved.

Jude sighed satisfied and relieved.

"Yes..."

He closed his eyes, kissing Zero’s shoulder.

"Now I don't know if...I mean, I've never..."

He cleared his throat.

"What do I have to do to keep you from running away again?"

Zero chuckled. 

"We'll find out... I ’ve never either, after all "

Jude smiled at him, tired, happy, and maybe a little in love.

He hoped Zero didn't notice.

"If I do something you don't like...tell me," he murmured with a yawn.

Zero leaned over and slowly sucked Jude’s lower lip between his own.

The next sigh was tremulous.

Jude had certainly not forgotten Zero's words from just before.

".. So you're gay because of me?"

Jude glared at him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Zero, even you can't be that conceited," he retorted, patting his arm.

"Before you, though...I resisted."

Zero snickered. 

"Did you think it was better if you pretended to be straight?"

"It was the only option I had. For a while, I even thought I was asexual. Then I met you, and. Well."

He lowered his gaze, embarrassed.

"Oh, well, asexual after seeing and hearing you, I would rule it out."

Zero grinned and went down to grope his ass.

Jude gasped.

"I barely even touch myself, practically, before I started working for you," he muttered, shuddering.

"That's why I don't know anything about anything."

"Shit, Jude, if you keep this up I'm going to get turned on again,” Zero huffed, and Jude made a soft sound.

"And where would be the problem if I turned you on again?" he murmured, stroking Zero’s thigh.

“I liked you too, I mean, before yesterday,” Zero continued, “but I don't usually sleep with people I have to see every day afterward. I've always been more of a one-night stand type of guy, as you know."

Jude blushed.

"Really? But I..."

His father had told him a thousand times that he was worthless and that no one would ever be interested in him.

"But you what?"

Jude shook his head and went down to kiss Zero’s neck and jaw, then behind his ear.

He didn't want to give the other man any more reason to consider him a pathetic loser.

Zero moaned, lying supine as if to let him as Jude sucked his earlobe between his lips.

"You said after , now it's after , right?"

Zero chuckled.

"Now it's give me time to catch my breath , honey."

He spread his arms wide. 

"Do you want to have fun getting it up for me? I'm all yours."

Jude smirked, sitting on Zero's hips and slowly moving his own, rubbing himself on him.

"Is that a challenge? You don’t think I can do it?"

"Oh, baby, after today I think you can do anything..."

Ignoring the blush that was surely staining his cheeks, Jude went down to kiss Zero's chest, licking one of his nipples.

He had liked it before; who knows if Zero liked it too?

He nibbled on it and Zero moaned, hoarsely, arching his back.

"Then you like it too," murmured Jude, trying to suck it this time, as he rubbed his thumb over the other nipple, curious.

"Everybody likes it, I think-Oh!"

Jude smiled at him and sucked more enthusiastically.

He tried to imagine what it would be like to suck Zero's cock instead of his nipple.

Zero moved a hand through Jude’s hair, with an appreciative murmur.

"Ah...good...I see you're...mmh...having fun..." he chuckled, a little short of breath.

Jude moaned, delighted, taking to lapping the other nipple while stroking his hips, hungrily.

"...I bet you have a lot of...mhh...fantasies..."

Jude kissed his chest, his eyes dark with desire.

"So many," he murmured.

"And I also have so many questions..."

"Well... begin, then..."

With fantasies or questions, his choice.

Jude slid down, brushing the tip of his tongue over Zero's abs and then his hips and navel.

"I want to know what you were doing with the prostitutes you were paying."

"...again with this?"

"I want to know-I haven't stopped thinking about it since I heard," he kissed his belly below his navel.

"I’ll do whatever you want, if you tell me."

"You're already doing what I want…"

Jude barely held back a moan.

God, Zero was the most exciting thing…

He swallowed, going down again but stopping just millimeters from his cock.

"Tell me," he murmured, his hot breath caressing Zero’s wet skin.

"There's not much to tell, Jude, it's just more comfortable. I wasn't doing anything special with them."

"More...comfortable?" Jude brushed the length with his lips.

"Yes... Ah...a cheap transaction...no hassle...no risk of finding clingy girls...or careerist..."

"Clingy...or careerist...like me?" A little kiss at the base.

Zero choked on a laugh.

"Oh, yeah, I can see you going to the magazines tomorrow to give an interview about how I fuck."

"I could...you fuck like a God, Gideon," Jude murmured before sucking the tip in his mouth.

Zero propped his elbows on the mattress and cast a glance at Jude, licking his lips at seeing him, and sighed.

Jude tried to lick the slit, moaning at the taste that invaded his mouth.

"Ahh!...damn...do you like it?"

In response, Jude slowly went down a couple of inches and up again, then sucking the tip once more, his gaze fixed on Zero's face.

Zero arched his neck back and moaned, hoarse.

Jude picked up the pace, slow and unsteady, never sucking past half of Zero's dick for fear of failing.

But he fucking loved it.

"Ahh...god, baby, you torture me like that, though..."

Making a questioning sound from the back of his throat, Jude stroked Zero’s balls, uncertain.

"Add a hand, hmm?"

Jude nodded and clenched his free fist around the part he couldn't suck, trying to move it in the same rhythm as his mouth.

Judging by Zero's groan, it was a very good idea.

"Aah...yes, just like that..fuck..."

Jude felt heat in his chest and strained harder, rewarded by his partner's cock getting harder.

"Jude...god... "

Jude moaned, desperate.

He wanted proof that Zero really wanted him , that he was the one turning him on.

He wanted to drive him crazy, as Zero had done to him.

He went back to stroking the base and thighs, welcoming another inch or two into his mouth.

"Ah..AH...stop...fucking stop !"

Jude remained motionless as his heart missed a beat.

He pulled back, remaining on his knees between Zero's legs, his chin wet with saliva and precome, his lips swollen and pupils dilated, panting.

What had he done? Had he done something wrong?

Zero snapped sitting up and clawed the back of Jude’s neck with his hand, pulling him in and kissing him roughly.

Groaning, Jude pressed himself against him.

"What were you going to do, mh? Taste me? I was about to come in your mouth, if you kept it up."

Jude shuddered.

"I wanted to...see if...I was good enough for you," laughed Jude in a voice hoarse from exertion.

"You don’t have to be called up for the national team, it's not like it's a competition."

Zero bit his throat, as he pulled Jude into his arms.

"You are so amazing, though. You made me feel...and I..."

Jude was breathless as Zero encircled his waist with his arms and continued to slowly nibble on his neck.

He enjoyed it all too much, sex with him.

Jude trembled in his arms.

"Gideon..."

He sighed at the sound of his name. Damn, he had to be careful not to fall too fast.

Jude kissed his shoulder.

"Gideon, I want you again," he murmured.

"...and then I'm the one with the high sex drive, uh..."

Jude blushed.

"Come on, don't embarrass me...I have about fifteen years to make up for..."

Zero slid his hand down Jude’s body to his groin and slowly stroked his throbbing erection.

The meowling sound that came from Jude’s throat made him turn purple with shame.

"Then let's start from adolescence...touch me too, come on..."

"Oh God...don't..." but even as Jude spoke, he was already moving back to Zero, clenching his fist around the base and taking to caressing him.

He was trembling.

Zero kissed him again, stifling a moan on his lips as he stroked him slowly, matching his own rhythm with Jude's on him.

Jude gasped, swaying his hips, trying not to stop masturbating Zero, but it was terribly difficult.

His head was spinning.

"Zero...don't make me come, I don't want to...Ah..."

"You don't want to come?"

Jude shook his head, shivering.

"I want to come with you...inside me," he murmured, pressing his face against Zero's shoulder.

"Do you really want me to fuck you again?"

Zero was almost surprised. Pleasantly.

Jude lifted his gaze to him, blinking.

"Why do you ask? Didn't...didn't you like it?"

"Oh, I did. But the first time usually hurts...doesn't it?"

Jude blushed, shaking his head.

"No...it felt so good...but..." he bit his lip, uncertain, not sure how Zero would react.

"Wouldn't you like to maybe..."

He swallowed.

".............what?"

Jude hid his face against Zero's neck.

" Takemebare ," he mumbled.

Zero blinked, surprised, and pulled away from him to look him in the eye.

Jude was purple, and escaped his gaze.

".... you sure, Jude?"

Zero took his chin to look at his face.

"... I'm clean, of course, I always use condoms, when I ... well."

"I want to feel you inside," Jude stuttered, "Even after...you're done."

He had seen all his latest tests anyway, he knew Zero was clean.

"....ok..."

Jude bit his lip.

"If you don't want to, that's okay.... "

"Are you joking? Of course I do!"

Jude looked away, uncertain and Zero ran a hand over his chest.

"....wanna ride me, baby?"

"I don't know if I can..but of course I want to," wheezed Jude.

Zero smiled and lay supine again, crossing his arms behind his head.

He liked to see Jude daring, experimenting.

Jude sat in Zero's lap, his hands on his hips.

"What...tell me how to do it."

"Start with taking the lube."

Jude obeyed, opening the tube and squeezing some lube into his palm.

"Now slick me."

With a shudder, Jude spread the liquid over Zero's erection, stroking it with both hands.

Zero licked his lips, looking at him mischievously. His manners were adorable.

"I should take a picture of you, you have a great expression right now."

Jude glowed, but continued to prepare him, focused.

"Ok, baby, I'm ready, a little more and I'll come a long way from your ass."

Jude laughed softly, embarrassed, and let him go, lifting himself onto his knees.

"Will you...put it in?"

"Oh no, Jude, I want to watch you take what you want...."

He waved his fingers behind his head to emphasize the arms crossed concept.

Jude then took a deep breath, and as he held Zero's dick still with one hand on the base, he moved and descended on it, with a choked gasp when he felt it enter his body again, this time skin to skin.

"Oh, God..."

He grabbed Zero’s shoulders, while Zero closed his eyes and inhaled sharply.

"Shit...yes..."

"It's beautiful...Christ, Zero, it's-I feel you inside..." Jude kept going down, one inch at a time, moist and wet, and it was maddening.

Zero bit his lips. It was so hard to stay still...

Jude rolled his hips with a groan.

"God, I'll never use condoms again," he gasped, finally reaching the base, his ass pressed against Zero's thighs.

His body throbbed, contracted, getting used to Zero's length again.

"Neither will I...fuck...it had been years since..."

Jude took to moving, as if dancing against Zero, with panting and broken sounds.

"It's great...great...Ah, yes, yes”

"... Fucking... You’re...."

It was incredible.

Jude had never felt anything like it.

Zero's hard cock, dripping inside him, making penetration easier, and the pleasure increased each time he took it all the way in.

Suddenly he realized that arching his back was stimulating his prostate, and he repeated the movement.

Zero moaned and arched toward him, moving his hands and placing them on Jude’s thighs.

"Yes, honey...just like that..."

"Guide me, baby...oh God, I can't do it...it's too much," sobbed Jude, rising and falling with dry movements that stimulated his prostate repeatedly.

"You're doing great...So damn great, yes...."

He grabbed him by the hips, to support him and accompany his movements.

"Right there!" Jude groaned, continuing to move sensually. His body was like liquid.

"God...you are beautiful, do you know that you are beautiful...?"

"No...I don't know...tell me, tell me, you are gorgeous...Gideon..."

"Ah, you are... You are... fucking-Jude..."

He moved his hand to Jude’s erection and began stroking it, following his movements.

"Tell me more...talk to me...Christ, your voice, Zero...you have no idea what you do to me."

Zero whimpered, thrusting his hips up toward Jude.

"I want you...I always want you, Gideon."

Jude arched up and took it all, again and again.

"God yes...always...fuck, Jude, you are amazing...I want to see you come, baby..."

Jude hid his face against Zero's shoulder with a choked sound as he contracted around him and tried at the same time to push himself back and forward.

"Yes-I am, Ah!, I am-"

With a hoarse groan, he came, violently, shuddering.

He did not stop moving, however, he wanted to feel it, wanted everything Zero had to offer.

Zero tightened his hand around his erection, accompanying his orgasm with firm strokes, and came almost immediately after him, upon feeling him contract. He arched thrusting into him, with a cry.

"Ah! God, yes! Jude!"

Jude gasped, his eyes wide, at feeling himself filled with Zero's hot pleasure.

"Fucking-Gi...Gideon, God Christ, yes," he moaned, almost sobbing.

He contracted again, instinctively, prolonging Zero's pleasure.

"Ah...fuck, baby, you look.... gorgeous..."

"Yours, all yours if you want me," gasped Jude, lacing his arms around Zero’s neck and continuing to move his hips slowly in concentric circles.

He wanted to feel Zero move inside him.

His member gave a jump, trying valiantly to harden again.

Zero moaned, encircling his back with his arms and holding Jude against himself, almost cradling him.

Jude shuddered, but returned the embrace, snuggling against him so that Zero could not get out of him.

"I'm a great teacher, aren't I?" muttered Zero against his ear.

Jude let out a weak moan.

"Fuck, Zero, you are...you drive me crazy," he replied in a rough voice.

Zero chuckled. 

"Yes, ditto. "

He rubbed his nose against Jude’s neck, purring.

"Tell me we can stay in bed all day..."

Jude smiled, pleased.

He knew it wasn't possible, Zero had practice and he had to see Lionel...by the way.

"Zero, look...maybe I should quit anyway?"

Zero clutched at him.

"Why would that be?"

Jude swallowed.

"Because you...I mean..." he sighed.

"I was already too much into you before all this. I made a scene at you without really having any right to. Now that-if something were to happen or if you got fed up or found someone easier to be with..." he grimaced.

"I know I'm needy and pathetic, but I don't want to feel bad about it."

"Yes, you are needy, but-if I get tired of it, you can quit then. In the meantime..."

Zero snapped a kiss on his lips.

"I don't want to have to look for another agent I can trust."

Zero's response hurt Jude a little, but what else could he expect? Declarations of love?

He didn’t make him run yet, that should have been enough for the moment.

"We'll see...I'll have to think about it," he murmured. "In the meantime...will you stay inside me?"

"Until you get a cramp from the position..."

"I can lie down," Jude protested. "I'm not ready yet for...you know."

Zero muttered an assent, continuing to hold him tight.

Jude stifled another yawn against his shoulder.

"It's early...why don’t we sleep some more?"

Zero huffed a laugh.

“Go ahead, babe. I’ll be here when you wake up.”