Chapter Text
“Hey. I gotta go.”
Minhyuk looks up from his phone, eyes going round as he’s taken off guard by your appearance in the doorway to the small recording space. He glances at the backpack slung over your shoulder and the crate you’re holding propped up against one hip.
“For real this time?”
You nod. He unfolds his long limbs, getting up off the low couch and in a flash he’s taken the crate from you and wrapped his arms around your upper body. You wheeze out a laugh, crushed against the much taller man in a way that seems likely to break several of your vertebrae.
“Minnie,” you choke out. “Not so tight…this is like our tenth goodbye hug, anyway.”
He steps back, blond hair falling almost in his eyes as he looks down at you with an exaggerated pout.
“But it’s the last one!! You said so yourself. Today is your last last day.”
“I know,” you say, giving him a smile that hopefully hides the sadness you’re feeling. “But it’s not like you’ll never see me again.”
Minhyuk tilts his head at you, raising his eyebrow in a skeptical arch. You sigh.
“I’ll text you all the time. We still have the groupchat and, like, you literally know where I live. I’m not technically going anywhere.”
“Yes you are. You’re betraying us all and selling your soul to another company.”
“I’m selling my soul to the company. Remember that,” you admonish him, barely holding back a grin. “I’m a BigHit employee now...show some respect, yeah?”
Minhyuk scoffs, dimples appearing in his cheeks as he grabs you by the shoulders and spins you around to push you into the hallway. You let out a little squeal of protest.
“Hey!! First you wanted me to stay and now you’re shoving me out??”
“You’re being annoying. Let’s go, brat.”
“Fine. Can you carry my crate?”
“I’m carrying the crate. Come on, you have to say goodbye.”
“I already said goodbye to him!!”
“Mhm.”
Minhyuk practically perp walks you down the hall, steering you left around a corner and past a few empty studios until you reach a closed door. He extends a long arm and raps on the glass pane with his knuckles.
A few moments later, the door swings open to reveal a man with ginger colored hair. As soon as he recognizes you, he smiles – revealing the deepest dimples you’ve ever seen in your life. His eyes practically disappear behind his high cheekbones as he grins at you.
“Y/N-ah,” Jooheon says cutely, resting a forearm against the doorframe by his head and poking the opposite hip out to the side. “You come by to produce one last song for us?”
Minhyuk plops your crate down on the floor by your feet, leaning in to plant a lightning-fast peck on your cheek before scurrying off in the direction he came. “Text me, Y/N-ah!! I’ll be waiting!”
You wipe at your cheek, scowling after your lanky friend as he escapes down the hall. Jooheon opens the studio door wider and steps back to let you inside, still grinning as you move to stand by the low coffee table. He closes the door and turns to face you, pausing a few beats before speaking.
“How are you feeling?”
You draw in a long breath through your nose. “Fine. A little nervous.”
He narrows his eyes. “If they’re mean to you over there, you call me right away.”
“Stop,” you say, rolling your eyes a little bit and smiling. “Everyone I’ve met over the past couple weeks has been super nice. The transition has been pretty easy so far. I just…want to do a good job.”
Jooheon steps closer to you, dipping his head slightly to hold your gaze. “You know they offered you this deal because you’re amazing at what you do, right?”
“Mm.”
He positions himself in front of you.
“Say it.”
“Say what?”
“You know.”
“Please don’t make me. Minhyuk made me say it four times already this week.”
“I wanna hear it.”
You glare at Jooheon. He blinks slowly back at you, the beginning of a dimple forming in his left cheek.
You huff out a long exhale. “I’m the cutest and most talented producer on the planet. BigHit is lucky to have me.”
Jooheon’s face cracks into a sly grin, a laugh bubbling up from his chest. It’s infectious – within seconds you’re smiling and tilting your face toward the ceiling to hide the color growing in your cheeks. When you look back at Jooheon, the grin is slowly fading from his face. He searches your eyes for a moment.
“What am I gonna do without you?” he asks, lapsing into English.
You reach out a hand to him, tugging a bit on the front of his sweatshirt. You know Jooheon only uses English with you when he has something important to say – a habit of his that you’ve come to adore. You’re proud to be multilingual but there’s something special about hearing your first language spoken here in Seoul.
“You’ll be fine,” you say softly. “You guys are still finding your sound. You don’t need me to do that. Starship will bring on someone who’s a perfect fit.”
Jooheon moves closer, placing a warm hand on either of your arms. He rubs a soft circle into your left elbow.
“What about outside of work, hm?” he murmurs, voice low and tinged with something bittersweet. “I’ll miss you then, too.”
You draw in a shallow breath. “Joo…”
Inching even closer, he leans his forehead against yours. You can smell the sweet notes of his shampoo.
“Just stay a little longer. One hour,” he offers, bringing a hand up to gently run his knuckles against your jaw. “And then we can say goodbye.”
The warmth in your cheeks spreads lower, making your heart beat a little faster as a familiar longing tugs in your belly. You look from Jooheon’s eyes to his lips, mind travelling back in time as you linger with his proposal.
------
It’s early. The dorm is quiet as you pad down the hall to the bathroom, running a hand through your bed-matted hair. You’re a little hungover from last night and you seriously have to pee.
After dealing with your bladder, you turn on the hot water tap to wash your hands. A soft knock comes at the door.
“Yeah?”
There’s no answer, but the door swings inward just enough for Jooheon to slip inside. He closes the door behind him, making sure to be quiet about it as he watches you lather soap between your fingers. You raise one eyebrow in question.
“Can I help you?”
A slow smile spreads across his face. He’s shirtless, eyes still squinty with sleep and hair sticking out in all different directions. He’s cute with bedhead, you think. You move to reach for a towel to dry your hands and Jooheon pushes off from where he’s leaned against the back of the bathroom door. He comes up behind you, hands resting lightly on your hips.
“You left,” he says, a hint of sulking in his voice.
“Mm. I couldn’t take Changkyun’s snoring any longer,” you murmur. “Is he still passed out in your bed?”
“Yup.”
You click your tongue, tossing the towel to the side as you gently push your hips back toward Jooheon’s.
“Damn…so much for finishing what we started,” you sigh.
Jooheon meets your eye in the mirror, bringing his lips closer to your ear. “We could finish it in here.”
You toy with the idea for a few moments. The dorm bathroom isn’t the cleanest place in the universe…but you’re horny. Like, woke-up-already-feeling-hot-and-bothered horny. Still worked up from being interrupted and pestered all night by Changkyun who for some reason insisted on sleeping in Jooheon’s bed with the two of you. You’re pretty sure he knows about you and Jooheon – you’ve been hooking up here and there for a couple months – so you assume the sabotage was intentional. Brat.
Jooheon’s fingertips brush the hem of the oversized t-shirt you subbed in as a nightgown. “Do you want to?”
You hold his gaze in the mirror as you cover his hand with yours and guide it under your t-shirt, pressing his palm against your belly. “I’ve been wanting to. All night.”
Jooheon’s breath is warm against your ear as he slips his fingers beneath your panties, dipping them low to find the wetness waiting between your legs. The pad of one finger swipes through your folds to gather it before sliding up again to rub unhurried circles around your clit. You let out a shaky exhale as he presses his hips forward to pin you against the counter. You can feel how hard he is through the fabric of his sweatpants.
“Missed you,” he whispers, voice husky and warm.
“We were together all night.”
“You know what I mean.”
Jooheon slides his hand down again, holding his palm against your clit as two fingertips press at your opening. You moan into his touch, keeping your lips sealed tightly together so the sound is trapped in your throat.
“Condom,” you breathe shakily.
He fumbles in one of the drawers to your left, holding you firmly against him until he pulls out a foil packet. Jooheon releases you and takes a step back to sheath himself.
“We have to keep quiet,” you remind him.
“I’m not the loud one,” he quips back, feline eyes flicking up to meet yours as he smirks. He reaches for your hips again and gently tugs. “Turn around.”
You shake your head, grabbing one of his hands in yours to hold him in place as you lean your chest down low over the counter. “No…want it like this.”
“You sure?”
You glance back at him over your shoulder, tongue darting out to wet your bottom lip as you feel Jooheon’s knuckles against your panties. He uses two fingers to pull them aside and you let out a small gasp at the sudden touch of cool air against your core.
“Of course I’m sure. You know I like it when – aah!”
You cry out briefly at the sensation of Jooheon pushing his way inside of you – gently, but still the drag and stretch has you breathless for the first few seconds. He pushes you snug against the cabinets as he bottoms out and you wince at the feeling of your hipbones grinding against the hard countertop. Jooheon notices, somehow, and slides his hands down to rub your hips and pull you back by a couple of inches.
“You OK?”
“Yeah, yeah,” you pant, lips curving into a smile as he starts to thrust slowly. “Feels so good like this, Joo...”
He doesn’t answer, just holds on to your hips and moves in and out of you at an achingly slow pace. In the mirror you see his eyebrows pulled together in concentration, abs clenched as he sets about fucking you in the most diligent way possible. You arch your back, pushing your ass against his hips and giving him room to slip a hand between your legs again. You bite back another moan and toss your hair over one shoulder as heat starts to build in the pit of your stomach.
“You can go faster,” you purr, rolling your hips a bit to encourage him.
Jooheon complies automatically, body getting ahead of him even as he sinks his teeth into his lower lip in worry. “I don’t want to hurt you like this.”
“You won’t! J-just keeping going.”
Jooheon knows your body so well at this point – and you know his. Sex with him is really just a matter of how long you want to go at it before getting one another off, since you’ve both memorized the quickest routes and techniques. You’ve hooked up enough to read his body like a book – which is why you can tell what’s about to happen as soon as Jooheon opens his mouth to speak again.
“Y/N…b-baby,” he stammers out. You bristle a bit at the nickname, but let it slide as usual. “Let me turn you around. I want to see you.”
You let out a breathy exhale through your mouth, stifling both a groan and a laugh as you straighten up and let Jooheon reposition you. He’s about to come already. You can hear it in his voice – feel it in the tension of his grip. He sets you on the edge of the countertop and pulls your panties off, giving you a second to hike your thighs up around his waist before lining himself up with your core again. You lay your forearms along the plane of his shoulders, fingertips scraping against the nape of his neck as he pushes back into you with a low groan.
Jooheon is vanilla. You mean this in the best sense, of course: he’s dependable. Easy-going. When he’s good, he’s good – and on the right day, he’s exactly what you need. So he tends to be sweet, rather than…well, fun – but sex with him is uncomplicated and sweet guys are kind of far and few between. It works both ways, you think – you’re probably vanilla for Jooheon, too. It’s why you work as friends and it’s why you have chemistry as friends with benefits.
So it doesn’t really bother you when he comes a few minutes later, face buried in your neck as he empties himself into the condom with a shuddery breath. You smile and slide your hands down his back to press him closer to you as he rides out his finish. Eventually he pulls back, still breathing heavily as he meets your eye and smiles sheepishly.
“Sorry,” he pants. “You just feel so fucking good. Couldn’t help it.”
You reach up to push the sweaty hair back from his forehead. “It’s OK. Just keep feeding me compliments and we’re set.”
He grins, leaning forward to press a brief kiss against your lips. Sweet.
“Let’s take a shower. Get cleaned up.”
Ten minutes later you’ve thrown the idea of “keeping quiet” out the window as Jooheon gets on his knees to hitch one of your legs over his shoulder. You thread your fingers into his hair and moan freely into the steam of the shower as he puts his mouth to work, making sure you’re not only clean but also fully satisfied after so much build-up. He’s a good friend, after all.
-----
You’ve built a lot of trust with Jooheon over the past several months. He’s technically a coworker – but he’s also one of your closest friends in Seoul and one of the very few people you’ve shared your body with since moving here. He gets you – and he makes getting you seem simple. It’s what makes him an easy fixture in your life.
It’s also what makes this decision so difficult.
Jooheon sees it before you say anything: you draw in a quick breath, holding it in your chest as you look up at him from beneath your lashes. He sees the hesitation in your eyes and makes the next part easy for you.
“…You gotta go.”
It sucks, hearing him say the words. But it’s true. You nod, and he drops his hands away from your arms.
“I need to drop the rest of my stuff off…and I have a meeting at three,” you explain, the words feeling wooden in your mouth. “But I’ll call – “
“I know,” Jooheon cuts you off. Gives you a warm smile. “I know you will. But you have to focus on getting your feet under you, first.”
You nod again. It almost makes it worse that he knows exactly what to say.
You’ve talked about this multiple times – you know you’ll still be friends, but it feels strange that you won’t be seeing him around the office anymore. His life as an idol is already so hectic and yours is about to get really busy, too – way busier than before. You’d both agreed to take some space so you could get settled at BigHit and Jooheon could focus on preparing for the upcoming tour with his members. Even so, it feels weird to finally be saying some kind of goodbye.
Jooheon helps you gather up your things again and hangs in the doorway to the studio as you take a few steps down the hallway. His dimples reappear as you give him an awkward little wave.
“Don’t worry,” Jooheon calls as you get farther away. “They’re all going to love you.”
You laugh. Hopefully he’s right.
Your first month at BigHit was a blur.
Hired as a production tech, you were brought on basically to support the company’s existing production team in whatever way they needed. Though BigHit had pursued you and offered a deal purposely meant to outbid your previous contract at Starship, you still had a long way to go to prove yourself to the company. During the first month you had some facetime with artists but you didn’t spend the majority of your weeks producing music, per se – or at least, not in the way you would’ve imagined it when you first thought about making a career as a producer.
You spent a good chunk of time listening. Watching. Sitting in on sessions with more senior producers who seemed to spend every waking moment tinkering around with one track or another. You were often invited into a studio or table session as a point of consult, though it seems understood by all that you’re a rookie and for now you’re just hanging out to absorb everything. There’s a lot to learn about the company’s culture and the sound of each artist, and you’re hungry for all of it. The listening and watching doesn’t bother you.
You were grateful for any task, no matter how menial. Organizing computer files, following up on requests for masters, mixing guide tracks – you did it all happily. You weren’t above taking coffee orders if it meant you could start to form a relationship with the production staff.
In short, you were a simp for BigHit. This didn’t bother you either. You’d make your mark when the time was right. You were sure you could handle whatever they threw at you in the meantime.
After a few weeks on the job, you more or less get assigned to one of the company’s newer and most promising acts. This feels like a huge step – it means you’ll get to work with some of the label’s best producers. The thought of having your name listed on a track alongside Slow Rabbit or Pdogg seems totally unreal but suddenly kind of possible.
But the biggest perk, you soon realize, is working with the idols.
Tomorrow By Together is young – both in the sense that the group was recently formed and in that the members are babies. You were a little shocked when you first laid eyes on Kai and realized he couldn’t be more than a teenager; you were surprised again when you heard the extremely adult voice that came out of him when he sang in front of you. You know Soobin is the appointed leader but the person who seems to stick out the most for you is Yeonjun: the oldest member, and always the first one to greet you or bark out a reminder when the others are getting off track.
The members are playful and sometimes really hyper – but more often than not you’re surprised at how focused they are. Their talent is obvious and you can tell they have a long career ahead of them. Though you’ve only known them for a few weeks, you hope you’ll be around for some of it.
As you enter your second month at BigHit, you spend more and more time with TXT. Sometimes you help with vocal lessons and recording sessions; other times you hunker down in the production wing while the members are attending other parts of their schedules. You’re hunched over your laptop in one of the shared studio spaces one morning when things take an unexpected turn.
Your headphones are on. You’re blasting a new album you’re currently obsessed with as you pore over Pdogg’s notes on one of the tracks being prepared for TXT. You don’t notice someone in the doorway until you happen to look up and catch sight of their reflection in the black monitor screen at the back of the desktop. You rip your headphones off, heart jumping into your throat as you choke back a curse and swivel around in your chair.
Bang Sihyuk is standing at the threshold of the studio, one hand still raised to knock on the doorframe as he watches you try to regain your composure.
“Hello,” he says, quietly but not unkindly. “Did I interrupt you?”
“N-no, PD-nim,” you say quickly, standing up out of your chair to bend into a bow. “I was just reviewing some notes. I didn’t hear you come in, I’m sorry.”
“You seem hard at work.”
Sihyuk’s not a physically imposing guy – he’s kind of built like a teddy bear and right now he’s dressed casually, not at all like the head of a powerful music label. Still – being in his presence is intimidating and you realize you have no idea how to impress him.
“Trying to be,” you reply, offering him a small smile. “Would you like to sit down?”
“No, that’s alright. I wanted to stop in and see how you’re adjusting to your new role.”
You blink. “Oh – wow. Thank you, I…I’m loving my work here.”
Sihyuk regards you silently from behind his round-frame glasses. Waiting for you to say something else, you think. You clear your throat.
“You know I was more closely involved in production at Starship…I do miss it. But BigHit is where I want to be and I’m honored to be helping with our next idol group's development.”
Sihyuk nods, looking more satisfied with that answer. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and folds his arms.
“I appreciate your honesty,” he says evenly. “I also came by to ask for your support on a specific project. You speak English?”
“Yes, it’s my first language.”
“And you sing?”
You pause, unsure of how to answer that question. “Ah…I’m not a singer. I mean I can sing – um, kind of – and I know a bit about vocal training but – “
He holds up a hand, a small smile on his lips. “That’s plenty. We’re in need of someone to help a few of our vocalists with their English pronunciation before we record certain tracks for an upcoming album. I thought you might be well-suited for the task – if you can make yourself available…”
“If I can m-make…I-I mean, of course,” you stammer out, brain struggling to catch up with what Sihyuk is saying. “I’m available. I’m here for whatever you need. For whatever BigHit needs.”
His smile deepens. “I’m glad to hear it. I’ll reach out to Pdogg and let him know to bring you on board – he’s heading the production on BTS’ projects, as you may know.”
Your brain is short-circuiting. It’s a long moment before you realize your mouth is hanging slightly open.
“Sure. Sure. I’ll wait to hear from him. Thank you, PD-nim.”
You give him a second (and this time extremely overzealous) bow, cheeks burning from the flush of excitement that creeps up from below your collar. Sihyuk leaves you standing alone in the studio space, mind racing with what this opportunity could mean for you.