Chapter Text
“Rise and shine, Sousuke!”
“Ghh..”
“Right now is the perfect time for photos! The sun is rising, the fog is lifting- the flowers are all fresh, too! They’ve got that water stuff on them that makes them look pretty! Come on, let’s head out!”
“Minamoto-kun, it’s way too early for this..”
“Way too early? Come on, you say that every morning! We need a good time to take high quality photos, and right now is just perfect for that! I just need you to-”
“Noooo.. I don’t wanna..”
“Come onnn..!”
Kou whines as he puts his hands on Mitsuba’s ankles, desperately trying to pull him out of his couch bed contraption. The boy refuses to get up every morning, mainly out of laziness- just sitting around and trying to snore instead of doing anything else. It almost seems like sleeping this much is a habit for him.
It’s been a month of living here though, so he’s had to follow the same routine every single day. Kou has been doing his best to put an end to Mitsuba’s overwhelming sleepiness. Even on days where he has school, they get up early to take photos before Mitsuba is allowed to just do whatever at home. He still gets to rest for at least half of the day despite doing absolutely nothing.
It’d be an understatement to say Kou is lenient with Mitsuba. He lets the boy do whatever the hell he wants most of the time. Though Kou has to admit, a lot of the things he does almost seems out of character.
He doesn’t try questioning it too much. It’s been three years without Sousuke, obviously he would change if they met again. He’s not a closed up middle schooler anymore, and it’s not like he’s turned into a terrible person or anything, either- so it really isn’t a big deal. Kou can get used to a few minor changes.
“Is this outfit okay?”
“I guess, but you always give me this jacket..”
“It suits you! It’s warm, too!”
Even after living there for a month, Mitsuba still doesn’t have his own clothes. Though he doesn’t seem to complain much about wearing Kou’s- he just whines about the style. It’s never cute enough for him. Kou just stares and laughs every time he says something about it.
Mitsuba isn’t very hard to live with, even despite his dumb protests. It’s actually nice living with him. Mitsuba fills an empty space Kou hadn’t even realized was there.
Kou feels happy that he’s there.
“Alright, you ready?”
“No..”
“What are you missin’?”
“Nothing, I just-”
“Well then, we’re heading out!”
“Ghhh..”
But even if he’s happy, there’s always this strange feeling in his chest. The feeling that something is wrong.
He listens to the click of a camera. It pulls him away from his distant thoughts.
“Oh.. those are just my shoes,”
“It’s fine!” Kou quickly reassures Mitsuba, putting all his attention on the boy beside him with ease. No matter how many times Mitsuba holds that camera in his hands, he never seems interested in it. If anything, he seems discomforted just by the thought of just using it. Kou doesn’t understand. How could someone feel so uncomfortable with their own hobby? Even if years passed by, he’d expect Sousuke to at least still love his photography. “We can try again! How about those birds over there? We should get those!”
“Mmh..” Mitsuba lowers the camera in his hands, looking over in the direction of the birds. A bored look makes its way onto his face. “They’re way too far away. I’m not going all the way over there..”
“Ah.. it’s not too far!” Kou offers an awkward smile, taking the camera from Mitsuba’s hands. He walks away with it, to which Mitsuba follows. Mitsuba doesn’t have anywhere else to go, anyway. “We just gotta be quiet, and definitely not scare them off..”
“You said that the last time we tried taking pictures of birds..”
“The last time I didn’t have any experience! I watched a ton of tutorials, I even read some articles. I’m basically an amateur at photography now!” he can hear the enthusiasm in his own voice. He still has hope he can make everything better. “You’re supposed to approach them like this!”
“Minamoto-kun..” Mitsuba’s footsteps get quieter, “is it safe to be walking on the ice like this?”
“Of course it is! I used to do it all the time with Teru-nii,”
“Right..”
“You don’t need to worry!” Kou looks at him with a bright smile before putting his focus back on the scene in front of him. He hasn’t been loud enough to scare off the birds, thankfully. Every other attempt they’ve made to capture birds has resulted in Kou either getting attacked or disappointed when they fly away. “All I gotta do is-”
With one wrong step, he slips on the ice- it’s pure luck that it doesn’t break, but it does crack. Both Mitsuba and Kou hear the noise.
“Gahh..” Kou whines. He holds the camera above his head- thank god it’s safe. A lot of memories are on that camera; both his and Sousuke’s. He doesn’t know what he’d do with himself if he lost it. “Maybe it wasn’t..”
“Pfft..!”
“Eh..?” as he scrambles up to his feet, he turns to look at Mitsuba’s face. He’s laughing. “What are you laughin’ at..?” sure, the noise is heavenly- but to laugh right after he fell? How rude. He wouldn’t expect any less, but maybe an offer of help would be nice.
“Jeez, Minamoto-kun..” Mitsuba snickers, “You don’t know much, do you?”
“I so do!”
“Why would you wanna walk on ice anyway? All that for some lame picture..” he crosses his arms and looks to the side. “You’re trying way too hard.. Oh! Hey, I want one of those!”
“Hm?” Kou sets the strap of the camera around his neck so that way he doesn’t have to carry it. He repaired it for Mitsuba’s sake, but the boy doesn’t seem to appreciate it much. “Popsicles?”
“Yeah, I want one!”
“But we’re supposed to be taking pictures..” he walks to Mitsuba’s side, “Weren’t you complaining about how cold it was on our way here? You do know popsicles will just make it worse.. right?”
“They look yummy..”
“We haven’t eaten breakfast yet..” he shakes his head, “No sweets until breakfast, you know those are the rul-”
“Well, it’s not my fault you decided to drag me at the break of dawn without letting me eat first! Maybe if you didn’t push breakfast until after torturing a cute boy like me..” Mitsuba puffs his cheeks and crosses his arms. He knows how to get exactly what he wants.. it’s unbelievable. “Come on, Minamoto-kun.. just one popsicle couldn’t hurt. Pleeeaase..?”
“Hmm..” Kou lets out a little sigh, reaching into his pockets after enough thinking. He always brings his wallet with him everywhere- Teru said it’s always safe to have some money on him. Kou also just got into the habit of doing so for when Sousuke was around. That boy never had any money with him, just a camera and his warm scarf. “Fine, just one. But don’t blame me when you’re-”
“Thanks,”
He swallows thickly.
He feels his cheeks flush a little at the expression on Mitsuba’s face- out of the entire month Mitsuba has been living with him, there’s rarely any thank yous being given. At dinner, at breakfast, before bed- Mitsuba just brushes him off and pushes him away.
But right now, Mitsuba looks like he could light up the entire sky with one smile.
“It’s.. no problem,” Kou mutters, pulling some yen out of his wallet as he approaches the cart. Mitsuba follows close behind him, a hand attached to Kou’s coat as if he’d get lost on his way there. Mitsuba tends to push him away and then cling onto him right after. It’s strange. “Uhm.. let’s see, could we get two popsicles?”
“Sure, what flavor?” the person asks him, “Oh, Minamoto-kun. It’s you,”
“Huh?” Kou looks up with a small smile. “Hey, Yamabuki-senpai. It’s been a while!”
“It has,” Mitsuba watches as they speak in curiosity, holding onto Kou a little tighter. Kou pays it no mind- Sousuke and Lemon weren’t on the best terms. At least Kou remembers it that way, he can’t recall them ever getting along. Kou was always the one doing the speaking for that reason. “So what’ll it.. Woah,”
“What is it?”
“N-Nothing, just,” Lemon blinks, staring at Mitsuba in disbelief. Almost instantly, Kou can tell what’s about to happen- it’s not everyday you see someone who was declared dead right in front of you. Kou didn’t really think this through, did he? Lemon had seen him and Sousuke buying popsicles multiple times before. “That guy looks real familiar..”
“Oh, S-”
“I don’t know you,” Mitsuba mutters, but he shrinks a little behind Kou. Lemon doesn’t hear his voice, and both him and Kou are thankful for that. “Can we just get our popsicles?”
“Right,” Kou awkwardly clears his throat, “Sorry, he’s really in the mood for popsicles. Do you remember my usual?”
“Peach and blueberry,” Lemon goes digging through their cart. They keep their eyes on Mitsuba as if they want to say something, but only end up holding back. Kou doesn’t blame their confusion. “You want both? Or..”
“Both, please,”
“Alrighty, you got it.”
“Your usual?” Mitsuba whispers in confusion, “What’s that mean? I don’t get to choose my flavor?”
“I’m getting the popsicles we usually eat, so that way the flavors shouldn’t be a problem. You’ve always been super picky, Sousuke, I know you.” Kou hums, thinking that he isn’t making a mistake at all. This is what they’re used to, it should be fine. “It’s been a few years though, so..”
“But I’ve..” the former tilts his head to the side, “I’ve never had-”
“Here you are,” Lemon hands Kou two popsicles with a warm smile, “are you on a date, Minamoto-kun?”
“Ah?” Kou blinks as he exchanges his yen in return. He’s startled a bit by the question as his cheeks flush red in an instant. If Lemon just so happened to mention Mitsuba to Akane, Kou would be done for- he needs to clarify this is strictly platonic. No feelings here, not at all- even if he knows that isn’t true. He’s already had this issue with Sousuke before. “I wouldn’t.. say that, I’m just helpin’ a friend with photography, is all.”
“Mmh, photography?” Lemon raises an eyebrow, “Sounds a lot like..”
“Well, anyway,” Kou cuts in. He’s still not ready to make an excuse for Mitsuba’s appearance, so he’ll just change the topic. “How are you and Akane-senpai?”
“Huh? Oh,” with ease, it provides a distraction from them both. Mitsuba just watches them talk. “We’re doing good. Discussing places to move as of now,”
“Places to move?”
“Yeah,” Lemon nods, carefully putting the yen they were given into a small box. They’ve been selling popsicles for as long as Kou can remember. That box has never changed, it’s a comforting feeling. “This city’s way too much for us, man. We wanna go somewhere quieter.. and she wants to have more plants, too. So we plan to get a bigger apartment,”
“That’s.. nice,” he offers an awkward smile, “A lot of people have been leaving the city recently, huh?”
“Yeah. We grew up here, but we definitely don’t want to stay here. Bad memories and stuff like that, some people just want to start fresh. Pick up where they left off,” Lemon shakes their head, “Take Aoi for example. The guy’s always wanted to leave this place.. he got out and he’s way happier now. He’s got a family, he’s going to a great university- all that junk. Your older brother, too. I’ve never seen him so happy,”
“..uh, yeah.”
“Are you planning to get out of this place when you’re old enough?”
Kou blinks.
That’s a question he’s been asking himself for a long time.
Is he ever planning to leave?
The idea of it makes his heart sink a bit. His thoughts begin to spiral- if he did leave, what would happen? Would he stay with his family? Would he keep in touch with his friends? What would happen to his memories? He doesn’t want to forget. He never does.
“Uh, I dunno..”
“Not that you have to move, obviously.” Lemon shrugs, “But you’re getting older, and we both know your brother-”
“..wants me to get out of the city. Yeah, I know,” Kou awkwardly looks down at the ground, not too sure of what to say. He doesn’t want this conversation to take a worse turn- Lemon is a mandatory reporter for Akane, and anything Akane hears goes straight to Teru. That would lead to a mess that Kou just isn’t ready to deal with. He decides to play it safe. “I don’t think.. I want to leave,”
“Really?”
“I have too many good memories here,” is his reason. Or at least he thinks it is, because that’s the only thing he can bring himself to say. The other reasons he has to stay are stupid. They’re worthless. That one is the most logical. “I don’t want to throw all that away,”
“It’s not like you’re throwing it away,” Lemon retaliates, “You can always travel back here,”
“I know, but I just..” Kou sighs, “I don’t- I gotta get going, so I’ll see you around. Tell Akane-senpai I said hi, and that I hope she’s doing well.”
“I’ll let her know,” Lemon nods, “Have fun on your d-”
“It’s not a date,” Kou mutters with a small smile. There’s a wave of deja vu that hits him- a feeling that he’s done this before. “Thank you, though. See you,”
“See you,”
“Hey, Minamoto-kun!” a sweet boy with a camera in his hands points over at a nearby cart. He calls out the name of his best friend to get his attention. “I want one of those!”
“Eh? A popsicle? You got any money on you?”
“Won’t you buy one for me? I’m too cute to be left hungry, and they look sooo good!”
“Fine, just one..”
A blonde speaks to the person behind the cart, greeting them politely. He’s cut off by their words.
“Ah, hey. You’re the president’s brother, aren't cha? The name’s Yamabuki Lemon, I’m friends with-”
“You’re the guy my brother hates!” his eyes widen, “He said-”
“Woah, okay. Aoi did say Minamoto-senpai had it out for me, but I didn’t know it was that bad..” he watches them awkwardly stuff their hands into their cart. “What can I get for you?”
“Uhmm.. hey, Mitsuba-kun, what do you want?”
“Peach,” the boy behind him whispers, standing behind him as if he doesn’t want to talk. “Peach is my go-to for everything. Always get me peach if you don’t know what I want,”
“Okay! I’ll get one peach popsicle and one blueberry popsicle, please!”
“You got it,” the person gives a smile, rummaging through their cart with a small hum. They pull out two popsicles with ease and hand them over to the blonde. “Here you go. I’ll make it free if you give a good word to your brother for me, ‘kay?”
“Why?” he tilts his head to the side, “Do you like.. Teru-nii-”
“No!” they blurt out, “No, that’s not it.. I dated- you know what? It’s not important..”
“You dated my brother..?”
“No! No, nothing like that! I’ll be dead if either Minamoto-senpai or Aoi hears that..” they blurt out again, “It’s not.. I’ll just give this to you for free,” they hand over the popsicles, and so the boy gives a bright smile. How could he say no to free popsicles? “Have fun on your date, Minamoto-kun.”
“Date?” the blonde murmurs, a burning blush taking effect on his face. “It’s not a date.. thank you, though! See you!”
The next week, he went back to get popsicles with his best friend again. Every time, there was a mention of a date- to which he denied with a flustered face. He always got so defensive, but he could tell it was just a joke.
The only thing he didn’t notice was his best friend sulking about it.
“Minamooooto-kun,”
“Ah,” Kou snaps out of his foggy memories to look over at Mitsuba. They’re sitting on a bench together with their popsicles in hand. Neither of them have unwrapped their own yet. “What’s up?”
“What was that about?” Mitsuba questions, genuine curiosity in his voice. For once, he’s interested in something- probably because it isn’t photography related. “With that.. ice cream person, and the moving stuff?”
“Oh, that?” Kou chuckles awkwardly, “That’s Yamabuki-senpai. You don’t remember them?”
“No, I’ve.. never met them?”
“You have,” he looks over at Mitsuba struggling to open his popsicle. He puts his own popsicle on the bench to reach over for Mitsuba’s, pulling on both ends of the popsicle wrapper to open it. “You just don’t remember them well, I’m guessing. Or, well.. at all,”
“Uh, yeah.. okay,”
“But uh..” he thinks for a moment, “You guys had your differences, so maybe you can start from scratch now! I’m sure you can be friends,”
“No way.. they look scary,”
“Scary?” he hands over the popsicle back to Mitsuba, “Yeah, they kinda do look intimidating.. But they’re not bad. They’ve got a girlfriend, Akane-senpai- she’s cool. She’s Akane’s best friend, and Yamabuki-senpai is also Akane’s best friend.”
“Two Akanes?”
“Ah, yeah. It’s kinda funny, actually.. Akane-senpai’s first name is Aoi, and Akane’s last name is Aoi. They’ve been best friends since childhood, and then uh..” he chuckles again, but this time it’s more genuine. “Akane- uh, Teru’s husband, not Akane-san- he met Yamabuki-senpai and they started dating for a while. Teru-nii absolutely despised Yamabuki-senpai for it, since he had a huge crush on Akane, so Yamabuki-senpai tried being nice to me so Teru-nii wouldn’t have it out for them. It sorta worked, and they ended up dating Akane-senpai anyway.. so everything was fine in the end,”
“Uhuh,” Mitsuba murmurs, keeping his eye on Kou as the boy speaks. At least Kou knows he’s listening, even to the dumb little rambles he gives. “Are you friends with either of them? Akane-senpai or Yamabuki-senpai,”
“Hm? I’m kinda friends with Yamabuki-senpai,” Kou begins to unwrap his own popsicle, putting his focus on that. He doesn’t notice Mitsuba’s soft gaze, or his slightly blush dusted cheeks. He just stares down at the popsicle. “I, uh.. I stopped talking to Yamabuki-senpai after you.. got hit, though.” his voice trails off, “Not because I didn’t want to be their friend anymore, or anything.. but it was hard to see popsicles and not think of you.”
“..oh,”
“Yeah,” he pauses, “but now that you’re back, it’s fine! We can have popsicles whenever we want, but not too often- that way you don’t get a stomachache! We can do all the stuff we-”
“Hey, Minamoto-kun?”
“Hm?” he looks up at Mitsuba, making eye contact. He doesn’t guess at all what Mitsuba is about to say. “What is it?”
“When I.. disappeared,” Mitsuba struggles to keep that eye contact, though. Kou isn’t very surprised by that, but his eyes continue to linger on the boy’s pretty face. He listens carefully. “..how many people did you stop talking to?”
“Ah..?”
“How much stuff did you have to give up because of.. me?”
“Uh..”
There’s an awkward silence between them for a few moments.
Mitsuba’s peach flavored popsicle drips down and onto his fingers, melting and forming into a liquid as the seconds pass by. The orange color from the treat stains his skin with ease. Kou can do nothing but stare.
What is he supposed to say to that question?
Is he supposed to tell the truth? How would Mitsuba react if he knew all that, anyway? Wouldn’t that just make things more distant between them? Wouldn’t it push them farther apart?
But wouldn’t it be worse to lie? Lying is okay when necessary, but Mitsuba is asking a genuine question. It seems like he really wants to know.
Kou bites his lip before speaking.
“I couldn’t.. cook for a while,”
Kou starts. He can remember his difficult grieving like it happened just yesterday. He can remember crying until he couldn’t breathe- until his eyes were so dry that he could barely keep them open. Sobbing and shaking until he passed out because of something that wasn’t even his fault. Watching the TV in shock as a photo of his best friend comes onto the screen. It almost feels like a bad dream that he can recall perfectly.
“I would remember all the lunches we’d eat together, and the things I’d make for you.. so when I walked towards the kitchen, I’d cry. I couldn’t handle seeing all the things that were meant for you, because I thought I’d never see you again.”
No one could get him to touch the fridge for weeks. He’d still eat thanks to Akane’s cooking, as the boy stayed over almost all the time, but Kou would never dare try to cook himself. It hurt too much to remember all the things he did for Sousuke. All the time they spent together, all their smiles, and their jokes..
But it would also hurt to forget.
“Teru-nii never tried forcing me to cook, but I could tell he wanted me to try again. Not because we didn’t have anyone else but Akane cooking, but because he knew I loved it. He told me that you wouldn’t.. want me to stop cooking because I was sad over you. I did start again, obviously.. but for months, I’d tear up when I tried.”
He lets out a shaky sigh. The first time he tried cooking again was a nightmare- he burned himself by accident, he cried, and his dad just so happened to get home at the height of the moment. It sucked, to say the least. Teru having to argue with his dad over Kou’s misery wasn’t something he was mentally prepared for, especially not after losing Sousuke.
“I missed a lot of school, too. I didn’t go for at least two weeks.”
He remembers Yokoo and Satou coming over one day to ask him if he would be going back anytime soon. They desperately needed him for a group project, and it seemed insanely insensitive- however Kou told them he’d be okay and that he’d be going back for their sake. He pushed through his grief and put on a smile to be there for his other friends. It was painful.
“Uh.. it wasn’t really fun when I went back, though. All my friends would crowd around me during lunch.. but even if I had a hundred people talking to me, I only wanted to hear your voice. Everything else would’ve felt like a blur if I could.”
Nene, Amane, Satou, and Yokoo all spent as much time as possible to distract him from the grief. But that’s not what Kou wanted. He didn’t want to get over Sousuke. He never did, and he still hasn’t. Why couldn’t they have just let him feel sad? Why is it that he needs to be the sunshine friend? Why can’t someone just be there to listen to him rather than trying to cheer him up right away?
“I couldn’t.. talk to Yamabuki-senpai for a while. But in general, I pushed away all my friends, and even my family. I couldn’t look at popsicles, or cameras- I couldn’t even go to places with pretty scenery.. because everything reminded me of you. Every little thing.. was a reminder that I lost my best friend.”
He grips the fabric of his jeans tightly. Is his voice getting shakier? He can’t tell. Maybe Mitsuba can, because his soft gaze has turned into one of deep concern. Mitsuba is worried about him. But that’s not what Kou wanted- he doesn’t intend for Mitsuba to get worried. He just wants to let him know how much he was missed.
“I didn’t think I’d be able to live without you.”
He hears Mitsuba gasp.
“Sorry!” Kou blurts out, “I- I ended up okay, obviously. I opened up to Teru-nii about how I felt, and I also told Akane.. they made sure I got the help I needed and I was able to get better. I go to school regularly now, and I’m still friends with everyone- I cook as a hobby, and all that stuff.. but I think this is my first time having a blueberry popsicle in years,”
Mitsuba stays quiet.
“I’m sure you can imagine how happy I was when I realized you were actually back. I felt like.. a really important part of me came back. The half that I lost when you left.. I really got it back,”
His expression grimaces.
“I’m determined to do everything with you again, Sousuke.”
“..oh,”
“Talked a little too much there, didn’t I?” Kou awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, trying to change the topic. He’s gotten used to avoiding his own grief and emotions- so he feels embarrassed sharing all of that. “My popsicle’s gotten all melted, mannn..! Didn’t mean for that to happen,”
“..I hope I’ll be by your side for a long time, Minamoto-kun.”
“Eh?” he blinks, “Mmh.. I hope I’ll be by your side for a long time, too.”
Mitsuba looks down at his popsicle. Kou can’t quite read his expression- but the boy looks like he knows more than he wants to say. There’s something that he just can’t get out. At least not yet.
“Well, uh.. what are you waiting for? Your popsicle is getting all melted..”
“Oh, right.. my hand is all wet now, ghh..” he whines a little, but he motions the popsicle towards his mouth. With one lick, he instantly pulls it away.
“What’s wrong?” Kou questions, a bit taken aback by how quickly Mitsuba was to reject the popsicle. “Is it too cold for you? I told you, it wasn’t a good idea-”
“What flavor is this..?!”
“Eh..?”
Kou stares in shock as Mitsuba shakes his head and sticks his tongue out. The wrapper did say peach, didn’t it? Did Kou make a mistake? Did Lemon grab the wrong one? It looks like peach, it smells like peach.. he can’t think of a reason for Mitsuba to be upset.
“It’s- it’s peach, since you always get-”
“So laaame..” Mitsuba wipes his mouth with his sleeve, and it takes everything in Kou to not consider having to wash all the laundry soon. He has Mitsuba to focus on. “I wanted something like strawberry, not peach!”
“But.. you always get peach!”
“Minamoto-kun,” he lets out a small huff, “I prefer strawberry over everything!”
“But you told me..”
“I’ll try your popsicle instead,”
“W-Wait! Hey!-”
Kou’s cheeks flush as Mitsuba grabs his hand and motions it towards his own face. The blue from the popsicle meets the pink from Mitsuba’s lips, smudging the color onto them. Nonetheless, Mitsuba licks the popsicle- he seems to enjoy blueberry more than peach. At least Kou thinks so, since he doesn’t instantly pull away and hiss. He savors the taste for a few extra moments.
“Mmh.. this one’s okay,” the boy murmurs, pushing the popsicle away from himself and pressing it against Kou’s lips instead. Is that not just an indirect kiss? Mitsuba lingered his face closer a lot more than he needed to. “I’ll finish the peach one, only ‘cuz you bought it..”
“A-Ah,” Kou blinks, “Yeah, yeah- that’s.. that’s fine,”
Mitsuba goes back to eating his peach popsicle, complaining about the stains on his pretty hands. Kou is left speechless once again, staring at the mystery that sits beside him. He gets a strange feeling in his chest.
Would Sousuke ever do that? This is way too bold, the boy would never. Kou feels a wave of fluster and confusion wash over him.
Maybe something is off.
He just doesn’t know what.
But he’s definitely catching on.
“You’re giving me breakfast early today. What are you planning?”
“Mmh? I’m not planning anythin’.. what do you mean?”
“I mean, we haven’t gone out to take photos, you didn’t drag me out of bed, and you’re sitting there with that smug look on your face.”
“Am I?”
“You are!”
Kou watches as Mitsuba stuffs his face with pancakes, making his cheeks look all squishy due to the overwhelming amount of food being shoved into his mouth. Kou has already finished his own plate, so he just sits there resting his cheek on his palm. Mitsuba has already eaten all his strawberries and whipped cream; Kou’s not surprised in the slightest. At least Mitsuba is almost done eating the rest of his meal.
It’s spring already. It’s the first day of it, actually.
The time passes by a lot faster with Mitsuba, Kou notes to himself. School passed by like a breeze and everything’s been surprisingly smooth. The only things Kou really has to complain about is Teru not being able to make it to his graduation and Mitsuba’s stubbornness. But graduation was at the beginning of the month, and Mitsuba’s personality is unchangeable. So really, Kou feels okay. Life is going pretty decently.
“Just what exactly do you want to do with me, Minamoto-kun?” Mitsuba mutters as he takes a sip out of his juice, “You’re acting really suspicious, you know! You better not be planning anything weird,”
“You know I wouldn’t plan anything weird,”
“I think shoving a camera in my hands and forcing me to go out in the cold when I’m exhausted is pretty weird..”
“That’s different, photography is your hobby. Plus, you sleep in all day! You’re not as exhausted as you say you are, you’re just a bit sleepy. Always napping whenever you get the chance..” Kou playfully rolls his eyes, “Are you going to want seconds? That way we can head out soon,”
“I knew you were planning something!” Mitsuba huffs, swallowing the last of his food. He places his utensils down onto the plate and pushes it in Kou’s direction- that’s just a part of their routine. Kou reaches over for the plate and slips it on top of his own to make it easier to carry them both. “Head out where, exactly? You’re being vague. I don’t like that!”
“Just somewhere special, is all. You’ll know it when you see it,” the blonde chuckles, getting out of his seat and bringing the plates over to the sink. Mitsuba follows him- that’s also become a part of their routine. Wherever Kou goes, Mitsuba follows close behind. “Your clothes are in my room, so you can head up and go get them if you want. I made sure to iron them and everything.”
“I have a feeling I will not be knowing it when I see it..” Mitsuba mutters, “Can’t you just tell me instead of dragging it out like this? It would be easier if you just said what it was,”
“Nope! It’s gonna be a surprise, isn’t that fun?” Kou listens to him groan, “Come on, it’ll be fine. You’ve got nothing to worry about..”
“Are you bringing the camera?”
“You are bringing the camera, yeah!” he smiles, but Mitsuba only complains more. Well, he’s getting used to it. It’s a part of his routine already. “We can’t just go somewhere nice and not bring it.. I’m sure you’d love to take some more pictures over there,”
“Are we going to the park again..?” Mitsuba whines, “I’m tired, I don’t wanna..”
“We’re not going to the park, nope! It’s way better!” Kou chuckles, “Well, you better wake up soon.. we have a lot of walking to do!”
“A lot of walking..?”
“Yep! But we’ve walked there together before, so it shouldn’t be too hard.. maybe a thirty minute walk? Probably an hour if you walk slowly. So don’t worry, you won’t get too tired out!”
“But it’s still a possibility even if I walk slowly..”
“Just about anything is a possibility!”
“Your optimism is killing me, Minamoto-kun..”
“Whatever you say,” he snickers, rinsing his hands under the sink water. He dries them with a hand towel and gives Mitsuba a thumbs up. “It’ll be fun, promise!”
“I don’t believe that for a second,” Mitsuba shakes his head, “I’m heading upstairs to get my clothes like you said..”
“Alright! I’ll be here washing the dishes.. take your time getting ready!”
“I will definitely be taking my time,” he mutters under his breath, crossing his arms as he begins to walk away. “It takes a lot of work to look as cute as I do, Minamoto-kun! It’s not as easy as it looks!”
“Yeah, right.. whatever you say,”
“It’s the truth! You can’t deny what you don’t understand!”
“Mhm,” Kou snickers at the boy’s huffing, “Let me know when you’re done,”
It takes Mitsuba about an hour to finish getting ready. There were protests about the outfit he was wearing, complaints about his pretty hair, and an issue with earrings. (Earrings plural, because Mitsuba struggled with his own and proceeded to throw a fit about Kou’s. Something, something, unfashionable. Something, something, super lame. Kou can remember the important parts. Are those classified as important?) Once he finishes up with everything, he still puts up a fight. Kou admits he struggled a lot more than he would’ve expected. He definitely thought this would've been easier.
“It’s still cold out,”
“Spring just started, so it’ll be a little longer before it gets warm,”
“But my body is cold,”
“That’s why you’re wearing my coat.. and several layers of clothes underneath,”
“My hands are freezing,”
“That’s why we’re holding hands,”
“My- hey, wait a minute..”
“Hm?”
“Is that the shore..?”
“See, I told you- you’d recognize it!”
Mitsuba’s jaw almost drops at the sight of the shore. Kou takes that as a good sign- it’s nice to be out and back on one’s feet. Sure, Mitsuba whined the entire walk there, talking about how his cute self shouldn’t be doing this, but Kou was able to tolerate it like always. This is worth the complaints. It wasn’t that long of a walk, anyway. They’ve walked there tons of times before, haven’t they? Kou is sure of it.
“Why the hell are we at the beach, Minamoto-kun..?”
“..maybe you recognize the place, but don’t recognize the memories.” Kou mutters, awkwardly scratching his cheek. Mitsuba definitely doesn’t sound excited- he sounds more upset than anything. Maybe he assumed too quickly. There’s really no good signs here. “This is where we used to take a lot of pictures, remember? This is the first place you brought me. This is where..” his voice trails off.
A specific memory plays in his head. For a moment or two, he can feel the temperature of his face rise. His cheeks flush red and his mind gets fuzzy.
Is that a real memory?
Hands intertwined, water brushing against his legs, the sun hitting the top of his blonde hair.. his lips almost-
He pushes it aside. That isn’t why he’s here. His goal is to make Mitsuba remember, not to fulfill his silly dreams. Maybe his memory is getting rusty? But that sounds unlikely, even to him- he can remember every detail about Sousuke, from his favorite color down to his petty dislikes.
An almost shared kiss with Sousuke is a memory he won’t forget. But he doesn’t want to remember it, either.
It caused something he could never forgive himself for.
“Earth to Minamoto-kun!”
“Ah!” he blinks, “Uh, as I was saying.. I was thinking if we went here you’d get a better grasp at everything. Since.. you were the one who brought me here and not the other way around. I figured you’d be able to remember something if we went somewhere you know.”
“Right..” Mitsuba mutters. He’s no longer holding Kou’s hand- he instead has his arms wrapped around his own body. Is it really that cold? Maybe Kou’s just used to the weather. He’s lived here all his life, after all.. but Sousuke has lived here pretty long, too. “Can we just take some pictures and go? I don’t.. wanna be here too long. I don’t like the beach,”
“Eh..?” Kou swallows thickly, “But you’re the one who-”
“I’m being serious, let’s make this quick. I really don’t wanna be here long.”
Mitsuba is genuine, Kou can hear it in his voice. There’s some sort of fear laced in it, too. He’s curious, and his mind begs him to push on and ask about it- but his heart decides against it. He goes quiet for a moment.
“..okay.”
“Thanks,”
The two walk down to the shore in silence. Their shoes press into the sand below them- Mitsuba’s sneakers sinking into it whilst Kou’s chunky shoes seem to survive the trip. Kou glances over at Mitsuba every now and then, expecting a complaint- but nothing comes out. He wonders if Mitsuba is upset at him. He probably is.
But the beach’s surroundings are nice, at least. In Kou’s eyes, it’s not too cold, and it’s not too hot, either. There’s a small breeze that’s getting a little rougher, but it’s not that much of a big deal. This would’ve felt perfect if it were him and Sousuke when they were younger. Maybe Sousuke would like this a little more.
“Don’t bother taking off your shoes,” he hears Mitsuba mutter when he hunches over, “We won’t be here for long. We aren’t gonna get in the water,”
“Right,” Kou stands up straight again. Honestly, that’s kind of embarrassing. Usually when he and Sousuke would go to the beach, Sousuke would focus on photography while Kou would get to play in the water. This is no fun.
There’s another awkward silence.
Kou doesn’t understand.
He looks over at Mitsuba.
The boy is taking his camera out of its strap like its routine- mainly because it is. Every single day, he’s had to take it out and force himself to use it as if he knows how to. Misery always ensues. It follows Mitsuba’s every step, leaving an obvious trail behind.
His pretty sunset eyes find themselves fixed on the sand. Occasionally, they’ll drift away and stare at the shore. He watches as the water rushingly gets closer to his still body, and then slowly retreats to where it came from. Never once does it touch him.
His hair is flowing nicely in the wind. He had the chance to do it properly, unlike some other days where they were running late to the sunrise- it’s in a neat, small ponytail. As always, half of his face is hidden. The wind is still too gentle to push it aside.
Sousuke used to have his hair up the same way, too. But he was shyer about it. Kou can remember it like it was yesterday- he didn’t have the confidence to look how he wanted. After hanging out with Kou for a while, he was able to do his hair comfortably. The fact that Kou was able to help him feel better with himself was enough to get him determined to do it again.
Mitsuba is different. Maybe it’s because no one else has really had the chance to talk to him, or because it’s been years since he’s had to deal with anyone’s bullshit. That’s what it seems like to Kou, at least.
Now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t even really know what Mitsuba’s been doing for those years.
His own eyes fixate on the shore.
The water reaches his shoes. They never once reach Mitsuba’s red sneakers- Kou is just standing a little too close to the sea. Well, that sucks. He really likes these shoes. There’s no point in stepping back now. They’re already soaked.
What did Mitsuba do during his absence?
He lets out a little sigh. Repressing his memories comes with bad questions in his head. Pushing away Sousuke and embracing Mitsuba brings him a strange feeling. His chest feels a little tight, it gets harder to focus on the water.
Would Sousuke really run away?
He asks himself.
Would Sousuke, the quiet yet stubborn kid that no one knew, the boy that wanted the attention of those around him, the guy who just wanted friends- would he run away from it all? Would he run away from his dream when he was so close to achieving it?
No.
He wouldn’t.
Sousuke may have been lazy when it came to things out of his comfort zone, but he’d never run away the way Mitsuba claims. Sousuke had no reason to run away. He wasn’t bullied anymore, his mother was a nice woman, he was getting along with other students, and he had Kou by his side the entire time. Why would he even do that in the first place? What would he be getting away from?
Every time he asks Mitsuba for an elaboration, there’s another excuse.
“I just wanted to get away,” would be one of them.
“I don’t owe you an explanation.” was another.
“Quit pushing. I’m going to take a nap.” his excuses were endless. They were worthless for sure, but they were endless. It was one lie after the other. One cover up to cover another cover up. Kou was almost impressed with the amount of excuses he could really come up with.
He looks back at Mitsuba.
He still isn’t using the camera, it’s shut off. It hasn’t been touched, Mitsuba just took it out to hold it. It’s not even like he owns it. It’s like he’s holding it for someone else. Someone who isn’t here.
Kou looks down at the camera.
There’s a cherry blossom petal on it.
He looks back at the shore.
The waves are-
Hold on.
He looks back at the camera.
A cherry blossom petal?
His mouth lays slightly agape. Now, just where did that come from? Is Mitsuba hoarding petals in his sleeve, or what? They’re at the beach, and he can’t recall any cherry blossom trees being nearby. The only one he can remember is the one he found Mitsuba at. It’s walking distance, sure, but it’s way too far from the beach. Its petals wouldn’t be able to reach them. Not to mention he hasn’t taken Mitsuba there in a while. If Mitsuba went there, Kou would know.
What a mystery. Mitsuba is a mystery.
Without much thought, Kou reaches over for the petal. Mitsuba stares at him as if he’s just seen a ghost.
“..mh,” the blonde hums softly, his eyes focused on the petal rather than Mitsuba’s shocked expression. “Hey, Sousuke, where-”
“Give that back,”
“Eh?”
He blinks in surprise, watching as Mitsuba yanks the petal away from him. He shoves it into his sleeve.
Okay, that’s kind of weird. Kou has to admit that much- he’s been very laid back with Mitsuba for months, refusing to push more than he needs to, but this behavior is just odd. He can’t help but feel the need to push.
“What’s the matter?” he mutters, hesitantly reaching over for Mitsuba’s sleeve. He watches as the boy jerks away almost instantly. “Huh? Sousuke?”
“Don’t go touching stuff that isn’t yours.”
Mitsuba’s voice is sharp. Kou genuinely has no clue what the hell he’s supposed to do here.
Did he cross a boundary? Did he cross an unspoken rule between them? But Mitsuba’s never shown discomfort like this before. It’s not just discomfort; it’s possible that it’s fear. But he thought that the fear was rooted from the shore, not whatever this is.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Can we leave already?”
“Sousuke,”
Kou narrows his eyes towards Mitsuba’s figure. The boy is rushingly putting away the camera, but the faster he attempts to move, the more his sleeve seems to swish around.
The more petals fall from inside.
“I don’t-”
When Kou reaches for Mitsuba’s sleeve, he doesn’t have enough time to back away. Kou can tell he would have- the look of shock on his face says it all.
“What the hell..?!”
“Hold still,” the blonde mutters, “I need to-”
As Mitsuba tries to pull away, a harsh breeze blocks Kou’s vision momentarily. It seems to block Mitsuba’s, too- maybe it wasn’t a great idea to go out to the beach. The temperature is fine, but the breeze is slowly getting worse.
“Sousuke, you-”
The ocean meets the sunset.
For a moment, Kou feels his heart skip a beat. But it’s not one of those sweet moments from the past where he’d accidentally meet Sousuke’s gaze and have to look away because he was flustered- it feels like the opposite. His words get stuck and jumbled in his throat.
While he’s frozen, Mitsuba takes the opportunity to back away nervously.
“What.. are you?”
“What are you talking about?” Mitsuba mumbles, “You’re crazy,”
“You aren’t Sousuke, are you?”
He goes silent.
Kou stares at Mitsuba in disbelief.
When the breeze hit Mitsuba, it moved his hair away from his face. The half that he was always hiding had been shown clearly- and where Mitsuba’s other eye should have been, there’s a cluster of petals.
The petals are beautiful.
They’re cherry blossom petals. They’re easy to recognize.
They bloom in the spring, and they don’t last very long despite their beauty. They actually don’t live very long at all. Kou knows because Akane told him so. Flowers have never been Kou’s biggest interest, but he managed to pick up on a few things here and there. He figured maybe Sousuke would like to take pictures of some if he got the chance.
But now he realizes that Sousuke really won’t ever be able to take a picture ever again.
“That’s not..”
“All this time, you were.. a fake?”
“Minamoto-kun, I..”
There’s a small silence between them. Mitsuba’s expression is unreadable, and Kou’s emotions are incomprehensible. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling. He doesn’t bother trying to understand it, either. This scenario is overwhelming. This is all so overwhelming. Kou can’t think of any proper things to say.
“We’re going home.”
That’s all he manages to muster up. He doesn’t reach for Mitsuba’s hand- he just turns on his heels and begins to walk away.
As expected, Mitsuba follows behind him. He’s at a safe distance.
Silence follows them, too.
When they get home, it’s awkward. Of course it is, that’s a given.
Mitsuba doesn’t think twice about napping on the couch once they get home. Though he doesn’t go to Kou to announce it like usual- he doesn’t smile and ask Kou to make him snacks once he wakes up. He just lays himself down and hides away in silence. Not a word leaves his mouth from the second he gets there.
They go the entire day without really talking to each other.
That’s a first, really.
Kou thinks about it as he cooks in silence. He takes a peek into the living room once he has the chance, just to make sure Mitsuba is fine- and as expected, the boy hasn’t moved an inch. He’s still lying on the couch in the same position he was hours ago. It’s kind of sad to look at, actually. Mitsuba’s always lying there or doing something easy to pass the time, but this has a completely different atmosphere to it. He seems miserable.
Kou lets out a little sigh and walks back to his progress. He’s almost done with dinner, so it’d be better if he focused on cooking rather than Mitsuba’s wellbeing- but he just can’t help it. His brain has grown accustomed to Mitsuba’s dumb little antics. His complaining, his habits, everything. It’s been embedded in Kou’s mind in only a few months.
Is he mad at Mitsuba?
He lets out a shaky sigh.
He wouldn’t say he’s mad, it’s more like frustration. All this time, he thought he was talking to his best friend- but instead, he’s been getting close with someone he doesn’t even really know.
But is that completely true?
Mitsuba looks and acts like Sousuke. There are clear differences here and there, but there are also heavy similarities. Is that enough to say they’re different people? Mitsuba didn’t quite deny it when Kou said he wasn’t Sousuke.
Kou almost feels stupid.
He bites his lip. No, he definitely feels stupid. Mitsuba made it clear multiple times that he was anything but Sousuke. He would say that he didn’t have specific memories or know certain people. He also had different tastes and interests. He made it as obvious as possible that he wasn’t Sousuke. That doesn’t explain the petals, though. That’s something Kou doesn’t quite grasp yet. He’s too busy on the whole mix-up rather than Mitsuba’s actual identity and what he might be.
He stirs some noodles in a pot gloomily. The frustration has almost instantly died down into a sort of guilt- he’s been treating Mitsuba like another person this entire time. That has to hurt, right? He gets so caught up in others’ feelings, that he doesn’t even bother to care for his own. The strange betrayal he feels in his chest remains, but his thoughts are mainly surrounding Mitsuba’s emotions.
Maybe Mitsuba is the one who’s mad.
Honestly, Kou wouldn’t blame him. Right now, it feels like Mitsuba has every right to be mad- but then again, Mitsuba never outright said that he wasn’t Sousuke. He’d make it obvious, but in a way, he still played along.
Kou gasps.
Mitsuba has been playing along this whole time. It couldn’t have been for Kou’s sake, could it? Unless there was some sick and terrible and absolutely agonizing consequence for giving information on his true self, Mitsuba would have no reason to play along.
He blinks. Maybe he should just get Mitsuba to tell him before he starts jumping to conclusions. He doesn’t want his guilt to get any worse than it already is. He wouldn’t know how to handle it other than apologizing profusely.
He continues with his cooking process, draining the water from the noodles and grabbing two bowls. He already has the sauce prepared- two bowls of sauce, actually, because Mitsuba refuses to eat anything that has been touched by mushrooms. Kou has that fact memorized.
He grabs two forks and puts them into both bowls once they’re all set. He places both bowls onto the dining table.
He’s ready for this.
He quietly makes his way to the living room, hovering over the couch Mitsuba is resting on. For a moment, he reaches his arm out to shake the boy’s body- but he retracts it in fears of startling him. Mitsuba doesn’t need that right now. Instead, he settles on speaking.
“Dinner’s ready,”
There's silence for a few seconds. It feels longer than it should.
“Not hungry,”
Another silence.
“It’s spaghetti,”
There’s agonizing pauses between every sentence.
“Really?”
Kou awkwardly steps back.
“Yeah,”
“Okay,”
“Uhm,” at this point, he doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to say. No amount of determination will get him through this one. “I’ll be at the dinner table,”
“..’kay,”
He turns around and begins to walk back.
It’s the first time he’s sat alone at the dining table since before Mitsuba’s arrival. Honestly, it sucks. He considers calling Teru and maybe asking for some words of advice, but there’s no point. Why is he going to burden his older brother because he can’t fix a damn relationship of his own? Teru wouldn’t want to hear that. No one would.
He lets out a little groan. All of these problems have been caused by no one but himself- it’s his fault he’s so gullible and desperate for anything Sousuke related.
He begins to stir around his noodles with the sauce, mixing them a good amount. He really doesn’t like how quiet it is. When he motions the fork towards his mouth, he looks up to see the seat in front of him being pulled.
Mitsuba takes a seat without saying anything.
It’s a small improvement from the silence, because now Kou isn’t the only one at the table- but it makes the awkward atmosphere worse. He can hear Mitsuba’s fork accidentally scratch against the bowl every now and then. Their voices aren’t there to overpower the noise.
“So.. uh,” Kou begins, feeling a harsh stare from Mitsuba fall onto his face in an instant. “Sous- wait, no.. uh..”
“Mitsuba,”
“..huh?”
“I’ve only ever been called Mitsuba,” the boy in front of him mumbles, “I’d never been called Sousuke before you called me that,”
“Oh,” Kou swallows thickly, “Okay, then.. Mitsuba,” he continues, “Could you tell me.. what you are?”
“..I don’t really know myself,” Mitsuba shrugs, “I’ve kinda wondered the same thing. All I can really tell you is that..” he pauses, looking for the right words to say. “I’m not human,”
“Well I mean, that part is.. kind of obvious now,”
“..yeah,”
There’s another silence as they eat their food. There are so many questions that both of them want to ask the other- but there’s no way they could bring it up. The tension is so thick that it feels suffocating.
“Minamoto-kun,”
“Mmh?” Kou looks up from his bowl. “What is it?”
“Aren’t..” Mitsuba fidgets with his hands, a nervous look plastered on his face. “Aren’t you mad?”
“Mad?”
“Yeah,” he doesn’t seem like he knows what to say, either. At least that makes two of them. “Why aren’t you upset that.. everything turned out like this?” his voice is getting a little shaky. Kou can hear it. “Aren’t you going to kick me out? I’m- I’m not your Sousuke, you know that already- so shouldn’t you hate me?”
“I wouldn’t say- well, I mean.. I am upset,” Kou puts his fork down and reaches over for a napkin to wipe the sauce off his own face. Maybe eating dinner while having an emotional conversation isn’t the best idea. “But it’s not like I’m upset at you, I just.. I don’t really know how I feel?”
“Uh-huh..?”
“I’m upset that my best friend is gone,” he lets out a little sigh, “but I can’t blame that on you.”
“I’m sorry,”
“Eh?”
“I’m sorry that I’m not Sousuke,” Mitsuba shakes his head, “I have his body, and we share a lot of traits- but I’m not him.. and I never will be.” he holds back his tears. It’s a pitiful sight. “You can put a camera in my hands and teach me how to take photos, but I’ll never have his skill or his interests. I’ll never like peaches the same way he did, and I’ll never act the exact same way he did. I’m something different.”
“Mitsuba..”
“I’m sorry they chose to use him for my creation. I didn’t know your friend.. and it’s thanks to him I exist now, but..” his voice trails off, “..it’s obvious you’re uncomfortable with the idea of someone else living as him,”
There’s a silence between them for a few minutes.
“You shouldn’t apologize for that,”
“What?”
“It’s not like you have any reason to,” Kou looks over at Mitsuba’s eye, but the boy refuses to make eye contact. Kou can’t really blame him for that, either. “You can’t apologize for not being someone else.. and you shouldn’t apologize for someone else’s actions.”
“..but I’m something completely different in your best friend’s body. Doesn’t- doesn’t that make you want to hate me?”
“No..” he mutters, “I don’t think I could ever bring myself to hate you. You might not be Sousuke, but that doesn’t mean.. you’re not my friend. We’ve spent a lotta time together and stuff.. I don’t think I have a reason to hate you,” he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, “I don’t really understand you, but I want to.”
“Ah..?”
“All this time I’ve been treating you like someone else, so..” he lets out a small sigh, “I’m really sorry for doing that. If I could just accept that Sousuke’s gone.. then I never would’ve done that to you. I would’ve questioned it more instead of just going with whatever you said.. like, about you running away and stuff. I guess the petals are the only thing that really caught me off guard..”
“..I’m not upset at you for treating me like that. At least I don’t think I am.. wouldn’t that be a normal response?” Mitsuba murmurs, his mouth full of noodles. “Oh, yeah.. mmhf.. about the petals..” he swallows heavily, that way he can speak clearly. “They’re basically.. how I live?”
“Eh? Mitsuba, you’re a flower?!”
“Idiot!” he huffs right after hearing Kou speak, “I’m not a flower, my body is like.. running on flowers? I dunno.. they never explained it to me. I just get flowers every now and then so I can keep living like this,”
“Who exactly is they?”
“Uhm..”
“..don’t wanna share?” Kou watches as Mitsuba nods his head. Maybe it’s a bad memory, or something he just wants to keep private- curiosity is eating at his mind, but Kou doesn’t push it. He thinks he’s found out enough for today. Pushing will overwhelm him twice as bad. “That’s fine, uh.. hold on a sec,”
“Hm?”
Kou reaches over for another napkin and extends his arm forward so that he can press it against Mitsuba’s face. The boy’s mouth is absolutely covered in sauce- so he gently swishes it back and forth to clean him. He probably wouldn’t have realized otherwise.
“There,” Kou gives a small smile, “you know, you’re pretty messy, Mitsuba..”
“..ehe,” Mitsuba mumbles, giving a smile back. “You’re not any better, Minamoto-kun. You’ve got stains on your shirt,”
“Ehhh..?” the former whines, his smile only growing wider. He can’t help but laugh a little. “I was cooking, so it’s different! That’s from when I was making it earlier!”
“Yeah, right..” Mitsuba laughs along with him. The sound is sweet compared to the former scenario they were just dealing with. “..so, I’m not going anywhere, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“Mmmmph..” he pushes the bowl towards Kou’s direction, that way Kou can stack them. “You aren’t gonna kick me out for not being.. you know?”
“Of course not!” Kou blurts out as he stands up, “Mitsuba, even if you were an alien.. you’re still my friend! I’m not kickin’ you out- you wouldn’t have anywhere to go, right?”
“..okay, first of all, I’m nothing like an alien. Never make that comparison ever again..” Mitsuba mutters in slight shock, “..and uhm- no, I wouldn’t. So I was.. really worried that you’d just throw me out,”
“That’s why I said if you were,” Kou pushes in his chair with his foot, “Mitsuba.. no matter what, you’ll always have a place in my home, okay?”
“Really?”
“Of course!”
“Jeez..” Mitsuba gives him a sweet look. For a moment, Kou’s heart skips a beat- and thankfully, it’s not one of those scary ones. “You know, Minamoto-kun.. for some reason, you’re really nice to someone you haven’t known for long. Didn’t your older brother ever tell you not to trust strangers?”
“We’re not strangers,” Kou smiles confidently as he walks towards the kitchen sink, “we’re frieeeends!”
“Whatever..” he hears Mitsuba respond, “I’m going to your room to change clothes, I’m going to watch some TV and then head to bed..”
“Haven’t you been napping this entire time?”
“I was laying there and bathing in the warmth of the blankets. There’s a difference!”
“Whatever you say..”
He looks down at the two bowls in his hands.
Kou feels like he’s making the right decision. Even if he’s still grieving over Sousuke, he has no reason to be taking that out on Mitsuba. The boy said it himself- he would never be Sousuke no matter what happened, and Kou believes that. He’ll acknowledge that fact instead of just forcing himself to believe otherwise.
He’s okay with being friends with Mitsuba.
But just friends with Mitsuba.
Unfortunately for them both, his heart still belongs to someone else. He hasn’t and doesn’t plan on moving on.
He has yet to fix that problem.