Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Young master.”

Upon waking up, Peko kept calling him this. It was annoying, but it didn’t seem like correcting her would give anything resembling results.

“Young master?”

Peko repeated, noticing that Fuyuhiko was staring at her without giving any answer. He sighed. A battle of tense looks and uncomfortable silence with her was not one he could ever win.

“Call me Fuyuhiko, and you don’t need to get a verbal approval to speak with me whenever you want.” Fuyuhiko tried to make his voice stern, but gentle, resembling the tone in which a teacher speaks with his student rather than that of a boss instructing his subordinates, but instead he was sounding just irritated and angry.

Peko pursed her lip, her face getting strained like she really, really didn’t like what she was hearing. But she didn’t argue. “I wanted to ask you if I can go and hang out with Gundham, Young Master. Being near his animals really gets me in the right mind to start my sword practice.” Her face relaxed again as she began to talk. No matter how much she tried to make her voice sound neutral and professional, Fuyuhiko couldn’t help but notice a slight hint of impatience, and excitement. She really, really wanted to hang out with Gundham – or probably rather with his hamsters – and realizing this suddenly made Fuyuhiko feel something warm and pleasant inside his chest.

Sadly, this something was not enough to make the anger in his voice fade. “You don’t need to ask that either, Peko. Go and hang out with whoever the fuck you want. You can abandon your sword training altogether and play with animals all day for all shits I give. You can even not speak to me at all if it makes you happy.” Fuyuhiko sighed. He tried to convince himself it was just because he didn’t have enough air in his lungs after such a long speech and was not genuinely mad at Peko, but…

Peko seemed to disagree.

“Did I do something wrong, Young Master?” she asked, and for a second Fuyuhiko could swear there was something resembling fear on her perfectly straight and calm face.

“No.” His answer was immediate and probably overly sharp. Actually, he probably should have said yes, because he was “Young Master” for her yet again, but he involuntarily made peace with the fact that this habit of hers wasn’t going away any time soon.

“Do you want me to leave? Am I too useless for you…?”

“No, Peko, you got it so totally fucking wrong! I value you, as my friend, colleague and classmate and shit. I just want you do whatever the fuck you want because you really want it – not because you’re a tool and feel obligated, and all this bullshit!” Fuyuhiko managed not to yell at her, but now he felt like someone who was trying to explain quantum physics to a kindergartener. He had repeated those words – or similar ones – again, and again, and again, but they just didn’t seem to reach Peko’s mind, no matter how simple and straight he made them.

“That’s not what I was taught,” Peko answered, bluntly.

Fuyuhiko barely could restrain himself form letting out a frustrated groan.

“So, Young Master–“

“Taught by who, Peko?” His question sounded… unnecessarily dramatic, but there was nothing he could do about that. “By Pekoyamas? By Kuzuryus? By a bunch of long dead people none of whom ever gave a slightest fuck about either you or me, and just tried to set us up into the relationships that would be the most convenient for them? Who are you fighting for, Peko? I’m tired of enduring it when you pretend you’re fighting for me.” His voice grew low, but it didn’t take away any bit of hot, bitter anger oozing from every word.

Peko didn’t seem to be able to process it.

“I want you to be you, Peko. To enjoy what you truly enjoy, do what you truly want to do. If that includes being my partner – my companion, and my friend – then nothing would make me happier. But I don’t want a tool. I never needed a tool. I said that earlier and I will repeat it again until you understand.” Fuyuhiko didn’t really hold much hope that his words would finally break through the ice hardened by years of Peko’s strict training and inhumane methods of raising that the Kuzuryu family subjected her to. But he had to say it anyway – if not for her, then for himself.

“I am sorry, Young Master…” Peko really did seem like she was sorry. But Fuyuhiko suspected it was for the entirely wrong reason.

It’s tragic when children fight their parents’ wars, some smart person once said. Led into fights by forgotten causes and tempted by prizes that lost their value long ago – those truly cause nothing but suffering.

Peko was fighting this kind of war. On two fronts – against Kuzuryu family, and against her own parents that left her on the street with nothing but an old bamboo sword to keep her warm and protected. Perhaps that sword saved her life – by helping the clan see her hidden potential – but it also ruined it, and turned her into someone she never wanted to be.

“I think you should go play with those hamsters, Peko. Clearing your mind before training is nice.”

Peko didn’t seem to expect such a sudden return to her question, and it took a few seconds for her to process the answer.

“Yes, Young Master.”

This really was a war; a war for her very life and soul, and it didn’t seem like she had the power to put up any resistance alone. But that was fine. Fuyuhiko was with her.

And Fuyuhiko wasn’t intending to give up or run – just to take a strategic retreat to rest and gather some more mental strength.