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Severus hadn’t dropped into his headspace in weeks, and he was beginning to feel the harmful effects of his poor choices. He snapped at the students, avoided other professors, and could not sleep at night.
Remus constantly annoyed him, asking if he was eating his meals properly or listening to their bedtime rule, and Severus found himself lying to the werewolf. He knew his Caregiver was doing it out of concern, but Severus couldn’t bring himself to care.
Finding time to regress during the school year was much harder than Severus thought it would be. His Little side was a huge secret. If anyone found out about it—especially the ministry—he would be out of a job. Severus couldn’t afford that, and it would be unfair to Remus to be financially responsible for both of them.
And since Remus couldn’t live in his quarters at Hogwarts and checked up on him less, Severus had been testing the limitations of the strict rules Remus had given him. He started using his suppressant pills again, refusing to eat meals unless Remus pushed him to, staying up marking papers into the early morning hours, and drinking with no supervision.
So, it really came as no surprise when Remus let himself into Severus’ apartment one night with concern written across his face.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” That was all Remus said in greeting.
“It took you this long to notice?” Severus snorted dismissively as he continued to mark assignments. “I’ve been busy, Remus.”
Remus wasn’t pleased with that response but chose to move on. “I know it’s been busy lately,” he sighed, pushing his fingers into his tussled, greying hair. “I know you need your alone time, and I’ve been trying to give you your personal space, but you’re getting worse. You haven’t messaged me at all asking to drop into headspace, so I figured I would just come here and see if you’re up to it tonight. It would do us both a lot of good.”
Severus didn’t look up at him. He couldn’t bear to see the look of disappointment on his face when he rejected the offer. “I’m fine. Sorry, you came all this way, but I don’t want to regress.”
“Severus,” Remus tried again. “You look so tired. Are you sure?”
“I said that I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about it.” Severus said, flicking the quill against the coffee table in a rapid, repetitive motion. He wanted to add a sharp It’s none of your fucking business, but that was a surefire way for some soap in the mouth and a spanking.
Remus’ eyes narrowed, and he crossed his arms across his chest—Severus hated that pose. It was a position Severus had become all too familiar with, a displeased Caregiver whose not in the mood for a bratty, misbehaving Little.
Sure enough, Remus said, “Watch your tone, Severus. As your Caregiver, it is my job to worry about you. Especially if it is causing you to act out like this.”
Though the werewolf’s voice was quiet, Severus heard him clearly. At first, Severus felt the need to hunch his shoulders inwards but settled for sending a sour glare in Remus’ direction that only furthered the man’s frown.
“Severus, do not look at me like that.”
An irritated sigh left Severus’ lips, and the quill snapped against the table, splattering ink all over the parchment. He clenched his hand into a trembling fist, his emotions curling around his neck like a tight noose. Severus wanted to regress, he wanted to sleep, he wanted to be left alone and exist in his own space for a while without Remus constantly checking in on him.
Severus knew he was being ungrateful and disobedient. He did like it when Remus was here; it was nice to cuddle with him as he did while they were home, but being back at Hogwarts meant more responsibilities, and he didn't have the time to regress anymore.
And cuddling always meant dropping into his headspace.
“Little one,” Remus continued gently, coming up behind the armchair and rubbing soothing motions on the back of his shoulder. “I’m being serious, sweetheart. Tell daddy what’s wrong.”
“Goddamnit, Lupin!” Severus suddenly shouted, lurching away from his Caregiver’s touch, his fingernails digging into the palm of his hands, drawing droplets of blood that beaded like rubies on his skin. “I have to get this marking done, so leave me the fuck alone!”
Remus pursed his lips, his eyes narrowing. “Severus Tobias Snape, you do not talk back to me like that. I’ve had it with your bratty attitude, especially when trying to help you.”
Severus promptly burst into tears. All his emotions were turning their ugly heads, and Severus just needed to sleep.
“Oh, Severus—” Remus sighed, immediately moving to pick up the crying boy. “My good little boy, please tell me what’s going on. I can’t do anything unless you tell me.”
Severus sniffled miserably, gripping the edges of Remus’ shirt. “I’ve…been using my suppressants again—” He cringed when he heard Remus suck in a surprised breath. “I’ve deliberately ignored rules and lied to you when you asked, so I’m not good.” Severus finished with a choked sob, and the tears began to roll down his cheeks.
When Remus remained silent for a few minutes, Severus managed to glance up at him and saw that Remus was staring vacantly across the room. Severus’ stomach dropped when he saw Remus mouth suppressants with a shake of his head.
Finally, Remus let out a long and weary sigh, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Thank you for being honest with me, and I feel this is partially my fault. I tried to give you your space as you wanted. You insisted on being treated like an adult, and I respected that choice and gave you the freedom to do so. However, your deliberate disobedience to our rules and your disregard for your health tells me I made the wrong choice and you can’t take care of yourself without help. As your Caregiver, I have a responsibility to you, and I’m sorry that I missed the mark.”
Severus ducked his head and looked at his hands, staying very quiet, He didn’t like the tone Remus’ voice had taken, and he knew that he wasn’t going to get away with this with just a simple punishment of writing lines or corner time.
Remus said, “Just because you’ve been disobedient does not mean you are not a good boy. You’ve made some poor choices, and by the end of our discussion tonight, everything will be rectified. Can you tell me what you think the punishment should be based on your behaviour?”
Severus’ mouth went dry. He swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked away the tears. “The punishment...” Severus began meekly, his stomach turned watery with nervous apprehension, and he shut his mouth. He knew what punishment he should get. The reason why Remus asked him in the first place was to gauge if Severus understood what he did was wrong. There was no way he would walk out of here without a very sore bottom.
“Yes?” Remus prompted, raising an eyebrow.
With his lips wobbling traitourously, Severus drew the back of his hand across his dripping nose with a sniff. “A spanking,” He finished quietly, looking down at the loose threads in the carpet.
Remus looked at him with approval, and he nodded his head. “That’s correct. Do you know why we have the rules we do, Severus?” Remus asked quietly. “You need to trust me to take care of you. I know that sometimes it can be a bit confusing for you to comprehend what you shouldn’t and should do—especially regarding neglecting your headspace.”
Severus nodded in reluctance but stayed quiet. He wasn’t sure if he could speak even if he tried.
“Good,” Remus praised again, and his gentle smile was sympathetic. He brought Severus over to the couch and placed him on his lap. Severus knew this position well and reluctantly laid across Remus, his face on the couch and his hips just in the middle of the werewolf’s lap. Severus had to fight back the tears as Remus pushed his shirt up and out of the way and tugged his trousers right down to his ankles.
Humiliating was the only word he could think of to describe his current situation. If anyone were to walk into his apartment and see Severus bent across Remus’ lap in a position that could only mean he was about to get spanked with his bare ass on display, Severus would die in mortification.
“Severus, do you understand what’s about to happen?” Remus said calmly, running his fingers through his soft raven hair in an affectionate manner.
Severus thought this was probably the worst thing the werewolf could do. The bastard would act as if he cared, like he was doing this not for his benefit but for his.
His temper was flaring again, and Severus was tempted just to tell him to fuck off. Still, knowing it would only land him deeper in hot water, he reluctantly nodded his head, doing his best to try and ignore Remus's loving touches, refusing to be the slightest bit comforted by them.
“Use your words, Severus. I need to know you’re hearing what I’m saying.”
At Severus’ continued stubborn silence, Remus sighed deeply through his nose, giving him just the lightest swat on the ass with the palm of his hand, causing Severus to flinch both in surprise and shame.
“Yes,” He sniffed, thoroughly humiliated at this point. “I understand, But—” Severus’ breath stuttered in his throat when he saw the hero pull out a wooden paddle from behind one of the couch pillows. He involuntarily began trying to squirm away, but Remus placed a steady hand on his lower back, using just a fraction of his werewolf strength to hold him in place.
“Wait, you can’t! Not with that!” Severus sputtered incredulously, kicking his legs in pure frustration. So many confusing emotions were hitting him all at once he didn’t know how to deal with them all.
Remus’ reply was carefully calm yet firm, leaving no room for argument. “Yes, Severus, This is what I’m using. Mind you, you deliberately disobeyed me and broke the rules we made together.”
Severus didn’t know why he expected the insufferable self-righteous bastard to listen to his pleas. He couldn’t help but let out an aggravated cry and began to kick even more, writhing this way and that, trying desperately to escape the werewolf’s herculean hold. It was no use trying his luck against him, he was simply held down with more force than before, yet still, Severus persisted.
A searing pain suddenly smacked his ass, knocking the breath right out of his lungs. It stung like fire, tears pricked at the corner of his eyes, and his lower lip traitorously wobbled. Immediately stilling, Severus looked up at Remus with very wide eyes.
“Now that I have your attention,” Remus said softly. “I want you to count the spankings, Severus. To 20.”
Fuck, that was only one. How was he going to make it through the next 19?
“But. . .but. . .” Severus whined. “That’s not fair!”
Remus arched an eyebrow. “Fair? I think it’s perfectly fair. Severus, what's been happening the last few days was horrible, and I know you agree.”
“I’m sorry,” Severus’ voice cracked. “Remus, I’m sorry! I didn’t want to do all that, not really.”
“Shh,” Remus rubbed small circles on his back, trying to comfort him. “I know you didn’t, baby. But you still have to face the consequences of your actions. It will be over soon, I promise.”
Remus raised the paddle again, and Severus was about to tell him to wait, but before he could say anything, Remus brought the paddle down quite hard on the tender flesh, and with a loud yelp, his legs involuntarily flew upon the impact. The tears were back in full force, and he had to bite his tongue to keep from swearing. With a gentle nudge from Remus, Severus remembered he was supposed to be counting them.
He steeled his jaw. “Tuh-two.” He shakily stammered.
“Good, Severus,” Remus murmured. “18 more to go.”
By the fourth spanking, Severus was audibly whimpering in pain. And by the sixth, he was outright sobbing hysterically. Yeah, the spankings hurt, but it was more of a result of embarrassment and shame that he was taking the punishment so badly.
Remus spanked him again, and something gave out inside of him. Severus dropped hard into his headspace , and he could feel himself start to pee, but it was too late to say anything. He cried, fat tears dripping down his cheeks as his bladder released, soaking Remus’ lap and running down onto the floor.
“M’sorry Daddy!” Severus wailed. “Daddy, I’m sorry! I…I didn’t mean to go potty.”
Severus could hear the sound of the paddle being tossed to the side, and Remus immediately scooped him into his chest.
“It’s okay, little one,” Remus hushed him desperately, rubbing his back in soothing motions. “Daddy knows you didn’t mean to, and I should have reminded you to try to potty before we started the spankings.”
Severus continued to cry in his neck, even after Remus did a simple cleaning spell on the both of them. Luckily, Remus had enough sense to summon his pacifier, and Severus greedily began to suck on it, even as Remus laid him down on the couch to slip a brand-new diaper under him. It took a good ten minutes of Remus’ gentle reassurances and cuddling before Severus’ hiccuping sobs slowed to a stop. Remus had him blow into a tissue a few times before Severus finally calmed down enough to simply slump tiredly against the werewolf.
Severus was happy to be in finally be in his floaty Little headspace he had been neglecting for days, content to curl up on the couch with his Caregiver for the immediate future. And when Remus started to hum one of his favourite lullabies, it was game over, and Severus’ eyes slowly began to shut.
The last thing he heard before being lulled to sleep was Remus’ warm humming and a soft I love you, little cub.