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Myles groaned at he entered his room, unsuccessfully trying to stretch his back. He had foolishly volunteered to help reshingle the roof of one of the villagers, not realizing that he would end up doing almost all of the work while Robert yammered on and on about politics, the monarchy, immigration, and how the quality of butter wasn't like how it used to be. As such, Myles had a tremendous headache, his knees were swollen and sore, and his back felt like he was a ninety year old milkman.
He peeled off his vest and tossed it on the bed, moving to slump into his armchair by the fireplace. Oh, he was getting too old for this. Too old for biting his tongue against ornery people and too old to be going up and down ladders and too old to be trying to keep the whole village alive.
He wanted a drink.
And where was his dog?
"Hamish!" he yelled, closing his eyes and dropping his face into his hands.
A few moments later he heard the click clack of Hamish's claws on the floor, the thump of his toy on the ground as he rested his head on Myles' knee.
"Good boy. Here, I'll play with you."
Myles reached down to pick up the dog toy and froze. Because what was on the floor wasn't one of Hamish's dog toys. What was on the floor was pink, smooth, and very obviously not meant for his eyes.
It was a vibrator. It could only be Sophie's vibrator. Sophie's rabbit vibrator.
Myles swallowed, still bent over, hand stretched down, fingers hovering but not touching the object.
"Hamish?"
The dog barked, clearly pleased with himself for finding a new toy and wanting to play.
"Hamish, were you in Sophie's room?"
Hamish barked, happy to hear the name of his friend.
Myles took a slow, deep breath. Calm down. Be mature. It's just a vibrator. Nothing wrong with that. He picked it up, noticing that Hamish had left bite marks and slobber all over it.
"Oh, you stupid dog. What am I going to do with you?"
Myles stood, the vibrator held carefully in his hand as if it might detonate. He grabbed his vest from the bed and quickly wiped off the slobber. Examining it closer, the bite marks looked even worse. Hamish had obviously been chewing on it for a while. Some sections of the silicone were quite torn, and one bit at the end was completely missing.
Should he?
Before he could stop himself, he turned the vibrator on, the object thrumming faintly in his hands. His pants suddenly felt tight and he quickly turned it off.
He looked back at Hamish. The wretched dog was still standing there expectedly, his tail wagging. Myles swore under his breath. Could he just put it back? No, that wouldn't work. He didn't know where exactly Hamish had found it. Could he just ignore it? It's not like she would ask him about it.
Myles looked back at the object, trying hard not to imagine how it's graceful shape would be best utilized. Instead, he focused on logistics.
He couldn't do anything about the teeth marks. He could wash it. That would be a decent thing to do. Very hygienic. Did it need new batteries? It would be wrong to return it without batteries. What if Hamish had managed to turn it on this whole time?
He looked for the battery compartment. No, not batteries. USB chargeable. How convenient. He walked over to his dresser, rummaging in one of the drawers and pulling out a charge cable. He plugged it in to charge.
Yes. He could do this. Charge it, clean it, and then just be an adult and return it. Totally not a problem.
---
Sophie waved goodbye to Maisie and grinned as she entered the castle. Maisie had graciously offered to drive her back to the castle after their knitting, the wind having picked up rendering it too cold to walk or bike. Sophie headed up the stairs, her mind brimming with potential ideas for her book.
Once in her room, she shed her coat and scarf, dropping them on the bed. She grabbed a blanket and wrapped it over her shoulders before turning to start the fire. Just as she got it going, there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," she called, standing and turning. She grinned when Myles entered the room. She couldn't hide her delight; he had shed his usual vest and the result was very enticing. He looked around, obviously uncomfortable. Then she looked at his hands.
And her heart stopped.
Because there, in the hands of Myles Dunbar, the 12th Duke of Dunbar, was her very bright, very pink vibrator.
Her face flushed in embarrassment, and shock turned to anger. Was he in her room, going through her things? Myles looked almost frightened, and raised his free hand.
"No, no. It's Hamish. Stupid dog. He thought it was a dog toy."
Sophie took a few steps forward, her anger quickly turning into embarrassment. She held out her hand absently and he handed the vibrator to her, their fingers grazing.
"I'm sorry, he must have had it a while. There are a lot of bite marks, and he bit one of the. . ." He paused, taking a breath. "He but one of the clitoral stimulators right off."
Sophie's eyes widened and she stared at him, never once imagining that she would ever hear him say those words.
"I cleaned it and charged it, but I'm not sure it will be useable anymore."
Sophie's brain finally caught up with her.
"Thank you for returning it."
"Um, you're welcome. I, uh, I can get a replacement for you. I mean, you can order it from wherever and I can pay you back. Whatever is easier."
Sophie nodded, still stunned. "Thank you."
Myles stared at her, both of them unsure what to say.
"Well, then, I'll, um, I'll leave you to it." Myles stutters are he realizes what he has said. "Not like, leaving you to it right now. I mean, if you were going to, then by all means, it's your life. Go ahead. I'm not saying you can't. I'm just not saying you have to right now. Not that you need permission."
"Myles," she interrupted, suppressing a laugh.
"Aye?"
"It's all right. We're both adults."
"Of course."
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"I agree."
"So we're good? We're okay?"
"Aye. Absolutely."
They both nodded, nervous smiles, the silence once again awkward and heavy.
Sophie looked down, a smile on her face as she considers. "You, uh... I mean, you practiced saying that. Clitoral stimulation. You practiced that on the way up here, didn't you?"
"So many times," he agreed with a relieved breath. "You have no idea. I wanted to make sure I got it right."
Sophie's eyes widened and Myles backtracked again.
"Not that I have to do anything right! I mean, I meant I wanted to make sure to say it right, not do it right. I can do it right, actually. I mean, I've had no complaints in the past. But I know that's not what you meant."
"Myles?"
"Aye?"
"Do you want to kiss me?"
"Very much."
They both swoop forward and kiss, the movement forceful and desperate. Sophie drops the vibrator to the ground as Myles parts her lips with his tongue. She tugs on the back of his shirt, desperate to feel his skin.
Later, much later, she smiles against his chest.
"I don't think I'll need to order a replacement anytime soon."
"No?"
"No. You got it right."
The end.