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As Miles lay in the bed he and Phoenix shared, his limited concentration was focused on the direct sensations he was experiencing.
The silky sheets spread around his body. The press of his head against the pillow. The cool breeze of the air conditioner across his skin. His hand tucked between his legs.
He thought too much, Phoenix had told him once. Worried too much and let stress permeate peaceful moments. Miles agreed.
Hence, his current condition.
He took a sharp breath as another edge tipped into an orgasm. He heard the recording of that familiar voice in his ears telling him to touch himself until he was told to stop. And he listened, because Phoenix always knew how to balance tempting control. How to make Miles eager for more.
He enveloped himself in Phoenix’s side of the bed, trying to breathe in any of his scent that lingered, and let go completely.
He rode out his orgasm on his pressed fingers and was once again lost in a sea of lingering pleasure, feeling his mind dripping out between his legs.
But he wasn’t empty. He couldn’t be empty when there was so much bliss filling every crevice of his body and mind.
Any rogue thoughts were masterfully scattered by concentrated motions on his dick. It was only him, the voice, and the arousal that overwhelmed him over and over again.
Miles had slipped headphones on after Phoenix left for work, determined to spend the next few hours mindless and horny.
Or perhaps Phoenix handed them to him before he left, promising to take care of him when he got back. Miles could no more remember how the morning began than he could turn water into wine.
The loop captured his attention swiftly and easily, taking advantage of his still-tired mind. Not giving him a chance to recover his senses for as long as he didn't want to resist. Miles could appreciate the feeling of his mind slipping when he knew there was a soft cushion to catch him as he fell.
Phoenix’s voice usually invigorated him, making him eager for combat in court and life. But like this, deep and focused, sirenic lulls pulled him further and further into a blissful depth. Systematically plucked the thoughts from his head, tucking them away to deal with later. Replaced the empty spaces with contentment and arousal easily sated.
It was an odd state, not chasing pleasure but having it come so easily and without effort that there was no desire to stop. There was no rush. Just a steady constant.
Miles let his fingers continue their endless movement around his swollen cock, feeling a growing eagerness within him. His fingers lightly teased his entrance. It was a constant heat, his underwear drenched.
Life was so often hard angles and cut creases, but the present held a fuzziness around the edges that left Miles feeling soft. Sleepy. Like being wrapped in a soft blanket, warm and cozy.
He floated between the sensations in a timeless bubble.
He barely registered the door opening, a soft laugh, the headphones being removed from his ears.
Until Phoenix’s voice, live and real and so, so close, replaced the tinny recording. “Oh, you look gorgeous.” He brushed Miles’ hair back from his forehead.
And Miles was a flower turning to the sun, opening himself up further.
“I was worried I’d find you pouring over a referendum for evidence law or something. This is so much more welcome.”
Not much came out of Miles’ open mouth in terms of a refute.
“You look like you’ve been enjoying yourself.” Miles was distantly aware of his hips being lifted, his pajamas gently pulled down. Phoenix spread his legs and spoke low. “You can still drift for me, don’t worry.”
Miles' hand was taken in Phoenix’s own, his fingers soon coming into contact with a wet warmth.
“You certainly taste like you’ve been enjoying yourself. Let me see those pretty eyes.” And then Miles’ fingers were engulfed again, licked and sucked on.
Miles pulled his eyes open. His vision was blurry with arousal. A loose smile graced his face.
Phoenix grinned around Miles’ fingers and pulled them out of his mouth with a pop. “Hi.”
“Mmm.” Miles sunk ever further into the mattress. Phoenix let go of his hand and it automatically snaked back between his legs.
Phoenix laughed and Miles moaned at the sound. “Like a dream…” He leaned over Miles. “The question is… now that I have you like this… what should I do with you?” Phoenix ran his hand up and down Miles' arms. “Should I leave you like this? Let you fuck yourself into oblivion?” Miles whimpered. Phoenix’s hand traveled over his chest. “Or should I give you what you so desperately need?”
Phoenix unbuttoned Miles’ pajama top, kissing at the hollow of his neck. “I think we know, right?” He worked his way down as he revealed skin, hands trailing and lips kissing. Miles felt it all in firework bursts, gasping at the extra touch.
Phoenix gripped Miles’ sides, holding the soft flesh in his hands. Rolling his palms, as though sinking into the core of him.
Miles felt it all without end. There were hands upon hands and lips upon lips until he was encased in loving worship.
Until he was putty in Phoenix's gentle hands.
“Rub faster.” Phoenix said, and Miles moved with renewed desperation and urgency. Phoenix hummed his approval.
Phoenix watched him writhe helplessly to the pleasure, Miles’ body jolting with residual energy.
“Aww, Baby, you’re shaking. Here, let me.”
And then Phoenix pulled Miles’ hand away. Replaced it with his own before Miles could whimper at the loss. His fingers slipped in with ease.
Miles’ hole was puffy and soft. And so, so wet. For Phoenix. Always for Phoenix.
And it felt so good to have Phoenix touch him. So overwhelming.
Phoenix took Miles’ face in his free hand, wiping away tears he hadn't known were shed.
“It’s okay.” Phoenix crooned. “I bet you didn’t even notice until just now, right? How much you need this? Need me?”
Miles whined in response, writhing on the bed. He needed Phoenix so badly. An ache in his soul and entrance.
“Yeah, I thought so.” Phoenix pressed his thumb to Miles' cock.
Miles was bombarded with a feeling of fulfillment. This was what he’d been waiting for. Like water found in a desert.
“I love it when you moan for me.” Phoenix’s fingers thrust deep into Miles’ hole at a hypnotic pace. In. Out. “Over.” In. Out. “And over.” In. Out. “And over again.”
New peaks blended together with each fuck of Phoenix's fingers. Miles could orient his entire life around the motion.
“And each one makes you feel even better? Blanker?” Phoenix asked, but it was anything but a question.
Miles panted, arching against the mattress, trying to press into Phoenix's fingers more and more. His mind melted, his body a live wire.
"You're my mindless little thing, aren't you? Say yes."
Yes. Yes. Yes-
“Precious.” His thumb rubbed light circles over Miles’ dick. “You’re so precious to me.”
He was inundated with pleasure. Just Phoenix’s dripping, dropping mess. Just like he wanted to be.
“Ngh- Phoenix.” The name dropped out of his mouth like a stone.
Phoenix paused, looking up at him. “Yes, my Love?”
“More.” He couldn’t even feel embarrassed about not stringing together a sentence, about being utterly frayed. Because Phoenix smiled down at him and he felt lightning striking through the core of him.
“I love when you let yourself be greedy.” Phoenix plunged his fingers in once more with added fervor, crooked them until Miles moaned. “Like you haven’t been coming for hours and hours. With nothing else mattering.”
Phoenix’s fingers continued their sybaritic motions. His touch an aphrodisiac.
Miles could have sobbed with relief. Perhaps he did, because Phoenix leaned down to suck a mark into his neck.
“You’re doing so well, so good for me. I wish I could have watched you the whole time. I’m sure you were such a sight.” He mouthed into Miles’ skin. “Maybe I should set up that camera at the end of the bed. Or I should have you set it up… Would you like that? Would you like showing off for me?”
There’s something in the idea of being on display for Phoenix to watch at any time when he’s like this. Something intoxicating. Something-
Phoenix pulled back, positioning his face between Miles’ legs. He rubbed his scruff on Miles’ thighs, making him shiver. “God, even your thighs are soaked.” He turned to kiss them, which quickly escalated into biting the sensitive skin.
Phoenix kneaded Miles’ thighs as he pushed them up, up, up towards Miles’ chest. “I’m so fucking lucky.”
He took Miles’ hands and wrapped them around his legs. “Hold them here.” And Miles was frozen. Posed like a doll. He could feel the air pass against his wet hole.
Phoenix licked him clean, tongue trailing over his thighs and between his legs. He took slick straight from the source. His hands held Miles’ hips hungrily, possessively.
He kissed at Miles’ exposed hole, tongue dipping past his entrance. Slow and methodical. Not the slightest bit rushed. Miles clenched around him.
How could Miles collect his thoughts when Phoenix was lapping them up with his tongue? It seemed impossible.
Phoenix pulled up and licked his lips, catching Miles’ half-lidded gaze. “I love seeing you like this. I love you so much.”
I love you.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you-
"Do you want me to fuck you, Baby? To fill you up with my cock?"
Miles whimpered, he could already feel it in his mind's eye.
"Ask for it if you want it." Phoenix says, running a finger lazily across the back of Miles’ thigh.
Please.
The words flowed from him like water.
Please. Please. Plea-
He gasped as Phoenix ran his cock over his slit, the tip catching on his entrance.
Phoenix slid into him slowly. Miles' eyes fluttered shut.
And for a few moments there was nothing else. The world had narrowed down to that contact point.
He hadn’t even noticed when Phoenix stopped moving, too distracted by the feeling of fullness.
"Are you happy?" He heard Phoenix ask suddenly, a distant heavenly tune above him. His forehead rested on Miles’ leg.
In his current state he didn't know another way to be. He felt disconnected to the concept of anything else. Like pure relief ran through his veins, an explosion of oxytocin.
“I just want you to be happy.” Phoenix continued, muttering like he was saying it mostly to himself.
Miles let his eyes shut fully, soaking up the heat Phoenix’s body provided. Even outside of this moment, Miles knew he was currently happier, more content, than he'd been in years.
He put all of his remaining strength into pushing out the words, “I am.”
And he felt Phoenix breathe a relieved laugh against him in response. “God, I love you. So much.” Phoenix shook himself. “… Sorry, got too sappy there for a minute. I was making you think, and isn’t that a shame?”
Phoenix slowly started to move, stealing any response Miles could have potentially mustered.
"Because you don't need to think at all when I'm inside you, do you? Just focus on how it feels."
Phoenix continued to speak and Miles stopped paying attention, just let his voice wash over him and make the syrupy sweet fog thicken. He picked up occasional phrases, but they largely slipped past his awareness to be soaked up by his praise-drunk subconscious.
“Fuck. You feel so good. You're taking me so well.”
So good. So good. So good.
"Such a good boy for me."
Miles lost himself once more in the pleasure of being good for Phoenix.
"You'll find it so easy to tell me what a good boy you are for me, right? Tell me you're a good boy."
"I'm a- I'm a good boy." Miles moaned, voice soft and distant. His eyes roll back in bliss.
"You deserve this, don't you? To be taken care of? Tell me you deserve it. You deserve nice things."
"I de-deserve nice things."
"You do, Lovely. You do."
The rhythm Phoenix set seemed to put Miles in a trance of its own.
"Fuck, I'd love to stay like this." He heard Phoenix say. A confusing statement to say the least, because hadn’t Phoenix always been on him? In him?
What else was there?
“This’ll be your last one, alright?” He heard the smile in Phoenix’s voice. “Come for me.”
Miles keened. He was floating and flying and weightless all at once and he knew Phoenix would never let him crash. He milked Phoenix's cock in mindless ministrations, not stopping until Phoenix cursed, telling him that was enough.
Phoenix panted above him. And suddenly he was in Miles' ear.
“You wanna wake up a bit for me? As much as you want to.”
Phoenix pressed kisses to his ear, then his lips, cheeks, his nose. Anywhere he could reach.
Once upon a time Miles would have felt annoyance at the display, a surface-level reaction because he didn't think he deserved it.
All he felt now was incredibly loved. Cherished.
He let Phoenix's lips draw him back up to a higher level of awareness. He tried not to feel disappointed at being so empty.
Phoenix leaned back, rubbed circles into Miles' abdomen. “It’s time for this pretty hole to go to sleep. And didn’t it do so well, making you feel good.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Miles' skin.
Instantly, it doused the hearth in Miles' core, leaving his prone form warm and fuzzy.
“And what about this precious toy, what do you want?”
A loaded question, Miles didn’t feel equipped to answer it. He said as much.
“Let’s get that wonderful brain in thinking shape again, then. I’ll be right back, just relax.”
Miles lay there until Phoenix came back with a warm damp towel. Phoenix pulled out new pajamas. “It doesn’t seem like you’re up for a shower right now.”
Miles admittedly didn’t trust his legs. Or any part of him, really.
Phoenix eventually sat him up, held a glass to his mouth. "Drink."
Miles took the rim to his lips, letting cool water down his throat.
When Miles was done Phoenix started to run a hand through his hair, which always had a numbing effect on his faculties.
“Do you know how many today?”
Miles tried to think back, but it had all melted together in a haze of euphoria. He shook his head.
“That’s alright.”
It was so rare for Miles to not carry tension in his shoulders, his jaw. They didn’t get many opportunities like this. Phoenix used another washcloth to wipe Miles’ face, to clean off the drool that lathered his cheeks and chin. Phoenix held his cheek, thumb caressing over Miles’ cheekbone. “I’m so lucky to be able to see you like that. To give that brilliant mind a chance to rest.”
The words rolled over Miles in a wave, warming him from the chest out.
“I’m so proud of you. You were so good. A natural.”
Miles felt the words reach into the core of him and he curled into Phoenix further, pleased.
“Good day off?”
“Mmm, so far.” He wanted to bask in that blanket of safety, of not having to worry about anything for the moment.
“You needed the break. Did you have to get up at all?”
“No.” He blushed. “I didn’t feel the need to.”
Phoenix grinned teasingly. “Felt too good, huh?”
“Perhaps.”
Miles yawned, his eyes falling shut. He was so pleasantly sleepy. It wasn't surprising he supposed, he'd been rather busy.
"Tired?"
Miles nodded.
"Alright. Remember you have the whole day to rest." Phoenix took him into his arms, pressing Miles against his chest further. "We can make lunch soon."
Miles didn't ask if Phoenix would be there when he woke up, he knew the answer already. He felt comfortable letting the motion of Phoenix’s hands on his back lull him to sleep.
Phoenix has unraveled him more times than he could ever count, in numerous ways and to various degrees. But Miles found that he kept coming back for more because he always trusted Phoenix to put him back together when he was done.
There was no doubt that Phoenix gave as much of himself to Miles as Miles did to him.
He couldn't imagine anyone else he could allow himself to be like this with. No one else could take his body and mind in hand and cradle them like they were precious. Get him to drop his guard himself, knock down his own walls until he's stripped bare before an unwavering gaze.
To see his inner workings and love him regardless. Take care of him regardless.
But Phoenix has. Phoenix does and Phoenix will.
And with Phoenix's help, Miles can find it in himself to believe he deserves it.