Archive of Our Own ^beta

Regulus noticed Pandora was acting a little off tonight. Her laugh wasn’t as loud, and she seemed less...natural. All the qualities that made her Pandora seemed dimmer. She was quiet, which was odd. She didn’t share her thoughts in that candid way that Regulus had grown fond of.

He’d grown fond of a lot of things about her. He cringed inwardly. He shouldn’t think about things like that. He valued his friendship with Pandora. She was different from Barty and Evan. Not just because she was a girl, and not just because Regulus thought she was...brilliant. Clever, and kind, and if he’s being honest, rather striking.

She was also a halfblood, and Regulus didn’t have the courage to tell Mother all the things Pandora had made him rethink (and word would get back to Mother). Although he thought about it sometimes. When he felt lonely, and he let himself daydream that he was able to fix that loneliness.

As they neared the end of the patrol, they started up the stairs to the astronomy tower. It was empty, and Pandora walked over to the railing, leaning on it and staring up at the sky. Regulus stood next to her, looking at the sky. And then he was looking at her.

Pandora turned, and oh Merlin, she saw me looking. Regulus almost looked away, but something in her eyes held his gaze. Regulus swallowed, and finally blurted out “Are you alright? You seem...different tonight.” Regulus was never this candid, and he wondered if Pandora might be rubbing off on him.

Pandora laughed. Well, not really. The thing about Pandora’s laugh was that it was loud, and slightly obnoxious, and it just...took up space. It demanded to be noticed. This meant Pandora couldn’t really fake laughter. Or maybe Regulus just noticed too many things about her. “I couldn’t tell if you’d noticed. I’ve just been a bit nervous. It’s stupid.” Regulus was debating if he should ask her more, but she went ahead anyway, staring out at the grounds. “I...I like Xenophilius.” Regulus felt a pit form in his stomach. “And Emmeline says he likes me back, but…I just get nervous around him, I’m not myself. It was just...really embarrassing today.” She sighed, and turned back to Regulus. “Circe, I’m so sorry Reg. I didn’t mean to put all that on you.”

“It’s fine,” Regulus answered, ignoring the flipping sensation in his stomach. “What are friends for?” You idiot! Why would you say that? he screamed at himself.

Pandora beamed at him. “Thanks, Reg.” Well, at the very least he was a good friend to her. If only a friend. “The sky’s beautiful tonight,” she remarked, staring up at the stars.

“Yeah,” Regulus answered, not looking away from Pandora. “Beautiful.” Pandora kept looking up, though, and didn’t notice what he was hopelessly trying to convey in his last ditch effort.

A small part of Regulus felt guilty. But nothing had happened with her and Lovegood. If she wasn’t in a relationship yet, there wasn’t really any issue if he tried to flirt with her. Probably. His other attempts had gone over her head. Of course, that was his own fault for being so nervous anytime he tried.

Pandora gave a sigh. “I suppose we ought to get back.” Regulus nodded, and they turned to leave the tower. “Merlin alive if I can even go to sleep tonight.”

“Because of…”

“Yeah. I’m just gonna be thinking about everything that went wrong today.” Regulus would be too, not that he could say that.

“Well, you know you can talk to me whenever,” he offered. Because yeah, he totally wanted to hear her talk to him about Lovegood. Definitely.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Of course.” Why do I do this to myself?

He walked her to Ravenclaw tower, and before they parted ways, added “You don’t have anything to worry about. Guys...like you, Pandora.”

Pandora faked another laugh. “Yeah, right,” she dismissed.

“Yeah, what would I know about what guys like?” Regulus asked, his voice full of irony. She met his eyes, and Regulus stared back, smiling weakly, and silently begging her to realize what he was implying. There was a moment where he thought she got it. Where he thought she was about to finally realize.

“No, I suppose you wouldn’t,” she teased. Another fake laugh. She knocked on the door, and answered the riddle almost immediately. “Goodnight, Reg.”

“Goodnight.” Regulus turned and made his way back to the dungeons. The world was so incredibly unfair. The timing was awful. What had he thought, that he could just stand by, and expect no one else would take an interest in Pandora?

What did Xenophilius Lovegood have that he didn’t?

He’s a Ravenclaw. I was almost a Ravenclaw. I’m plenty smart.

He’s probably way more handsome than you. I’m decently attractive. Kind of.

Why wouldn’t she like him more? What would she like about you? Regulus gently kicked the stone wall, scuffing his shoes. He couldn’t even do anything about it, really.

He couldn’t tell Pandora how he felt. Then she’d feel like she had to choose between the two of them. And there’s no way she’d choose me.

Merlin, he was too much of a coward to ruin their friendship to be in a relationship. He wasn’t gonna do it just to get rejected.

Xenophilius Lovegood. Regulus had talked to him sometimes, when he’d study with Pandora and her Ravenclaw friends. He was nice. Which was totally unfair.

Why can’t Lovegood just be a jerk? It’d be so much easier to just hate him, but no. He was a decent person, and he’d treat Pandora well. Which was good, in the long run. But in the moment, Regulus just wanted to be angry.

That was stupid, right? Merlin, he was so sensible before he realized he liked this girl.

Regulus sighed, and continued his walk to the dungeons, trying to tell himself it wouldn’t have mattered. He’d never have had the courage to ask her out, so he should’ve known someone else would eventually. After all, Pandora was...Pandora. Of course someone else liked her.

He was just being stupid.

But he was so sodding tired of being second-best.