Chapter Text
Emma sat by Killian's hospital bed, shaking slightly as she held his hand.
A million thoughts ran through her head but the main one that kept coming back to hit her was 'why?'
She just couldn't fathom why Hook would do this to himself. Or why nobody had noticed. It just didn't make any sense to her.
Why would anyone, let alone Hook, hurt themselves?
Why would the happy go lucky pirate try to kill himself?
Why hadn't he tried to talk to her or her parents when he started feeling like this?
Didn't he know that they cared about him?
That she cared about him?
Why didn't he tell them how he felt— why didn't he try to?
She got more and more worked up as she thought about it, until she was hit with a sudden realization that made her stomach drop; He probably had tried to tell them.
She recalled how reckless and self sacrificing he was. How he never seemed to care about his own safety in all the time she had known him
She remembered how nonchalant Killian was when she pointed out that he probably would die trying to fight Gold, and how Greg had described what he had seen the day he hit hook with his car:
'He didn't move at all. It was like he wanted to get hit.'
Emma felt sick as more and more red flags popped up in her memories.
He had never tried to hide how much he did not care about his life. Had never tried to hide that he had nothing to lose, nothing to live for. Hell, he practically fucking survived off of rum and rum alone. That alone should have come off as a red flag to her and everyone else but it hadn't.
And they had shunned him for two and half days before he had gone missing despite knowing that he literally had nobody else. They had taken away his only support system without realizing it and now he was in the hospital.
Fighting for the very life he had tried to take away. And if he died, it would be their fault and there would be nobody to blame them or mourn him. Oh God, what had they done?
Emma really hoped that he would survive this and that he would wake up soon so they could talk.
She didn't know what she would do if he didn't— and she had the oddest feeling that she wasn't the only one who felt that way.