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An Exercise In Murphy’s Law

Summary:

Izuku glances at the red recording light before speaking. “This is trial number five of the quirk replication serum. Using the base from trial two with a few modifications which are listed in Support Notebook #3 page 15.” Izuku picks up the vial in front of him. The black liquid inside shimmers like a thousand stars. “Bottoms up.”

Izuku opens his hand. Shimmering lights dance in his palm as a simple wooden cube rises through his skin and into existence.

Disbelief and awe cover’s the teen’s face as he picks it up like it could disappear at any moment. “I did it.”

Notes:

Warnings for this chapter:
-Choking/suffocation
-Minor injuries

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Izuku picks up the passed out villain’s phone and dials a number he has long since memorized. It only rings for a second before it picks up.

“Hey Tsukauchi! Got another one for you!”

“Thank Kami it’s you kid. If I answer this phone and have to hear another salesman I may go insane.”

“You’re the one who gave me your number.”

“The emergency operators do not deserve to hear your ramblings fifty times a night.”

“Thank you for your noble sacrifice.” Izuku pickes up the man and began carrying him over his shoulder as he runs across the buildings. His boots give him the proper boost needed to clear the gaps.

A small sip of coffee was heard through the phone, “At least someone recognizes me. Where is it at?”

“I’m dropping him off at the station for you. Just figured I’d let you know so the whole precinct doesn’t hear you scream in fear.”

“You dropped a giant fox lady right in front of me with zero warning.” Tsukauchi deadpans, “I feel completely justified in my reaction. Also you said you wouldn’t speak of it.”

“My fingers were crossed.” Izuku laughs. The precinct was in sight now.

“Uh huh. And how old did you say you were again?”

“Twenty.”

“I see how it is. Lie to the man with the lie detecting quirk.”

Izuku drops the villain on the doorstep. “Delivery complete!”

“I’ve got snacks on my windowsill if you want them.”

“Oh hell yeah!” Izuku hangs up and runs to the other side of the building. He hangs upside down off the side of the building and peers in through the open window.

“Hello Viridian.” Tsukauchi says from his desk. A pile of paperwork was stacked in one corner. A tower of coffee cups covered the other. “Chocolate chip cookies today.”

Izuku grabs a handful. “You’re the best Tsuky.” He gives a two fingered salute before flipping back to the topside.

“Stay safe kid!” Tsukauchi calls from within the office.

Izuku speeds off in the night ready to take down another criminal.

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So Izuku should have gone home. This fight was not going in Izuku’s favor. He was cornered, his last knife was on the other side of the alley, his grappling hook was currently retraining two villains already, and the nearest fire escape was blocked. He really needed and area of effect attack.

Izuku puts his fists up, “Don’t suppose you feel like talking this out gentlemen?”

The one of the three villains in front of him literally growled at him.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Izuku grabs the trash can lid in just enough time to use as a shield against the first villain whose fingers turned into knives that pierce through the metal.

Izuku takes advantage of Knifeman being stuck in the lid and throws him into the multi-armed villain. Both go crashing ti the ground in a pile of limbs and curses.

Izuku lets out his own string of curses as the third villain clamps his mouth down on his arm. Izuku could make out small feathery gills on the villain’s neck. Must be some sort of shark quirk.

Arms and Knifeman were starting to get up. Izuku punches Sharky in the nose in an attempt to get the man off of him. Of course he bites down harder instead.

“Let. Me. Go.” Each word Izuku accents with a kick in Sharky’s shins. The last one managing in his goal of freedom. Izuku kicks Sharky away from him and backs up only to run into the wall. His arm hangs limply next to him as Arms and Knifeman got up and rejoin Sharky.

“Ready to die Viridian?” Knifeman mocks. “To think we’ll be the ones to finally get rid of you.”

“Sorry I think I’ll have to return your offer.”

Arms reaches for him, attempting a grapple. Izuku quickly wriggles out of the hold and falls ungracefully to the floor.

Sharky reaches down and grabs him by his hood, lifting him up and hooking it onto the fire escape. Izuku tries escape the hoodies as the fabric pushes against Izuku’s throat. Izuku kicks out wildly.

One kick hits Sharky in the gut who backhands him. “Little shit. I’m going to sit here and watch you suffocate and then I’m going to parade around with your dead body so everyone will know-“

Izuku knows his vision is a little dizzy right now but he swears Sharky just disappeared. A black figure surround by white rings drops from the sky. Izuku gasps with relief as he is lifted off the fire escape and placed safely on the ground. His hands immediately rip the hoodie off himself. The fabric feels as though it’s still suffocating him. Izuku sits and listens to his breaths as the sounds of fighting echo in the alley around him.

Eventually, the sounds die down and the figure comes closer to Izuku who can then identify it as Eraserhead. Izuku struggles to his feet and holds his fists up in some sad attempt of a fighting pose.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Eraserhead speaks with a gruff voice. The syllables sharp and to the point. “You need medical attention.”

Izuku attempts for force out a comeback only to be met with coughing and a sharp pain in his throat.

Eraserhead reaches out to touch Izuku’s arm. Izuku slaps the hand out of the way and pulls himself up onto the fire escape he was hanging from just a moment before. His injured arm screams at him but he pushes through it.

“Kid! What are you doing!” Eraserhead easily launching himself to the top of the building with his scarf to block Izuku’s path but Izuku didn’t need to make it to the top.

Izuku swings over the railing of the fire escape, activating his boots on the way. They let out a string blast of air which catapults him to the roof of a building across the street. He stumbles a little bit on the landing before speeding off.

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Aizawa stands at the scene of the crime, watching as the five thugs are arrested. He’d wanted to chase after the kid but he’s legally not allowed to leave the villains alone till they are arrested.

Tsukauchi comes over to talk to him. “I heard Viridian was part of this fight.”

“Viridian?”

“Scrappy kid in a green hoodie.” Tsukauchi explains.

“He almost got himself killed.”

Tsukauchi’s eyes widen. “What happened?”

“When I showed up they were in the process of hanging him off a fire escape. Probably a concussion too; he didn’t seem to be seeing straight after I got him off.”

“You didn’t try to arrest him did you?”

“No, he got away. Besides I’m not worrying about arresting a kid while he’s bleeding out. It’s not logical.” Aizawa explains.

Tsukachi hesitates a moment, “When you see him again, can you make sure he’s okay.” He starts speaking faster, “He’s just a kid, he needs guidance not a prison cell. I’ll do your paperwork for a month. Just… Make sure he’s safe.”

“I’ll look out for him.” Aizawa places his hand on Tsukachi’s shoulder in comfort. “I am taking you up on the paperwork offer though.”