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In the name of survival

Summary:

Thire headbutted the other cadet on top of him, uncaring of the shocked yelp, and took the opportunity to switch their positions. The noise in the room grew louder as he gripped the cadet by the throat.
“Ni ceta,” Thire whispered, mindful of Sergeant Reau watching them.
It was him or them and Thire had no intention of dying today. He squeezed.

(BTHB: Secret revealed)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Thire believed he had settled into the Guard with grace. Some of the older command staff whispered about him in the first months of his deployment but eventually that stopped. Or they had gotten better at hiding when they were gossiping about him.

It’s about the oddity of having a CC in a lieutenant position rather than as a commander or even captain, he thinks. If he was older, he might have been directly assigned such a position but the high death rates from Geonosis meant he was deployed earlier than recommended. Regardless, he adjusted to the conditions easier than a lot of the others.

The only thing he was at odds with was the command sparring sessions. Naturally, not all of the command staff were able to attend at the same time which he took advantage of for the first three months. Stone was the one who finally caught him.

“Thire, a word.” Commander Stone called as he tried to duck down the hallway.

Reluctantly, Thire waited by the wall as the commander caught up with him.

“Sir.”

Commander Stone crossed his arms over his chest. “Did you see that sparring is on this evening?”

Thire knew he wouldn’t fool the commander. “Yes sir.”

“I know you haven’t been able to make it to one so far because of scheduling but I expect to see you there tonight.”

“Yes sir.” His lips twitched downwards.

Commander Stone nodded. “Good. Don’t be nervous, the others are looking forward to you joining in.”

“I’ll make sure I attend,” Thire relented.

Message delivered, Commander Stone let him continue on his way. Thire was not looking forward to this evening.

In the end, he ended up running twenty minutes late. One of the newer vod coming off patrol needed help walking to the medbay. His squad could have helped, but Thire saw how exhausted they all were and dismissed them.

Unfortunately, it meant that all eyes were on him when he tried to sneak into the closed-off room. All three commanders, Hound, and the CMO were already inside. He had no idea whether this was the normal numbers the group had or not.

“Sorry for being late sirs,” Thire apologised nervously. “I had to escort a trooper to the medbay.”

Being in the room set him on edge. Its small size and blank, white walls reminded him of the training rooms back on Kamino.

“You’re fine. We were deciding on who we were pairing up with anyways,” Commander Thorn waved his apology off.

Thire kept a respectful distance from the rest of the group, sticking closer to Hound who he’d interacted with a handful of times.

“They were going to stick me with you but thought I’d be too rough,” Hound broke the tension with a joke.

“He bites,” CMO Plasma jeered. “Just like his namesake.”

Commander Thorn scoffed. “Not like you have a leg to stand on. You’re the one who likes to use nerve strikes, Plasma.”

Thire managed a small smile. It was hard to speak past his painfully tight throat.

“Who am I with then?”

“I volunteered,” Commander Stone said.

He tuned out the chatter from the sidelines as the commander took him over the rules before they started the first spar. It was simple: Nothing lethal, go until surrender, and tap twice to back out. Aside from his bucket, the armour stayed on. At Fox’s command, they started.

They circled each other on the thin mat. Thire watched the commander warily, ready to defend himself. The blood rushing in his ears blocked out the noise the present command staff made when he blocked Stone’s kick.

The force almost made him stumble as he swept a leg out to counter his partner. Punches were traded back and forth, quickly devolving into a fist fight as they stopped dodging each other.

Thire snarled, adrenaline surging, when his back hit the mat as Stone grappled him to the ground. He slammed an elbow into the commander’s stomach, sweat beginning to trickle down his face.

“Atin1,” Commander Stone said breathlessly.

His heart raced at the casual mando’a. The last time he had sparred with someone who spoke mando’a had been back in the unrecorded training circle he had forcefully participated in.

The commander’s face morphed into a bruised fifth-cycle cadet. Sergeant Reau lurked at the edge of his vision. The cadet’s hold on him tightened, turning into a looser chokehold with the hand around his neck squeezed lightly.

“Akaanir2, cadet.” Sergeant Reau ordered.

Thire headbutted the other cadet on top of him, uncaring of the shocked yelp, and took the opportunity to switch their positions. The noise in the room grew louder as he gripped the cadet by the throat.

“Ni ceta,3” Thire whispered, mindful of Sergeant Reau watching them.

It was him or them and Thire had no intention of dying today. He squeezed.

Someone tore him off the other cadet, dragging him away and firmly pressing him into the ground. He tried to stab them with the knife he kept hidden away under his vambrace but that was also wrestled away from him.

“Taylir4!”

The barked order made Thire freeze. He held in place, obeying Sergeant Reau, as he was kept in a restraining hold. He lay still, quietly gasping for air as the adrenaline faded away. He smelled coffee, which was odd because Sergeant Reau would only drink shig or water.

The realisation came slowly.

He blinked the sudden blurriness out of his eyes and came face to face with the thin blue mat he had been sparring on with Commander Stone. Nausea writhed threateningly in his stomach.

“Udesii5,” the person on top of him murmured when he started to shake.

Shame engulfed him as a pair of boots came into view.

“Stone’s fine,” Thorn murmured. “Just a few bruises. You got him off quickly.”

That he could have killed the commander if nobody was there, went unsaid. The guilt made his stomach cramp harshly. Thire couldn’t stop himself from retching, stomach contracting painfully as he heaved.

------------------------------

 

When Fox had sent Stone to make sure Thire started attending the bi-weekly sparring sessions, he had almost expected the lieutenant to not show up. Thire was skittish for a trooper. He was happily surprised when the young CC had arrived, albeit late.

It was a smaller group than normal but hopefully that would make the lieutenant feel more at ease. They had all noticed that Thire kept himself distant from the others despite jumping to help a trooper in need.

Thire was also one of the only troopers who appeared unphased to the rough treatment they all got. It was more than just a bluff too.

Thorn had needed to step in when a senator was heckling the lieutenant outside of the senate one time. Afterwards, when he had checked in with Thire the lieutenant had been drawn tight but was otherwise normal. He acted like the abuse and threats were nothing new.

When he signalled for Stone and Thire to begin, Fox had thought that this attitude would remain. He was pleasantly surprised to see Thire fighting back, an edge of viciousness in him. It took Stone some effort to wrangle the lieutenant into a chokehold, which Fox was sure Thorn would heckle him about later.

Of course, Fox sighed, it had to go to osik. He saw Thire’s eyes go blank when Stone said something to him and in seconds the commander was summarily pulled into a chokehold of his own.

Fox didn’t hesitate to intervene when Thire started to properly strangle Stone and he pulled the lieutenant off, pressing him to the ground.

“Enough,” he said sternly. “Gev!6

The command did nothing to stop Thire thrashing underneath him. Fox grunted when an elbow smashed into his cuirasse. He narrowly avoided the knife that followed.

“Taylir!”

He felt his stomach churn when Thire abruptly stopped, tense and still underneath him. All the older troopers knew the two people who used that specific command. He ignored the group around Stone and focused on the distressed vod’ika under him.

“Udesii,” he murmured smoothly when Thire started to tremble.

He relaxed his hold on the lieutenant, confident he was coming out of whatever episode or memory he had been in.

“Stone’s fine,” Thorn murmured as he came closer to them. “Just a few bruises. You got him off quickly.”

Fox glanced over at Stone who was looking over at them and trying to wave off Plasma. He had to focus back on Thire when he puked all over the floor. The vod’ika was pulled off the floor but kept still with a hand on his shoulder.

“Stone, at least get some cream on those bruises,” he ordered briskly.

They were already starting to bloom across his skin, proof of the intensity of Thire’s attack. Plasma took that cue to usher Stone and Hound out of the room to give them privacy.

“Come on. Hound, you can make sure he doesn't slip away when we get there.”

Fox focused back on the lieutenant, stifling a groan when Thorn made little sympathetic noises at the sight of tears.

“Udesii vod,” Thorn cooed.

He wiped away the tears, hand reaching out slowly so Thire could see his movements.

“Ni ceta,” Thire said shakily. “Ni ceta commander.”

Fox’s heart ached at the fear in his voice. “You’re not in trouble Thire.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” Thire rambled. “I thought- Sergeant Reau… I didn’t mean to.”

Thorn met his eyes with the same unbridled anger Fox felt. Reau was as much a demagolka7 as Priest. He recalled the numerous write-ups Thire had accumulated on Kamino for emotional instability, almost enough to get him decommed before deployment.

How much of that had been because of Reau? He knew the trainer liked to play mind games with her victims.

He got his answer a few days later when Thire slunk into his office with downturned eyes and told him what he had been through on Kamino. The way Reau forced them to kill their other cadets dragged into the mess lest they be killed or Reau had them decommissioned. How Thire’s batch drew away from him to not draw the trainer’s attention themselves.

It left a sour taste in Fox’s mouth. When Thire tried to leave, Fox drew him into a kel’dabe.

“The Guard protect their own,” Fox repeated the quiet motto they lived by.

Thire exhaled lightly, shoulders dropping. “Yes sir.”

It wouldn’t be the last time they would need to reaffirm their protection, but for now it was enough.

 

1 Stubborn

2 Fight

3 I’m sorry – intense apology

4 Hold

5 Relax, calm down

6 Stop it

7 Monster – a person who commits atrocities

Notes:

Brief note about the use of the word Taylir. I believe that the clones had a designated stop word (gev) in training which, when used, meant the troopers would immediately halt and stay still until they received further instructions. Taylir is the word that Priest and Reau used in the circles as they wanted their trainees to only stop when /they/ said so.

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