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i. October 2007, Age 13
Bumi is hanging upside down off his bed, head just an inch above the floor, when the door swings open and Kya steps into his room.
“What are you doing?” She asks.
“What are you doing?”
Kya shrugs, closes the door behind her, and begins stalking around the room like she’s looking for something to steal. Actually, she probably is looking for something to steal.
She stops just out of Bumi’s line of sight and he can hear her pick something up, but he can’t turn his head far enough to see what it is.
“What are you doing?” He questions again. There’s a clicking sort of sound that’s familiar, but it takes a minute for Bumi to realize why.
“Hey!” he shouts, swinging himself upright, then around and off the bed in one fluid movement. “Is that my Rubik’s Cu--” He launches himself out of his bed, only to immediately step on a Hot Wheels car, which causes him to crash to the floor.
Kya cackles as he groans and slowly rolls over onto his back, finding his sister standing over him. Sure enough, she has the Rubik’s Cube that Bumi got as a gift from Uncle Sokka in her hands.
“Loser,” Kya sneers at him.
“Shut up,” Bumi grumbles, pushing himself up into a sitting position and rubbing his nose. “Are you just here to mess up my Rubik’s Cube?”
“I’m not going to mess it up,” Kya assures him. But the way she’s fiddling with it, like she’s going to teeter on the edge of messing it up by only making a couple moves she can undo, makes Bumi not believe her. Even if the messing it up is unintentional.
Kya bounces over to Bumi’s bed and sits down on it. “I just got off the phone with Izumi.”
“Okay?” Bumi isn’t entirely sure where this conversation is headed. Kya usually doesn’t recount all of her phone conversations with their cousin to him. Partially because they talk a lot and partially because ‘It’s girl talk, Bumi, you wouldn’t understand!’
He stands up, grabs a stress ball from his desk, and then sits next to Kya.
“You can’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you, okay?” Her voice takes on a deadly serious tone, though Bumi can’t imagine what they talked about that could warrant that. All Bumi ever hears from them when he passes by Kya’s bedroom while she’s on the phone is chatter about the people in their class at school and Drake & Josh .
“Okay,” Bumi repeats.
Kya twists the top layer of the Rubik’s Cube. “Welllll… maybe I shouldn’t tell you.”
“No, come on! You have to now!”
“I don’t have to.”
“Kya!”
She drops the Rubik’s Cube in her lap and puts her hands up in defense. “Fine, fine! I’ll tell you.” She looks around, like maybe someone is hiding somewhere in the room, and then lowers her voice. “Izumi has a crush.”
Bumi blinks. “Oh.” That’s it?
Kya smacks his arm. “This is a big deal!”
“Is it?”
“Yes!”
Bumi rubs his arm. “Okay. Well, who does she have a crush on?”
Kya crosses her arms and sticks her nose in the air. “You wouldn’t know him.”
Maybe Kya was right all those times she’s told Bumi he wouldn’t understand her and Izumi’s girl talk. Bumi doesn’t understand any of what seems to be happening right now. He feels like his sister is speaking in some secret code that he never learned.
“If I don’t know him, why would I care?” He asks carefully, sure that’s the wrong response but unsure what else to say.
“Um, because,” Kya answers like it should be obvious, “this is golden blackmail material. And because this is big! She’s the first one of the cousins to have an actual, legit, crush!”
Bumi tilts his head. Instinctively, he wants to prove Kya wrong - surely this isn’t the first time any of them have had a crush!
But… Bumi can’t argue against it. If Kya is saying this is the first crush, then she apparently hasn’t had one. Tenzin’s too easy to read for them to not know if he’s had a first big crush yet. It’s impossible to tell with Lin - though she’s not technically a cousin - but Bumi can’t imagine her having a crush on anyone. Su is only two, so that’s obviously a no-go.
And, of course, Bumi hasn’t had a crush yet.
(Should he have had a crush at this point?)
His mind recoils at the thought, and he feels like he needs to wash his hands to rid himself of it completely. Instead, he just fists his hands into the blankets on his bed and hopes the icky feeling that’s settled over him goes away.
“That is, unless you’ve had a crush you haven’t told me about.”
“No!” Bumi says too quickly, and only once it’s out of his mouth does he realize that the speed makes him sound guilty instead of grossed out by the entire concept of having a crush.
Kya’s eyes widen, and then her face fades into a mischievous smile. “You do! Who is it, who is it?”
“No one,” Bumi insists, though he knows it’s too late for Kya to believe him. “Besides,” he reasons, “if I did have a crush on someone, you wouldn’t know her.” If that’s reason enough for her to not provide the name of whoever Izumi has a crush on, then maybe it’ll be enough to get her to stop pestering Bumi about a crush that doesn’t exist.
Kya frowns, seeming to genuinely consider Bumi’s words. “You really don’t have a crush on anyone?”
He shakes his head. “No. I don’t think I want to have a crush on anyone.”
Kya leans back and looks up at the ceiling. “I get it. All the boys in my grade suck. I don’t want to have a crush on any of them either.” She picks the Rubik’s Cube back up and studies it. “I guess maybe I’ll change my mind in high school. Maybe there’s some tolerable guys who go to the other middle school.”
“You don’t even think the guy Izumi likes is tolerable?”
Kya hesitates. “He’s alright,” she finally says, “but I can’t have a crush on the same person Izumi does! And besides, I wouldn’t want to. He’s not my type.”
“Fair enough,” Bumi concedes. They sit in silence for several moments, with Bumi chewing his lip and squeezing the stress ball in his hands while Kya twists the Rubik’s Cube just enough to put Bumi on edge about her messing it up.
Finally, Bumi blurts out, “I don’t think I’m ever going to want to have a crush on anyone.”
Kya doesn’t look up. She just shrugs and says, “That’s fine. Dating is overrated anyways.”
ii. January 2010, Age 15
“Are you going to Winter Formal?”
Bumi stops humming and looks up from his homework, looking at Izumi. “What?”
“Winter Formal,” she repeats. “Are you going this year? Freshman can go, can’t they? I know I want to go next year.”
“Oh.” Bumi shrugs. “I don’t think so. I don’t have anyone to go with.” When he’d come over to his uncles’ house to do his homework while Kya works on a project for one of her classes, he had hoped Izumi would also be doing homework.
Apparently he didn’t get so lucky.
They’re both seated at the kitchen table, Bumi with his math textbook and notes from class spread out and Izumi with her pink Nintendo DS, which had previously been a few inches from her face, now sitting on the table as she stares intently at Bumi.
Izumi opens her mouth to say something, but before she can, Uncle Zuko walks over from the counter with two plates of apple slices. He sets one down in front of Bumi and the other in front of Izumi, then drops a kiss on the top of Izumi’s head. “I hope you aren’t bothering your cousin when he has work to do.”
“I’m not!”
When Bumi taps his ear, she turns to face Zuko and repeats herself so he can hear, since he isn’t wearing his hearing aid.
Bumi rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t sell her out. He doesn’t want Zuko to send her away so she isn’t distracting him. He works better with someone else at the table, and he’ll get distracted either way.
Zuko chuckles. “Whatever you say, duckling.” He brushes past her and picks a third plate up off the counter before making his way out of the kitchen, presumably to wherever Uncle Sokka is.
“You can go with friends,” Izumi argues once Zuko is gone. “Kya and I are going together next year. We already made plans.” She gasps. “You could come with us next year! Unless you have a girlfriend by that point.”
Bumi wrinkles his nose. “I don’t think that’ll happen. The girlfriend thing, I mean.” He picks up an apple slice and bites into it.
“So that’s not a no to going with Kya and I?”
Bumi shoves the rest of his apple slice into his mouth to give himself a second to think about his answer. He chews slowly, considering his options. He doesn’t want to agree just to get Izumi off his back, because he knows for a fact she’ll hold him to it. But if he doesn’t agree, she’s going to keep pestering him about it for the next year. And then she’ll be pestering him about going with her and Kya the next year, and then it’ll be about going to prom, and--
He swallows. “Dances aren’t really my thing.”
“Because you don’t have anyone to go with?” Izumi counters without missing a beat. “‘Cause I just solved that problem for you. You don’t need to go with a girlfriend. Kya and I will be more fun anyways.”
“I don’t like dressing up either,” Bumi points out. “I don’t want to wear an uncomfortable suit that costs way too much money to rent just so I can stand in the corner with you two until the one song you want to dance to comes on.”
“We wouldn’t spend the whole time standing in the corner!”
“Well I would.”
“Hmph.” Izumi picks up one of her apple slices and bites into it, and Bumi can see the gears turning in her mind as she chews, searching for a way to sway Bumi into going to Winter Formal next year. “Would you go if you had a girlfriend?”
Bumi’s first instinct is to say No, but that sounds mean, so he stops to consider it. If he had a girlfriend who really wanted to go to Winter Formal, would he go with her?
Probably, but the thought makes his stomach turn. Not necessarily the Winter Formal part. Mostly just the girlfriend part.
“Would you go if you had a boyfriend?” Izumi tries again, apparently taking Bumi’s silence as an answer in and of itself.
It’s not that Bumi’s never considered the possibility; it’s just that he doesn’t like the conclusion he always comes to. The options have always been: He wants a girlfriend, he wants a boyfriend, or he doesn’t have a preference.
But the reality is he doesn’t think he falls into any of those three categories. He doesn’t want a girlfriend, but he also doesn’t particularly want a boyfriend. He’s not very interested in having a significant other at all.
But maybe that will change with time. Maybe it’s because he’s fifteen and hasn’t found the right person yet. Maybe once he’s older, he’ll see the appeal.
“You know I’m not going to judge you if you’re gay,” Izumi tells Bumi, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Not only do I have two dads, but I’m pretty sure I’m bi.”
Bumi shakes his head. “It’s not that. It’s more just… I don’t see myself dating anyone .”
Izumi is quiet for a moment, and then she shrugs. “That’s cool. But it means you don’t have an argument against going to Winter Formal with Kya and I next year instead of a significant other.”
Bumi groans and puts his head on the table as Izumi cackles. He hears her stand up, walk over to the fridge, and open the door. “Do you want any strawberry lemonade?”
He turns his head so his cheek is against the table and he can look at Izumi. “It’s Simply Lemonade, right? The brand without red dye?”
Izumi nods as she pulls the bottle from the fridge and shows it to Bumi.
“Sure, I’ll take a cup. Unless your catch is that I have to agree to go to the dance with you, in which case, I’m good.”
Izumi just laughs.
iii. June 2013, Age 18
Bumi’s graduation party takes place in the backyard, because it’s cheaper than renting out a pavilion at some park and because that means it doesn’t matter that Kya is changing her outfit four different times in the fifteen minutes before the party is set to start.
“Does this look okay?”
“No,” Bumi says.
“Yeah,” Tenzin responds at the exact same time.
Kya huffs. “You guys are no help!” She spins around, her skirt catching the wind and spinning out as she does so. She stops when she’s face-to-face with Bumi and Tenzin again and crosses her arms. “I need to look good!”
“Why?” Bumi asks, even though he knows the answer.
The answer is that despite the fact that this is Bumi’s party, Kya invited the girl she’s been “talking to”, so she obviously has to look her best.
(Bumi… still doesn’t quite get it. If the girl likes Kya, why does it matter what Kya’s wearing? If they end up dating, surely they’re going to see each other makeup-less and wearing old t-shirts and sweatpants at some point?)
Kya flushes. “Just tell me if this shirt looks okay on me.” She looks down at her legs. “Actually. Maybe I should go put the jeans back on. My legs look weird today.”
“What does that mean?” Tenzin asks. He doesn’t get an answer, though, because Kya huffs again and marches back inside the house, brushing past their dad as he steps outside, carrying several bags of chips.
“What’s up with her?” He questions the two boys.
“She doesn’t know what to wear,” Bumi answers simply.
“Ah.”
Kya does manage to decide on an outfit before the party starts, though it’s only after she gets advice from Izumi, whose judgment she apparently trusts more than Bumi or Tenzin’s.
Bumi supposes he can’t really blame her for that.
The first guests to arrive (apart from Izumi, Sokka, and Zuko, who don’t really count because they came early to help set up) are Bumi’s grandpas.
From there, it’s pretty much a constant stream of greeting guests and other niceties Bumi hates having to perform. He loses track of how many times he repeats his plans for next year - going to school in Toronto to be a sign language interpreter - and why - because Zuko started teaching him sign language when he was little and he’s loved it ever since - to the many, many people who ask. He loses his stress ball about ten minutes into the party when he has to set it down on a table in order to take a gift bag from someone and doesn’t figure out where he put it until the party’s almost over, so he spends most of the time fidgeting with paper cups and plastic silverware.
But it isn’t until Suki sits down next to him, after most of the guests have left and the party is drawing to a close, that he’s confronted with the only conversation he truly fears.
She already knows his college and career plans, of course. Bumi knows his parents tell their friends everything about him and his siblings, like they can’t talk about themselves anymore now that they have kids. Or their lives just aren’t interesting enough to talk about. Whatever the case, all of Bumi’s parents’ friends know more about Bumi than Bumi would sometimes like.
(Not to mention Izumi said Zuko cried when he found out Bumi wanted to be an interpreter because of him, so Bumi knows if his parents didn’t mention it to Suki, Zuko definitely did.)
The conversation is fine at the beginning. Suki gives him some advice for college while Bumi finishes his sandwich and watches Kya and her not-girlfriend play a card game with Izumi, Lin, and a couple of Bumi’s friends.
Unfortunately, Suki must notice Bumi’s gaze keeps wandering over that direction and she drastically misinterprets why. The real reason is Bumi wants to be involved, and also he’s trying to figure out if Tenzin chose not to play or was told he wasn’t allowed to join.
But Suki says, “If it makes you feel better, your mom dated her first boyfriend before Sokka dated anyone.”
It takes him a minute before he realizes why she said it - because Bumi’s the oldest sibling, so logically, he should date someone before Kya does. But they’re only about eighteen months apart and it’s not like Bumi is crushing on anyone, so there’s no reason for him to be jealous.
He shrugs. “I’m not really bothered by it.” He pops the last bite of his sandwich in his mouth before sliding the plate out of his way so he doesn’t start fidgeting with it and accidentally dump the crumbs all over the table.
Suki laughs and then nudges him. “You’re not ‘talking’ to anyone right now? No one you’re wanting to make a move on before you leave in the fall?”
There is it.
The dreaded question.
Because no, there isn’t, and Bumi is pretty sure there never will be. But that sounds insane even to him. And how can he be sure that won’t all change once he goes to college? How can he be sure he’s never going to meet someone who changes his mind? It’s not like he had a ton of options in high school, and there was so much trivial high school drama floating around his peers that he’d just shut himself off from all of it.
Maybe things will change in college, when there’s less fistfighting in the hallway for no good reason and hacking into people’s Instagram accounts to prove they’re cheating.
Bumi shrugs again, twisting his fingers together under the table and wishing he hadn’t let Tenzin borrow his stress ball after finally relocating it. “I’m not… super interested in dating. Right now.”
Suki raises an eyebrow. “Right now? Or ever?”
“...Dunno,” Bumi mumbles, even though he probably does know. He’s just not sure he’s willing to say the answer out loud.
“You know,” Suki says casually, leaning back in her chair, “I felt the same way when I was younger, and I still sort of feel that way about romance. It’s just not for me.”
Bumi frowns. “I thought you dated Uncle Sokka in college?”
“I did. But I realized pretty quickly that it wasn’t right for me. We didn’t quite like each other in the same way. I thought I was alone in how I felt for a while, but there are other people out there who just… don’t feel any sort of romantic attraction towards other people, and that doesn’t make us broken or incomplete. And there’s actually a word for it now.”
Bumi doesn’t respond; he just stares down at the table. It’s not exactly a good time for an identity crisis. He still has to help his parents clean up from the party and team up with Izumi to taunt Kya.
Suki stands up, and Bumi thanks Tui and La that she could apparently figure out he isn’t interested in having this conversation right now. “If you’re interested, I think you should look into the term aromantic and see if that describes how you feel. Either way, I’m always here to talk if you need me.”
Bumi mumbles out a thanks as Suki picks up her cup of lemonade and walks off to talk to someone else, but he’s already made up his mind.
He could see himself having a crush on someone someday in the future, in theory, so he can’t be whatever Suki was suggesting. And it wouldn’t be right for him to claim that label if it’s not really him. That’s all there is to it.
Once Suki’s absorbed in a conversation with Sokka and Yue, he picks up his plate and goes to throw it away before stalking over to the card game Kya has going on to see if he can join in, pushing Suki’s suggestion out of his mind.
iv. July 2016, Age 21
In retrospect, it probably shouldn’t have come as such a surprise when Kya and Lin started dating.
Not that Bumi’s ever been particularly good at picking up on other people’s crushes, but looking back, even he can pick out some of the signs that should have been pretty noticeable.
But no. Everyone except for Izumi was caught off guard when the two announced they were together. And the only reason Izumi knew was because apparently both Kya and Lin went to her for advice, saying they didn’t want to ruin the cousin/friend group dynamic if they broke up, but they also really wanted to date the other person.
When Izumi told Bumi this, his first instinct was to get upset that Kya didn’t come to him for advice. But then he realized that no one in their right mind would pick Bumi over Izumi for romantic advice when Bumi’s never dated anyone and Izumi has. The best advice Bumi could have given to Kya would have been to talk to Izumi instead.
Bumi is happy for them really - except for when they decide that date night apparently trumps Family Game Night, which leaves Bumi and Izumi with only Tenzin and Su for company.
Family Game Night started the summer after Bumi’s first year of college, and, contrary to what the name implies, is not limited only to the cousins. Generally, it takes place on Wednesday nights in the summer and includes Bumi, Kya, Tenzin, Izumi, Lin, and Su, and their parents will switch between hosting it.
The good news is this week’s game night is at Zuko and Sokka’s house, so when they join in to appease Su’s request to play Kemps, Bumi’s actually okay with it. Izumi doesn’t look quite so pleased, but she’s alone in being annoyed by her parents because everyone else loves Zuko and Sokka.
(Well. Everyone else loves Zuko and Sokka until they’re winning every round of Kemps through their freaky having-conversations-without-actually-speaking thing.)
“Tui and La!” Izumi exclaims, slamming her cards down on the table after Zuko and Sokka’s seventh consecutive win. She looks over at Sokka. “You guys need to be on different teams. This isn’t fair for the rest of us!”
“I call Sokka!” Su shouts before Izumi’s even finished speaking. She turns to her right and latches onto Sokka’s arm.
They all end up switching partners so Su is with Sokka, Bumi is with Zuko, and Tenzin is with Izumi.
Unfortunately, when Izumi was being so adamant about not being on the same team as either of her dads, she allowed the two people fully fluent in sign language to team up with each other. Bumi and Zuko realize pretty quickly that they can use this to their advantage, because the only other person who understands some of what they’re saying is Sokka, and even he still hasn’t managed to get the facial expression parts down.
Once Su and Sokka finally manage to beat Zuko and Bumi, they all agree it’s time to play a different game.
It’s nearly ten when Kya and Lin stop by to pick up Tenzin and Su, and Su is half asleep on the couch, so Sokka ends up just carrying her out to Lin’s car. Technically, the plan was for Tenzin to go home with Bumi, but Bumi is locked in a heated conversation with Zuko about the evolution of sign language over the past decade when Kya and Lin show up, and Tenzin is ready to go home. So Lin offers to give him a ride since she has to take Kya back to their house anyways.
This, of course, leads to Bumi’s conversation with Zuko lasting about an hour longer than it would have if Bumi had needed to take Tenzin home. Izumi disappears into her bedroom, grumbling about how her entire family is comprised of nerds.
At some point, Sokka shows up and sits down next to Zuko, listening in on the conversation as he braids his husband’s hair.
Eventually, the conversation flows to other topics - what classes Bumi is taking next year, whether he’s going to stay in Toronto or come back home after graduation, and so on until--
“You’re not dating anyone, are you?” Sokka interjects, and Bumi can feel himself shutting down at the question. Suddenly, he feels like his social battery has drained to a zero and he just wants to be at home in bed.
Zuko elbows Sokka, who is already apologizing. “Sorry! I’m not trying to be judgmental, I was just wondering. I don’t remember you saying anything about dating someone, but sometimes I forget things. I mean, I’m sure you get that as well as I do, since it’s an ADHD thing.”
Bumi relaxes a bit, though his mind still has flashing lights going off, shouting DANGER! PROCEED WITH CAUTION! He lets out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, no, I’m not dating anyone right now.”
Or ever, his brain supplies.
Bumi ignores it.
Thankfully, neither Sokka nor Zuko seem intent on telling Bumi his time is running out or asking him if he’s gay and that’s the reason he’s never dated anyone.
(Seriously, how many times are people going to ask Bumi if he’s gay and in denial? If he were gay, he wouldn’t have any reason to deny it; not when Kya’s been out for years, Zuko and Sokka have been out since before Bumi was born, and his parents have been nothing but supportive.)
Zuko nods. “You shouldn’t force yourself to date someone just to say you’re dating someone. Do things on your own time, when you’re ready.”
The word thanks gets stuck in Bumi’s throat, battling with What if I’m never ready? for which phrase gets to be the one to echo through the room. In the end, Bumi keeps his mouth clamped tightly shut so neither one of them can escape.
“Yeah,” Sokka agrees. “It’s like we told Izumi after she broke up with her first boyfriend - there’s no rush to find the right person. You’ll meet them when you meet them.”
That’s the problem.
Bumi doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life waiting on someone who probably doesn’t exist. Even if he doesn’t meet the “right person” until later in life, shouldn’t he have at least met someone he could see himself in a relationship with by now? He’s twenty-one and the closest thing he’s had to a crush was when he picked a girl at random back in elementary school to appease all of his friends when they asked who he had a crush on.
Bumi looks down at his hands, only now realizing he’s been twisting his fingers together. “What if--” he starts before he can think better of it. He glances back up briefly, only long enough to see that both Zuko and Sokka are listening and waiting for him to continue. “What if I… don’t think there’s ever going to be a ‘right person’? What if I don’t think I’m ever going to want to date someone?”
There’s only half a beat of silence before Sokka speaks up. “Then that’s fine too. You don’t need a significant other to make your life complete.”
“Suki and Toph both feel the same way,” Zuko adds. “Or, they at least feel similarly. They’ve both found that the label aromantic fits them. It’s used to describe people who aren’t romantically attracted to anyone. I’m sure they could tell you more about it than Sokka and I, if you’re interested.”
There’s a buzz at the base of Bumi’s skull that starts upon hearing the word aromantic. He’s heard that before, somewhere, he’s heard it--
He heard it at his graduation party.
He heard it from Suki.
And he’d decided that that label couldn’t be for him - it’s not his to take claim to - because it’s not that he can’t feel romantic attraction. He just. Hasn’t.
It’s not that he’s incapable of feeling romantic attraction; it’s that he doesn’t want to. And that’s different. There’s a difference between not wanting romance and not experiencing it, and Bumi falls into the first category. Suki and Toph fall into the second.
“I’m… not sure,” Bumi hears himself say.
“You don’t have to know,” Sokka assures him. “You don’t have to give yourself a label you don’t want or you feel doesn’t fit. Labels are supposed to make you feel good about yourself; don’t call yourself anything that feels like a cage.”
That helps Bumi breathe a little easier.
“Thank you,” he whispers, though it sounds far away.
He doesn’t have to choose any label that doesn’t fit, but--
But what if the label he’s already rejected is the one that describes his experiences best? Should he open himself up to that possibility? Or should he just continue to let himself be?
He thinks, for now, just letting it be is easiest.
But he also knows this identity crisis is going to come to a head at some point. He’s just too tired to deal with it right now, so he’ll take the out of not labelling himself and do a little deeper digging into his feelings some other time.
v. December 2016, Age 22
Kya’s decision to wait a couple years before going to college is turning out to be the bane of Bumi’s existence.
If Kya had done the same thing Bumi did and went to college directly after high school, she would still be only a grade behind him. And she and Lin wouldn’t have gotten together because Kya would’ve been two hours away in Toronto with Bumi instead of back home where she could talk to Lin every day.
Not that Bumi is judging anyone who doesn’t go to college right out of high school. He’s just getting a little frustrated trying to study for his finals when Kya and Lin are sitting a couple meters away seeing how much PDA they can get away with in the library since freshmen apparently don’t have any finals that require studying.
Not to mention Lin didn’t bother bringing any of her homework on her weekend trip to visit her girlfriend, because why would she? And instead of going out to a restaurant or café like any normal couple, Kya decided her and Lin’s dates should take place at the library. Right next to where Bumi is trying to study. Like they don’t want him to feel left out or something.
News flash: Bumi would much rather feel left out than have to thirdwheel on his little sister’s dates a couple weeks before finals.
The worst part is Bumi knows they’re trying to let him focus. They’re not being loud or rowdy; they’re just sitting too close and whispering and trading quick kisses.
Finally Bumi drops his pencil and looks over at his sister and Lin. “Could you two take your flirting somewhere else?”
The whispers stop, and then--
“We’re not flirting!” Kya exclaims. “It’s not my fault you’re jealous.” She crosses her arms.
Bumi wrinkles his nose. “Jealous? Of what? Unlike Tenzin, I have never had a crush on Lin.”
Kya stifles a laugh while Lin’s eyes widen. “What?” she asks.
“Sorry, babe.” Kya drops a kiss on Lin’s head as Lin continues to balk at Bumi’s revelation. “Tenzin had it bad for you when the two of you were, like, fourteen. I figured you knew. Izumi still finds it hilarious that I ended up dating my little brother’s first big crush.”
“Gross.” Lin shakes her head. “I don’t think I could ever see Tenzin as anything other than a brother.”
Kya laughs, then turns her attention back to Bumi. “I didn’t mean jealous of the fact that I’m dating Lin specifically. I just meant jealous of the fact that I’m in a relationship and you’re not.”
Bumi’s stomach starts to turn.
Lin smacks Kya’s arm lightly. “Don’t be rude! Who cares if Bumi’s never been in a relationship? Honestly, I wish I’d just stayed single for a little while longer instead of dating Arun sophomore year of high school. Would’ve saved me a lot of trouble.”
Bumi rolls his eyes, trying to ignore the building panic in his chest. “Thanks, Lin, but I’m not so sure dating is in my future at all. It’s not exactly something I’m very interested in.”
Lin doesn’t miss a beat. “Oh, sure, like my mom.” She glances over at Kya. “If Bumi’s aromantic, I don’t think he’s jealous of us.”
“Woah, wait!” Bumi interjects before Kya can respond. “I’m not-- I’m not. That.”
Lin raises an eyebrow. “You’re not what? Aromantic?” She pauses, but Bumi doesn’t offer anything to fill the silence. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed. What you said just reminded me of my mom, and that’s the label she uses.”
Bumi tenses. He’s put questioning the details of his sexuality off for this long; why couldn’t this conversation wait another few weeks? At least until finals are over and he has time to breathe.
He shakes his head. He wants to offer some sort of additional explanation, but he’s not sure he can formulate one that sounds reasonable outside the confines of his own brain.
“You’re not?” Kya questions. “I always thought you just didn’t feel the need to come out, or you were waiting for the right time to tell people.”
“I--” Bumi stops himself, briefly, and then finishes with, “...don’t know.” He looks down at his hands, which have started fidgeting with his pencil in lieu of an actual fidget toy. “I guess I’m just not sure that label will always be accurate?”
There’s only a moment of silence before Lin is speaking up again. “You’re allowed to change your label as you grow. I identified as bi for years before coming out as a lesbian. My mom went through several different labels before she settled on aromantic. You’re allowed to use a label that fits you now with the knowledge that your feelings could change at some point. You don’t have to be one hundred percent certain.”
Bumi rolls Lin’s words over in his mind for a moment, letting them sink in.
Maybe… Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to do some research on aromanticism.
Just. Not before finals are over. Because right now, he needs to focus on not flunking out during his senior year.
+ i. June 2017, Age 22
Bumi’s back home, done with college, lying on the bed in his childhood bedroom, and it’s…
Weird?
He talked to Toph yesterday, asking her how she figured out that she’s aromantic and what all, exactly, that label entails.
She’d explained the difference between her and Suki - that Toph is both aromantic and asexual while Suki is aromantic and bisexual, and she’d told Bumi about the differences between romantic and sexual attraction the way she’d come to understand it through talking to other people.
And the more Toph spoke about her experience, the more Bumi felt like he was talking to someone who really understood for the first time.
After he’d left Toph’s house and driven back home, he’d texted Suki. Whether because he’s hoping another perspective will prove him wrong or because he needs to be sure this is right, he’s not sure. But he’d asked if he could talk to her today.
So now he’s here, lying on his back and messing with his Rubik’s Cube, waiting for the phone call that will decide his fate.
(Except… Bumi is beginning to think it’s already been decided. He just needs a final push towards accepting it.)
Both too soon and not soon enough, his phone is ringing and Suki’s name is popping up on the screen.
Bumi pushes himself up into a sitting position, resting his back against the headboard, and grabs his phone off the charger before swiping to answer the call. With the way his nerves seem to be trying to turn his stomach inside out, he’s pretty proud of the fact that he’s able to even say, “Hello,” with a steady voice.
He puts her on speaker and sets the phone face up on the bed next to him so he can continue playing with his Rubik’s Cube, which has long since been mixed up beyond a simple two or three move fix.
(Not that it matters much; Sokka taught him how to solve it a decade ago, and it would only take Bumi a minute to solve it again.)
“Hi!” Suki’s voice sounds from the phone. “Are you doing alright? Your text didn’t really explain much.”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Bumi hates how strained his voice sounds, and he’s suddenly very glad no one else is home right now. His door is shut, but this is not the time to discover exactly how soundproof that makes his bedroom. “I was just… wondering if you could tell me how you knew you’re aromantic?”
Suki might be silent for half a second or a thousand years; Bumi truly can’t tell. All he can hear is the clicking of his Rubik’s Cube as he twists the columns around.
Finally, she says, “Sure! Well, obviously you know Sokka and I dated for about six months while we were in college. And for the first, uhh, two months? Ish? Everything was great! But once the honeymoon phase and shock of actually, you know, being in a relationship for the first time wore off, it hit me pretty quickly that something just… wasn’t right. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was for years , but I knew something about our relationship was wrong.
“It wasn’t until maybe a decade later - right around the time you were born - when I first heard about asexuality. And that didn’t exactly click with me, but I figured, if people can be sexually attracted to no one but romantically attracted to people, the opposite could be true too. I don’t remember exactly when it was that the term aromantic started gaining popularity, but as soon as I did some reading on it, I knew. The more reading I did, the more I felt like I finally found people who I could relate to.”
Bumi swallows thickly.
That’s the thing - he’s never been able to relate to Kya or Tenzin when they’ve talked about crushes and relationships. He could never understand Izumi and Kya getting uppity when trying to decide what to wear on a date or why even Lin gets all blushy and soft-smiled around Kya. He didn’t get why Lin dated Arun just to date someone, nor did he understand why Izumi was so upset about her first breakup when she was the one who ended the relationship.
What he does understand - what he can relate to - is what Toph was telling him yesterday. About not seeing the big deal about relationships or getting married, about not quite getting the pedestal everyone else places romance and sex on.
Spirits.
“Thanks,” Bumi responds, his voice rough. “That… that helped. Thank you.”
“Of course! I’m always here if you need me.”
Bumi barely registers the farewells and the hanging up. His mind is too full of the smoke of the realization that he thinks, deep down, he’s known for years.
He falls back onto his back and stares up at the ceiling of his bedroom. He places the Rubik’s Cube down beside him and folds his hands on his chest.
“I’m aromantic,” he says aloud, to no one.
He says aloud to himself.
“I’m aromantic,” he repeats, more sure of it this time.
Yeah, he thinks, that sounds right.