Chapter Text
It was incredibly obvious that something was not right as soon as they got to the next Floor and they had their own private room for the rest of the month.
Which struck him as odd, but as he glanced at Bam and saw his eyes were tight, shadowed in a way they hadn't been in a long time, Khun kept his mouth shut.
Getting to their space was a bit difficult, too. Bam had to support him as they went long distances down the hallway. Even if he drank as much as he thought, walking shouldn't feel like such a chore. Flopping onto the large King bed, he pursed his lips. "There's only one."
"Mm. Hwaryun got it for me."
"Ah. I guess it's nice that it's a King-size. We can be at opposite ends and be fine."
"Yeah."
Bam didn't sound like himself and it bothered him. "Are you alright? Are you feeling dizzy or anything from the smoke?" He shouldn't be drenched in soot from simply running outside. Had he tried to help others, as he usually did?
"I'm alright, Khun. I'm going to take a shower. Please rest, okay?" Bam called as he turned on his heel and disappeared into the ensuite bathroom.
Waving a hand to look at his Pocket easily confirmed his suspicion; it was a week and a day since he drank a drop of alcohol.
Bam really was a terrible liar…but why would he lie? To him no less? Where had that time gone? Khun decided to give Bam the benefit of the doubt. He seemed extremely upset about it, too, and he didn't want to poke at a wound better left alone.
That didn't mean Khun wouldn't do his research, especially with the sound of the shower turning on. First order of business was learning about the previous Floor.
That was where he got his first wave of deja vu.
This information…he had definitely read it before the party. Don't go into the forest. Those who did went missing for a month but there could be only one and Princesses were excluded. Anyone who came back had withdrawal symptoms but nothing said from what. Teams automatically passed if this happened.
So then why…?
What happened? Did Khun do that? What did Bam do ? Had he…started a forest fire to find him? Wouldn't surprise him in the slightest, if he was honest with himself.
He couldn't remember a damn thing and guessed it was the same circumstance the other Regulars went through.
'Better stop thinking about it before you ruin all his hard work, dumb fuck.'
Khun wrinkled his nose hearing the Firefish, 'Is that so?'
'Some things are better left alone .'
Strange that even the Firefish didn't want to talk. Reluctantly, Khun conceded and waved his lighthouse away. The message was clear. Leave it be.
Unfortunately for Bam, he was going to have to tell the others he knew the time was wrong. Bam must have told them to lie when he got into the bathroom.
What made him the most upset in the same conversation with Shibisu on his Pocket, he was told that Bam fought the Ranker, and then as they were all leaving through the warp they could smell the smoke and see it billowing in the distance. They had no idea what was going on. Shibisu didn't even know what the big deal was.
Which meant that the only one who did was currently taking his sweet time in the shower.
He really didn't want to do this. Confronting Bam could either lead to avoidance, denial, or straight up shutdown of any conversation. Still, he couldn't let this stand. Lying to him when things were so precarious? When their lives depended on cooperation? Khun wasn't going to let him get away with it so easily.
Going to the bathroom door, he tested the handle just to see if Bam had been frazzled enough to forget to lock it. A frown downturned his features when the door opened freely. Waving up a lighthouse, he gathered some spare clothes that were folded to use as his excuse if Bam poked his head out. Not that he needed an excuse since Bam's clothing had been filthy.
"Hey, Bam, I brought you some fresh-"
A quiet 'mmph' and a muffled whine.
He froze. Oh…that's why Bam had been taking so long. "Um…fresh clothes. I'll just leave them on the counter. We need to talk when…when you're done." Cheeks flaming, Khun hightailed it out, catching the tail end of a moaned 'thanks'. He did what he set out to do and that was what mattered.
Only problem was…he had to ignore how his own body decided to be a traitor. Never had he gotten so… stiff in his pants so quickly before. Khun was actually dizzy with it and there was something strange about his body. A warmth that had nothing to do with the Firefish accompanied by a tingling beneath his skin. His fingers especially. The heat pooled in the center of his torso and radiated . Gripping the doorway of the bedroom, he heaved frantic breaths and tried to calm down as his legs shook.
'This is something I can't flush from your system. You're stuck with the energy until it fades naturally. I can't believe he got you addicted …couldn't be the plant, it had to be the kid.'
Khun latched onto all of that information. 'What the fuck are you talking about?'
'I will burn you if you try to remember. Being addicted to him is nothing. Just takes time.'
Fantastic, the fish wasn't going to say anything else. Khun wanted to think he was screwed, but the innuendo only made him throb and he stumbled to the bed. No point in wanking one out when Bam was almost done. Addicted…withdrawal symptoms. A plant in the forest that got you addicted to it, that made…sense, he supposed. the pieces were falling into place, but Khun figured he would never have the full picture. Not with the Firefish threatening him and Bam freaking out enough to lie . Maybe Bam got addicted, too?
'Addicted to him '…did that mean…Bam?
Was he craving him and that was the reason for the burst of desire? Was this plant an aphrodisiac like taking ecstasy? That was…incredibly dangerous. No wonder Princesses were exempt.
Yet what…how he was addicted to… Bam , his memory was suppressed and this…buzzing couldn't be forcibly removed. Was it…that bad? Some sort of…sex pollen? Had Bam gone crazy and…or maybe it had been him?
His body shuddered at the thought of either way and he covered his mouth, forcing himself to calm his body with rolling chills of his ice. Who knew when Bam would step out and he was still going to talk to him.
So he sat, muscles sore and now he had an inkling as to why. Maybe in order to block his memories he had to be out for a few days. So it was a mixture of…the sex and being out of commission. Really, Khun had no idea how to process the fact he and Bam had fucked. By the looks of things it had barely been consensual. Khun hated that the most. Was Bam…
He didn't get to finish the thought process as he heard the bathroom door and Bam came out with a towel around his head. He was…also shirtless, but was wearing the pants, unbuttoned and hanging low on his hips.
Shit. So much for all his efforts. Still, he had to try.
"Bam." Those golden eyes flitted over and caught his, only to dart away, "Sorry for barging in without knocking, that was my mistake."
A deep flush covered Bam's face and Khun was fascinated by it and how it traveled down his neck and collarbone to the top of his chest. "I-it's fine. Um…thank you for the clothes. I'll put the shirt on when I'm more dry. Uh…y-you said we…need to talk." He was looking down at his feet and his toes were rubbing into the carpet.
Khun wanted to go to him, make him look at him, but standing wouldn't be good right now. "I know you lied to me. It was a pretty bad one, too. I also know you told the others to pretend because I talked to Shibisu. You fought another Ranker, Bam? Are you serious? Not only that, but the Box is blowing up about the fire on the last Floor. Did you really think I wouldn't find out?"
Bam was quiet, going from looking at the ground to the ceiling and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. A tension was in the air as he released it. The tingle in Khun's fingers made him start tapping them against his thigh. He didn't like how quiet Bam became.
"I figured it out, too. Something to do with the forest trapping people, right?" Khun tacked on.
What he wasn't expecting was Bam's attention to snap towards him and there was a frantic panic, "Don't!" He was crossing the distance to get in front of Khun, "Please don't remember! You can't! Let me-let me remember but please, don't-"
"If I hurt you, I'm sorry." Khun didn't like that reaction at all. His hand covered his mouth again and he looked away from him, "I'm surprised you even have us in the same apartment. I guessed it has to do with some sort of aphrodisiac, right? The Princesses are exempt so it has to do with sex or something of the sort. I…if I forced anything on you I'm sorry, Bam. If it was you, then…it's okay. If it was out of your control then it wasn't your fault."
"So you don't remember…anything?"
Khun chanced looking at him and was shocked by the tears falling down Bam's face, and even more so when Bam fell to his knees and…hugged him around the waist, burying his face in his stomach. "B-Bam?" He stammered, "Bam, what's going on? Talk to me."
"I almost lost you. I can't do that again. Please stop trying to remember. It was your fault-" Khun flinched but Bam held fast, "-but it wasn't what you think. You didn't hurt me…or you did, but not…like that."
Bam's babbling only confused him further. "If it hurts you so much…why do you still have your memories but I don't? Did…I have a bad reaction?"
Shaking his head, Bam sniffed, "I guess you could say that, but I kept mine because…if I have them suppressed I'll forget what you said." There was a little hiccup, "I don't want to forget what you told me, so I'll…I'll deal with it. It can be another nightmare, it's fine…"
"It's not, though…you're a mess, Bam. You said I didn't violate you, but…" he startled at a sudden snort from the brunet.
"If anyone violated anyone it was me to you…" Bam pulled back and wiped his face, "The situation was really weird, but I'm not going to get into it. I can't tell you. I won't." He gave him such a pleading expression, "You probably don't want to rest, but at least lay back on the bed and I'll make you coffee, okay?"
Khun watched him stand and turn around, but he reached out and caught his hand. Bam was surprised and Khun didn't really know what to say besides; "I don't hate you or anything, Bam. Whatever happened…I'm still here, okay?" He didn't want to bring up the addiction part, not in the face of that conversation. "Coffee would be great, thank you. I have to research this Floor's test and see what Isu's gathered."
His usual business seemed to calm Bam and tense shoulders dropped a little, "Right," he nodded, "You do that and I'll be right back."
This time, Khun let him slip free and walk away.
Khun didn't manage to make it another twelve hours.
The first night he ended up waking up sweating and throwing off the blankets he would usually be rolled up in. Just having his pajamas rubbing across his skin was setting off every nerve in his body and he was rock solid and squirming.
Bam had taken the couch even though Khun told him that he didn't have to. Khun was now glad for it, and tugged off the pjs as well.
It was his turn in the shower in the morning and first of all, he needed to get rid of this boner. If he didn't it would be incredibly difficult to talk to Bam. For safety measures he locked the door and he tried to keep it mechanical and get it done, he really did.
Unfortunately, he gave up after ten minutes and focused on rinsing the shampoo and started washing his body. For some fucked up reason he hadn't been able to get remotely close. Grumbling, he was innocently washing his ass when he brushed against his rim.
Sparks danced behind his eyelids and he thumped his chest against the shower wall with a hiss, spasming and doing it again before he could stop. The soap made it so easy and he moaned. He hoped to whatever holy being that existed that it was covered by the sound of the running water. Fuck! His eyes rolled back and he gripped himself, tugging his flesh as he pushed two slender fingers in. This wasn't a usual occurrence but at this point he simply wanted him and Bam to be in the same room as one another without feeling this tingling and desire to kiss him.
Ah, shit. Imagining being kissed by Bam had his mouth parting further and he whimpered, thrusting faster. Get it done!
Yet to spite his desperate pleas his mind conjured up some fantasies. Bam pressed to his back, large dick smooth as it slid in and out. "Bam…" he whispered unbidden and ground back into his hand. Kisses on his shoulder that felt so real. Bites to his neck, marking, claiming him. Khun's eyes rolled back, cock twitching in his hand. Not enough. "Bam…" A third finger.
Fireworks went off and he lost his footing, sliding down against the wall to his knees and he was needy for his release, his damp hair clinging to his cheeks. His vision was blurry, not registering the bathroom but instead it was someplace dark and protected. Bam was all around him. Holding him tightly and whispering nothing into his ear, teasing the shell of it, his nipples, stroking at his dick. "Bam…Bam…please, fuck, Bam…" he babbled, not thinking about how it was a bad idea to cry out that name. Gritting his teeth he whined as he swore he could feel the ghost of these touches he was imagining on his skin.
That tingling was at full force and he could feel it radiating in his whole body before it pooled at his lower abdomen and he throbbed hard, "Bam...I'm gunna...I feel you, fuck, I'm...BAM!" His whole body went rigid and his cum shot up, coating the wall in thick gobs and he slumped forward, fingers slipping out and he tried to catch his breath, disoriented and trying to make sense of where he was, what he was doing.
Khun came back to his body at the turning of the knob and then a nervous knock on the door. "K-Khun? You…okay?" Bam called.
Mind clear in his post-nut euphoria, Khun was quickly mortified. "Y-Yes, Bam! I'm fine. Did I wake you? S-Sorry. Um, I'll be right out in another five. Just gotta rinse the conditioner."
"That's fine. I'll make you coffee while I wait."
Getting back up on shaking legs, Khun hurried up and tried not to think about how this was reversed from yesterday and that Bam had likely orgasmed in this shower, too.
Had Bam been thinking of him?
Feeling a press of lips on the back of his neck did multiple things to Khun's heart and set off the tingles. That coupled with a mug placed on the coffee table made him wonder, not for the first time, what he had said to Bam that he had been forced to forget.
"W-What was that?" He asked, trying to keep his tone light. It was the evening of the second night and he hadn't felt the tingling since the shower this morning. Gingerly he took the mug, sighing at the warmth that seeped into his hands.
"I couldn't help myself." Bam answered just as quietly, as if trying not to disturb their fragile existence. It sounded familiar almost, too. Besides all this the second biggest oddity was not being near their team, planning and trying to survive. Hwaryun wouldn't put Bam in danger, not like this. "You're awfully fidgety with your clothes. Are you hot?"
"Hmm? I am? I hadn't…really noticed. I was really focused." Khun took stock of his body and how he felt. His hands being cold was nothing new, but now that Bam mentioned it, his clothes did feel restrictive and irritating. "I'm kinda warm. My clothes are just…uncomfortable, ever since I woke up."
"Hmm…I could give you a massage? To distract you maybe?" Bam offered, sounding hopeful.
Khun shook his head. "I'm alright with just the coffee, thank you, Bam."
He heard the dejected sigh behind him and wondered if that was the wrong choice. "I'm going to go out for a little bit, buy some things. I'll be back soon, and I'll be careful."
Khun pouted a little at him but shook his head, "Take care."
The thing was…being alone sucked.
This incessant buzzing through his veins had Khun in the bedroom by the time Bam got back and he was sweating in rivulets around his neck. He curled into the fetal position after hearing the door, not wanting Bam to see the state he was in below the belt. Everything was hazy and he whimpered, wanting to just strip everything off. Only being in his slacks wasn't good enough.
"Khun…oh Khun. I should've known." Bam's voice drifted to him and Khun heard the sound of a bag ruffling on the bedside table as it was set down. Gentle fingers brushed through his bangs and he leaned into the touch subconsciously. "I guess this is what withdrawal does…I don't know how to help."
"Withdrawal usually means I was addicted to something to begin with," bleary blue eyes peeked up at Bam, "The Firefish wasn't able to purge your energy." The fingers stilled and Bam looked stricken, "I'm addicted to you, aren't I? Because of what we did?" He grasped Bam's wrist when he tried to pull away, "Don't leave me, Bam…"
"I-Isn't that the worst things to do with addiction? Feed into it?" Bam's breathing wasn't as smooth as it had been a second ago. "I should go, give you more privacy and you can ride this out."
"Since when were you the voice of reason?" Khun frowned deeply.
"What do you think I did for seven years and then another two when you slept? Just follow orders? I was also a part of Sweet'n'Sour for two of those seven." Bam snapped, "You don't…actually want this. Which is fine. You know Hwaryun got us this place so you'd have a safe space to come out of withdrawal without being bothered by anyone."
"Well that's awfully generous of her, but why have you near me at all then?!" Khun sat up to glare at Bam properly, "You don't have to push those things into my face. I'm very much aware of my fuckups and how I failed you!"
"Khun, that's not what I was saying-"
"Well that's how it sounded! What else am I supposed to feel when you say things like that?! Or should I just keep my mouth shut?!"
"Khun, stop-"
"You think I don't want this, do you?! You think I'll come out of this like I would if I was drunk and everything will go back to normal?!" Khun's hands tossed into the air, "What if I'm already fucking sober, Bam?!"
He wasn't expecting to be grabbed by the back of his neck, but soft lips crashed into his. All he was able to do was give a little 'mmph', but it was already over, leaving him dazed and blinking.
"You don't want this." Bam muttered as he pushed Khun away and moved to stand.
"Why you little-" Khun could be vicious if he so desired in multiple ways. With a harsh growl he grabbed Bam by his shirt, yanking him back down so hard and fast Bam lost his balance. He bit down on Bam's lower lip and got him to gasp, then shoved his tongue into his mouth while swinging his leg over, pinning him to the bed. By the Tower their hands were scrambling all over each other, grabbing hair and Bam's fingers scraped across his skin, ripping out an honest to God moan from Khun's throat. Bam answered back right into their connected mouths and their tongues swirled together in a dance that felt familiar and hungry.
Down below they were grinding and Khun's fingers worked to get at least Bam's top half as naked as his own, ruffling his hair in the process and he looked so good all disheveled. Khun was a bit mesmerized by the speedy rise and fall of Bam's chest that he ran his hands over his abdomen, up until his thumbs brushed over dark nipples, marveling at how he shivered and jerked. It was amazing, seeing him in a new light and taking in how different their bodies were. Bam's beautifully golden tanned skin was such a stark contrast to Khun's porcelain pale complexion, his own nipples a blush pink. "Lust isn't the same as being intoxicated, at least not the level I'm at right now. I'm well aware of what I'm doing and I very much like what I see." He hoped his voice was as much of a seductive purr as he wanted it to be.
Bam's lips parted subtly as he breathed and Khun enjoyed how those caramel brown eyes burned and smothered as they stared him down. "I never thought you would want this." He admitted in a tone of voice that was raw and vulnerable in spite of the bedroom eyes. It sobered Khun up a bit more actually. "One more chance to back off, Khun." His hands had somehow moved to the bed sheets instead of holding Khun like he wanted.
"You're not getting rid of me that easily. How is it you're trying to save me from this rather than the other way around?" Khun was genuinely perplexed by the concept. "Don't…you want this?" He recalled their conversation yesterday and frowned, "I wasn't…bad, was I?" The walls started crashing down and he started to pull his hands from Bam, self-conscious and concerned. Maybe he should have thought that through…if Bam didn't want this, then…
His hands were grabbed and put back on Bam's chest, "I never said I didn't want you." He reached up and brushed his fingers over Khun's cheek as he swept at the fringe framing his face. "You weren't bad, Khun. Not at all." He brought him down to kiss more gently this time and Khun melted into it, still grinding a bit as his body heated up by the romantic gesture.
When they parted, Khun's heart hammered at the sultry-without-trying expression Bam had; lips slightly parted and eyes half-lidded, "You said I can't get rid of you that easily and then you almost pulled away at the thought that I don't want you." A gentle stroke against his cheekbone that Khun leaned into, "I just don't want to lose you, but I do want you. I want this. I was…trying to…love you right. By…making you coffee and kissing the back of your neck or giving you a shoulder massage while you were on the couch. I didn't want to dive into this. I don't want to hurt you, Khun."
"Please," Khun murmured as he turned his head and kissed the inside of Bam's palm, keeping his eyes trained on him. It delighted him at how Bam's breath hitched. "Call me by my name."
"Aguero…" Bam breathed and groaned, "Aguero," he smothered him in another kiss and they rolled so Khun's back lay against the duvet, his body arching into Bam's. It was such a simple thing, but Khun giving him the permission and Bam taking it spoke volumes between them. Khun accepted what he was trying to do and heard what he was saying. Through it all, he still wanted him.
That was more than either of them could ask for.