Chapter Text
Thursday, 9:14 p.m.
Sirius took a long drag of the spliff. It was hot inside the bathroom, and outside wasn’t much cool either. The huddle of dancing and drunk teens outside was overwhelming enough to make his head throb with pain and he couldn’t deal with that right now. His worries gave him a headache already. Sirius wanted to get high enough to distract himself from them. A lot had happened in the past months. In my life, more like.
Sirius had been planning to tell his best friend James that he intended to move out of his house. He was extremely grateful to the Potters for letting him stay at their home, providing him food, water and treating him like their own son. God, I’ll miss them. He had run away from his house almost a month ago already and had gone straight to James. Euphemia and Fleamont did not even hesitate to let him in when he arrived, all wet, beaten up and disowned from his family. Since then, they have been his parents, his protectors, and his bond with James only grew stronger. ‘ You’re my brother Sirius, I'll do anything for you, just say the word’ .
Sirius knew he couldn’t stay long. He knew the Potters never had troubles with money and did not struggle to maintain two teenage boys. Still, Sirius thought he had depended on them far too much since he arrived. Even before, when Sirius came clean to James and told him about his family of nutters, years prior. They could not take care of him for the rest of his life. And what better time to move than right now, almost a month before his 17th birthday. He had been lucky too. Sirius found a really good place that was relatively cheap and came with great company. His friend Lily Evans had introduced him to Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes at a reunion she had for her birthday, and he got along well with the two of them. They were renting an extra room in their place and informed Sirius that some people had been interested in it, so he had to make a decision quickly.
Somehow the universe had blessed Sirius when one of his uncles passed away after he ran away. Sirius felt bad for calling it a blessing, but it had been great timing. His uncle Alphard was not like most of his family and liked Sirius. They weren’t that close, but he was the one relative he didn’t despise, along with another cousin. The three of them were hated by their families for their difference of thinking. That was, not being narrow-minded bigots who were disgusted by anyone who wasn’t rich. His uncle defended him after running away, and the family didn’t like that, disowning him as well.
Unfortunately, he passed away three weeks after. Alphard had had heart problems since Sirius was a child and it was only a matter of time before it gave out. Sirius remembered not knowing if he should feel sad and cry, or if it was okay when he felt numb at the news. Again, they weren’t close, yet it felt odd. The blessing came when Sirius discovered his uncle left a decent amount of money in his will to him. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to pay for the room he had been offered. It felt like a sign to Sirius and convinced him to move out.
He just had to find a way to tell his bespectacled friend. He wasn’t going to be sad that they were going their separate ways. They were best friends and saw each other every day in school. But James was overprotective of him when it came to his family, and he was certainly going to be uncomfortable letting Sirius go live somewhere his parents could reach him, and there was no one to protect him.
He was brought back from his thoughts when his phone rang. He saw multiple messages from Marlene:
(9:16) There’s a bloke about our age that wants it badly, will you take the room or not?
(9:17) Don’t wanna pressure you but we need an answer by tomorrow.
(9:17) We might give it to this bloke if you want out.
He bit his lip. It was practically already decided, the only reason why he had not made it official was because of James. They needed an answer by tomorrow, and Sirius was sure it would be impossible to find some other place with a good offer like this one. He started typing.
( 9:19) DON’T
(9:19) I want it. I am officially your roomie :) sorry to the guy tho
“Oi, who are you texting so much, mate?” Sirius was startled by none other than James. He gulped, trying to come up with an excuse.
“Oh, er, no one important Jamesie. Just my other messy hair best friend who I live with.”
“Shove off,” James hit him with his elbow. “And please, do not call me Jamesie.”
Sirius tried to hit him back, but there was little space. No space, actually. He, James, Peter Pettigrew and Frank Longbottom were squished in a bathtub. The music was loud outside and they could hear everyone singing loudly. They weren't in the mood to dance and get pissed, so they had settled for smoking in the tub, away from the party.
“As I was saying before being interrupted,” Frank looked pointedly at James and Sirius. “I’m sure Carla knew what she was doing when she came here with that tight skirt.” Sirius tried to look like had an idea of what they were talking about, which he didn’t.
“Totally. She and Lisa are the hottest girls of their year. Very shaggable,” added Peter. Sirius smirked down at his hands because of course, that’s what they were talking about .
“That’s true, but…” James exhaled a puff of smoke. “Lily Evans still has the best arse of all the girls. I die a little every time she wears those specific black jeans,” he sighed dreamily.
“God, James, when will you get over her?” laughed Frank. “There are countless other birds who would gladly take you. Like Melissa.”
“She is pretty sexy. Bet she is a great shag,” they all nodded in agreement.
“Nah, she’s not all that,” Sirius decided to finally join in the conversation. “I mean, she’s good looking, but not all that. None of the girls you said, really. You guys just have no standards.”
“Woah, Woah, where's this coming from, mate?” Frank nudged him with his hip. Or tried, with the limited space they had. “We know you drive all the girls crazy with your long black hair and stormy grey eyes ,” he said with a bad impression of a girl, his voice an octave higher, and with a flirtatious smile. Sirius rolled his eyes at him. “But there has to be one that you would like to snog with, eh?”
He was embarrassed by how hard he had to think of one, just one , that he really, truly wanted to snog. He had had this problem before. He imagined Carla and Melissa. They were pretty, no doubt. But nothing about them made Sirius understand why his friends were mesmerized by them. Sirius often wondered why he had such high standards when it came to girls.
“There is one,” he remembered. Her name was Josie if he recalled correctly. He had seen her in school, she was a year younger. ”Has a septum piercing and brown short hair. Ring a bell?” He noticed that Peter was looking at him with an amused smile.
“There’s no way she would go for you mate,” he said. “Her last boyfriend was tall and I’m pretty sure he was a sports model,” Frank and James snorted with this. Sirius couldn’t help feeling a little relieved. She was pretty, undoubtedly, but snogging her? Sirius wasn't thrilled. At least he wouldn’t have to do it knowing he had no chances anyway. He wasn’t going to let his friends know that though. As far as they knew, Sirius Black was smooth and never backed out from a challenge.
“I could definitely get her to snog me,” he said, smirking. Okay, Sirius wasn’t that narcissistic, but he knew he was good looking. It ran in the family, surprisingly, considering all the inbreeding. The Blacks had elegant faces with defined features and shiny black hair, always perfectly cut. Sirius, being himself, liked to rebel against his family’s traditions, letting his hair grow and fall gracefully to his shoulders. He wasn’t so tall but had broad shoulders and a good physique. He also went all out with his clothes, wearing black ripped jeans and tight shirts. He noticed when girls eyed him and giggled to themselves whenever he was feeling himself and winked at them. Even flirted a bit, waiting for the right girl to catch his eye. And yet...
As if the fates were listening to their conversations, the door opened and a girl made her way to the mirror and started checking her reflection, completely ignoring the four boys. They looked at each other with smirks and wiggled their eyebrows at Sirius. It was Josie.
The people want a show, give them what they want, Sirius. “You know guys, I want to get a piercing. What do you think, eh?” he started, his voice confident and loud enough for Josie to hear. “I’m thinking one in the ear lobe. That or one in the nose.” Jackpot .
Josie was listening now. He noticed her staring at him through the mirror, interested in what he was saying. “Not one in the septum thought,” he shook his head, huffing. “No, that’s not attractive at all. Makes people look like bulls.” Frank choked on his joint, and Peter and James sniggered. Sirius noticed Josie’s mouth fall open and narrow her eyes.
“Oh! Sorry, I didn't notice you had one,” Sirius said directly to Josie, who turned around and was facing him. “That’s awkward,” he said to his friends and smirked at their questioning looks. Josie scoffed in annoyance and rolled her eyes.
“Hey, I'm only kidding. Yours looks good I swear. I get nervous around pretty girls and say shit like that.” Sirius wanted to laugh at how his friends were watching him with wide eyes. “You know you’re really pretty. Want some?” he offered his joint. Josie grabbed it and sucked, trying and failing to hide the pleasure of the compliment. Girls are another breed. He thought after wondering how she went from annoyed to flustered with one compliment.
“Someone told me you guys have stronger stuff, is it true?” she asked all of them, but her eyes were on Sirius.
“Hold on,” he stood up from the tub and reached the cabinets from the sink. He found a few pills there, “Ah, yeah.” He looked at her through his eyelashes while getting a pill out. They stared at each other for a moment before Sirius popped a pill out and placed it on his tongue, looking at her expectantly. She did not hesitate before smiling and cupping his face, kissing him fiercely.
Are you watching this Peter? She snogged strongly, her tongue all over his, the pill passing from one mouth to another. It was nice, he thought. But it was even better hearing his friends huff in disbelief, getting up from the tub and leaving Sirius alone with Josie. The kiss became sloppy quickly with their mouths opening to deepen the kiss. Josie left his mouth and placed wet kisses all over his neck. Sirius didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he placed them at his sides. He felt embarrassed, attacked by Josie while he stood still like a royal guard. Thank god those shitheads aren’t here to see.
Josie was unaware apparently, and she seemed to be enjoying this far more than Sirius. Gasping and running his hands through Sirius, so enthusiastic about this. While Sirius’ mind was partly on her and mostly on how weird and sticky her lip gloss felt against him. Josie started to lower her hands to his trousers, pulling them down and getting on her knees. Ah shit. Snogging was one thing. No one had ever gone down on him like that. She was starting to play with his underpants. Yeah, nope.
He backed two steps and managed to force an awkward laugh, “Er, wait...,” he felt suddenly nervous and exposed. “Er, I'm in the mood for a drink, aren’t you?” he quickly pulled his trousers on and smiled at her sheepishly. She got up, clearly disappointed and pissed.
“I could get a drink,” she said coldly and stepped out of the bathroom, not waiting for Sirius.
Shit . Sirius sighed. His mind was going wild and not because of the snogging. Josie was attractive and sexy. But his body didn’t seem to think so. James had told him multiple times about certain situations where Lily Evans yelling at him made him hard. Only yelling. Sirius assumed he might feel the same with a girl all over him, but his cock certainly refused. Maybe it also had high standards.
You and me both, mate.
He quickly realized who he was talking to and shook his head. He was about to head out when the door burst open, “Mate, we gotta run, some cops are here,” James said urgently.
“The cops? Why are they here?” he asked, but followed James through the crowd. Sure enough, he saw two policemen talking to the owners of the house.
“Music was too loud. Neighbours complained,” Why was James afraid of cops? Then he realized. Ah fuck . He ran his hands through his pocket and there was the bag with the weed that they smoked. The policemen were now walking inside the house, lurking around and asking people questions. Shite, shite, shite. He lost James somehow. He did the only thing that came to his mind. He took the bag out and dropped it on the floor discreetly, before walking away quickly. He saw James and followed him again until they were out through a back door. The wind was chilly and felt nice against his warm body. “C’mon mate, we can take my bike.”
They cycled a few blocks before stopping to catch their breath. “I was sure I was done for,” said James, and Sirius agreed. After a few beats of silence, James looked at him, “So… how was it?” he asked with a smirk on his face. Sirius’s mind took a while to realize what he was talking about. He forgot his friends had been there and were probably thinking he had the time of his life.
“Amazing,” he smiled amusedly. Liar.
----
Saturday, 6:36p.m.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE MOVING OUT!?”
Sirius rolled his eyes at James, who was grabbing him by his shoulders, “James”
“DON’T ‘JAMES’ ME! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE MOVING OUT?!” he was throwing his arms like a mad man, and Sirius found it amusing. Sirius had just told James about his plans. He thought it was a joke at first, then he exploded.
“Aw, James.” he pouted and clasped his hands together in delight, “I didn’t know you loved me that much.” James was staring at him horrified.
“YES, YOU DID ARSEHOLE! YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU KNOW WHY I’M MAKING SUCH A FUSS OUT OF THIS!” Sirius immediately dropped the silly tone he used and felt a rush of fondness for his best friend. It was true, Sirius knew James loved him since the moment they met when they were ickle little kids pulling pranks on their teachers. James closed his eyes and held his palms up, “Sirius, what do you mean you’re moving out?” he asked calmly, but Sirius knew one wrong word and he would explode again. He planned his next words carefully.
“Listen to me, James. I can’t depend on you and your parents forever, mate. You know that. I was so, so grateful when they let me stay here after running from home, for protecting me every time I thought my mother was on the doorstep. They have done so much for me. YOU have done so much for me. And this is the only way I’ll repay them, by leaving.”
James was silent a long time, staring at the floor with his eyebrows knit together. Sirius could practically hear his thoughts running. He opened his mouth to speak and closed it a few times, clearly wanting to say something but not knowing how to.
“James, we will still see each other every day, you know? We’ve been friends since forever and we won’t drift apart. Ever,” his tone was hard. He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince.
After more silence, James looked him in the eyes, his hazel eyes filled with worry behind his glasses. “They can get to you easier if you go.”
“What?” but he had an idea what James meant.
“What will happen if your mother goes for you and drags you by the hair?”
Sirius laughed, a shy bitter laugh. “Mate, it’s been a month, and my dear mummy said she never wanted to look at my face again. I don’t think she will come for me. As far as she’s concerned I’m not his son anymore, and I haven’t been since I left.” He saw James wince. It happened often when Sirius talked about his mother. Sirius knew James could never wrap his head around the fact that his own mother despised him. How could he? James grew with unconditional love from his parents, he would never understand.
“Where are you going?” James asked
“Remember Marlene and Dorcas? They have a place with an extra room they're renting.”
“Yeah, I remember them. They were nice,” he was still not fully convinced, Sirius could tell. “When did you decide? Do mum and dad know?”
“Yeah, I told them I had wanted to for a while. They were on board with it. Said they will miss their favourite child,” he added with a smile, hoping it would lighten James’s mood. It did. He smiled back. “And I decided about a day ago. I mean I had known for weeks, but it was made official yesterday. Uncle Alphard’s money also helped with the decision. Marlene and Dorcas are expecting me to come tomorrow.”
“Already?”
“I’m sorry James, I should have told you sooner, I didn’t know how you’d take it.” It was stupid really. Sirius knew James like the back of his hand. James never held grudges. The few times they fight, it was James who apologized first, even when he didn’t need to.
“Nah, I'm sorry. I'm overreacting.” he let out a big breath. “If you wanna do this, I'll respect it. Just know you won’t get rid of me that easily.”
“Bummer. It’s the real reason why I want out.” James scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“C’mon, I'll help you pack, wanker.” They relaxed to their usual selves and walked to the room Sirius used as his own, James laughing as Sirius struggled off from the headlock James had him in, messing his hair. “God, you’re so tiny!” joked James after letting Sirius go.
“No, you’re a fucking giant,” grumbled Sirius. He was right. James towered over Sirius for almost three inches, even though Sirius was of average height.
They started packing his things. Sirius realised there weren’t many. He flushed a few times when James told him to keep some of his shirts. He had forgotten how many of the ones he wore were James’s and not his. They went downstairs for one last dinner together, and it was wonderful. Euphemia’s cooking was splendid as ever, and they talked and laughed like it was just another day. Sirius acted embarrassed but was secretly pleased when Fleamont made a toast to him and ‘to the new chapter of his life.
It was a new chapter, but he was just moving out. After dinner, he laid awake, excited and nervous, but he didn’t know why. After all, nothing was going to change, not really. He was just moving out.
---
Sunday, 10:15a.m.
Sirius and James were having breakfast - ‘ Our last breakfast together Sirius! How tragic!’ . Sirius was leaving at midday and James was going to give him a ride to the apartment. He said he wanted to make sure Sirius didn’t end up in a dingy place in a shady neighbourhood, which houses probably had mattresses on the floor as beds and a cup for a toilet. James also told him to come back if he ever felt uncomfortable in any way in his new home, even though it was very unlikely. The only problem that was bugging Sirius was sharing an apartment with two girls. He imagined what it would be like living with some of the girls in school he considered friends. He was not very keen on those thoughts. Lily Evans was annoying sometimes, and she was sort of a control freak. There was also Alice, but she was shy and reserved. Mary McDonald was okay, but sometimes she was too girly. She always had makeup on and had begged Sirius multiple times to allow her to apply kohl on his eyelids. He knew Marlene though, and she wasn’t like any of them. She was cool and fun.
Sirius had met Marlene and Dorcas at a reunion Lily had for her birthday. They had been friends with Lily because she was a regular customer at the little coffee shop Marlene worked. Somehow they became close and were now friends. Sirius had been sort of tipsy when the story was told, he didn’t remember the details. He had learned some things about her and Dorcas while he was getting details about their home. They were best friends and had been since teenagers. They reminded Sirius of him and James a bit. I mean, best friends living together? They’re a girl version of us! He didn’t know Dorcas that well, but at least she was about to.
He spent the rest of the time he had left in the house with James, working on school work and talking until James said “It’s time mate, let’s go.” Euphemia gave him a tight hug with a kiss on his head and Fleamont smiled at him brightly and wished him good luck. They took Fleamont’s car and drove for ten minutes. Not so far from James’s . James seemed to read his mind, as he reminded Sirius that he could come back any time with how close it was. They arrived at a white building two stories high. It was nice looking, definitely did have toilets and beds. He had messaged Marlene earlier and she said she was coming down to help him. They waited a few minutes before the door opened and Marlene came out.
She was taller than Sirius, almost the same height as James. She had blond hair just above her shoulders, and blue eyes. She had a mature face, but her smile was welcoming. “Sirius! Hey! Let me help you with your things.” She carried a box containing Sirius’s clothes and went back inside. They got the boxes out of the car and placed them at the entrance of the building. Sirius was about to follow when James touched his shoulder.
“Mate, I have to get going,” he looked apologetically at Sirius, who just smiled and shrugged.
“It’s okay James, go. You did a lot already,” James smiled reassuringly.
“Good luck Sirius. Ah, I’ll miss you lots!” he hugged him sideways and placed a loud kiss on top of his head. Sirius laughed his big, bark-like laugh, the one he liked the most.
“Look at us, acting like a married couple, when I will see you tomorrow,” James patted his arm one more time before getting in the car and leaving. Let’s do this then.
--
Sunday, 4:10p.m.
“ Honeeey, I’m homeee ” Sirius heard Dorcas’ voice announce as the door opened. He was sitting on the couch. It was a very nice flat. It was on the second floor of the building. It was small and simple, with two rooms, one bathroom, a kitchen and a living room, and it looked even smaller thanks to all the decorations Marlene and Dorcas had plastered in every space, the walls barely visible.
The first thing that caught Sirius’s eyes was the number of plants there were. Small, simple plants were hanging from the ceiling and the walls. The walls were also decorated with handmade paintings. Some were random dribbles, some were detailed, and they were all over the place; the kitchen cabinets, the tables, the restroom. There was a big tapestry on the wall of the living room. Sirius had never been a fan of reading, but he assumed Marlene and Dorcas were because the living room was filled with bookshelves full of books and pictures. He also noticed the same little rectangle with horizontal coloured stripes of different shades of orange and pink and a white one in between. It probably meant something important, because there were a lot, in different places of the flat. It was a big difference from the Potter’s home, which was decorated neatly and orderly. Whereas here the decorations were all over the place, but it somehow worked.
“Oh, hey Sirius. How’ve you been?” Dorcas smiled at him. Sirius internally rolled his eyes at himself. He would never, ever say this out loud, but he was secretly amazed by everything about Dorcas. Ever since they met, he thought that Dorcas was, well, fucking cool . She was shorter than Sirius, but she made herself tall with her confidence and her presence. She had a nose ring and deep black eyes. He secretly loved Dorcas’ hair, which surprised even himself. He had never met anyone with hair as cool as his. It was long and black, styled in dreadlocks that suited her just right. Reminded Sirius of that one actress. “I see you have made yourself comfortable, eh?” she smirked, then went to the kitchen, calling for Marlene.
He considered for a while the probability of fancying Dorcas back when they first met. It kind of made sense. Dorcas had badass hair, she was badass, and maybe the fact that she was older interested Sirius. But he dismissed the probability when again, he imagined what it would be to snog her, and wasn’t into it. Sirius felt pathetic when he excused his non-existent desire to kiss a girl with mushy thoughts. ‘I just haven’t found The One’, or ‘ You will know she’s The One when you feel butterflies in your stomach.’ Downright pathetic.
But it made sense. What other reason was there?
A message on his phone snapped him from his thoughts. It was from Frank to the group chat he had with him, James and Peter:
(4:15) Hey, did any of you take the stash on Friday? Can’t find it.
Oh no. Sirius forgot it was Frank’s. He groaned to himself when James replied:
(9:17) Sirius has it. We managed to get out with it from the party.
Gotta go and open your bloody mouth, Potter . He didn’t know what Frank said after, as he turned off his phone, purposely not responding to any messages.
“Siriuusss,” Marlene called from the kitchen. “It's time for our very first dinner together as roommates,” she announced when Sirius entered the kitchen. He snorted when he saw pizza boxes on the kitchen table.
“Amazing first dinner Marlene. The kind you remember forever,” she stuck her tongue out at Sirius’s sarcastic remark. They sat down and ate. Turns out, living with two girls wasn’t half bad. Marlene and Dorcas were funny, they could talk for hours. And they did, long after they finished eating. They caught him up to speed quickly. Marlene was saving money for proper education on medicine, working at the Caffe. Dorcas had been in art school for a year now. He discovered that she was the one who did the sketches on the wall. Sirius talked about what he always did. His friends and school. What else in his life was a good topic of conversation? My unreal love life? My psycho, religious-crazy family? How the real reason I'm living with you is that I literally ran away from my home?
Later that night, Sirius realised how dull his life had been. He felt like something was missing. That everyone had something in their life to make it less boring. Something that made them happy of course. Being the disappointment in your family was far from boring, but not very gleeful. The night before, Fleamont had risen his glass for him and the new chapter of his life. And for a glorious moment, he believed it. He believed that this was the beginning of a new Sirius Black, of a new life. He felt stupid for thinking moving was going to change something, anything.
Because it didn't. I don't think anything will.