Work Text:
Depending on who you ask, they will blame different people for the disaster that happened 15 minutes ago, the same disaster that can arguably still be considered ongoing.
For example:
Shen Yuan will blame Shang Qinghua.
Shang Qinghua will blame Shen Yuan.
After the immediate shock of the incident the following reactions were mixed, but not too unexpected. Luo Binghe was crying, perfectly on cue. Liu Qingge looked deeply uncomfortable, which was not rare. Mobei Jun was wearing his usual stone face, even though his eyes were slightly narrowed while staring at his nervous boyfriend. Liu Mingyan was writing down god knows what on her phone while her girlfriend was trying to contain an ugly laughter (if “trying” was not trying at all).
Doing some kind of damage control seemed impossible at the time, so Shen Yuan took out his frustration on his fellow accomplice.
“Now see what you did! You made Binghe cry!” Shen Yuan said, you know, like a liar.
Shang Qinghua was stunned. That soft maiden-like act might work on Shen Yuan, but Shang Qinghua could feel the homicidal intentions coming his way.
“You should've thought about that before you fucked me!” he responded, like the gravedigger he is. “Fuck,” he said when he realised he said that out loud.
To be clear. This was both their fault and neither one of them would ever admit to that. Partly because they were both too stubborn for their own good when it came to each other. Partly because both of them were buzzed at the time and don’t really remember the exact chain of events that night.
They do however both remember how they became friends, barely half a year before that one fateful night it all started.
Shang Qinghua’s web novel had gone on long enough that he had a hard time keeping track of the monster train wreck that was Proud Immortal Demon Way. But telling his fans that the plot was written in some sort of caffeine and sleep depraved induced possession and therefore not something he remembers particularly well felt like a recipe for disaster. Even though it should've been pretty much expected considering he managed to pull 10k out of his ass every week on top of school.
Somehow it had still gained traction, which led him to this signing event he had put off for too long but eventually caved in to due to the money offered. The line of waiting fans was way too long for his comfort, much like a long snake ready to devour his last shred of dignity as an author. After barely talking to one fan it was pretty clear he had to rely fully on the fan-made Wikia to answer even a fraction of the questions asked. He had up to 10 tabs open per fan and shamelessly answered while quoting the Wikia, sometimes word for word, and adding his own improvised thoughts. He was very thankful for the internet, ambitious nerds and his overheated laptop (that was currently fighting for its life) at that moment.
Some questions made him actually want to kill himself and everyone in the room, like after hearing “What is [insert wife number xxx Shang Qinghua doesn’t remember] bra-size?” for like the 40th time or “Why is there no watersport/ armpit-hair-licking/ [insert sacrilegious kink]?” (Honestly, if he was paid enough, he would probably write almost anything. Desperate times, you know). Other interactions made him strangely proud, like when he saw all the hard-working cosplayers or when he signed a hand-made replica of the protagonist’s heavenly pillar. All and all, he was very thankful for the decision he made to wear a hamster-mask to cover his face because as thankful he was for all the support, he was mortified by the thought of his relatives or classmates finding out. Back then, he didn’t know he jinxed himself big-time.
After a traumatising long flood of smelly (probably) incels, this pale twink-adjacent young man shows up in front of the low table. He stood out from the crowd with how his clothing was fitted, matching and clean and he had the vibe of someone who actually took regular showers. Even though he was not necessarily Shang Qinghua’s type, he could recognise a good-looking face under those thick round glasses that enlarged his already big eyes slightly, amplifying his intense stare. He was kind of cute in the “frail late Qing-dynasty boy”-way or “dying of tuberculosis, but make it fashionable”-way.
At first the young man was mumbling nervously, ears and neck flushed and his eyes stubbornly locked to his feet, but soon enough he built up the confidence of asking a shit-ton of questions. Surprising the author and making him set a new record of the amount of tabs he had to open to answer this young man with a terribly good memory. Although it was somewhat refreshing to talk about more plot-related subjects, it was way harder to rake his memory (and the internet) for a shred of context so he had a chance of saying something somewhat satisfying and not exposing him as the fraud he is. Like, what kind of author doesn’t remember his own world-building? Shang Qinghua, apparently. The laptop was burning and making small, dying sounds, begging for relief under Shang Qinghua's quick impatient fingers. Poor thing. He made a mental note to finish some of the plot holes, so he didn't have to be grilled like this again. Like the publishing company would ever be able to persuade him to make a public appearance again. Hell no.
“-and that cave with the Eternal Wisdom Mushroom. Didn’t it give the half-demon the power to foresee the future? How could he still be caught off guard by the Southeastern Demon Princess two chapters later? It was never mentioned again!”
Yeah that was a good question indeed. Well that happened because “Great Master” Airplane is writing a trashy stallion novel, and if this young man wanted to read something well-written with a meaningful and consistent plot he SHOULDN’T READ PIDW! It was that easy, really. Which he didn’t say of course. But it was on the tip of his tongue, tempting him. Instead he just answered with his best retail worker voice and laughed awkwardly like, “Damn, you got me there,” while he looked forward to slipping under the covers of his unmade bed at home.
Eventually he could go home. Remove the hamster-mask. Take a shower and get rid of that foul smell the vast majority of the male fans polluted the air with. Damning the male species while simultaneously cursing himself for being attracted to them. Study for a while while absentmindedly slurping a pack of instant noodles. At last falling asleep, way later than he intended to do.
___
Getting a double degree was not really in character for Shang Qinghua. He was many things: gay, a terrible author, weak-willed, constantly horny; but being ambitious in school was never one of them. Unfortunately his parents had refused to pay his tuition fee if he didn’t major in “something useful”. Which led him to reluctantly choosing logistics, while also taking courses in writing and literature. It was hell, but also a small rebellion against his parents' expectations. That made it sort of worth the stress. But only sort of, and now he was too stubborn to quit. So, while reading the painfully boring courses like “Business Intelligence”, “Commercial law”, amongst others, he also attended a course in western literature classics: partly to get inspiration and maybe, just maybe, grow as an author; but mostly because it sounded easy. As the classes progressed, he was faced with the undeniable truth that it was, admittingly, not that easy. Which led him to binge-reading Anna Karenina, messily taking notes and chugging a worrying amount of energy drinks the night before a crucial seminar he totally did not forget about.
“Shang Qinghua!” Suddenly all eyes were on him and he shrinked in his seat. “Anna and Stivia both commit adultery in the books. Can you describe similarities and differences between the two?” the professor continued, unbothered by Shang Qinghua's terrified expression. Quickly he scrambled through his notes, surprising even himself when he actually managed to say something intelligible in response. If intelligible was almost two coherent sentences, stuttering and one small note about sexism until the professor nodded and moved on to another victim. Unbeknownst to Shang Qinghua, someone was watching him all along.
___
Shen Yuan recognised that stuttering.
___
The moment the seminar ended, a young pretty-boy steered to him with a determined look on his face. Eerily familiar. Where had he seen that face before? It couldn't be… could it?
“I know who you are ‘Great Master’-mnfh”, Shen Yuan shouted with the subtlety of a nuclear bomb, too excited to realise he exposed both of them as trashy nerds, only stopped by Shang Qinghua’s hand on his mouth. Who then proceeded to quickly drag them both away to an empty toilet.
“You absolute idiot”, he gritted. “It’s supposed to be a secret”.
Shen Yuan was way too smug about being right to care about Shang Qinghua's anger.
___
After that incident, Shen Yuan wouldn’t leave him alone. It was… not that bad. At least he didn’t have to sit by himself anymore. The downside was, however, that the critics he had almost forgotten about from the fan-meet didn’t cease.
“- and if we look aside that, do you remember how a girl just disappeared suddenly IN a threesome in chapter 367. Like did you forget there were two wives there??”
“Do you even have a life?” Shang Qinghua snapped back at him, which earned him an exasperated look.
It was a mutually beneficial friendship. Shang Qinghua basically lived at Shen Yuan’s place for two very important reasons. 1: The TV was huge with an equally huge sofa and 2: he got free food, because apparently he befriended a little (ok they were the same height but) rich boy who got healthy pre-made food delivered everyday. Shang Qinghua’s little garbage dump apartment could never compare. So, what did Shen Yuan gain? He got extraordinarily good company, be the first to read yet-to-be-released PIDW-chapters and even get merch he pretended like he didn’t want but then aggressively wouldn’t let go of.
___
A few weeks after their co-existing started, a heated argument broke out over some dumb xianxia drama they both watched. They were both a bit too invested for being two grown ass men.
“I won’t listen to your opinions on female characters! You literally named a chapter ‘Journey To The Breast’! This is why you don’t have a girlfriend!”
Shang Qinghua was dumbfounded.
“MAYBE I don’t have a girlfriend because I am fucking gay!”
The silence was deafening.
Shen Yuan's face went through a wide range of emotions, settling on something reminiscent of thoughtfulness.
“You're gay?” he eventually said, chewing his lips while staring through those big thick glasses.
“You didn’t know?”
“No…”
There was a long silence. Shang Qinghua wasn’t exactly nervous, but they hadn’t actually talked about this subject before.
“I’m straight.”
“Ok?”
___
“It is not weird that I found the male lead attractive! He is SUPPOSED to be attractive!” Shen Yuan shouted, as if he was actually arguing with someone. He wasn’t. The living room had been quiet, aside from the TV-generated buzz and the low tapping from Shang Qinghua fingers on his laptop. He had been outlining a new chapter, not paying attention to the show they were currently watching nor what his friend was saying.
“What?”
“You find women attractive right? You're gay but you can still tell if a woman is hot. Right, Airplane Bro?” Shen Yuan continued: “It’s normal!”
“Well yeah. It’s like… I can tell a curtain is nice even if I don’t wanna fuck it,” Shang Qinghua said. “Not that women are curtains. Like… not objects.”
Shen Yuan gave him a judgemental glare. “It’s ironic you say women are not objects while writing that atrocity. Every chapter you write is setting back women's rights by at least a few months. Hypocrite.”
Shang Qinghua huffed. Well, it was not NOT wrong. But at least he got paid. Sorry women, but a man’s gotta eat.
___
A similar incident happened a few weeks later. This time they were actually arguing.
“I'm just saying! It’s not straight if you want to BE the woman in that situation! It means you want the male lead, not the female lead!” Shang Qinghua stated to Shen Yuan’s dismay, after a conversation that had started something like this:
They had been watching a new overproduced xianxia drama that aired every saturday (at this point they just wordlessly slid into the sofa at 18:00 every week). *Cue heart-swooning moment where the protagonist got saved by this muscly prince-guy in an effortless princess-carry*. Shen Yuan had mumbled something along the lines of ”She's lucky”, probably unbeknownst to himself, which had led Shang Qinghua to respond with “That’s sus Bro…” which in turn had set off this argument.
Shen Yuan was acting very stubborn considering how wrong he was.
“Like, objectively, she's very lucky. To be saved, that is. He just happened to be attractive!”
Shang Qinghua just cocked an unimpressed brow at him. This wasn’t the first time Shen Yuan had made comments about this particular actor. One day, maybe, that blockhead would realise something about himself.
___
“I think if I was offered like 500k yuan I would've sex with a man,” Shen Yuan said, seemingly out of nowhere. Actually, he had been thinking about it for some time. What it would take. Like even a straight man had a limit, he rationalised.
“First of all: I am glad you've moved past denial and anger to bargaining. At least it’s a step in the right direction, Bro. Second of all: I think your family would probably send that amount of money if you asked,” Shang Qinghua answered without looking up from his computer screen. The luminescent light reflecting onto his bored expression.
Shen Yuan didn’t want to admit that Shang Qinghua had hit the nail on the head with the money aspect. Especially since they had wired him around that amount last Christmas, which he spent almost exclusively on merch and a car he barely drove. But! This was a hypothetical scenario! Hypothetical!
Shen Yuan ignored him and continued:
“Okay, how much would it take for you to have sex with a woman?”
His friend put away his laptop with an exaggerated sigh, as if Shen Yuan was a particularly annoying mosquito.
“I've actually had sex with a woman once, at the end of 12th grade,” Shang Qinghua said, effectively sending Shen Yuan into a major state of shock. “I was probably her worst sex ever, I couldn't get it up unless I thought about Gao Weiguang naked.”
Shen Yuan was absolutely bewildered, he had just kind of assumed they were both virgins.
“Wait you have?!”
“We broke up shortly after, or you know, she broke up with me. I wasn’t too sad though. I wrote a wife after her in PIDW, one of the first.” Shang Qinghua looked thoughtful. “I would probably sleep with a woman for like two months worth of rent and like… three beers, maybe two if I was feeling desperate.”
“So you've actually been with a living breathing woman and you still write like you barely have seen one in real life?!” Shen Yuan's voice raised slightly. “You, the one who wrote, and I am quoting directly: ‘her plump breasts strained against her robe, pleading to be freed’ and ‘her flower shyly opened up for the heavenly pillar’. You've actually had sex?!” Shen Yuan was almost impressed.
“I do not remember writing that, therefore I'll not take accountability.”
___
A few months later, the both of them were invited to a house party hosted by a girl they vaguely knew, Xiao Gongzhu, in her luxurious penthouse located in an expensive part of the city. She was painfully obnoxious and spoiled, but just about everyone was willing to turn a blind eye for a party in a place like that, including Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua. It was a win-win situation really: she got to show off her impossible lifestyle, they (all the other poorer students) got free alcohol and music from some semi-famous DJ.
Shang Qinghua had refused to hang out before this party with some lame excuse about “I've some errands to do” which was (unbeknownst to Shen Yuan) codeword for “I want to hookup with someone at the party and I want to be ‘prepared’”. It was basically just him masturbating with a medium sized dildo after cleaning himself inside and out while drinking a beer as his version of “pre-game”. As pathetic as it sounded, Shang Qinghua was motivated.
Once there, they had quickly made their way to the offensively big sofa, barely avoiding getting stuck in a conversation (which was more of an extensive brag-show) with the hostess. Shang Qinghua tried to hype himself up to talk to an attractive senior, which just ended up with him walking past the man in question twice while looking the other way (he was not very good at flirting apparently). After that he just gave up and slouched down beside his friend.
“I've had sex with another man twice through a hookup-app and it was the most disappointing shit ever,” he complained. “But this is somehow more of a disaster. Apparently I can’t even talk to men I would like to fuck. And I don’t even like men, I’m just attracted to them.”
“At least you've gotten laid,” Shen Yuan muttered. Not at all being sympathetic.
Shang Qinghua wasn’t exactly drunk, but after two beers he was starting to feel a bit fuzzy. Eyes half-lidded while swaying slowly to the music. Shen Yuan seemed equally dazed, absentmindedly sipping his beer. Fuck, they were boring party-goers!
“So? Is it better to have bad sex than being a virgin?” Shang Qinghua said. It kinda was though, but for the sake of arguing…
It took a moment for the words to reach Shen Yuan’s brain. Another moment for the brain to produce an answer. It was like watching a really dumb kid assembling a 4-piece puzzle.
“Of course it is!” He sounded surprisingly confident and of course Shang Qinghua had to mess with him a bit.
“If it’s gonna be bad either way, would you've sex with a man? If that was your only chance at losing your virginity?”
Shen Yuan was silent for a while. Probably processing how dumb of a question that was.
“Maybe.”
Well, that was not the answer he was expecting… or, well. Not now, but maybe in a few years. Shang Qinghua just stared at him. What? Did? He? Say? Before he manage to come up with something to say Shen Yuan interrupted his thoughts:
“Why do you study a double degree? You're always complaining about it anyways.”
This conversation was in no way predictable. Please Shen Yuan! Spare this poor drunk author, I can’t keep up!!
The question reminded him of the last phone call he had with his parents: how they bragged about how his cousin was now a doctor, how his brother got a raise as a lawyer and how they just got a new car. Never even one question about how he was feeling, what he did, his interests. Just a passing comment asking about his grades. “Well my parents didn’t want to pay for a ‘pointless’ degree, so to attend uni that was my best solution at the time. But it sucks, it really does.” It still stung a bit, his parents had never really believed in him.
___
Shen Yuan was not prepared for the sincere answer so a dumb little “Oh” was the only thing he managed to mumble. It was easy to forget sometimes how comfortable he was. Even though his family may be too overbearing sometimes, they never questioned his education or pressured him away from his interests. Suddenly he was thankful for that. Maybe he was a little bit spoiled after all.
___
If this was gonna be one of those heart to heart moments, Shang Qinghua had to ask something that had been at the back of his mind for some time now. It was a bridge he never felt comfortable crossing before.
“Why are your family so weirdly protective of you? You're a grown ass man.” He added the last part to lighten the mood somewhat after Shen Yuan’s expression seemed to sour.
Every time he had been at Shen Yuan’s place, which was almost everyday at this point, some family member always called to check up on him, just like clockwork. Mostly the scary twin. The fact that freshly cooked food was also delivered everyday, along with cleaning services at least twice a week, was extensive even for a rich boy. “Allergies”-something, but it appeared to be the tip of an iceberg.
“I was very sick as a child and teen…” Shen Yuan broke the silence, hands fiddled with the empty bottle while plainly avoiding eye contact. “... I almost died, many times.” And even though his lips curled into a strained smile, his eyes looked mournful. “I never really had a childhood outside of the hospital.”
Oh. That was SERIOUS serious. That was also way more emotional than Shang Qinghua could progress in a drunk state. Maybe not even sober. Emotions were for putting in the back of his mind until he had a giant melt down and then he just repeated said circle. His friend dying? Friend? Damn.
“Oh,” he just mumbled. Probably a response Shen Yuan was used to. Said friend looked at him awkwardly before uttering:
“So that is the sad story of how I got addicted to shit-novels like yours,” in an attempt to ease the tension. It did not work.
The silence had stretched on for an unusual amount of time. Shang Qinghua could feel a strain in the back of his throat. Not good.
“Should we just fuck instead?” he managed to say. Coming out more stiff than “jokingly cool”-ish like intended.
“...”
More silence. Great.
“Okay.”
Well, that was not what he had prepared for.
“Wait for real?”
___
And here they were, mostly sobered up and trying to figure out how this would work. Shen Yuan was astounded when Shang Qinghua had admitted to having already prepared himself, which he would've made a slut-shaming comment (or called him a degenerate) about if it wasn’t so convenient for their current predicament. So it was just to… put it in? Right?
Shen Yuan didn’t really know why he said yes. Like yeah he should've just beaten Shang Qinghua for even suggesting this, but a small part of him was curious. Very small, but enough to say yes apparently. Maybe it was just him being virgin and his body needing relief. Shang Qinghua wasn’t exactly drama-male-lead-material, but he had that kind of face that was considered “cute” to some people and his butt was -not that Shen Yuan was actively looking- round and thick enough to compete with many girls’. “A hole is a hole”, or whatever his obnoxious classmate in 12th grade said loudly for whatever reason. He had heard of straight men having sex with gay men, just for the pleasure of it. So it couldn't be that different? Could it?
He was just going to do it one time, to see what’s up.
They left the party right after that. Called for a cab while talking about some new TV-show they liked to argue about. Still acting like they were just about to go watch a movie or something, Shang Qinghua followed Shen Yuan into his room. The air thick with tension and unsaid questions.
___
Shang Qinghua decided to take charge this time. It didn't come naturally for him, but who else was going to. The virgin? No. “You, remove your pants and lay there and wait,” Shang Qinghua ordered as he started to remove his own clothes. Shen Yuan for once was not arguing, just quietly obeying. That was rare. What was also rare was the size of that dick. Even in a soft state it looked heavy! Apparently his friend was hung. Damn . Shang Qinghua was average, he knew that, but he still cursed his ancestor for not giving him a big dick. Instead he got bad knees and the addict gene.
Shen Yuan was far from hard. Well, that was a problem in a few minutes. Also, it was not Shang Qinghua’s responsibility in this… situation. Right now his goal was to look for his backpack among the mess they made from removing their clothes. Butt-naked, he reached down to rummage under his jacket, finding a small bottle of lube and a few condoms in the outer pocket of the bag hiding underneath. He threw the condoms towards the bed without looking.
It was when he turned around he realised Shen Yuan’s dick had grown significantly, actually starting to look a bit intimidating, long and thick and definitely bigger than the dildo he used earlier that day. Shen Yuan avoided his gaze, looking a bit embarrassed. But… How did it get hard? It was not like he heard him jerk off. And it had been barely a minute.
“Wait, did you just get turned on by my ass?” he asked, jokingly.
There was an uncomfortable, but very telling, silence.
“It’s your most redeemable feature,” Shen Yuan responded eventually. “Your ass, that is.”
Shang Qinghua didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. It was almost a compliment, which was rare. He would take it.
“Thanks Bro?”
Shang Qinghua popped the cap open, coated two of his fingers and prodded at his own entrance while leaning slightly forwards. Two fingers easily went inside and soon enough three. Shen Yuan started to fiddle with the condoms, not looking his way, while the slick sounds filled the otherwise silent room. After he decided he was loose enough, he sat down at the end of the bed, a bit unsure on what to do next.
“Do we really need condoms?” Shen Yuan asked.
Shang Qinghua stilled, surprised by the question. Technically, he had been so paranoid since his last hook-up that he tested himself twice and Shen Yuan was a virgin, so it shouldn't be an issue. “We can skip that.”
He climbed onto Shen Yuan's narrow hip. The man under him shuddered slightly when his thigh brushed against his cock. It was still hard. Shang Qinghua took it into his hands, rearranging himself slightly so it would be easier to line himself up. Meanwhile Shen Yuan seemed unsure what to do with his hands, stiffly grabbing onto the sheets. Chest and neck flushed. Lips parted as he panted softly while Shang Qinghua stroked him slowly with the remaining lube on his hand.
“You still want it?” he asked. Movements had come to a halt, only anticipation remained.
Shen Yuan blinked, almost looking confused. Then he nodded with a determined look on his face, which quickly shifted into aroused as Shang Qinghua slowly started to sink down on his cock. The stretch was intense, but not unbearable. He shifted forward and couldn’t help but moan when he could feel it against his prostate. Wholly sheathed inside of him, he had never felt that full before and he let himself be loud as he slowly started to build up a pace. Rolling his hips, he could feel a heat build up in his lower belly, stirring.
Shang Qinghua let out an indignant squeak when he felt a hand grab onto his ass, not at all gently, pushing him down as Shen Yuan thrusted upwards. They both panted and the pace quickened. At this point Shang Qinghua was painfully hard, stroking himself as he fucked himself on the thick cock. As much as he enjoyed how deep it reached in this position, his legs were almost shaking from exhaustion and Shen Yuan didn’t look like he was even close to coming.
“Lets change position.” Shang Qinghua didn’t wait for an answer as he clumsily crawled off him. The cock slipped out with a wet sound and left him feeling uncomfortably empty. Well, not for much longer. He rested his chest and elbows onto the mattress while his back arched up, way too turned on to care about the embarrassing pose. Shen Yuan seemed to get the memo, considering how he heard shuffling behind him.
With no warning, Shen Yuan fully shoved himself back again, pushing a few undignified whines out of Shang Qinghua. His knuckles almost turned white from how hard he grabbed onto the sheets. The position enabled that sensitive spot inside of him to be tortured with almost every thrust. It was too much, in the best possible way. “There… yes…” he mumbled, voice weak and muffled by the pillows. Weakly he reached back for his own dick, barely touching it before coming hard into his hand. The aftershocks made his whole body spasm and tighten around the intrusion, which drawed out a few soft moans out of Shen Yuan. Not long after, the pace got erratic and soon he could feel Shen Yuan’s cock twitch deep within before painting his insides white.
Neither of them had the energy to move after separating from each other. Instead they both fell asleep almost directly, still sweaty and sticky with cum. A problem for the next day.
___
Surprisingly, it was Shen Yuan who insisted they did it again. And although surprised, Shang Qinghua agreed. He was easy like that.
Shen Yuan had good stamina as in “doesn’t cum after 2 minutes”. Unfortunately for him though, he did'nt have enough physical stamina to keep up with his own sexual needs. It was embarrassing, and it didn’t help that Shang Qinghua had the same problem. It shouldn't be a surprise though, considering how they were both shut-ins enabling each other's shut-in behaviour.
After two more “occasions” they were both painfully aware of how out of shape they were. Both out of breath and red just from exhaustion were they constantly switched positions so Shang Qinghua rode him when Shen Yuan started to look like he would pass out. It was very embarrassing. Naturally, they started running together (on two treadmills, while watching TV). Shen Yuan had made an excuse about how his brother wanted to get rid of an old treadmill, but it was obvious they were both new and Shang Qinghua would not comment on it. Free was free.
Or was it? Wait, did he just whore himself out for a treadmill?!
___
Since that party it had now been a month, a month they had spent at least twice a week fucking. It was what they could manage, considering schoolwork and Shang Qinghua’s never ending PIDW-writing. Despite how busy he was, he had noticed how Shen Yuan had been getting gloomier the past few days, barely even listening when Shang Qinghua was describing the outline for a new chapter (normally he would listen attentively, before going on an extensive monologue that Shang Qinghua hardly listened to). He even almost forgot his favourite show that aired the night before and if Shang Qinghua hadn’t yelled at him he probably would have missed it. Looking almost disoriented as he slumped into the sofa.
Shang Qinghua was not gonna be the one to ask. If Shen Yuan was sick again, it was his family's problem to fix. If it was something else, it still wasn’t Shang Qinghua’s problem either. If he wanted to tell him, that was fine. But he was not the one to start an emotional deep-talk about feelings or whatnot, not when he could spend his precious free-time drinking energy drinks and watching shows or even play a few video games. So he left the brooding Cucumber alone.
___
It didn’t take too long before Shen Yuan was ready to tell whatever had been bugging him. At this point Shang Qinghua was tired of the awkward mood that had been going on the past week. If he wanted to experience strained conversations, he could just take the train back to his parents place.
“I think I’m not straight.”
Shang Qinghua was actually surprised, partly because he said it so randomly, but more so because he sort of thought Shen Yuan already came out weeks ago when he wanted to fuck a second time.
“Congrats?”
Shen Yuan looked distracted. Mind somewhere else, only responding with a low hum. Shang Qinghua on the other hand was feeling sort of uncomfortable.
“Bro!” Shang Qinghua panted. “I would LOVE to have this conversation, but could you please at least pull out of me first?!”
The loud voice startled Shen Yuan, who looked at him with a confused expression, like he had forgotten he just shoved his cock inside of him moments ago. Apparently that skinny body could only supply blood to either the brain or the dick, because only one thing was working at this moment, and it was not the brain. “I wanna come first,” Shen Yuan muttered before he started to move that stupidly big dick inside of him again, making Shang Qinghua jolt. “We can talk later”, was left unsaid.
Less than 20 minutes later, Shen Yuan’s thin fingers dug deep into Shang Qinghua’s thigh as he came inside of him. Leaving new red marks where previous traces had paled.
Nowadays they didn’t immediately pass out after one round of sex, but they were both panting as they laid beside each other on Shen Yuan’s wide bed. Because of they talked about earlier, Shang Qinghua said the only thing he could come up with:
“Should we just get drunk?”
He was not about to deal with a newly out Shen Yuan sober.
___
“How did you finally figure it out Bro?” Shang Qinghua was actually starting to get drunk. “Well except for how you were jabbing that cucumber of yours inside of me almost every day you absolute dumbfuck.” He had complained that his bottom was sore, so now he laid on his stomach on the couch, leisurely enjoying his third beer.
Shen Yuan was kind of embarrassed. In hindsight, there were many signs. Like how he almost exclusively read novels and watched shows with jacked pretty men. Or how he had never really liked a girl. He had just assumed it was because he never really met a lot of girls his age at the hospital, since he rarely was healthy enough to attend an ordinary school back then. Straight was like the default mode so he just sort of concluded he was that. To be fair, not being close to terminally ill as a kid was also default, but that's besides the point. And also that part about him fucking Shang Qinghua. That was not the most hetero thing he had done.
But how he actually figured it out, he was not proud of.
“Is it because of that drama we watched with Chen Kun playing the lead… what was it called now?” Shen Yuan started to blush upon hearing that. “Wait for real? I was right?” Shang Qinghua almost screamed, looking way too smug. He had a very slappable face. Generally slappable personality, really.
“How did you know?” he muttered, ignoring his friend's self-satisfied laugh.
“Maybe the fucking posters you ordered? Was it yesterday? Or how you wanted to fuck directly after the past episodes? You're not subtle, Cucumber Bro.”
Shen Yuan threw a pillow at him, not planning on acknowledging that there were some fair points he made. Unfortunately he was too drunk to walk over and slap him without risking falling over the glass table and subsequently breaking it.
Shen Yuan was flustered, not really angry. Having someone accepting him like that was nice. His poor parents had a hard time when Shen Jiu came out and he wondered how they would react to him doing that as well. Not that he planned on doing that in the nearby future.
“Thank you,” he almost whispered, to some extent hoping Shang Qinghua wouldn't hear him, but the latter just waved his hand dismissively.
___
Shen Yuan had started to become more demanding after realising that Shang Qinghua would rarely say no to sex due to him always being at least a little bit horny. It was like his default setting.
When Shen Yuan switched from saying “Bro” to “Qinghua”, it was a clear sign he wanted to bang. To his credit, saying “Bro” was a bit of a turn-off during papapa, even though it slipped out from time to time anyway. Apart from demanding more sex now that their stamina had improved significantly, he was getting more demanding in bed as well. The change came gradually, from small orders about changing their position to a hand on his neck pressing him down into the mattress as he was pounded from behind. Shen Yuan had also started to bite, which wasn’t a problem if it wasn’t for the fact that Shang Qinghua started to run out of turtlenecks to wear to university. He often had marks on his buttcheeks and hips from Shen Yuan grabbing onto him, not bruised, but it still stinged. Shang Qinghua didn’t mind. He wouldn’t even mind it rougher.
“I think you're way kinkier than you think ,” Shang Qinghua noted one after a particularly satisfying round of sex, during which Shen Yuan’s hands had been on his throat the majority of the act.
The scandalised look that sentence earned made him mourn he didn’t have a camera ready.
“I am not!” Shen Yuan responded, sounding as offended as one would be if someone had just insulted all of their ancestors and (imaginary) pets.
“You're a devoted PIDW-reader, of course you're kinky. Also, I'll say stop if I don’t want to do something.”
“I read it for the plot!”
Unbeknownst to Shang Qinghua, that sentence had sparked something in Shen Yuan. He had created a monster.
___
PIDW was overflowing with wife-plots, so he had had to be creative with the sex to not make it too repetitive. Which was just him writing smut while so caffeinated he was almost in a otherworldly state of mind, barely remembering his own name. He had gotten quite a few complaints about it being unrealistic, or even fans trying stuff and hurting themselves. On one occasion someone even ended up in hospital (that was on them though, Shang Qinghua was not responsible for peoples stupidity, at least now he knew it was possible to actually break a penis). But apart from the more extreme stuff that happened, a lot of it was things he himself was into, allegedly.
A few days later, they ended up in bed again. Shen Yuan did by now know where to aim to hit the prostate, which he hadn’t done the past 10 minutes. The reason was because of a previous argument that had been going on almost all day since the latest PIDW-chapter had been released. Shen Yuan had refused to talk to Shang Qinghua and the latter was too stubborn to cave in. Half an hour earlier another fight had ensued, somehow ending up in hate sex.
“I will not unkill Gongyi Xiao!” Shang Qinghua shouted for probably the tenth time this evening.
“Then, I'm not gonna let you come, you dumbfuck author!” Shen Yuan’s voice raised slightly as he thrusted in hard, still avoiding that spot like the bastard he was. It was almost impressive considering how big he was.
“It’s not like I need your help anyways,” Shang Qinghua muttered as he attempted to reach back for his neglected cock. His hand was rudely slapped away, the pressure inside of him building up with no way to release. It was torture.
“No.”
A heavy-handed slap landed on Shang Qinghua’s ass and suddenly his mind was somewhere else. Another slap hit and he felt grounded, his otherwise turbulent mind ceased momentarily, body going lax. He felt relaxed for once. Not even his prescribed ADHD-medication made him this calm.
He was rudely brought back by a thrust hitting his prostate, likely by accident, making his whole body chudder. He was horrified when he realise head been crying, sheets and hair wet from tears. Hopefully it wasn’t visible from the back.
Shang Qinghua still wanted more.
“Do it again,” he asked, voice coming out weaker than he intended.
Shen Yuan stilled his movements briefly before speeding up again. Shang Qinghua was rewarded with more slaps, painting his thigh and ass red. This time it would bruise. It made him tighten up around the intrusion and Shen Yuan moaned softly. They both came soon after.
“That was ok,” Shang Qinghua mumbled, exhausted.
“You even cried.”
Okay so he did not get away with that.
“I’m still not gonna unkill Gongyi Xiao.”
“I hate you.”
___
Three months marked the first time they managed two rounds for the first time. At this point Shang Qinghua had moved into the spare bedroom: there was no point these days in going home except for grabbing some change of clothes anyways. As a typical student, he spent most of his waking hours either with his friends (Shen Yuan’s place) or at the university. Paying for an empty apartment was simply something he wouldn't do, so moving in felt like the next natural step. It took a week for Shen Yuan to realise he had moved into his apartment, but when he finally did, his anger was so half-hearted it wasn’t even believable. Barely a complaint. It didn’t make that much of a difference.
They had recently started a new show together, some period-piece Shen Yuan was a little bit too invested in. It would start in around 15 minutes. Shang Qinghua was restless. His favourite actor had just posted a shirtless picture to his socials and Shang Qinghua almost choked on his food when it showed up on his feed and now he had sported a half-hard-on the past 30 minutes. It was about to be everyone's (Shen Yuan’s) problem.
“I am horny,” he complained. It was very much ignored by his friend, who had busied himself with snack- and soda-acquisition in the kitchen. Upon arriving with the overfilled tray containing everything Shen Yuan’s family would forbid, he sat down beside Shang Qinghua, finally acknowledging his existence.
“I'll not continue once the show starts,” Shen Yuan eventually answers, giving him a pointed stare. “But go on,” he gestured towards his lower half, as if Shang Qinghua was going to do everything himself. He was going to! But still!
With barely 5 minutes to spare, he pushed down onto Shen Yuan’s cock, finally getting a bit closer to the much needed relief he had craved for so agonisingly long (40 minutes). Back against Shen Yuan’s chest, the position perfect for hitting that spot that made him see stars. Getting it hard had been a headache, Shang Qinghua had even used his mouth, which was not as traumatising as he had thought it would be. Almost okay. But just as he was starting to build up a pace, feeling that familiar heat intensifying as he moaned softly, Shen Yuan grabbed onto his hips, forcing him to stop entirely.
“Shut it, the show is starting!” he said with a tone that didn’t leave room for argumentation. Shang Qinghua still tried anyway.
“But it was just about to be good–...”
“I am not going to miss this after last week's cliffhanger!” Shen Yuan interrupted as the recognizable intro song started to play. “You can either get off of me and jerk off somewhere else or stay still until it’s over.”
Shang Qinghua was too stubborn to give up, so he stayed. Cock softing somewhat inside of him, but not completely. Sometimes twitching, but never moving. It was torture.
Everytime he even tried to shift, sharp nails dug deep into his hips, a warning, and Shang Qinghua could almost feel the annoyed expression on his back. That show wasn’t even that good! Too much bureaucracy, too little action and papapa! In a small protest, Shang Qinghua chewed the snacks he managed to reach obnoxiously loud, hoping it disturbed at least a little bit. He was blatantly ignored.
Shen Yuan didn’t lose the death-grip on his hips until the second the end credits rolled in. At this point Shang Qinghua was restless, at his limit, his dick aching painfully. He was roughly shoved off Shen Yuan’s lap, tumbling to the side onto the sofa. He yelped when the cock slipped out of him. Leaving him feeling empty.
“But-…”
“Bro, you're too heavy. On your knees, now.”
Shen Yuan was too spoiled, although meek, he expected to get his way. Probably unconsciously. Shang Qinghua didn’t feel like protesting, rearranging himself obediently.
Shen Yuan stroked himself a few times before pushing inside, the wet sound of his thrust mixing with the outro-song playing from the TV. Shang Qinghua was loose from almost an hour of being stuffed, weakly clenching down on Shen Yuan's cock as he was slowly approaching completion. Shen Yuan's hands wandered from grabbing onto his hips, higher, nails scraping at his skin as they grazed his ribs, before violently tugging at his nipples, making Shang Qinghua whimper as his whole body shuddered, shaking, as he came hard onto the sofa. Painting the expensive material white.
“Did you just come from getting your tits touched?” Shen Yuan mused as he slowed down, sounding way too pleased with himself.
“It was-...” Shang Qinghua’s explanation died in his throat as Shen Yuan thrusted into him particularly hard. It was probably intentional to shut him up, but he didn't have the energy to be mad about it.
He was no longer able to keep himself up anymore, just slouching down into his own spend as Shen Yuan kept rocking into his pliant body, panting softly behind him. When Shen Yuan finally reached his limit, filling up his soft insides, Shang Qinghua had managed to touch himself and reach completion a second time. So out of it he was twitching like a dying fish, he barely noticed when Shen Yuan slipped out and turned off the TV.
Shen Yuan glanced at the mess they had made, an arm under Shang Qinghua’s shoulder to keep him steady on their way to the bathroom.
“This is going to be a nightmare to clean up.”
“Did you know all of this?” Binghe’s accusing glare turned to Mobei Jun, who still hadn’t said anything.
“I know he is a slu-… had others before me, yes,” he just answered.
Everyone’s eyes turned to the slut in question, whose face went through multiple shades of white, purple, pink and red. Face buried into his hands, he cursed his ancestors, gods and that one hot neighbour that made him realise he was gay as a kid.
“It’s only because Airplane wanted to do it all the time that we continued for so long,'' said Shen Yuan.
Shang Qinghua was astounded. The audacity! The nerve!
“Since when did you become such a liar? Did your boyfriend teach you?” Shang Qinghua snapped back with. Did it make the situation better? Absolutely not. Did it make him shut up? Yes. “I took a break in whatever we were doing because I dated someone else. You know who was mad about it? Not me.”
Luo Binghe turned his accusing stare to his boyfriend, who was feeling awfully guilty.
“Is that true?” His big dark eyes started to tear up again, looking more like a puppy than the tall monster he was.
Shen Yuan wanted to disappear, preferably from this planet.
A year into their arrangement Shang Qinghua started to date a guy he found on a dating app, leaving Shen Yuan to fend for himself dick-wise. There was only that much you could do on your own, Shen Yuan soon realised.
“... and I even get to top sometimes!” Shang Qinghua was in a good mood. Shen Yuan was not. Going from virgin to having a hole at his disposal to having nothing again had made him cranky. That traitor.
“Can you even satisfy him with that tiny dick of yours?” Shen Yuan snapped back, getting rewarded with a weak smack across the back of his head.
“It’s perfectly average!” Shang Qinghua said, face reddening. Possibly his worst comeback to this date, Shen Yuan noted.
Shen Yuan had for the first time in his life felt like the single man he was, it was not like he and Shang Qinghua had actually been dating and it wasn’t like he actually liked Shang Qinghua in any shape or form, but they had that sort of friends-with-benefit-dynamic that used to never make him feel truly lonely. Being in close proximity to a couple however, now that he hadn’t much to do except for consuming trash-shows and novels outside of school work, was humbling. He really only had one friend and that one friend was getting cringier by the day. The alternative was having his family as company, and that was not going to happen.
“Aw honey! You didn’t have to!” Shang Qinghua chirped into his phone, making Shen Yuan internally throw up. He was acting suspiciously like he was overcompensating, but Shen Yuan didn’t want to assume. Maybe all couples were like that? Shen Yuan’s experience with relationships was limited to fiction, his parents and his secretive twin’s complicated relationship with his ex/not ex/whatever was going on with that Qi-ge-guy.
As soon as the call ended, Shang Qinghua’s expression changed slightly. Sighing.
___
Much like Shang Qinghua’s attention span, his relationship didn't last very long. Somewhere along the way he realised the difference between liking the attention as opposed to liking the person and suddenly he wasn’t too keen on continuing the relationship anymore. He broke up over the phone, like the coward he was, on his way home from the university barely a few days before they would have celebrated two months together.
___
“We ended it,” Shang Qinghua said as soon as he entered the apartment. “I’m gonna die single.”
Shen Yuan sat on the couch, mood instantly brightening upon hearing the news.
“Do you wanna have sex?” Shen Yuan asked, too pent up to care about how the short, but still too long, relationship ended.
“Whatever,” Shang Qinghua said, resigned, but he still instantly started to undress in the hallway.
“I am curious…”
“What?” Shang Qinghua answered as they made their way into Shen Yuan's bedroom, the one with the biggest bed. Shang Qinghua butt naked, unlike his fully dressed roommate.
Shan Yuan hadn’t really finished the thought in his head yet, so he just dismissively mumbled: “Let’s talk about it later”.
After Shen Yuan had finally finished inside of Shang Qinghua and rested for a solid twenty minutes (of which the last ten had been a mostly one sided conversation about PIDW and how it was still technically in the tentacle-porn genre even though vines was used instead, with the author sometimes grunting something unintelligible in response) he asked:
“Can you do a second round?”
Shang Qinghua, who was still on his stomach, not having moved since orgasming, eyes half lidded, gave him a dazed look.
“Give me like…” he mumbled. “Five minutes.”
“I want to try bottoming,” Shen Yuan said, face heating up.
Suddenly Shang Qinghua was wide awake, only wincing a little bit as he sat up.
“For real?! I thought I would never get to top your skinny ass. Bro I’m touched!”
“If you keep going, I might change my mind.”
Shang Qinghua shut up, willingly.
Shen Yuan had insisted on fingering himself open, something he had learned how to do a long time ago after a few times when Shang Qinghua had been willing, but too lazy to prepare himself, and Shen Yuan had been horny enough to make the effort.
“You don’t have to do it like it’s a job, Bro,” Shang Qinghua complained.
”It’s uncomfortable,” he said accusingly, but kept going nonetheless, having already moved on from two to three fingers.
Shang Qinghua truly felt like he had won something when he finally got to sink into Shen Yuan’s tight heat, the latter one on his back with his legs on either side of Shang Qinghua’s thighs. He settled fully inside of him and waited for him to adjust.
Eyebrows raised, Shen Yuan looked at him with a confused expression.
“Was that all?”
“What do you mean ‘was that all’?!”
“I just thought it would be… more.”
Shang Qinghua just stared at him in disbelief.
Pride? Shattered. Heart? Broken. Boner? Killed.
So what had actually happened 15 minutes ago?
Shen Yuan had forgotten to close the door.
Shang Qinghua had started the conversation that revealed everything.
They both blamed each other.
It went something like this:
Shang Qinghua had gone to his room to get a new t-shirt after he spilled out his beer all over himself and Shen Yuan had followed to continue their conversation from earlier about Shang Qinghua’s new web novel “The Conquests of the Ice King” that had entered a new arc. It had gained some popularity, not like PIDW, but enough. Shang Qinghua wasn’t that desperate for money now that he had another job, so he could write more what he wanted than what the fans requested.
“It’s so obviously a self-insert it’s almost painful, Airplane,” Shen Yuan had scoffed. It was true, but whatever. What was he going to do about it? Not read it? With Shen Yuan’s personality, he would keep complaining about the media he willingly consumed to his last dying breath.
“At least I don’t pay money to read someone else’s self insert,” Shang Qinghua smiled, determined to not let himself be agitated.
“At least I’m not a sub,” Shen Yuan muttered.
So they were playing that game, huh?
“At least I didn’t realise I was gay after fucking like 10 times, at least”, Shang Qinghua quipped back with. “That was embarrassing, Cucumber Bro.”
Shen Yuan huffed.
“At least I don’t get off from getting my ass beat, pervert.”
“Says the one with a breeding kink!”
Shen Yuan blushed, before quickly regaining his composure, suddenly looking mean.
“Do you still have a royalty kink?” Now he grinned. That bastard. Shang Qinghua hated him. He had accidentally let it slip once, and now it would follow him to his grave.
“I’m gonna fucking kill you.”
“Not if I kill you first.”
A rude laugh interrupted their bickering.
That's when they realised the door was opened. That same door Shang Qinghua was so sure he had closed minutes ago. That same door that led out to the living room and consequently their boyfriend’s ears.
Shen Yuan, like the traitor he is, pushed Shang Qinghua before him as they entered the living room.
“That's quite the reveal”, Sha Hualing chirped. Very helpful. Thank you .
Shang Qinghua just wanted to go home and jerk off to the thought of taking his own life.
___
Snitches get stitches? No. Instead snitches get to hear their own preferences in bed getting disclosed as if Shang Qinghua was reciting a mildly interesting shopping-list in front of his wide-eyed, but attentive, boyfriend. Luo Binghe’s expression was constantly shifting between murderous and immersed, like he couldn't decide if he wanted to commit first-degree manslaughter or attend a Sex-with-Shen-Yuan class by Shang Qinghua. Which was probably close to what actually went through his head. Shen Yuan had gotten better at reading his boyfriend.
“- and he is never gonna admit it, but it’s pretty clear he is really into choking. Especially when he is the one doing it.”
“I only choked you so you would shut up!” Shen Yuan snapped back. But he already knew that Shang Qinghua knew that was a lie.
___
“He knows so much about you!” said Luo Binghe, expression miserable. “You took all my firsts. But you gave it all to that rat!?”
So much for getting a “thank you” for all the tips.
“You were my first kiss.” Shen Yuan blushed upon admitting it, looking everywhere except at his boyfriend. The latter was in awe, eyes big and watery, but instantly brightening up.
“A-Yuan,” he whispered, voice laced with adoration.
A disgusting couple, truly.
Mobei Jun looked expectantly at him after hearing the other couple’s confession, which made Shang Qinghua’s brain conveniently blank. He curled up onto Mobei Jun’s lap, when he suddenly thought of something. “You were the first one to tie me up.” Shang Qinghua paused, face heating up. “You're also my first love”. Upon hearing that, Mobei Jun planted an affectionate kiss onto his nose and his big hand latched onto Shang Qinghua’s smaller ones. Drawing him into his embrace, he could feel his warm breath caress his ear.
“You've a royalty kink?” Mobei Jun whispered. There was a smile in those words, teasing him. Shang Qinghua was suddenly horny.
Sha Hualing interrupted their sweet moment with a question they both dreaded.
“So how long did you fuck for?”
After finishing university Shen Yuan’s family set up a small publishing company for their youngest son, making Shen Yuan do what he liked to do most: Read bad (sometimes good) stories and write over the top-detailed critiques about them, subsequently deciding their destiny. Shang Qinghua got hired soon after. They did do an interview, but it was not overly committed to being professional, mostly because Shen Yuan wouldn't stop fighting him over his decision to wrap up PIDW in a few chapters. A conversation not really suitable for a job interview.
“How are you going to solve all the plot holes? It’s impossible to do in that short amount of chapters!”
“I know, that’s why I’m not going to do it. Here is my resume. If you want it.”
“I'll fire you if you don’t fix the story!”
“You’ve got to hire me first.”
___
With a stable income Shang Qinghua finally had the money to find his own place that wasn’t a terrible hole in the wall. It was almost sort of nice. Shen Yuan hadn’t agreed on that, of course, but he was also born with a silver spoon in his mouth and therefore his opinions were as valuable for Shang Qinghua as PIDW’s protagonist's wife had been for the plot two chapters after they were introduced. Although Shang Qinghua didn’t have much left of his savings after paying the deposit, he finally started to feel like a real adult nonetheless so it was worth it in the end.
The company did well and a year after the establishment they had a few stable clients outside of publishing novels. It was around that time that they got in contact with the two tech-companies ‘Winter Desert inc.’ and ‘Tianlang corporation’, who had an ongoing partnership and planned to print out a shit-load of handbooks for their employees. It was there he met Mobei Jun- the literal embodiment of every sexual fantasy he had ever jerked off to. Tall, dark and handsome with a deep baritone voice that made Shang Qinghua tingle in places that definitely shouldn't tingle during a business meeting. The way his muscles strained against his dress shirt had made him so distracted that, more than once, Shen Yuan had had to kick him under the table to concentrate.
Mobei Jun had handled the initial negotiations and after every meeting, Shang Qinghua had consistently begged Shen Yuan to be bent over the table to get rid of all the pent up hornyness so he could actually work. A few times he had indulged him, but mostly he just got hit with whatever laid in close proximity to his boss. Rude!
Eventually their bosses had to meet and Shang Qinghua was surprised to see a young man entering Shen Yuan’s office at the appointed time and not the dilf CEO that coated the company's website. The young man was handsome: built like an athlete with wide shoulders and a narrow hip which stood in stark contrast to his soft curly hair and pretty face. Not really Shang Qinghua’s type, but definitely a solid 10. Hours later the young man had exited the office with a blissed out expression, seemingly unwilling to leave.
After that encounter the young man, Luo Binghe, returned almost every day to hang out with Shen Yuan and bring him food, the reason he was there in the first place seemingly forgotten. Shen Yuan couldn't stop praising Binghe’s good looks, almost sounding like he did before he realised he was gay. Old habits or something.
“Like even a straight man would consider him attractive”
“But you're not straight.”
Silence.
Since Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan were too busy courting, Mobei Jun and Shang Qinghua were left to do the heavy lifting and make the project come true. Being around Mobei Jun 24/7 made Shang Qinghua constantly horny and he was caught more than once staring at those biteable pecs that were unfortunately clothed but still visible enough to be distracting. He couldn't help it! If Mobei Jun didn't want people to look he shouldn't have worn such form-fitted shirts! So immodest!
___
“I think I like someone,” said Shen Yuan a few weeks later.
“WOW? You do? I didn’t know,” Shang Qinghua said. “Who could it possibly be?”
“We shouldn't have sex anymore,” Shen Yuan flatly responded.
“That’s true.”
“…”
“...”
“One last time though?”
“Yeah.”
Afterwards, they laid beside each other in bed in silence.
“This has been nice, sort of,” Shang Qinghua said, absolutely not making the situation awkward.
“Yeah”, Shen Yuan surprisingly agreed. “You've been like my comfort-hole.”
What?
“What?” Shang Qinghua yelled, appalled. “You know you can just call me a friend, Cucumber Bro?”
Shen Yuan grimached at that, but didn’t disagree.
___
Shang Qinghua had never been as scared for his own safety as the day Luo Binghe grabbed onto his arm and basically threw him into an empty storage room. Not too surprisingly, it was to interrogate him about Shen Yuan’s likes and dislikes during which Shang Qinghua had to mentally calculate how much he could tell without getting fired for real.
“Does he have a girlfriend?” Luo Binghe asked, face serious and intimidating. He would make a great villain, Shang Qinghua noted, only shaking a little bit.
“He's not that into… women,” he said, mentally asking Shen Yuan for forgiveness for outing him but also too tired of the obvious mutual pining to care.
“Does he have a boyfriend?”
“No,” said Shang Qinghua, tempted to say he did have a “comfort-hole” but deciding against it since he didn’t want to be murdered twice.
That ignited a spark in Luo Binghe, his dark eyes almost looked burning red from pure determination and resolve. Shang Qinghua wasn’t surprised when the courting intensified with more home-cooked food, but now combined with gifts and date suggestions of which Shen Yuan was painfully dense to the ulterior motive.
Months later it all culminated into Luo Binghe making the absolute worst love confession possible that was more of a public display of a train wreck than a romantic love moment in front of the whole staff, sobbing, pleading and probably traumatising the more introverted Shen Yuan for life. They ended up a couple though, and Shang Qinghua gave himself a little bit of credit for this. Not necessarily only for what he had told Luo Binghe.
___
You can only get away that many times with ogling someone's chest before there was a solid pattern. And he must have missed Mobei Jun catching him staring more than once.
“You know my eyes are up here right?”
Shang Qinghua froze and slowly looked up and was met with an amused half-smile. His neck heated up.
“No! I was just admiring your… shirt”
“Every shirt I've ever worn? Every day?”
“... Yes?”
Later that night they had fucked for the first time.
Apparently he hadn’t taken Shang Qinghua for dinner and coffee because they were colleagues and Shang Qinghua felt dumb when he realised much later it was dates all along, especially since he had (he still do) berated Shen Yuan for being so oblivious to Luo Binghe’s advances before. At the time he just couldn't get his hand wrapped around the fact that a 100/10 was interested in him, a couch-goblin and a solid 6,5 on a good day. Well, now he could grope that big chest that had haunted his dreams for months, even during working hours (although that earned him a raised eyebrow and sometimes a pinched butt)! It was heaven!
It took a lot of reassurance for Luo Binghe to calm down after finding out that the love of his love had his first time taken by a “dirty little rat man”, as he so eloquently called him. A lot of words for a man that would crawl like a dog the second Shen Yuan asked for it. If he did. Which he probably did sometimes, considering their displayed dynamic.
For once Shang Qinghua was pretty thankful that Mobei Jun wasn’t as wordy as Luo Binghe. A man of action. Truly. Very sexy! But he had that glint in his eyes and that special kind of frown that was reserved for when Shang Qinghua had done something bad that was a clear sign that 1: They were going to have a talk later and 2: He was going to be sore for a few days. Not a loss, really.
Sha Hualing smiled like it was her birthday, for once being quiet so she could hear all their secrets spill out, like how Shen Yuan used to do inside of Shang Qinghua. Liu Qingge had made multiple attempts to flee, but his unfortunate placing made it so that he either had to squeeze past Luo Binghe, a ticking bomb of tears and homicidal intentions, or walk past his sister and her girlfriend, the latter who stopped him with her very bendy leg.
Although it was probably about time that their carefully kept secret was out for reasons like honesty and stuff, something Shang Qinghua reluctantly worked on to improve, sometimes a well thought out lie was just the better option for everyone involved. But not anymore. Cat’s out of the bag. He must live with the knowledge that everyone knows he was topped by his own anti–fan. So humiliating!
“I think we need to go home Bro,” Shen Yuan said, vaguely gesturing towards his boyfriend's emotional state.
“Yeah,” Shang Qinghua responded, eager to leave this all behind him.
Thankfully, Liu Mingyan was tactful enough to drag her brother and unwilling girlfriend with her alongside the other couple.
Before closing the door, Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan locked eyes at each other, a silent agreement to never talk about this again.