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“You look like a zombie.” Lances voice rang through the empty castle hallways, his voice seemed to echo louder in the dimmed light of the castles night cycle.
Shiro, who was walking in Lances direction looking lost in thought, almost bumping into Lance, seemed to snap out the trance he had been in. Lance knew why he was here, why he was patrolling the castleship at this ungodly hour, why he had a far away look in his glazed eyes, unaware of his surroundings.
It is hard not to know when you are living with only six other people in a castle that is also a ship, fighting in a 10,000 year old war, and spending almost every moment of your time with those same people.
Lance doubts the others don’t know about this either, just like how everyone knows pidge stays late at night as well at the green lions hangar rewriting the same lines of code from frustration of finding no hint on her missing family, how hunk occupies the kitchen at any given moment to cook or bake away his anxiety and homesickness, how keith fights his demons in the form of the gladiators in the training room, how the princess wanders the castle only to stand outside the room which previously occupied her fathers AI, never entering it, just staring wordlessly at the door, the other paladins taking different routes to avoid ever passing that room, how coran is constantly around the castle, cleaning, maintaining, no one thinks he actually sleeps, always the first one up and the last one down.
Then again, it is hard to tell these days who the last one down is when no one seems to go down. It seems the automatic time cycle system which dims the lights does nothing for the paladins, its meant to tell them to go to bed, yet no one seems to listen to it.
Lance has just finished wrestling pidge into heading to bed, to be fair, pidge hasn’t fought lance against going to bed recently, she knows that is a fight she will never win. It has become pretty easy for Lance, he cannot complain, he would just enter the hangar doors and pidge would immediately get up without a word, gather her things, save her projects, and walk with Lance as they both head over to her room. Lance swears she has begun waiting for him to show up, her things packed up before he even arrives, but even if Lance noticed, he won’t mention it.
Usually, he wouldn’t run into Shiro around the castle, it is still a little too early for him to get up yet and patrol the castle, but to be fair, night terrors don’t have a routine, they are not predictable. This is the first time Lance runs into Shiro, usually he just hears his footsteps walking past his room every once in a while.
Shiro’s eyes snapped up to Lance, he was definitely lost in thought, or stuck in a memory, but thankfully he didn’t jump too much, Lance had a feeling if he stepped aside and let Shiro pass, he wouldn’t even notice that he had passed him.
“Lance!” Shiro practically breathed out, his body which previously tensed at the rude voice pulling him from his thoughts visibly relaxed in front of lance, his shoulder still seemed to hold some tension, then again this was the normal for Shiro.
“Yep” Lance nodded at Shiro, sending a lopsided smile in his direction and putting his hands in his jacket pockets, purposely pausing before fully relaxing his shoulders in hopes shiro could do the same. A part of Lance is glad he finally bumped into Shiro through the night cycle, he hoped that maybe he could help him like he helped the others, maybe Lance can do Shiro some good, god knows this man deserves a rest, maybe a nice eternity of sleep to recover.
Lance is also indefinitely aware of Shiros stubborn attitude, his need to hide his problems from anyone and pretend nothing is wrong. Letting his emotions fester and possibly definitely allowing for his PTSD to deteriorate further and resonate deeper. Lance has been devising a mental plan to start breaking down those walls, his goal being to get Shiro to get at least 4 Vargas of sleep.
“Sorry, I was lost in thought..” he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, for a fearless leader this man was horribly socially anxious, and it was plainly obvious, good thing lance is a determined extrovert, even his time in the void couldn’t change that about him. “What are you doing up? Everything alright?” Shiro asked curiously, his human hand now falling uselessly by his side.
Leave it to Shiro to focus on his teams problems when he was deep in his own, “oh I just finished putting pidge to bed.” Lance explained, jotting his thumb in the direction he came from, that being pidges bedroom. “I am actually headed to the kitchen to make some tea, wanna join?” He grinned cheerily, showing his pearly whites, Lance is pretty grateful that throughout the whole battling the galra he never accidentally lost a tooth.
“uhh” Shiro paused for a second, obviously trying to get away from it, Lance from before the void would’ve probably let shiro get out of it, thinking that maybe he is crossing a line with the black paladin, but lance now, after the void, knows and understand where shiro is right now, and knows that he needs to help, if only to be there for his leader, his friend, the same way his friend would be there for any of them. If only to accompany him in a time of need, even without conversation. And it definitely helps that lance now understands trauma, considering trauma is basically his personality trait by now.
“Common dude, I’ll make you a glass too, it’s really relaxing. Helps calm the nerves and all that.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, then gave a show of looking both sides and leaned in slightly toward Shiro, as if he is telling him a super important secret, “Between you and me, it’s the one thing Coran made that doesn’t taste like wood dipped in pickle juice” lance shrugged leaning back.
Shiro snorted, like actually full on snorted, at lances lame barely there attempt to lighten the mood, and it made lances smile more genuine. “I guess I’ve gotta try that then.” He let out a breath.
Lance was glad phase one of his make Shiro feel better plan was working, and he didn’t bother hiding the slight skip to his step as he began walking past Shiro in the direction of the kitchen.
Their walk to the kitchen was silent, comfortable. Lance left the air open for Shiro to initiate conversation if he felt up to it, and it seemed he didn’t feel up to it, which by all means was no problem for lance.
Once they made it to the kitchen, Lance went to prepare the space tea Coran made him one day, Lance liked it, it didn’t taste like dirt and leaves, it actually tasted pretty sweet, like pomegranates without the weird seed in the middle. It was a weird grey though, so physical appearance is a little deceiving, hell, Lance wouldn’t have tried it if Coran hadn’t made it for him. Lance liked to indulge whatever little thing Coran does for him, he has a feeling Coran missed doing this for someone else, and maybe taking care of the current paladins brings him comfort, besides, lance greatly enjoys Coran’s company.
He loves to hear his stories, loves helping him around the castle, and lance can’t deny the advantage of dealing with so much Altean technology allowing him to actually understand most of it, and Coran is always enthusiastic to help, never once refusing to not indulge lances curiosity, and hell if lance wasn’t curious.
Knowing Shiro, he would probably indulge lance and take a sip if lance played it right, a little eye widening here, a little pout there, it doesn’t help that lance looks far older now, and his puppy dog eyes might not be as effective as they used to be, but that won’t stop lance from playing with Shiros obvious need to make his paladins happy.
He placed the steaming cup of space tea in front of Shiro, who sat down on the attached seating area beside the island. Lance noticed the little scrunch of eyebrows and disgusted look Shiro gave the tea, and lance tried to hide his amusement behind his cup, Shiro looks like a child would look when a plate of vegetables are placed in front of them.
“Just try it, it could surprise you” Lance didn’t bother hiding the amusement in his tone of voice as he spoke to Shiro, who merely nodded at lance but didn’t move to even grab the glass.
Lance continued to drink his sweet space tea slowly, enjoying every second of it, lance has learned to appreciate a lot of things after being stuck in the void, he guesses people are right to say you only learn to appreciate something when it is gone, or something along those lines.
They continue in silence, Shiro continued to stare at the mug and slowly moved his hands forward to wring them around it, still not moving the mug closer to him, but just continuing to stare.
Progress.
Lance allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts, taking deep breaths and relaxing, if he focuses enough, he could feel all the presences on the castle ship, he could feel the lions in their hangars, not just blue but all of them, can practically hear the hum of their engines, he can feel Laila’s heartbeat thrumming through his own veins, she was in her snake form, slithering around his body. He can’t deny the benefits of Laila’s ability to shapeshift, it allows her to stay by his side all the time, and lance has gotten used to having her close to him after too many times of her being separated from him. Lance would have forced her to sleep in bed, but she is too stubborn for her own good, and prefers to slither in her snake form when they want her to go unnoticed by others, but still stay close, she was asleep at the moment though, underneath his shirt, she wrapped herself protectively around Lances body and got comfortable, her body hidden by lances jacket.
Meeting Laila has really helped lance survive the void, and sometimes he wonders what would have happened to him, both mentally and physically, if he hadn’t rescued her that first day he landed on a foreign planet, injured, alone, struggling. Lance didn’t know at the time he signed up for a lifetime bond. He hadn’t a single idea what type of creature she was, she was in a form of a fox like creature mixed with an eagle, he didn’t know she could shift, it surprised him the first time she did, then he earned her trust apparently, and she chose him as her Amaa, his familiar, someone he was linked to but undeniably independent on her own. He learnt she was a telepathic creature, able to manipulate matter after telepathically connecting to, well, anyone, in order to change her form to her liking. Hell, she could transform into lance if she wanted. She was quite something, and he was lucky to have her.
Shiro finally began moving the cup slowly closer to his lips, first he leaned over to smell it, and when he deemed the smell not terrible, he slowly started to take a sip, Lance watched him through the corner of his eye.
Lance heard Shiro hum, seeming satisfied and surprised with the taste of the warm liquid he had just slowly began to consume, “wow, this is actually good” he spoke, his eyes still slightly wide as he stared at the liquid swishing in the weird Altean cup they used for hot liquids, he continued to gulp down the space tea, only slowing down when he realized the liquid was still too warm to drink too quickly.
Lance swears Shiro can be mistaken for an oversized child if not for his leader persona.
“I know right?” He let out a breathy chuckle as he now turned to watch Shiro who looked to be far less pale and more grounded (heh) than he was a few moments ago, he seemed pretty delighted now, almost gleeful.
“I used to have tea all the time back home” Lance can’t say he wasn’t surprised when he heard that statement leaving Shiro’s lips, he tried not to show his surprise, Shiro was the only one of the paladins to never really speak of earth as the other paladins have.
Even Keith, emo mullet man Keith, talked about earth, how he missed his shack and chocolate ice cream.
Shiro would always listen to their conversations, he would never really input anything of his own, but he would agree with the others on missing the things they were talking about. It was just a small thing Lance has noticed about him.
“Please don’t tell me tea is what you miss most about earth” Lance pleaded jokingly towards Shiro. The latter let out a small breathy chuckle, the sound barely making it past his lips.
“It makes me sound old when I say it huh?” Shiro started to snicker, and Lance couldn’t help the warm feeling he got in his chest. If all else failed tonight, at least he amused Shiro about something lame, if only for a tick, specially at a moment where Shiro was obviously not in a good head space. It made Lance feel good, he liked helping his friends.
“Nahh dude, you start missing the weirdest shit when you’re out in space” Lance let out a breath, “I used to miss the sound my fan used to make back home, used to hate it then.”
He rolled his eyes at himself, of course he used to hate it, there were a lot of things Lance realized he wished he appreciated more back then. He didn’t bother mentioning the reason he missed the sound was because the quiet in this ship used to bother Lance back then when he first got here.
It was hard to get used to the dead silence and loneliness that came with being in space, and in a spaceship which made nearly zero sound, you would think after 10,000 years you would at least hear a little grumble here and there, but it seems Altean technology is just absolutely beyond.
Lance took another small sip of his space tea.
“Yeah-” Shiro let the word trail off at the end, when Lance turned to him again, he saw him staring straight ahead, his cup still in his hands held close to his chest.
Lance didn’t want to ask, he really didn’t, because he knew, but he also knew even if he asked what Shiro would say. But he did anyway. He needed to get this conversation going, the tea was slowly starting to finish and that’s currently the only thing he has to keep Shiro here.
“Shiro?” Lances voice was quiet, far quieter than usual, his tone turned purposefully soft, open, he needs to talk to him. He needs to let him know someone is here for him. Lance understands. Probably better than anyone on this ship.
Shiro snapped out of whatever memory he thought of, it was obvious he didn’t feel like continuing this conversation.
It made Lance back out a little, he decided he would ease into it instead, “What do you miss most about earth?” Shiro’s eyes finally found lances, and he shrugged his shoulders lightly.
“Strawberry custard cake” the smile he let grace his face barely reached his eyes. Lance smiled back, “other than food” he clarified.
Shiro didn’t look away yet, seeming to actually think about an answer, “uhh, I don’t know” he finally answered after a few ticks of silence.
“It’s okay to admit you miss real things about earth, you know” lances voice was sweet and soft, but his words held a seriousness to them, and the atmosphere around them shifted. As did his leader.
“I know that” Shiro replied, he hadn’t broken eye contact now, there was a hint of confusion in his eyes, it was like he was trying to figure out where Lance was going with this.
“You never talk about it” Lance shrugged, finally turning his head away from Shiro, his eyes scan the Altean kitchen around him. Lance couldn’t analyze Shiros body language now. “About earth, I mean.”
“There isn’t really much to talk about” there was a real-ness to his words, a hint of sadness. If Lance wasn’t sure this was real, he would’ve thought it was a weird fever dream, Shiro wasn’t one to answer in the way he did. Lance is certain Shiro wouldn’t say this to any of the others.
Lance understood the hurt, not wanting to think of home because after so long, a part of you doesn’t believe you’ll actually make it back. There’s no point of thinking of something that will only upset you further. Lance doesn’t want to think about the fact that he can’t seem to remember his siblings faces like he used to. It was harder and harder to remember, and ultimately it was getting easier to let go. That scared Lance more than anything.
For the rest of the team, they had only been in space for possibly 7-9 phoebes, but for lance, he had spent 3 deca-phoebes just in the weird pocket universe in between all realities, called Vrinkx, translated to the void, or the empty. That place had many names.
After the wormhole was corrupted, apparently all the paladins were separated and the castle and their residence were stuck in a time loop, shiro and keith were on the same desert planet, hunk on an underwater planet and pidge on a peaceful planet, lance somehow ended up in that horrible place where time moved very differently.
Lance pushed thoughts of that place away for now.
“Common dude, I’m sure there’s something you miss.”
Silence, only Shiros breathing could be heard in the kitchen, it wasn’t erratic at all. It was actually quiet. Not as quiet as lances, you wouldn’t be able to hear Lance unless he wanted you to. Another thing to thank the damned void for.
Finally, he heard Shiro sigh “I miss...” his voice was so low if it weren’t for the quiet around them Lance wouldn’t have been able to hear him. “Sunsets” he whispered willfully.
A part of Lance relaxed a little, this was progress, small progress, at least he was talking.
“I miss my hover bike” a breath, Lance turned to look at Shiro again, he wanted Shiro to know Lance was listening “I miss driving it through the mountains, and finding a spot to watch the sunset-” it seemed he wanted to say something else, but he cut himself short.
Lance nodded, and gave him what he hoped was a comforting smile. “And you said there wasn’t much” Lance gave a playful scoff.
Shiro smiled at that and rolled his eyes a little. He hummed. Lance wanted him to keep going. But was at a loss of how to keep him talking when he didn’t seem like he wanted to.
Maybe this is enough progress for today. He could keep doing this whenever he sees Shiro walking around. It takes time to heal, Lance knew it wouldn’t just happen overnight. He gue-
“I miss Adam” Lance was startled, he didn’t expect Shiro to keep going, he didn’t expect him to talk about Adam, he never talks about him. Ever. It’s a taboo subject no one brings up.
“He was the one I took to watch those sunsets, it was always a way for us to just, get out. A way to be away from the world for just a few minutes.” He listened, because Shiro was talking, he was talking. “Then when I met Keith, we started bringing him along after a while” Shiro didn’t hide the smile, it was a real nostalgic smile. “I miss that” he whispered. Shiro then turned to Lance and watched him a sad glint in his eyes.
“tell me about him” Lance leaned over the table a little, pressing his weight to his elbows. Shiro smiled, “you knew him” he answered and shook his head lightly.
Shiro was right, Lance did know Adam at the garrison, he was lances favorite teacher, and possibly his hero, he loved the guy. It didn’t hurt that Adam favored Lance amongst his class, and made it clear to Lance. When Lance would tell him he can’t just say that, and ask him why he would just bluntly tell Lance that, Adam would shrug, give Lance an evil smirk, look him straight in the eye and say, “no one would believe you if you told them.”
Lance let out a small laugh, “I did, but not in the way you did” Lance shrugged, “besides, I would love to have blackmail material on that man, can you imagine his face when we get back and I use that shit against him?” Lance snickered just thinking about how fun it would be to give Adam a taste of his own medicine.
Lance was also aware of his wording, he said when, not if, he believes they will make it back one day, he doesn’t know when, but he knows that things always turn out in the end. Sure the journey could be battering, but all Lance has left to do is hope. He lost his hope at one point, but he got it back, and he won’t lost it again.
“It would be pretty funny” the atmosphere went back to being more light, less serious than it was a minute ago. “Maybe some other time, I have a bunch of stories that might be of use to you.” Shiro continued to laugh, shaking his head slightly, Lance joined him, their laughter didn’t last long though.
“I just hope he’s okay” he whispered, looking away now. He moved to take a sip of the tea again only to realize his glass was empty, Lance got up, grabbing Shiro’s empty glass and lances cold one and began making another cup.
“I know he is” Lance said, his back was to Shiro now, “He’s a badass, Shiro. You sure know how to pick em”
Shiro didnt say anything, and Lance turned his head to look at Shiro over his shoulder, “what is it?” Lance asked curiously.
“It’s nothing” Shiro was shutting down again, Lance sighed, and wondered if Lance was this stubborn before he began learning to heal.
“I can tell there’s something bothering you” Lance spoke simply, waiting for the water to heat before beginning to pour it into the cups with the weird packet of the space tea.
“Don’t worry about it Lance” Shiro was using his leader voice.
Lance let out a small laugh, “I can’t help but worry, I always worry” he shrugged, turning back to Shiro to give him the cup again, he then returned to lean back on the counter.
Shiro frowned at that, “I’m pretty sure you’re the least to worry among us” then Shiro seemed to hear what he was saying, thinking Lance might take it the wrong, “I mean that, you’re pretty laid back, you go with what happens, you know?”
Lance rolled his eyes, “I know, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry” he shrugged, “if I don’t, I wouldn’t be here right now” Lance stated simply, slowly moving his hand under his jacket to pat a stirring Laila.
Shiro seemed to think about that for a moment, “so you’re only sitting with me because you’re worried about me?” He asked Lance, his curious eyes finding lance again.
Lance noticed the difference in the way Shiro looked at him since he returned from the void a few phoebes ago, it was pretty obvious to the team how much lance has changed and grown, lance didn’t think it was necessarily bad, but he noticed the glances he would get from them when he would do something they don’t expect, or not make a joke he would’ve made when he was younger, then the realization would dawn on them that he spent 3 deca-phoebes away from them.
It was a lot to take in, a lot to get used to, on both sides. Lance thankfully didn’t physically look as different, sure he grew some muscle mass, got a few scars and grew a few inches, but time was weird in the void, his facial features were the same. His actions were different though, he knew he was more confident in his abilities, more stoic when he needs to be, and it took effort to be talkative, he got used to the quiet.
“I’m sitting with you because you’re my friend” Lance rolled his eyes. “And I care about you” he went on.
And Shiro definitely noticed the way lance held himself, the way his muscles would tense when someone would reach out to him, the way his shoulders and back would straighten when he walked, the lack of remorse when he would snipe down a Galran soldier without batting an eye.
“And because Adam would beat my ass if I let anything happen to you” Lance smirked, now that Shiro brought Adam up, Lance felt it wasn’t so taboo to mention him every once in a while.
And Shiro surely noticed the way lance held back on somethings with the team, the same way Shiro did. Lance thinks this is why Shiro speaks more freely with lance compared to the others, more freely but still not as much.
Shiro scoffed, “you don’t need to worry about me Lance.”
“Again, can’t help it.”
“Besides, you have nothing to worry about.”
“Actually I do.”
Now Shiro turned to him. “What do you mean?”
Lance braced himself, it’s now or never “you don’t sleep” Lance stated simply. Shiro frowned.
“I sleep.”
“Really? How much sleep do you get per day” Lance watched Shiro, he was determined now. Shiro looked away, unintentionally answering lances question.
“Exactly, and it’s been worse than usual this week, hasn’t it?” Lance asked him. Leaning a little closer to Shiro, there was still the same distance between them.
Shiro didn’t say anything. He seemed a little surprised, perhaps because Lance noticed. Then he just placed his cup down and tapped his human fingers against the cup at an unknown rhythm, Lance patiently waited.
“I forget sometimes how much you’ve grown” he mumbled to himself quietly, “It’s just been a tiring week.” Shiro spoke to lance this time, shrugging his shoulders. Lance couldn’t help but let out a sigh, “Lance, I get it’s annoying for me to tell you to not worry, but seriously, you don’t have to worry about me” he turned to Lance fully now.
“I’m your leader, I can take care of myself. Just like I trust that you’re taking care of yourself.” He continued.
“Just because you’re our leader doesn’t mean we can’t be there for you” lances voice felt like it echoed into the silence, it felt like the kitchen dimmed further even though Lance was certain the setting is still the same, Shiro shifted in his seat. “Think of it like this” Lance began.
“If any of us, let’s say Keith, was in your position, how would you reply to him if he said to you what you just said to me?” Lance asked Shiro and watched him as his face contorted into a determined glare at his glass, he seemed to be thinking about what Lance was saying, and Lance was glad.
“You wouldn’t let them, would you? You would probably tie Keith down to his bed and revoke all his training rights.” Lance scoffed light heartedly.
“How would you feel when someone you cared about was obviously hurting. And they would refuse to even admit it” Lance didn’t stop, he continued going, he needed Shiro to hear this, “we care about you Shiro, we are your friends, and we all want what’s best for you, if you are having trouble sleeping, we want you to trust us, as your friends, to let us help.”
“I can’t Lance.” Shiros voice was so low, so sad it hurt Lance to his core.
“Can’t? Or won’t?”
“I can’t.” He turned his eyes to Lance. And Lance was determined to return his stare, waiting for him to elaborate, “I can’t talk about this with them, I j-just, I can’t Lance” his hand left the cup and he began pulling them through his hair, pulling slightly at the root.
“You can’t ask for help?”
“I can’t talk about it. It’s not easy, and- and I don’t remember m-most of it anyways.”
“Shiro, I’m not telling you to talk to us.” Lance began moving closer towards Shiro, trying to convey and be a comforting presence the man needed right now.
“What?” Shiro was confused, “b-“
“You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to Shiro, I’m not asking you to do that, and none of the others will either. I’m asking you to at least let us help. In any way that we can, whichever way that makes you comfortable.” Lance reached his hand out, careful not to touch Shiro until he noticed lances hand, when Shiro didn’t flinch, Lance gently placed his hand on Shiros shoulder.
“I’m asking you to understand, that you are not alone.” Lances voice was low, quiet, Shiros brows scrunched and his hands loosened from tugging his hair.
“You are allowed to seek out your teammates when you feel like you don’t want to be alone, you are allowed to ask us for help, you are allowed to not tell us why either, Shirogane, you are allowed to feel shitty about yourself, just because you’re our leader it doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to hang out with us, or come to us if you need us. You’re allowed to have panic attacks, you are allowed to have nightmares, it’s not your fault, and you can’t beat yourself up on it.” Lances hands moved towards Shiros which are laced through his short hair, slowly trying to untangle them and pull them away from his hair.
“You’re allowed to take a break if you need it, your feelings are valid, do you hear me?” Lance needed to make sure Shiro heard him, that Shiro was understanding and processing what Lance was saying, Shiro gave a short half nod. “Your feelings are valid.” Lance managed to force Shiros hands away from his hair, only to notice how shaky his hands have gotten.
“If you ever, at any time of day, need any type of company, no questions asked, I’m here.” Lance whispered gently, moving his hands back on Shiros back.
“Even if you just want to read your mission report or whatever, but don’t want to do it alone, my door is always open. Including, at night. If you just need to make sure someone is there, or someone to have weird space tea with in the middle of the night cycle in a scarily dim kitchen, you can always wake me up AH! yes! Don’t give me that look, Sleep is not a problem for me, you won’t be disturbing my sleep at all!” Lance gave Shiro a stern look and a playful glare.
“Am I understood?” Lance finished his little ramble, hoping with all his might that he managed to convey his message to Shiro. And hoping that Shiro would at least think about it.
It took a while this time, but Shiro finally gave another short nod, his lips lifting into a smile, he paused for a second, his eyes scanning Lance, “it’s scary how much you’ve grown” Lance had to strain to hear shiros words.
“If I hadn’t, something would be extremely wrong with me.” Lance shrugged, giving his signature finger guns with one hand, and patting shiros back lightly with the other.
“So, let me ask you this.” It was time for lances test. “Are you okay?” His tone changed, it was quieter, conveying more comfort.
Shiro paused, taking his time to consider his answer. “I haven’t been sleeping.” He finally let out, and Lance let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
He nodded to Shiro, “and you just started your first step in healing, admitting something is wrong” he smiled softly at Shiro. “Now, what next?”
“I want to try getting some more sleep.” Shiro smiled softly, he stopped before hesitating and continuing, “thank you, for doing this for me Lance.” He pointed at the tea, and between Lance and him vaguely. “I guess, I needed to hear that, you were right about me needing to ask for help, or reaching out, I don’t think I would have even considered it if you didn’t talk to me about it...” he trailed off sheepishly.
“No worries Shiro.” Lance smiled warmly at him, moving to give him some space to think, but before he could move, Shiro reached out and grabbed lances wrist, he then opened his mouth, then closed it, seeming like he was trying to find the words, then after a few minutes of this concentrated deliberation, he finally spoke, in the most vulnerable and unsure voice Lance has ever heard come from shiro.
“You said I can ask...” he trailed off, his eyes moved determinately to his lap, “is.. is it okay if-” he seemed frustrated, and Lance waited for him, let him form the words he needed in his own time. Lance was in no rush.
He took a deep breath then, and immediately said in the same exhale, “canihaveahug?” Lance felt giddy, he was beyond amused with his leaders antics, he can’t believe the great Takashi Shirogane, ace pilot, was too shy to ask for a hug.
Lance didn’t bother replying, he just moved to wrap his hands around Shiros shoulders, and guiding him closer to Lance and into a friendly hug. Shiro tensed for a moment, but immediately reciprocated. And when he did, he hugged Lance tightly, and hurried his face in lances shoulder, and comfortably patted his back, not saying a word in fear he might make shiro feel uncomfortable.
The hug lasted for a good while, Lance was unsure of the exact time, but it felt comfortable, he didn’t mind staying like this until shiro would pull away.
This was what Lance was good at, being there for his friends, for people, he believed that even if a lot of bad happened to him, at the very least he got something out of it, he could understand, he could relate to weird difficult situations. Lance was always good at reading people, interacting with them, befriending with them. He likes to think this is just another thing helping him in this department.
Shiro slowly began pulling away, and Lance noticed the way his shoulders completely drooped, there was almost not a hint of tension on his shoulders, and sure, it might return tomorrow, but at least for tonight, Lance did something to help.
For tonight, shiro would get some actual honest to god sleep.
And that’s all that mattered.
“wait” he paused, Shiro turned to look at lance with an amused glint in his eyes and a smirk on his lips, “did you call me Shirogane?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Lance playfully pushed him away and huffed, “No” he lied. Lance could hear Shiros little muffled chuckle and he turned back to look at him, “you totally did.”
“shut up, I got really into it okay?” and Shiro lost it, his laugh growing in volume as lance rolled his eyes and swatted at Shiros hand, joining him in his laugher. When it died down, shiro turned to lance and gave him a playful shove.
“Goodnight Lance.” He smiled softly, his eyes twinkled slightly, and there was a hint of tiredness in his body language.
“Goodnight, fearless leader.” Lance sent him off with a wink and a wave.
The next morning, when the team met for breakfast, Shiro was the last to arrive, an actual 6 doboshes and 29 ticks late, his hair disheveled and a honest satisfied smile on his face as he greeted his starstruck mouth gaping wide eyed team a good morning, Lance was the first to return his greeting, sending his a full toothy grin, surprised to see Shiro returning it with a wink of his own.
Yeah, it is times like these Lance doesn’t regret what happened to him.